Randomwilmonfan - Whimsical Longings

"His eyes– those magnets, or possibly two black pools to match the dark sea beyond them. Much like that unforgiving water, they threaten to pull Wille under."

(read here)

I JUST TOLD MOM, SHE'S FINE WITH THAT. | YOUNG ROYALS 3.06

Thank you for writing this.

Naturally we all know that this in no way excuses August's literal crimes he's committed against other children, and simultaneously I do think the context is important. Abusers don't just *poof* materialize out of nowhere -- they're created and made by the influences / forces around them. (And then the newly-created abuser is responsible for the choices they make and actions they take afterwards, of course).

I've actually been thinking about the trauma August has experienced (at Hillerska + pre-Hillerska) a lot, ever since Young Royals season 1. We had two striking examples there of times August was about to try and open up (strangely to Wille, of all people) before being immediately cut off and ignored.

First example, S1E4: After the Society initiation for Wilhelm, before he ends up on the football field. August and Wille are outside peeing, and Wille is intoxicatedly expressing his guilt, grief, and conflicted feelings to August after his brother's death. August begins to open up as well, saying he *too* felt guilty after his father's death (suicide) and that he was somehow to blame. He doesn't even get to finish that sentence before drunken Wille cuts him off mid-thought. The look on August's face at that point is one that always cuts me to my core & brings me sorrow.

The second time was in S1E6, after August had already uploaded the video. Wille knew about it, but didn't know it was August's doing. In either a show of remorse, or as a kind of play-acting fakeness, August shows up to Wilhelm's room to offer him (fake or genuine?) consolation and advice. He begins to thank Wille for helping him with he tuition fees before Wilhelm cuts him off and says (essentially) that no one will ever be as helpful as Erik and he'd rather be talking to him, hearing Erik's advice. This isn't technically a "rehashing of trauma" moment at all -- but it is a moment where August was about to show vulnerability to someone who helped him, and August isn't used to being helped. Both of his parents abandoned him: his father to death, and his mother to Hillerska. Now this little cousin he's been hazing and betraying actually does something kind for him -- and he isn't able to access sufficient airspace to acknowledge it and share a moment of gratitude. Wilhelm never acknowledges that he heard August at all. His face, again, seems to communicate something really complicated and dejected then.

All this is to say -- I've just been spending a lot of time trying to understand August and meditating on the complicated, conflicting ways he shows up, and especially about his relationship to vulnerability. Not in order to forgive him! The crime he committed was truly evil and inexcusable. But I do want to understand. I want to know. How did he come to be this way? Where did all of this evolve from? And he always really fascinates me for these reasons.

August's story is not "good boy turned bad at Hillerska" but something so much more complicated.

I've been thinking a lot about August and the revelations in S3. About how Erik and co played an even bigger role in his indoctrination and development into a toxic mess of a young man than I had imagined - but how it's also important to remember that didn't happen in a vacuum.

The new information doesn't cancel out the old, it just completes it.

August will have still grown up in the highly patriarchal, misogynist, elitist system of the aristocracy, with a very specific view of the world and his place in it. Idolising his father, whose tux he is fittingly wearing when he gets "awarded" the bad boy trophy. A man who taught him by example that death was preferable to failure - and seemingly turned him against his mother, as we could infer from S1E3. A mother who then essentially dumped him off at Hillerska after his father's death and left him feeling like the only woman in his life failed to support them both.

It's precisely these kinds of views, values and experiences from his early life that will have primed him for the culture of abuse at Hillerska (which his father will have also attended back in the day). Made him so desperate for the older boys' approval, vulnerable to their abuse, and susceptible to the awful patterns they impressed upon him. Erik and the others' part in messing him up is horrible and bigger than we thought, but that doesn't cancel out his parents' part any more than his own victimhood excuses his victimisation of others. He's got many intersecting and partially overlapping cycles to break, and I really hope we see him take more steps down that road on Monday.

I may write a longer meta post on him after the finale. For now, though, I'm just going to engage in some shameless self-promo and point to my old analysis post with more thoughts on his upbringing and worldview as well as the backstory one-shot I wrote in the run-up to S3. (It's set two and a half years before his arrival at Hillerska and focuses on his father's horrible influence, as well as his parents' marriage as a possible model for his seemingly contradicting views of women and romance. It remains compatible with canon apart from a few details - please check the tags for content warnings, though).

ever notice how the ONLY time wille uses his other bed is when felice--who is the only person other than simon to hang out in his room--is over?

almost

almost like

he's trying to preserve the memory of simon in his bed

For everyone going through everything we're all going through right now...

here is a break from doom scrolling in the form of my cat teaching herself fetch. Enjoy.

They’re scared because they know that the public is with Luigi.

They’re violating his rights because they need to maintain capitalism.

Keep talking about Luigi.

did we make it? yes, we did

I already wrote this on Twitter and Reddit, but I like what I wrote, so I’m posting it here too. Meh. So sue me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

After sitting with Young Royals S3 for a few days, I have a new main takeaway, after letting myself feel the initial rage & grief & hurt & disappointment.

New takeaways:

While Seasons 1 & 2 were primarily a love story, S3 is a very serious, thoughtful, and important meditation on trauma + the impacts of abuse & neglect on kids.

I hate almost every single adult in the YR universe. They emotionally abandoned these kids in general life + during moments of severe crisis & trauma, both past & present. They set these kids up to fail. And when those children did inevitably fail, the adult washed their hands clean of responsibility and pinned the blame solely on the kids.

