Something Visceral About My Mom Sadly Looking At Me And Quietly Saying “do You Think Your Dad Would

every time i make a mistake im like theyre going to put me down like a sick dog

had a dream where i texted michael and we just fought and fought lmfao. would happen if i reach out again fr

‘Prowling Cats’ by Tim Southall

HOLY FUCK POSEIDON AND DIONYSUS BLESSED ME. got wine drunk on the beach and took a swim :D happy happy beach girl

by the grace of the Gods, may I get through this moment.

“The greatest loss is the kind that you never had in the first place. I am reeling from the missing out on something that was never mine to begin with. This tragedy cuts me deep.”

— remnant-thoughts

this study has me all sorts of fucked up. i feel super shitty for a lot of my behavior and my just entire being right now. i’ve always been told since i was younger that i was this unfeeling manipulative monster, what if it’s true? what if all the doctors are lying or just don’t know enough to tell me that i’m horrible? how i endanger people, act shitty, am just wholly the demon my father said i was?

how do you cope? how do you just move on from that self reflection that you possibly aren’t the way close people say you are? how do i know what is real? who to trust?

i need to talk to dez but i don’t even know what i would say-

what if i like, just started manifesting that he came back? :D

(yes this is about who we all think this is about lmfao, im pathetic and need to speak to my therapist)

my self discovery journey is off to like the most insane start?? the universe has really decided that now is the time i finally get my shit together and be the person i only wished i could be. the coincidences are starting to feel more like fate. i want to talk to the Gods quickly on the subject and make sure that i am on my highest path,, but i think i’m really doing it guys. i just read the most empowering book about the universe and power of belief. i have the will, i just have to start to believe.

like the random compliments i’ve been giving are coming easier, enjoying my days and finding the good is still tough but i’m getting there, the last step is realizing that i am not what my father thinks i am- which will hopefully come faster than i could ever expect.