Im Suffering From A Horrendous Disease Called Being In Your 20s

Submitted by Anon

Another thought on Epic the Musical, do you want to know one detail that kills me every time?

If you look at the titles of the songs, the ONLY songs that are named after characters are songs that are named after monsters that are trying to slaughter as many people as possible (like Polyphemus, Scylla, and Charybdis). No human character or even any god gets a song named after them, only the monsters do.

But (MINOR SPOILER AHEAD), do you know what song 38 is titled? Odysseus.

Odysseus, the man made monster, who has become something so far from his own humanity that he is counted within the ranks of the terrible monsters that came earlier in the story. Odysseus, who will absolutely be trying to slaughter as many suitors as possible when he returns to Ithaca.

It's such a small detail, but it gets me every time I think about it! Because not only has Odysseus become a monster in the eyes of the other characters, but he has become one in the eyes of THE VERY MUSICAL ITSELF!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!

👀

This gives me many ideas! Here's how I picture the BBC Merlin knights in each scenario!

Somebody talking to Merlin about Gwaine or Lancelot

All of the knights (plus Arthur) while simping over Merlin

All of the knights after meeting Merlin for the first time

Definitely Gwaine and Lancelot talking about what they would do with a kneeling knight emoji!

Gwen and/or Merlin with Lancelot

Gwaine talking to Merlin about why he should bring him on the quest to the Perilous Lands!

I just love the dynamic of all of the knights looking at Merlin and going "hell yeah, that's our little buddy! :) And if you hurt him we'll disembowel you! :)"

I've been seeing a lot of knight posts recently. pretty great

The sidhe in Avalon, writing this down: jail for Arthur for 1000 years by Emrys's decree, got it!

you STEP on merlin?? you step on his back like a footstool?? jail for arthur!! jail for arthur for one thousand years

You know what type of characters are my favorite? The ones that aren't just doomed by the narrative, but the narrative seems to have a personal vendetta against them.

I'm talking about characters who the narrative wants to fistfight to the death in a Denny's parking lot at 3am. Characters who get tied behind the narrative's truck and dragged through a minefield of angst and pain. Characters that the narrative will turn into a pathetic, sopping wet cat. Characters that the narrative will elbow slam into the floor from the top rope while they're down just for the fun of it.

I just love characters that don't pass the narrative's vibe check and get put through the horrors and come out the other side a different person because of it.

Hello everyone! Here's another Epic au that's be rattling around in my brain! Enjoy! :D

(Also, I'll probably have one or two more Epic au's before I switch back to my usual Merlin au's.)

This premise of this au is kind of similar to my last one, but a also very different different. In this au, when mortals interact with gods or monsters, they're left with some sort of marker, as a way to show other mortals that they have gotten the attention of a powerful entity, whether for good reasons or terrible ones.

Most mortals never encounter any of the gods, so they don't have to worry about any marks, but for people who have been the subject of a god's attention or ire, they're left with a permanent reminder of it. These marks are either physical, showing up on the person's body, or take the form of some ability granted to the mortal. However, these marks can be either a blessing or a curse.

So, in this au, Odysseus has had a physical marker of his connection to Athena since a young age. Ever since he was a boy, his eyes almost glowed at night, his gaze far sharper than any humans' should be. At times, his neck could turn to a far greater degree than what was physically possible, allowing for him to quickly catch enemies attempting to sneak up on him from behind. He keeps these abilities for his entire life, even after Athena has left him.

While all of this helped make Odysseus a warrior beyond nearly any other, as the Trojan War ended and he set out to return home with his crew, he learned through many brutal lessons that the marks left behind from encountering the gods were not always a boon.

The first time a new mark (in what would eventually become quite the collection) appeared on his journey, it was as he was sailing away from the cyclops's cave, having just finished shouting his name at the beast.

After defeating the cyclops, Odysseus gains physical strength beyond anything he or his men have seen before. However, he cannot control it at first, leading to Odysseus accidentally breaking everything he holds and even accidentally injuring his crewmates just by touching them. This Odysseus fears this mark greatly, because how is he supposed to hold his wife and son if he cannot hold anything without breaking it?!