Very few of these children have any coping skills or communication skills at all. Even the ones who WANT to show up for each other properly, and who don’t want to hurt each other (one example being Wille), end up hurting others anyway because they’ve never learned any other ways of interacting.

Here's a "brief" list of some of the traumas (that we know about) these kids have endured:

Revenge CP sex tape

Online & in-person harassment (esp. Simon)

Homophobic hazings to terrorize, demean, & publicly humiliate them

Violence (related to #3 above)

Grief & loss, including death (but not limited to death -- see #s 8 & 10)

Familial betrayal

Familial substance abuse & possible DV (related to #6)

CONSTANT invalidation, dismissal, minimization, & victim-blaming (esp. with the Royal Family)

Emotional neglect & abandonment (closely related to point #8)

Even being on the receiving end of outright contempt & disdain from one's own family

Control & surveillance from the Royal Court

It's no fucking wonder these children are so messed up & don't know how to navigate life & relationships.

Of course, they're still responsible for their actions. Accountability still remains extremely important. (Which is where introspection, taking corrective action, & pursuing repair come into play.) I'm in no way arguing that this excuses anything. *And* simultaneously, the adults in their lives have failed them so badly -- leading us to arrive here, at S3.

It reminds me of one of my favorite adages that I use in my mental health line of work all the time: "It's not our fault what happens to us. But it is our responsibility what we do next."

Realistically, I don't know how kids are supposed to manage this on their own. Being wounded so much, surrounded & overwhelmed by so many pressures, with very close to ZERO adult supervision, support, or help. It just wounds my soul to see the impact it's having on them.

I'm thinking about all of this in the context of several characters... but in particular (obviously) Wilhelm & Simon. And truthfully, especially for Wille, because I had such a hard time empathizing with him this season. I felt so deeply hurt by his obliviousness to Simon's pain, as well as both offended by and disappointed in his "all queers" comment and dismissing the opportunity to value Simon's politics or opinions on how he could use his position as Crown Prince to do good in the world. I was angry with the writers, too: like, how dare they? I wanted Wille to show up as a more evolved version of himself. I wanted his besotted-ness to translate into being a "better" person.

But, then I got to thinking... like, how in fact would he know to do that? Wille isn't trying to be cruel. In fact, I think he is in all actuality trying his hardest with the tiny amount of social skills he has to demonstrate the care he feels. (That does NOT excuse his actions, of course. I mean, poisoned cake, anyone??).

However, he is a child who is EXTREMELY overwhelmed and wracked with guilt... and with no way to realistically handle this. He has ZERO parental or even adult support (the best he's got is Farima; he doesn't even appear to have individual sessions with Boris anymore). There are exactly zero adults helping him to navigate this. I actually don't know how a child should or could know how to do better with all this pressure, especially because it all comes back to decisions he's made (to not conform to family+royal pressure, to come out, to publicly challenge traditions, etc.). The overwhelmingness of it must be enormous.

Compounded with that, no adult in his life has ever modeled to him how to properly talk to another human being about emotions. When he had emotions, he was minimized, dismissed, shut down, ignored. He has zero idea of how else to handle it, even if he wanted to handle it differently. Where & when would he have learned these skills? So, of course when Simon brings up his online harassment, he really doesn't know what else to do besides sigh and say "ignore it." I don't think he's actively trying to minimize. I think he has absolutely no other language that he's aware of to use. He just has no skills, support, or role modeling when it comes to this. He's in WAAAAAAAAY way over his head and never previously learned how to swim. I do really think Wille is trying his absolute best. (Which is not good enough, and he does need to learn to do better -- not an excuse, just a building up of context.)

In an ideal world, someone at this point would hand him a book on Reflective Listening skills so he could learn to validate, normalize, and properly attune to emotions. I think he probably wants to -- I see how concerned his expression is every time he looks at Simon after the window-rock incident, and after they overhear their classmates mocking Simon's revolution love song. He probably feels totally helpless, confused, disoriented, frustrated, & self-critical in his process of trying to figure out on his own how to listen to & validate others (I mean, he literally does say his attempts are always "clumsy").

I imagine his internal shame at being terrible at attunement & communication must be immense. He makes it clear that he's aware he's terrible at all of this, but doesn't seem to know what to do about it. (And again, there are NO adults to help him figure this out! Except for maybe Boris's mediation sessions...?) I wish someone would hand him the Nonviolent Communication skills book & workbook. He'd probably be able to heave a big sigh of relief, knowing how to talk to & be there for the people he loves. He'd probably feel more empowered, too, as a result, and therefore less anxious. Win-win-win.

In summary: I just feel so freaking heartbroken for Simon, Wille, & a lot of the other kids, too. They are CHILDREN. Adults are supposed to be role modeling for them, guiding them, helping them cope & navigate the pressures of life. INSTEAD, they just heap on *even more* trauma.

So... yeah. I think it's intriguing that the writers chose to shift to make Season 3 a meditation on trauma and its consequences. And now that I'm reframing the season through that lens in my mind, I'm able to sit with the content more easily and understand it better.

I really really wish everyone would get SHITTONS OF THERAPY in the YR universe (and also in real life, ha). Even better: go back in time and put all the adults in therapy, so their kids don't have to emotionally handle + figure out everything on their own! It's really not the kids' fault that they wound up with no skills or tools, and just confusedly trying to fumble their way through things in the dark. My heart really breaks for a lot of these kiddos, just trying their best and fucking it all up.

YOUNG ROYALS 2.06 | 3.06