Lan Jingyi Speaking The Unwritten Rules

book!Wei Wuxian so far is like “i like to pretend to be gay to manipulate people and freak them out and sometimes just for fun bc i’m shameless haha but i’m totally 100% straight even though i’ve never so much as noticed a woman in my life. totally unrelated, but has anyone else noticed how pretty Lan Wangji is and how piercing his eyes are and how pleasantly he smells of sandalwood? i’m going to play with his clothing while he carries me in his strong, muscular arms tralala.”

also that scene in the book where lwj magics wwx stuck on top of him in bed is like

wwx: i’m going to straddle him and bring our faces super close together to gross him out until he kicks me out and i simply won’t think about why none of this grosses me out haha

lwj: sigh.

the more you act like this, the more certain i am you’re you, dumbass

bc i know you’re just doing this to upset me and not bc you actually want it, i’m going to give you two chances to get the fuck off me

joke’s on you tho, i’m really enjoying this

i spent over a decade mourning your death and though i never lost hope i also never really expected to feel the weight of your body on top of mine and my heart is going to explode

it’s past 9pm, idiot, go to sleep

im pissing myself over this recap bit because out of context its just formaggio introducing himself and narancia blowing that bitch up for no reason

screencap redraw

Imagine you're Lan Xichen. You've spent the past decade+ worrying about your younger brother who, according to your own perspective on things, fell wildly in love with an evil heretic cultivator, kinda betrayed your sect for him, got punished within an inch of his life by your elders, and spent subsequent years in mourning when said evil heretic cultivator got killed.

You're starting to think that your brother is never going to get over this, is always going to be holding onto a certain amount of grief and anger and lonesome distance.

But then one day, he brings another guy home! And, yes, this guy is not perfect either. He's also a heretic cultivator and a notorious lunatic, who is in a bad position with your own situationship. But! Maybe Wangji is finally starting to move on? Even if his bad taste persists, this one is at least more manageable. How fortuitous that your stubborn, obsessive brother should finally find a new yeah no that's Wei Wuxian, isn't it?

It's just Wei Wuxian again.

cumplane using modern slang and everybody thinks they have some secret undecipherable code language. somebody says “what is love” and they both simultaneously go “baby don’t hurt me.” they tell each other to “kay why ess” on a regular basis (sqq says it moreso than sqh). during peak lord meetings sqh will scribble a nonsensical meme on a napkin and slide it over to sqq and he’ll crack tf up. sometimes they’ll just purposely mess with people by stringing together the most contrived possible sentence while acting as if it’s completely normal and watch whoever they’re with speedrun all five stages of grief

qi rong vine boom pt 2

What The Director means to say, is that when ordering his burger earlier, he requested there be no pickles, and yet, his sandwich does appear to contain them. We expect this to be remedied, either through refunding the purchase, or supplying a new burger, and perhaps an offer of a complimentary drink or fries? I’m confident you’ll be able to assist us in dealing with this matter without us needing to involve any higher authority.

UMMM THE NEW 2HA COVER??? SOOO PRETTY