Next, when Odysseus is given the wind bag by Aeolus, he gains a mark that gives him silent steps, as if he weighs nothing more than air. He spooks many of the crew with this, but luckily they're able to adapt fairly well to this mark.

After encountering Poseidon the first time, Odysseus, to his horror, grows gills on his neck, as a cruel reminder from the god of the seas that Odysseus had escaped the watery grave that so many of his men were mercilessly thrown into, and they're by far his most noticeable mark. Odysseus spends many hours staring at the gills in horror, wondering if Penelope will even be able to recognize him when he gets home.

Hermes, much like Athena, decides to be helpful with his mark on Odysseus. His mark is a swift and sure stride, allowing Odysseus to move quicker and more nimbly than he ever had before.

After Circe, Odysseus gains yet another mark, which he is beginning to dread at this point. Circe's mark is the ability to conjure realistic illusions of just about anything, from Odysseus himself to any of the monsters he's seen.

After killing the sirens, Odysseus gains a mark from them as well. This time, he gains the ability to mimic voices, any voice he's heard. Sometimes, in the dead of night, he uses it to mimic Penelope's voice, the voice he's missed so dearly, softly singing to himself.

After Scylla, Odysseus gains his most grotesque mark yet. All of his teeth transform into sharp, ferocious fangs that are stained blood-red despite how many times Odysseus washes out his mouth. Odysseus avoids talking for a while after that, too horrified at the sight he now makes.

He certainly looks like a monster now, but his journey is long from over.

Next, after his fateful choice from Zeus, Odysseus wakes up on Calypso's island with yet another mark. This time, when Odysseus gets angry, the air around him becomes almost charged, humming with energy that sets everything around on edge, a primordial fear running through them.

Calypso's mark is put on him near-immediately after he meets her, allowing him to persuade any mortal with his voice alone. Odysseus curses the fact that the ability doesn't work on goddesses every single day for seven years when he pleads for release from the island.

The second time Odysseus meets Hermes, the god of travelers decides to bless him again with yet another helpful mark. This time, Hermes gives him the ability to locate anything he wants, including Ithaca, to guide his way home.

After outmaneuvering Charybdis, Odysseus gains its mark as well, allowing him to pull nearby objects closer to him, just like Charybdis with its whirlpools.

And finally, after Odysseus is done torturing Poseidon, he gains one last mark: his nails sharpened into long claws, the ends pointed like Poseidon's trident and permanently stained ichor-gold. One last transformation for Odysseus to become the monster Poseidon accused him of being.

For the entirety of his journey home, Odysseus hated most of his marks, despising them for turning him into something else, something not quite himself. He hated what he was becoming with each mark that took him further and further away from his humanity.

However, when Odysseus finally set foot in his palace once more only to find over a hundred suitors plotting to do terrible things to his wife and son? Odysseus finally understood. He realized, at long last, what the marks, given to him by gods and monsters, allies and enemies alike, were meant to be used for.

All of these marks that he had acquired, they had indeed turned him into the perfect monster. Namely, the marks had transformed him into a monster well-suited for hunting down any mortal that had dared to invade his home.

Odysseus doesn't even use his bow, as the string snapped under his strength when he pulled it back, ready to silence the most vocal of these pests with an arrow through his neck. Instead, it seemed like he was going to have his already blood-stained hands claws dirty.

Calling upon Aeolus and Circe's marks, he hid his presence, filling the air around him with an illusion that where he was standing was empty. Then, he silently crept forward, until he was only mere steps behind the boasting pig, which didn't even know that it was about to be slaughtered.

Using Charybdis' mark, he pulled his prey back towards him and, before anyone in the room could blink, tore the vermin's throat out with his claws.

There was a moment of stunned silence among all of the suitors prey before Odysseus dropped his illusion, revealing his full visage. His face and torn tunic drenched in the blood of a god, his blood-stained fangs bared, his gills flaring, his eyes nearly glowing in the light of the torches, his claws

The moment the prey set their eyes on him, terrified screams of "oh gods" and "what is that?" ring out from the crowd, but Odysseus pays them no mind. No, he ignores all of the cries from the crowd, because he has only one goal in mind:

To hunt.

(Much, much later, after blood has coated nearly every surface in the palace and there are no more suitors to kill, Penelope and Odysseus reunite at long last.

And if, after everything, Penelope gains a mark of her own after "slaying" the monster that Odysseus had become in order to bring her husband back to her, then neither of them would think too much of it.)

And that's all for now on this au! Please let me know if you'd like a continuation!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

Thanks for tagging me @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu! Here's mine!

No pressure tags! @guiltyscarlet @justaz @theroundbartable @larluce @247merthur, and anyone else who wants to join in!

show me your beautiful self this tuesday night 🤍

This au was created with the combined forces of the amazing and awesomely talented group of @griffonskies, @hufflehobbitmakes, @lorienrobins, and myself (and they're all super cool people and you should all check out their blogs!) in an absolutely hilarious conversation, so I had to flesh this idea out. Enjoy!

This is a post-canon AU, where Merlin is still living by the Lake of Avalon in modern times, awaiting Arthur's return. While the world has changed immensely in the time since Arthur's reign, there were a few things that have stayed the same. And one of the things that had stayed constant throughout the last 1500 years were the druids and their worship of Emrys.

As Merlin's powers grew following Camlann, he found that he could hear the prayers that the druids directed at him, and he could answer them to the best of his ability with his magic while staying at the shores of Avalon. Besides, the druids knew better than to seek him out in person unless there was an absolute emergency.

Now, fast forwards to the 21st century, and there's modern druids worshipping Merlin as Emrys, and they pray to him and leave offerings, and he still sometimes answers their prayers. While the most popular offerings to Emrys are physical offerings, such as wooden carvings and food, their songs and dances praising him work as offerings as well.

However, one day, some Gen Z druids get an idea. Their religion isn't very well known, how about they spread more awareness of it online? And what better way to reach a wide audience than to share one of their dances praising Emrys on TikTok!

And of course, their dances for Emrys blows up online and go viral. The consequences of this, besides the rising interest in their religion, is that Merlin has accidentally gained millions of new worshippers, who have performed the dance without really knowing what it means.

Suddenly, with millions of people performing dances in honor of him online, Merlin is more powerful than ever before, much to his own confusion, since he's just chilling in a cabin next to the lake and doesn't really spend much time online.

However, one day, Arthur's reincarnation does the new dance trend at reincarnated Morgana's insistence. Merlin immediately senses his king performing one of the dances made to worship Emrys and teleports to Arthur's location, scaring the shit out of him. Now Arthur's stuck with a maybe-a-god-but-honesty-kinda-hot guy in his flat who keeps calling him "sire" and telling him to go to some lake so he can pick up a sword. It's a very confusing day for poor Arthur!

Bonus: some quotes from Gen Z druids in this au explaining their religion online: "Yeah, we can talk directly to our god, but he doesn't always respond because he's kinda busy being sad next to a magical lake."

"No, we swear he isn't a cult leader looking for a tax break!"

"If you catch him in a good mood he might do a pub crawl with you! That happened to my cousin once!"

"Yeah, I heard he turned water into beer on that pub crawl! Wild night."

Hello everyone! Thank you all so much for all of the love you've given my latest au! I'm working on a continuation for the "Arthur misunderstands what a warlock is" au and will hopefully have it posted by tomorrow!

However, I have a question for everyone! I'm considering starting a new writing project based on Greek mythology (essentially a horror retelling of the Odyssey where mortal become less and less human every time they interact with the gods), and I'd love to share my work with you all! But, I'm conflicted on whether or not I should make a new blog for this project or not.

I know that most (probably all) of you are here for my Merlin content, and I want this blog to be enjoyable for everyone, so I want your thoughts!

I originally created this blog to share my silly Merlin au's and fanfics with you all, and I'm happy to keep it exclusive to that if you guys want that! However, I'm also happy to share all of my writing, Merlin-related or not, here!

I want this blog to be as fun as it can be for both you all and myself, so I value your feedback! Happy voting, and I'll be back soon with my au continuation post! :D

Alright, I've seen some debates on this, but I want to settle this question once and for all!

For reference: