Latest Posts by rikidaze - Page 7
mc enemiez! ( ✶ ) idol! jungwon x gg idol! reader ˃ᴗ˂
⸝⸝ SYNOPSIS 𐪆 despite jungwon being a #humble leader, he was kinda salty about the fact that his almighty title of the “youngest leader in k-pop” has been taken by blackpink’s brand new juniors. the world goes against jungwon’s wishes in staying as far away from her as possible when they both end up being the new mcs for ‘the show’. ₊˚✸ ༘
⸝⸝ GENRE 𐪆 written + social media au, (one-sided) rivalry to lovers au, idolverse + bad attempt at humor :p, angst
⸝⸝ WARNINGS 𐪆 some yge slander, messy timestamps, my attempts in being funny lol, some swearing
⸝⸝ STATUS 𐪆 completed : 03.09.22 % START : 12.30.21 !
⸝⸝ UPDATE SCHEDULE 𐪆 every two days !
⸝⸝ TAGLIST 𐪆 taglists are closed !
◖ MASTERLIST ?! — plz stop flirting! ꔛ the emos + sunoo
prologue . . . soompoopy
OO1 . . . mama (socmed+written)
OO2 . . . so what!
OO3 . . . og big 3
OO4 . . . maybe i should
OO5 . . . jungwon urge
OO6 . . . you’re all delulu!
OO7 . . . first time
OO8 . . . oh shoot
OO9 . . . where’s updog
O1O . . . business casual (socmed+written)
O11 . . . ladies man
O12 . . . cat café (socmed+written)
O13 . . . good day
O14 . . . bet ur jealous!
O15 . . . sunghoon (socmed + written)
O16 . . . must resist
O17 . . . i miss her
O18 . . . first episode (written)
⠀⠀⠀ ˓ bonus chapter . . . operation : ynwon (text + written)
O19 . . . ggs
O2O . . . is this a date? (socmed + written)
⠀⠀⠀ ˓ bonus chapter . . . manifestations (socmed + written)
O21 . . . like, like like
O22 . . . i did it again
O23 . . . immense heartbreak
O24 . . . officially doomed
O25 . . . overpriced qtips
O26 . . . janitors closet (written)
⠀⠀⠀ ˓ bonus chapter . . . after school (written)
O27 . . . pretty girl
O28 . . . tug of war (written)
O29 . . . moving out
O30 . . . busted (socmed + written)
O31 . . . sad and disappointing (written)
O32 . . . bf and co-worker
O33 . . . this is a date. (socmed + written)
⠀⠀⠀ ˓ bonus chapter . . . family approval
epilogue . . . first and last
SILENT TREATMENT!
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PAIRING — non idol!yang jungwon x non idol!reader
GENRE — ex friends to lovers, reader ignores jungwon in first bunch of chapters, reader is closed off, fluff, angst, reader is stubborn asf
SYPNOSIS — yn and jungwon, the middle school best friends everyone thought would get into a relationship when they entered highschool. well, they were definitely wrong. after entering highschool, jungwon finds new friends and slowly starts to ignore yn. as much time went on, they became strangers once again, until yn decided to leave. jungwon never noticed that she left, that was until he went for family dinner at yn’s parents house. regret, pain, guilt, is all the boy could feel when her parents mentioned that one of her best friends decided to ignore her, like they were strangers again. as the years of highschool goes past, jungwon becomes closed off, only talking to his friends, wishing he still had her. but what if yn returns for the last year of highschool? will jungwon make an effort to become friends again? or will she be the one ignoring him this time?
FEATURING — aespa: karina, itzy: lia, nctdream: chenle
WARNINGS — talks about being unproductive, cussing, jungwon kinda did reader dirty, MUCH angst
STATUS — COMPLETED
TAGLIST — closed!
A/N — okay ngl im excited for this one hella much bc me and angst 🤝 best friends, also DAMN i have a mf long sypnosis and for what😭😭😭also posting this rn while i work on my niki smau!!!
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000. PROFILES — #wehatehimsquad | simps🤣
001. mf in his feels again😭😭😭
002. fuck this shit, im not coming back💀
003. im (un)fortunately back
004. loml’s here, stfu🫶🏼
005. he’s excited for nothing (heartbreaking!)
006. i hate my life ,, i love my life <3
007. laugh out loud
008. liar liar☠️
009. hes..okay ig?🙄
010. hospitality.. ?
011. new bsf fr🫣
012. miss his dumbass lowkey
013. project..? OH PROJECT
014. speaking terms = no
015. give him a chance atleast (fuck chances!!!!!)
016. so.. what now?
017. plan: get the girl, step one: completed.
018. niki best wingman💪🏼
019. im not ready to talk about if yet
020. social distance
021. not-so normal day with the gang + niki
022. IM CAVING HELP
023. the time has come i fear
024. i never did well in listening skills tests
025. new beginnings… super cool🧍♂️
026. both gc’s are going BOOM!🥺
027. date-date? or friend date?
028. so the dance……
029. MRS CHOI AND MR KIM ARE TOGETHER?!
030. and so are ynwon👉🏼
031. love. funny isnt it?
032. ynwon deprived😞
033. silent treatment!
THE END.
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TAGLIST ONE (closed) — @soulsdeadplants @hiqhkey @yunki4evr @lovnayeon @axolotlboo @deeznutsriki @kimjiho1 @emoworu @tomorrowbymoa-together @jwsflower @ayayiiie @yeonjunsleftboob @caty-catts @sunghoonsblackgf @jungwonnieee @sophhloaff @cyuuupid @i4cho @imyuna-06 @viagumi @kimmchijjajang @y4ngjungw0nz @arizejkt19 @lil-iva @stickersim @wonluvrbot @rrvvby @swnheo @facelesswrittes @talks-with-meena @scarfac3 @crazywittysassy @shawkneecaps @cwsana @misavenue @heystarlette @99outros @lachinitaaaaa @jiawji @straykidz0914 @tobiosbbyghorl @mklhyvn @kaeslily @rendezrei @meowtella @ineedcoffeeandtherapy @denleave1088 @blearis @3nh4luvr @life-shining @stephaniekim15 @pjongbb204 @nvertheless
TAGLIST TWO (open) — @/prettysung @/jihyoscrown @/wtfhyuck @/strwberrydinosaur @/ritsusakumasgf @/zqynmlk @/gzeebo @/nyfwyeonjun @/ilvsoup @/hyuckscore @/simjakeissohot @/harperwasstaken1 @/ahnneyong @/enhacolor @/ariafies @/she-is-dreaming @/bennettsprmcy @/jakahbot @/jovibaes @/potaeto-writes-on-wp @/thisisnotjacinta @/hyunjunbaragi @/sweetjaemss
oh, to be loved by niki <3
N.RK. — RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP.
pairing. nishimura riki x gn reader
genre. fluff, best friends to lovers au, highschool au, a bit of angst, dancer au
warnings. food, mutual pining, slight themes of jealousy
summary. in which you'd gladly ruin your friendship with niki in favor of being lovers instead, but can't decide if niki feels the same way.
length. oneshot
word count. 5.5k+
taglist. @starlostseungmin @luvhyun3 @ilynaevis @dnadoublefelixx (send ask if you'd like to be added or removed !!)
a/n. to minimize confusion, please just assume that everyone mentioned in this au is in their senior year of high school 😭 also.. hwangsify enhypen writer debut?!? 😰😓‼️ it's my first enha au so please please please feel free to give me feedback / your thoughts about this piece !!
It is during your seventeenth May that you learn 3 things about Nishimura Riki, certified dance prodigy, bungeoppang enthusiast, and also your best friend.
1) That he really has grown up, in more ways than one (and you can’t decide if you like it or not), 2) that longer hair suits him a little more than you’d like to admit (especially when he tackles you in a sweaty bearhug after practice just to annoy you and his damp bangs are falling artfully over his eyes in a very attractive way), and 3) you have utterly and absolutely fallen in love with him (and you’re not sure how to fall back out).
If you’re being honest, you still don’t quite know how #3 happened. After all, this is Niki you’re talking about, who you have known since the two of you were pudgy first graders. You’ve watched him sob over Toy Story 3 and rip the seam of his pants while attempting a split during dance practice and just about a thousand other wonderfully embarrassing things that you, as Niki’s childhood best friend, are privileged to watch and observe Niki do. (You also have your own fair share of embarrassing moments but that’s a conversation for another day).
The point is, it’s just a little alarming that Niki had to be the one you’d fall for. After spending so many years together, the two of you practically spend every waking moment together at each other’s throats.
(“You two bicker like an old-married couple,” Heeseung tells you one day, after you spend half an hour complaining to him about how tall Niki has been getting recently.
“I’m not even going to think about the implications of that statement,” you snap back, and pointedly ignore the complacent grin that makes its way across Heeseung’s face.)
If it were up to you, you’d probably choose to fall for someone like Jake, who’s something like boyfriend material personified and who also doesn’t make it his life mission to annoy you until you physically cannot stand him anymore. But instead, you had to go ahead and fall for Niki. And now there are stupid butterflies fluttering wildly in your stomach whenever you set your eyes on him and his insanely attractive bangs and your heart skips a beat whenever he touches you, even if only on accident.
It’s annoying, you decide. Being in love is very, very annoying.
It’s not like you can help it, though. You never could quite help yourself when it came to Nishimura Riki.
“Buy me bungeoppang after dance practice,” Niki prompts, sweeping his bangs back from his forehead as he goes through the dance sequence for the thousandth time.
He looks good today. You have trouble tearing your eyes off of him.
“Sorry, what? I wasn’t listening.”
“I said, buy me bungeoppang after dance practice,” he repeats, turning to glance at you.
You sigh. “Remind me again why we’re getting bungeoppang at the expense of my wallet and not yours?”
“I bought bungeoppang last time for both you and Sunghoon!”
If you’re being honest, you are very tired of the fish pastries at this point. Niki insists on buying them every time you get off from dance practice (because he’s just that obsessed) and while you enjoy them, you’d also much rather get something else to eat. Preferably something salty— you’ve been craving Sajo Corn Dogs recently.
But it gives you an opportunity to spend more time with Niki, and the smile that lights on his face every time he bites into the bungeoppang makes it all a thousand times worth it. So you choke down the pastries anyway and try your best to act as if you’re not exhausted from eating the same stuff every time you get off from dance practice.
“Fine,” you sigh. “I’ll buy you bungeoppang. But you’re buying next time.”
Niki hums in agreement, a small smile gracing his lips. The door sounds from behind you and you turn to see Sunghoon trotting inside, accompanied by a pouting Sunoo.
“What’s with the face?” you laugh.
Sunghoon grins. “He’s sulking because Jay insulted his aegyo.”
Niki audibly snorts from behind you, although he doesn’t look away from the mirror as he goes through the choreography. Sunoo rolls his eyes and clutches your arm imploringly. “At least you find me cute, right Y/N?”
For a moment, you’re tempted to tease Sunoo, just to see him pout some more. But you decide that he’s gone through enough today, especially considering the fact that Jay really does not hold back when it comes to bashing Sunoo’s aegyo. Grinning, you reach out a hand to ruffle Sunoo’s pink strands of hair. “Sure. You’re pretty cute.”
Sunoo beams smugly at Sunghoon. “I told you someone finds me cute.”
“Y/N doesn’t count!” Sunghoon protests. “You know they’ve always had a soft spot for you.”
Niki turns around from the mirror, grinning. “Besides, it’s only Y/N that finds you cute.”
Sunoo’s eyes narrow as he glares at Niki. “Yah, are you asking for a beating?”
You quickly grab Niki’s arm before the two of them can jump at each other, because after years of watching the two of them together, you’ve long since learned that Niki and Sunoo can only spend an allotted amount of time together before they start chasing each other around the room while screaming insults at each other.
“Actually, me and Niki were just about to go buy some bungeoppang. Do you two want any?”
Sunoo shakes his head. “Don’t you get tired of bungeoppang? I’ve eaten so much bungeoppang this past year that I feel like throwing up everytime I see one.”
“Have fun getting bungeoppang!” Sunghoon calls out. “Maybe find the guts to finally kiss each other in the process!”
You turn around to properly flip the smug motherfucker otherwise known as Park Sunghoon off, cheeks burning. Niki is equally as flushed from next to you, eyes narrowed as he glares at Sunghoon menacingly. Hastily, you pull Niki out of the door before Sunghoon can go ahead and blurt out anything more damaging.
“Are we going to the usual cart?”
Niki nods, reaching into his pocket to flip open his phone. You allow yourself a brief glance in his direction while he’s distracted, taking in his flushed cheeks and sweaty bangs. He really has grown up. It seemed like only yesterday that he stole your crayons from you in first grade, cheeks still round with baby fat, hair styled in that atrocious bowlcut of his that bore an uncanny resemblance to a coconut. It’s hard to believe that he’ll be off to college already by next year.
By the time you’ve reached the bungeoppang cart, the sky has already darkened. You watch as the man pours the dough into the molds and adds in the red bean filling before flipping the pan over to allow it all to cook. Niki watches on with mild interest, although he’s seen it happen a thousand times by now.
The fragrant smell of sizzling dough fills the air as the fish pastries cook.
You sigh.
You’ve really eaten too much bungeoppang these past few years.
When the pastries have fully cooked, the man slips them into a paper bag and you bow your thanks, reaching into your wallet to grab a few banknotes in payment. The man’s eyes flick between you and Niki, taking in your barely touching shoulders.
“By the way,” he says, grinning. “Are you two together? You seem close.”
You balk, cheeks burning as you purposely avoid Niki’s gaze. He gives a short laugh from next to you and shakes his head in denial. “Ah, no. We’re just friends.”
“Ah,” the man says. “I see.”
He hands you the paper bag of bungeoppang and you quickly pull Niki away before the man can say anything else. If Niki catches sight of your flushed cheeks, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he grabs the bag from you and pulls out a bungeoppang, taking a bite of the pastry with a sigh of bliss.
Glancing at you, he holds out the pastry bag.
“Do you want any?”
You shake your head, smiling, although you can’t seem to keep your thoughts from straying back to the man’s words.
God, maybe the two of you were just friends but you wouldn’t mind being something more.
“Whoa, maybe I can choose..” you pause, squinting down at the screen of your laptop. “Bagpiping as my major.”
You grin. “Imagine how Sunoo would react if I actually decided to major in bagpiping.”
Niki sighs from next to you as he scrolls through his phone. “You’re really not going to take this seriously?”
“It’s a coping mechanism, okay?” you snap. “I’d rather think about taking bagpiping as a major than think about actually going to college next year. Besides, it’s easy for you. Your entire life was basically decided the moment you stepped into that dance studio for the very first time at the tender age of 3.”
“I mean, why not take dancing as your major? You’re good at it.”
You grimace.
“I just don’t know if I want to actually major in it or not. I mean, I like it a lot but not at the same level as you. You were practically born to dance.”
There’s a note of envy in your voice. What you wouldn’t give to have Niki’s confidence in his decision-making. If you’re being honest, the very idea of college has you quaking. Normally, you’re the type to postpone any significant life decisions to the last minute, just because you rather not risk accidentally making the wrong choice. But college has forced you to make a multitude of decisions, each and every single one of them being pivotal to your future.
To put it gently, you have come to possess an undying hatred for college applications. Even just the thought of the countless college pamphlets sprawled across your desk in your room makes your stomach hurt.
“I mean, you can always change your major if you don’t like it,” Niki reasons, glancing up from his phone to look at you. “It’s not like your life would be ruined forever if you accidentally chose the wrong major.”
“But I want to make the right decision from the start!” you protest. “I don’t want to go through all the trouble of starting a major just to realize I dislike it.”
Niki shrugs and looks back down on his phone. Leaning forward, you catch a glimpse of his screen and let out a huff of exasperation.
“Care to explain why you’re scrolling through the #softcats hashtag on TikTok instead of studying like you promised your mom you would?”
“I’m taking a break!” Niki protests, tilting the screen of his phone away from you. “I get migraines if I stare at my physics textbook for too long!”
“Bitch, the physics exam is tomorrow and you still haven’t finished studying the first chapter,” you sneer. “Hopefully your mom won’t beat your ass too badly when you come home with your 68 just like last time.”
“Yah, that was one time! Besides, this exam hardly even matters, especially since the finals are coming up in less than a month.”
You roll your eyes and wave your hand dismissively. “Whatever. It’s not like I care if you fail physics.”
He sighs but flips open his textbook anyways. Knowing him, he’ll probably give up on studying in a matter of a few hours in favor of scrolling through some more cat Tiktoks. Even so, you doubt that he won’t manage to pass the exam. Despite that one time that he got a 68 on a calculus test, he’s always been a talented student.
Your phone buzzes from next to you, vibrating with a notification from the groupchat.
[4:56 pm] heeseung: sunghoon just told me that he wants to major in bagpiping can someone please come over and talk some sense into him
You let out a short laugh. “Sunghoon wants to major in bagpiping too! It’s not just me!”
“Sunghoon probably gave up altogether at this point,” Niki snorts. “Besides, he’s got a whole career in ice skating ahead of him. He doesn’t need to worry about his college and major.”
That’s true. Sunghoon could probably get into the Olympics with his ice skating if he really tried.
[4:57 pm] ngl i’m kind of tempted to major in bagpiping too [4:57 pm] sunghoon: see !! it’s not just me !! y/n if u major in bagpiping we can be bagpiping buddies !!! [4:58 pm] assuming that we get into the same college, that is [4:58 pm] sunghoon: god why would u even MENTION college the very idea is gna make me sick
There are some times where you think it’s more than plausible that you and Sunghoon were soulmates in your past lives.
“Wow,” Jay remarks after Sunoo pauses to take a breath during his long speech about how disappointing The Eternals was as a Marvel movie. “I never thought you could speak so passionately about anything other than mint chocolate ice cream.”
In spite of the overwhelming amount of homework and college applications senior year throws your way, you still have to admit that there are benefits to being a senior. The most prominent of which being the fact that you’ve been able to spend a lot of time around the rest of your friends, especially Niki.
Maybe it’s the fact that you’ve worked your asses off for the past three years in highschool or maybe it’s just the fact that this year will be your final year together as a group, but all your parents seem to have made a mutual agreement to ease up a bit on the studying to allow for you to spend more time together as a group.
You suppose that’s why you find yourself sitting on the floor of Jungwon’s apartment, listening intently as Sunoo goes on and on about how mediocre The Eternals was. Jake had originally been the one to propose the idea of having everyone make a short speech regarding the things they learned during the time they spent together as a group to commemorate your friendship over the years as well as to celebrate your upcoming graduation. It wasn’t a bad idea, you admit, but ever since Jungwon came up and performed Tiktok dances as his speech, things kind of just went to shit.
Jake looks like he regrets ever even mentioning his idea in the first place as Sunoo rants about how Ikaris and Sersi had zero chemistry as the main couple, even going so far as to pull up some random GIF on his phone to emphasize his point. The majority of you haven’t even bothered watching The Eternals, and the ones that have really can’t bring themselves to care, but Sunoo seems to have waited his entire life for this opportunity so you don’t bother breaking it to him that Niki has fallen asleep about halfway through his speech and Heeseung has been subtly scrolling through Instagram for the past 5 minutes by now.
When Sunoo finally wraps up his speech, thoroughly winded from venting for 20 minutes straight (although he still finds the strength to smack a sleeping Niki hard on the shoulder and scold him for falling asleep), a silence settles throughout the apartment. For a moment, you all sit there until Jay abruptly clears his throat. “So… I guess this is our final year together, huh?”
“You just had to say it out loud,” Jungwon sighs.
“Someone had to say it!”
Niki shifts from next to you, stretching forward to rest his head in your lap. You freeze for a moment, tensing from underneath Niki, and desperately hope that no one notices.
Of course, they do, anyway. Heeseung catches your gaze and grins at you while raising his eyebrows suggestively, tipping his head towards the sleepy Niki lying in your lap. You mouth at him to fuck off, glaring at him menacingly. If the others notice, they say nothing, although they exchange glances between each other.
There’s another long pause where everyone just stares at you and Niki for a long moment before Jungwon finally speaks up.
“I can’t believe it’s all going to be over in like, 3 months.”
“It seems like yesterday that I first met you guys,” Jake shakes his head. “And now we’ll be in college next year.”
Apparently, even Jake finds the idea of college intimidating, which is comforting considering the fact that he’s probably one of the smartest people you know.
Jay groans and buries his face in his hands, evidently put off by the thought of college. You can’t blame him. Niki chuckles from your lap and you feel your stomach flip at the sound of his laughter. “Still scared of the thought of college?”
Jay glares at Niki, eyes narrowed. “Maybe. Just like you’re scared of confessing to Y/N just because—”
You hurriedly cut him off with a nervous laugh before he can deal anymore damage. Niki quickly sits up, raising his head from your lap to glower at Jay and Jungwon quickly steps in before the two of them start bickering.
You can’t say it doesn’t bother you. These little comments your friends randomly throw in about you and Niki, as if it were a universally accepted fact that the two of you belonged together. The little jabs Jungwon randomly throws your way about “growing the balls to finally kiss Niki instead of sighing over him all the fucking time” or the teasing grins Sunoo shoots you whenever you’re within a ten foot radius of Niki. It almost seems as if everyone knows of your massive crush on Niki except for Niki himself, which is a little more disconcerting than you’d like to admit.
After all, haven’t you been obvious enough? The iced americanos you leave by his desk at school whenever he falls asleep in class, the sweater you lent to him that one time he complained of being cold that you never bothered taking back. You wonder if it’s just because he’s impossibly slow when it comes to love, or if it’s because he really doesn’t care.
You desperately want it to be the former.
“By the way,” Niki says from next to you as the two of you stretch for dance practice. “Who are you partnering up with for the group project?”
You pause, turning to stare at Niki. “Partnering up? Isn’t it a solo project?”
“No, dumbass,” he sighs. “It’s a group project. We’re doing it in duos.”
Fuck.
“Oh my god,” you groan. “I’m so fucked. I didn’t know we were partnering up! Everyone’s probably got partners already.”
“Ah,” he says, reaching up a hand to touch his cheek, a nervous tic he’s developed over the years. “Well, then, partner up with m—”
Before he can finish the sentence, you feel someone tap you on the back. Turning around, you jump at the sight of Hwang Hyunjin standing before you.
Hyunjin’s handsome. Catlike eyes, godly physique, and a contagious laugh. If you didn’t already have the fattest crush on Niki, you’d most definitely have a crush on Hyunjin instead.
“Y/N, have you found a partner for the project yet?”
“Ah,” you say, slowly. You spare a sideways glance at Niki but find him looking down, eyes trained to the ground. “No, I haven’t.”
His eyes brighten as he smiles at you. “Well, do you want to partner up with me? I don’t think we’ve ever gotten the chance to work together yet.”
You pause.
You and Niki have been dance partners for as long as you can remember, but you’re not exactly against the idea of working with someone new for a change. Besides, maybe it would be beneficial for both of you if you took a small break from each other. Especially for you, you think. You really need to sort out your feelings over Niki.
So you smile and nod. “Sure, Hyunjin. That sounds great.”
Hyunjin grins back at you, eyes curved into crescent moons. You swallow down the sudden feeling of guilt that makes its way up your throat when Niki abruptly turns to walk away, head hung low.
“I mean,” Niki complains, taking another sip of his melon bubble tea with cheese foam. “What’s so great about Hyunjin anyway?”
“I don’t know,” Jungwon hums. “I think he seems like a pretty nice guy. Plus, he’s a great dancer.”
Niki turns to glare at him. “Can you please just agree with me for once instead of simping over Hyunjin? He’s not even that good of a dancer.”
(That was a lie, actually. Even Niki’s got to admit that Hyunjin’s a talented dancer.)
Jungwon sighs.
“Well, what do you want me to say? I don’t think he’s a bad dancer, and he seems like a nice guy to hang out with. He even helped me with one of my choreos when I was having a hard time.”
Niki scoffs and stirs his straw through his bubble tea moodily.
“If you’re mad that Y/N chose to partner up with Hyunjin instead of you, you can just say it, you know. I can already tell, anyway.”
“I’m not mad!” Niki protests unconvincingly. “I just don’t think Hyunjin’s an adequate dance partner for Y/N!”
Even so, he finds his thoughts constantly straying to the image of you and Hyunjin together. He can’t help but feel annoyed at the very idea; after all, you and him have been dance partners for forever.
“Whatever,” Niki mumbles. “It’s not like I care.”
“Jealousy is a disease,” Jungwon informs him.
Niki throws a dirty napkin in his direction.
“By the way,” Hyunjin says, smiling brightly at you. “I accidentally bought two tickets to the newest Doctor Strange movie instead of just one, and I’ve been wondering if you wanted to come with me. It’s this Friday.”
You flush. “This Friday?”
Hyunjin nods eagerly.
You had originally planned on going ice skating with Niki this Friday. You hesitate for a moment, unsure of how to respond, and Hyunjin’s face falls in disappointment.
“It’s fine if you don’t want to go,” he says. “I’m not trying to force you or anything, I just thought it would be nice to go see a movie together.”
“Ah, it’s not that,” you say hastily. “It’s just that.. I’ve already got plans this Friday with friends.”
“Oh, I see,” Hyunjin says.
You nod, almost awkwardly. For a moment, the two of you stand there in tense silence before your phone vibrates in your backpocket.
[6:42 pm] jake: u should come over to the dance studio. niki’s acting kind of off today
You grimace, before glancing back up at Hyunjin. “Do you mind if I cut our meeting short today? Something came up.”
Hyunjin nods. “Yeah, it’s fine. I’ll text you a good time to meet up again sometime.”
You nod your thanks and quickly exit the building, quickly making your way to the dance studio just a few blocks away. When you enter the building, you find Jake sitting by one of the tables, eyes glued to his physics book.
“Where’s Niki?” you ask, looking around.
“He’s in Dance Studio 3,” Jake says, without looking up from his book (because he for some reason enjoys torturing himself to an extent that he’d voluntarily study physics). “Sulking.”
“Why is he sulking?” you groan. “What did I do wrong now?”
Jake looks up to stare at you, studying you for a moment before shaking his head. “Do you really not know?”
“No, should I?”
Jake shakes his head again and tilts his head towards the dance studio. “Just go in and talk to him, I’m sure you’ll sort it out.
When you slip into the dance studio, you find Niki sitting on the ground, back pressed to the mirror as he scrawls on a piece of paper— most likely choreographing. He doesn’t look up when you approach.
“Niki.”
He pointedly ignores you, eyes trained to his lap.
“Niki.”
When he doesn’t look up for the second time, you squat down next to him, gazing at him quietly. “Hyunjin asked if I wanted to go see the newest Doctor Strange movie with him this Friday.”
Niki flinches as if you slapped him across the face and finally looks up, eyes hard and slightly glassy.
“Ah,” he says, slowly. “That sounds like fun. I hope you have a really fucking grand time with Hyunjin, your new dance partner, since apparently I’m not good enough for you.”
You wince. “I never said—”
“You don’t have to say it for me to know it,” he snaps. For a moment, his indifferent facade falls apart and you catch a glimpse of the hurt written across his face, although it quickly fades away into anger. Scoffing, he looks back down to the paper and picks up his pen, preparing to continue whatever choreography he was previously working on.
You quickly grab his hand before he can uncap the pen, gazing at him beseechingly. He freezes, staring down at the intertwined hands lying in his lap in surprise.
“Niki, please hear me out,” you beg. “Besides, I told Hyunjin I couldn’t go.”
That grabs his attention. He stares at you, eyes wide with shock. “Why?”
“We were going to go ice skating on Friday together, remember?”
He doesn’t reply, but his eyes soften a fraction of a degree.
“Just.. hear me out, okay?” you plead.
You take his silence as a yes.
Taking a deep breath, you think of the past few years you’ve spent falling in love with Niki. The countless days you have spent by his side in anguish, too afraid to confess in fear of ruining your friendship entirely. But you have come to learn that there are some things worth ruining and your friendship with Niki just happens to be one of them. Because there’s this aching in your chest whenever you set your eyes on him and the lightest dusting of freckles across his cheeks from going strawberry picking with you just a few weeks ago and every fiber of your being feels programmed to adore Nishimura Riki, with his stupidly attractive bangs and his strange obsession with bungeoppang. Because there’s this sensation that consumes you wholly whenever you’re around him, this weird feeling that yeah, this is it. I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of eternity by his side.
You clear your throat.
“Remember when we went hiking with the rest of the group a few months ago? On that mountain?”
Niki’s eyes flash with recognition, although he doesn’t say a word.
“Sunoo had black hair at the time, I think.”
“I clearly remember him having pink hair.”
“No, he had—” you clear your throat. “Whatever. That’s unimportant. What I’m trying to say is, we were all so tired and sweaty when we were hiking and everyone was so annoyed at Jungwon because he had forced us to go hiking in the first place. And just when we were about to turn back, we finally reached the summit of the mountain and everyone just fucking froze there for like, a good 30 seconds because the view was just that gorgeous. And then we all took off our coats and just stood there, all sweaty and exhausted, admiring the scenery before Jake started chasing Jay around and then we all just started laughing and—”
“Remind me why you’re telling me this again?”
“Shut up,” you snap. “I’m getting there. So anyways, we were all fooling around on top of this mountain in front of this gorgeous view and you had your camera with you so you were walking around snapping pictures of everyone. And Sunghoon kept on complaining because he thought your camera made him look way uglier than he actually was and everyone kept on bursting into laughter because Heeseung couldn’t stop laughing for the picture and he kept on doing that thing he does where he opens his mouth like a fucking frog to keep from laughing except it wasn’t working and we were holding hands—”
“I don’t ever recall us holding hands.”
“Well, I do, okay? Now, stop interrupting. So we were holding hands because I had complained that my hands were cold and I just remember thinking that like, even if college tears us apart and even if it’s all just downhill from here on out, at least I had this memory, you know? At least I had this memory of all of us gathered together on this mountain, all sweaty and shit, just feeling on top of the fucking world. And I also remember thinking that if I could freeze time and just die in this moment, I totally fucking would. Because, like, we were holding hands for fucks’s sake. And you were smiling at me all happy and— God, I just remember feeling like this must be my most beautiful moment in life. Up there on that mountain, holding hands with you, laughing my ass off just because Heeseung couldn’t stop cracking up to take a picture.”
Niki’s eyes have softened by the time you’ve finished. You’re all out of breath and anxious, gazing at him quietly. ”What I mean to say is, I’ve liked you for forever now, okay? And Hyunjin’s not going to get in the way of that.”
“You could have just said those last 2 sentences and been done with it. You didn’t have to go through that whole ass essay, you know?”
You roll your eyes. “I just poured out my fucking heart to you and that’s what you tell me?”
Niki ducks his head to hide the smile tugging on his lips.
“Hm, I don’t know,” he says, feigning indecision. “I normally would have accepted your confession but given the recent circumstances with Hyunjin…”
You sigh and decide to resort to Plan B. Which is, to say, just fuck it all and go for it.
Leaning forward, you cup Niki’s jaw and press your lips against his own. For a brief moment, you feel Niki tense from underneath you, all rigid muscle and smooth skin, but he relaxes into the kiss almost instantly, reaching out an arm to hook it around your waist, pulling you closer. You sigh into his lips and lean into his touch when he reaches up a hand to run a hand through your hair, impossibly warm as he tightens his arms around you.
You eventually pull back after a long moment, leaning back to sit on your heels, panting. “Do you believe me now?” you breathe, staring at Niki.
He laughs and nods as he leans forward, reaching for you. Just when you’re about to wrap your arms around him (and possibly kiss some more), the door bursts open and the rest of the group jostles in. You sigh as the air fills with cheers and catcalls. You should have known they’d do something like this.
Jake slaps Niki on the back so hard in congratulations that he falls forward and most likely would have face planted right into the wooden floorboards of the dance studio had Sunghoon not caught him by the waist just in time while Heeseung grins at you almost triumphantly, as if he was the one that single handedly brought you and Niki together.
Jungwon nudges Jay’s shoulder. “Yah, hyung, you owe me 20,000 won.”
Jay grumbles but reaches into his pocket anyways for his wallet to hand Jungwon a handful of banknotes.
The realization hits you a few moments later.
You narrow your eyes. “Were you two.. betting on whether or not me and Niki would end up together?”
Jungwon grins and holds up his handful of banknotes. “It was worth betting on!”
You decide to postpone beating the shit out of Yang Jungwon for another day, just because you don’t want to ruin this one. Especially since you just found the guts to finally confess to Nishimura Riki after years of pining.
You lean into Niki’s touch when he pulls you down to the floor next to him and presses a kiss to your cheekbone, lips curving into a smile against your skin. Sunghoon lets out a very loud (and very exaggerated) groan of disgust while Jay yanks out his phone to snap a picture of you and Niki together (most likely for blackmail) and you can’t help but laugh at it all because it’s been a very long time since things felt so right. An even longer time since you’ve felt this happy.
And yeah, you’ve still got a bunch of overdues to finish off tonight and you’re still terrified at the very thought of college but even so, with Niki pressed to your side like this as he snakes his arms around your waist, you can’t help but feel as if you’d gladly face whatever the future throws at you as long as he stays right here by your side.
꒰ 💭 ꒱ OH, NIKI YOU’RE SO FINE! ˖ ⌨︎ ◞❪니키❫
— SYNOPSIS ୨୧ ! Lesson learned ! never ever accept a dare from Heesung! Dared to tweet about how attractive your best friend was, you miss-typed ‘m’ with ‘n’ who apparently turned out to be the name of some guy in the basketball team? Oh how embarrassing!
or in which 𓂅 nishimura riki woke up to a sudden paragraph long compliment from his crush (who didn’t even knew he existed)
PART 1/2 OF THE LOVE LASTING DREAM SERIES
— with love on the line ! 𖥻⏱️ ぃ ˑ (pairing) non idol!nishimura riki x non idol!fem reader — 𓄹 ࣪ ִֶָ 🧂 ࣪ ▸
「 GENRE 」 ! STRANGERS to LOVERS, friends? to lovers, he fell first she fell harder, fluff, crack, highschool au, smau w writen parts, kinda one sided crush typa thing.
— the risk, are u willing to take it ? 𖥻🥛ぃ ˑ (featuring) enhypen, winter aespa, beomgyu txt, jeongin skz, minho skz, etc — 𓄹 ࣪ ִֶָ 🎯 ࣪ ▸
「 WARNINGS 」 ! cursing (ofc), denial denial denial!!, anxiety, jealousy, overthinking, angst (w happy ending), dying jokes, kys jokes, and those kinda stuffs
「 NOTES 」 ! This is NOT how i view these idols! this smau is js for fun and crack ykyk as well as js for fictional purposes only! feel free to send asks to talk abt this smau w me!!!
( 💬 means there r written parts! )
NOTICE ! please DO NOT spam like, bc it will shadowban me
「 TAGLIST 」 ! CLOSED
status COMPLETE ! 25/04/23 — 23/06/23 ﹟╳×
CHAPTER INDEX ! ˖ ࣪⭑
⊹ ˚. PROFiLES . . ! ONE ⋮ TWO ⸱៰ ͘ ࣭⸰
▹ SIDE A ᶻz
001. omg hit tweet
002. he can pull??
003. u still love me right?
004. let me be delulu
005. lover with a $ sign
006. he’s kinda??
007. help i’m dying here
008. lemme make it up to u
009. careful w ur feelings
010. living the dream
011. just us?
012. ur turning into heeseung
013. cute (friendly) date 💬
014. kay why es
015. watch me?
016. what is this betrayal
017. ykw i get the hype 💬
018. jake’s cupid era
019. sunoo is my rolemodel
020. your biggest supporter 💬
▹ SIDE B ᶻz
021. too much?
022. must’ve been why
023. like she played me
024. sleep well baby riki
025. sunoo has a plan… 💬
026. hi pretty girl
027. not now, not ever 💬
028. what are you planning
029. something feels wrong
030. did i ruin it all?
031. he makes me feel content
032. don’t you get it?
033. i’m sorry
034. your pretty girl
035. you’ll always be my winner
Heeseung spinoff : it’s a wrap!
THE END !!
© aernx 2023 / do not steal, copy, translate — hope you enjoy my works! first smau kinda nervous!! let me know if you have any suggestions !
𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐃𝐔𝐎 !
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲. after spending a little too much money on genshin due to his gacha addiction, riki is banned from playing genshin for a month. during this time he's introduced to identity v courtesy to his friend lee heesung who is an avid player of the game. in the game he meets a girl who he believes is the love of his life.
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. student!riki x fem!reader : gamer!riki x gamer!reader
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞. smau, fluff, strangers to friends to lovers
part of the [ 𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐎 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 ! ] series
AUTHOR'S NOTE : this is my first time making something like this so please be patient with me! i would appreciate any tips and help given cause i don't really know what im doing most of the time... IF ANYONE ELSE PLAYS IDV OMG PLEASE BE MY FRIEND 🙏 i need more friends that play idv that likes kpop at the same time qwq
NOW PLAYING . . . i'll be your rank duo!
ⓘ IDV rats ◡ᯅ◡ GAGW ◡ᯅ◡ extra info ◡ᯅ◡ gameplay ⓘ
001. competitive games are hell
002. delete geisha from the game
003. i hate newgens
004. i love merc mains
005. what's a sui?
006. never play batter again please
007. you are NOT spiderman lil bro
008. where did all your money go?
009. a new rank duo!
010. even luca luck can't save you
011. mark's favorite
012. cafe meetup
013. loser riki allegations?!
014. oh dude he's flirting!
015. loser ways
016. best duo couple!
017. you guys make me SICK
018. get this lovey-dovey shit out my tl (end)
019. my favorite moments with you (special chapter/extra)
taglist. @honeychocos @who-tf-soddhi @wonsboo @rikisgeef @cinnabells @jiiyen @manaah02 @kozumesphone @chiaki-nanami-aesthetic @vixialuvs @roarr-ki @mars101 @ddolleri @doublebunv @rikikiynikilcykiki
(bold can't be tagged)
⭑ ASK OR COMMENT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST
Patched Hearts ♡ : Masterlist
Synopsis: Yn gets heartbroken by her ex and can’t seem to move on and Niki makes it a mission to make her to move on, and possibly make her fall in love with him
Pairing: non-idolbsf!Niki x Fem!Reader
Featuring: Txt Huening Kai, Nwjns Haerin, Kep1er Hikaru, Xikers Jinsik, &Team Taki
Genre: Best friends to lovers, crack, fluff, angst
Status: completed
Started: Sept. 11th Ended: Oct. 31st
Taglist: closed
Warnings: swearing, kys/kms jokes, individual warnings will be added if needed
Notes: Another SMAU!! Yes this time for Niki! Let’s hope I don’t slack on this like I did somewhat with The Speckled diary. SOME CHAPTERS WILL ALSO BE WRITTEN SO EXCUSE THE TERRIBLE WRITING!
Profiles: Fairy Godmothers 🧚♀️ , Mental asylum
Chapters:
1. Blank stare
2. No shade needed
3. Broken backs (and hearts)
4. Quack 🦆
5. Making moves
6. Zoomies
7. Oof (Roblox sound)
8. A-T-T-E-N-T-I-ON attention is what I want
9. Love.
10. Rizzler of Rizzers
11. Maybe next time?
12. Sideline
13. Jokes and tears
14. Sorry…
15. One chance please written: wc-300
16. Hehe 😜
17. Never mind then….
18. Oh not her again written: wc-407
19. Old sad people
20. Fix it or I will
21. DRAG HER
22. Back to the beginning
23. BABY GIRL 😩
24. Children calm down
25. Better sleep with one eye open
26. For realz
27. About damn time
28. Love story written: wc- 377
29. Bagged her
30. My one and only!
End
© ynsvnte 2023
𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐃𝐔𝐎 !
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲. after spending a little too much money on genshin due to his gacha addiction, riki is banned from playing genshin for a month. during this time he's introduced to identity v courtesy to his friend lee heesung who is an avid player of the game. in the game he meets a girl who he believes is the love of his life.
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. student!riki x fem!reader : gamer!riki x gamer!reader
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞. smau, fluff, strangers to friends to lovers
part of the [ 𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐎 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 ! ] series
AUTHOR'S NOTE : this is my first time making something like this so please be patient with me! i would appreciate any tips and help given cause i don't really know what im doing most of the time... IF ANYONE ELSE PLAYS IDV OMG PLEASE BE MY FRIEND 🙏 i need more friends that play idv that likes kpop at the same time qwq
NOW PLAYING . . . i'll be your rank duo!
ⓘ IDV rats ◡ᯅ◡ GAGW ◡ᯅ◡ extra info ◡ᯅ◡ gameplay ⓘ
001. competitive games are hell
002. delete geisha from the game
003. i hate newgens
004. i love merc mains
005. what's a sui?
006. never play batter again please
007. you are NOT spiderman lil bro
008. where did all your money go?
009. a new rank duo!
010. even luca luck can't save you
011. mark's favorite
012. cafe meetup
013. loser riki allegations?!
014. oh dude he's flirting!
015. real or imagination
more to be added...
[ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 ]
taglist. @honeychocos @who-tf-soddhi @wonsboo @rikisgeef @cinnabells @jiiyen @manaah02 @kozumesphone @chiaki-nanami-aesthetic @vixialuvs @roarr-ki @mars101 @ddolleri
(bold can't be tagged)
⭑ ASK OR COMMENT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST
this is so cute!!! please stop!!! (don’t stop!) 🫶🫶🫶
🫂 ｡ﾟ⊹ you’ve built a home in my heart — a ni ki smau！ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 m. list !
— ni ki x reader !!
:: u got up at 2 am to get some snacks at the convenience store down the street. for your inconvenience, you quietly opened the door to meet a peculiar sight, someone trying to sleep on the floor across the hallway because their roommate has their gf over .. ?
“ i guess i'll lend you my couch for the night. ” ☆
pairing // non - idol ! ni ki x non - idol ! reader
— i mostly used @ sullendin on ig for yn !!
warnings ? swearing, kys jokes, playful bullying, nothing much atm !!
genre ++ mutual pinning | love epiphany | strangers to friends to lovers | laughs at everything x enjoys making them laugh | sarcastic x sarcastic | crack | fluff !!
status : ongoing !
taglist : open !
profiles :: hoe life or no life || enhypen
01. microwaved strawberries…?📝
02. mission ‘find his socials’ is a go !!
03. munch munch munncchh?? {pt1}
-> 03. munch munch munncchh?? {pt2}
04. a pretty stranger .. 📝
05. the feminine urge to frustrate a man
06. neymar jr #10 📝
07. goodnight lover ( loser ** )
08. not cheating on u yet
09. playing dumb ? 📝
10. drunk confessions 📝
11. nishimura dumbass riki📝
12. nishimura tloml riki ^///^
13. swimming beauty 📝
14. beating the bitch boy allegations
15. who's the bitch boy now ?! 📝
16.
adventures of ynki ‹𝟹 — YBAHIMH xtras !!
ni ki against the world ;c
drama queen ni_ki …
expose thread (GONE WRONG!!)
the freakcident!!
🫂 ｡ﾟ⊹ you’ve built a home in my heart — a ni ki smau！ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 m. list !
— ni ki x reader !!
:: u got up at 2 am to get some snacks at the convenience store down the street. for your inconvenience, you quietly opened the door to meet a peculiar sight, someone trying to sleep on the floor across the hallway because their roommate has their gf over .. ?
“ i guess i'll lend you my couch for the night. ” ☆
pairing // non - idol ! ni ki x non - idol ! reader
— i mostly used @ sullendin on ig for yn !!
warnings ? swearing, kys jokes, playful bullying, nothing much atm !!
genre ++ mutual pinning | love epiphany | strangers to friends to lovers | laughs at everything x enjoys making them laugh | sarcastic x sarcastic | crack | fluff !!
status : ongoing !
taglist : open !
profiles :: hoe life or no life || enhypen
01. microwaved strawberries…?📝
02. mission ‘find his socials’ is a go !!
03. munch munch munncchh?? {pt1}
-> 03. munch munch munncchh?? {pt2}
04. a pretty stranger .. 📝
05. the feminine urge to frustrate a man
06. neymar jr #10 📝
07. goodnight lover ( loser ** )
08. not cheating on u yet
09. playing dumb ? 📝
10. drunk confessions 📝
11. nishimura dumbass riki📝
12. nishimura tloml riki ^///^
13. swimming beauty 📝
14. beating the bitch boy allegations
15. who's the bitch boy now ?! 📝
16.
adventures of ynki ‹𝟹 — YBAHIMH xtras !!
ni ki against the world ;c
drama queen ni_ki …
expose thread (GONE WRONG!!)
the freakcident!!
Mr. Yang, Is that you?: Masterlist
Synopsis: You were playing Roblox until you started having beef with one player that goes by the name “mryangslays193” determined to beat the player in the game. What happens if you go to class and find out it’s your crush Yang Jungwon who is the owner of the account ..?
Pairing: crush!jungwon x fem!reader
Featuring: Sunoo & Niki, Zb1 Gyuvin, kep1er youngeun, weeekly jaehee, IVE Liz.
Genre: classmates to friends to lovers, crack, fluff, angst, Roblox, smau, college au
Warnings: swearing, mean jokes, teasing, kms/kys jokes, individual warnings will be added.
Status: completed
Started: March 7 Ended: June 6
Taglist: Closed
Notes: hey… 😏 Roblox theme bc Roblox 4 life. Umm I just finished my last smau that took 3 MONTHSSSS (shouldn’t have) ummm I excited where this one goes and I hope it doesn’t take long like ttsd 🙄 written chapters like usual
Profiles: BADDIES 🤺 , SHEva love club, privs
Chapters:
Preview
1. Sleek the weak
2. AYO WHAT THE-
3. Mr Yang Yang better watch out
4. He wants MEEE
5. HE IS WHO!?!
6. Nah I’m out
7. Crack and Snap
8. Yandere era
9. Uh oh stinky
10. On my soul
11. So you’ll admit it?
12. RAHH (in smol)
13. Bro needs to be stopped
14. I.h.h.a
15. NEW HAIR NEW TEE NEW MAN!? — written and smau
16. won = sad
17. ALPHA!! 🤡💀
18. Please tell me.. — written
19. NO NOT YOU
20. EYES WIDE OPEN!!
21. Back up 🗣️🔥
22. Punch a guy
23. Roblox 2gether
24. nervy and nerdy — written
25. If it had been me-
26. PAUSE HUH-
27. Mr. Yang Yang approved
28. Bittersweat — written
29. Forever and 4vr
30. good 2 know 👍
End
© ynsvnte copyright 2024
꒰ THAT’S YOUR BOYFRIEND? ꒱ — nishimura riki
SYNOPSIS. it’s been three months since you met your now, online boyfriend, riki. he’s so sweet, matches your humor, but you have yet to see his face. your friends see this as a major red flag but you know riki told you he is just shy. due to this your friends joke that you could very well be dating a catfish. but what happens when riki finally sends you a picture of himself and your friend reverse searches the image to be ni-ki from enhypen?
PAIRING. idol bf! nishimura riki x fem! reader GENRE. smau written est. relationship crack fluff NOTES & WARNINGS. faceclaim haneul kiof kms/kys jokes profanity + warnings for each chapter
🗯️ EXTRA PENG NOTE. this is my first smau so hopefully it’s funny & no posting schedule !
this is in no way a reflection of any of these idols !! SPAM LIKING RULE STILL APPLIES !! plz don’t spam like chapters it will get you blocked.
PROFILES ; meowzers enhypen
CHAPTERS ; ( subject to changes )
00. she’s so beautiful 01. stop negativity 02. omg what if he’s british 03. i’d love to meet you soon ( + written ) 04. when did riki get cuffed ? 05. omg rcta king 06. heeseung from enhypen 07. invading enhatwt 08. he wants to meet ?! 09. On my way! to die ( + written )
ON HOLD . . . TAGLIST IS CLOSED.
i am so curious what happened between them!?
SYNOPSIS! TRBL, the new rookie girl group, is taking over the kpop industry. KL learns quickly that being the leader means you have the most influence. Because she is the sister of ENHYPEN's Sunoo, the ex-girlfriend of ENHYPEN's Jungwon, and an ex-SM trainee, KL finds herself in scandals before the group even debuts. Will TRBL overcome the drama and climb to the top or will KL's past take over their success?
idol!yang jungwon x fem idol!oc
STATUS! ongoing - updates every wednesday & friday @ 9pm CST
WARNING! lots of vulgar language and immature topics; teenagers being teenagers
GENRE! fluff, lil angst, exs to friends to lovers, love triangle/square, SLOWburn
profiles!
trbl
enhypen
friends
chapters!
1! WHO CHEERED!?
1.1! DSORDR
2! BITCHHHH YOU DID IT!!! + written
3! oh.
4! my little parasite + written
5! patient #4 has escaped!!!
5.1! you’re actually sick
6! good ole nepotism huh
6.1! HATERS GON HATE
7! everyone is fighting
8! nvm its not okay and im not okay
8.1! always here for you
9! but she’s crazy
9.1! 4 months were not wasted! + written
10! have a safe flight!!
10.1! WE MADE IT!!!
11! its the most wonderful time of the year
12! hey princess
13! FAWKKKKKKK
14! would that be so bad? + written
14.1! welp.
15! it’s just a publicity stunt + written
16! coming soon
TAGLIST! open <3 (purple means i can't tag you)
@sthinqsz @hwalllllllelujah @lovelymura @ja4hyvn @wonamour @tomorrowbymoa-together @luviehyck @chloexc @w0nslvr @electrobutterfly @kgneptun @nikiswifiee @heeseungspookie @jwonistic @pshwrldd @enhabooks @noname-123s-things
to be added please send an ask, dm, or leave a note!
author's note! hello! i have moved and am starting university so now i have more time to write!! expect weekly updates on wednesdays and fridays! enjoy!! <3
SYNOPSIS! TRBL, the new rookie girl group, is taking over the kpop industry. KL learns quickly that being the leader means you have the most influence. Because she is the sister of ENHYPEN's Sunoo, the ex-girlfriend of ENHYPEN's Jungwon, and an ex-SM trainee, KL finds herself in scandals before the group even debuts. Will TRBL overcome the drama and climb to the top or will KL's past take over their success?
idol!yang jungwon x fem idol!oc
STATUS! ongoing - updates every wednesday & friday @ 9pm CST
WARNING! lots of vulgar language and immature topics; teenagers being teenagers
GENRE! fluff, lil angst, exs to friends to lovers, love triangle/square, SLOWburn
profiles!
trbl
enhypen
friends
chapters!
1! WHO CHEERED!?
1.1! DSORDR
2! BITCHHHH YOU DID IT!!! + written
3! oh.
4! my little parasite + written
5! patient #4 has escaped!!!
5.1! you’re actually sick
6! good ole nepotism huh
6.1! HATERS GON HATE
7! everyone is fighting
8! nvm its not okay and im not okay
8.1! always here for you
9! but she’s crazy
9.1! 4 months were not wasted! + written
10! have a safe flight!!
10.1! WE MADE IT!!!
11! its the most wonderful time of the year
12! hey princess
13! FAWKKKKKKK
14! would that be so bad? + written
14.1! welp.
15! it’s just a publicity stunt + written
16! coming soon
TAGLIST! open <3 (purple means i can't tag you)
@sthinqsz @hwalllllllelujah @lovelymura @ja4hyvn @wonamour @tomorrowbymoa-together @luviehyck @chloexc @w0nslvr @electrobutterfly @kgneptun @nikiswifiee @heeseungspookie @jwonistic @pshwrldd @enhabooks @noname-123s-things
to be added please send an ask, dm, or leave a note!
author's note! hello! i have moved and am starting university so now i have more time to write!! expect weekly updates on wednesdays and fridays! enjoy!! <3
OPERATION: LOCKDOWN - 011 ! the after party
pairing -> gamer!riki x beauty influencer!fem reader
synopsis -> you hated gamers. riki hated ulzzang’s (except you). so after weeks of fighting to be the top streamer, (and riki’s poor attempts to charm you), he suggests to collaborate so you could both be number one. you tried to keep it professional. but the more time you spent producing content together, the more you realized just how much nishimura riki really meant to you.
previous <> masterlist <> next
networks ! @en-diaries
taglist ! (bold = cannot be tagged) @yvjw @chaevibes @sakiimeo @allforhee @streamluckybyriize @soobinbunnie5 @lalaisve @xyzyx01 @goldenmellow @ariluvssssss100 @brideslit @t0asterexe @ikeujyn @jaemified @chiaki-nanami-aesthetic @sirens-dreams @rikisgeef @i03jae @iheartshopping @wensurr @heartheejake @moonpri @nshmra-on-air @heeseungismymanz @st1llm0nster @ningx2stan @onlyhyunjin @d-dilemma @jjongarlic02 @wonkixo @kkamismom12 @jiyeons-closet @pshbites @haechansbbg @aeminju @xoxol3a @rairaiblog @kang-ulzzang @riksaes @kittsnewera @enhajungwonheart @madebylilia @orimuraa @heeheeswifey @artstaeh @r1kification @pinksdump @joyzluvr @academiq @sincerelyrki @tocupid
enhypen have been overworked and mistreated for several years now, and im tired of seeing these boys exhausted, hurt, sick. if you are a true fan, if you really care about these boys, please please boycott - don't buy, don't stream. we need to send a clear message to belift.
the reason belift are overworking them is because they want money. if you keep streaming and buying enhypen content, you're giving them money, and belift will keep overworking them for more money.
trending hashtags, sending emails, etc is not going to work without action, without threatening their pockets because at the end of the day all these companies care about is money.
please spread the word we have to boycott
CALCU-CRUSH! ♡ p. sunghoon
୨୧ SMAU! SYNOPSIS -› Yeah, Park Sunghoon might be just a little annoying- but hey! at least he can help you get an A in AP CALC, and he will never a crush on you to make things super weird and complicated, right?
୨୧ PAIR -› math tutor!sunghoon x chem nerd! y/n ft. jake and wonyoung
୨୧ GENRE -› highschool au | ୨୧ TROPE -› idiots to lovers
୨୧ INCLUDES -› idk man they're just idiots LOL
୨୧ REN SAYS... me when i don't want to write the written chapter for get better so i create a whole new smau because i finally have gotten around to doing smaus and text posts for enha also nae taught me how to add colors and i havent looked back ever since LOLL thank u user dioll !! alsoo the name is calculus but the lus is replaced with crush its not calc crush its calcucrush !!!!
୨୧ DONE!
PROFILES (powerpuff gals /// mathletes turned baddies)
01 ♡ bombed like the bathrooms
02 ♡ $300 on a kpop ticket
03 ♡ cognitive dissonance
04 ♡ holding hands in rugby stands
05 ♡ operation jacket around shoulders
06 ♡ WRONG JACKET ABORT MISSION
07 ♡ feelings? yea i still have touch
08 ♡ if you want to date her by 40
09 ♡ cured from stupidity sickness
10 ♡ he hits me (his girlfriend)
© all rights are reserved to mygnolia 2024. republished, translated, and/or heavily referenced work will be reported and removed immediately.
୨୧ PERM TAGLIST @dimplewonie send ask or dm to be added!
i will ALWAYS love a figure skating au! ⛸️
twizzle into my heart — nishimura riki
synopsis. Falling in love when your sport is your top priority is hard, and nobody knows this better than you and Nishimura Riki. You two tried to make it work, but things didn't end up like you both wanted it to. But, when you and Riki cross paths again 4 years later at 4 Continents, old feelings resurface, and you find that Nishimura Riki comes twizzling straight into your heart once again.
genre. fluff, angst, exes to friends to lovers, slowburn, figure skating au
warnings. swearing, mentions of injury, riki is 21, reader is 21. both riki and reader compete for japan, set during the 2026/2027 figure skating season
wordcount. 25.4k (whoops)
author’s note. it's finally here :) timh! rikiyn will forever hold a very very special place in my heart and i !!! hope you love them as much as i do :,) here's a playlist i made if you'd like to listen to the songs i listened to while reading !! i hope you all enjoy reading and i love getting feedback and comments so pls lmk ur thoughts on this !! ^_^ i hope you love it
ONE. harder than a quad axel
When it comes to love, Nishimura Riki is no stranger to getting hurt.
Being a competitive athlete whilst trying to find love at the same time is surprisingly hard, he’s realised over his 21 years of existence. Figure skating is his career, it’s his life – but most of the people he’s ever been with never seem to understand the dedication he has for the sport.
Riki thinks that skating is what makes him whole. If he didn’t have the ice, he’d feel like a part of him would be missing.
On his list of priorities, skating comes on top of the podium. Love is left with 2nd place, a silver medal. Nobody he’s ever liked has ever come close to understanding how Riki can’t put love above figure skating.
Nobody until he met you.
He had met you at Junior Nationals 7 years ago, when you were sitting in the stands, watching the women’s free skate. He was sitting next to you, and you had decided to start a conversation with him. He learnt that you were a pairs skater, partnered with Takahashi Keiji, one of Riki’s old friends from primary school.
You two had gotten lost in your conversation, completely forgetting about the performances in front of you. Talking to you was fun, and Riki found that he enjoyed your presence. A lot.
It wasn’t long before you and Riki got closer. Every time that you both had spare time (which, to be fair, wasn’t often), you two would hang out together, going to various cafes and talking for hours and hours on end. You and Riki would also go to arcades, where you watched as he played with multiple claw machines, and he gave you one of the Hello Kitty plushies that he won.
Everyone knew that you and Riki were bound to have developed feelings for each other. It was just a matter of time before you two realised, and when you two finally did, your friends both wasted no time on telling you both to just confess.
Even though you had a feeling that Riki liked you back, you were always too scared to tell him about your feelings. But, when Taki blurted it out in front of the both of you accidentally during a training session, it led to you both confessing your feelings to each other – after all, it was all out in the open now.
You both swear that Taki did it on purpose, but the boy still maintains his innocence.
You two had both established early on in your relationship that your careers were important, and skating was of the utmost importance to the both of you. Riki was elated to have finally found someone who understood how he felt. You two know better than anyone that finding love is hard when figure skating is the most important thing in your life – and you have never felt luckier than to find someone like Nishimura Riki.
Despite spending most of your time training, you and Riki managed to squeeze in dates whenever you both had a free spot in your packed timetable. From going to the arcade, walking around busy shopping malls or relaxing picnics in the park, every single moment you could share with Riki was special.
But then came the transition into seniors.
Competing in seniors added more pressure for the two of you. You two forced yourselves to train more, reducing the little time that you two had to spend together to practically almost none. Even phone calls and text messages between you two were rare – and when Riki had spare time, you were busy, and vice versa. It was clear to your friends that you both did not have any time for your relationship anymore, and the best decision was probably to end it before one of you got hurt.
Riki was scared. Scared of losing the best thing that’s ever happened to him — he didn’t want to lose you. He wanted you in his life.
But after weeks after weeks of him bailing on you for training, and weeks after weeks of you bailing on him for training, you two know that at this point, there was no relationship between you two. It was like you two had already broken up for months. You two just had to have a conversation to make the split official.
And that conversation happened when Riki was entering the rink for training, and when you and Keiji were leaving it. You had stopped him for a few minutes, and it was like Riki already knew what was coming.
“We both know that we’re too busy and focused on skating to be together.” you said, and Riki agreed. You two had tried your best to make it work — but your dedication to skating was just more… important. You both understood that.
“Yeah. I agree. So… I guess this is it, isn’t it?” Riki bites the inside of his cheek. He knows this is right, but he can’t help but feel upset about it. You were his girlfriend for 2 years — and the relationship was really going to end with a conversation that took less than five minutes.
“I guess so… um… I’m really sorry.” you say, and Riki nods, giving you a small smile. “I get it. You get it too. We have other priorities.”
You smile, nodding at him. “We’ll still be friends, hmm?”
“Are you joking? Of course.”
“I’ll see you around.” you stand there looking at each other for a few seconds until you pull Riki into a hug — one that he knows shouldn’t feel awkward, but somehow it does.
Maybe because he knows that it’s a goodbye hug.
“Thanks. For… everything.”
“You too.” Riki says, when you two separate. “Uh… I gotta go. Coach is waiting for me.” he says, and you nod. “Of course. Have a nice practice.” you say with a smile, before turning around to catch up with Keiji.
With a conversation that lasts no less than 5 minutes, Nishimura Riki’s first and only relationship ends.
Riki is off focus for the entire training session, and even weeks after that. His jump landings are shaky, he falls more often, and even his coach mentions to him that she doesn’t feel like he’s fully… there.
He can’t stop thinking about how he could’ve lost his one and only chance at love.
He knows he’s young, and it’s a little dramatic to say — but who would fall in love with him when they know that he cares more about his sport?
It was different, because you were a skater, so you understood how he felt and agreed with him. But he knows not many people are willing to make sacrifices — and he understands.
Love is complicated.
It is even more complicated for someone like Riki.
Ever since he was young, Riki had always wanted to fall in love. His parents are still happily together, seemingly falling more in love as each day goes by. His older sister has seemed to find “the one” too, and his younger sister’s crush seems to be liking her back, from what he’s heard from her (and also from how he’s seen the boy look at his little sister when Riki goes to pick her up from school.)
But for Riki, who is the unlucky one in the family, falling in love is harder than landing a quadruple axel.
And Riki can’t even land that jump without falling yet. He’s a quarter off on rotation, so he’s getting there — but for love? Oh, Riki is way more than a quarter off.
Riki likens his love life to be a triple axel he’s going for, but then he pops it. A popped jump is a very good way to describe Riki’s love life. Going for it, realising it’s something that can’t be done without hurting himself (but in the case of love, hurting the other person), then backing away.
So, Riki decides that he’ll put love on hold for the meantime. But, it doesn’t stop him from getting a little bit jealous when he sees all his friends in happy relationships.
He wants someone who understands his dedication to the sport and encourages him too.
And that someone is you.
But, he’s very clearly lost his chance now. Your breakup was mutual — there was no animosity about it, but neither of you had taken up the offer of staying as friends.
Riki waited for you to text, and you never did. Little did Riki know that you were also waiting for him to text… and he didn’t either.
You two didn’t really talk much after that. And you didn’t end up seeing him much either, unless it was very briefly at competitions, since half a year after your breakup, you and Keiji had moved to Canada to train. But, Riki did see how you and Keiji had gotten better and better after the coaching change, and he was proud of you two for gaining such amazing scores and delivering such wonderful programs.
You could say the same about Riki too — you watched his skating online, and every single skate of his seemed to be better than the last.
Slowly but surely, you two got over each other. It wasn’t easy for you, and it wasn’t for Riki either. But you two did what you knew best to try and forget.
To skate.
The thought of love just completely slips from Riki’s mind after a few months. His whole world is skating now, and he’s quite okay with that. Love is put on pause, for Riki. And he doesn’t know if he’ll press play any time soon.
It’s just that love never seems to come at the right time for Riki. Love seems to be far away, out of reach, and something that Riki can only dream of experiencing.
Love has no time for Riki, and he does not have time for love either.
TWO. 4 continents, 4 years
“That’s a flutz. Do it again, Riki.”
Nagai Hikari, Riki’s figure skating coach, stands on the other side of the boards, eyes scrutinising Riki’s every move. Her eyes are narrowed into slits as her eyes lock in on the blades on Riki’s boots.
He takes off into a lutz, arms outstretched above his head to do a rippon. Hikari nods in satisfaction when she sees that Riki uses the correct edge on takeoff. “Better.” she says.
Riki has worked with Hikari for years — and she is not a woman who gives out too many compliments. Short and simple is the way she does it, but Riki knows that she cares.
Such as when Riki won his first senior competition. Riki had never seen her so happy. She actually had a bright smile on her face — one that Riki had never seen before.
Riki holds his hand up to tell Hikari that he’ll be taking a short break, and she nods. Riki skates up to the boards, where he sees Taki and Yuma sitting down on the bench, taking off their off-ice shoes.
“Riki with the rippons,” Taki says in his best impression of a commentator’s voice when he notices Riki. “They might as well just rename it to like… Nishimuras.”
“I would be on board with that.” Yuma pipes up.
“Stop,” Riki says.
“It’s your thing, okay?” Taki says, skating onto the rink. “That’s why they call you Riki with the rippons. You have your thing, I have mine.”
Riki skates alongside Taki, Yuma catching up with the both of them when he’s done lacing up his own skates. The three had gotten assigned the 3 spots Japan had for 4 Continents, with all three of them doing pretty well at Nationals. Riki had gotten assigned a spot at the World Championships next month as well, making the boy extra busy.
The short program was tomorrow, and Riki felt that he was quite confident in his ability to do well. If he landed all his jumps cleanly, Riki thinks that he has quite a good shot at leading in the short.
“Are you nervous?” Riki asks Yuma, whilst Taki skates away from the group to practise his jumps. From the corner of his eye, Riki sees Taki land a quad loop. Surprisingly, the loop is Taki’s favourite jump – Riki’s is the salchow, which Taki absolutely despises doing.
“Kinda. First Four Continents… I’m bound to be a little nervous.” Yuma chuckles, and Riki nods, patting the boy on his back in reassurance. “You’ll do great, don’t worry.”
“Riki, run through your short program again.” The sharp voice of Hikari catches Riki’s attention, and the tall boy nods. “Duty calls.” Riki says to Yuma, who nods.
The music to Riki’s short program plays, and as if it’s instinct, his arms move exactly the way they’re supposed to, his feet carrying him across the rink — there’s not a single thought in Riki’s mind. It’s all muscle memory now, considering the amount of times he’s done the program.
He’s got a quadruple lutz lined up first, and he steps out of the jump. Hikari presses her lips together as Riki makes a mental note to make sure to land the lutz well. He’s always been able to land this one cleanly in the free skate — but in the short program, the quad toeloop has not been his friend at all.
He takes off into a quadruple salchow-triple toeloop combination jump, landing it cleanly. He hears a few cheers from the audience, and the sound of camera shutters going off from the photographers there.
Hikari gives him a satisfactory nod from behind the boards.
The rest of Riki’s runthrough of his program is executed well enough to meet Hikari’s high standards. Soon enough, they’re all told to leave the rink since practice time is over, and the ice dancers will have to use the rink.
Riki puts his skate guards on, sitting down on the bench next to Taki. “Oh, and before I forget to ask you, do you wanna go to lunch with the rest of us? The whole 4CC team is going, with the exception of Sakura and Fuma, ‘cause they’re practising.”
Riki shrugs, taking off his skates to change into his regular sports shoes. “Sure. Where are we going?”
“Kazuha found this nice restaurant nearby the arena,” Yuma chimes in. He puts his skates into his bag, standing up to wait for the two other boys to finish putting their skates away. “Let’s leave our bags in the locker room and go. I think Kazuha, Mina and Yuta are already there.”
“I’m going to get changed.” Riki says, getting up from the bench and heading towards the changing room. He’s sweating after practice, and he’d much rather go out in fresh clothes than wear what he’s got on now. Taki and Yuma follow him not long after, and Riki changes into a black hoodie and a pair of jeans, spraying some cologne on as well.
He brushes his bangs out of his eyes as he takes his wallet and phone out of his bag, shoving them into his pockets. “You ready?” he asks Yuma and Taki, who have also changed. The two boys nod, and they all head out of the changing room.
“Where’s the restaurant again?” Taki asks Yuma, who’s got the location entered into the GPS on his phone. “A five minute walk from here.” Taki replies, and he walks in the direction of where the GPS tells him to go, and the two boys follow him.
Soon enough, the three boys arrive at the restaurant, telling the front of house staff Kazuha’s name, since she was the one who booked. The staff member takes them to their table, and Riki greets everyone before sitting down next to Taki.
But, when he turns his head, he sees Keiji sitting just one seat away from him, with the one next to Riki being empty.
“Hey, who joined us?”
Riki knows exactly who that voice belongs to, and he turns his head slowly to meet eyes with you.
Everyone at the table immediately goes silent as you and Riki stare at each other for a few seconds, neither of you moving. Riki lets out a shaky breath as he looks at you — he hasn’t really seen you at all since the breakup.
“Hey.” You’re the first to speak.
Riki gulps. “Hey.”
You awkwardly slide into your seat next to Riki, and he sees Yuta wiggling his eyebrows at him, and Riki makes a mental note to send him a text message with many middle finger emojis later.
You haven’t seen Riki in a long time. He’s grown taller, way taller than you last saw him, and he’s now got dyed blonde streaks in his dark hair. It looks good on him — he looks good. As Riki talks to the others, you can’t help but stare at him. There’s a couple silver necklaces he’s wearing around his neck, and you’re sitting close enough to him to realise that he’s still wearing the cologne that you had recommended to him years ago.
“So…” Kazuha starts. “How’s Bisco?”
Riki’s eyes light up at the mention of his dog, and Hitomi notices that there’s a fond smile on your lips when you hear him talk about Bisco. After all, you did frequent Riki’s house when you two were together, and had formed a close bond with Bisco.
Riki never told you (and doesn’t plan on telling you) but after your breakup, Bisco would often sit by the door, waiting to see if you’d show up.
And you never did.
“Good,” Riki says. “I’ll go back home to see him after the competition. I try to go back as much as I can since it’s only a 4 hour train ride from Nagoya to Okayama, but — training kinda steals most of the time I have.”
“Oh, so you found out Bisco’s gender now?” you ask, absentmindedly — you don’t realise the words slip past your lips until Riki replies. “Uh, yeah. Konon told me, actually.” he chuckles awkwardly.
The tension between you and Riki is so thick that you could cut it with a knife. You didn’t think that seeing him would be this awkward, since you two had ended things amicably — but now that you’re seeing him for the first time after the breakup, you really don’t know what to say to him.
“Awks.” Taki whispers into Riki’s ear, and Riki rolls his eyes, nudging him on the arm. “Ow,” Taki says dramatically, clutching the spot where Riki had elbowed him. “That really hurt.”
“Sure it did.”
The lunch goes well for the most part, with Mina catching you and Riki sneaking glances at each other when one of you isn’t looking. There’s a sneaky grin on her lips as she watches the scene play out before her. You’re awkwardly taking a sip of your tea, whilst Riki is trying to do everything in his power to stop himself from trying to steal another glance at you. “They should talk.” Mina whispers into Kazuha’s ear.
“Keiji, practice is in an hour.” you tell your partner, and he checks the time. “Shit, right. Um, guys, we’ll have to leave soon for the official practice.” Keiji announces to the group, and Yuma nods.
“Let’s just all leave, then. We’re all done with eating.” Yuma says, and Riki nods. The boy stands up, looking at the time on his phone as you catch a glimpse of his lockscreen, and it’s of Bisco having Riki’s Worlds gold medal hung around his neck.
A smile spreads across your lips as you catch sight of the photo. “That’s cute.”
Once again, the words slip out before you realise you say them. “Sorry. Caught sight of your lock screen.” you say, and Riki shrugs.
“It’s alright.” he says, and you two just stand there awkwardly, looking at each other — you both don’t even realise that everyone’s gone to the cashier to pay (even if they all did it purposely just to get you two to talk in private.)
“So… how have you been?” you ask, attempting to start a conversation. “I’m good. Just training a lot… you know how I am,” Riki says, and you nod. “How about you? How’s Canada?”
“Oh, it’s nice there. Really cold in the winter.” you say. “Colder than Japan?” he asks, and you nod. “Sometimes. Oh, and I forgot to say — congrats on gold at Worlds last year. You did really great.”
Riki smiles at you. It’s a smile that you didn’t know you missed until you saw it again. “Thanks. I saw you there, I think — just didn’t get a chance to say hi. I’ve seen you at many competitions, briefly, actually. Just… the opportunity never came up.”
“Yeah. I saw you too. I was in the bleachers, actually. Umm… yeah, you did really great. You’ve come so far. Super proud of you.” you say, offering him a smile. “We haven’t talked in so long. How long has it been?”
“4 years, I think.” Riki replies.
“Right. 4 years… 4 Continents.” you quip, and Riki tilts his head, looking at you with an amused smile.
“Good one.”
You know it wasn’t really a good one. More of a lame joke, compared to the ones that you had told him before when you two were dating.
“Thanks.” you say, shoving your hands into the pockets of your jacket. “We should probably… go. They’re all gone.” you say, and Riki nods.
“Right. Yeah. Don't leave anything behind.” he says, not forgetting about your terrible habit of losing things often. He’ll never forget the day when you nearly forgot your skate bag in the bus that you two were riding on to get to the rink — thank god he was there to remind you to pick it up.
“Yeah. I won’t.” you say, checking the table once more. Riki remembering that about you makes you feel a little bit happy, somehow. To you, it shows that he didn’t really forget about you, despite not having seen or talked to you for 4 years.
You follow Riki as you two both make your way towards the cashier, Taki looking at Riki expectantly. “So… did you guys kiss?”
“What the fuck?” Riki asks his friend. “You think I’m going to see my ex girlfriend after 4 years and after maybe a… 5 minute conversation, we’re going to kiss?”
“You’re unpredictable. And you two also broke up in less than 5 minutes, so… yeah. Maybe.”
“You’re insane, Taki.”
“Are you guys going to go back to the hotel?” Sakura asks Riki, Yuma and Taki. The men’s single skating practices were officially done for the day — meaning Riki could just go back to his hotel room, flop onto the bed and sleep.
“Uh… yeah. Probably.” Yuma says. “Do you guys have any plans?”
“I’m going to watch the pairs practice.” Kazuha pipes up. “You guys are more than welcome to tag along so we can watch (Name), Keiji, Mina and Yuta if you’d like.”
“Might go take a shower before I come join you.” Taki says, and Yuma nods in agreement. “Yeah. And I’m sure Riki would love to tag along as well.” he says, and Riki knows that Yuma’s just enunciating the word ‘love’ to piss him off.
“Yeah, I’ll come.” he says.
“Nice,” Keiji says. “See you later.”
The group splits up, with Riki, Taki and Yuma walking back to the hotel, and Hitomi, Kazuha, Mina, Yuta, Keiji and you heading to the arena. But before Riki gets far away enough, you call out his name.
“Hey, Riki?”
The boy turns his head to look at you.
“It was nice seeing you again.”
You leave before he can respond.
THREE. 3LzTh
Riki heads to the arena with his hair still damp.
Not the best idea in cold weather, but he makes do. He shoves his wallet into the pockets of his jeans, Taki trailing behind him.
“How was seeing (Name) again?” Taki asks, a smirk on his lips. “I know you’re trying to piss me off, and it won’t work. She’s just a teammate now.” Riki says, shrugging.
Huh. Riki doesn’t realise that you are just a teammate now until he says those words out loud. Over the years, he’s always thought of you as something more — you mean (or rather, meant) a lot to him.
But he hasn’t talked to you in 4 years, and a lot can change in 4 years. You two might as well be strangers with a lot of history. “Ouch. Not even friends?” Taki asks.
“Things are a lot different compared to when we were 17,” Riki says. “Plus, I’ve only had one conversation with her since the breakup. Let’s take things slow, okay?”
“Just saying, I think you two might end up falling in love again.”
“You’re being ridiculous. Based on what? A 5 minute conversation?”
“Based on how I feel like you’ve never really been over her. Let's face the facts here, Riki. You haven’t even tried to find someone else after your relationship with (Name). Not even a single thought about being in a relationship with anyone else has crossed your mind.”
“Because I’m focusing on skating.” Riki replies.
“Or are you using that as a lame excuse because you know deep inside the only one who will ever be able to have your heart is (Name)?”
Riki blocks out what Taki says. He’s done with having the older boy meddle in his dating life, even if it is what got you and him together. Riki is over you. He is sure of it.
He enters the arena, sitting down next to Kazuha. “So…”
“Is this conversation going to be about (Name)?” he asks, and Kazuha shakes her head rapidly. “No, no, no.” she replies, but Riki knows that the girl is lying.
“Then what is it about?” he asks, and Kazuha doesn’t say anything.
“Uh… I forgot. Slipped my mind!” she says quickly, before reverting her focus back onto the ice. Riki sees you and Keiji prepare to do a throw jump, and he doesn’t know why Riki feels this sudden sense of dread.
It’s the same kind of dread he felt every single time when he watched you and Keiji practice in the rink when you two were together, and whenever Riki felt that terrible emotion, you would fall.
And Riki is right. You’re barely a quarter of a rotation off, and you find yourself landing harshly on the ice. On instinct, Riki stands up abruptly from his seat, his eyes wide with worry. He doesn’t notice how Taki and Kazuha share a knowing smile.
“She’ll be okay, Riki.” Kazuha tells him. Riki looks at you on the ice, still not having gotten up. He squints to try and examine your expression to see if it is one of pain — and it is then when Riki realises he can’t read you like he used to anymore.
Things have changed too much for Riki’s liking.
But this is what happens when people break up. He accepted this fact so long ago, but why has it all changed suddenly when he sees you again?
You no longer make his heart skip a beat whenever he sees you. Surely, that is the telltale sign that he is over you by now.
He sits back down with an inscrutable expression. Of course it is normal to care for you when he sees that you might be injured, is it not? But this feeling seems to be a little bit more than that — something that Riki cannot find an explanation for at this point in time.
Perhaps he should just let that thought go and watch the practice. “Don’t be worried. (Name) is strong.” Taki says.
It’s exactly the same thing he told Riki 5 years ago when he saw you and Keiji practising a triple lutz throw. Riki remembers being so scared that Keiji would throw you across the ice so carelessly — but he knows that you trust Keiji.
So in turn, he supposes that he should trust Keiji.
He watches as you and Keiji do a side by side triple loop, Riki holding his breath for the entirety of the time he sees you in the air. When you land the jump cleanly, he lets out a sigh of relief.
Riki realises that the last time he saw you skate in person was just before you two broke up. He didn’t watch your performances even when you two were at the same competitions, because he was too busy preparing for his own performances.
It’s funny, how he could’ve seen you so many times after the breakup — but there is some sort of force separating you from each other, and only bringing you two back together again now.
Taki claims that your relationship with Riki was a right person, wrong time situation. And in some ways, Riki agrees. He does know that you are the right person for him, but he doesn’t think he is the right person for you.
He watches you practice silently, thoughts of his previous relationship with you running rampant in his mind. He is over you, he reminds himself. That heart-stopping feeling he always got whenever you smiled at him, the butterflies in his stomach, and the instantaneous smile that spread across his lips at the sight of you are now all gone. Riki is just reminiscing over the happy memories he had with you, there’s nothing wrong with that.
And reminiscing over happy memories doesn’t sound like being in love at all, Riki thinks. Jokes on you, Taki.
When the official practice is over, he heads to the vending machine, wanting to buy himself some coffee. When he gets there, he sees you, standing there as well, seemingly fishing through your wallet for coins.
“Hey,” he says, and you look up, a smile gracing your lips when you realise who it is. “Hey. You came.” you breathe out.
“I did,” Riki says, rubbing the nape of his neck. “You guys did great. Did the fall hurt?” he asks, remembering the hard fall you had on the triple lutz throw. You shrug, chuckling. “Nothing I’m not used to.”
“Mmm. Make sure to ice it when you get back to the hotel.” he says, pressing the buttons on the vending machine, then slotting in the coins. He takes the coffee out of the slot, handing it to you.
He still remembers which one you like.
“Take it.”
“Riki, it’s okay — I can just pay for my own.” you say, shaking your head. Your words only prompt the boy to hold the drink out closer to you, and you take it in your hands. “You sure?”
“I wouldn’t give it to you if I wasn’t, (Name).” he says, running his fingers through his hair. He presses another button on the vending machine, paying for his own drink then taking it out of the slot.
“I owe you one,” you say, and Riki shakes his head. “You don’t owe me anything. Just think of it as a gift.”
“A coffee from a vending machine as a gift?” you ask, laughing. “I’ll treat you to coffee when we’re back in Japan.”
Riki tilts his head, raising an eyebrow. “You and Keiji aren’t going back to Canada? Worlds is soon.”
“Worlds is in Saitama this year. Figured it’d be easier, and Hikari’s letting us train at your rink for a bit until Worlds is over.” you say.
So Riki will have plenty of chances to see you again.
“Oh, that’s really nice. Let’s try and find a time where we can both make it.”
The last sentence Riki says seems like a little bit of an insult — when he didn’t mean it in that way at all. He hopes he didn’t sound like he was blaming you for the breakup. It was a poor choice of words, given the situation that you two had been through.
“I didn’t mean it like that, by the way. I just meant in general, we should both be free for a… longer period of time when we go to the coffee shop.” Riki hurriedly tries to explain, and you shake your head, chuckling.
“Relax, I didn’t take it like that. Plus, we both know that the timing just wasn’t right.” you say, and Riki nods. “Yeah. We both know that.” he gulps.
“Right.”
The atmosphere suddenly feels very tense.
“I better uh… get going.” you say, awkwardly smiling at him. “Thank you for the coffee, Riki. Let’s talk more later?”
“Sure, of course. Um… you have my number.”
“Yeah. Unless you’ve changed it, or something.” you say, and Riki shakes his head. “Just the same. Yours?”
“Uh… same. It’s LINE, so… didn’t have to change much when I moved to Canada.” you say, and Riki nods. “Right, right. Um… I’ll see you.” he says, giving you a wave goodbye, before you two awkwardly part ways.
You turn your head to look back to see if he’s also looking back. He’s not, so you just turn back around.
As if you two are fated to just have the wrong timing, Riki looks back the exact moment you turn your head back around.
FOUR. zamboni
Today is the day of the men’s short program.
Riki doesn’t feel his best today. Something just feels off — maybe it’s because he went out with damp hair in cold weather and he’s catching a cold, but he certainly hopes that’s not the case.
He chugs some water before he goes to line up, preparing for the 6 minute warmup, unaware that you and Keiji are seated in the bleachers as spectators. You’re dressed in a black puffer jacket that you’ve had since you were 15 – really, you’re still not quite sure how you’re still able to fit in it, but it’s comfortable and keeps you warm. Keiji looks over at you, noticing your eyes scanning the arena for any sight of Riki.
“Are you looking for someone?” Keiji asks, and you cross your arms, frowning. “No,” you mumble, biting on the inside of your cheek.
Of course, Keiji doesn’t believe you. He likes to think that he knows you better than most people, considering how you two have been paired together for nearly 10 years.
“You can’t lie to me, (Name).” Keiji chuckles, and you avert your gaze from him. “You can be honest with me, you know? I mean… we live together, I throw you up into the air every single day and catch you while skating on frozen water — that at least shows that you trust me with your life, which in turn, means that you can trust me with whatever feelings you have toward your ex boyfriend, who also happens to be my friend from primary school.”
“I forgot you and Riki went to the same primary school,” you say, burying your face in your hands. “And I don’t have any… feelings towards him.”
“So you’re saying when you see Riki, your mind goes blank? Not a single thought inside of that brain of yours?”
“No, you idiot. But like… I don’t know what I’m feeling.”
Seeing Riki after 4 years has made some feelings that you had made yourself forget about long ago resurface, and now that they’re all out in the open, you don’t know what to do with them. It’s not like you’re still in love with Riki, but seeing him again makes you think of all the times when you were in love with him.
Moments like showing up late to practice due to staying a little too long at the arcade with more plushies in your arms than the amount that people throw onto the rink when you skate. Or moments like getting scolded by your coaches, who tell you that being late is not acceptable, and smiling at each other secretly, trying not to laugh while they tell you off. Moments like running to hug each other after getting your scores at the Kiss and Cry, both holding each other so tight you both feel like suffocating.
Some part of you feels like you miss those moments.
But looking at the ice, you realise that you don’t think you can have those moments anymore. They are just memories now, memories that you hold near and dear to your heart.
Because even whilst Riki is in the arena, he’s never felt further away.
Things with Riki are awkward. It’s not like he’s unwilling to become close with you again, and it’s not like you are either — but there’s just so much history between you two, things just can’t be smoothed over this easily, unlike the zambonis on the rink that smooth over the ice.
“Things are just complicated, Keiji,” you sigh, pursing your lips. “As much as I’d like things to be back to the way they were, we’ve both changed too much over the years.”
“Woah, woah, woah.” Keiji’s eyes widen in surprise, as you look at him confused. “Back to the way things were? Like… when you two were dating? Kissing? Showing so much PDA I nearly threw up on the rink?”
“No!” you say quickly, and Keiji notices the defensiveness in your voice. “Just… when we were friends. When things weren’t awkward between Riki and I. I’ll figure everything out, okay? I just don’t know when.”
“Huh.” Keiji furrows his eyebrows. “I think you’ll figure things out sooner than you think.”
“Why’d you say that?”
“No reason.” Keiji struggles to hide the smile on his lips.
“Please welcome the next group of skaters to the ice.” the commentator says, and when Riki skates out onto the ice, you immediately spot him.
But that’s not just because of your shared history together — Riki stands at 6’0, towering over all the other skaters. It’s pretty impossible to not spot him. Keiji carefully examines your expression as your eyes follow Riki’s figure as he skates across the ice.
Riki’s skating second in his group, and you watch as he takes off into a triple axel. The landing is a little shaky, and you notice him coughing slightly after he lands the jump.
“Is Riki sick?” you ask Keiji, who shrugs. “Not sure. Why’d you ask?”
“He’s coughing.”
“Could have choked on air. I do that all the time.”
Soon enough, the 6 minute warmup is over, and Riki leaves the rink. “Are you worried about him or something?” Keiji asks, and you bite the inside of your cheek.
The music for the first skater in the group starts. “If he’s sick, it’ll be hard for him to compete.” you mumble.
The first skater lands a triple axel, the crowd clapping as you and Keiji join in as well. “Riki’s strong. He can take care of himself.” Keiji says.
“I know.” you say, and then you wince when the skater falls pretty hard on a quadruple flip. “Ouch.”
The skater’s program goes relatively well for the most part, except for the hard fall on the flip. You tap your foot rhythmically on the floor, nervously waiting for Riki to skate onto the rink.
That skater is placed 8th after the short program, it’s announced. Then, Riki skates onto the ice.
There’s a strange twinge in your heart when you see Riki skate out onto the ice. His costume is gorgeous — the shirt is flowy, with sequin details on it. He brushes his bangs out of his eyes before skating to the centre of the rink, getting into his starting position.
“Try not to fall in love.” Keiji whispers in your ear.
You glare at him, elbowing him. “Shut up.”
The music starts, Riki skating across the rink elegantly. You just realised that you haven’t seen Riki skate in person in 4 years, since you never really got the chance to watch him skate even when you two were at the same competition.
The timing was never right. It never seems to be when it comes to you and Riki.
And at that thought, Riki takes off into the quadruple lutz, and he steps out of the jump. You see the disappointment in his face as he continues skating, and you frown.
“You’ve got this,” you mumble. Stepping out is better than a fall, at least — but you can tell something is stopping Riki from skating at his best. He doesn’t seem to be in the best condition today.
Then, he takes off into the triple axel. He lands it, and you clap loudly — Keiji looks at you, amused, but you’re too focused on Riki to care.
Riki’s spins are always gorgeous. They always have been. It takes you back to the times when you two would practise on the same rink, you watching Riki spin from behind the boards, completely mesmerised.
The last jumping pass is a quadruple salchow-triple toeloop, and Riki barely hangs onto the toeloop. You’re glad that he didn’t fall, and all the jumps are done now — so now all he has to do is skate the rest of the elements well.
Riki has always delivered in terms of artistry and expression. Today is obviously no exception, despite him being a little off today.
When he finishes his program, the crowd cheers, and you and Keiji clap loudly. “Let’s go, Riki!” Keiji says, even though he knows that Riki can’t hear him. Riki bows to the audience, picking up a couple of stuffed toys that some audience members had thrown to him.
“He did good.” you say, and Keiji nods.
“I think that’ll put him in 1st for now. The step out and barely hanging on for the toe loop will cost him, but… there’s 4 more to go, so.” Keiji replies, and you press your lips together in a thin line as you wait for Riki’s score to be called out.
Seated in the Kiss and Cry, Riki sighs. He’s not happy with his performance today. He thinks he’s getting sick, and that definitely affected his performance. “You seem off today.” Hikari tells him.
“Think I’m catching a cold.” he replies, and his coach looks at him with concern. “Go back to the hotel immediately after. Take some Vitamin C supplements, then go get some sleep. I’ll get someone to take some medicine to your room.”
“Thanks, Hikari.” Riki says, a grateful smile gracing his lips. The woman just nods, and Riki turns to grab one of the plushies that he had placed next to him on the bench.
Like Keiji predicted, Riki does go into the lead after that skate. But he knows it won’t last for long after the next 4 skates if they all skate clean. Riki knows that he’ll just have to make it up in the free program, but first, he’s got to focus on getting rid of this cold before it can properly hit him.
Riki leaves the Kiss and Cry, going to the locker room to get changed.
He’s unaware about Hikari messaging Keiji about getting some medicine for Riki, and as Keiji replies back, a small smirk makes its way onto his lips. When he sends the message back, Keiji turns to look at you.
“Hikari wants you to help her do something.”
FIVE. rushed entries
You find yourself with a shopping bag, being told to head up to Riki’s hotel room. He’s sick, Keiji tells you.
Exactly like you thought.
You buy more than you think he needs. There’s 2 packs of lozenges, a few cans of the corn soup that you remember that he likes, some instant noodles, a few boxes of tissues and some cold medicine. You also put in a warm blanket that you had brought with you from Canada — you figure that he needs it more than you do.
You knock on the door, and you hear Riki’s footsteps approach. He swings open the door, and he looks tired. His nose is a little bit red, probably from blowing his nose.
“(Name)?” he asks, surprised that you’re here. His voice is a little croaky, and you frown.
“Hikari says you’re sick,” you mumble. “I came by to give this to you.”
“Oh,” Riki says. “Thank you.”
“Um… you did well today.” you say. It’s still awkward between you and Riki, and you’re trying to fill the terrible silence with some sort of conversation. “Nice triple axel.”
“Thanks,” he chuckles, but then he covers his mouth with his hand to cough. “Sorry. I think I’ve got a cold.”
“It’s okay. Um…” you don’t know whether you should stay or leave.
You and Riki stand there, looking at each other awkwardly. Riki thinks he should ask you to come in — but he’s sick, and your free skate is tomorrow. He can’t get you sick.
But you’re also looking expectantly at him, as if you want to come in. Riki can’t read you anymore, so he figures that maybe he should just take a leap of faith and ask.
“Do you wanna… come in?”
It takes you a few seconds to register what Riki had just asked you. “Oh! Um, yeah. Of course.”
“You don’t have to. I’m sick, and you’ve got a performance tomorrow.” he says, shrugging. You shake your head. “No, no. I want to.”
Riki opens the door a little wider for you to enter, and you walk inside his hotel room. The boy closes the door, setting the bag that you had brought him on the table. He takes the boxes of tissues out, and then he takes out a can of the soup that you had brought him.
“You remembered.” he says, turning around with a small smile on his lips.
“Yeah.” you breathe out, sitting down on the couch. “I remember we’d always go get that from the vending machine in winter. Warmed us up after practice.”
Riki nods. “Yeah. Thank you, by the way. This is really sweet of you.”
“It’s no problem,” you say. You get up from the couch, helping him take out some of the stuff in the bag. You place the box of tissues on his bedside counter, and you place the blanket on the edge of the bed. “I brought this blanket if you need it. It’s kinda cold, so.”
“Thanks,” Riki replies. He opens the can of soup, bringing it to his lips. The soup warms him up immediately, but also brings him back to the exact memory that you’d talked about a few minutes ago. You two would head to the vending machine, buying this small can of corn soup. It warms his heart that you still remember. “Still as good as it was before.”
“I’m glad.” you reply, and Riki takes the cold medicine before he heads over to his bed, draping the blanket over himself. You sit on the couch awkwardly, just looking at Riki.
“You wanna watch a movie?” he asks.
“Sure.”
“Come here,” he pats the empty spot on the bed next to him. “Or you don’t have to. It’s just… the TV isn’t exactly visible from the couch.”
“lt’s okay. I’ll come.” you say, and you walk towards Riki’s bed, climbing in next to him. You haven’t been this close with him since you two were together. It’s foreign yet familiar, and that confuses you.
“What’d you wanna watch?” he asks. You turn your head to look at him, and you realise that he’s much closer to you than you actually thought he was.
“Um…” you say, flustered. “You pick.”
“Your Name?” Riki suggests. “We always liked to watch that when we… um… yeah.”
Your Name was yours and Riki’s movie. Every single time you two had a movie night, you two would watch Your Name, huddled up on Riki’s couch, and Bisco would watch it with you both too. You’d think that after watching a movie so many times you’d get tired of it, but Your Name never got old for you and Riki.
It brings back a lot of memories. “Yeah. Let’s do it.”
Riki presses play. Gosh, he doesn’t know why he suggested Your Name. To be fair, it was the movie that you two always watched when you two were together — but bringing back old memories would make things awkward, and when Riki wants to become friends with you again, the worst thing to do is to bring back old memories.
But he can’t help it. You’re a familiar stranger to him now, and he doesn’t know what to do in situations like these. You’re so close, yet so far — Riki knows you, but he knows the you from 4 years ago. Who knows how much you’ve changed? Riki certainly doesn’t.
“Hah, his name’s Taki.” you pipe up, thinking of your friend Taki.
“I’ve never thought about it like that.” Riki chuckles. “Hopefully Taki meets his Mitsuha. Gosh, maybe then he’ll be less interested in my love life since he’s got his own.”
You laugh. Taki was the whole reason why you and Riki were able to confess your feelings to each other, so you do suppose that you should thank him.
You and Riki mostly watch the movie in silence. There’s occasional commentary from both of you, but you two are focused on the movie. It’s how it’s always been. You and Riki didn’t really like talking much when watching a movie — when you two were dating, he would just have his arms wrapped around you. He’d play with your hands, sometimes drawing little doodles on the inside of your palm with his finger.
The one part that has always gotten you and Riki emotional is when Taki writes ‘I love you’ instead of his own name. You remember both bawling your eyes out the first time you had watched the movie, finishing a whole box’s worth of tissues due to that one part.
“I’m going to cry,” you say. “We’ve watched this so many times, and I’ve never been able to control my emotions when it comes to this scene.”
“Don’t cry,” Riki says, looking at you. On instinct, he takes a hold of your hand to comfort you, and your eyes widen slightly. Fucking hell, Riki doesn’t know why he just did that.
But you’re now looking at him with an unreadable expression. You’ve never been this close to Riki ever since your breakup — your faces are mere inches apart. If you just leaned in a little… you shake your head in an attempt to rid yourself of the thought, but it stays ingrained into your mind. He lets go of your hand, and you don’t know if it’s the music in the background, the memories that the movie reminds you of, or what — but you feel the urge to just pull Riki close and kiss him.
Maybe your feelings aren’t completely gone.
Your eyes flicker to his lips, and Riki notices the look – it’s not very subtle at all. The boy doesn’t know what’s going to happen after this. Seeing you after 4 years has gone from awkward, to even more awkward, and now this. He doesn’t exactly know what this is, but he knows that something is going to change the entire trajectory of your relationship from here on out.
Riki is so beautiful. He’s always been beautiful.
“You got rid of your moles.” you hum.
“Yeah. I did.” he gulps.
“They were pretty.” you whisper.
You’re just saying whatever your mind’s thinking now. Nishimura Riki does tend to have that effect on you – blurting out whatever thought your mind has when it comes to him.
Riki’s cheeks flush a bright pink as you continue to admire his features. Riki is sick, and his main priority is getting better before tomorrow — but with the way that you’re looking at him right now, that priority has flown straight out the window.
Riki glances at the lanyard around your neck. It’s the one with your athlete details on it, telling everyone that you’re competing at 4 Continents. He supposes that you didn’t take it off before going to buy all that stuff for him. Then his eyes glance to your lips, and you know that Riki’s not trying to make it subtle.
You nod at him.
So he pulls you in by your lanyard, connecting your lips with his. It’s a terrible idea, in hindsight — considering he’s sick, and you’ve got a competition tomorrow, but neither of you seem to care. You can taste the minty flavour of the lozenge in Riki’s mouth from his lips, and his hand moves to cup your cheek.
It’s only when you’re kissing him do you realise how much you’ve missed Riki. Riki kisses you with such longing, and it makes you think that he’s missed you too. When you two pull apart for air, all you can do is look at him with an expression that Riki once again can't read. He simply stares at you, not knowing what to say. He doesn’t know if there is anything to say.
You don’t know if you want to say anything. You just want to kiss him again.
So you do.
You connect your lips with his once more, wrapping your arms around his neck. The movie is completely neglected now, the characters speaking just providing some background noise.
Riki was right. Something has changed the trajectory of your relationship completely — and it was a kiss. He’s very well aware that you two aren’t dating, and you two only saw each other again after 4 years three days ago. He should pull away, because he doesn’t know what this all is supposed to mean, but as your lips are on his, he realises that he doesn’t think he really cares.
Funnily enough, Riki doesn’t even think that he’s sick anymore.
SIX. 3A (fall, ur)
You wake up next to Riki.
You guess that you were just too tired to have returned to your own room last night. Riki looks so peaceful next to you, sleeping with a blanket draped over his body.
As you try to get up, Riki stirs, peeking one eye open. You just remembered that Riki was a light sleeper. “Hey…” you say, and he blinks to adjust to the light.
“Oh, morning.”
“Do you feel better?” you ask him, and he nods. “Cold medicine was good. So was the soup. And… oh.”
It seems like he just remembered the kiss. Or rather, kisses. It was a spur of the moment thing, and it’s not something that Riki regrets at all, but now it leaves a whole awkward conversation to be had with you about what it means for you and him now.
“So… about that. You know… kiss.” you awkwardly say.
“Yeah.”
“It was a… spur of the moment thing. We got caught up in our feelings.” you say, and Riki nods. “Yeah. That’s exactly what happened. I couldn’t have said it better.” he chokes out.
He’s over you.
You’re over him.
You’ll blame Your Name for making you think of all those memories of you and Riki when you two were a couple. That’s what led you two to end up kissing. You know that Riki will blame the movie too. It’s not that you two have any feelings left for each other – it’s been four years! Four years is definitely enough for both of you to move on.
“Did it mean anything?’ Riki asks.
“No,” you gulp. “Nothing at all.”
“Great. Glad we’re on the same page.” Riki grabs ahold of the water bottle placed on his bedside table. You nod at his words, eyes darting around to look at anywhere else but him. “Yeah. Let’s just… forget about this, okay? We’ll just put this all behind, it never happened, and… we’ll just be friends. We’re friends, right?”
“Yeah. Of course, we’re friends.” Riki breathes out shakily, and you give him a small, awkward smile. You and Riki are friends. You guys can go back to the way things were – before the relationship, and before that… kiss last night, provided that you both don’t continue to think about past memories.
“Let’s start over?”
“Yeah.” Riki replies. “Let’s start over.”
It’s fine. You’ll just forget about the kiss – it’s not going to be that hard to forget, right? You and Riki kissed when you two were together, it’s not like it’s any different. Except that it was 4 years after your breakup, and also a spur of the moment thing. You should stop thinking about it before it completely consumes your mind and knocks you off focus before your competition, so… you just lock that memory in a little box in your brain and throw away the key.
“Oh! My competition.” you say, suddenly being reminded. You have official practice in around an hour, leaving you with extremely limited time to get dressed. “You should go. Um… thank you for all the stuff, by the way.” Riki says, and you nod.
“No problem! I’ll see you later?” you ask, heading towards the door.
“Yeah!” Riki calls out after you, and you give him a quick wave before leaving the room.
Another five minute conversation leaves your dynamic with Riki changed once more. It seems like five minutes is the perfect amount of time for you both to make drastic, huge changes in terms of your relationship.
But Riki is so incredibly fucked.
Because one, he doesn’t think he can just forget what happened last night so easily. His worst trait is that he dwells on things a little too much – and oh, boy, Riki is going to dwell on this a lot. He’s never going to tell you this because you seem to feel regret about the whole kiss, but some words that he said in that 5 minute conversation he had with you are words that he doesn’t think he really means.
Yes, it was a spur of the moment thing. Yes, Riki got caught up in his feelings. But, that kiss did mean something to Riki. Taki was right. Riki’s not over you yet, and the fact that he realises this after only 3 days of seeing you again worries him a little.
Because how long has he been suppressing these feelings for? Or how long has he been neglecting how he feels, too busy focused on skating to even pay attention to the fact that he’s missed you? These feelings arising once more so quickly and so suddenly makes Riki scared.
Scared because Riki knows that you don’t feel the same way. You’re so quick to tell him that it meant nothing to you, so quick to leave, even if you did have a reason. So quick to tell him that you’d like to start over, and so quick to be able to get over him when his mind’s stuck on you.
Riki’s falling. And it’s not one of those falls where he thinks he can get up really fast from, like an underrotated triple axel that leads him to falling right on his ass.
He hurriedly runs to unplug his phone from the charging port, pressing on the call button on his cousin Rei’s contact. She picks up, incredibly quickly – no surprise there, since Rei’s eyes are always glued to her phone whenever he sees her.
“I’m so fucked, Rei.”
“I saw the tweets. Why didn’t you tell me you and your ex started talking again?” she says, and Riki furrows his eyebrows at her words. “What? How’d you know?”
“You really think none of your fans would take photos of you two talking at the vending machine inside the arena?” Rei chuckles. Riki sighs – Rei’s right. Rei was the one Riki always went to when he needed to ask for relationship advice, instead of Taki, who’s answer was always these two words: just kiss.
“So what problem do you have now? Did you guys kiss, and then one of you regretted it or something?”
Rei must be a psychic.
Riki’s silence gives Rei the answer she’s looking for, and Riki just hears her slam her hand on the table. “No fucking way, you guys kissed? Who, when, what, where, why, how?” she yells into the phone, and Riki brings his phone away from his ear due to how loud the girl’s voice is.
“Quiet down, will you?” he says, frowning. “Yes, we… kissed. And she said that it didn’t mean anything, and that it was just a spur of the moment thing where we got caught up in our feelings.”
“Then what did you say back?”
“I agreed?”
“Did you mean it when you agreed?”
“No?”
“You fucking idiot!” Rei yells, and Riki notices that he hasn’t even put her on speaker, but his ears already hurt from how loud she is. “Why didn’t you tell her that it meant something to you?”
“Because it’s weird! I see her for the first time in 4 years after our breakup, then I kiss her 3 days later and I’m supposed to tell her how I feel when I don’t even know what I feel?”
“Yes!” Rei replies, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “Riki, everyone in the world could tell that you were never really over her. You just used skating to distract yourself, but the way you two ended things was bound to leave some sort of lingering feelings. For fuck’s sake, your breakup took less than 5 minutes. I’m sure that there were words that you meant to say and words that she meant to say.”
“So what do I do now?” Riki asks, anxiously biting his bottom lip.
“You’re the one who knows her. What do you think you should do?”
Riki doesn’t know, but he doesn’t plan on involving another kiss anytime soon, despite how much he wants it to happen again.
SEVEN. figure it out
Keiji surprises you at the door of your hotel room.
“Seems like you spent the night somewhere.” he says, a sly smile on his lips. “Maybe a 6’0 male singles skater who you have some history with?”
“Shut up, Keiji.” you swipe your key card to unlock the door. “I just went to his room to pick up the jacket I left behind last night.” you lie, and Keiji raises an eyebrow.
You know he probably doesn’t believe you, but he also doesn’t pry further.
“How is he?” Keiji asks, and you shrug. “Seems to be doing fine. Bought him some soup, he took some medicine, we watched a little bit of a movie, then I left.” You obviously leave out the part where you two had kissed, because god forbid if Keiji found out, he’d tell everyone.
Then, it would make everything between you and Riki awkward again. But after your little conversation with him this morning, you think that maybe you and Riki can get past that initial awkward stage.
You just have to get rid of the thought of that kiss from your mind.
“Did he cough much this morning when you saw him? Or sniffle?”
“No, he seems to be alright.” you reply, taking a new change of training clothes from your suitcase and heading to the bathroom, locking the door. “What movie did you guys watch?” Keiji asks.
“Your Name,” you say, without giving much thought to it.
“Are you kidding me?” Keiji asks, in disbelief. “Your Name is literally yours and Riki’s movie. I can’t even watch it without thinking of you two. Are you sure nothing happened?”
Keiji knows you a little too well. You suppose that’s what happens when you’re pairs partners for nearly 10 years but gosh, sometimes you wish that he didn’t know you this well so you could get away with lying to him sometimes.
“I’m sure, Keiji,” you say, pulling your shirt over your head. You turn to look in the mirror, fixing your hair into a neat ponytail before unlocking the door and leaving the room. “Look, Riki and I are just friends now, okay? We talked last night and we’ll put everything behind us.”
“Everything? How are you supposed to forget hundreds of makeout sessions? A shit ton of hugs? Date nights that involved you two watching the same movie over and over again?”
Terrific. Keiji’s words bring you back to last night. And to be fair, he is somewhat correct — how are you supposed to forget? But you’ll find a way, right? It’s not like the thought of Riki has consumed your mind for the past 4 years when you two have been separated.
You’ll see him more often now that you and Keiji will be training in Nagoya for a bit, so you figure that it’ll be best to just pretend nothing ever happened to ease the tension between you two.
“Riki and I were friends first before we dated. I can handle this, Keiji.” you say, and you grab your skate bag. “Come on, we should head to the rink.”
When walking to the arena, flashbacks to last night keep replaying in your mind. You’re reminded of your face being inches away from Riki’s, him pulling the lanyard around your neck to connect your lips together, and the cool, minty flavour of the lozenge on his lips.
You don’t realise that you’re unconsciously bringing your fingers up to your lips. The feeling of Riki’s lips on yours still linger, for some reason, and you don’t notice how Keiji’s looking at you strangely.
“What’s up with you?” Keiji asks.
“Nothing.” you reply quickly.
You enter the arena, and you head towards the vending machine to buy a coffee. “I’ll head down soon,” you tell Keiji, who nods.
“(Name).”
You look up, and you’re greeted with the sight of Riki. “Riki! Hey,” you reply, flashing him a smile. “Didn’t know that you were going to come watch our practice today.”
“Oh, I’m not watching practice today, sorry. I’ve got a clash, since the men’s official practice is today and at another rink – I just stopped by to hand this to you.” he says, handing you your blanket. He’s folded it neatly, and you thank him gratefully before taking it into your hands.
“Thank you, Riki,” you say. “Um, you’re feeling better today, right?”
“Yeah. You asked me that this morning,” he chuckles. “Cold medicine and lozenge really did its wonders.”
You’ll never be able to think of lozenges the same way again.
The word alone brings you back to the kiss from last night, and maybe you shouldn’t have proposed the idea of putting everything all behind when you can’t even forget about that one kiss.
“Hello? (Name)?”
Riki’s voice snaps you out of your daze. “Oh! Sorry. Just competition nerves have gotten me feeling a little out of it,” you lie, chuckling.
“Hey, you’ll do great.” Riki says, placing a hand on your shoulder. You tense up slightly when Riki’s hand makes contact with your shoulder, and that’s enough for Riki to pull his hand away. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. Um, I’m just really nervous. Thank you, by the way.” you say, giving the boy a grateful smile.
“You’re welcome,” Riki says, returning the gesture by smiling at you too. “I’ll head off now, but have a great practice!”
“You too, Riki.” you beam at him, and you watch as his figure disappears past the doors of the arena.
Maybe now you realise it’s a little hard to forget about your shared history with Nishimura Riki. But both of you had agreed to put everything behind you two, so that’s exactly what you’ll do, no matter how hard it is to forget some certain events (to name one of them, that kiss from last night.)
You want to have a relationship with Riki again. Not a romantic one — even though you don’t think you’d mind that if it did happen — but you want to be friends with him again. You’ve missed having Riki around.
And as you lace up your skates before heading onto the rink, you tell yourself to forget about the minty flavour on Riki’s lips for just a little while.
EIGHT. strawberry cakes and skates
You don’t spot Riki anywhere when you skate onto the ice for your free skate.
Admittedly, you are a little disappointed – but that doesn’t stop you from focusing all your attention on making sure you and Keiji have a clean skate. You forget about minty lozenges, Your Name and Riki’s lips on yours.
Forgetting about those events proves to be helpful, as you and Keiji end up on the podium. Second place isn’t bad at all, and you’re glad that you and Keiji get to add another medal to your collection. Mina and Yuta place first, and even though you and Keiji weren’t the ones to bring home gold, you’re glad that your teammates were able to.
You rush to the locker room to change out of your costume after the victory ceremony, changing into a cropped cardigan that you had thrifted from somewhere and a pair of jeans. You redo your makeup as well, since the competition makeup is a little too dramatic and over the top after you’ve changed.
When you leave the locker room, you see Keiji and Riki talking, with Riki holding a Hello Kitty plushie in his hands. You walk up to the two boys, slinging your bag over your shoulder. “Hey,” you say, and they both turn their attention to you.
“Hey,” Riki says, and he holds out the plushie to you. “It’s for you. Sorry I couldn’t make it to watch your performance.”
You smile at Riki as you gratefully accept it with both hands. “Thank you, Riki. And it’s no problem – I know you’re busy preparing for your own performance later today.”
“Hey, where’s my plushie?” Keiji asks, looking at Riki. “(Name) steals all of yours anyways,” Riki points out. “Unless you don’t anymore…?”
Keiji crosses his arms, feigning anger. “She still does. But I would’ve guarded the one you gave me with my life, okay? Unless you’re only giving one to her because you–!”
Riki claps a hand over Keiji’s mouth before he can finish his sentence. You watch the scene in front of you in amusement, chuckling as Keiji gives Riki a death glare. “Good job, Riki.” you say, giving him a thumbs up.
“You two are ganging up on me again… just like old times.” Keiji says, and this time it’s yours and Riki’s turn to give Keiji a death glare. Keiji bringing up your past relationship with Riki is really not helping either of you in your quest to put everything all behind, and gosh, you love Keiji to death, but you wished that he would just shut up about all this to make things less awkward between you and Riki.
“Anyways… do you wanna go grab lunch?” you ask, and Riki nods, his hands stuffed into the pocket of his hoodie. “I should probably go eat before my performance later,” Riki says. “Keiji, are you gonna come along?”
Keiji struggles to hide the small smirk that makes its way onto his lips. He’s got a plan, and that plan is to get you and Riki to spend time alone as much as possible. So he pulls out his phone, pretending that Taki had just texted him. “Oh, Taki and I already planned on going to eat. You guys go alone.”
“Oh, perfect – just invite Taki along.” you say, and Keiji shakes his head. “No, it’s all good! See you!”
Your partner then runs off, as you and Riki watch in confusion. “Well… that was really strange.” you say, and Riki nods in agreement. “He told me he had absolutely no plans.” Riki replies.
“Maybe Taki had just texted him.”
That’s a lie, and you both know it. It’s incredibly obvious that Keiji just wants you and Riki to spend time together, in hopes that you two will reconcile and start dating again. Little does he know that you both have decided to put everything behind – even though that has proven to be a little bit of a struggle, considering how you both can’t stop thinking of the kiss.
But, you’re not too mad at Keiji running off and leaving you and Riki alone. It provides more opportunities for you and Riki to get used to having each other around again. Since you and Keiji will be training at the same rink as him before Worlds, you’ll see Riki often anyways, and the more you see Riki, the more chances you have to get that whole awkwardness stage over.
You think it’s going pretty well.
“Where’d you wanna go eat?” you ask him, and Riki shrugs. “You pick. If you didn’t ask, I was just going to go to a coffee shop, maybe eat something light and get a coffee.”
“We can do that. I can treat you to coffee now, then.” you beam.
“You really don’t have to.” Riki says. “Let me help you get that, by the way.” he says, taking your skate bag and slinging it over his own shoulder. “It looks heavy.”
God damn it, Nishimura Riki. You can’t do these heart fluttering gestures when I’m trying to get over you, you think.
“Oh, thanks.” you manage to choke out, and Riki just nods. “Come on, let’s go.” he says, and you follow him, trying to calm the erratic beating of your heart. Riki knows exactly what to do to make your heart do flips, and he’s certainly making it hard for you to forget about everything.
“Are you nervous for your free skate later?” you ask him, walking next to him side by side. Riki shrugs, pursing his lips. “I mean… yes? I’m trying not to think about it though… that’ll make me more nervous, and I don’t wanna mess up.”
“Understandable. I’m sure you’ll do great, though. I saw pictures of your costume — it looks really nice.”
“Are you stalking me?” Riki jokes, and you shake your head no, laughing. Riki’s comfortable enough to start cracking jokes with you again. You guess he’s handling the whole “putting it all behind us” situation better than you are.
Little do you know, you are very wrong.
The sound of your laughter makes warmth bloom across Riki’s chest. He tells himself to ignore that feeling.
You two walk to a nearby coffee shop, pushing open the door as you hear the bells hung to the handle jingle. The atmosphere is cozy and warm, and there don’t seem to be a lot of people in the cafe at the moment.
“What do you wanna get?” you ask Riki, and his eyes scan the menu written on the blackboard hung to the wall. “Just an iced americano would be great. I’ll pay for my food.” he says, pulling his wallet out of his pocket.
“Nope,” you say, slapping his hand away gently. “My treat.”
“(Name), you said you were only going to treat me to coffee. Plus, you bought me all that medicine and soup — come on, let me pay for my food.”
“Just go sit down, Riki.” you say. “I’ll go pay.”
Riki opens his mouth to protest, but you just shoo him away, and he sighs reluctantly. You turn to the boy at the counter with a bright smile. His name is Jake, according to the name tag clipped to his shirt.
“Hey, what can I get for you today?”
“Two iced americanos, one slice of the strawberry cake over there and… the banana chocolate muffin.” you tell Jake, who types it into the register. “Cool. Cash or card?”
“Cash,” you reply, handing Jake the money. “Thanks so much.”
“No problem,” Jake says, handing you the change. “I’ll bring you guys your order soon.”
You thank him once again before you head over to where Riki’s sitting. He’s typing on his phone, and he looks up when you sit down in the chair opposite to him.
“What’d you get for me?”
“Strawberry cake. We’d always go get some after competitions, remember?” you smile softly, and Riki nods. “Of course I do. The shop near the rink had the best ones, remember? The lady there still knows who I am — she’s been asking about you.”
“Mrs Kimura? Oh my gosh, how is she doing?”
“Really good, actually.” Riki says. “She’s gotten her grandson to help out with the shop, and the cake’s still just as good. We should go there again when we’re back in Nagoya.”
“Definitely,” you beam. “Gosh, I miss Japan. I’m going to stop by Okayama to visit family first, though. That’s Keiji and I’s plan before going to Nagoya to prepare for Worlds.”
“Oh, that’s what I’m doing as well,” Riki says. “Konon says Bisco misses me.”
“Bisco, oh my gosh. I miss Bisco.”
Riki smiles. “Yeah, well… Bisco misses you too. You know, according to my sister, Bisco’s in love with the neighbour’s dog?”
You gasp. “No way. Fudge? That one? Or is it another dog?”
“No, no, it is Fudge!” Riki says, and your jaw drops. “Bisco would always bark at her, but we found out it was because he actually just liked her?”
Riki only found out about Bisco being in love because his sister was trying to tease him about how he “hasn’t pulled anyone since his breakup with you.” Sad, but laughable. And she isn’t wrong, either.
Jake walks up to your table with a tray in his hands, placing one iced americano each in front of the both of you. “Strawberry cake is for…?”
You gesture to Riki, and Jake sets down the plate in front of him, placing down a fork next to the plate as well as a napkin. “Muffin must be for you, then. Enjoy.” Jake says, and you two thank him before the boy leaves.
“Strawberries. I love strawberries.” Riki hums.
“Yeah, you microwave them too, like a lunatic.”
“They taste better microwaved, (Name)! You told me you understood when I made you try it before.” Riki protests, as he watches you take a bite out of your muffin.
“Well, that was because I was… you know.”
You were going to say that it was because you were in love with him. But saying that would make things awkward, and right now, you’re having a lot of fun talking to Riki. Plus, you haven’t thought about the kiss once. You’re taking this as a win.
“Is the cake good?” you ask Riki, changing the topic, and he nods, taking another bite. “Really good,” he says between mouthfuls. “I wanna buy another one after the competition.”
“I want to try it. Maybe I’ll order one for myself.” you hum.
“Just have some of mine.” Riki says, pushing his plate towards you. “Really?” you ask.
“It’s not like we haven’t shared food before.”
Right. You try a bit of the cake, and Riki’s right — it is really good. It brings you back to when you and Riki would share the strawberry cake at Mrs Kimura’s shop. Of course, it doesn’t taste exactly the same, since the frosting at Mrs Kimura’s is a little lighter.
“That’s so good.” you say, and Riki nods with a twinkle in his eye.
“Oh, you’ve got frosting there.” Riki says, noticing the smudge of frosting on the side of your lips. “Where?” you ask, and Riki leans in a little closer to wipe the frosting off with the pad of his thumb.
Unconsciously, as he does the motion — your eyes flicker to his lips once again. Riki notices, but he decides not to say anything.
Your face feels hot. Very, very hot. Riki’s does as well.
“Ahem. So…” Riki starts. “We should definitely get more of the cake again.”
“Oh, one hundred percent. It’s really good.” you say, attempting to rid the awkwardness between you two. It’s working, you think.
The rest of your lunch goes pretty well. You two talk a lot, catching up on what the other has missed through those four years of no contact, and it reminds Riki of your first conversation ever, at Junior Nationals 7 years ago.
But Riki will keep quiet about how he thought of kissing the frosting off your lips.
You also won’t tell him that you were secretly hoping that he did that instead.
NINE. slipping up
Like you and Keiji, Riki places 2nd overall.
Obviously, he would’ve liked to have taken home the gold, but he’ll just make sure to perform better at Worlds. And second place isn’t the worst. At least he got to go home with a medal, and had gotten some strawberry cake with you after the event was over.
The time on the plane ride back to Nagoya flies faster than ever, with you and Riki chatting nonstop for the whole duration of the flight. Everyone else on the team watches you both with knowing smiles, giggling to themselves as they whisper to each other about what they think is going to happen between you two.
“Something definitely happened when I sent (Name) to bring Riki medicine. Their dynamic shifted.” Keiji hums, his eyes fixated on you walking next to Riki.
“They got out of the awkward stage pretty fast, hmm?” Taki tilts his head. “They’re already acting like how they did before they started dating. Maybe it’ll take a bit of meddling to get them together.”
“You do it.”
“Why do I always have to be the matchmaker?”
“You… did it last time? Because you said you couldn’t stand seeing them acting like a couple but not actually dating?” Keiji blinks, and Taki lets out an ‘ah’ when he’s reminded of his own words from years ago.
“Ah, right. I’m a genius.”
“Quit flattering yourself,” Kazuha says, walking up to the two boys. “I think they’ll get together on their own this time.” she looks at you two with a smile on her lips.
Taki hopes that Kazuha’s right. Admittedly, he does like meddling in Riki’s love life — only because he wants to see him happy — but he kind of hopes that Riki can just gather up the courage and confess without Taki needing to “accidentally” slip up.
“Wait, where are you going to stay in Nagoya?” Riki asks you, suddenly remembering that you had sold the apartment where you used to live in before you went to Canada. “Oh, I’m staying with Hinata and I believe Keiji’s going to stay with Fuma.” you reply, mentioning an old friend of yours.
“Ah, Hinata. I haven’t seen her in a really long time,” Riki hums. Hinata was your friend who Riki only happened to meet because you two were dating at the time, and he remembers asking her for ideas on what to get you as a gift for your 6 month anniversary. He eventually settled on a set of headphones that Hinata said that you had been eyeing for a couple of months.
You still use those headphones.
“I haven’t seen her in like… 6 months? But yeah, you haven’t seen Hinata in a while. I’m just going to drop off all this stuff at her place, then I’ll pack another bag and head back to Okayama.” you say, patting the giant luggage that you’re wheeling around.
“That’s my plan as well,” Riki says, checking the time on his phone. “There’s a train in 4 hours, I’ll probably go catch that one. Do you wanna go together?”
You beam at him. “Of course. I was hoping you’d ask — a 4 hour train ride can be so boring.”
“You could sleep. You didn’t get any sleep on the plane, and you usually doze off the minute you sit down.” Riki points out, and you nod. “Well, I was busy talking to you. Plus, I’m not that tired.”
“That’s good,” Riki says. “If you wanna sleep on the train, just let me know — I’ll wake you up when we get there.”
Your heart beats a little faster than normal at his words. Mainly because when you and Riki were together, you’d often find yourselves going on the same trains back to Okayama — you would be sleeping, while Riki listened to music and drew in his sketchbook.
Riki’s sketchbook was filled with drawings of you, with some that he showed you, and some that he hid. Not because he thought they weren’t good, but because he was embarrassed at how often he’d draw you. There were just pages after pages of his doodles of you — he swears there’s one sketchbook that consists only of his drawings of you.
“Okay,” you hum.
You and Riki part ways soon after that, with you taking the train to Hinata’s apartment. You struggle a bit with walking around with 2 suitcases, but you manage to make it work. You meet Hinata at the station, and she immediately rushes to help you with your bags — but not before she wraps you in a huge hug.
“(Name)!” she says, hugging you so tight you’re gasping for air. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” you say, smiling at her. “Congrats on the medal, by the way.” she looks at the medal draped around your neck — you had forgotten to take it off after the pictures at the airport.
“Thanks, Hinata.”
“So… I see from the news that you’ve been reconnecting with a special someone?” she asks, wiggling your eyebrows at you. She’s no doubt referring to Riki, of course. “Sure, I suppose you could say that. We’re going to take the train back to Okayama later today.”
“What? Riki’s stealing you from me again? Man, don’t tell me I only get to see you for a few hours today before you disappear for a week.” she pouts.
“I’m sorry!” you reply. “I’ll be back super soon, and we can go hang out as much as you want. We have lots to catch up on anyways. Well, by as much as you want, it depends on when I’m not training, because I can’t skip — Seungmin is going to kill me, but yeah. As much as you want.”
“That’s not very ‘as much as you want’, (Name).” Hinata jokes, and you sigh. “I know, I’m just so busy. Making plans is much easier during the off-season, which is soon, so don’t worry.”
“I get it. So,” Hinata starts. “What happened between you and Riki?”
You can tell her, right? Hinata’s been your closest friend since you were little — she won’t tell anyone. Most importantly, she won’t tell Keiji or Taki. So you think you’ve got the green light to tell her absolutely everything.
The apartment complex Hinata lives in is pretty close to the train station, so you two get there in no time. As Hinata unlocks the door, you figure that you should tell her now — you didn’t want to tell her now, because you were worried that she might get so shocked to the point where she shouted in the streets.
“So, umm… we had lunch together.” you start, and Hinata nods. “Then, he bought me coffee, so I said I’d treat him. But after that, he got sick, so Keiji told me to grab some medicine for him and bring it up to his hotel room — which I did, and then… we, uh…”
“You guys what?”
“Kissed.” you murmur, but Hinata can still hear it.
“You guys kissed?” she practically shrieks, and oh, you’re so grateful you decided to tell her when you two came into the apartment. She looks at you with wide eyes, as you sit on the couch, tapping your foot on the ground awkwardly.
“How did you go from buying him medicine then to kissing?”
“It just happened! It was a spur of the moment thing — but, we had a conversation, and we’ve decided to put everything behind us.” you say, and Hinata looks at you with a raised eyebrow.
“And how is that working out?”
“Great! We’re good friends now. Seriously, there’s no awkwardness between us, and I’m over the relationship. Riki and I are just friends now.”
Hinata nearly bursts into laughter at your words. She just finds it so unbelievable that you and Riki can “put it all behind you two” because from what she knows about you, you’re probably overthinking every single little action from Riki.
“What? Is it so hard to believe?”
“Yes!” Hinata says, and you frown. “I’m sorry, (Name) — but is it bad to say that I see you two getting back together?”
No, not at all, you think. You think you’d love that, actually. But you would never admit it out loud, so you lie to her. “Yes.”
Hinata doesn’t believe you. Gosh, maybe you are a terrible liar. Either that, or Keiji and Hinata know you too well.
You unpack some of the items in your suitcases, placing them in drawers in Hinata’s spare room that she had so kindly allowed you to stay in for the time being. You leave only the essentials in your suitcase that you’re taking with you to Okayama, and you place your skate bag on the floor. You won’t need them for the time you’re there anyways.
You wheel the suitcase you’ll be bringing with you to Okayama out into the living room, where Hinata’s watching television. “Don’t tell me you’re leaving this soon,” she says, looking over at you.
“No, not yet. The train’s in 2 hours, so I’ll probably go in an hour and a half so I can meet up with Riki.”
“Ooh, Riki.” Hinata says, wiggling her eyebrows at you as you groan. “I regret telling you everything. Oh, and whatever you do, do not tell Keiji or Taki. Those little shits will hold it against me until I tell Riki about any possible feelings I may have for him.”
“I won’t tell them. But what do you mean about any possible feelings you might have for Riki? Are you saying you feel something for him again?” she asks, as you brush your hair out of your eyes.
“No? Yes? Ugh, I don’t know. I’ll figure it out, okay? Everything’s happening all too fast, and I… need time to figure out how I feel.”
“Well,” Hinata starts. “Take your time. Nobody said you had to rush into things. Eh, wait — you two kinda did, with that spur of the moment kiss — but hey! Whatever works for you two. Riki and (Name)… just friends!”
Yes. Whatever works for you two. Right now, you and Riki staying as just friends is working out pretty great, so you think that you two will stick to it.
“Just friends. You know it.” you chuckle.
Just friends, huh?
Those two words leave a bitter taste in your mouth.
TEN. side by side (jump)
You meet Riki at the entrance of the train station with a bright smile on your lips.
He seems just as happy to see you as well, despite only seeing you a few hours ago at the airport after your flight. “Good to see you again,” he says. “Even though I saw you a little while ago.”
“Good to see you too, Riki.” you reply, and you two walk into the train station together. Just like old times.
Riki waits for you to be able to tap your card on the reader — the train station is quite busy today, even busier than usual. You pass through the gate, dragging your suitcase behind you. “Should we grab some food or snacks? I ate a little bit at Hinata’s, but it’s a 4 hour train ride. We might get hungry.”
“Sure.” Riki replies. He points out a FamilyMart located inside the station, and you two walk there side by side. “Are you going to get onigiri?” you ask him, and he nods.
“You’re so predictable, Riki.”
“You just know me well.”
Silence. But it’s a comfortable silence. You and Riki have gotten past that awkward stage faster than you two had anticipated. Just friends, now.
Even if you two wish that you could be more. Like old times. When everything between you and Riki seemed right.
When he’d softly nudge your hands with his head when you stopped playing with his hair for a bit. When he’d hug you randomly in the middle of the ice rink, the both of you hearing Keiji’s frustrated sighs in the background. When he’d kiss you underneath the cherry blossom trees every spring.
With Riki, everything always seems right.
Even the days leading up to the breakup, you enjoyed his presence in your life, even if he could barely spend time with you, and vice versa.
You two were 17. The stress of transitioning into seniors got to you both, and it wasn’t like you two didn’t hold any more love for each other — it was just skating that had taken the little time you had away from each other.
But you two are older now. 21 years of age, no longer new to seniors, with a collection of medals stored in boxes in your rooms. So maybe, you two could make things work.
Riki lets you walk into the FamilyMart first, following you to the section that has ready made meals. Riki takes one of the salmon onigiris, while you take a ham and cheese sandwich. You check the expiry date as you follow Riki to the drinks section, the boy picking out 2 bottles of coffee.
“One for you, one for me.” he says, holding one of the bottles out for you. He knows which one you like. He always did, and it doesn’t seem to have changed throughout the years.
“Thanks,” you say, grinning at him.
You both head to the cashier to pay, the kind lady giving you a smile as you hand her the money. She bids you both goodbye before you two leave the store with 1 white plastic bag, storing the food and drinks that you two had both bought.
“The train is arriving soon. We should head to the platform,” Riki says, checking his phone. “That’s perfect. We got everything we needed in time!” you say, and he nods.
“Doing anything special for your return?” Riki asks as you both step into the escalator, and you shrug. “I’m not sure. Mom will probably surprise me, if there’s anything planned.”
“That would be cute,” Riki says. “l don’t think my parents have anything planned. Bisco’s probably just going to look at me then turn away.”
You let out a loud laugh at Riki’s words. “Wow, Bisco’s cruel.”
The train arrives not long after, and Riki helps you put your suitcase in the overhead luggage rack. Riki shuffles into the window seat first — he knows you don’t like sitting there, but you’ve still yet to explain to him why that is the case.
You sit down next to him, taking out the headphones that Riki had gotten you for your 6 month anniversary. “You still use them?” Riki asks, glancing at the headphones.
“Of course. They’re good headphones.”
He turns towards the window, a soft smile on his lips.
You tell Riki you’re going to sleep, and he nods. The boy pulls out his sketchbook and a pencil, flicking through its contents. There’s some drawings of the food he’s eaten. There’s one of Taki pulling a goofy face, and there’s one that he drew of his old broken skates.
A stark contrast to the sketchbook he owned when you two were together. Where all the drawings were ones of you.
He turns to look at you, who’s sleeping peacefully.
You’re so pretty. You make Riki’s heart skip a beat. He takes off the coat he’s wearing, draping it over your body. The aircon in the train is cold — he doesn’t want you to shiver in your sleep.
Unconsciously, a small smile spreads across his lips as he looks at you. If anyone was watching the scene, they would all say that Riki was looking at you with the softest look in his eyes, with nothing but adoration and love for you.
His feelings have never left. Riki has grown to accept that — but he doesn’t know if you feel the same. He’ll keep it quiet for now, or as long as it takes. Riki can’t lose you again.
He would rather be just friends than not having you in his life at all.
Life is more vibrant with you in it. To Riki, you are the sun. You always have been. You light up every room you enter. Your smile is infectious — just the sight of it makes the corners of Riki’s lips quirk up. You brighten up his day every time he sees you, without fail.
He gently brushes your hair out of your eyes.
Something about that simple action is filled with so much love. Riki supposes he can’t tell you about how he feels at the moment, in fear of making things awkward again, so he will settle for this.
He’ll tell you that he loves you quietly. So quietly that you might not even notice.
Riki helps you fix the ponytail in your hair the best he can without waking you up, and he hums as he ties the elastic band around your hair.
He then returns to his sketchbook, drawing things like the medal that he had just earned, the view from outside the window, and the onigiri that he had bought with you at FamilyMart.
And one sketch of you that he hides in the back of his book.
You’re asleep for the majority of the train ride. Riki taps you on the shoulder when you two have arrived at Okayama, and you crack one eye open at him when you’re awake. Riki smiles — something about your expression when you wake up is just so endearing to him.
“We’re here?”
“Yeah.” Riki says, taking his coat that’s been draped on top of your body. “You looked cold, so.”
“Thanks.” you say, smiling gratefully at him.
You grab your bag, getting up from your seat so Riki can leave as well. He helps you get your suitcase as well, and you two leave the train together, and he waits for you to tap your card on the reader once again.
“Are your parents picking you up?” you ask him, and he nods. “They should be here.” he says, looking around the train station.
“That’s nice.” you say. “I think my mom’s coming too.”
“Tell her I said hi,” Riki tells you, and you nod. “Of course I will. I think she still has lunch with your mom once a week, or something.” you chuckle.
“Ah, right. Mom has mentioned that a couple of times.” Riki laughs. He then seems to spot his family, and a bright smile spreads across his lips. “They’re here. I gotta go… I’ll see you soon?”
“Of course.”
You don’t seem to notice how Riki fixed your hair a little bit for you while you were sleeping on the train. He smiles at you before bidding you goodbye.
You turn to watch him run to his family, a small smile on your lips at the sight. Riki doesn’t leave the station before turning back to look at you.
And with that, the moon waves goodbye to his sun.
ELEVEN. rinkside
Like Riki had anticipated, Bisco simply looks at him before turning away when Riki walks in through the door.
“Well.” Konon says, as Riki looks at his dog with a pout on his lips. “Bisco doesn’t even care about me!” Riki says, placing his bag on the couch.
“He’s side-eyeing you.”
“He’s always side-eyeing everyone.”
Konon nods, agreeing with her younger brother’s words. Bisco does have what one might call a permanent judgemental stare.
Riki flops down onto the couch, Konon sitting down next to him as Bisco wanders off to… wherever he’s going. Probably to stare out the window to get a glimpse of the neighbour’s dog.
“So… you and (Name) came back together?” Konon asks, and Riki nods, grabbing the remote control for the television from the coffee table.
“We were at 4 Continents together. Plus, she’s staying in Nagoya for a bit to train before Worlds — it’s easier than going back to Canada. Their coach Seungmin’s staying with a friend, and Keiji’s staying with his friend too.” Riki explains, clicking onto Netflix.
“I see,” she hums. “I didn’t know you guys started talking again.”
“It’s recent.”
“What’s recent?” Riki’s mom asks, exiting the kitchen. She looks at her son with a curious look on her face, even though Riki’s pretty sure his mom heard small pieces of his conversation with Konon, and there’s no doubt in his mind that she saw Riki with you at the train station.
“Riki and (Name) are talking again.”
“Don’t say it like that!” Riki says, lightly elbowing his sister. Pink tints his cheeks, and Konon immediately notices.
“What do you mean to not say it like that? You two are talking, am I wrong?” she laughs, and Riki groans.
“The way you worded it is…” Riki trails off, embarrassed. “Whatever. Doesn’t matter.”
“That’s nice. I liked (Name),” Riki’s mom says, a knowing smile on her lips. No matter how badly Riki’s trying to hide it, she knows about her son’s lingering feelings for you, and so does everyone else.
At the sound of your name, Bisco barks.
He really does play favourites, Riki thinks.
“I know you did, Mom,” Riki chuckles. “She told me to tell you that she said hi.”
“That’s kind of her. Tell her I said hi too.”
“So, what’d you guys do?” Konon asks, and Riki shrugs. “We didn’t have much time to… you know… hang out between the events. We had lunch first, with everyone on the team. That’s how I saw her after 4 years of no contact.”
“Oh, and then I went to watch her practice with Taki and everyone else. She did really well. Then, I kinda got a little sick, so she brought me tissues, cold medicine, soup — the ones that she knows I like — and lozenges.” Riki purposely leaves out the part where you two kissed. His family doesn’t need to know about that. In fact, he thinks that his sister would rather not know, even if he was willing to share. Konon would probably pretend to throw up, and his mom would definitely tease him about it for the rest of his life. His dad would laugh for hours, and Bisco would just stare at him with that judgemental look of his.
Riki continues rambling about spending time with you at 4 Continents while his mother and sister share a knowing look. “Oh, then we went to grab something to eat, and I got this strawberry cake, like old times, when we used to go to Mrs Kimura’s shop after practice. We have plans to do that again when we return to Nagoya. We had a lot to catch up on, so… yeah. Seeing her again was really fun.”
Konon chuckles. “Sounds like you had a really nice time at 4 Continents with (Name). You even forgot to tell us about that medal of yours.”
Konon has always liked you and Riki together. You both were incredibly similar, both loud and mischievous. You and Riki could talk about anything and everything for hours and hours and not get bored, and Konon would simply just watch in awe — she didn’t understand how two people could talk this much and not even feel tired. In fact, before you two started dating, Riki had complained multiple times when he had to leave the rink, because he wanted to talk to you more than he already had.
Konon remembers how Riki would call you his sun. And how you’d call him your moon.
She also remembers when you and Riki would have movie nights in this exact house, on this exact couch. She’d walk into the living room to get a late night snack, and see Riki’s arms wrapped around you, your bodies covered by a warm blanket.
You made Riki happy.
As a good sibling, that is all she wants for Riki in his life. Happiness.
Konon can see how happy Riki is when he skates a completely clean program. She can see how happy Riki is when he gains a new personal best score. She can see how happy Riki is when he earns a medal.
But the happiest she’s ever seen Riki is when he’s with you.
So with the way Riki’s talking about the short amounts of time he was able to spend with you at that competition makes Konon feel like yours and Riki’s story isn’t over yet. The glimmer in his eye returning, the way he’s smiling the entire time when he’s talking about the moments he shared with you, and the excitement in his voice as he details every moment tells her that her brother is still incredibly in love with you.
She hopes that he realises it. Or has already realised it.
But she knows Riki is too cautious, too worried that he’ll make a mistake when it comes to you. She doesn’t want him to just stand on the rinkside, constantly overthinking every move he makes when it’s related to you. So she figures that someone will have to give him a little push.
Before 4 Continents, Konon has heard her brother’s constant complaints about how he’s the only one in the family who hasn’t found love yet. But it’s clearer to her now than ever that Riki has always been the first one to find his person.
Words like how the universe might just simply not want him to fall in love, words like how maybe he’s not made for the thing called love.
But, the universe decides that it is the right thing to do to bring you and Riki back together. It has been too cruel to you both over the past couple of years — pushing the idea of knowing that you might’ve just lost your chance with the one and being left to wonder if you’ll find someone that can make you feel love the same way that person did.
But, the universe now decides to bring the sun and the moon back together.
One of them just has to take the first step.
TWELVE. on ice / off ice matchmakers
Riki doesn’t see you at all during his time in Okayama.
You two both don’t take the same train back as well, since Riki left for Nagoya a little earlier than you’re planning to. He texted you, asking if you were going to be on the train that day, and you replied with a ‘no’ and a sad face emoji.
You told him that you’d be staying a bit longer to spend more time with family, considering you hadn’t seen them in months. He tells you to have fun, and that he’ll see you back in Nagoya. You reply with a thumbs up and a heart emoji.
He can’t believe that his face heats up because of a stupid heart emoji. Riki thinks that he’s even more in love now than he was then, and maybe it’s because of a mix of those old, lingering feelings with the addition of the new ones that he’s developed over 4 Continents — the point is, Riki is crazily in love with you.
Riki returns to the rink with the thought of you on his mind. He sees Keiji there as well, alongside his coach Seungmin. Hikari doesn’t seem to be here yet, and neither does Taki.
“Hey, Riki!” Keiji says, skating up to the boards. “How was Okayama?”
“It was good. Spent some time with my family, chilled at home, witnessed my dog try to court the neighbour’s dog, you know, normal stuff.”
“Your dog is trying to court another dog? Also, what’s with the sudden use of formal language?” Keiji asks, laughing loudly at the fact that Bisco is trying to romance another dog.
“I didn’t know how else to word it? Is saying that my dog is trying to date another dog a better way of putting it?”
“I can’t believe Bisco’s pulling before me,” Keiji says, sighing. “Oh, and I almost forgot to ask. Did you spend any time with (Name)?”
Keiji wiggles his eyebrows at him, and Riki just looks at him, unamused. “No. I didn’t.” he replies, and Keiji gasps dramatically. “No way. Riki, what?”
“(Name) was spending time with her family. I’m seeing her here anyways — I don’t want to take away time that she could’ve spent with them while she’s there.” he explains, sitting down on the bench to put on his skates.
“Okay, that makes sense, I guess.”
“You seem very hellbent on trying to get me and (Name) back together.” Riki hums as he finishes lacing up his skates. “Look, she’s great. And I… hmm. The thing is, if she doesn’t feel the same way anymore, then it’s not going to happen.”
“Are you indirectly saying that you’re still in love with her?”
Riki doesn’t say anything as he takes off his skate guards and skates out onto the ice.
“Riki! Riki!” Keiji calls out after him, trying to catch up to him. “It’s a yes or no question, it’s just one word, come on, man!”
“You’ll figure that out.”
“That’s a yes?”
Riki doesn’t say anything once more, and Keiji takes his silence as an answer.
Oh, Keiji is so incredibly excited. Knowing that Riki still likes you and also knowing that your feelings for Riki have never left (despite you denying it constantly) has opened up so many new doors for him to come up with a scheme to get you and Riki back together.
Keiji usually wouldn’t meddle in his friends’ relationships – that’s more of Taki’s thing, but like Konon, he knows that without a little push, you two would never do anything about it. Keiji would hate to see you both just deciding to let your feelings for each other slowly melt away when he knows that you two are practically perfect for each other.
Keiji’s coach, Seungmin, looks at him with a curious expression, wondering why his student looks so excited suddenly.
Seungmin had started coaching you and Keiji when you both moved to Canada. He and his pairs partner Yeji had recently retired, with Yeji wanting to pursue a different path away from the ice, and Seungmin wanting to transition to coaching.
“What are you so excited about?” Seungmin asks when Keiji skates back to the boards. “You know how Riki and (Name) used to date, right?”
Seungmin nods. Keiji has been talking about it constantly after 4 Continents, and since he wasn’t coaching you and Keiji yet at the time when you and Riki were together, he is quite intrigued about why the whole team wants you both back together.
“Riki still likes her. Maybe even loves her? Not sure. But I swear (Name)‘s been secretly hung up on her relationship ever since they broke up — she’s just made herself so busy to the point where she could forget about it. Plus, they didn’t break up because they didn’t love each other anymore, they did it because skating got in the way!”
“And you think skating won’t get in the way for them now?”
“No? They’ve both matured. They can find that healthy work-life balance.” Keiji says, and Seungmin tilts his head. “You do know that Riki lives here, in Nagoya, and we train in Montreal, all the way over in Canada.”
“Long-distance!”
“What are you guys talking about?” Taki asks, walking up to them, and a wide grin immediately spreads across Keiji’s lips.
Taki is quite literally known as the matchmaker in the group. It’s incredible how he can pick up on people’s feelings for one another even with just one interaction with the smallest hint of interest. Riki jokingly says that it’s because he has nothing to do better with his life, but Keiji thinks that it’s a gift from whoever’s above.
“Your friend and his ex.” Seungmin tells him.
“What about Riki and (Name)?” he asks, a mischievous smile on his lips. He looks at Riki, practising his twizzles on the rink. “Is he finally not in denial about liking (Name)?”
Keiji adds mind reader to Taki’s list of gifts.
“Yes. You must know him very well.” Seungmin says, and Taki nods. “I’ve witnessed every single part of their relationship. The beginning, the end, and now, finally, the return.” he says, feeling very proud.
“We should try and get them back together.”
“But Kazuha said that they’ll probably get back together on their own. I feel like my magical matchmaking services aren’t needed in this case,” Taki says, sitting down on the bench. “What a rare thing to say, I know. I think we just have to get (Name) out of her denial phase, and they’ll both just tell each other. They love each other too much to keep that a secret.”
Taki not meddling in a relationship for once? Keiji is surprised.
“You’re right.” Seungmin says. “Just sit back and watch for a bit, maybe. Then we can see how to go from there, right?”
“We? Coach, do you wanna be part of the plan?” Keiji asks, shocked at his coach’s response. He didn’t expect Seungmin to even agree with him meddling in your love life, much less wanting to get involved with getting you and Riki back together.
“(Name) deserves to be happy,” Seungmin shrugs. “You guys seem to think that he makes her very happy. Plus, I used to be quite the matchmaker a long time ago, back when I was in college.”
“That was like 5 years ago. Why are you talking like you’re 45?”
Seungmin rolls his eyes. “Shush, Keiji. When (Name) gets back, they’ll probably spend more time together. When we’re not training for Worlds, at least.”
“You’re right.”
“Hey Riki?” Taki calls out. “Yeah?” Riki replies, skating closer towards the three near the boards. “Are you planning to see (Name) anytime soon? Like after she comes back?”
“Yeah, why? She’s going to be training here anyways. She wants to go get strawberry cake at Mrs Kimura’s after practices.” Riki replies, brushing his hair out of his eyes.
Riki smiles at the thought of seeing you again. The three matchmakers standing near the boards, however, are smiling for a different reason.
THIRTEEN. skate guards
You arrive in Nagoya 2 days later.
Riki’s eyes light up when he sees you enter the rink, and it does not go unnoticed by Taki and Hikari. Taki silently giggles to himself, and Hikari just looks at you, before looking at Riki again.
Hikari has never said anything about your relationship with Riki, not even when you two were dating. The woman is also impossible to read, so Riki never knew if she approved of his relationship with you. She’d only scold him for being late, and saying that dates weren’t excuses to skip out on practice.
But he knew that Hikari didn’t dislike you.
“Hey!” you say, skating up to Riki. “Hey, how was your trip back?” he asks, giving you a side hug. Taki and Keiji give each other one of those looks, whispering amongst themselves, as Seungmin just watches your interaction from afar.
“It was nice! I actually bumped into your sister yesterday,” you chuckle, and Riki widens his eyes. Oh gosh, he really hopes Konon didn’t tell you about how he was basically rambling on and on about spending time with you at 4 Continents. “Don’t worry! She didn’t say anything bad. She just said congrats on the medal, and that the next time we’re both back our families should go and grab dinner together.” you say, noticing Riki’s alarmed expression.
Riki lets out a sigh of relief, and you look at him with an amused expression. “What, you thought she’d say something else?”
“No, no. I was worried she’d say something strange.”
“Like what?”
“Nothing.”
Riki says the word with such quickness that it makes you a little suspicious, but you brush it off. “So… how was your trip? I didn’t get to spend time with you then, so I figured you must be busy with family.”
“It was good. Bisco has been trying to romance Fudge. I’m unsure if it’s working,” Riki chews on his bottom lip as you laugh. “And I thought you were busy with family, so…”
“It’s okay. At least we get to see each other now,” you say, beaming.
His heart just does a strange flip, and his cheeks feel hot, face tinting pink all the way up to the tip of his ears. He blames the cold instead of your words.
“Yeah. We can go get strawberry cake after this?” he asks you, and you nod. “Of course. I’ll go get practicing now, since Keiji just seems to be… staring at us. Then we can maybe go get strawberry cake around… 3?”
“Of course. It’s a date.”
Riki then skates off, leaving you with your face feeling hot this time. It’s a date? You know he means that he agrees to the time that you’ve set for going to Mrs Kimura’s shop to get cake, but you know that it can also mean something very different.
You wish that he meant it in a different way.
You have been in denial about your feelings for Riki for a while now. The signs are all there — from thinking nonstop about the kiss, to his words and his actions making your heart flutter like it used to.
Oh, you realise. You still love Riki.
You don’t want to leave everything in the past. You want to continue where you two had left off 4 years ago. You want to hold Riki like you used to, hug him like you used to, kiss him like you used to.
You want things to go back to the way they were before.
You stand there in the middle of the rink, eyes following Riki’s figure as he skates across the rink, doing a gorgeous layback Ina Bauer as your heart thumps faster and faster.
Maybe things could all work out now. Just maybe.
You gulp, hand touching to feel your cheeks — they’re warm, and you tell yourself to snap out of it. You should hurry up with skating so you can go and spend more time with Riki.
You skate up to the boards, and Seungmin looks at you with a small smile on his lips. “So… Riki, huh?”
“Coach, come on. I wanna focus.”
“I was just asking! And yes, let’s focus.” he says, and you nod. “Keiji, get over here! Stop whispering to Taki.”
Keiji sighs, telling Taki that he’ll talk to him later. He skates up to you both, hands on his hips. “What are we doing today?”
“Everything, Keiji. It’s Worlds in less than a month, and we want that medal.” you tell him, and Keiji nods. “Come on, let’s go.”
You and Keiji skate away from the boards, and as you fiddle with the hair tie on your wrist, Keiji asks you about what you and Riki were talking about.
You immediately shake your head, saying that it’s nothing important with a soft smile on your lips. “Let’s focus now.” you say. You want to keep your conversations with Riki a little more private now, considering how you know that Keiji is prone to telling everything related about you and Riki to Taki.
During the practice, you don’t miss Riki’s occasional glances at you. When you catch him looking, he simply gives you a thumbs up, telling you that you’re doing great.
You thank him quietly, as Keiji struggles to hide the cheeky grin on his lips.
You also don’t miss Hikari telling Riki to focus on his own practice instead of yours as you and Keiji twizzle across the ice. There’s a soft smile on your lips at her words, for some reason.
Practice goes smoothly for Riki, for the most part. He does fall a couple times on a few quads, but during the final runthrough of his program for the day, he lands them all cleanly. Hikari gives him a nod in satisfaction, telling him that he did well. Riki thanks her, and she gives him a close-lipped smile.
He exits the rink, putting his skate guards back on. He spots your purple ones placed on the bench. You still use the same ones as 4 years ago.
“Um, Seungmin? Could you tell (Name) I’ll be waiting for her? I’m just going to get changed.” he tells your coach, who nods. “Of course. Have fun.”
Have fun getting changed?
It doesn’t register in Riki’s mind until he’s in the dressing room a few minutes later that Seungmin means that Riki should have fun spending time with you.
Riki exits the changing room after spraying some cologne on, changed into a hoodie and a pair of jeans. You’re the one putting on your skate guards now, and you tell him that you won’t be long.
He nods, waiting patiently next to the vending machine as he sees you disappear into the women’s changing room. You appear a few minutes later in a fresh change of clothes, smiling at him.
The sight of you makes his heart skip a beat.
“So… should we go?”
“Of course. Let’s go.” he says. He bids goodbye to Seungmin, Hikari, and Keiji — Taki is nowhere to be seen, for some reason.
You and Riki leave the rink together, leaving your bags at the rink since you two would come back later anyways. The walk to Mrs Kimura’s shop doesn’t take too long, since it’s just across the street. You haven’t seen the kind lady in years.
Riki pushes open the door, letting you enter first.
“Welcome!” the voice of Mrs Kimura makes you smile, and as you approach the counter, the old lady seems to recognise you. “Oh my. Is that (Name)?”
“Long time no see, Mrs Kimura!” you say, smiling brightly at her. Mrs Kimura walks around the counter, approaching you to give you a warm hug. “I haven’t seen you in ages! Oh, and Riki’s here as well! I didn’t know that you two got back together. That’s so sweet.”
“Oh, we’re not together, Mrs Kimura.” you say, chuckling awkwardly. Riki nods, and Mrs Kimura lets out a small ‘oh’.
“Well, sorry for misunderstanding.” she laughs, and you shrug. “It’s quite alright. You did see us come here often when we were together.”
“Yes, I did. You two were adorable together.” she beams. “So, the usual for you both? Strawberry cake?”
“Of course. That’s very kind of you for still remembering.” you say. “Riki still comes here often, after practice. Just you know, without you around.” Mrs Kimura says, looking at Riki, who’s gone to sit at the table closest to the window. That table was where you two would always sit whenever you came here.
“Oh, I see.” you say.
“He seems to have missed you quite a bit, over the years. I would ask about you, and he’d just tell me he didn’t know with this sort of… sad look on his face.”
You didn’t know Riki felt that way.
“But I’m glad you and Riki are talking again.” she says, as she cuts two slices of the strawberry cake. She places them on small plates, pushing them towards you. “Free of charge today.”
“Oh, Mrs Kimura, no. I’ll pay.” you say, and the lady shakes her head. “No, no, no. Just seeing you again after a long time is enough. I have missed seeing you almost every day, you know.” she replies.
“I’ve missed seeing you every day as well. And thank you so much, Mrs Kimura.” you say.
“He’s looking at you.” she whispers to you.
“Hmm?”
“I think he really likes you.”
You smile, looking back at Riki. “I think I really like him too.”
FOURTEEN. when the ice melts
As the World Championships inches closer, you and Riki find yourselves training more intensely each day.
The only time that you two can spend together without being stressed about preparations for Worlds is at Mrs Kimura’s shop, ordering 2 slices of strawberry cake like usual. You and Riki talk about everything but skating, such as Riki giving you updates on how Bisco’s mission on trying to romance Fudge is going.
According to his mother, it seems to be going well.
“Bisco is going to get a girlfriend before you do.” Taki says, taking a sip out of his water bottle.
Riki glares at your pairs partner. “Actually, I have exes.”
“Correction, you have one ex. Who just so happens to be standing next to you.” Taki gestures to you, who’s awkwardly standing there. You opt to give a thumbs up with an uncomfortable smile, making Taki burst out in laughter. “Yes… us… exes!” you say, and Riki copies your action, awkwardly giving Taki a thumbs up as well.
Taki laughs even louder.
“You guys are funny,” Seungmin says, placing his bags down. “Where’s Keiji?”
“Not here yet,” you say. “I’ll just practice some solo jumps?”
Seungmin nods, telling you that it’s a good idea. You tell Taki and Keiji you’ll get practicing before skating off, leaving the two boys and Hikari standing near the boards. “So… are you going to tell her?” Taki asks Riki, and the younger boy looks at him, feigning confusion.
“Tell her what?”
“That you like her.” Taki says, as the two boys watch you skate around the rink, before taking off into a triple loop. “What do you mean?” Riki asks.
“Don’t play dumb with me, Riki. I’ve been stuck with you since we were both 3 years old.” Taki nudges the younger boy, who doesn’t say anything. “I’m really not going to meddle with your love life this time. I swear. I know you and (Name) will get together on your own, so… I’m stepping away.”
“You’re acting as if being a matchmaker is your job, Taki.” Riki chuckles, and Taki shrugs. “It’s my part time job. I’m a full time figure skater, mind reader, and a part-time matchmaker.”
“Mind reader?” Riki questions.
“Yeah. I’m reading your mind right now, and your mind is telling me that you like (Name), but you’re too scared to tell her because you don’t want to screw things up all over again.”
Riki flips Taki off, who gasps, feigning offence. Riki despises how Taki knows him so well. Or maybe that Riki just isn’t doing the best job at hiding it.
“I don’t… what?”
“Riki, it’s just me. You can be honest with me.”
“You’re probably going to tell (Name) like you did all those years ago. Look, Taki — I don’t think it’s a good idea this time.” Riki sighs.
“Explain what you mean, Riki.”
“I… don’t think I should tell her how I feel,” Riki confesses. “Not only is it too early, but also, there’s a multitude of other factors that just tells me that if I confess, things might not turn out the way we want them to again. She lives all the way in Canada, I live here — our lives revolve around skating all day, and with the 13 hour time difference too, I don’t think a romantic relationship can survive all that, even if she likes me back. Plus, we’ve just started being friends again. Look… I would rather have her as a friend, than lose her completely.”
“Riki, but you really like her.”
“I know.” Riki sighs. “I always will.”
“But relationships are complicated. Love is complicated, even more so for people like us who dedicate our lives to our sport. I just don’t want to lose (Name) once again. Because at 4 Continents, I finally realised how empty life seemed without her in it. Those 4 years separated her were, no offence to you, and everyone else around, but less… vibrant, in a way. And now that we’re back in each other's lives… I don’t want to go back to how uninteresting and boring life was before.” he muses. Taki listens to him intently, his lips slightly downturned into a frown.
“Plus,” Riki chuckles. “I don’t even know if she likes me back.”
“Of course she does, Riki. What are you even saying? She looks at you as if you’re her entire world.” Taki says, and Riki smiles slightly. “That is a nice thing to say. I would like to get back together with her, if she did like me back.”
“But if not, I would rather things between (Name) and I to stay like this instead of… you know.”
Riki doesn’t know that you hear him say those exact words as you skate by the two boys. You didn’t hear the parts they said before, but you sure did hear what Riki said about wanting things to stay the same.
“What do you mean by you know?” Taki asks.
“Seriously, man? I would rather things stay like this rather than having no relationship at all. I thought it was clear, considering everything else I had said earlier.”
But to you, it is not clear at all. Without context of Taki and Riki’s previous conversation, you’re left thinking that you were wrong.
Riki really doesn’t like you back.
You feel your heart shatter a little at his words. You held up the tiniest bit of hope, and all this came crashing down with just one sentence from the boy’s lips.
But really, what did you expect? He told you that he agreed that it was a spur of the moment kiss at the hotel. He agreed to leave it all behind, and it seems like he held up on his part of the deal.
However, you didn’t.
Nishimura Riki twizzles right into your heart once again and ends up breaking it.
You should’ve expected this to happen. Falling for your ex boyfriend after only a couple of weeks of talking again? Sounds like a recipe for disaster. You were just stupid and foolish enough to think that maybe you and Riki could be a thing again, and look where it got you.
You try to rid your mind of the thought. It doesn’t hurt this bad. The breakup didn’t hurt like this. I should be fine.
To forget about the words that Riki had said, you decide to just focus on practicing your solo jumps. Keiji still hasn’t gotten here, and for once, you actually want to confide in him.
You then take off into a triple flip.
His words must’ve messed with your mind a little. You’re not as focused as you usually are, which is to be expected — so your body makes an impact with the cold, hard, ice.
Every fall hurts a little bit.
This one hurts a little more than usual.
When Riki sees you fall, he immediately skates over to you. “(Name), you okay?” he asks, worry laced in his tone. Somehow, him skating over to help you back up makes your heart twinge a little.
“Yeah. I’m okay.” you murmur, and Riki holds out his hand for you to take so he can pull you back up. You take his hand, and butterflies erupt in your stomach — even if you tell them to stop.
Riki doesn’t like you back, you tell yourself. He’s just really nice. He’s always been really nice. That’s why you fell for him in the first place.
“Careful,” he says, as you give him a smile that doesn’t really quite reach your eyes. Riki’s able to read you like he used to now, and he can tell that you’re not quite happy with something. “Yeah. I will. Thanks.” you say, before skating off, leaving Riki confused.
You were okay before. Did he do something wrong? Were you upset because you fell on the flip?
He skates back to Taki with a confused expression on his face. “(Name) seems upset.” he frowns, biting on the inside of his cheek. “Maybe it’s because she fell on the flip.”
“Maybe…” Riki trails off. But he knows you well enough to know it’s not that. Sure, you’d be a little disappointed, but you wouldn’t usually let it show on your face.
“Boys. Let’s get practicing.” Hikari says, and the two nod. Keiji just so happens to arrive, and you sigh in relief. “You’re here!” Riki hears you say as he pulls his black gloves onto his hands.
As Riki practices, he tries to not think about your upset expression. But, Riki is an overthinker — he just can’t help it. He hopes that maybe he’ll be able to lift your mood a little bit later, but the thought of you being upset distracts him a little, and Hikari notices.
Of course she would. She notices everything.
And when Riki lands a quadruple salchow shakily, Hikari decides to call him over.
“Is something distracting you? What’s on your mind today?” she asks him.
Riki looks at his coach, a little shocked. She never usually asks him about personal stuff. “No, it’s just… forget it. I’m sorry.” Riki says, and Hikari shakes her head. “Don’t lie to me, Riki. Worlds is in a few weeks, and I don’t want anything stressing you out because it’ll hinder your performance. Just tell me.”
Riki turns his head to look at you and Keiji, and Hikari understands immediately.
“Are you still in love with your ex girlfriend?”
“Coach, I…”
“It’s very obvious, Riki. Why is that bothering you then?” she asks. Riki sighs, rubbing the nape of his neck. “Because she seems upset. And I can’t help but wonder if I did something that made her feel that way.”
“Did you say anything?”
“I don’t think so. I wouldn’t want to say anything that would hurt her feelings, considering that I do like her.”
“Then you’re fine. Focus on skating. I can help you handle this.” Hikari says, and Riki looks at his coach, shocked. “What?” she asks.
“You’ve never talked to me about anything regarding my personal life. I’m just not used to this at all.” he confesses, and Hikari shrugs. “I’ve been your coach for the majority of your life. I pick up things that you don’t notice until later. Such as how when I knew immediately that you and (Name) would be together after you two started talking at Junior Nationals that year.”
“Oh,” Riki says. “I just… I don’t know. I like her a lot, but skating seems to get in the way.”
“You both need to find that work-life balance. As a coach, I should be telling you that skating is the most important. But, your relationships with others are just as important, and if you love her as much as you do, you should keep your relationship with her as a priority as well.”
“Okay.” Riki breathes out.
“Now get back to practice. I’ll talk to (Name) later.”
FIFTEEN. compulsory figures
Nagai Hikari has always intimidated you.
Riki’s coach stands at 5’1, but she is incredibly scary for some reason. The lady has a straight face almost 90% of the time, and you remember the times where she’d scold you and Riki for being late to practice with pure anger on her face. Of course, you understood why she was so angry, but that didn’t take away how frightening she was to you.
So when she asks you to talk after your practice is over, you’re a little bit scared.
Riki is somehow nowhere to be seen. He left the rink a little while ago, disappearing into the changing rooms — and you don’t think you’ve seen him leave, but you also don’t know where he is.
You know Riki isn’t that cruel to go to Mrs Kimura’s shop without you, so maybe he’s still in the changing rooms, or he’s gone off to somewhere else when you were too busy practising to notice.
“Um, what’s this about, Ms Nagai?” you ask her, as she pats the seat next to her, motioning for you to sit down. “Riki tells me you’re upset.”
You don’t know why his coach is telling you this, but you stay and listen.
“Um… I suppose so. Why’d he tell you?”
“He was distracted during practice today,” Hikari hums. “I figured it might be because he’s thinking about you.”
Your face heats up a little after hearing Hikari’s words. “And… why would he be thinking about me?”
“Because he loves you.”
Hikari gets straight to the point.
“That can’t be right,” you chuckle awkwardly. “I just overheard him saying to Taki that he likes how things are between me and him, and… he’d rather it stay like that then… you know.”
“Did he say what the ‘you know’ was?” the lady asks you.
“No?”
“The ‘you know’ is not even being in contact with you at all. Riki is scared of losing you completely if he tells you how he feels.” Hikari tells you. “You should go tell him how you feel, because after hearing what Taki and Riki were talking about, I don’t believe he will be the one to make the first move.”
“But how do you know that I still like Riki?”
The lady looks at you as if the answer is obvious, because Hikari really can’t believe you had just asked her that — you and Riki have never been able to hide any sort of feelings that you had for each other. “You look at him the same way you did when you two were younger. Like he is everything to you. He looks at you the same way. Don’t lose him again. And don’t hurt him.”
“He looks at me like that?” you ask her, and she nods.
“All the time. You just must have not noticed,” she says. You sigh, and Hikari frowns. “Why are you sighing? I just told you the words that you wanted to hear.”
“No, I know, Mrs Nagai — it’s just hit me right now that even if Riki and I continue our relationship from 4 years ago, things will be even more complicated and hard. The time difference, the flights, everything will be harder than before, and we couldn’t even survive that.”
“You two will make things work. You both love each other too much to not even give your relationship a second chance.”
The lady gets up out of her seat before walking away, leaving you to register everything she’s told you in your short conversation with her. So you had just misunderstood. Nagai Hikari knows Riki very well, arguably better than some of Riki’s friends, considering how she’s literally watched him grow up.
She has watched you grow up too, with you and Keiji training at this exact rink just with a different coach. She had been there when your relationship with Riki had sprouted, blossomed, then wilted.
Hikari’s silent observations prove to be useful to you. Riki loves you, she had said. Your heart fills with joy at the sound of that.
But now you know that you’re the one who needs to make the first move, and nervousness courses through your veins. The last and first time you’ve ever confessed to someone is after Taki had left it all out in the open. You two just whispered a meek ‘I like you a lot’, and then Riki asked you if you’d like to be his girlfriend.
You had said yes.
You don’t think the confession should go like that this time around. Your first confession lasted no longer than 5 minutes. Your first breakup lasted no longer than 5 minutes.
Love is special. It should be treated as such.
6 years ago, as a teenager and after Taki exposed your feelings for each other, you should have told Riki how crazily, stupidly in love he made you feel. You should’ve told him that every second, every moment you shared with him sparked this feeling of joy that you couldn’t possibly ever describe in any shape of form. You should’ve told him that there is nobody else in the world that you could ever imagine feeling this way for.
And 4 years ago, after you both came to the realisation that things weren’t working out, you should’ve told Riki that you wanted to try and fix things. You should’ve told him that even though everything was going south, those short moments with him that you managed to squeeze into your busy schedule was the only time you felt like you were at peace.
You should’ve told him that despite everything, you still loved him.
So this time around, you’ll tell Riki all the words you never got to say during your first confession, and during your breakup.
The words “I like you a lot” are not remotely enough to describe your feelings for Riki. You could write entire paragraphs about your feelings, and 5 words, 12 letters is nowhere near the length of a paragraph.
You get up from your seat, looking around to try and find Taki. When you do, you immediately run up to him, startling him a little bit. “Do you know where Riki is?” you ask him, and a sly smile spreads across his lips.
“You look like you’re in a hurry.”
“I’m not.”
“Okay. Well, he’s gone to see Rei. He says that she’s not feeling well.”
“Ah,” you say, pulling out your phone. Sure enough, there are a couple messages from Riki.
Rei’s throwing up, I think she ate something bad. Had to leave early to drive her to the doctor’s. I won’t be able to get strawberry cake with you at Mrs Kimura’s today, but I bought you a slice and dropped it off at Hinata’s apartment on my way to Rei’s. Hoping it lifts your mood a bit. See you tomorrow!
Knowing that Riki had even gone out of his way to buy you a slice of the strawberry cake and drop it off at Hinata’s apartment himself when he couldn’t go to the shop with you today makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
You can’t believe you’ve found someone like Nishimura Riki.
“What are you smiling at?” Taki asks you, even though he already knows the answer. Don’t worry about it, and thank you for the cake! Hope Rei feels better soon, you write, before tapping send.
“You know the answer without asking, Taki.” you say, before grabbing your bags and leaving the arena.
You return to Hinata’s with a bright smile, strawberry cake waiting for you and your feelings for Riki stronger than ever.
SIXTEEN. in every universe, 1Lo<.
Riki heads to the rink much earlier than he usually does on a Wednesday morning.
He’s hoping to get in more practice time today, since his practice was abruptly cut by Rei getting food poisoning, leading to Riki needing to drive his cousin to the hospital.
The streets of Nagoya are awfully quiet this early in the morning, and as Riki walks by empty streets with his headphones on, he quietly admires the city that he calls his home away from home.
The boy pushes past the doors of the arena, the cold air from the rink brushing against his face. It’s not possible for someone to be here this early in the morning — hell, he knows that even Hikari isn’t awake right now.
The boy quietly places down his bags, pulling his skates out. He puts his skates on, placing his regular sneakers into a shoe bag that he stuffs into his skate bag. Riki finishes lacing up his skates, and he walks over to his locker, shoving his bags in there.
Riki removes his skate guards before skating out onto the ice.
The ice has never felt so comforting to Riki, especially during preparations for Worlds. Perhaps he should start practising much earlier than he usually does.
But then he hears the doors of the arena open, and he curiously looks towards the entrance to see who would possibly come here this early, other than him.
It’s you.
He doesn’t know why something so simple, such as you walking through the doors makes his breath hitch. Butterflies flutter in his stomach, and despite how cold the rink is, Riki has never felt so warm.
You seem to spot him, and you hurriedly lace up your skates before skating onto the ice — seemingly not even bothering to put your skate bag away into your own locker.
“Morning,” you breathe out.
Riki doesn’t know how nervous you are.
“Morning.” Riki smiles at you, and just at the sight of his smile, you swear you fall in love with him all over again.
“How’s Rei?” you skate beside him, and Riki shrugs at your words. “She’s doing okay, I think. Her friend Gaeul’s taking care of her, since she knows I’m busy preparing for Worlds. I should go and see her sometime soon though, just to check up.”
Riki seems to suddenly remember something. “Oh, did you get the cake?”
“Yes, I did!” you say with a wide grin and a bright twinkle in your eye. Warmth blooms across Riki’s chest at the sight of your joyful smile. He’s glad he’s the one who was able to make you smile like that. “I’m glad Hinata didn’t eat the cake.”
“Me too.”
Then there’s just silence between you and Riki. It’s not a comfortable silence, but it’s not awkward, either. It’s just you, trying to get yourself to muster up the courage to tell him what you’ve wanted to say to him, and Riki, sensing that you’re about to tell him something, but nothing seems to slip past your lips.
Riki decides that he doesn’t quite like the silence. “Are you okay from yesterday?”
“Hmm?”
“You seemed upset. I got worried.” he confesses, looking down at his skates. A tiny smile appears on your lips.
“I’m okay. It was just me overthinking.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Is this the right time? you ask yourself. You don’t know what exactly to say. All you know is your feelings towards Riki are so strong that you just can’t keep it a secret anymore. You don’t have a clearly thought out paragraph to tell him how you feel, you don’t have anything rehearsed — all you have are your feelings.
“I love you,” you blurt out.
You just hope that your feelings are enough.
Riki stops in his tracks.
“I have never stopped loving you, and it’s killing me that I only realised a couple weeks ago. Less than 5 minutes seems like all the time we need to make major decisions regarding our relationship — but I don’t want 5 minutes. 5 minutes is too little for me to tell you how much I like you. It’s too little for me to tell you that even when we were 14 years old, with our eyes set on nothing but flashy titles and gold medals, I knew that you would be the only one that I could ever find myself having these types of feelings for. It’s too little for me to tell you that during those 5 minutes of our breakup, I should’ve gathered the courage to tell you to stay.”
You take a step closer to him. “And I know that with my confession, I’ve opened up hundreds, even thousands of doors of problems that could happen in our relationship. Staying as just friends would and could have avoided all that — but I don’t want to be just friends. Hikari is right. I love you too much to not even try and give our relationship a second chance, and I… I don’t know. I suppose that I should tell you that I wish that I didn’t propose the idea to leave our relationship all behind when you kissed me at 4 Continents. I wish that I didn’t tell you that it was all just a spur of the moment thing — I wanted it to happen. And after it did happen, I wanted it to happen over, and over, and over again.”
“I don’t know. Perfection is everything that we have strived for,” you mumble. “Every day, we are told to execute certain things to perfection. And I know that we’ll never be as perfect as we are on the ice. But I don’t need perfection when I have you.”
You pour your entire heart out. You’ve said every single possible thing that comes to mind, and your mind is now just blank. You don’t know what Riki’s going to say, what he’s going to do — all you know is that you could feel nothing but overwhelming joy in the next second, or overwhelming, crushing, heartbreak.
You can’t read Riki’s expression. He seems like he’s still trying to register all the words you had just said.
But then he tugs on the sleeve of your jacket. You look at him, confused — until you see the widest smile you’ve ever seen on Riki’s face.
“I love you too.” he beams, and you feel that overwhelming feeling of joy. You wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his chest to hide the stupid, lovestruck grin on your lips.
You look at him, and Mrs Kimura is right. He does look at you as if you’ve got stars in your eyes. “I was scared to tell you how I felt. Because I was worried that you wouldn’t feel the same way — and I couldn’t lose you all over again,” he mumbles.
“You’ll never lose me.”
Riki’s lips quirk up into a smile. “I didn’t want to forget about our shared history after the kiss. I guess that I’m just always too fearful to tell you how crazily in love I am with you.”
“I guess that makes us crazily in love with each other.” you whisper to him.
He nods, a breathy laugh escaping past his lips. Riki then leans in to connect your lips with his, and everything feels right. Everything has always felt right with you. The flavour of the minty lozenge from the kiss at 4 Continents is instead replaced with your strawberry flavoured chapstick, and Riki brings his hand up to slowly cup your cheek.
Your first confession was at this rink. Your breakup was at this rink. And now your second first confession and second first kiss is also at this rink.
This time, everything is exactly the way you had imagined it. Nobody is there to interfere. No words have been left unsaid. This time, it is just you and Riki, and you know that perfect is not an ideal word to describe things, given how much pressure the word alone in a different context holds — but everything is perfect.
Riki doesn’t know if soulmates exist or not. But if he did have one, he knew it would be you. You both are like two missing puzzle pieces that match perfectly together — as if he was made for you, and you were made for him.
When you both pull away, Riki rests his forehead against yours. “I watched a movie a few days ago,” he whispers.
“What was it about?”
“The multiverse,” he replies, lacing his hands with yours. “Hundreds and hundreds of different universes. And I thought to myself: in each and every universe, I would still want to find my way back to you.”
Your heart swells to the point where you think it’s about to burst at the seams. “And I would always want to find my way back to you, too.”
Nishimura Riki is yours, as much as you are his. He has never left your heart the second he twizzled his way into it, and you truly are surprised how it took you this long to accept it when everybody else (but Riki, too) had known that you two would eventually find your way back to each other.
Wherever you are in the world, I will search for you.
And as Riki presses another kiss to your lips, he knows that love is no longer some sort of mystery he cannot figure out anymore.
Riki realises that love isn’t as complicated as he thought. Love, to Riki, is you. It is the most simplest of definitions, and Riki knows the meaning will never change for him.
Riki may be still a quarter of a rotation off on that quadruple axel, but for love? Riki isn’t a quarter off at all anymore.
He puts love on pause, because he will only ever press play when he finds his way back to you. Love is no longer far away, out of reach, and only something Riki can dream of experiencing anymore. He is with you, your hand in his — and everything is right.
You twizzle your way right into Nishimura Riki’s heart all over again, and he knows you’ll stay there for a very, very long time.
AHHHHHHH!!!! this is EVERYTHING and a little more!
best part — 西村力.
© wonria — in which nishimura riki makes the decision to start attending university amidst his busy schedule, and soon realizes that it was the best decision he’d ever made, all thanks to you.
pairing idol!riki x fem!reader genre strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, angst, crack word count 11.2K warnings profanity, violence, arguments, riki loves the bee movie, mentions of underage drinking (not riki!!), slowwwburn
note this is a long one guys 😮💨😮💨😮💨 anyways first work on tumblr!!! reblogs are sososo appreciated (:
00. DAMN YOU, YANG JUNGWON.
For the first time in Nishimura Riki’s eighteen years of life, he’d missed school. He didn’t know he was capable of feeling such strong feelings towards a place he barely ever entered, but here he was, scrolling through college vlogs with a frown downturning his lips.
FOMO was a disease, and Riki had most definitely caught it.
He envied how the students had so much fun in a place as horrific as school, and finally understood why his members had constantly wished to re-live their school days.
He had been cooped up in his room—binging college videos— for so long that none of his members had seen him the entire day. Jungwon was the first to notice his sudden disappearance, knocking on Riki’s door. When he didn’t answer, Jungwon had let himself in, his face wearing a confused expression after seeing Riki’s state.
He had been on his couch, with a bag of chips to his left and his knees up to his chin, hypnotized by the video playing on the television. Jungwon followed his line of vision, disbelief painting his face upon realizing what was going on.
“Riki,” Jungwon spoke, snapping the eighteen year old out of his trance. He turned his head towards him, letting him continue. “What have you been doing?” His question came out in a small chuckle, still dumbfounded by what he had just seen.
Riki sighed. “I want to go to school.” He took the remote of his television, pausing the Korea University Festival Vlog he had been playing. Jungwon’s eyes widened. “All of a sudden? I thought you hated school.”
“You know, I thought I did too! I probably still do,” Riki paused. “I just, want to experience it, but you and I both know that’s impossible.” He referred to the psychotic nature of their fans, ENGENE, who would definitely perform the unthinkable once they got their hands on the college Riki would attend, if he were to attend.
“Why don’t you ask the company?” Jungwon proposed, his voice optimistic, as opposed to Riki’s replying deadpan expression. “Are you going deaf, or did you just miss the part where I said that would be impossible?”
“You won’t know that until you ask,” Jungwon refuted, still positive as ever. “Who knows? The company might say yes, and they’d make sure of your safety if they do.”
“When have they ever insured our safety?”
“…Touché, but still!” Jungwon was insistent in pushing this crazy idea, for reasons he couldn’t even understand. “C’mon, Riki, there’s no harm in asking. It could be fun! You could make friends,” Jungwon nudged his shoulder, eye brows rising and falling repeatedly, “maybe you could fall for someone—”
“That’s enough, Jungwon,” Riki cut off his member’s delusions, following up with a scowl. “I’m not going to ask, this whole college thing will probably blow over in a few days, so please, let it go.”
Jungwon sighed, accepting his defeat. Riki was a stubborn guy, so once he speaks out on something, there was no changing his mind no matter what. “Well, I can’t force you to ask, so I’ll let you be,” the twenty year old kept a small smile on his face, making his way out the room. “Don’t sleep too late,” he joked as he shut the door, not waiting around to witness Riki’s eyes roll in response.
Riki knew himself better than anyone. Of course he would, there’s nobody who’s been around to know him well enough than himself. Despite knowing this, he couldn’t help but wonder if Jungwon could be right. What if he did ask his company to let him attend university? What if they said yes? What if it was actually everything he’d been admiring through a screen?
Safe to say, the boy was conflicted, for the first time in a long time. Damn you, Yang Jungwon.
“So what if, hypothetically, I were to ask you if I could start attending university, and I would be, hypothetically, really desperate,” Riki started rambling to his manager, Min, who was looking back at him blankly. “If this were the case, hypothetically, how would you respond?” He was not slick at all, Min knew exactly what he was doing.
“So, you want to attend college?”
“This is hypothetical, Min,” Riki whined, “just answer the question, please.”
“Well,” Min decided to play along with his “hypothetical” scenario, “I don’t see the problem in going to college, except for the fact that your safety may not always be guaranteed, and that your schedule might keep you from attending a lot of the time.”
“So I can go?”
“I’ll bring it up at the next meeting.” At this point, Riki knew that Min was answering non-hypothetically, but it didn’t bother him, especially after finding out that he had a shot at attending university. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He squealed, rubbing his hands together excitedly. Min shook his head, chuckling from Riki’s endearing reaction. “Of course,” he finished, leaving Riki alone with his thoughts.
He wasn’t planning to get so enthusiastic about the situation, but his heart managed to overpower his actions way more than his brain could, and he was hyped up in a way words couldn’t express. Maybe this would be fun, just like Jungwon had told him.
01. HYPEN PEOPLE..?
“What the hell is an ENHYPEN?” The name sounded so bizarre, it made you laugh. Your best friend, Nora, stared back at you, shaking her head with a deadpanned frown on her face. “Are you seriously telling me you don’t know the ENHYPEN?”
You shook your head. Pop culture was never your thing, you focused more on the fashion world. So when Nora started freaking out over a new student that was apart of a K-Pop group you couldn’t even repeat because of how odd it sounded, you could only stare blankly. “Why is an idol attending university so important? I don’t get it,” You asked. You furrowed a quizzical brow.
Nora sighed. “This is like, if Adriana Lima joined your yoga class,” she explained, mentioning names you would recognize. “This is a huge, huge deal!” It was then where you realized that this idol guy was probably super popular, and that classes tomorrow are going to be an utter disaster.
You couldn’t have been more correct. Walking onto campus, cameras were flashing like crazy, and hundreds of people were crowded outside the university’s entrance. Your eyes widened. “No way this many people are bunched up on a Monday for an idol,” you were in shock. Nora nodded, an I told you so smirk curling her lips. “Are you kidding?! This guy is one of the most recognized dancers in K-pop!”
“I would think he’d be a little older if he were that recognizable,” you argued. “I bet if you put him in front of an elder, they’d be puzzled.”
Nora shook her head. “His group is crazy viral. Did you know they’re the global ambassadors of PRADA right now?” She knew that would get you.
“Oh. Woah.”
“Yeah, woah,” Nora finished, parting ways with you to head to her classes, “See you later, girl.”
“Yeah.. see you.” Now you were interested in this idol. How could someone not only represent one of the most iconic brands in fashion, but also be an insanely-talented performer? It was intriguing, you wondered if you’d ever see him on campus one day.
Think about it: the chances of this guy being in your year, in your classes? Very low.
What you learned after today, was that even if the odds are low, they are never zero.
Your first class of the day was more packed than usual. You managed to find a seat in the back, where, thankfully, nobody was. You always preferred having your space during class, which was why you almost always went to the back seats for lectures.
The door of the lecture hall opened, revealing a tall guy with a presence so strong, the hall went silent. His outfit was well-styled, you thought. The black jacket he wore with baggy pants of the same color, layered with a grey hoodie under, along with hair that almost looks like it was done professionally.
You were impressed, you guessed he must’ve been majoring in fashion like you were. If that were the case, though, why had you never seen him before?
“Listen up everybody!” Your professor, Mr. Kang, gathered everyone’s attention. “As you all may know, we do have a new student here on campus. I ask you to be mature, and not act un-orderly near them.” He referred to the guy next to him, who, although stood six feet in the air, looked very small at the moment. So he was new.
“Moving on, take out your notes from the last lecture…”
The new guy quickly walked to the back of the room with his bag. Unfortunately, there weren’t that many free seats in the back like usual, the only free spot next to you. He sighed before sitting beside you, being careful not to disturb you.
He took glances at you from time to time, taking in your appearance. You didn’t do much with your outfit, putting on a tube top with baggy jeans and a jacket, but you made it look good. You were pretty.
A voice took him interrupted his staring.
“Prada,” the voice gasped quietly, their eyes trained on the logo sewed into his backpack. Your eyes were wide, it was then you realized who you were sitting next to.
“You represent them, right?” You continued, eyes moving to look at the guy beside you. “I— Yes?” The question was so sudden, it caught poor Riki off-guard. You took notice of this right away, going on quickly to apologize. “Ah, I’m so sorry!” you whispered, “Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay,” Riki panicked, shaking his head. “You’re with those K-pop guys, right?” You started, voicing your thoughts aloud. “The.. Hypen people!”
“…Hypen people?” Riki chuckled, he’d never heard that before. “Wait no— there was something before it, hold on..” You stuttered, mentally cursing yourself for not keeping this to yourself.
“ENHYPEN?” Riki helped you out, and you sigh in relief. “That’s the one! And you’re the dancer guy my friend was talking about, right?”
“I’m Ni-ki, but you can call me Riki.” He holds out his hand, and you shake it, going on to reply with your name. “I take it you don’t know much about K-pop,” Riki asked, and you nodded.
“I only found out you existed yesterday, I’m not that in-tune with all of that business.” That was humbling on Riki’s end. You scratched your neck sheepishly. “That’s alright,” he responded, “I can fix that.”
“Can you, now?” You smirked at his confidence.
“Watch me, [Name].”
02. A FIRST DAY TO REMEMBER
You and Riki were not paying attention at all.
Normally, you’d be able to focus during classes, since studying was therapeutic for you. However, with your new seat mate in the picture, and his newfound determination to teach you about the world of K-pop, there was no way you could even think to participate in the lecture.
“Wait, so, let me get this straight, you debuted from a survival show? What kind of dystopian bullshit is that?” Riki chuckled at your surprise, although he knew you were completely right. “Yeah, it was not fun, but it was totally worth the hard times.”
You shook your head in disbelief, unable to fathom how someone could endure such hardship and almost trauma at such a young age. Come on, he did all of that at fourteen years old? You almost broke out into applause.
“Anyways!” Riki whispered, quiet enough to hide his voice from the ears of the professor, but just loud enough for you to hear him. “I should show you some of the music now.”
“How would you play music right now?”
“Headphones, obviously.”
“You know those are forbidden in here, right?”
“WHAT?!” A loud whisper from Riki had you covering his mouth in haste, a small gasp leaving your lips at the volume of his voice. “God, Riki, not so loud!”
“I’m sorry, but how are headphones forbidden? They help me focus!” You shook your head, replying, “Professor Kang believes that they are a distraction, and are unnecessary during lectures, hence the big No Headphones! sign towards the door.”
“Aw, man,” he grumbled, his lips forming a small frown. “I’ll show you once classes are over, then” he quickly got over it, continuing, “Would the library be fine?”
You shot him a deadpan look.
“Yeah, it felt stupid after I said it, nevermind.” He scratched the nape of his neck, a sheepish smile on his face. “We could go to your house!”
“Riki!” You gasped. It was far too early in your friendship to invite him to your house; you just met the guy. “I’m out of ideas! I’m not good at making friends with normal people!” His frantic whispers made you hysterical, cracking you up at the back of the lecture hall. “Riki, we could just go to a café or something.”
“Too public.”
“A convenience store?”
“I think that might be worse than a café.”
“An alleyway? I don’t know!”
“Woah, I didn’t know you were a troublemaker, Miss [Name].”
“What do you do during the day?” You spoke in frustration, your hand running itself through your hair. “Do you just perform all day and sleep?”
“Well, I’m mostly at the company building, practicing and whatnot, but I— Wait!” His eyes widened in realization, “The company building! I can take you there!”
“Oh, no way, Riki,” You waved your hands at him, quick to disagree. “That’s too grand for a hangout!”
“Are you kidding? It’s the perfect place to hang out!” He laid his head on the table in front of him, turning to face you with a pleading look. “Just trust me, [Name], people hang out with their friends there all the time!” That was a lie, barely anybody hung out with friends at the company unless they were both idols under the company, but you didn’t need to know that just yet.
“Alright, fine,” you sighed. “But if I get caught going in with you and I get attacked, I will never speak to you again.”
“Aye, Aye, Captain!” Riki’s head sprung from the table, imitating a soldier salute to you right after. You chuckled lightly.
Then the professor dismissed the lesson soon after, “Perfect timing,” Riki smirked. “Let’s get going, friend!”
“If I run away right now, you’d probably catch me right away, right?”
“That was a lot of rights, but yes, I would catch you.”
You rolled your eyes before walking out of the hall with Riki, his shoulders purposely bumping yours every once in a while.
“This song is everything, Riki!” You were in shock. Matter of fact, shock might be an understatement for what you were feeling at the moment. Never in your life did you think you’d be listening to a K-pop song, and loving it, at that. “It’s my favorite track on the album,” He smiled, glad that you enjoyed Brought the Heat Back just as much as he did.
“I see why,” you nodded. “Also, the styling is insane, who styled these outfits?”
“I’m not sure, to be honest. Probably our stylists.”
“Oh, wow.” Everything about that song, from the stages to the music video to the song itself, was simply incredible. “Who is that?” You pointed to the member that was currently in the center of the choreography formation, small beauty marks decorating his face as he sung his part.
“That’s Sunghoon, why—”
“Wrong. That’s the love of my life.” You kept rewinding the performance video, going back five seconds to replay Sunghoon’s part again and again. “He has such pretty moles!”
“Hey, I have moles, too!”
“But are you Sunghoon?”
“….You’re mean.” You chuckled at his sudden sulking, ruffling his styled hair. “I’m just kidding, you big baby.” You took time to search his face for the moles he had mentioned just a moment ago, immediately noticing a small one under his lips. “Your moles suit you, too, I guess.”
“You guess? That won’t do, I’m kicking you out.” He shook his head, immediately going to pick you up from the couch you were currently sprawled on in his practice room. “Wait, Riki, put me down!” You laughed as he started walking towards the door, trying to literally kick you out.
“You take it back!”
“Fine! Your moles are decent-looking! Please put me down!” You were eventually able to push yourself off of him, meeting gazes with him as the two of you laughed your asses off.
“AHH, WOMAN!” The door suddenly sprung open, revealing a stunned ENHYPEN before Jungwon slammed the door right away. Your laughter quickly ceased, and you looked to Riki, who was looking back at you with a confused expression on his face.
“Were those your—”
“Yeah.”
A knock on the door came, the voice of Jungwon following along with it. “Can we come in?”
Riki looked you for confirmation, and you just shrugged. Who were you to deny them access into their own practice room, anyway? He walked to the door of the practice room, letting his members in as you started gathering your stuff from the couch.
From the corner of your eye, you saw the members of ENHYPEN coming in one by one, and, God, you almost passed out watching Sunghoon walk in. “I can see you, [Name],” Riki mumbled suddenly from beside you, going to help you with your stuff. “Fuck! You scared me!” You paused for a moment to clench your chest with your hand.
“So when did you suddenly decide that you were leaving?”
“Since the moment your members came and looked all intimidating.”
“And by members, you mean Sunghoon?”
“That’s not the point.”
Riki shook his head with a chuckle, still going to see you out of the building nonetheless. “I had fun, [Name]. This was a first day of college to remember, for sure.”
You smiled, waving to him as you began walking away. “Bye, Riki!”
He stood there, watching you walk away until physically could not see you anymore. He sighed, a small grin on his lips as he turned to go back to the practice room, not expecting to see Jungwon waiting behind him.
“Fucking Hell!”
“A first day to remember, huh?” He smirked, his hand going to Riki’s shoulder. “You’re telling us every single detail when we get upstairs, you know that?”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He rolled his eyes playfully, as he had not one negative bone in his body, especially not after today.
Perhaps the small bit of negativity he had within had come from you having to leave so soon.
03. SWEETS
“Holy shit.. Holy shit!” Nora exclamations only increased the more you told her about yesterday’s situation. “So, let me get this straight, not only did you meet the Nishimura Riki, but you made friends with him, went out with him, and met his members?! When’s the marriage?”
“I’m gonna ignore that last part,” Your face scrunched up in a small disgust. Of course, you enjoyed Riki’s company, and he was pretty funny, but after all, you did meet him yesterday; dating him was out of the question. “Was that his full name you said just now?”
“He never told you?”
“It never came up.”
“Wow,” Nora exhaled, disbelief etched into her features. “I can’t believe yesterday happened. Are you two going out again soon?”
You shook your head. “I truly doubt it. He wasn’t in class today, so I’m guessing he’s busy today.”
Nora sighed, “Ah, that makes sense. Can’t expect a guy like him to be here every day.”
Her words had you thinking all of a sudden. You made sure to keep yourself a proper distance from Riki so that you wouldn’t get attached. After all, he wouldn’t always be free, and getting clingy would only drive the two of you apart. Noted.
“Wanna have lunch at the local café today? I miss my croffles,” Nora asked, not forgetting to shoot you a pair of puppy eyes. “I’m not saying yes because of the puppy eyes, never do those again.”
“But is it a yes?”
“I, too, really want some croffles right now.”
“Woohoo!” Nora clapped her hands softly, skipping out of campus with her arm linked with yours.
The two of you suddenly stopped at the entrance. “What’s with all the cameras?” Nora’s head tilted in confusion, her brows furrowed. “I wish I knew,” you replied, looking at the camera crew that stood outside the café. “Are they shooting a commercial or something?”
One of the directors suddenly made eye contact with you, and signaled for you to go inside. You were hesitant, but still walked in with Nora.
The café was you and your best friend’s personal favorite. Not only was their coffee top-tier, but their specialty, croffles, or croissant-waffles, were unbelievably tasty.
Yet, when you met gazes with the seven members of ENHYPEN behind the counter instead of the usual baristas, all you wanted to do in that moment was run out of the building. However, there was no backing out of this, and you proceeded to the counter to order.
A member who you remembered to be Sunoo was taking your orders, and he was super sweet. You were shocked when you heard it was his first time working a part-time job, he was a natural. You didn’t think he’d recognized you yet, since he was surprisingly calm in front of you, and you prayed to the heavens that he wouldn’t notice.
However, the lingering gaze of Riki had caught your attention, and it made you incredibly nervous. The second yours and Nora’s orders were paid for, the two of you quickly went to find a table.
Nora didn’t spare a second. “Hello, what was that?!” She whispered, hoping the members wouldn’t hear her, and you shrugged. “Why are they suddenly working at a café? I thought they were singers!”
Nora shook her head, “They’re probably filming for En O’ Clock.”
“…En-O-What now?”
“Oh, God,” Your best friend chuckled, “It’s their variety show that they have. It’s basically just them playing games or doing random challenges to keep fans entertained while they prepare their next album.”
“Oh wow.” You didn’t know what to say. You knew being an idol was a handful, but you didn’t know that this much work and planning was put into everything they did.”
Nora suddenly tensed, her expression stiffened as her eyes darted behind you, catching you by surprise. “Nora, why are you—”
“Fancy seeing you here, sweets,” an arm suddenly wraps around your shoulder, the seat next to you being occupied by none other than Nishimura Riki.
“Wow, petname basis already, Nishimura? Don’t you think you’re moving a bit quick?” You play along with his sudden flirting, a smirk on your lips.
“I’m a man of haste,” he fires back with a wink, catching you, and Nora, by great surprise. You exchanged looks of surprise, amusing the guy beside you. “Anyways, where did you learn my full name? ‘Cause I never told it to you.”
“I think you forget you’re world-famous, Riki.”
“Me? World-famous?” He gasps, a dramatic hand on his heart, “I’m all but a mere barista!” You punch his shoulder playfully, and he laughs in response. “And you must be Nora, right?” He turns to Nora, his hand out for her to shake it.
“That’s me,” she chuckled awkwardly, shaking Riki’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Ni-ki.”
“Please, we’re friends now! Call me Riki.”
“Oh! Well, alright!” Nora’s dry responses were, though a bit painful to watch, extremely funny. You let out a small giggle, covering your mouth with your hand. “I think your food is ready, I’ll be back!” Riki got up from his seat, going over to the counter to pick up your orders.
“So, sweets?”
“Shut up.”
“Since when has he been calling you with petnames?” Any time Nora would hear about you and Riki, she’d always get super giddy, living her fangirl dreams through your interactions with him. “Since right now!” You whispered, “I had no idea he was this bold!”
“You better used to it, he’s an insane flirt.”
“Oh, lord.”
“Who orders this many croffles for themselves?” Riki suddenly chimed in from behind you, again. “Oh, my god!” You flinched at his voice, snapping your neck to look at him. “You get scared really easily, Miss [Name]. You should get that checked out.” You rolled your eyes as you helped him set the food on the table. “Anyways, I’m guessing you have a crazy sweet tooth.”
“Is that why you keep calling me sweets?”
“Well, yes. I also just want to,” he smiled, “but that’s a big part of it. I mean, come on— five croffles? Are they that good?”
“Are you kidding? They’re delicious, try some!” You took a knife from the table, cutting the croffle into a small piece before picking it up with a fork, passing it to Riki. He took a bite, and his eyes widened.
“Right?”
“Please invite me the next time you and Nora come here.”
“I thought cafés were too public?”
“I’d risk it all for these croffles, holy shit!” He quickly sat down, turning to you. “Can I eat one of your croffles?”
“Sure, whatever.” Riki smiled, cutting up a croffle from your plate, eating the pieces with the fork you’d given him. “Riki, you kind of took my fork.” He realized that you had been staring at him eat, and he quickly apologized, handing you your fork back and running to grab another one.
“He gave you his fork?” Nora gasped.
“It was my fork first.”
“And then he ate from it, and now you’re eating from it.”
“Nora, please.” Your best friend chuckled, shaking her head as Riki came back. “How’d you get back so quick?” Nora asked, a quizzical expression on her face. “As I said, I’m a man of haste.”
Conversation had flourished as the three of you ate together. Eventually, you’d ended up sharing the majority of your croffles with Riki, and you knew you weren’t going to hear the end of it from Nora, kind of similar to how Riki was going to be bombarded with questions by his members after the shoot was over.
Everything felt so natural, so peaceful, Riki had completely forgotten he was filming, and he didn’t care at all. There was no place he’d rather be at that moment than here, at the table with you and Nora, hanging out together.
“Riki, we have more customers!” Jay yelled from behind the counter, making the boy look back with a sad expression. “Okay I have to go now,” he sighed. “I’m going to leave my phone here with you guys, open the case!”
“Riki, what?”
“Bye!” He sprinted away, catching you and Nora by surprise. You chuckled with her, going over to take the case off his phone. You were met with a small piece of paper inside the case. You quickly unwrapped the note, reading what it said.
010XXXXX, text me ;) — nrk
ps: make a group chat with nora in it, we need to all hang out together again!!!!
“What does it say?” Nora walked over to you, looking over your shoulder to read the note. “Oh my god, Oh my god!”
You looked back at the counter, immediately meeting gazes with Riki. “Idiot,” you mouthed, to which he replied with a small chuckle. What a guy, Nishimura Riki.
03 1/2. THE GROUP CHAT
the three musketeers
opened 12:09AM
you: alright who came up with this name
riki: isn’t it cute?????
you: no
riki: oof.. tough crowd 😓
nora: LMAO
riki: everyone CHILL it’s not bully riki hour
nora: i fear it actually is.. 12:09 is bully riki hour
riki: YOU TOO??? i thought we were friends nora <\33
nora: i am loyal to [name] and [name] only 🫡
you: heh
riki: i gagged..🤢 nora get well soon
you: gagged your ass 😂😂😂 im her fr
-> 12:10AM — riki left the conversation.
nora: I CANT
-> 12:10AM — nora has added riki to the conversation.
riki: why
nora: because
riki: i understand
you: ???????anyways nora are we on for a movie marathon in two weeks
nora: OH MY GOD YES I’VE BEEN WAITING LETS DO IT
you: OKAY YES
riki: would you like to come riki? WHAT, ME? OF COURSE!!!
you: 😅😅😅whoops
riki: nono stand on that
riki: i’m pulling up to your house with a stink bomb
you: GOD NO IM SORRY RIKI PLSPSLSPSLS COME TO MOVIE NIGHT IN TWO WEEKS
riki: wow thanks!! ☺️☺️
nora: bro’s a master manipulator
riki: QUIET.
04. A LITTLE WHITE LIE
“You were so right, Jungwon!” Riki chuckled on the living room couch as Jungwon shook his head with a smile, taking in his younger member’s endearing acts. “These past few months have been so fun; I can’t believe I barely attended school in the past!”
“School is a good experience, believe it or not,” Jungwon shrugged, and Riki nodded in agreement. “So, tell me more about your little friend group. I know you’ve been talking to them nonstop.”
“Oh, yes! [Name] and Nora! They’re so funny, and they always…” The boy had been ranting without realizing, and Jungwon couldn’t help but laugh. It was cute hearing about the time you and him nearly burnt down Nora’s apartment trying to make your own croffles, and the time he had beat you and Nora in an intense round of Dress to Impress during what was supposed to be their movie marathon. He loved hearing all about it.
The truth was: Riki hadn’t been as lively lately. Before he started going to college, he’d been gloomier than usual, barely leaving his room and sleeping whenever he got the chance. Jungwon had proposed the idea to Riki so that maybe, just maybe, he would get that boost of energy he’d been needing for so long.
He was happy to see that Riki was having a good time at university, and almost felt indebted to you and Nora for reigniting back that spark of his that’d been dying out.
“They’re good friends, [Name] and Nora?”
“The best of friends.” Riki smiled, suddenly turning to his phone when it lit up with a notification from the three musketeers group chat. “Is that them?” Jungwon pointed to the phone, and Riki nodded. He watched as he texted with his friends, almost shocked at how immersed he was in the conversation.
“I’ll let you be.” Jungwon left Riki in the living room, walking back to his room.
the three musketeers
-> opened 8:38PM
nora: ALERT ALERT JAE HUANG IS THROWING A PARTY ON SATURDAY ‼️‼️
riki: who???😅😅
you: oh gosh
nora: jae huang is probably the most ICONIC party thrower on campus
nora: like seriously guys those parties are crazy fun
you: i’m not a big party person tho 😕😕
riki: sounds fun😈😈 i’m in
you: what.
nora: riki. you’re an eighteen year old in one of kpops biggest boybands
riki: i wouldn’t say biggest..😟 more ‘on the rise’
you: YOU CANT ATTEND THE PARTY😭😭
riki: WHY NOT
nora: i think you underestimate jae huangs parties… way too many ppl attend those and you’d be recognized right away
you: and how would it look if we brought you to a college party and paparazzi caught whiff of it
riki: guys seriously i’ll be fine😭 i already asked the guys and they’re fine with it as long as i don’t drink
nora: they agreed that easy??
riki: yes!! so there’s nothing to worry about!!! i’ll be there
you: ginger ale all night. maybe fanta if you want something strong.
riki: got it 🫡🫡 im more of a sprite guy though
you: gingerale and sprite
riki: does this mean you’re coming?????
you: somebody needs to babysit you🤷♀️
riki: … i’m gonna ignore that and just assume you’re coming bc u want to have fun!
nora: this is going to be a blast AHHH [NAME] LETS GO SHOPPING
you: i cant wait🫤🫤
Riki actually hadn’t asked the guys to go to the party, knowing the obvious answer would be no and maybe “Are you crazy?!” But he was determined to attend, he just had to lie a little.
A little white lie never hurt anybody, right?
“Holy fuck, is that Ni-Ki from ENHYPEN?!”
“No way…”
“Whatever, let’s drink!”
You had no clue who Jae Huang was, but he threw a mean party. Music blasted through the entire house, all the laughter and screams nearly overpowering the speakers.
“Something tells me that this house does not have ginger-ale,” Riki gulped.
You nodded nervously. “Tell me about it.”
It took about five seconds for Nora to get lost in the swarm of people in the house, her shiny dress immediately disappearing from your line of sight. “Oh, God,” you shook your head, and Riki laughed.
“The one and only Nishimura Riki!” A loud voice suddenly came from behind the two of you, the voice being none other than Jae Huang himself. You and Riki made eye contact for a brief moment, you shrugging before Riki went to greet Jae. “I hear you’re quite the party-thrower around campus,” he chuckled awkwardly, dabbing Jae up. “Ah, it’s nothing too big, just a small gathering.”
You mumbled to yourself, “a small gathering?” You shook your head immediately.
“This is a lively gathering,” Riki nodded, taking in the scene. “Who is this you came with?” Jae looked over to you, and your eyes widened in surprise. At the mention of your name, Riki's eyes lit up, immediately pulling you over to introduce you. "Oh, this is [Name]!" Jae grabbed your hand, kissing it as he introduced himself. “I’m Jae, nice to meet you, [Name].” You were quick to flush at the gesture, cheeks a deep red from the sudden action. “Mhm! Nice to meet you!” You failed to notice Riki’s small frown from beside you.
“Mind if I steal Ni-Ki for a moment?” You immediately nodded, letting Jae take Riki, his face quickly forming into a look of panic. He looked to you as Jae started pulling him away.
“No, I can’t!” He mouthed.
“I’m sorry!” You mouthed back, a pang of guilt suddenly hitting you. And it was almost as if it had been waiting for you, because as soon as you turned around, a glass bottle of beer stood in front of you, almost begging to be drunk.
You contemplated for a moment, was it a good decision? After all, you had to babysit, and someone had to be sober enough to call the cab (and it wasn’t going to be Nora).
“Ah,” you shrugged your shoulders, “One bottle won’t hurt.”
You should have stuck to babysitting.
“Want a drink?” Jae pushed a red cup of something that smelled so foreign it made Riki’s face scrunch in disgust. “You got soda, by chance?”
“I got you,” Jae took a can of sprite from the refrigerator, tossing it to the younger boy. “Ah, thanks.”
Riki was uncomfortable. Sitting on a couch with Jae and his friends, watching as they engaged in meaningless conversation. Seriously, what was so fun about knowing each other’s toe sizes?
The topic suddenly switched into something more serious, and it took everything in Riki not to sprint off that couch.
“You see that girl?” Jae pointed out one of the girls outside, dancing to the music that’s playing. “She’s hot!” Riki felt himself sinking into the couch as Jae’s friends laughed; this was not his crowd.
“Ugh, I need a girlfriend,” One guy said.
“Same, too bad everyone’s ugly,” Another guy replied.
“Hey, what about the girl you came with, Ni-Ki?” Jae turned to the boy, his arm around his shoulder. “What was her name, [Name]? She’d be fun to play with.” Riki was almost dumbfounded at Jae’s words, disgusted at his train of thought. Is that all those guys see in women? People to play with? No way.
“[Name] isn’t a toy, Jae. Calm yourself.” Riki took the older’s arm off of him, inching away from him on the couch. It didn’t do much, as Jae only came closer. “Are you kidding man?”
“One night with her, and I’d be a happy man.” That was it. A crowd suddenly gathered around the two once Riki’d thrown a nasty punch at Jae’s face, going at him with everything he had. “Don’t fucking talk about her like that!”
It didn’t take long before the majority of the house was deserted, everybody bunched together near the entrance, and naturally, you followed the crowd.
“A fight? With who?”
“Apparently it’s the singer guy!”
“Ni-Ki from ENHYPEN?! Shut up!” If you were drunk before, those words definitely sobered you up. Blood drained from your face as you began pushing through the crowd. You needed to get to Riki, and get him out of that party now.
When you got to the front of the crowd, your eyes widened. Jae and Riki were going at it, and they were both bloody in the face.
“Shit, is the famous one winning?”
“I don’t know, man. Jae’s got him good.”
“Eh, I think it’s a tie. Jae’s about to pass out, but dancer dude is perfectly stable.”
“He should’ve known not to drink so much before getting into a fight.”
“Who cares? This is crazy!”
You shook your head, running to Riki. “Riki!” you yelled from behind, and he quickly turned around. “[Name]?” Jae took this as the perfect time to take a swing at Riki’s face, landing a strong punch on his nose. “Fuck!” He turned back to Jae, sent one last impact to his cheek, and thankfully, he tapped out, flying to the couch.
“God damnit! I had my money on him!”
You stomped over to him, grabbing his wrist. “What the hell is your issue?!” Riki remained stoic, shaking your hand off. “It’s nothing, let’s go.”
“You think you can just walk away from this, Ni-Ki?! With that fucking whore?!”
“Hey, watch your mouth, asshole!”
“Riki, let’s go!” You had to drag him out the house before he went another round with Jae. You closed the door, leaving just you and him on the front porch. “What was that, Riki?! Why would you get into a fight with him?!”
“He’s a dick, that’s why!” He hissed. “He deserved everything that hit him!”
“God, Riki, do you realize how serious this is?! The public’s going to find about this, and you’re going to be in huge trouble—”
“I don’t care, [Name]! He said some fucked up things, and he got what he deserved, and that’s it!”
“I doubt it was that serious, Riki. Control your temper, for fuck’s sake!”
Riki laughed, shaking his head. Anger was obvious on his face, steam nearly shooting from his ears. “You should be glad I punched that asshole! This whole thing started because he thought it would be a good idea to start talking shit about you!”
“What?” You stopped, brows suddenly furrowing. “[Name], Jae said some really bad things, and it got me upset.” Normally, you’d hear him out, and apologize for lashing out, but with the current tension in the air, and the gallons of alcohol in your system, the only thing you could do was keep yelling.
“Who asked you to defend me?! I could have handled that myself!” You shouted, running a hand through your hair in frustration. “Give me a break, [Name]! With the way you were looking at him, I guarantee he could’ve sweet-talked himself out of trouble!” Your eyes widened. “What do you mean ‘the way I looked at him’?”
“You looked you wanted to eat his face off the second he kissed your hand!”
“What does that have to do with anything? I don’t like him like that, Riki!”
“It sure looks like you do!” He started walking off the porch, and you quickly followed behind him. “What is this about, Riki? Seriously, talk to me!”
“No, [Name]! I’m done trying to explain myself to you. It’s not like it’s working out anyway; You keep defending fuckass Jae, anyway!”
Tears were filling your eyes, the intensity of the argument getting to you. “I’m not defending him, I’m looking out for you!”
“You aren’t! You’re completely ignoring the fact that I did all of this to protect you, and instead coming at my throat for beating up your precious boy.” He turned to you with a scowl, almost disgusted by your presence. Riki sighed, “Have fun with him, [Name], I give up. I’m leaving.” He walked away, and you let him.
You quickly called Nora, and left with her in a cab soon after. Your head was pounding with everything going on, and it didn’t help that you were insanely tipsy.
Getting to your apartment, you immediately broke down into tears, sliding down your door with your face in your hands.
After tonight, you had no clue what was going to happen. And what you were sure of, was that you were dreading classes tomorrow.
05. SUE ME, HEESEUNG!
“It’s one in the morning, where have you been— What the fuck happened to your face?” Jungwon gasped at the sight of Riki’s face, bruised and bleeding. “I really don’t want to talk about it, I’ve had enough for one night.”
“Yeah, had enough doing what? Why the hell are you all beat up?!”
“Jungwon, please! Give me a break!” Riki suddenly lashed out, the events of earlier leaving him in a hostile position. “I shouldn’t have listened to you, I knew this wouldn’t work out!”
“Hey, no,” Jungwon scowled. “You don’t get to be angry right now. You show up in the middle of the night bleeding from your head with a black eye, and decide to blow up at me? The fuck did I do?! Do you know how much trouble you could be in if anyone saw you like that?!”
Riki held his head in frustration, his anger numbing the pain of all the bruises on his face. “I don’t care about what the public sees, Jungwon! I couldn’t care less!” He held his index finger up, pointing it in Jungwon’s face. “You want to know what you did, Jungwon? You convinced me to go to college, to make friends, to fall in love with someone, and I did! I fell in love with an asshole!”
Jungwon gasped. “Riki…is it [Name]—”
“Don’t even mention her name near me. I’m over it.” The boy shook his head, stomping towards his room with a huff. “Riki, we aren’t done discussing this!”
“No, I think we are, because I am!” He slammed the door, making Jungwon inch back at the noise. Even so, he wouldn’t give up, because this was how Riki was. He would hide all his feelings, and explode if he was pushed too far.
Normally, Jungwon would let Riki figure it out on his own, but right now, he could tell that he needed to be comforted. He slowly walked to his door, knocking on it.
Riki’s voice broke. “Jungwon—”
“You don’t have to tell me anything, just let me in.” Hesitantly, he opened the door, tears running down his cheeks as he sniffled softly. “I fought for her, literally. I fought for her, Jungwon, and she didn’t even care! She just blew up at me, some shit about my image; she didn’t even notice!” Jungwon patted the boy’s back as he fell to the floor, his sniffles shifting into loud sobs.
He’d never seen Riki cry this hard in his life, and it was heartbreaking. “I’m so sorry, Riki.” Jungwon sighed, his chest aching as he watched the boy beside him almost yell out in agony.
Hiatus. Riki had been put on hiatus.
It didn’t take long before the news spread all over the internet, and BELIFT was quick to handle the rumors, both confirming them and announcing that Riki would be put on hiatus until he could “control himself.”
Not only that, the poor guy was grounded.
After the rest of his members and his manager had found out about what had happened, they’d become livid. Not only had he gone to a college party, with alcoholic drinks, without their knowledge, he’d also decided to throw a few punches at the obnoxious host, who could not keep his mouth shut after the incident. After a long discussion with the members (Riki not included), they’d decided that letting Riki go outside with all these rumors was not a good idea.
And so, he was put on house arrest, grounded, punished. His phone was confiscated, he was suspended from his college campus, so even if he tried to escape, he couldn’t go to school and try anything, and his manager managed to take his shoes, all of them, so that he couldn’t go outside unless he was willing to walk out barefoot.
It seemed that he had it bad, but little did he know, you had it worse.
“[Name]! Over here!”
“How did you manage to enchant Nishimura Riki, [Name]?!”
“She isn’t even all that..”
“Bro, Ni-Ki couldn’t come up to me instead? I’m literally his type!”
Straight up torture. You had no clue how Riki did it. How he dealt with press and their snoopy selves like it was nothing, like it wasn’t so, so fucking annoying. Nora had her arm around your shoulder, guiding you to your classes as you could barely squeeze your way through the formed crowds on campus.
It didn’t take long for everybody to know what happened. After all, gossip spread fast at your university, and with an idol added to the mix, best believe people were filled in from the moment that party concluded.
And with gossip comes rumors. Lots of ‘em.
“I heard that she was two-timing Ni-Ki and Jae Huang!”
“No way! That little whore!” soft giggles came from the halls as students stared at you with Nora.
“You think she knows ENHYPEN?”
“Oh my god, I actually need Jake’s number, let’s ask!”
As if you’d been possessed, and Jesus had taken the wheel, you turned on your heel, running out of campus, through the whispering crowds, through the paparazzi, leaving Nora dumbstruck in the halls.
“Huh? [Name]!” By the time she had gone to chase after you, your figure was nowhere to be found, disguised amidst the tons of people outside. “Fucking hell.”
Clips of the ambush on you spread like wildfire on the internet, ENGENES scrambling to figure out who it was that “sabotaged their Ni-ki’s image.” You could only sit in your apartment in complete silence, only the sound of your sniffles being heard in the room.
Of all people that this could have happened to, why you? What was it about you that Riki found so interesting that he just had to talk to you?
You thought back to the argument you had with him, your face scrunching up in confusion.
“What does that have to do with anything? I don’t like him like that, Riki!”
“Well, it sure looks like you do!”
You thought the entire situation was uncalled for, especially this part. Why was he so concerned about whether or not you liked Jae Huang? If he really knew you, he would know that you’ve never once showed interest in the guy.
For fuck’s sake, it’d be more believable if you suddenly said you had a crush on Riki!
His name gave you migraines, both of them. You couldn’t believe what you had gotten yourself into, what he had got you into.
Never again. Like, ever.
The only entertainment Riki had was the television screen in his room, which, thankfully, had cable on it. Unfortunately, however, he only had two channels: Cinemax, and SBS News.
It was nine o’ clock at night, but he wasn’t tired yet. The boy was convinced he’d already seen all the movies on the movie channel at least thrice, and was so bored he decided to turn on the only other channel he had. He switches to the news channel with a sigh.
“…Olympian An Se-Young wins gold at the badminton competition, Oh! And breaking news, K-Pop fans have found out the identity of the girl who has seemingly put ENHYPEN’s Ni-Ki on an indefinite hiatus, saying that her name is [Full Name]. According to popular belief, she had…”
The television proceeded to show videos of you being bombarded by paparazzi on campus, calling you names, yelling questions at you, along with the clip of you running home shortly after. Riki couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and felt powerless.
Hearing what they called you, seeing your information all over his TV screen, it made him sick to his stomach. And knowing that he was the one who caused this made him feel terrible. He knew that he wasn’t able to leave the dorms since his shoes were confiscated, and even if he were to leave, chances are you wouldn’t even open your door for him.
He could only bring his knees up to his chin, sighing as he continued to watch. It was painful to see you so distraught; he hadn’t seen you like this before. It stung even more when another video played, this time a video of her apartment door, painted with messages that read Stay away from Ni-Ki! and Whore! in bright red marker.
He swore that he would learn to control his temper after the party, but looking at the video, he couldn’t stay at the dorms any longer.
Of course, he couldn’t go to your place. With everything going on, there was no way in hell you would open the door for him, but he knew someone who might.
He’d packed a luggage filled with at least a week’s worth of clothing, and waltzed into Heeseung’s empty room, picking up the first pair of slippers he came across.
“What the hell? Where are you going?” Walking out to the living room, he met gazes with said Heeseung, who was boiling ramen for himself.
“I’m leaving.” Riki responded nonchalantly, walking over to the kitchen counter to take a face covering. “Um, no, you’re not. You can’t leave.” Heeseung argued, shaking his head.
“Well, I have to go! Sue me, Heeseung!” He grabbed the face covering, and grabbed his luggage, and stormed out the dorm, making sure to take the stairs so the other members wouldn’t catch him in the elevator.
He walked for a good hour and a half, paying no mind to the weird stares he got by civilians. After long, he arrived to the apartment building, ringing up a random apartment with the excuse that he had a delivery so that he’d be let in.
He stopped at the door, a small sigh leaving his lips. What if she didn’t let him in? What would he tell the guys? Where would he stay then?
He shook his head, hesitating before knocking on the door. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long before the door opened, revealing a stunned Nora in front of him.
“What the fuck?”
06. RIKI AND NORA’S GRAND SCHEME
“Nora, hi..” Riki chuckled nervously, gulping at Nora’s stern expression. “No,” her hand went to close the door, but Riki quickly stopped the door before it could go completely shut. “Nora, please,” he begged, “I have nowhere to go.”
“You can’t go home? You know, where you actually live?”
“The thing is.. I ran away.”
“…Then go back?”
“I was grounded.”
Silence filled the hall for a good two seconds before Nora burst out into laughter. “At your big age! You got grounded! This is so funny!” She slapped her knee, and Riki could only roll his eyes. “Well, now you understand my situation, so can I please crash here for a couple of days?”
Her hand went to her chin, rubbing it as if she were pondering. “On one condition.”
“What?”
“You tell me what really happened between you and [Name].” Riki tensed at the mention of your name, and Nora was quick to notice. “Jesus.”
“She hasn’t told you?” Riki questioned, and she shook her head. “All I know is that you punched someone, I don’t know why, though. She also hasn’t told me why you two are disagreeing right now.”
“It’s a long story,” Riki looks a her with a small sigh, “I can tell you if I come in.” Nora rolls her eyes, “Fine, but you will leave no details out.”
“…Oh my.” She was rendered speechless, her only reaction being a small gasp. “So, you like her? Like, like-like her?”
Riki nodded. “Yes, I like-like her.” He was still coming to terms with the fact that he’d fallen for you.
He had realized during the movie marathon a few weeks back that he’d felt something for you, but only let himself accept it after the party.
FLASHBACK — A FEW WEEKS AGO…
“Oh my god, that outfit is horrendous, Riki!” You and Nora broke out into tears, the giggles leaving your mouth making Riki sulk. The three of you had been playing a random dress-up game you found online, and what you noticed was that, despite Riki’s impeccable fashion sense in real life, he did not know how to style himself in games.
“Oh, come on, guys! It’s not even that bad!” Riki whined, still pressing buttons to get his character to pose on the runway. “Are you kidding?” Nora started, “The full fur combo? Rookie mistake!”
“Hey, I’m a PRADA ambassador! It’s abstract!” Not even his brand deals could save him from yours and Nora’s teasing, as you continue to laugh out loud because of his outfit. “I quit!” He put his phone down on your couch, kicking his feet. “We should be watching movies right now, not bullying me!”
You shook your head, endeared by the boy in front of you. “Okay fine, you big baby.” You ran your hand through his hair, ruffling it with a laugh, and Riki found himself awestruck by you.
Was it the way you laughed, or how safe he felt under your touch, or how pretty you looked with your Snorlax onesie and your hair tied? He wasn’t sure, but he felt a warm feeling spread throughout his chest, and up his neck, heating up the entire area.
He suddenly leaned into your touch, moving his head to your shoulder as he grabbed the remote, “I vote for The Bee Movie!”
“No!” You and Nora shouted in unison, and he could only laugh.
TIME SKIP — PRESENT TIME…
“Lord, I hated that movie,” Nora shook her head at Riki’s taste in films, and, like always, he laughed again. “You don’t get it like I do!”
“Anyways..” He started again, his tone going serious, “the real reason why I came here was to ask you for help. With [Name].” Nora tilted her head, puzzled, and Riki continued.
“I saw everything that was happening to her on the news, and I was so worried. I felt terrible for causing her so much trouble, but I couldn’t apologize since I didn’t have my phone.”
“They really grounded you, huh?”
“I’m being serious, Nora!” Nora nodded with a small chuckle, signaling for him to continue. “So I was thinking that you’d help me apologize to her… in person.” Nora’s expression stiffened, in deep thought.
“I don’t know, Riki..” She sighed. “She won’t even fully open up to me— no offense, but if she won’t talk to me, there’s no way she’ll talk to you.”
Riki’s head hung low, his prior optimism slowly deteriorating. “I wish I could help you, Ki, I’m serious. I just don’t know if I can.”
He sat quietly for a moment, before speaking again. “Do you really think I’m that much of a lost cause?”
“She was really hurt that night, Riki. She’s still hurting, maybe worse than before.” Nora turned to him, a sudden glint of determination in her eyes. “I can’t say for sure if she’ll forgive you, but I’m willing to try for you.” Riki’s eyes lit up, and she smiled.
“You’ve become such an important person in her life; I truly haven’t seen her so upbeat until she met you, and I never want her to lose that momentum she has right now, so if you’re the one who can bring her back, then I’ll try my best to get you to her.”
Riki was beaming, immediately pulling Nora into a tight hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” His smile was uncontainable, you could practically hear that grin when he spoke.
“Okay, Riki— You’re choking me. Riki!”
The plan was simple: Nora would ask you to hang out, and hopefully, you’d say yes, but instead of meeting up with her, Riki would show up in her place and save their friendship.
It was so easy, yet Riki still managed to screw it up. How?
ynnnnnieeeeee
-> coversation opened at 3:12PM
nora: [nameeeee] 😕 how r u doing
you: i’m as good as a girl being harassed by the public can be!!! not very good
nora: im so sorry babe :// this whole thing sucks
you: yeahhh but what can i do
you: i made the decision to associate myself with a popular guy 😂😂😂😂 regretting it heavy rn
nora: cmon [name] dont say that
nora: you know he is ur best friend,, you can’t just let him go so easy
you: WRONG! he WAS my best friend before he decided that he knew what was best for me
nora: [name]😕😕😕 how abt i take ur mind off things for a bit
you: ????
nora: your fav beach, 5pm today😉😉 you know u want to
you: ugh you know me so well😭😭 i didn’t even know i told u that
nora: what can i say 🤷♀️ anyways SEE U THERE!
you: see ya :))
big rik
-> conversation opened at 3:17PM
nora: [two screenshots] she lowk hates you rn but riki and nora’s grand scheme is a GO!!!
riki: HELL YES (FUCKKK😭💔💔)!!! she liked the beach idea right 😎😎😎
nora: dude she loved it so bad how did u even think of that
riki: she mentioned it to me a few weeks back and she was super passionate about it 🥹🥹 it was so cute
nora: ewwww loverboy im vomitting
riki: yeah bc i gagged ur ass
nora: …..
riki: THOUGHT SO!!!
Five in the afternoon was slowly approaching, and Riki made sure to get there before you, leaving the house at roughly 4:30 to beat you there.
Unfortunately for him, he’d made it at the same time as you, but you hadn’t seen him yet, even though he’d seen you.
You looked tired, your eyes bloodshot red, your feet practically dragging along the concrete as you walked, it was heartbreaking.
As if it couldn’t get worse, you’d been bumped into by a group of guys on the same sidewalk as you. Just as you were about to enter the beach, you were stopped by three guys, both of them oddly familiar. Then, you recognized them as Jae Huang’s friends, the same Jae Huang who’d—
“Well, if it isn’t Korea University’s top whore!” One of the guys laughed, the rest following along. “Wait until Jae hears about this— God, you look terrible!” You looked down, trying to walk past them, but one of them quickly pushed you back, causing you to stumbled backwards.
“C’mon, babe,” one of the guys started, “you don’t want to hang with us? Don’t be like that.” You nearly gagged, the sight of the three guys making you sick. Why did this have to happen to you?
“Please, can I just go—”
“You’re so annoying!” Another guy grabbed you by the wrist, yanking you away from the beach as you tried your hardest to wriggle your hand out of his grip. That was— until you were set free.
“That’s enough, you three.” You turned, shocked at the familiar voice. “Riki?”
“Aw, look! It’s prince charming coming to save you once again!” the three guys laughed, but Riki remained still. “Let her go,” he demanded, but they didn’t budge, keeping you in their grip.
“Not so fast, buddy. She’s ours.”
“In what world? Utopia?” Riki chuckled bitterly, shaking his head. “That Jae Huang really doesn’t learn,” he walked up to the guy holding your wrist, and harshly pulled his hand away, catching him by surprise. “What the fu—”
“Now, I want you to send Jae a small message for me, can you do that?” He had the man held by the collar, frightening the other two. They’d been there to see Jae’s ass get beat by Riki, so they knew not to get physical with him.
“You tell Huang to stay the fuck away from [Name], or I’ll make sure he never shows his face again.” He let go of the guy’s collar, and the three ran off, scared shitless.
He was quick to turn to you, eyes widening when he noticed you walking away from him. “[Name]! Wait up, please!” He gently placed his hand on your shoulders, stopping you in your tracks. “Please, just let me explain everything.”
“Where’s Nora?!”
“What? She’s at the house!”
“‘The house?’ What, are you two roommates or something?”
“What? No! Only for a little while until I’m ungrounded— That’s not the point, [Name]!” He sighed, the nerves nearly eating him alive. “I’m about to say a lot, so make sure you’re listening.”
“Wha—”
“I’m sorry, [Name]. Really fucking sorry.” He sighed. “When I was at the party, Jae had said some weird stuff about you, and it pissed me off, and I punched him. I didn’t know that the situation would escalate, and I really should have thought about how this would hurt you before I did anything. Now you’re being assaulted in public, being ridiculed for no reason online, and it’s all my fault. [Name], I feel terrible.”
“Riki—”
“No, [Name], let me finish.” You stopped so he could continue. “I’d understand if you still didn’t want to talk to me, but I just want you to know that you’re so important to me, and despite everything that’s happened, these past few months have been the best months in my life, all thanks to you. I truly do care for you, and I hate to see you hurting, so please, keep your head up, if not for me, then for Nora. Don’t let the public get to you— they like to break you down until you can’t get up, but I know you, and I know that you’re strong, and you’re better than all of them. I know you’ll be able to bounce back,” he chuckled, “you always do. Just never lose that pretty smile of yours, hmm?”
When he was met with silence, he nodded softly, turning on his heel to walk away when suddenly, you grabbed his wrist, engulfing him into the embrace he’d missed so much. He immediately wrapped his arms around you.
“Riki, I-I’m so sorry,” you sniffled, sobs getting louder the longer you stayed in Riki’s embrace. “You have nothing to apologize for, you could never hurt me.” He smiled, and you felt yourself mesmerized by the light in his grin. You nodded, slowly pulling away.
He held his hand out in front of you. “So, do you still want to go to the beach? It’s still light out.” You grabbed his hand, replying, “I’d love that.”
And the two of you walked down to the beach.
“You know, if my members find me, they might never let me outside again.”
“You’re an idiot, Nishimura.”
“Only for you, Sweets.”
07. BEST PART — FINALE.
“Nora, I’m out of clothes!” Riki paced around the living room, pointing to his luggage that now carried nothing but perfume and accessories. “I think that means that you need to go home now, Riki,” she replied, a small chuckle leaving her lips at his distress.
“You love seeing me suffer, don’t you?”
“It brightens my day.”
“Ugh!” Riki groans, running his hands through his hair. “How am I supposed to go home?! I’m going to get my ass beat!” Nora sighs, shaking her head. “Riki, you just need to go there and give them a damn-good apology! You obviously can’t stay here much longer.”
“Are you sure you don’t have any oversized clothes in your closet for me?”
“You’ve left me with no choice.”
“She kicked me out, [Name]! Like actually, kicked me out with her foot!” You laughed from the other side of the phone line, dumbfounded. “Now why would she do that?” Your tone was teasing, but Riki didn’t pick it up because of how badly he was panicking. “I don’t know! She wants me to go home, even though I’m going to get grounded again! Can you believe it?!”
“Okay, Riki, don’t freak out…” You spoke cautiously, “…but you know how you made me share my location with you?”
“Yes…it’s a safety precaution, why?”
“I don’t think you know this, but when I shared my location with you, it also shares your location with me.”
“Okay…what’s wrong with that?”
“Well, I may have shared your exact location to your manager, and he may or may not be coming to pick you up right now, please don’t kill me!”
“WHAT?!— Oh my god, I see his car!” You can hear panting over the phone, and can only assume that Riki is currently trying to outrun his manager’s van. “He’s right there, oh my gosh! This is it! My last words: “I died a warrior!””
“Ni-Ki, get in the car!” The last things you heard before the line got cut off were the sounds of Riki’s frantic shouts, along with the honking of his manager’s car. “Idiot,” You laughed to yourself, knowing full well that he was going to be just fine.
“You’re lucky you’re you, or else you’d be dead right now,” Riki pouted, shoving another croffle in his mouth, “Wow, these croffles are good!”
“Are you sure nobody saw you get the food from the café earlier? And nobody saw you come into my building? You’re still on hiatus, so I don’t know if you’re even allowed outside right now.” You spoke worriedly, but Riki was quick to shake his head. “First off, I posted a lengthy apology note on Weverse, and the ENGENES seem to be receiving it well, so I think I’m good! Also, I made sure to be very stealthy walking into the café.”
“So, about three ENGENES walked up to you?”
“Close, but two ENGENES.” You burst into laughter, wiping the tears from your eyes as you held your stomach. Somehow, Riki always knew how to make you laugh.
Matter of fact, he always knew how to make you happy, Riki made you happy. He watched you in admiration.
“Okay, movie time!” Riki announced, running to the couch to choose the movie. “We’re watching The Bee Movie again, by the way.”
“No more of The Bee Movie, please!”
“But, don’t you like jazz?”
“Riki!”
Eventually, the two of you had settled on How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, a rom-com classic, and were nearly finished the film. You had snuggled onto Riki’s chest (he pulled you there), and you didn’t object. You weren’t one for physical touch, yet you felt safe when you were near Riki.
“How do the actors not fall for each other?” You spoke your thoughts aloud, and Riki only hummed. “I’m not sure,” he replied. “Maybe they just aren’t made for each other.”
“But look at what Matthew McConaughey says about his experience on set with Kate Hudson! They seem so close— how did they not fall in love with each other?”
Riki shrugged, pulling you closer. “Maybe he didn’t feel that spark you feel when you’re in love. You know— when your heart beats out of your chest whenever you’re near someone, when you find yourself wanting to spend time with them all the time, wanting to spend the rest of your life with them, when you miss them the moment they leave you, and when your hands get all sweaty and clammy whenever you’re next to them. Maybe Matthew McConaughey just didn’t feel that with Kate Hudson.”
“Wow, Riki,” you chuckled. “You’re like, a love expert. Who’s the lucky girl?” He smiled, this was it, this was when he was going to say it.
“None other than the girl in my arms right now.” Your eyes widened, heat spreading from your chest to your cheeks. You sit up right away. “Me?!”
“Yeah, you,” Riki grinned from ear to ear, and you felt yourself slowly melting away. “When I first started thinking about attending university, I had my doubts, but when I met you, they all disappeared into thin air. You’re undeniably charming, and that spark I was talking about— I feel all of it when I’m with you, because I love you, [Name]. A lot.”
“Riki, I-” Your voice breaks, sobs threatening to escape after Riki’s confession. “I love you, too. A lot.” He chuckled, wiping your tears with his thumb. His expression softened, and slowly, he leaned in, “May I?”
When you nod, he connects your lips in a gentle kiss, cupping your face while you feel him smile against your mouth. The two of you pull away, and your cheeks are nearly about to burst with how wide your smile is.
“Will you be my girlfriend, [Name]?”
“Yes, I will, Riki.” He cheers and brings you back to his chest, leaning the two of you back on the couch. You laugh softly. “Now I feel like we’re in a movie, a rom-com of our own,” you start, watching the credits of the movie you had on roll.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Riki wishes he would stop smiling so much, but he truly can’t help it, he just loves you so much.
“It feels surreal, doesn’t it? The fact that we’re dating?” You nod in response, “if our life were a movie, I think this would be the best part.”
Riki shakes his head. “If our life were a movie, you’d be the best part.”
You giggle. “Always the biggest flirt, Nishimura.”
“You know you love it, Sweets.”
“Yeah, maybe I do.”
THE END.
taglist @sakiimeo @tinytan-gerine @riksboo @yangjungwonnie @heartheejake @lanapaz @heartsforjw @yourmyst4r @riksaes @yasssposts @catecita @onementally-unstabel-kid @forever-atiny @jxkluvr @sol3chu @istglevi-gotmesimping @moonpri @annoyingbitch83 @bee-the-loser (bold couldn’t be tagged!)
can i PLEASE PLEASE be added to the taglist? 🎀
WE MET ON HINGE!┆IT’S ON FACEBOOK
PREVIOUS ┆ MASTERLIST ┆ NEXT
MIKAELA’S! a cheeky chapter before things start getting actually juicy
SYNOPSIS! university golden boy sim jaeyun has a secret; it may seem as though he’s overtly focused on his studies, but he’s just using it as an excuse as to why he isn’t in a relationship. it’s not that he doesn’t want to, he just…can’t. in order to help jaeyun, his friends sign him up for hinge — an online dating app. pros? the ladies dig his profile. cons? jaeyun can’t seem to hold a conversation with the one girl he likes.
TAGLIST 1! @vocaloshin @ghostiiess @rairaiblog @dilrmma @jlheon @thing89 @3nh4sgurl @nokatzz @dojaejunging @coqhee @dammit-jjk @ilovejungwonandhaechan @jwsdoll @enhaslxt @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @dreamiestay @boyfhees @ounwoz @junislqve @jakeyverse @wonboni @lovebuglissas @mumeimei @sseastar-main @jaeyunluvbot @pupbistro @yoonzns @lilifiedeans @ohsehunskz @manooffline @beomsitez @ribbioniki @laurradoesloveu @naviiy @rikizm @soobs-things @unhakki @fertilizedtoesw @i03jae @heerinnie @mirustardiary @onlyseung @realrintaro @seongclb @heeheesang @sumzysworld @wonieleles @naurwayyyyy @jiyeons-closet @chanhee-hee @driedflowwr @thenastone @yoonights (OPEN)
THE CAR’S OUTSIDE ⊹ · YJW 양정원 WORK OF FICTION
🗯️ ━━━ 𝐲ou and jungwon have been stuck by the hip ever since kindergarten . he’d help you build your dollhouse , you taught him how to ride a bike . you were each others first kiss , you stood up to his bullies , he comforted you when you got hurt. 🎀🪽 𝓼o who could blame you when his dimpled smile and sparkly eyes got to your heart , making you feel unexplainable flutters one summer of middle school . you chalked it up to teenage hormones . but you couldn’t deny the unexplainable pain when he suddenly started to drift apart from you and set his eyes on new girls ... a new reputation that left your heart in pieces in stead ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 📺
GENRE. fluff, angst, childhood best friends au, high school au, written series, mid-length works.
P𝓐IRING. childhood bestfriend!yang jungwon x fem!reader, player!jungwon x classmate!reader, friends to strangers / enemies to lovers, sullyoon from nmixx + other female characters ( brief flings )
WARNING ׂ ׅ ' . jungwon and reader as kids playing around. jungwon becoming distant and meaner in highschool. player relationships, swearing, partying, drinking ( of age ), kissing, familial death, crying, jungwon shit-talk.
🎥 FEATURING! jay & heeseung 엔하이픈! sullyoon of NMIXX 🗯️ ILLIT YUNAH ( AESPA ) ningning and karina. the boyz sunwoo le sserafim chaewon. RICKY ZB1
DISCLAIMER this story is completely fictional, character portrayal is not based on the idols in real life. for the sake of this story, all the characters are the same age.
OOO. ❪ PRELUDE ❫ ❛ YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND, I LOVE YOU FOREVER. ❜ ━━━ best friend, never young forever. ( teaser! )
OO1. ❪ CHAPTER ❫ ❛ LOViN’ FROM AFAR. ❜ ━━━ 숨겨진 마음. you keep trying to get him out of your head, but why do you still like him after he turned sour. jungwon keeps trying to get away from you, but why are you sticking so sweet?
OO2. ❪ CHAPTER ❫ ❛ FOUR WALLS. ❜ ━━━ 당연한 장소 jungwon hates how familiar he feels in your room, he hates the comfort and your presence. he hates how you fit into his arms so right. he hates how his body yearns for your touch.
OO3. ❪ CHAPTER ❫ ❛ CLOSE THE WINDOWS. ❜ ━━━ 봉쇄된 마음. you hate how easily you fall. you want his attention at any time. even when it hurts so bad when he reminds you his heart is closed off, and worse, it’s only closed for you.
❪ BUNNY TALK ❫ been planning this for a while — so excited to release it finally ^^ this song makes me cry every time, I swear and it reminds me of all the angsty jungwon fics I read in 2021 - 2022 TT that era of won also makes me cry.. enough of my yaps, hope you enjoy guys!
❪ OO1 TAGLIST ❫ OPEN! fill in this google form, send an ask or comment on this post to be added! 🐇🪽
❪ PERM TAGLIST ❫ @w3bqrl @boowoowho @ahnneyong @kynrki @ixomiyu @yunki4evr @flwoie @bubblytaetae @ja4hyvn @dimplewonie @xiaoderrrr @trsrina @adajoemaya @stepout-09-15 zzegarki @ineedaherosavemeenow @lcv3lies @violetinferno @woncheecks @mijuuv @enhapocketz @hoonics @bubblytaetae @dimplewonie @isoobie @100203s @jiaant11 @yeomha @mosssi @j-wyoung @artstaeh @spilled-coffee-cup @cowsmicwu @nishislcve @laylasbunbunny @greentulip @enhacolor @hanniluvi
IEEEE THIS IS SO CUTE!!!!
MANEATER | SIM JAEYUN (M)
PAIRING: virgin!jake x yn (femreader)
SYNOPSIS: in which jake is tired of being a virgin and you're asked to help him out.
WARNINGS: smut so MDNI! vrignity loss, oral (m and f receiving), unprotected sex (be safe out there), creampie, riding, multiple orgasms, etc. cursing, words like slut/whore, BARELY PROOFREAD
WC: 5k, lowercase intended
MESSAGE FROM NIC: here it finally is!! (sorry for the delay) my first piece of smut,,, hope it's what everyone imagined 😁 (also tysm for 2k notes on the teaser ahh!!) big thank u to my stella, @karinasbaby for encouraging this fic, one of my biggest supporters ilysm. pls be kind as this is something new for me BUT feedback is super appreciated, tell me what u liked and didn't like! (respectfully) also reblogs would be nice as well so feel free to drop one. love u guys sm 🫶🏼
jake sim was a virgin. a pitiful, pitiful virgin. and it’s not like he was ugly. not even close to that. jake was an attractive guy, easy on the eyes. and his flirting? a real smooth talker he was.
it was as if 2000s chad michael murray possessed his very soul every single time he would chat up a girl at a party or in class.
so why couldn't he ever close the deal? how did he find himself in a steamy makeout session one second and then the next the girl is storming out of the room in disgust. every. single. time.
oh yea, because he was a fucking virgin. a pitiful, pitiful virgin.
it seemed like girls these days wanted a man in charge. someone who could help them live out their fifty shades of grey fantasies. jake would like to think he could do that for them but how could he ever learn if no one wanted to give him the time of day? what happened to the girls that would spread their legs for anything and anyone?
all jake needed was one chance. one chance to stick his dick in a hole and he can move on with his life.
his friends didn't make it any better either. he was getting tired of hearing all about their wild sexcapades every week and having nothing to contribute to the conversation.
but they don’t intentionally leave him out or make him feel bad about his lack of experience. they even try getting him with their past hookups because you know, sharing is caring right?
“dude no way you fumbled sora. she’s a real slut i was so sure she would let you hit,” sunghoon says as he’s unwrapping his sandwich then taking a bite. “bro i didn't fumble anything. it's the same shit every time, once i tell them im a virgin they dip,” jake responds while he steals sunghoon’s sandwich and takes a bite for himself.
sunghoon doesn't even argue, his best friend is clearly in distress and is need of some food. “she started ranting about how she doesnt “do” virgins because they get attached and she thinks im gonna become obsessed with her or something.”
“why do you even tell them you’re a virgin in the first place? if that's the issue why even say anything at all?” heeseung questions with a mouth full of the same sandwich that somehow now ended up in his hands.
“because if he cums in .2 seconds then the girls are gonna think he’s a bad fuck. there's no winning here.” jake nods in agreement with jay's statement as he watches jay snatch the sandwich from heeseung and finish it off.
this is what is so beautiful about their friendship. they share everything with each other, the main things being girls and food. unfortunately for jake, bites of food is all he gets.
—-----------------
“oh fuck!” jakes pants while bucking his hips forward. vision blurry, drool pooling around the corner of his mouth. he genuinely feels like his soul is leaving his body and he wasn’t sure this was even real life anymore. to ground himself and bring him back to reality, he tries looking around the room to find something to distract him.
he doesn’t want to cum embarrassingly fast and he does NOT want to be seen as a bad fuck. out of the corner of his eye he spots a baby yoda squishmallow in the corner of the room, its sparkly eyes watching jake get his dick sucked for the first time.
it’s kind of weird but he finds comfort in the plushie and focuses on it to keep him from fucking exploding.
now you might be wondering how he got here. in a hot girl’s room getting what he swears is the best head in his life (not that he has anything to compare it to.) the answer is jay, his best friend in the entire world who he now owes his first born to.
“her name’s yn. just text her and ask when she wants to meet. i told her you were a virgin already so don’t worry about that,” jay explains as he’s scrolling through your profile showing jake what you look like.
silky, flowy hair, curves to die for. to say you’re gorgeous would be an understatement. the whole ordeal seemed too good to be true.
“she wants to fuck me? even after hearing i’m a virgin?” jake asks after grabbing his milk tea from the counter and walking towards a table.
jay simply nods and throws a look towards sunghoon, signaling him to explain the rest as they all take a seat. “yea that’s kind of her thing. she loves virgins. like, her body count consists of only virgins.”
jake was perplexed by the situation. surely he’d hear about a beautiful woman who only drops her panties for inexperienced guys roaming their campus.
heeseung then speaks up, as if reading jake’s mind, “she goes to the college in the next town over. around a 20 minute drive.” before continuing his sentence he shifts his eyes towards jay and sunghoon. eyeballs darting back and forth.
some unspoken dialogue is happening between the three as they sip their sweet drinks and jake just has to sit there and watch. minutes go by and jay clears his throat and sighs, finally breaking the silence.
“she uh, actually took all of our virginities back in high school. that’s how we know her.”
pause. the fuck? he knew his friends all have gotten their dicks wet for the same girl before but at the same time? jake couldn’t believe what he was hearing. i mean, he did only just meet them three years ago, whatever they were up to before then he can’t judge.
he supposes desperate times call for desperate measures, and jake is sure he would’ve ended up in the same situation soon if they weren’t handing you on a silver platter to him.
“so… you guys had a foursome for your first times??”
heeseung instantly chokes on his boba as jake’s arm receives a punch from jay. a faint giggle is heard from sunghoon, “this bitch is choking on some balls.”
ignoring heeseung’s dramatics jay clarifies, “no you idiot, she took all of our virginities separately. we weren’t as desperate as you were.”
“and like, that pussy is so heavenly. i’d be pissed having to share her with another guy at the same time.”
“roger that, brother.”
jake looks towards the two, sunghoon rubbing heeseung’s back trying to calm him down from his almost near death over some balls.
“care to elaborate?”
“man why do you think we’re all sex crazed freaks? her pussy’s got some voodoo magic in it or something. our manhood didn’t begin when we watched porn for the first time together, it started with her,” jay pauses and shifts in his seat, slight discomfort in his lower region.
he looks up and pinches his nose, “fuck i’m getting hard just thinking about it.” sneaking a peek at jay’s lower half, jake can see his friend chubbing it up in his pants. nothing he’s never seen before honestly.
but what he hadn't seen before was how his friends were reminiscing so hard on a hook up the way they were right now. and the fact that their origin story of discovering their high libidos is all because of you? he was scared shitless of what he was about to get himself into.
-------------------
fast forward to some exchanged texts between you guys, jake found himself in your room with his pants around his ankles getting the life sucked out of him.
he quickly discovered you were very straightforward and to the point, immediately sending him your apartment address and what time to show up.
jake couldn’t argue though, all this talk about how you were gonna “change his life” and shit got him real worked up. he appreciated the fact that you skipped the small talk and went straight for his dick.
upon arriving and stepping into your living space, your lips smashed onto his and he was pushed down onto the bed. no hi, no hello. just your lucious, full lips swapping spit with his.
his hands instinctively flew to your waist, his digits gripping your plush skin as you straddle him. jake felt so in his element in the moment. making out? this is where he excels. he could do this all day if he could.
but he was here on a mission and he’ll be damned if he leaves without fucking you. or you fucking him. he was honestly down for whatever. you could ask to peg him and he would say yes.
you can sense his impatience, his face twisting in pleasure trying to savor every moment while the cogs are turning in his head, awaiting your next move. every squeeze he gave signaled that he wanted to get things moving.
you make your way down his body, peppering kisses any and everywhere leaving his skin burning. jake couldn’t believe what was about to happen.
in less than a minute he was about to get his first blowjob ever. what does he do? where do his hands go? what if he chokes you? what if he passes out from the stimulation?
before he can think of anymore what to do’s and what if’s, your mouth is on his dick and jake is seeing stars, figuratively and literally. he takes note of the little ones taped to your ceiling and thinks it’s cute.
the pink walls and plushies surrounding the two of you is such a stark contrast to your personality, or what little jake knows of you. but hey, he likes a woman with some duality to her.
“you can put your hands in my hair.”
jake finally takes a look down at you. pupils blown out, lips a bit swollen from all the sucking. you looked so, so pretty like this. he can only imagine what you look like with his cock in you.
trembling hands grab at your hair, slightly pushing you further down and a gagging noise emerges from the back of your throat. oh shit. your nose is practically meeting his pelvic bone and you aren’t letting up.
fuck it, jake thinks to himself. he was done with being patient. he starts fucking up into your mouth relentlessly, chasing the orgasm he was delaying. and you just let him.
you’re merely a hole for him in this moment and you could care less. his dick may be average in size but the girthiness of it was so delicious, you couldn’t get enough.
to make sure he reaches his high, you reach for his balls and start playing with them. his erratic thrusts combined with you squeezing his genitals he twitches in your mouth and his cum is shooting out, pooling out the sides of your lips.
and you don’t stop there. you keep going and going and jake actually feels like he’s going to pass out. “okay, okay please please!” you swallow everything he gave you and finally let him go with a pop to come up for air.
you get up and see him lying there on your bed, unmoving. eyes closed and mouth agape barely taking breaths. one might think he’s dead but this was typical.
once a guy gets to cum in a girl’s mouth for the first time they don’t know what to do with themselves. nudging him with your knee he breaks out of his trance with a lopsided smile adorning his face. god he’s adorable.
before you can suggest a break he immediately grabs you by the hips and flips you onto your back. your shorts go flying onto the floor behind him and he spreads your legs wide to prop them onto his shoulders.
his tongue immediately attaches to your clit and he starts licking you all over. slurping and sucking, as if this was his last meal on earth. he was desperate to get you to cum the way you made him and it was showing.
jake’s eating you out a little too expertly to your liking, as if he’s done this a million times. you won’t judge if he has, you’re literally the last person to judge someone’s sexual history but how is he still a virgin if he eats pussy this good?
he must’ve been met with horrible women who just used him for his mouth and left him dry. you wouldn’t do that to him though, poor guy doesn’t deserve that.
he inserts two fingers into your hole while his mouth was still working your clit. jesus christ. you didn’t notice before but his fingers were so slender and long, reaching places your own didn’t. “am i doing okay? kind of my first time.”
oh? so this was his first time eating pussy. you simply give him a nod of approval, not being able to utter a word as he dives right back in.
in all of your sexual encounters, never has there been a guy so willing to return the favor. and the fact that you didn’t even have to ask? where the fuck did jay find a guy like this? was he aware his friend was a fucking certified munch?
determined to make sure you cum, jake inserts another finger and moves his fingers in an upward motion, trying to find your spot. at least that’s what wikihow told him how to do it.
the sound of your moans and the taste of your pussy on his tongue simply feel amazing and he feels like he could come alone like this. at this point you’re panting and riding his fingers and god it’s so hot. you’re so hot.
jake finds himself humping into the mattress, trying to aid his painful hard on he’s grown since going down on you.
his wrist begins to ache with how fast he’s pumping into you but he doesn’t give a fuck, he’ll do anything to see what you look like when you reach your high.
“oh god, i’m, i’m- ahhh!” you come undone onto his mouth and hand, lips forming an o shape with the most pornographic moan he’s ever heard and he silently releases his load along with you onto the bed.
jake makes sure every single drop of your delicious juices are all licked up, driving your oversensitivity.
“so? how was i?”
you take a look at his annoyingly cute face and he’s licking all over his fingers like a lollipop. cute. gaining some of your composure, your eyes spot a wet spot on your sheets.
“wait, did you…”
“oh. sorry about that. i couldn’t help it.” jake explains with a sheepish smile and a scratch behind his head. not only is this guy a munch but he came untouched while tongue fucking you. you weren’t even sure guys like him existed, like at all.
without speaking another word, you grab the back of his neck and smash your lips onto his. tasting yourself on him has you wet all over again and you both begin to undress each other.
you detach yourself to take your shirt off and he pauses to fully look at you, drinking in every inch of your body. hands grab at your boobs and he pinches a nipple, a small moan escaping your mouth.
your body was literally to die for, the pictures on your profile barely doing you justice. and to finally be able to feel all around your curves and give your boods and ass tight squeezes was a dream come true for jake.
(he may or may not have been jerking off to the few posts you have up, counting down the days of you guys finally meeting but you didn’t have to know that)
you also took a moment to admire his body. to say jake was sculpted like a fucking greek god was an understatement, sporting a six pack and biceps to die for. veins running all over his arms and hands.
deciding it’s finally time to do the deed, you switch positions and motion for him to lay on his back. “are you ready?”
“wait! what about a condom?”
“i’m clean and i know you are so…”
“right.”
you throw your legs over his waist, now straddling him with your vagina inches from his cock. “okay, take deep breaths. i’m gonna slowly go down alright?”
jake throws a thumbs up and eagerly nods. in a moment like this he doesn’t fail to be endearing. you could literally just eat him up with how cute he was. your pussy was about to anyway.
you lace your fingers with his and slowly lower yourself onto him. there’s some intimacy with your actions and jake finds comfort in your eyes, looking at him adoringly.
it was finally fucking happening and jake couldn’t believe it. he was about to become a man. and the fact that it was you taking his virginity, a gorgeous woman who doesn’t care that he’s inexperienced and lets him hit it raw. it's really all he can ask for.
once your walls are wrapped around his tip, jake’s a goner. the little sweet moment you two shared is thrown out the window and he starts bucking his hips up into you, hard and fast.
his hands find purchase on your hips and he’s gripping them so hard you're sure there will be bruises tomorrow. you wanted to start out slow as it is his first time but it seems his thrusting says otherwise.
you press your hands against his chest and begin to move rhythmically in sync with him. jake’s eyes immediately roll back and his breathing quickens.
his hands fall to his side and he lays lifeless beneath you, letting you take full control.
all he could do was stare at the spot where his dick entered you and it was making him even more hornier. he couldn’t tell where he ended and you began.
your wetness didn’t help anything either. the squelching sounds indicated that you were very much enjoying this as much as he was.
“fuck you feel so good baby,” jake moans. the pet name that slips past his lips and it doesn’t go unnoticed but you also don’t question it.
for some reason the simple word made your heart jump. guys always called things like babe or even whore when they really let loose.
those never got to your head, you know they couldn’t really control themselves in the moment and you let them have their fun.
but jake has been nothing but kind to you this whole time, like he knew you were doing him a service and not the other way around.
this only fueled your desire to ensure that his sure first time exceeded his expectations so upped your menstrations. you quickly changed your pace to grind forward, backwards, and in circles making sure his dick felt every inch of you.
jake’s mind was reeling, his breath caught in his throat. he feels as if his dick was about to fall off with the way you were moving.
your body leans forward and you begin to kiss at his neck, leaving hickeys everywhere. your hot breath near his ear sends him into overdrive, must be a sensitive spot of his he never knew he had, but also how could he have known?
his hands that were once gripping the sheets meet your ass and he starts to guide you up and down his cock. you both were about to reach your climaxes, your pussy clenching with every move.
“i’m- where? fuck! where do i cum?”
“inside. cum inside me please.”
inside?? his first time cumming from sex and you were gonna let him do it inside of you? jake swears you couldn’t be any more perfect than you are right now.
you knew you threw him for a loop and honestly yourself as well. pushing these thoughts towards the back of your head you start riding him aggressively, even faster than before. “fuck, jake i’m cumming!”
“me too baby oh my god!”
and there was that damn pet name again. it makes your heart leap out of your chest and sends you over the edge.
the knot in your stomach snaps and jake follows shortly after, his load shooting into you. it pools out of you and you don’t hesitate to swipe some up with a delicate finger and bring it to your mouth, mirroring his actions from earlier.
your eyes meet his fucked out ones and you smile down at him, admiring the masterpiece of lovebites you left all over him. his vision was a bit blurry but he catches the way your lips curled upward, flashing your pearly whites.
jake finds himself instantly becoming hard again, call him easy but when a pretty girl is smiling at him like that after fucking him, can you really blame him?
you move yourself off of him and jake was fully expecting you to kick him out now but instead you position yourself on all fours, your ass in the air inviting him in.
“fuck. you’re into anal?”
you turn your head sharply to look at him over your shoulder, raising an eyebrow to question what he just said. the look you give him says it all and jake takes the hint and positions himself behind you.
“can we try anal next time though?”
an exasperated sigh leaves your lips and you reach over to grab his dick, inserting him into you. “umph! okay sorry.”
upon entering your pussy, jake relishes in the feeling of it. being inside your heat again leaves him breathless for the nth time today.
in and out. in and out. he tries to match his breathing with his gradual strokes. his member is extra sensitive right now and he’s trying not to lose himself. the impatience he had earlier has now moved onto you so you decide to take matters into your own hands and start fucking back into him.
your ass is now meeting his hips and the sound of skin slapping echoes in your room along with your moans. jake’s body is flailing from the sudden impact but he grounds his hands around your waist and grips the shit out of you.
he notices bruises forming on your skin but he can’t for the life of him let go. oops. he’ll do his best to remember to apologize for them tomorrow.
when there’s a good pace between the two of you, you fling yourself upward, back meeting his chest and the new angle has him reaching spots he didn’t before.
you take one of his strong arms and place it around your neck, having him choke you as you ride him like there’s no tomorrow. jake’s brain begins to turn to mush and he feels like he’s even more turned on at the revelation of one of your kinks.
and at this point you’re fucking onto him so hard, so good, he didn’t want it to end. “shit. shit. i love your pussy so much baby.” jake whines into your ear, meaning every word he said.
is it crazy to say you love someone upon meeting them for the first time? well, their pussy. yea. maybe. but who gives a fuck.
he was a man possessed by you, by your pussy. in this moment he truly believed there was some voodoo magic going on down there and he was blessed to be experiencing it.
you clench at his words, and your heart flips once more, prompting you to draw him closer to you (if that was even remotely possible)
the closeness of your bodies creates another intimate moment shared, kisses stolen from one another, hands tangled in his hair.
“i’m close,” he whispers in your ear, his breath leaving tingles down your spine. the hushed whispers you exchange contrast the sporadic thrusting that’s happening.
determined to reach your second high of the day, you push jake onto his back and settle yourself onto your knees, continuing to bounce up and down on his cock.
“yea just like that baby, shit shit shit i’m cumming, i’m cumming!”
jake opens his eyes to watch the scene unfold before him and god was it something. your back arches as you take his cum in you once more and your screams fill his ears, signaling you orgasmed right after him.
this moment alone is better than porn itself, and jake savors every bit of it. there’s absolutely no way he can even bring himself to type “nsfw” in his twitter search bar ever again after this.
you hover yourself over him leaving just the tip inside before sliding right back down, pushing his seed back in while it gushes around his cock leaving jake wanting, no needing, a third round with you.
but to his dismay you roll yourself off of his body, landing on the mattress next to him.
“so… how do you feel?”
he releases a long exhale he didn’t know he was holding, “fantastic. 10/10 experience. would do it again.” you simply giggle at his response with a shake of your head, getting up to gather your clothes.
“wait! um, could we do this again?”
you playfully roll your eyes at him, leaving his question unanswered as you begin to dress yourself.
—-----------------
sat in his computer chair, jake is finding it difficult to finish this stupid ethics assignment. how is he supposed to argue about the death penalty when you straight up almost murdered him with your pussy less than 2 hours ago?
he’s sure his professor wouldn’t appreciate if he wrote that he doesn’t give a fuck about someone serving their punishment if the culprit was you, but honestly speaking he’d let you get away with just about anything. you were an angel sent from above to him who could do no wrong.
the way your soft lips wrapped around his cock while your innocent (not) eyes bored into his soul. the way you licked and kissed every single inch of his body, leaving nothing left untouched. and god, the way you worked his dick? how was he supposed to move on from you??
you were an insatiable, sex-crazed goddess. a once in a lifetime experience he was so grateful to have.
his thoughts are interrupted by a loud knocking at his door. two seconds later, jay trails into jake’s room followed by dumb and dumber, all of them having a snug look on their faces.
they make themselves comfortable before they get right into the interrogation. jay leans against the desk, sunghoon sits in the bean bag situated in the corner, and heeseung sprawls himself across the bed.
“so virgin, how was it?”
“wasn’t i right about her pussy?”
“where did she make you cum?”
eyes rolling in the back of his head, jake takes a deep sigh before answering their questions. “one, i’m not a virgin anymore so stop calling me that. two, it was absolutely fucking amazing. literally would give up heaven for it. and three, she had me cum in her. twice.”
heeseung shoots up from his position, jaw dropped and eyes wide. “you came in her twice?!” the boys all share a bewildered expression on their faces, dramatic as always.
jake just shrugs at them, what? didn’t you usually let guys cum in you like the freak you were?
jay slaps his hands down on jake’s shoulders, aggressively turning the computer chair towards him. “jake. buddy. yn has two rules.”
sunghoon suddenly appears on jay’s left, “one. you can’t cum in her. you can cum anywhere BUT inside of her.”
heeseung follows and is now on jay’s right side, “and two. she doesn’t repeat fuck.”
immediately following this revelation there’s silence. complete and utter silence. the gazes they hold are intense and uninviting. as if they truly couldn’t believe you let their best friend who’s never felt the touch of a woman break one of your rules.
their eyes say it all, they love jake to death and are happy for him, like seriously happy and relieved he’s finally entered manhood. but really? none of them got to do what he did? what was so special about him?
you don’t even know the answer to those questions yourself. maybe it was the puppy eyes or his whiny moans that made you feel like you had him in the palm of your hands.
his eagerness to pleasure you but to also receive reminded you of the sole purpose of why you only go for virgins. they made you feel wanted while also letting you be in charge. call it selfishness but why can’t a girl have the best of both worlds?
and you’d never admit it, but jake was one of the best fucks you’ve had in a while. he never tried to be someone he wasn’t, just authentically himself. a pitiful, pitiful virgin. and he was proud of it.
it was refreshing to fuck someone who didn’t have some sort of ego right after you were done with them. immediately bragging to everyone what you two did and acting like they could pull any girl as if you weren’t doing charity work for most of them.
with all of this in mind, of course you let him cum in you. he was doing so well for you, how could you not reward him? had to let him do it twice to drive it home.
and seriously, what kind of guy gives you a tender, sweet goodbye kiss and thanks you for defiling him? you didn’t regret your decisions with him but they were definitely scaring you.
never have you ever been this intimate with a guy, but jake was different. you felt it. and what you did next didn’t scare you as much as your recent choices with him.
*ping!*
the staredown between jake and his friends comes to a halt and he digs his phone out of his pocket to check it. sliding up, he sees the message appear on his screen:
you: are you free tomorrow?
he glances at his friends’ expectant eyes and throws them a smirk. looks like he gets to break that second rule of yours.
© fakeuwus 2024 do not repost, translate, or plagiarize
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the man you are jake sim! 🎀
♠️off limits: sim jaeyun
part one of the off limits trilogy
pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: 19.6k
synopsis: your older brother has always told you “no boys” and his friends “sister is off limits”, which always worked…until everyone comes back home from college and you see how grown up his best friend has become…
genre: friends to lovers, older brothers best friend!au, forbidden love, eventual smut.
warnings: swearing, masturbating, fingering, reader being called a “bad girl” once, alcohol, blood mentions, sex in a hot tub, unprotective sex, oral (m. receiving), dom!jake, hair pulling, cum eating, MINORS DNI! lemme know if i skipped anything ♡
˗ˏˋseries spotify playlist´ˎ˗
a/n: jake is so older brother best friend coded I couldn’t help myself
✰ this is part one to this series, please see the masterlist under the title for parts two-three. ✰
The last thing you expected was your older asking if you were planning to head home during the last bit of your winter break.
You raised your brow at the texts from your brother, thumbs hovering over the keyboard debating how to let him down easily in the nicest way possible that you rather lounge around in your dorm room in your PJs for the last two weeks.
You sighed and fell back on your bed, “Guess I should start packing then.”
You knew Jay was right, it’s been roughly a year since the two of you were back at home at the same time. And even when both were at home, one was always going out and never really stayed home.
Maybe spending the next two weeks at home wasn't such a bad idea. Spend some quality time with your family.
Or so you thought until you walked into your parents' house with your duffle bag and backpack in your hands staring into the living room and seeing not just your brother, but his three best friends.
The same three best friends he grew up with who all followed him to the same college after high school graduation. Ones you haven’t seen in like four years.
You’re only a year younger than your brother and two of the friends while two years younger than the oldest one in their little circle.
You basically grew up with them as well, since you were just a grade below them.
They haven’t even noticed you arrived yet. Your parents weren’t even home from their jobs yet.
The four boys sat on the couch, their hands going a hundred miles per hour on the Nintendo Switch controllers going head to head in smash bros.
They all started screaming as one took the rest out.
You dropped your bags to the floor, clearing your throat to show your presence.
Jay was the first to turn around, his smile growing all the more wider seeing you. Jay dropped the controller onto the coffee table, stepped on the couch, and jumped over the back of it, “Hey stink!”
You cringe at the nickname he continues to call you even as an adult. He wraps his arms tightly around you, squeezing you.
You hug your brother back, tapping his back, “Jay, you can let go now.”
As Jay steps to the side, his three friends fully come into your view, all their eyes on you.
You tried hard to not drop your jaw at the three of them.
“Hey, Y/N!” all three of them said in sync.
Heeseung fully turned his body around, leaning on the back of the couch, “You’ve sure grown up a lot since the last time I saw you.”
Heeseung stood up, stepping over the couch the same way your brother did, rushing up to you and squeezing you just as tightly.
Sunghoon was next at your side, pulling you into a small hug, “It’s been what? Like four years?”
You nodded, “It has been a while, hasn’t it guys?”
“Jake, what are you doing?” Jay called him, “Come say hi too, don’t be rude.”
Jake stood from the couch, his eyes locking with yours, and didn’t leave them until he was in front of you, arms stretched out, “Was just saving the best hug for last.”
You rolled your eyes, wrapping your arms around his waist, “Haven’t changed at all, have ya Jake?”
He chuckled, his heart beating loudly in your ears as you rested your head on his chest.
Jake pulled away from you, taking a step back, “I’ve changed!”
Jay scoffed, “Right. We’ll say that.”
“Most that has changed is your grades are a bit better than high school.” Sunghoon teased, placing a hand on his best friend.
“Bro,” Jake playfully shoved him, “I’ve grown up a lot!”
Oh yes, that he did.
All of them have. It’s only been four years, but each of them has grown up. They went from those nerdy boys you would scrunch your nose at saying they have cooties while holding your index fingers into an x, to the most good-looking men you’ve ever seen.
Four years feels like it’s been a long time, mostly with how they are in front of you right now.
You’re brought out of your thoughts, as Jay sets a hand on your shoulder, “Let’s get back to playing Smash Bros and let Y/N rest, she drove longer than we did.”
It was true, you drove three hours to get back home while they only had an hour. You were overdue for a nap.
Jake waited for you to glance over at Jay before eyeing you up and down. You’ve sure grown up a lot too in the last four years. He was expecting the same girl from all those years ago, oh but he was wrong.
Jake eyeing you down didn’t go unnoticed by his friends, mostly Jay who was shooting darts into Jake’s soul.
“Oh also!” You said as you picked up your bags, “How long are you three staying here today?”
Sunghoon wrapped his arms around Heeseung and Jake’s necks and pulled them in, “We are here the whole two weeks.”
You raised a brow, confused. Of course, they are going to be in town the whole time, “I meant here at the house,” you said pointing your index finger to the floor, “Aren’t you staying with your families while you’re in town?”
Heeseung chuckled, “Nah, we are staying here, that’s what Hoon meant by being here.”
You glanced at your brother, a smirk on his face, “Nice to know I was told.” You glared at him.
Jay shrugged, “It was last minute.”
“We will go see our families, don’t worry,” Sunghoon smiled, “I have to see my little sister, or else she’ll kill me for not coming back home.”
You glanced between the four of them before deciding it wasn’t worth thinking about at the moment, you needed a nap, “Whatever, I am taking my nap.”
The three boys turned around heading back to the couch, Jake took one last look at you as you headed for the stairs, Jay catching him once again looking, Jake quickly turned back around and placed himself back on the couch.
Jay quickly caught your arm before you were too far up the stairs. You turned and looked at him, giving him your nastiest side eye, “What corn lover?”
“The rule still stands.”
You raised a brow, “What rule?”
Jay tilted his head at you, “Really?”
You gave him a confused look, trying to read his mind. The gears in your brain turned until it finally clicked.
“You mean the rule from when we were kids?”
He nodded, “No boys.”
You rolled your eyes, “As if, they still have just as many cooties as they did four years ago.”
Jay nodded, “Good. Keep it that way. Get rest, I’ll come to wake you when mom and dad get home. We are barbecuing tonight. I’m grilling.”
Your mouth was already watering thinking about your big brother's cooking. The one major con of going to a college further away was missing his cooking.
You continued your journey up the stairs and into your childhood room, seeing that your parents left everything the same as it was when you left it. Dropping into your bed, face first into the pillow, sleep finds you quickly.
Jay dropped himself back on the couch, picking up the switch controller, “Alright douche bags, let’s get this party back in motion.”
Everyone grabbed their controllers except Jake, who had his nose in his phone and searched for your Instagram account from Jay’s account, curiously stalking through your account.
It didn’t go unnoticed by Jay, who glanced over at Jake’s phone, catching him staring at the recent selfie you posted a week ago.
“Sim Jaeyun.” Jake jumped at his government name being called so sternly by his hyung.
“Jesus Christ, what?” Jake breathed out, his hand flying to his chest, his heart rate increasing, “You scared the shit out of me.”
Jay glanced back down at his phone, bringing realization to Jake causing him to quickly lock his phone.
Heeseung and Sunghoon also had their eyes on Jake. He looked between the three of them, raising a brow, and glared at them, “What?”
Heeseung slowly faced back to the TV, “I ain’t saying anything.”
“I am,” Sunghoon chimed in, “We all saw how you eyed her.”
Jake quickly shook his head, realizing the situation he got put in, “It’s not like that! She just grew up a lot more than I was expecting.”
That wasn’t helping Jake’s case. Jay was just getting more pissed.
“Dude,” Jay narrowed his eyes, “That’s my little sister.”
“Who is also like a little sister to us,” Heeseung added in.
“Who passed you the baton?” Jake groaned, finger pointing at Heeseung and eyes looking between all his best friends, “Why are you all on my ass?”
“Off limits.” Jay said, bringing in the old rule from childhood, “Nothing has changed.”
Jake rolled his eyes, slouching into the couch, “Obviously! Trust me, I am not interested, like a little sister, remember?”
“Good. Goes for all three of you, she’s off limits.”
The conversation ended there. The last thing Jay needed was having to pull any of his friends off you. He was way too protective of you and knew his friends way too well, mostly after the sex demons they became after graduating. It was already bad enough in high school, but with the freedom college gave the four of them along with the parties and of course, females…
Jay had to protect you at all costs. And he would always stand by it.
—
Jake’s hands trembled as he stood in front of your bedroom door. He’s stood by your door many times as a child growing up, always kicking your door open and running away with Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon, before you could shout at them for annoying you.
But obviously, you all weren’t children anymore. So why was Jake so scared to simply knock on your door?
Jay decided to start grilling before your parents got home so that it would be ready or almost ready by the time they walked in.
Your parents arrived just at the right time as the steak was almost done grilling.
The three boys sat at the picnic table outside by the portal heater and set up the plates while Jay stood by the grill, grilling away.
Your parents hugged each of the boys, welcoming them into their home like old times.
“Oh, where is Y/N? Jongseong?” your mother asked sweetly, placing a kiss on his cheek, “I saw her car outside.”
“She’s napping,” Jay said, turning over the steaks, “Everything is ready, so someone should go wake her.”
Heeseung and Sunghoon were already way too busy talking to your dad to notice what Jay said, your mother ultimately decided she’ll go wake you.
“Mom! No no no!” Jay quickly spat, “Go sit down, you just got off work, I’ll make one of the boys do it.”
Your mother sweetly smiled, “Are you sure? I can do it.”
Jake quickly stood from the table, placing a hand on her shoulder, “I’ll go get her, Mrs. Park, please sit.”
She quickly pulled Jake into another hug, “Such a sweet boy like always!”
And that’s how he found himself at your door. The sounds of the laughter of his friends and basically his second family echo from the background as he continues to hover his trembling fist at your door.
“Come on, Sim…” he whispered, trying to hype himself up, “She’s the same girl you grew up with.”
Jake’s knuckles made contact with the wooden door, leaning himself closer to listen for any movements.
Nothing.
He knocked again but a bit louder, “Y/N?” silence. Another knock, “Hey, Y/N?”
There was shuffling on the other side, the door opening too quickly. You and Jake were now face to face, barely inches apart.
Oh lord was Jake’s heart racing.
You were in your favorite pair of sweatpants and an old tee shirt back from high school with the school's logo on it. Your hair was slightly messy from sleeping and had on the same pair of glasses you wore growing up.
Jake was weak. He always loved your glasses growing up. Thinking they shaped your face nicely and made you look really cute. Of course, he’d never tell you this, he just always made fun of you like the other boys did.
Jake quickly stepped back, giving you space.
You yawned and did a small stretch, “What’s up?”
“Umm,” Jake quickly looked away from you, too scared you’d see how his heart was practically bursting through his chest, “Your parents are home, and dinner is ready.”
Whatever tiredness you once felt was out the window at the mention of Jay’s dinner.
“Okay! Let me change and I’ll be downstairs.” You closed the door quickly, not wanting to miss a second away from the delicious dinner.
Jake made his way back down the stairs and outside, shoving his hands into his jacket pocket as he sat back down.
Jay raised a brow, “My sister?”
Jake shrugged, “She’s coming. Said she was going to change.”
As if on cue, you slid open the glass door, quickly embracing your mother.
You wrap your arms around her from behind, surprising her.
“Hello, mom!”
She quickly turned around to hug you properly, “Oh my sweet girl! I’ve missed you!”
You smile, the familiar smell of her rose perfume fills your nose, “I’ve missed you too momma.”
“Jongseong, come over here too!” your mother waved your brother over, pulling the both of you into a tight hug, “It’s been so long since I have had both my children home. I’m so happy you’re here:”
Jake and the others smiled at you three.
Once your mother released you from her arms, Jay sat down across from Jake, leaving you a spot between him and your mother.
Before sitting down you hugged your father and gave a wave to Heeseung and Sunghoon.
“Good to see you back to the land of the living,” Heeseung teased, “We thought you’d died.”
You roll your eyes, “Haha, very funny.”
Jake took a moment to take in your new outfit. Hair was nicely brushed, tight skinny jeans with rips at the knees, and a baby blue long-sleeve shirt that hugged your torso snug, perfectly shaping your breasts. His eyes not leaving you until you sit down, and then his eyes go to his plate of food.
Jay glances at his best friend, eyes shifting to you, then back at him.
“We can finally eat now that Y/N decided to grace us with her presence,” Jake teased, finally digging into his food. God he was blessed to have Jay as one of his best friends.
You reached under the table and kicked Jake’s shin, him only laughing more than before.
“Just like old times! You kids never change!” your father smiled, lifting his beer for a cheer.
—
Jake tossed and turned, eventually ending up on his back staring up at the ceiling.
The thoughts of the outfit you wore earlier tainted his mind. The way your clothes perfectly shaped your body.
Jake quietly covered his face with his hands, rubbing his eyes in hopes it would take the thoughts out of his head. “She’s your best friend's younger sister, what are you doing?”
He sat up in bed, throwing the blankets off him, and carefully crawled out from the bottom bunk of the bed, trying to not make too much movement to disturb the sleeping Sunghoon above him.
Heeseung was fast asleep on the twin-sized bed across from him, small snores escaping his lips.
Jake took one last look around the room before carefully tip-toeing out.
Jake remembers when Jay announced to them that his parents were buying a bunk bed to add into the spare room so that each of them had a proper place to sleep besides sharing the twin-sized bed or having an air mattress.
Mostly after the four of them got into middle school, no one wanted to share a bed anymore.
It was a blessing, even more of a blessing that the Park’s kept the spare room just the same after all these years.
Jake opened and closed the door with such grace praying to be quiet enough to not wake anyone. Carefully walking down the hallway, stopping at the foot of the stairs, swearing he heard something, looking up them.
The moonlight gave enough light to show how empty the upstairs was, Jake shrugged off the noise he heard and went to the kitchen.
You quietly opened your door, making sure to not disturb any sleeping body, specifically your parents since they needed to be up early for another full day of work.
The nap you took earlier in the day completely messed up your night's rest. You tossed and turned in your bed hoping for sleep to find you but never did. Hoping for a few bites of the leftover barbecue and some water will help you chase the sheep.
You tip-toed to the stairs, carefully and slowly making your way down them, eyeing down the hallway as you made your way to the kitchen, making sure no one else was awake.
You turned the corner of the kitchen, fingers flipping the light switch on. Once the lights came on, your heart nearly dropped to your stomach.
You swore you jumped ten feet in the air, “Oh sweet god, what the fuck Jake?!?” you whispered loudly.
What the fuck indeed.
Jake was pressed against the counter, the water bottle he once held in his hand was now on the floor and the liquid completely covered him.
He took a few deep breaths, hand clenching his now wet shirt, feeling his heartbeat.
“You scared the shit out of me, Y/N.”
You raised a brow at him, “I scared you? I nearly had a heart attack!”
Jake relaxed against the counter, his hands now gripping the counter behind him, “That makes two of us.”
You ran your hands down your face, taking a deep breath in, before dropping your arms back at your side, “Why are you even up?”
Jake’s face was glued to you, his eyes turning dark.
You just looked at him, “What?” It wasn’t until you crossed your arms that you realized what he was staring at.
You remembered what you were wearing. Sweatpants that hung loosely at your hips and a black sports bra.
Jake didn’t notice it at first, mostly not after the surprise of you scaring him half to death, but after he finally looked at you is when he noticed.
The way your breasts were exposed and practically spilling out of the top of your sports bra, how loosely your sweatpants hang. Oh, the thoughts running through his head.
The way all he would have to do is barely slip his fingers at the fabric of your pants to remove them from your hips. The access his lips would have to your tits as he slid his against your heat.
Jake didn’t even realize how hard he was staring at you, looking like a meal he could easily eat up.
Normally you’d run out of the kitchen and back up the stairs full of embarrassment, but something about the way Jake was looking at you made your knees weak.
Your body moved on its own, walking closer to him. His hands gripped the counter, knuckles turning white and his heart rate accelerating. It wasn’t until you were a couple of inches away from him that he realized what was happening.
You could easily see the tint in his shorts growing. All it took for him to see you like this to get so hard?
Jake watched as your eyes dropped to his crotch, and slowly made eye contact with him.
Oh how hard it was for him to keep his hands to himself.
“Jake,” you whispered. You, yourself, want to put your hands on him.
From the moment you saw him, Sunghoon, and Heeseung in the living room earlier this afternoon, you’ve had to admit you were attracted to them, especially Jake. He was no longer the icky boy you grew up with. He’s a man, looking at you like a woman, not the little girl you once were.
You whisper his name again, moving your hand to touch his bicep, but stopping halfway.
“Y/N, touch me and I can’t promise to behave myself.” His Aussie came out thicker in that moment, filled with lust and want.
You wanted to test his boundaries and see if he would actually misbehave.
Your cold fingers brushed his bicep, and that’s all it took for his hands to fly to your hips, switching positions and pinning you against the counter, his hard length now pressed to your aching core, hands gripping your hips.
Jake felt as if he was on autopilot, moving against you as if it were second nature to him.
Jake’s mind has been going wild since the moment you walked through the front door.
He wasn’t expecting the woman he had pressed to his body.
Jake was still expecting the little girl he used to tease. The little girl he would gang up on with his friends. The little girl he would scrunch his nose at when he’d see you in the halls at school as you’d pass by him. The little girl Jay would rant about if another boy looked at you in a romantic way. The little nerdy girl who got straight A’s and never skipped a day of school in your life even if you were sick.
Jake never expected to see you so grown. To see how your body changed and filled in. The way you style your hair and the taste of fashion you have now. How your tits naturally fall and how your ass fits so perfectly in any pants you’ve worn today.
Oh, Jake was a mess. And oh how badly he wanted to make a mess out of you.
You kept your eyes locked with Jake’s, honestly loving how seen you felt by him right now.
“Thought you were going to behave?” you whispered, your hands now gripping the counter behind you.
“I told you the consequences of your actions if you’d touch me, and here we are.”
You let a small laugh leave your lips, rolling your hips against him.
Jake groaned, resting his forehead against yours, grinding himself back onto you, “What are you trying to do here, Y/N?”
You bit your lips, trying to hold back the sounds threatening to escape your mouth from the pleasure of his dick just rubbing against you.
“Are you trying to get me in trouble with your brother? Huh?” Jake whispered, dropping his head to the side of yours, lips brushing against your ear, rolling his hips a bit harder than the last, “He’s already on my ass from the way I’ve been eye fucking you today.”
Your knees buckled, Jake not letting your weight drop with the grip he has on your hips.
“You’re being such a bad girl right now, Y/N, disobeying your brother's wishes so easily just to get a feel of my dick.”
Your brain was going fuzzy at his words, trying to focus on the sound of his breathing to keep you in reality.
Jake’s hands drop down to your ass, squeezing the fat as he thrust his hips against you. Your breath hitched at his touch, knees buckling again.
You wanted to feel his hands everywhere, to feel his lips on yours and against your skin.
You turn your head towards him, wanting to find his lips, only to be met with his hands leaving your ass, body no longer pressed against yours and him taking a couple of steps away from you.
Jake’s chest raised and fell with each deep breath he took, eyes glued to the floor as he ran his fingers through his dark hair.
“We can’t be doing this,” he finally said between deep breaths.
No matter how badly Jake wanted to lead you up those stairs and push you face down into your pillows, he couldn’t betray his best friend like that. Couldn’t betray that trust.
You nodded in agreement, taking your own deep breaths to steady out your heart rate, “You’re right, we can’t be.”
You relaxed your body, pushing yourself off the counter, eyes darting to the fridge.
You grabbed a water bottle, walking past Jake as you exited the kitchen, stopping right past him.
“Jake,” you whispered, looking back at him. Jake stared back at you with lustful eyes, praying you’d jump his bones right here, right now, “Make sure you pick up that bottle and clean any water that got anywhere, mom will kill you if you don’t clean your mess.”
And with that, you left him alone in the kitchen.
Jake didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he heard your footsteps going up the stairs. He quickly cleaned up the spill and threw away the bottle.
Jake made his way back to the hallway, stopping at the door of the spare room, and seeing the bulge in his shorts.
“Fuck,” he whispered, eyes going straight to the bathroom door.
He locked himself in, pulling his shirt over his head and to the floor, quickly dropping his shorts and boxers down to his ankles.
His cock pulsating and red, precum leaking from the tip.
Jake took himself into his hand, pumping himself slowly. Head leaning back against the wall, mouth slightly open.
Jake stared at himself in the mirror, watching as stroked himself, hand picking up speed.
His hand wasn’t enough, and as guilty as he already felt, he imagined his hand was yours. Imagine how your hand would be wrapped around his thick cock, thumb spreading his precum around the tip. He imagined how it’d feel to how your lips on his neck, kissing down his chest and torso until your lips wrapped around his cock, tongue licking up and down his shaft.
Jake had to bite down on his lips to keep his moans quiet, whining at the sensation of the twitch his dick made, so close to release.
He whispered, “I’m cumming Y/N…I’m cum-“
Before he could finish his words, his cum was dripping down his hand.
Jake slowed his hand movement, chasing his high.
He looked down at his mess, taking deep breaths and relaxing against the wall.
“Fuck…oh fuck…”
Jake knew thinking of you while he got himself off would only make this sexual frustration worse. How was he going to survive the next two weeks? He barely survived the first day.
—
If you weren’t awkward around Jake before, you sure are now.
You barely slept at all last night because of the hard-boiled embarrassment you felt.
You came onto your older brother's best friend?! What were you even thinking? You can already see how pissed off Jay would be if he found out what happened last night.
You knew what happened was just a one-time thing. Some weird thing that happened because of your choices.
But the way Jake looked at you…how his eyes spoke for him…it clouded your mind.
When you walked into the kitchen that morning, Jake, Sunghoon, and Heeseung sat at the kitchen table yelling and pushing each other while your brother stood at the stove flipping pancakes.
Jay was the first to notice you, “Aye, good morning stinks.”
Three other pairs of eyes fell onto you, feeling Jake’s gaze specifically.
You walked to your brother, taking a glance at the pancakes, “When will they be ready?” Your mouth was practically watering just by looking at them. Maybe it was a good idea to come back home, all for Jay’s cooking.
“Soon, go sit down with everyone else, impatient.”
You stuck your tongue out at him, crossing your arms, “How can I not be impatient when I don’t get to have your cooking anymore?”
Jay rolled his eyes, “Maybe if you came home more often-“
“Okay, whatever corn lover.” You scoff, “You win.”
Jay chuckled at his victory, telling you once again to sit down.
You grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, eyes landing back at the spot Jake had you pressed against just the night before.
Jake took notice of your stare on the spot. Covering his mouth with his fingers, eyes staring down at your legs and how your ass is barely covered by your shorts.
It’s like you were trying to tempt him.
Sunghoon also noticed your stare at the counter, raising a brow in concern, “You good over there Y/N?”
The thoughts of last night faded from your mind as you turned around to face him, smiling with a “Mmhmm! Just lost in thought!”
Oh, Jake couldn’t help but tease you, “What’s up with that spot to get so lost in thought about?”
He did not.
You narrow your eyes at him, the shit-eating grin that spread across his face pissed you off.
While the others giggled and went back to their normal business, you kept your eyes on Jake. Fully watching as his eyes traveled down your body.
If he wants to play games, you’ll play back.
You walked back over to Jay, leaning yourself onto the counter, knowing full well your shorts will ride up, showing off your ass cheeks.
Jake clenched his fist in his lap, biting down on his fingers at his mouth, feeling his dick start to harden.
The way your shorts lifted to show the small amount of fat from your ass, basically showing off to Jake that you were either wearing a thong or…nothing at all underneath.
You slightly shifted your weight between your legs, the small jiggle of your ass made him clench his fist tighter, having to completely cover his arm over his bulge.
Jake knew he couldn’t get up and walk out of the kitchen, not with his raging boner on full display. Everyone would clown him.
This was the consequence of pushing his luck. Now he’s got to suffer with it.
You turned your head back to look at him, seeing the way he twitched in his seat and how his jaw was clenched tightly. The look he was giving you, the same hungry look from last night, but worse.
It was enough to dampen your shorts.
Jake knew he had to turn the situation around, to drop it entirely, “Hey Jay!”
You quickly twisted yourself around, looping your fingers at the back of your shorts to pull them down, seeing the smug look that now played on Jake’s face.
It was a powerful move to get your brother's attention, knowing Jay would turn around along with Sunghoon and Heeseung's attention being brought in this direction.
Checkmate.
—
You nearly jumped for joy when you found out all the boys would be leaving the house for the day to see their families, Jay going along with them.
You decided since now the house was empty and you’d be alone means the massive TV in the living room finally being free.
You pulled Netflix on the TV and skipped your way into the kitchen, pushing a bag of popcorn into the microwave, watching the timer go down as you grabbed a bowl for the popcorn, fingers barely holding the bag to drop them into the bowl.
You dropped onto the couch, popping the corn into your mouth, free hand searching for something to watch.
There was a show your best friend from college told you about not too long ago, but you couldn’t for the life of you remember the name of it.
You looked on the coffee table, searched the couch, and couldn’t find your phone anywhere.
“Where could it be…”
You set the popcorn bowl on the coffee table, rushing upstairs into your room, and finding the device sitting on your bed. You snatched it up quickly, shooting your friend a quick text as you made your way back down the stairs, the sound of the spare bathroom door opening nearly sent your soul into orbit.
You found yourself standing across the hall from Jake, him shooting the same confused look back at you.
“What?” he raised a brow, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
You pointed a finger at him, “Why aren’t you with the boys?”
Jake got more confused, “Why would I be?”
“Don’t you need to see your family? Ya know while you’re back home?” you retort.
Jake chuckled, “Honey, how can I visit my family if they’re on vacation in Australia?”
You…didn’t think of that. You just assumed his family would be here in town too.
You fidgeted with your shorts, suddenly embarrassed for thinking you’d be home alone.
Jake looked down at your legs, the thoughts from earlier in the morning coming back to his head.
You caught him looking, a smirk playing on your face, “You sure have a staring problem, Sim Jaeyun.”
His eyes whipped up to yours, the corners of his lips curving, “You really want to play this game right now, Park Y/N? When there’s no one else here?”
You came back to the realization that the two of you were alone.
Jake walked over to you, arms stretched out at his sides, corning you between himself and the railing of the staircase.
Jake knew this was wrong, but the stunt you pulled this morning had him taking a thirty-minute shower after breakfast just to beat himself off to release that tension.
“I’m asking you this again, what are you trying to pull, Y/N?”
You were at a loss for words because you weren’t sure what you were trying to pull. You want to respect your brother's “off limits” wishes towards his friends, but god damn at the same time, you were so attracted to Jake.
He has always been a good-looking kid, you always found him so adorable, but once middle and high school came around and he started to finally fill into his body properly, the more attractive he became and the girls around school knew it too. The last time you saw him was his high school graduation, and boy did those years make him one of the sexiest men you’ve ever seen.
“Turning me on in front of my friends and your brother? So dirty.”
You clenched your thighs together, trying to hide the arousal you were feeling, except nothing could get past Jake.
“You want me,” he whispered with a smirk, leaning his body closer to yours, “You want me so bad.”
Jake had to admit seeing you like this was such a turn-on. The way he’s got you clenching your thighs and hasn't even laid a hand on you.
God he wanted to touch you again, have your body pressed close against his, feeling your tits squish to his chest and hands grasping your ass.
Him being alone in this house with you was dangerous.
Day two and still basically a full two weeks left to go.
But he can’t fold, no matter what.
You saw how quickly Jake’s face changed, how the lust left his eyes and was replaced with the soft puppy dog eyes he normally has.
And you knew why.
Jay.
“Maybe we need to stay clear from each other,” you said, slipping under his arm and up a few steps on the stairs, “Like you said last night, we can’t be doing this.”
Jake knew it was the right thing to do. Besides, once these two weeks are over and he goes back to college, things will go back to normal, right? No thoughts of his best friend's little sister fucking him into oblivion.
He nodded, pushing himself off the stairs, “But unfortunately we can’t completely ignore each other, that’ll be more suspicious than anything.”
“Right,” you knew the moment your brother caught onto the two of you ignoring each other he’d known something was up. Thankfully for you, nothing has really happened between you and Jake, just some dry humping, dirty talk on Jake’s end, and him grabbing your ass in the kitchen on top of you teasing him this morning. No big deal! “We just need to act like how we used to do, like when we were kids.”
Jake softly smiled at you, “That’ll be an easy thing to do, right, stinks?”
You rolled your eyes and stomped up the stairs, “I’m so sick of that name.”
Jake couldn’t hold back his laugh, seeing the popcorn bowl you left on the table, “I’m stealing your popcorn!” he yelled, shoving some of the buttery goodness into his mouth. But the only response he got was the sound of your door slamming.
—
What Jake thought would be easy ended up being the hardest thing.
He couldn’t look at you without the thought of laying face first into your bed running across his mind.
Talking to you was a small challenge in itself. Mostly because Jay, Sunghoon, and Heeseung were always right there. Jake felt like their eyes were secretly judging him, watching his every move when probably in reality there was nothing but elevator music going on in their heads the entire time. But he still couldn’t help but feel like an ant under a microscope and had to watch how he looked at you or spoke to you.
The four of them grew up teasing you, calling you silly names, spitting their watermelon speeds at you during the hot summers while you all played outside, and even when they would throw snow at you when you five would play outside in the cold. You were really like a little sister to them, basically family. So why was staying clear from you so hard? It was easy as kids. What was so different now besides how grown up you were now?
It was now Monday, four days into the small vacation at your parents and still all this week and a full week after that to be here. The last couple of days have been…somewhat of a struggle for you and Jake.
You acted normal when everyone was around, but still couldn’t help but steal glances at Jake, sometimes already catching him looking at you.
After that day you were both alone, you stayed in your room at night, already having some snacks and water up on your nightstand so you wouldn’t have to carefully sneak yourself back downstairs and run into Jake again.
There’s only been a few times where walking past him was a challenge, mostly in the living room trying to find a seat to sit down or in the kitchen when everyone is putting food on their plates at dinner time.
Small touches of your hands grazing from reaching for cups or when you walk past each other in the crowded kitchen and living room. Nothing too big that anyone would really notice…or so you hoped.
Jay nudged your shoulder with his, “What’s up Stink?”
You looked up at your brother, “Huh?”
Jay raised a brow at you, “Y/N, you’ve been twirling your spoon around your cereal for like five minutes now.”
You thinned your lips into a line, looking back down at your cereal that is more than likely soggy now, “I was, wasn’t I?”
You dropped the spoon in the bowl, excusing yourself from the breakfast table and walking the bowl to the sink.
Jay crossed his arms and slid back into his chair, “You not going to tell me what is going on?”
Your heart dropped, does he know? Does he know you and Jake have been acting not completely normal?
“I’m just really tired today is all,” you decided to play it off, hoping your worst fear wasn’t happening. Dumping out your wasted cereal and washing the bowl and spoon, “I also didn’t sleep much last night, could hear your snoring from next door.”
Jay, who now appeared at your side, chuckled, taking the bowl from your hands and a towel from the cabinet, “Was I really snoring that loud last night? I was exhausted. Heeseung spam called me saying they all could hear it from the guest room downstairs.”
Score! He doesn’t know.
You watched as he placed the now clean bowl back into its home in the cabinet and placed the towel over the rack to dry, “Damn, even Heeseung heard it? How is your throat not dry as hell?”
Jay flicked his finger against your forehead, laughing as you winced and one hand went to your head while the other balled into a fist and reached across to punch your brother in the chest.
His bright smile was enough to completely change your mood, taking whatever negative energy that was balling up to release and escape back to wherever it came from. Jay always had this effect on you, it was one of his best sibling traits.
But that didn’t stop you from still trying to square up with him.
And you failed…horribly.
Heeseung and Sunghoon walked into the kitchen at the perfect time for Jay to put you into a headlock between his biceps, “Say you're sorry,” he said in a teasing tone, “And I’ll let you go.”
Even with the laughing fit you were in, you still didn’t give up. Hands gripping his arms in attempts to get yourself free, “Never!” You chanted, “You snore like an old man!”
Heeseung and Sunghoon shared glances before walking around the two of you wrestling to grab their own bowls of cereal and sitting at the table.
Jake was the last to pile into the kitchen, stopping abruptly at the fight in the kitchen.
“Just walk around them,” Sunghoon mentioned, “We did.”
Jake carefully walked around the two of you who now sat on the floor.
You had your arms and legs wrapped around your brother, his back to your chest. But he had your back pressed against the island, his shoes digging into the floor to help him use all his weight towards his chest to keep you against the island.
Jake carefully made his way to the table, sitting down beside his other two friends, “Have they been fighting long?” Jake asked, too scared to even prepare himself his own bowl of sugar.
Heeseung shrugged, “We found them like this when we got here.”
Sunghoon groaned, “Should we break it up now? Probably been going on for long enough.”
“Hey!” Heeseung shouted. You and Jay stop wiggling around, eyes now set on the table at the three friends staring back at you, “Some of us would like to eat our breakfast in peace.”
“That sucks,” you joked, tightening your grip on your brother. Jay pushing his weight back onto you.
While Heeseung and Sunghoon seemed to completely discard the two siblings, Jake couldn’t help but smile fondly at you two.
He dropped his jaw into his palm, his smile only growing wider. This moment felt like old times when you were all children.
But that happy feeling soon faded and was replaced with fear when your mother walked into the kitchen. Jake never sat up straight so fast. Even Heeseung and Sunghoon stopped slouching.
“Park Jongseong! Park Y/N! What are you doing?!”
You and Jay got up from the floor, standing side by side in front of your mother.
“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” Jay quickly asked with his, sorry for wrestling my baby sister on your clean kitchen floor mom, it won’t happen again, awkward smile.
Your mother placed her hands on her hips, “Am I not allowed to have a day off from work?”
Heeseung scooted his chair closer to the table, leaning against it in a way to get as close as possible to the conversation, him eating his cereal as if it were popcorn, and you guys were the movie.
Sunghoon followed Heeseung, him pulling at Jake’s hoodie to pull him close too.
“I think what Jay means mom, is that we weren’t expecting you to have the day off.” You elbowed your brother's ribs, a small oof leaving his lips from the pain.
Your mother relaxed, looking between the two of you, “Your father has a company party tonight up at that new fancy hotel a couple of towns over, we are leaving now to get there at a decent time. We are packing as we speak.”
“Wait, you're not coming home tonight?” Jay asked with a hint of shenanigans in his tone.
Oh boy…
She shook her head, “The party is ending too late, so we are staying at the hotel and coming home tomorrow morning.”
Jay didn’t even hide the fact that he had some kind of bullshit cooking up in his head as he turned and faced his friends, a smirk forming.
You leaned back, glancing at his friends, trying to decipher whatever secret language they were using to communicate with their eyes.
Before your mother could protest whatever shenanigans your brother was planning, your father stumbled into the kitchen.
“Boys, I need your help. The mail just came.” your father said, pointing his index finger at each of the three boys one by one, “It’s a big one.”
“Are we building something, Mr. Park?” Heeseung asked, already standing up from the table.
Your father nodded with a big smile, “We bought a hot tub for the back porch.”
—
You sat at the picnic table, cold hands shoving into your hoodie pocket, watching as the three boys hovered around Sunghoon who held the directions to the hot tub.
“When your dad said he got a hot tub that he needed help setting up, I thought he meant he was going to be a part of helping…” Jake sighed, shoving his hands into his jean pockets.
Jay also sighed, “Yeah, trust me. He put his whole faith into us with this one. Not to mention one person is just watching while we struggle.”
The three boys looked at you. You sat up straighter, smiling at them, and waved, “Dad never told me to help.”
Each of them glared at you before going back to the instruction booklet.
You were surprised your parents even bought the hot tub. Mostly since it would only be the two of them using it up until the spring came when it got too hot for it. Plus you and the boys would only be able to use it while you were visiting. But it’s their money, not yours. They can do what they please.
“Wait,” Heeseung said, picking up one of the hard plastic pieces, “I figured it out.”
The boys, sooner than later, had the hot tub built. It was a beautiful oak brown wood color with six seats and came with massaging capabilities with cool lights at the bottom for when it was dark out. It was small, and everyone’s legs would get all tangled up, but beautiful nevertheless.
The next step was setting up the pumps. Which racked the boy's brains too hard, causing them to sit at the picnic table with you.
“My brain hurts,” Heeseung said rubbing his temples, “I need a break.”
Sunghoon’s eyes lit up quickly, he sat up on the bench, hands slapping onto the table, “Tell us your plan, Jay!”
Jake’s attention also drew in, curious as well, “Yeah what’s the plan?”
Heeseung looked up at his friends, also waiting.
You looked at your brother, “Are you talking about whatever hidden language you three stooges had while in the kitchen earlier?”
“How dare you compare us to the three stooges!” Sunghoon snapped, reaching over to flick your forehead, but you were too quick, swatting his hand away.
“Can’t tell me I am wrong?” you retort, “Anyways, spill the beans.”
Jay looked between his two friends, “Might as well tell her,” Jake shrugged, “She’s already onto us.”
You shook your brother’s shoulder, “SPILL!”
“Party,” he sighed, shrugging you off, “We are going out tonight.”
You raised a brow, switching glances between the three idiots, “And you were trying to keep that a secret…why?”
“We couldn’t go to parties when we lived here?” Jay sassed.
“That didn’t stop you from sneaking out your window and jumping into Heeseung’s car?” you threw back, “You’re adults now, you think our parents can stop you?”
Jake released a giggle, “Your mother actually called Jay on the drive here telling him no drinking while we are here.”
You shrugged, your mother was always against drinking and going to parties. It’s what caused Jay and yourself to sneak out half of your high school lives. Your dad caught Jay sneaking in through the front door once and that’s all it took for him to start using his bedroom window and bribing you to keep your mouth shut until the first time you snuck out and couldn’t get back inside due to your window closing while you were out having no choice but to call him to let you inside.
“Anyways, yeah we are going out to a club, possibly bar hop. Just depends.” Jay shrugged it off as if it were no big deal.
“Cool, when are we leaving?” You asked, fully invested in going.
Jay scoffed, “Who said you can come?”
You scrunch your nose at your brother, “I am an adult, if you tell me no I could always drive myself and follow you guys.”
Heeseung chuckled, “She’s got a point, might as well let her come.”
You gave your brother a smug look, “See?”
“Fine, jeez!” he groaned.
“Plus, maybe you’ll get lucky and someone else can take me off your hands.” you wiggled your eyebrows, hoping they picked up what you were putting down.
Jake was the first one that pick it up. Chills being sent down his body. Eyes darting between you and Jay, then it finally clicked in his head.
“No!” Jay snapped, “Not happening, keeping you in my sight.”
You rolled your eyes, knowing damn well once you all get to the club or bar and get some alcohol in your system Jay can’t stop anything.
Heeseung slapped his hands on the table, “Anyways, enough of that! Let’s get these pumps on the hot tub working so we can get ready to leave, there’s five of us that have to get ready and lord knows we will need that time.”
Sure enough, the boys got the hot tub up and running smoothly in no time.
—
“Wear the fucking jacket Y/N!” Jay snapped, yelling over the loud music from the club, shoving his jacket in your face.
“I said no!” you snapped back at your brother, shoving his jacket out of the way.
“Dude,” Heeseung rolled his eyes, “did you not notice her outfit when we got in the car?!”
Jay sent daggers shooting at the older, “I was in the driver's seat dumbass! We were running late on leaving!”
You crossed your arms, looking down at your outfit. It wasn’t even bad? You had on your favorite faded blue ripped skinny jeans with fishnet tights underneath. You had on a long-sleeved crop top that was just above your belly button and in a v-neck style, shoving off your breasts, and your long hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail.
“Besides, it looks like a completely normal outfit!” Jay once again tried shoving the jacket at you.
“Dude!” you pushed his hands away once again, “There isn’t anything wrong with my outfit!”
Jay looked at each of his friends to help convince you, his eyes landing on Jake last. Jake just shrugged his shoulders, “Your sister man.”
Jake on the one hand had no problem with your outfit, it was cute, it was sexy, and it showed off all your curves, not to mention it made your tits and ass look GREAT. On the other hand, he can see Jay’s frustration. The moment any of the guys would take their eyes off you, another man would make his move.
“Jesus Christ I’m ordering us shots I can’t take this bickering,” Sunghoon said with a roll of his eyes as he pushed past everyone making his way to the bar.
Jay pleaded with you with his eyes, “Y/N.”
“Jongseong.”
Sunghoon returned quickly with five shots, handing everyone theirs, “Let’s get fucked up tonight!”
“Amen to that brother!” Heeseung shouted, “CHEERS!”
Everyone clacked the shot glasses together and then drank down the shot.
It’s been a while since you drank last, already making a promise to yourself to not go overboard.
Sunghoon collected the glasses and set them on the table next to you all.
Jay wouldn’t take his eyes off you and you shot darts into his soul.
He opened his mouth to say something, his eyes looking away from you for a second, his mouth hanging open at whatever sight he saw behind you.
You raised a brow, turning behind you to see what he was staring at, “Wow, and you want ME to cover up?”
Granted, the female your brother was going heart eye for was beautiful, she just happened to be showing off a lot more skin than you. She had a matching black crop top and skirt with black boots. It was a cute outfit, no wonder it got Jay’s attention.
She was also staring back at your brother, even giving him a little wave.
“Oh shit man,” Sunghoon nudged his arm, “Go get her.”
Jay ran a hand through his dyed hair, walking in her direction, “Put this on, I’ll be right back,” he dropped the jacket on the top of your head and disappeared into the crowd towards the female.
You pulled the jacket off you, dropping it down onto the table, “I need more alcohol.”
You walked away from the boys, only for the three of them to follow directly behind you to the counter of the bar, “Don’t you guys have girls to be going after?”
Heeseung chuckled, wrapping an arm around your shoulders while he leaned against the counter, “We came here to drink, Y/N, and that’s exactly what we are doing.”
You pulled Heeseung off you, “Can’t you do that somewhere else?”
Sunghoon leaned closer to you, “You trying to get rid of us?” he gave you his famous smirk, and oh man did you want to punch him.
“Duh?” you said matter of fact, “Isn’t it obvious?”
“Yeah, Sunghoon,” Heeseung said, slinging his arm back around you, “She wants to get laid tonight, she can’t be seen with three other guys hovering around her.”
Jake didn’t like this conversation nor did he want to hear it. In hopes of changing the vibes, he called the bartender over. “Can we get a couple of rounds of shots please?”
The bartender nodded, “Coming right up!”
You once again removed Heeseung from you, getting more irritated by the second. You didn’t know what was more annoying, your brother, or his friends.
The eight shots were placed in front of you all, everyone taking one into their hands.
“Cheers!” Jake calmly said, once again clacking the glasses together before slurping down the liquid.
You set the glass down and then dropped your head into your hand, this wasn’t how you wanted the night to go. You expected to drink with the boys, yeah, but you weren’t expecting them to be up your ass.
“Is that who I think it is?” Heeseung asked, pointing a finger down the bar.
Everyone shifted their gaze looking in the direction Heeseung was pointing at.
“No way!” you gasped, leaning your head more into your hand, “Is that Choi Yeonjun?!”
As if hearing his name being called from across the bar, he turned and faced your direction, his eyes wandering between the four of you. He gave a small wave, his eyes lingering on you. Way too long for Jake’s liking.
The more shots Jake ordered, and the more the liquid courage went down your throat, the more you wanted to walk over to Yeonjun.
“Are you going to keep giving him heart eyes or are you gonna actually go talk to him?” Sunghoon said with a roll of his eyes, taking another shot down.
You tucked your lip between your teeth, slightly pulling at your ponytail while making eye contact with Yeonjun, him giving you a few winks and his own lip bite to flirt back.
It was driving Jake up a wall.
“Should I?” you asked, “Haven’t seen him since he graduated a few years before you guys.”
Yeonjun used to be in band class along with the boys and even lived the next street over from you and Jay before he moved away after graduation. He wasn’t close with the boys since he had his friend group, but they all hung out a few times from what you could remember.
“Y/N, maybe you shouldn’t,” Jake said, taking a small step closer to you as he eyed Yeonjun.
“Why not?” you stood from the bar, causing Jake to bring his eyes back to you. You adjusted your shirt, pulling it slightly down to reveal your tits a bit more.
Jake clenched his jaw at the sight, seeing how your tits slightly jiggled from you adjusting your shirt, and the fact Yeonjun was about to see it up close and personal wasn’t sitting right with him.
“How do I look?” you asked, turning and looking at each of them for their opinions.
“You look hot, now go talk to him before some other girl beats you to it!” Heeseung said, quickly pushing you away from them, which gave you no other choice but to walk over to him.
Once you were far enough away, Jake glared at Heeseung.
“Dude what?” he scoffed, “She came here for this reason. Jay ain’t even around, relax.”
That’s not the point.
“Come on, let’s go back to the table, I’m tired of standing,” Sunghoon said, collecting the leftover full shots, “Hee, Jake, order us some beer or something.”
“Well, hello there,” Yeonjun said, pulling you into a hug, “It’s been what? three-four years?”
You nodded into his shoulder, “It’s really been a while hasn’t it?”
Yeonjun sat back on his bar stool, pulling the one beside him out, “Please sit.”
Now that you are closer to him, you can see how grown-up he has gotten. Damn, what is with everyone you knew getting hit with puberty like a fucking truck?
“Are you still friends with Soobin, Beomgyu Taehyun, and…?”
“Huening kai?” he smiled, “Of course!” he glances around the club then looks back at you, “They are around here somewhere.”
You came over here specifically to flirt and hopefully get dragged out of this club by him, yet you’ve found yourself at a loss for words. He’s too beautiful and sexy with how he smiles, it’s throwing you for a loop. Plus you barely knew him back in school, only the basics really.
Yeonjun leans closer to you, placing his hand on your forearm, thumb rubbing circles, “How is your brother?” he asked, glancing behind you, “I saw you are here with Lee, Sim, and the other Park.”
You sighed, “Jay is around here somewhere,” you said, taking a quick look around the club, just to find your eyes back on Yeonjun.
Yeonjun sucked on his bottom lip as he stared you up and down, his eyes always landing back down onto your tits.
Yeonjun remembers perfectly well how overprotective Jay was over his sister, so if Yeonjun wanted to get you out of your clothes, he needed to act fast before Jay caught eyes on the two of you.
Yeonjun was so attracted to you right now. He found you cute back in school, but damn did you grow up to be such a fine woman. And with the way your friends were eyeballing him, he knew they too found you just as sexy, making him need to act even faster before one of them decided to ruin everything.
Jake took notice of how Yeonjun was eye fucking you without a care in the world. His hand was on your arm as you two talked. Oh, it was setting him off.
“Damn,” Heeseung said, putting his beer bottle to his lips, “You’re going to burn a hole in the guy if you keep staring at him like that.”
“Are we just going to let him touch her like that?” Jake spat out, taking his eyes off Yeonjun to look at his friends, “You both are staring at them too!!”
Sunghoon shrugged, “I am only watching to see if he can actually bag her.”
“Dude,” Heeseung quickly said, “One hundred bucks that he fucks up somehow.”
Jake furrowed his eyes, “What the actual fuck?”
“What?” Sunghoon snapped, “You’re acting like Jay right now. What is up with the two of you? Huh?”
Jake didn’t know how to answer that. He can’t tell them the sexual frustration he’s been feeling knowing one of them will let it slip to Jay either by accident or purposely.
“I am just worried about her, that's all,” Jake said, looking back over to you.
In the time Jake had his eyes off you, Yeonjun had his stool pulled closer to you, his legs found their way between yours, his knees touching yours and hand resting on your thigh, his fingers slowly slipping between the tears of your jeans.
Jake’s jaw locked, his hands forming into fists.
“Jake,” Heeseung said calmly, noticing his friend's behavior, “Let’s think smart about this, ya?”
“She is basically our family and you’re just going to stand by and let some random dude touch her like that?!” Jake snapped.
“Jake, he isn’t some random dude, we went to school with him,” Heeseung tried to play damage control, but it wasn’t working.
“He also had a reputation for the females he pulled into his bed!” Jake spat.
Sunghoon let out a whistle and with a tilt of his head said, “You’re so into her.”
Jake whipped his head around, “Would you let Yeji be in Y/N position right now?”
Sunghoon scoffed, “Fuck no! She wouldn’t be anywhere near here!”
“Then what’s the difference of letting the girl we grew up with be in that position right now?”
Heeseung sighed, “Jake, what is really going on with you? You’d never bat an eye at her before.”
I want her all to myself. Don’t want another man touching her.
Jake looked away from his friends. Heeseung was right, he’d never thought twice about you before now, he should be supporting your choices to get laid.
Except he wasn’t.
Yeonjun’s hand completely slipped between the tear of your jeans, squeezing your thigh as he continued to eye fuck the shit out of you.
And that’s all it took.
Jake shot from the chair, his brain on autopilot.
“JAKE!!” Both his friends called after him. Jake ignored them.
Jake approached the two of you quickly, Yeonjun locked eyes with Jake and slid his hand out of your jeans with a disgusted look on his face clearly showing his irritation towards Jake.
“Hey,” Jake said, his hand finding your lower back, his fingers twisting into your belt loop and slightly pulling, “Let’s go find your brother and leave, ya? We still have a few other places to check out.”
Oh here we go, Yeonjun thought.
“Wow, no hey Yeonjun! Long time no see! How ya been?” Yeonjun sassed, his thumb still making soft figure eights on your forearm.
Jake burnt holes into him, “Sup, Choi, long time no see. How have you been? Cool. Bye.”
“Jake!” you snapped at his rudeness.
Jake’s hand found your waist, slightly pulling you again in an attempt to remove you from the stool.
“I don’t think Y/N wants to leave,” Yeonjun glared at him.
Jake scoffed, reaching over to remove his hand from your arm, then completely wrapping around you, lifting you from the seat.
Yeonjun clicked his tongue, “Is there a problem, Sim?”
Jake chuckled, “Nah man,” he looked around behind Yeonjun, “Where is the rest of your rat pack huh?”
“Jake!!” you snapped at him again. What the fuck was his problem?
Yeonjun chuckled back, his tongue digging into the side of his cheek, standing up from the stool, “Why don’t you let miss pretty thing go and head back over to Mr. Ace and Ice Prince, ya?”
Yeonjun reached for you, only for Jake to whip you behind him, “Don’t you fucking touch her.”
“Come on man, trying to get my dick wet, stop gatekeeping her pussy for yourself.”
Oh, man.
“The fuck did you just say?!” Jake lost it, letting his grip on you go and stepping into Yeonjun’s face.
This can’t be good, “Jake!” you gripped onto his arm, trying to yank him back, “Jake come on, let’s just go!”
He wouldn’t budge, so you did the next best thing. Whipping your head around to find Heeseung and Sunghoon. Waving your hands to get their attention to look in your direction, eyes pleading with them. They got up immediately.
“You heard me, Sim,” Yeonjun said, “I saw the way you’ve been staring her down all night.”
Jake clicked his tongue, “Man, fuck off!” and Jake shoved him.
Yeonjun shoved him back harder.
Before Jake could swing, Heeseung wrapped his hands around Jake, “Woah woah woah!! Hoon get Y/N out of here!” Heeseung yelled as he fought to keep Jake still.
Sunghoon wrapped his arm around your waist, trying to pull you away from the situation, “Y/N, let’s go please,” but you fought against him, “I need you safe! Please!” You stopped struggling against Sunghoon’s hold, slowly letting him back you away.
“Jake, man listen to me,” Heeseung whipped himself in front of Jake, “Let’s just go okay? Think about Y/N, we need to get her somewhere safe, ya?”
Jake took his eyes off Yeonjun and over to Heeseung, his body relaxing and nodding. The last thing he wants is to put you in danger or see him start a fight.
Jake nodded, letting Heeseung push him back and turn him around.
The moment Heeseung’s hands were off Jake and he was now at his side, Yeonjun scoffed, “Pussy shit.”
Pussy shit?
Heeseung wasn’t fast enough to get ahold of Jake, because now his fists were balled and made contact with Yeonjun’s cheek.
Yeonjun hunched to the side, his left hand touching the area Jake just punched him, only to quickly whip around and land a punch right on the corner of the left side of Jake’s mouth.
“Find my brother!” You yelled, fighting against Sunghoon’s hold on you, “Find Jay!!”
Heeseung ran into the crowd, pushing past the dancing bodies on the floor.
Jake licked the blood that dripped down his lip, letting out an evil laugh before gripping Yeonjun’s collar of his shirt, Yeonjun took his fist full of Jake’s shirt and gave him a shove.
“You’re fucking dead!” Jake spat, getting himself ready to throw another punch.
Before the next moves could be made, Heeseung and Jay were at Jake’s side with Soobin and Taehyun at Yeonjun’s.
“Hey! Hey! Hey!” Jay yelled, pushing Yeonjun off his friend and then wrapping his hands around Jake’s biceps, Heeseung doing the same in hopes of holding him back.
Soobin and Taehyun also hand their own death grips on their older.
“What the actual fuck is wrong with you two?!” Jay snapped, eyes darting between him and Jun, “Fighting in a club? Jesus fucking Christ.”
Sunghoon let you go to run to his friend's side, placing his hands on Jake’s shoulders to help pull him back.
“Let’s fucking go!” Heeseung growled, “NOW!”
You made your way over to Jake, eyes landing on the cut on his lip. You whipped your head back around and looked at Yeonjun, seeing the bruise already starting to form on his cheek.
Much deserved.
Jake’s hands found your waist as he pulled you to him, giving Yeonjun one last fuck you look as he backed away. Jay also places a hand on your back, giving Yeonjun a stare himself.
Yeonjun chuckled, taking a step forward but his friends stopped him, “Yeah! Learn to get your dog and bitch of a sister under control!”
Yeonjun was now on the floor on his knees, spitting blood onto the tile, and blood dripping from Jay’s fist.
You quickly ran over to your brother, pulling him away, watching as Soobin and Taehyun pulled Yeonjun up.
“Let’s just go hyung,” Taehyun said, “You’ve drank way too much tonight.”
With a nod from Yeonjun, he let Taehyun pull him away, Beomgyu taking Soobin’s spot as he quickly apologized to us for Yeonjun then followed behind his four friends.
Heeseung drove home while Sunghoon sat in the passenger seat.
You sat between Jay and Jake, your hands examining your brothers, napkins, and a bag of ice you guys got from the bar laid onto his hand.
“I can’t believe you punched him that hard,” you said, squeezing his wrist tightly.
“I wasn’t going to let him talk about you and Jake like that,” your brother mumbled, “couldn’t let Jake get hit again either.” he teased
“Fuck man,” Jake said, leaning his head back and tilting it to look at Jay, “I had him!”
Everyone laughed.
“Oh!!” Heeseung finally spoke up, pointing a finger at Sunghoon, “You owe me one hundred dollars!!”
“Huh?” Jay questioned.
“They made a stupid ass bet,” Jake said, rolling his eyes, “Sunghoon lost.”
“I wouldn’t have if someone didn’t storm off.” Sunghoon snapped, whipping around in the seat to look at Jake, earning a middle finger from Jake.
“Wasn’t going to let him continue touching Y/N like that.”
“Thank you,” Jay said, “For watching after my sister.”
Jake nodded, “Someone had to.”
You rolled your eyes and sent your elbow flying into his ribs.
Turning your attention back to Jay, you shifted the ice and napkin up to take a look at the cuts on his hand, “It’ll be bruised for awhile, you hit him pretty hard.”
Jay just nodded, eyes getting heavy.
“Hey,” you tap his leg, “You okay?”
Jay smiled with a laugh, “I’m so fucking hammered, surprised I sobered up enough to stop that fight.”
You smiled sweetly at your brother, “Let’s get you to sleep once home.”
—
After the night you had, all you wanted was to try out the hot tub.
Once you and the guys got Jay into bed, you watched as they made their way into the spare room, the door closing.
You did get into bed, but the jitters from the fight still haunted you. And what better way to get those jitters away than to try out the brand-new hot tub?
You quickly changed into your dark blue bikini, slipping sweatpants and a sweatshirt over your body, and quickly but quietly made your way down the stairs, into the laundry closet to grab a towel and into the kitchen, carefully unlocking and sliding the glass door open and shut.
Turning the hot tub and pulled the cover off and the lights lit up the porch, and watched the bubbles start to form. You dropped the towel onto the table and slid out of your sweats, the cold immediately touching your skin.
You tied your hair back into a tight bun and quickly jumped over the steps and slid your body into the warmth.
You released a soft ahhh as the water warmed your body.
You laid your head back onto the pillow at your seat, closing your eyes and moving your arms back and forth.
No wonder your parents wanted a hot tub, this shit was relaxing as hell.
The sound of the sliding glass door opening scared you, making you quickly sit up and whip around. Your eyes nearly rolled out of your sockets from how hard you rolled them.
“Hello to you too,” Jake said snarkly, “What are you even doing up?”
You turned back around, “Can say the same about you.”
Jake wasn’t expecting anyone to be in the hot tub, he wanted to be alone and get out of the spare room for a few hours. After tonight a relaxing time in the hot tub sounded amazing.
He was probably the last person you wanted to be around, yet he also couldn’t help but feel happy knowing you were also here.
“Am I allowed to get in or??”
You looked back over at him, giving a small nod, “Yeah, that’s fine. You’re already out here.”
The corner of Jake’s lips curled, dropping the towel next to yours.
His hands found the ends of his sweatshirt, pulling it up and over his body.
You felt your face flush. Feeling as if you just saw the work of a God.
You knew he worked out, his whole physique was proof of that. But seeing shirtless was a whole new level.
Your eyes wandered from his chest down to his abs. Yeah, he was sculpted by the gods.
Jake looped his fingers in his sweatpants, giving a small smirk at you staring, “Staring problem?”
You quickly made eye contact with him, then shifted yourself back around, “No.”
He softly laughed, dropping his sweatpants to the ground and climbing into the hot tub.
“I am so glad I brought my swimming shorts.”
You watched as he sat across from you, his legs sliding down beside yours.
“Did you just, randomly pack swimming shorts?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
Jake laid his arms out against the top of the tub, sinking himself lower in, “Yeah. Always have to be prepared.”
You narrowed your eyes, “It’s the middle of winter.”
Jake chuckled, “Heeseung’s family has a heated pool. Figured we would go use it at some point during this trip.”
All you could do was nod. You’ve only ever been to the Lee household during birthday parties for Heeseung as kids. Guess the heated pool came around after you stopped hanging around them.
Everything went silent. It was awkward, both of you knew that. You both went from staying clear of each other the best you could to sitting across from each other alone.
“I’m sorry.”
Huh.
You looked at him with confusion, “Why?”
Jake sat up, leaning forward, and wrapped his arms around himself, “For starting a fight with Yeonjun in front of you. For him talking about you the way he did.”
“Jake,” you also leaned forward, placing your hand on his knee, “You were just defending me, there’s nothing wrong with that. My brother would beat the shit out of you for even apologizing for it.”
Jake scoffed, “The fight wouldn’t have happened in the first place if I didn’t lose my cool.”
“You aren’t…wrong…” You studied him. You’ve known Jake basically his whole life, you know his mannerisms and tell by his body language that he was truly deeply sorry, that’s one thing that has never changed about him, “Just don’t be sorry. You were defending me.”
Jake nodded, his eyes finding a corner of the tub, watching as the bubbles pop, then softly laughed, “Sorry I cock blocked you, that wasn’t cool of me.”
You let out a small giggle, “Yeah, you really did cock block me,” you let out a sigh, “Too bad he ended up being an asshole, really wanted to have a good fuck.”
“Fuck me then,” Jake said softly.
All you could do was look at him, not being able to tell if he was serious or not.
“Funny joke.”
“I’m not joking, Y/N.”
The whole reason you wanted to go out and gain a hookup was to release the sexual frustration that you had for the man sitting in front of you. But now that said man is straight up asking you to fuck him.
“You said we can’t be doing this, my brother—“
“I don’t care,” Jake moved forward, reaching his hand out and grabbing your waist, pulling you back over to him and in his lap.
His hands squeezed your thighs on either side of him, his forehead connecting to yours, “I can’t take it anymore. The way you’ve been teasing me…After seeing the way Yeonjun was undressing you with his eyes…the way he was touching you.”
His length grew hard underneath you, his hands sliding up to the strings of your bikini bottoms, gripping them tightly.
Jake thought he could survive these two weeks, thought he was stronger, and that the respect and bond he had with Jay was strong enough to keep him away. Unfortunately, your hold on him was stronger.
“I want you, so bad,” he whispered, his hot breath hitting your lips.
You placed your hands on his shoulders, “I want you too…”
You did. Oh god did you want him badly. But how could you betray your brother's rules? He’d kill you both.
Jake pulled at the strings of your bottoms slightly, “Just give me the word, and I’ll fuck you so good I swear it.”
Oh, fuck it.
You nodded, “Jaeyun, please.”
And that line got crossed.
Jake’s lips connected to yours, kissing you with such passion and need, like he’s been wanting for this his entire life.
His fingers pulled at both sides of strings, your bottoms completely coming undone and him pulling them away from your body to float off somewhere in the hot tub.
His tongue invades your mouth, twisting the muscle around yours letting soft and quiet moans release into your mouth.
You rolled your hips against him, sliding your folds against his clothed length as your fingers got tangled up in his hair.
Jake squeezed your hips, pushing you down harder onto him, bucking his hips up in motion with yours.
You released your mouth from his, a string of saliva connected to your mouths, “I need you, Jake, please.”
His hands left your hips and flew to his shorts, his fingers pulling at the strings. You, being impatient, looped your fingers into his shorts, helping him pull them down.
“Fuck baby, that needy for my cock?”
You nodded, watching as his shorts went down at his thighs, his thick length now resting against his abdomen.
Taking his cock in your hands, you slowly pumped him.
Jake’s hand went back to your waist, biting his lips. Fuck your hand feels so good against his cock, it was everything he ever imagined and more.
Jake lifted you, letting you adjust him to your fuck hole, lining him up perfectly.
“You ready, baby?” Jake asked, wanting one last form of permission from you before crossing the line even further behind the return.
You nodded, slowly sliding yourself down onto him.
You both groan out at the feeling of him bottoming out, the sensation already sending Jake over the edge. He could cum right now just from bottoming out.
You rolled your hips slowly to help get adjusted to his size, hands gripping his broad shoulders as you slowly picked up your pace.
Jake’s mouth connected back to yours as you rode him. bucking his hips up at the same motion as you.
“Fucckkkk, you’re so tight, baby. Taking my dick so good, oh fuck.”
You picked up the pace, his dick hitting your g-spot perfectly.
Jake’s brain was going fuzzy, the sensation of his dick buried deep in your cunt was sending him to another world.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…” Jake slid his hands up to the string of your top, fingers gripping them tightly along with your skin, fingers digging in as he slid them back down your back, his hips bucking up harder into you.
You moaned out a little too loud, Jake’s lips reattaching to your lips, “Shhh, baby, you need to stay quiet.”
You nodded, biting down on your lips to suppress your sounds as you continued to slide his dick in and out of you…in and out, in and out.
Jake knew he would cum soon, that knot in his stomach threatening to snap and the twitch of his dick.
Then your pussy tightened around him, your own high approaching.
“I’m…cumming soon,” you whispered, digging your nails into his shoulders.
“Yeah, baby?” He slid his hand down to your heat, thumb rubbing circles on your clit, “Wanna cum?”
“Please.” You begged, throwing your head back as your legs got weaker, biting down on your tongue as the knot snapped.
“That’s it, pretty girl, make a mess all over my cock.”
You fell forward, resting your head against his, his hands squeezing your hips tightly as he fucked into you, the overstimulation making you dizzy along with the heat from the water.
“Jake…”
“I know baby girl,” he whispered, locking his jaw at the knot and getting close to releasing, “Fuck, I’m cumming, I’m cumming.”
With a groan, he pumped his seed against your walls riding out his high.
Jake wrapped his arms around you, resting his forehead against your neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses on your skin.
You tangled your fingers in his hair and let out a sigh, “Jay is going to kill us both.”
Jake chuckled, “Yeah, but only if he finds out.”
You both took a moment to catch your breaths, your hands releasing from his hair and sliding down his neck, your fingers stopping at the chain of his necklace. A beautiful large double link pendant.
Jake noticed your eyes at his neck, “It’s pretty, right?” he said between deep breaths.
You nodded, twisting the metal between your fingers.
He lifted his hands from your sides, reaching behind him and unattaching the clasp, removing it from his body and moving it to yours, the double links dropping at your collar bones.
“Jake, no, I can’t take this!” you went to take the necklace off, “This was probably very expensive!”
Jake grabbed your hands, sliding them back around his neck, “It’s yours now, a beautiful necklace for a very beautiful woman. Keep it.”
Your heart was racing, your stomach filled with butterflies at the way he smiled and looked at you.
“It looks better on you anyway baby,” Jake wraps one arm back around you, his free hand cupping your jaw and pulling you in for a kiss.
—
Jake had to admit, that seeing you walking around with his necklace around your neck drove him insane.
It was like his own way of marking you without physically having to do it.
You plopped down onto the couch next to Heeseung, the necklace sitting beautifully against your collarbones.
Oh, did Jake want his lips on your neck right now.
“Damnit!” Sunghoon shouted, tossing the Nintendo Controller onto the coffee, “Why are you so damn good?!”
Heeseung raised a brow, “It’s Mario Kart??? It doesn’t take skill??”
Jay patted his back, “At least you aren’t last place, like someone sitting in the corner over there,”
And then all eyes went to Jake.
“Oh, fuck off!” he snapped, “I don’t play Mario Kart!”
You smiled at your friends, eyes connecting with Jake’s.
He gave you his flirty smile, eyes leaving yours, and went back to the TV as the next race started.
You couldn’t take your eyes off him. Last night in the hot tub replayed in your mind on a loop. The way his hands felt against your skin, how his lips fit perfectly to yours. How his cock felt…You couldn’t help but wonder if he went to bed last night too with his brain flooding of you.
And he did.
Having sex with you was everything Jake imagined it to be. It was actually BETTER than he imagined it. To finally feel you wrapped around his cock and hear your pretty moans in his ears. Oh, it was heaven.
The only issue now is…well…he wants more. So much more.
He spent most of his time last night after the hot tub sex thinking the next moment he’d be able to fuck you. Thinking how he’d be able to get you alone long enough or even have the opportunity to get you alone.
Another problem is, that those chances are slim.
You lifted the collar of your hoodie over your neck, not wanting to chance your brother, or really anyone, seeing Jake’s necklace.
You both crossed a line and now have to deal with the secret of it.
The sound of the washing machine went off, telling you your laundry was finished.
You quickly jumped from the couch.
“What are we doing for lunch?” Jay finally said, “Y/N? What do you think?
You stopped halfway out of the living room, turning back to look at your brother, “Why not just order takeout?”
Jay shrugged, “Guys?”
As the boys discussed lunch, you finished your walk back to the laundry room.
By the time you transferred your wet clothes into the dryer, Jake walked in, “Is the washer open now?”
You gave him a nod, closing the dryer door and turning it on.
“What did you decide for lunch?” you asked, leaning against the dryer.
Jake shoved his dirty clothes into the washing machine, “We decided on takeout like you suggested.”
You nodded, “Nice, I’ll go tell Jay what I want.”
You barely were out of the room when Jake’s hand wrapped around your wrist.
He pulled you back, leaning you back against the dryer, “Stay, please.”
Jake’s free hand gripped the door, barely leaving it open a crack.
Before you could ask him anything else, his hands cupped your face, his lips crashing to yours.
You kissed him back, your hands pulling at his jacket, bringing him closer to you.
Jake has been waiting since watching you walk up those stairs last night to kiss you again. To feel you pressed to him again.
With one last passionate kiss, he rests his forehead against yours, “Jay already knows your order, no need to leave.”
It was true your brother knew your food orders, which was all you needed to stay in place even after Jake removed himself from you to finish starting his laundry.
Once the washer was started, he leaned against it beside you, crossing his arms, “Can I ask you something?”
You nudged his arm, “Yes, of course! We’ve known each other for our whole lives, you can ask me anything.”
“Can I sneak up to your room tonight?”
It was a simple question, yet it was enough to make your heart stop. He bit the inside of his mouth, anxiously waiting for your answer.
His question was proof that last night wasn’t a one-time thing. And honestly, you wouldn’t mind it. If Jay’s bedroom wasn’t right beside yours.
“Jake,” you whispered, peeking your eyes between the cracked door, “You know his bedroom is right beside mine, right? And my parents' room down the hall?”
Jake shrugged, “And? That’s the point of sneaking into your room like we are teenagers.”
You tried to not laugh, looking away from him and his goofy grin.
“Come onnnn baby,” he teased, pulling you to his chest, “Let me shove that pretty face of yours face down into your pillows while I fuck you so good from behind.”
He slid his hands down to your ass, squeezing the fat while he pressed his hard length against you, his lips finding your neck, “Wanna fuck you so hard and watch my necklace bounce against your pretty collarbones.”
You were melting under his touch. Folding so hard for him. He makes your heart race faster than anyone else ever has.
“Please…” you softly moaned, hoping he heard you over the sounds of the machines.
He did. Hearing you beg for him to fold you like an omelet later tonight was turning him on so badly. He thrust his cock harder against you.
“Get on your knees, baby,” Jake whispered into your ear, sending chills down your spine.
You dropped down with no hesitation, hands already reaching for the buttons of his jeans, helping him slide them down along with his boxers in one motion.
Your mouth watered at the sight of his hard cock resting against his abdomen.
Jake stroked himself, watching how undone you’re already becoming for him, “Such a good girl for me. Put your hands on my thighs, and stick that pretty tongue out.”
You did what you were told, hands resting against his toned thighs, tongue sliding out of your mouth.
“Fuck…”
He placed the tip onto your tongue, immediately wrapping the muscle around him, taking him completely in your mouth.
Jake groaned, his hands gripping the edges of the washing machine and praying his knees wouldn't fail him now.
You bobbed your head, tongue licking up his shaft all the way to the top, spreading his precum and mixing it with your saliva.
Lifting your hand from his thigh, you wrapped it around his length, following the motions as your mouth.
Fuck you were sucking him off so good. His mind went cloudy, the only thing he focused on was how fucking good your mouth felt.
Jake pulled your long hair into a ponytail, wrapping the locks between his fingers and giving it a tight pull.
You moaned against him, the vibrations sending gasping out of his mouth, his hips fucking forward, “Oh, fuck…Y/N, fuck.”
Jake pulled your hair slightly harder, not wanting to hurt you, his dick hitting the back of your throat as he fucked your mouth.
Your hands found his thighs again, fingers digging into his skin. You were losing yourself against his cock, knowing full well your panties were soaked.
You looked up at him, seeing how much of a mess he was. Pupils were blown out, mouth opened, chest heaving.
Who knew you could make such a mess of him?
“Sucking me off so good, Y/N. I’m…fuck I’m, I’m gonna cum.”
You stuck your tongue out further, giving him more access to the back of your throat as he continued to face fuck you until his warm load shot down your throat.
“Clench your lips,” he whispered between breaths. You did as you were told, him slowly sliding his dick from your lips, “Swallow and show me.”
You gulped it down, opening your mouth wide with your tongue sticking out, showing him the proof.
Jake smirked, using your hair that was still wrapped around his hands to pull you back up to your feet, “Such a dirty girl, only for me, ya?”
You nodded, licking the side of your lips.
He gave you one final kiss, then pulled his boxers and jeans back over his hips.
The laughter from your brother and friends from the living room filled the house while they cheered over their video games.
Jake’s fingers adjusted his necklace on your neck, fingers rubbing up to your jaw, his heart did flips seeing how you stared back at him with your fucked out lips.
“Let’s go back, can’t let them get too suspicious.”
Jake watched as you left, carrying your laundry basket quickly up the stairs to your room.
He leaned back against the washing machine, hand clenching his shirt, feeling the rush of his heartbeat.
Oh, he’s in deep trouble.
—
Jake’s promise to fuck you face down ass up was fulfilled. Yours and his clothes scattered all over the floor of your room. Your moans being muffled out by your pillows and Jake’s hand at the back of your head shoving your face deeper into the fabric. It was the best you’ve ever been fucked.
Your bed felt empty after Jake snuck right back out your door and went back downstairs.
You were scared tonight would be the last, but fortunately for you, it wasn’t.
The following night he quietly knocked on your door before quickly slipping in and crawling into bed with you.
This went on for the rest of the week. The two of you finding time throughout the day to have a quick make-out session just for him to crawl into your bed at night.
But it wasn’t always the rough sex you’d have. One night Jake cuddled you until you fell asleep before quietly exiting your bedroom. One night he held you in his arms listening to you talk about your classes back at college and the friends you had. One night he laid his head against your chest, listening to the sweet sound of your breathing and heartbeat. And then, oh god that night, it wasn’t rough sex or even a good fuck. He made love to you.
He hovered over you, one hand gently cupping your face as he squeezed your leg that was wrapped around his waist. Soft and slow thrusts were completely turned on just from being with each other and the feeling of skin-to-skin contact. How softly he’d kiss you and tell you how pretty you are. How lucky he was to have you in his life.
That’s the night you completely folded. You fell in love with him. It wasn’t about the sex anymore. It was about him. About the man you’ve known your whole life, that you grew with and watched him become who he is today.
Your feelings for him ran deep.
The secret meet-ups during the day turned into playful kisses, him wrapping you up in his arms and hugging you tightly.
You were really screwed.
The final week of vacation was half over and Jake was dreading the finale. He wasn’t ready to leave you yet. Wasn’t ready to let you go. Knowing damn well the minute you go your separate ways he would lose his goddamn mind.
All because of Jay’s rules. All because of the fucking “off limits”.
You and Sunghoon made lunch for everyone, giving your brother a day off from cooking.
Since you weren’t the best cook, ramen was on the menu.
You prepared the noodles and broth while Sunghoon prepared the meat.
“You guys both know that if this ramen turns out like shit it won’t be me beating your asses right?” your brother teased, his eyes looking between Jake and Heeseung.
“Yeah yeah fuck off,” Sunghoon rolled his eyes, “We know the ramen lovers will lose their shits. They’ll survive.”
“Hey now,” Jake snipped, turning around to face his friend, “I am so serious about my ramen!”
Heeseung agreed, high-fiving Jake, “We don’t fuck around when it comes to our ramen.”
You finished up two bowls, rolling your eyes as you set the first fresh bowls in front of the ramyeonz, “You both are so annoying!”
“They are, aren’t…they.” Jay’s eyes fixated on the necklace around your neck. He barely noticed it with the way your sweatshirt covered it. But when you bent down just right to put the bowls in front of Heeseung and Jake, it became noticeable.
If it weren’t for Heeseung sitting to his left, and Jake sitting in front of him, Jay wouldn’t have clocked the necklace as suspicious and went on about his day.
But the necklace looked familiar, and all it took was Jay’s eyes to wander to his best friend, no longer seeing the silver chain sitting against his neck.
“Can’t believe I’ve spent my whole life stuck with annoying boys like you!” You teased them, earning a middle finger from Heeseung and Jake scoffing out an “whatever” trying to shove you playfully but missing as you were too quick to back away.
“We are men! And you totally love us!” Heeseung said with a mouthful of ramen, “Doesn’t she Jake? We are the extra brothers you didn’t ask for.”
Jay clocked the look on Jake’s face, the awkward smile he had, and the way he was hesitant to answer, “Y-yeah. Of course.”
“We are stuck with you just as much as you’re stuck with us,” Sunghoon added, “Get over it.”
You elbowed him, “Whatever Hoon!” his smile and laugh causing your own to form. These boys were truly dear to your heart, and it took years of being away from all four of them to realize how deeply you did miss them. Especially your brother.
Jay kept quiet most of lunch, his eyes wandering back and forth between you and Jake. Taking mental notes of everything in the small details.
How you look at him, how he looks at you. How you sat beside him at the table when you usually sit beside Jay or Sunghoon. The little graze of Jake’s hand ran across your ass as he walked past you while you and Heeseung cleaned the dishes, causing you to scrunch your nose at him, thinking no one noticed.
You all went grocery shopping to refill the food in your parent's cabinets and fridge, Jay taking notes on how Jake was always right behind you or straying not too far from you. Jay was hoping he was overthinking, that maybe the two of you got closer after the bar fight last week, but something didn’t sit right with Jay.
He lay in his bed staring up at the ceiling that night, the sight of Jake’s necklace suddenly appearing around your neck.
Jay shoved his face into his pillow, trying to chase after the sleep he deeply needed and wanted, wanting to forget everything and give his best friend the benefit of the doubt, to trust the bond they had and the rules that were set.
That was until he heard your bedroom door opening and quickly shutting right after.
Jake spreads your legs and wraps them around his waist as he bottoms out, one hand flying to cover your mouth as he fucks into you fast and deep.
Both of you became a cumming mess.
You pulled your shorts over your hips and Jake’s tee shirt that you stole from his clean laundry over your head.
After Jake had his boxers over his hips, he playfully pulled you down onto your bed, his face cuddling up into your neck, “I don’t think I ever could get enough of your pussy.”
You wrap your arms around his bare back, drawing small infinity eights, “And I don’t think I ever could get enough of your dick.”
You felt him smile against your skin, “At least we are on the same page.”
Jake could get so high off the sex you have, it was addicting, his own personal drug.
His heartbeat fastened due to the thought of being away from you. Deciding now was a better time than any to bring up the topic.
Jake sat up, his hand resting at your hip, “Y/N, can-“
Before Jake could get another word out, your worst fear came to fruition.
The door opened with such force, your brother standing in the doorway, jaw locked tightly and fists clenched.
“I fucking knew it!”
Your heart stopped, quickly sitting up, trying to find the right words.
Jake sat up behind you, “Jay, bro, listen to me,”
“There isn’t a DAMN thing to listen to!” Jay yelled, turning on his heels.
“JAY!!” Jake yelled back, jumping from your bed and quickly sliding back into his sweatpants, pulling his shirt over his head as he followed your brother down the stairs, “Man stop we need to talk!!”
You finally found the will to move, climbing out of your bed and rushing down the stairs at the right moment of Sunghoon and Heeseung running from the spare bedroom, confused looks piled onto their faces.
“Will you listen to me!” Jake grabbed his friend's shoulder, Jay quickly whipped around and threw his hand off him.
“Listen to you? Give me one goddamn reason why I should be listening to you right now?!” Jay snapped, getting into Jake’s face.
“Woah! Woah!” Heeseung rushed over, pushing himself between them.
“Because I am your best friend man!” Jake snapped back.
“Yeah? My best friend?” Jay moved forward, Sunghoon now had to step in, pushing Jay back as Heeseung handled Jake, “My best friend wouldn’t be dicking down my little sister!!”
Everyone in the room froze, Sunghoon and Heeseung making glances between each other, and then between Jay and Jake.
Jake’s jaw locked, not wanting to say the wrong thing right now.
You stood at the last step of the stairs, too scared to move.
“I gave you one, ONE, rule. That she was off limits,” Jay’s eyes found you, “And you! I said no boys!”
“Nah, man!” Jake finally spoke up, stepping in front of Jay’s line of sight, “This is between you and me. Leave her out of it.”
“She betrayed me just as much as you did!” Jay scoffed, “How could you do this to me, man?”
Jay relaxed his body as he leaned against the couch, Jake also relaxed, “Bro it just…it just happened.”
That wasn’t the right thing to say, “How does it just “happen” Sim Jaeyun?! Huh?!”
shit.
Jake rolled his eyes, “Dude, I don’t know!” he threw his arms into the air, “It just did!”
“Stop lying!” Jay stood back up, “Stop fucking lying to me!”
“Oh good FUCKING god! Why are you so protective over her?! She’s a grown-ass adult!” Jake ran his hand through his hair, “We aren’t kids anymore man!”
“That doesn’t change the fact that she’s my everything!! From the moment she was born, I promised I was going to protect her from everyone! including you.”
Jake chuckled, “Protect her from what?!”
“From her getting hurt!”
“I wouldn’t do that!”
“What’s so different with her then huh?” Jay stepped forward, Sunghoon placing his hand on his chest, “What’s so different dicking down the girls in chem class and my sister, hmm? You’re such a play—“
“I am in love with her.” Jake spat out.
The room fell silent, confusion not only on Jay’s face but your own.
“What?”
“I’m in love with her, man,” Jake sighed with a shake of his head, “I’ve always been in love with her. Even as kids, I…I always had this ache in my heart, never understanding what it was, and because of your stupid ass rule…I was never able to figure it out.”
Jay relaxed himself back against the couch, eyes staring holes into the floor.
Jake continued, “Yeah I might have been a stupid ass playboy and completely forgot about your sister and what she meant to me but good god, the minute she stepped foot into this house…” Jake turned and looked at you, “Everything I felt all those years ago became clear.”
Jay looks up at you, the hardness that once sat in his eyes a second ago was gone, nothing sat there except soft sadness.
“Yes, I’ll admit, I had sex with your sister at first to release the sexual frustration, but the moment it happened…I was done for.”
Jake placed his hands on your face, his forehead touching yours, “She’s everything to me too, Jay.”
Jay let out a sigh, “What about you, stink? What’s your side?”
You remove yourself from Jake, walking around him and standing in front of your older brother, “I love him,” Jay rolled his eyes, staring back down at the floor, “But I love you too!! Jongseong, you’re my everything too. You’re the best big brother I could have ever asked for, you’ve done your job protecting me.”
Jay looked at you with glossed-over eyes, “Why him? Why out of everyone, one of my best friends?”
You shrugged, “It just happened that way.”
You stepped closer to him, pulling him into a hug, he gave in and hugged you tightly back.
“I am deeply and truly sorry that everything happened this way. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
Jay knew that, deep down he knew this wasn’t what either you or Jake wanted. That this was something that just kinda happened. And he has to accept it.
Jake appears at your side, having you step away, pulling Jay into another hug, “I won’t hurt her. I promise. I’d die first before I’d ever do that.”
Jay sighed, also giving into Jake and hugging him back, “Hurt her and it’s your funeral I am planning.”
Jake chuckled, slapping his best friend on the back, “No problem there buddy.”
Jay pushed Jake away, “Okay, let’s all go back to bed. I am sure we already disturbed my parents enough.”
You let out a yawn, exhaustion sweeping over you.
Heeseung and Sunghoon walked towards the spare room and you up the stairs, Jake following behind you.
“Uhhh nah,” Jay snapped his fingers, pushing Jake towards the spare room, “You ain’t going back up there.”
“Come on dude.” Jake groaned.
“No, I’m sleeping in front of her door.” Jay pointed at the two others, “Make sure he doesn’t leave the room.”’
You rolled your eyes and continued up the stairs, “You all are really actually annoying.”
—
You sat at the kitchen table, peeling the potatoes for tonight's dinner, watching as the four boys and your dad stood outside in the cold grilling the meats.
Your mom stood behind you at the island, tossing the salad. Her careful eyes studied you, “Want to talk about it, my sweet daughter?”
You turned and faced her, “Talk about what?”
She gives you a soft smile, “About the reason your brother was screaming last night.”
You sighed, turning back around to continue peeling the potatoes, “You and dad heard everything?”
Your mother sat down beside you, taking the peeler and potato out of your hands, forcing you to face her.
“Honey, your brother is a very vocal person when he’s upset. It scared us half to death.”
She held your hands, her thumbs circling your palms, “Why didn’t you come and stop the fight?”
She sighs, looking outside at your father, “We wanted to, but your father said it was best for you guys to handle it. It was a matter we couldn’t step into.”
You understood that, everyone here is grown adults, your parents stepping in probably more than likely wouldn’t have helped anyway.
You followed your mother's gaze outside, watching as your brother flipped over the steak with dad right beside him. Jake sorted the raw meat into separate plates, handing them off to Jay to be grilled while Heeseung and Sunghoon helped cut the cooked meat into pieces.
Your eyes lingered on Jake, watching as he said something to Jay, your brother smiling wide and shoving Jake. That made you happy at least, knowing that your betrayal didn’t completely shatter their friendship.
“Y/N, you love him, don’t you sweetheart?”
You nodded, the tears swelling up in your eyes, “Momma I love him so much. But the fact Jay caught us the way he did is eating me alive. The last thing I wanted to do was see that betrayal and hurt in my brother's eyes.”
“Y/N, can I tell you a little story?”
You nodded, looking back at her. She wiped the tears off your face and squeezed your hand, “You want to know why your brother started that rule in the first place?”
You nodded again.
“It was Jongseong’s tenth birthday party, and Jaeyun just returned from visiting Australia, you remember that?”
You slightly nodded, trying to recall the memory. Jake would disappear to the land of kangaroos at least once or twice a year growing up. Narrowing down specifically when this is in this situation would be hard to pinpoint.
“Well, Jaeyun brought back gifts, not just for you know, your brother, Heeseung and Sunghoon, but one for you.”
The memory completely came back to you. Jake brought you back a small keychain with a baby joey and your name on it. You had that keychain on your school backpack for a couple of years until you lost it.
“I remember, Jay was irritated with me that day and I couldn’t figure out why, I was only nine.”
Your mother nodded, “It was the first, and last time may I add, that Jaeyun ever brought you back a gift.” she softly laughed at the memory, “Little Jaeyun handed your brother his birthday gift and souvenir, giving Heeseung and Sunghoon theirs, then he rushed away from the picnic table looking for you. That little keychain was in his hands until it was placed into your hands. Oh, was your brother upset.”
“So he was jealous that I also got a gift?” You raised your brow, glancing back outside at your brother, jealousy was never something he had or even showed.
“That’s what we thought it was at first, just Jongseong being jealous that his baby sister also got a gift on his birthday. Your dad tried calming him down for a good twenty minutes.”
Jay and Jake started to play fighting outside, running further into the yard as your dad just laughed and took a sip of his beer bottle.
“After your dad got him calmed down, we were finally able to talk to him about why it upset him, and you know what he said?”
You looked back at your mom, waiting for the answer.
“That you were too young for a boyfriend,” you rolled your eyes, of course he said that. Even as a child at the age of ten, he wanted you nowhere near other boys, “We had to explain to him that just because Jaeyun brought you back a gift, didn’t mean he likes you. But your brother wasn’t having any of it, kept saying over and over that the look Jaeyun gave you said otherwise. Then he told your father no one would be good enough for his little sister, that you were a prize that could never be won. So he came up with his rules. His friends were told you were now off limits, specifically to Jaeyun. And then he told you no boys.”
Your heart melted, knowing that Jay’s rules were always just a way to protect you, that he held you on such a high pedestal to the point no male would ever be good enough for you in his eyes. That you did indeed deserve so much.
“Obviously, your brother didn’t want you dating his friends, it would have been weird, mostly with how close the five of you were growing up. But your father and I figured he would have eventually let it go.”
You shrugged, making eye contact with Jay, he gave you a small smile before returning back to the grill after his play fight with Jake, “But you know, mom, I am grateful for his rules. He has helped me get out of so many terrible relationships and helped me see my worth.”
Your mom pulled you into a hug, “He loves you so much. You two are truly blessed to have each other as siblings.”
You agreed, no one will ever compare to your brother.
Your mom pulled back, rubbing your shoulders before standing up and going back to the island, “I always secretly wanted you to get with one of them.”
“Mother!” you snapped, “Huh?!”
“What?” She smiled, “Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon have always been good kids. I practically raised them! If any boy would be good enough for my daughter it would be one of them. Just funny how the person who created the whole reason the rules came into place is the same one who took your heart.”
You had to admit, it was funny. No wonder Jay literally lost his bonkers last night, questioning you on why Jake.
“Treat him well, Y/N. And give your brother some time to get over it. He’s strong, and he will get over it. Don’t beat yourself up or let it affect your relationship with Jake.”
Your mother was right. But you still can’t help but feel a bit guilty. Jay deserved the truth from the beginning.
—
The rest of the week went by in a flash. And turns out you really had nothing to worry about with Jake and Jay.
The two boys moved on like it didn’t happen, that their friendship was never on the line to begin with.
Jay even was being his normal self to you.
Dinner last night Jake sat beside you and even put his arm around you, and Jay didn’t even bat an eye.
It felt…different. You and Jake went from secretly hiding around to holding hands, hugging you any moment he could, and weren’t afraid to sit close to you. The only thing he secretly did was when he wanted to kiss you. Which you understood.
Jake still snuck into your room as well. That didn’t change. But the final night at the house, Jay straight up told him to spend any final moments with you.
Unfortunately, the night went by too quickly. You woke up in Jake’s arms, the only thing that could be heard was the sounds of his soft breathing and his heartbeat in your ear.
Jay’s alarms went off in his room, then the sound of his feet shuffling against the floor. You knew it was time to get up.
You got Jake up, sending him downstairs to pack and get ready.
Time was flying too fast, and soon enough your parents stood on the front porch, hugging each of you goodbye.
“Please come back home soon!” Your mother whined, tears staining her face, “I miss you both already!” She pulled you and Jay into a hug.
You fought back your tears, and you could tell your brother was too.
Your parents hugged the other boys as well, telling them to not be strangers and stop by anytime they come home or to even come back when Jay does.
But then the moment you wanted to shove away came, saying goodbye to Jake.
You hugged Heeseung, “Keep in touch kiddo!” he said with a pat on your head, “Stay out of trouble.”
“I think you’re the one who needs to stay out of trouble, Hee.” You pinched his arm, then moved on to Sunghoon, “You too! I heard all about your party shenanigans!”
Sunghoon playfully shoved you, “As if!” and then pulled you into a hug.
Jay was next.
“C'mere stinks.” Jay pulled you into a tight hug, “Thank you for agreeing to spend the rest of your time with us.”
You nodded against his shoulder, “I’m so glad you convinced me.”
Jay gave you one last tight squeeze before releasing you, “Love ya, please stay safe and talk often, ya?”
“Of course.”
He gave you one last smile, before his eyes lifted over behind you, “And keep him in check, ya? I can’t do it on my own.”
You turned behind you just in time to see Jake roll his eyes, “Dude, I keep myself in check.”
You patted his arm, “Sure you do babe, it’s okay.”
Everyone had their laughs except for Jake who rolled his eyes once again. “I hate you all.”
“Whatever, go say your goodbyes so we can leave,” Jay said, shooing you away.
Jake followed you to your car, his hands settling on your waist as he pulled your body to his, leaving no space in between. “I’m not ready to leave you yet.”
“I don’t want to leave you either, Jake.”
He really wasn’t ready to leave you yet, wasn’t ready to be apart, “Why did you choose a college so far away?”
You gigged, “Because at the time it’s where I wanted to be.”
“Transfer. Come be with me.”
You smiled at him, cupping his face, “I’ll think about it.”
Jake shook his head, sticking his tongue out at you, “Don’t tease me.”
You touched his forehead to yours, “I’ll miss you, so much.”
Oh, now Jake wanted to cry, “God knows how badly I’ll miss you too.”
He pulled you even closer, lips connecting to yours.
Jake kissed you like you were about to disappear from his grasp. Like the universe was going to rip you away from him.
Your cherry chapstick filled his senses and made his head spin, oh the things he’d do and the crimes he’d commit to always get a taste of your lips.
“Hey!!” Jay shouted from his car, his head hanging out the driver's side window, Heeseung and Sunghoon also peeking out their windows, “You gonna keep making out with my little sister or we gonna hit the road? She’s got a longer drive than us!”
Jake laughed against your lips, head turning to his friend, “If you’re going to give me a choice then…”
“Hurry up!” Jay snapped with a laugh.
“Go,” you said, “You’ll see me soon.”
Jake placed one final kiss on your lips, pulling away as he walked backward towards Jay’s car.
“I love you!” Jake shouted freely, finally happy to say those three words he’d been holding back.
“I love you too!!” You shouted back.
“Call me when you’re back in your dorm!”
You nodded, climbing into your car. Jake got into the back of Jay’s car, letting out a sigh.
“Missing your girlfriend already?” Heeseung teased.
“Man,” Jake shook his head, “Shut up.”
Jay took off down the street, slouching down into the seat, “Don’t worry, man.”
Jake slung his head back onto the seat, staring out the window, “How can I not?”
Jay looked into the rearview mirror, “I already have a plan to convince her to transfer.” Jake smiled, “If I can convince her to come home for two weeks, I can convince her to transfer. It’s already in motion.”
Jake sat up, slapping his friend on the shoulder, “My man!”
Jay knew he had to get used to seeing Jake with you, and he already could imagine the pain you both would feel being apart. Plus, having you around more often wouldn’t be a bad idea. It would be just like when you were all kids.
Jake sat back down in the seat, his smile never fading with thoughts of you.
—tags: @wooziswife @enhaslxt @woniebae @nctislifue @nanabbg @rikisnuggie @ericluvs @nyfwyeonjun @ratedjaeyoon @addictedtohobi @nshmrarki @hey-hey-heybitch @eneiyri @smiling-lion @loves0ft @luvswonyoung
I NEED HIM LIKE I NEED AIR TO BREATH!!! 😭
enhypen followed you !
idol!jake x engene!reader
synopsis - jake, being the clumsy guy he is, accidentally follows you from the official enhypen account on twitter. this leads to your life taking a full 180 and now having to deal with being in the public eye.
featuring: enhypen, chaewon and yunjin of le sserafim, beomgyu and soobin of tomorrow by together
tags ⨾ crackfic, smau, strangers(?) to lovers, jokes (no promises they are actually funny tho), angst, fluff, miscommunication, reader is a bit oblivious, swearing
taglist ⨾ open (send an ask or comment ; check b4 asking)
status ⨾ on hiatus
clowns | no hyphen
prologue
1 ! rikijackson05
2 ! i don’t think bang si hyuk wants me
3 ! not you hypnotizing yourself
4 ! from state farm?
5 ! funsies
6 ! batshit crazy
7 ! it’s jake
8 ! no rizz
9 ! my immune system is too strong
10 ! that wasn’t very girl boss of you
11 ! i am enhypen
12 ! you’re not slick
13 ! shorter than me
14 ! sunki = enemy
15 ! def not you
16 ! sad hamster
17 ! i don’t got this
18 ! hi yn *heart eyes*
19 ! character development
20 ! yunki is over
21 ! jake’s a cheater!
22 ! pretty girl
23 ! im not delusional!
24 ! not the only loser
25 ! mr.best friend
26 ! girlfriend
27 !
28 !
29 !
30 !
tbd…
please don’t spam like posts, repost, translate, or use my work without my permission. all work is fictional and only used for entertainment purposes. © st4rwon 2024
oh… best friend!sunghoon park, the man you are!
stupid in love - psh (m)
this work contains smut - minors please do not interact
pairing. best friend!sunghoon x fem!reader
synopsis. One night early on in your summer vacation, your best friend Sunghoon admits that his biggest anxiety about starting college is going there as a virgin - one thing leads to another, and you end up learning a few things from each other. The more time passes, the more obvious it becomes that your feelings for each other surpass friendship, but with the end of summer looming over your heads, it's hard to tell where these newfound emotions will lead you.
genre. best friends/childhood friends 2 lovers, summer au, lots of fluff and smut but also some angst to spice things up, when i say smut i mean LOTS of smut. like mostly smut lol (mutual first time, ice play, crazy stuff)
word count. 22.1k
a/n. bringing this one back from the pits of my google docs guys.. its been so long since i've posted anything and im not sure when the new hoon fic will be ready so i thought i'd repost an og asahicore fic!!! the title was originally 'hot like ice' but i changed it bc this is my blog and i do what i want <3 i'd also like to say that in terms of plot this is probably not something i would write nowadays, it's very smut-heavy and thats not what im about now idk i was crazy back then... but i rmb being happy w this fic and its reception when i first posted it so i'm happy to have it back on my blog and hope u guys will like it too <3 as always lmk what u think!!
It all started with a lollipop. Well, two, to be exact. One strawberry-flavored, one apple-flavored.
You stand in front of your friend, lollipops in hand. “Which one do you want, Hoon?”
“I don’t mind, just pick whichever one you like best,” he replies absent-mindedly, eyes on the TV as he tries to find a suitable movie for this late summer afternoon.
You plop down on the couch next to him and look at the two lollipops in your hands, unable to decide which flavor you like better. “I don’t know what I feel like right now,” you announce to an uninterested Sunghoon. “I’ll just try both.”
That seems to catch your best friend’s attention. He watches as you unwrap both candies, tasting each once, twice, then as you decide you want the apple-flavored lollipop and hand him the strawberry-flavored one. He doesn’t take his eyes off of your lips as you wrap them and swirl your tongue around the candy, letting its sweetness wash over your taste buds. You raise your eyebrows when you notice his staring and he blinks a couple times, trying to snap himself out of it. “Did you want the other one?” you ask, confused by his behavior.
“N-no, I like strawberry,” he stammers, turning his gaze back to the screen in front of you and settling for ‘When Harry Met Sally,’ a movie you’ve both seen a thousand times but never get bored of.
You’re used to Sunghoon getting lost in his thoughts, so you don’t question it much. You sit back on the couch, your knee touching his. You two are no strangers to a little skinship - after being friends for almost eight years, physical contact comes naturally. You have to admit that recently, it’s started to feel different; but the idea of your friendship changing tugs at your heartstrings so much that you ignore the prickles on your skin when he hugs you or the way your stomach flips when he smiles at you, dimples and sharp canines on display. You tell yourself it’s all stupid and that you can handle so much as your knees touching.
Sunghoon, on the other hand, can't. The lollipop in his mouth right now was in yours mere moments ago and you’d given it to him like sharing saliva was no big deal. He feels like a thirteen year-old for thinking like this, but this was pretty much an indirect kiss.
He stares at the TV screen, but all he can see are your perfect lips sucking that lollipop, and his mind is desperately not trying to go there, but he just cannot help himself. Blood rushes to his dick as he pictures your mouth around him, sucking him off with as much enthusiasm as you are the lollipop. Would you like his taste? Would you look up at him with those pretty eyes of yours, smiling even with his dick stuffed in your mouth?
His own thoughts catch him off guard, and before they can get any wilder, he runs off to the bathroom, knowing he’d never live it down if you caught a glimpse of his erection. Thankfully, you don’t, and you call after him, asking if he wants you to pause the movie, to which he shouts back a strangled ‘no.’
He comes back ten minutes later, face flushed and breath heavy. “Goddamn, Hoon, I know we’re best friends, but if you’re going to dump a massive load, I wished you did it in your own bathroom and not mine,” you tease him, laughing as his face gets even redder and he opens his mouth to protest.
“I was just on my phone!” he replies, mildly offended.
“Whatever,” you say, still laughing, and turn your attention back to the movie.
Well. Sunghoon would rather have you think he just took a huge shit than have you know he came to the idea of you sucking him off and swallowing every last drop of his cum.
--
A few days later, you and Sunghoon are lying on his bed, the both of you on your backs, talking about this and that as you often do. It’s almost 3 a.m., and it feels almost rebellious, being up this late after months of waking up at 6, but your high school graduation was a week ago and you feel like you can do anything. The dim fairy lights you forced him to put up and the bright moon outside are the only sources of light in the room, and when you turn to look at him, you can just make out the outline of his face, the curve of his nose, the sharpness of his jaw. You've looked at him a thousand times before, so your memory makes up for what the light takes away from your eyes. You shift to lying on your stomach, propping yourself up on your elbows so you can take a better look at your friend. Something about the moonlight makes him look ethereal, and his beauty makes your heart skip a beat, but you’d never admit that to him. Out of habit, you reach out to touch his moles, gently placing your middle finger on his nose and your pointer finger on his cheek. Sunghoon closes his eyes at your touch, used to the warm feeling that settles in his stomach whenever you do that.
“Y/N?” he calls out, just as you pull your fingers away from his moles.
“Yeah?”
He opens his eyes again, meeting yours. “Is there anything you’re scared of for next year? You know, heading off to college and all that?” You shift again and lie on your back, the sides of your two bodies touching. You stare at the ceiling for a while, thinking about his question, and Sunghoon patiently waits for your answer.
“I’m scared about not making friends. I’m not the least outgoing person ever, but it’s so intimidating, not knowing anyone. And it’ll be weird not having you around. Shut up,” you warn before he can make an egotistical remark, so he just chuckles. “I’m also worried about the amount of work I’ll have. I’ve heard so many times that it’s a huge step-up from high school, the workload and the type of work and all that. What if I don’t even like the degree that I chose? I know I can change it, but it still stresses me out. Turning 18 doesn’t feel like a huge deal, but going to college does. It’s when all the responsibility hits. My mom told me to make my own doctor’s appointment the other day, and I almost cried when I had to call them. I’m not gonna have anyone to do my groceries for me. I’m scared I might get an awful roommate. I hate the idea of communal showers. I don’t even know what I want to do after college, and I know I have four years to make up my mind, but I’m scared those four years are gonna flash by and I’ll be indebted and unemployed by the end of it.” You pause to take a breath, and you can feel Sunghoon’s eyes on the sides of your face, but he doesn’t say anything. “Also, I heard that you put on a lot of weight during your freshman year.”
You turn to look at him to find him smiling at you. “Wow. That’s a lot.”
The two of you giggle, eyes not leaving the other’s. After a moment, you turn your gaze back to the ceiling and sigh. “Yeah, I know. But I’m more excited than I am scared. What about you?”
Sunghoon follows your gaze and looks up above him. He doesn’t say anything for a while, and when he finally speaks up, he says it so quietly, you almost don’t hear it. “I’m scared of going to college a virgin.”
You try to stay serious for a few seconds, but you can’t keep your laughter in and snort loudly at your friend’s words, laughing so hard your stomach starts to hurt.
“Don’t make fun of me!” he whines, hands coming up to cover his face.
It takes you a while to calm down; not only was Sunghoon’s statement ridiculous, it was so unexpected that you couldn’t stop laughing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you apologize, catching your breath. “I just can’t believe that that’s what you’re scared of, of all things.”
“What? It’s a perfectly reasonable concern,” he defends himself.
“Nobody’s gonna care if you’re a virgin, Hoon,” you try to reason with him, but if there is one thing your best friend is, it’s stubborn.
“I’m gonna care! What if I like a girl but I can’t bring myself to make a move on her ‘cause I have no experience?”
“But Hoon, chances are she doesn’t have a lot more experience than you do! She’ll be the same age we are, dummy. We’re not sixteen year-olds jumping into a world of twenty year-olds. Sure, some people have their first time in high school, but a lot do it at university. You’ll be fine,” you reassure. His furrowed eyebrows and pout tell you he’s not fully convinced, though.
“Oh, c’mon! If you really want to lose your virginity before leaving, we can get you laid during the summer. I’m sure we can find a girl nice enough,” you tease, jokingly patting his bicep, trying not to make a note of how firm the skin feels under your hand.
Sunghoon sighs, and you can tell he’s actually taking this seriously. “I’m not that desperate that I’d have sex with the first girl that agrees, you know. I’d still rather do it with someone…” He glances at you for just a second. “Someone I trust.”
You feel your face heat up at the possible meaning behind his words, so you look away, not wanting him to see the effect they had on you. He changes his position on the bed, and now it’s his turn to prop himself up on his elbows and look down at you.
“What about you, Y/N? Don’t you think it’d be good to get a bit of experience before going off to college? It’ll be one less thing to stress about,” he says, a small smirk playing on his lips, and his shy demeanor from moments prior is completely gone. Out of fear that his ego would get even bigger, you'd never tell him, but you love it when he gets like that - when he thinks he’s the shit and teases you mercilessly. You know he does it lightheartedly, and it never fails to bring a smile to your face.
Except right now it does. You’re not smiling, far from it; you’re looking up at your best friend, mouth slightly agape and wide eyes searching for a sign that he may be just joking. He raises an eyebrow expectantly, and your reaction is to scoff at him.
“Do I need to remind you that you’re the reason I have no experience to begin with, Park Sunghoon?” you ask, sitting up on the bed to peer down at him. He shifts again and lays on his back, his hands coming up behind his head as he beams at you.
“Am I really?”
You wish you could slap that shit-eating grin off of his face. This is not the first time you're having this conversation. “Yes, Hoon. Every time a guy was even remotely interested in me, you chased them away. I’m still not over you telling Kang Taehyun I have smelly feet! I had a huge crush on that guy!”
Sunghoon loudly laughs at the memory, and you curse yourself for cracking a smile when you see his face scrunched in laughter. “That was in Year 5, Y/N! It’s been years!”
You grab a pillow and throw it at his head, unable to not laugh along with him. “What about Bang Yedam, then? That was only last year, and you totally ruined my chances with him!”
“Listen, if you having a creepy doll collection is enough to make him not ask you out, then he must not have liked you that much.”
“But I don’t have a creepy doll collection! That’s the whole point!” you say, on the brink of desperation. You sigh at your friend who’s still catching his breath from laughing so much. “You’re just lucky they didn’t repeat your bullshit to anyone. I would’ve had such a weird reputation otherwise.”
“Of course they didn’t. I told them I’d kill them if they did,” he stated matter-of-factly, as if that was a normal and appropriate thing to do.
“Couldn’t you have threatened them that way so they wouldn’t ask me out instead of lying to them about me?”
Sunghoon stares at you for a few seconds, eyes seemingly empty of thought. “Huh. Yeah, I guess I could’ve done that.”
“Ugh,” you groan, and plop down on the bed next to him. Neither of you says anything for some time, until you break the silence again. “You know you even stole my first kiss, Hoon,” you speak softly.
“I know,” he says, voice just as quiet as yours. “You never shut up about it.”
“Why would I? I was about to kiss Lee Heeseung, of all people, the boy everybody, including me, had a crush on, but no, someone had to get between us and kiss me in his stead,” you grumble, giving your friend a harsh side-eye.
Sunghoon sighs and shakes his head as if you’re being irrational. “I don’t get why you’re so hung-up on that. Why would you want your first kiss to be because of a middle-school party dare rather than have it with your best friend, whom you know and trust?”
“It was Lee Heeseung, for God’s sake!”
“And I’m Park Sunghoon!”
Still both laying on your backs, you turn your heads to look at each other. There’s something in his eyes you’ve never seen before that you can’t quite put your finger on. The person in front of you is one you’ve known for years now and yet the look in his eyes is of such unfamiliar intensity that it makes your stomach flip. You inhale sharply when his eyes drift down to your lips, and you can’t help but mirror his actions. The atmosphere has flipped like a light switch; it was playful just mere seconds ago, the sound of your usual banter filling up the room. All of a sudden, there’s something heavy dancing in the air around you, and it makes your heart skip a bit faster and your breath a bit shallower.
Your voice is barely above a whisper when you say his name.
“Yeah?” His eyes snap back up to yours, but you're still stuck on his lips. Have they always looked so kissable?
“Why did you do that? Why did you push those boys away from me?” you ask, even though you’ve asked this question a thousand times before. You want to hear his answer again.
“I’ve already told you. You deserved better than them.” Whenever you ask him about it, Sunghoon always stops here, and you never push. But there are unspoken words left hanging that you’re dying to hear.
“Who, then? Who’d be better than them?”
He's quiet for a second. “It’s a secret,” he whispers finally, a small smirk teasing his lips, and you roll your eyes at him. But then your eyes meet again and your breath hitches. You shift to your side so you can face him more fully, and he mirrors your actions.
It’s his turn to say your name. “Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“Have you kissed anyone since?” he asks, coming off shyer than he’d intended to.
You giggle and smack his shoulder lightly. “Why do you wanna know?”
He snickers too and, to your surprise, stops your fist from hitting him a second time, enveloping his larger hand around yours and laying it between the two of you on the bed. “Cause I should know that sorta thing. Also, if you did kiss someone since then, and I didn’t know about it, I'd be upset.”
“Why would you be mad?” you say, still giggling, trying to ignore the way your heartbeat quickens when he threads your fingers with his.
“Because you wouldn’t have told me!”
“Well…”
“No way, Y/N,” he practically shouts, already feeling betrayed, his free hand coming up to grip his heart in fake shock.
“Let me at least finish first,” you protest. He obliges, although he doesn't look very happy about it. “You know that summer 2 years ago I went away to camp?”
“Yeah, worst summer ever.”
“Well, I did sort of… get with someone, that summer,” you say, avoiding Sunghoon’s wide eyes as he gasps loudly.
“What? Who with? How come you didn't tell me?” he exclaims, letting go of your hand. He sits up on the bed and crosses his arms over his chest like an annoyed child.
“Because of this exactly.”
“What’s this?”
“Your reaction right now!” you say, sitting up as well, both of your knees grazing his. The simple touch sends a shiver down your spine that you can only hope he takes no notice of.
“Wouldn’t you be a bit upset if I told you I ‘got with’,” he air-quotes, “a random girl two years ago?”
“No? Especially not if it was two years ago?”
You both look just as confused as the other, obviously not on the same wavelength. He furrows his eyebrows and glares at you. “Well, I am.”
You throw your head back in laughter and place your hands on his knees, but when you come forward again, you overestimate the distance between the both of you and find yourself mere inches from his face. The laughter immediately dies in your throat, and you feel it go dry when your stunned reaction elicits a smirk from him. You don’t know how long you stare into his eyes, all you know is you snap out of it when his gaze drifts down to your lips once more. You’re closer now than you were before, and having him so close makes your mind spin with all the possible outcomes of such proximity. You lean back on the bed, pulling away your hands from his knees to hold yourself up on them.
“There’s no reason to,” you say, hoping that breaking the silence will dissipate some of the tension in the air. You keep going back and forth between familiar and dangerous and you don’t know how long you’ll be able to handle that atmosphere. “It’s not like anything grand happened. We made out a bit and held hands. We never spoke after that summer, otherwise you’d have known about it.”
Sunghoon lets out a low hum. His eyes are still trained on yours, and you wished he’d look away because you can’t seem to do it yourself. He still doesn’t say anything, so you speak up again. “You say that like you’ve never had girlfriends, by the way. Surely you’ve done more than just kissing.” Silence again, and you can’t decipher the look he’s giving you. “So, I don’t know what you’re so scared about, because it’s not like you have zero experience. I’m sure the girls at uni will love you, Hoon.”
He sighs and finally tears his eyes away from yours, and you’re not sure if you’re seeing things because of how dark and late it is or if there’s an actual blush creeping on his cheeks. “Sure, I’ve had a couple girlfriends, but you know they’ve never lasted long,” he says, looking down at his lap. “We made out… I guess I-” he gives you a quick glance, “I’ve touched their boobs and they’ve touched my… you know…”
You can’t help but giggle at how shy your friend is suddenly being. “Can’t even say the word ‘penis’, Hoon?,” you tease, and his eyes snap back up at yours.
“Of course I can. Penis! There.” You look at each other for a few seconds before bursting into laughter, Sunghoon hushing you so you don’t wake up his parents, but his hushes are louder than your laugh. After a couple minutes, you calm down and wipe your tears away, grateful for the break in the tension between you and Sunghoon.
“Anyway, yeah, I guess I don’t have that much experience. Which is why I brought it up in the first place.” And just as quickly as it’d left, the tension is back again.
You look around the room because the weight of Sunghoon’s gaze on your face is unbearable. You release a shaky breath when you feel his gentle hand on your knee, and your eyes drift to it, but you can’t get yourself to look him straight in the eyes.
“Don’t you think it’d be good to get experience before leaving for college, Y/N?” he asks, and you can tell he’s trying to sound confident, but his voice comes out breathier and shakier than he must intend it to.
“I don’t know… I don’t think it’s necessary,” you say, eyes still trained on his hand resting on your knee. He squeezes it a bit, making you finally look up at him. Is it just you, or did the room get hotter all of a sudden?
“Not everything you do has to be out of necessity, you know.”
The both of you stare at each other for a few moments. This shift in your relationship was bound to happen; you’d been feeling it more and more recently. You didn’t use to think twice about Sunghoon taking your hand in his, nor did you feel those stupid butterflies eating away at your stomach every time his gaze lingered for a second too long. You’d tried to reason with yourself that it was just teenage hormones doing their stupid job, and that you were doomed to feel some kind of attraction for your extremely handsome best friend at some point in your life, but that if you ignored it hard and long enough it would go away.
Well, now that Sunghoon’s lips are barely inches away from yours and your skin is on fire under his hand, it definitely isn’t going away.
“What would you do if I kissed you?” Sunghoon asks, eyes fluttering down to your lips. You think he’s looked at your lips more than the rest of your face in the past hour.
“I’d slap you,” you lie, gaze mirroring his.
“Would you really?” he says, and your hesitation makes him smirk slightly.
“No,” you breathe out, and it’s the answer he’s been waiting for, the answer he needs to finally press his soft lips against yours.
You don’t even have the time to savor the moment, though, because the warmth of his lips is gone as quickly as it came. He pulls back, a surprised look in his eyes, as if he can’t believe what he just did. The tension above you breaks and rains down on you like small pieces of confetti that settle comfortably on your head and shoulders. There’s a knot in your stomach but instead of twisting your insides in nervousness, it feels warm and makes you giddy for what’s to come next. Sunghoon’s surprised expression transforms into a grin at the sound of your laughter, and he can’t help but chuckle along with you.
You scooch closer to him, and his other hand comes to rest on your second knee. You can tell he’s not going to do much more, so you lean in bit by bit, and peck him softly on the lips. You both giggle again and you blame the fact that you want to feel his lips on yours again on the late hour of the night. You peck his lips once, twice more, giggling inbetween, but when you peck them a third time, he doesn’t let you pull away and keeps his lips on yours. The sudden added strength takes you aback, but it doesn’t take you long to yield to his touch and kiss him back.
Sunghoon moves his lips slowly against yours and it’s surprisingly easy to fall into his rhythm. You don’t have the most experience with kissing, but something about doing it with your best friend reassures you and your whole body relaxes as you focus on the feeling of his lips moving in cadence with yours. The knot in your stomach stays there and tightens when his hands ride up your thighs and settle on your hips, holding you snugly there. You’re only wearing shorts and his palms against your bare skin make you release a shaky breath in Sunghoon’s mouth. You pull back for a bit, surprised at your own reaction, but nothing has prepared you for the way your best friend looks at you.
His pupils are dilated, dark; his glossed-over eyes bore right into yours. Your breath was already shallow from the kiss, but it’s his gaze that renders you completely breathless. Sunghoon tightens his grip on your hips and leans in for more, but you put a hand on his chest to stop him, making his eyes snap back into focus.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I don’t know what took over me. Are you okay?” he asks, as short of breath as you are, but worry laced in his voice.
“No- Yes- I mean, yes, I’m fine, everything’s fine, I just-” you shake your head, trying to gather your thoughts. “I’m just…”
“Tell me. You can tell me,” he says, rubbing gentle circles into your hips with his thumb, and the unfamiliar yet intimate gesture makes it even harder to concentrate.
“We- we’re best friends, right?” you ask, voice trembling, You ask, even though you know the answer, just because you’re afraid the line the two of you have just crossed is already miles behind you, and you won’t be able to retrace your steps.
“Yeah, of course we are,” Sunghoon reassures, head tilting to the side in confusion.
“And best friends… Do they… Well, it’s normal for best friends to kiss, right?” you say, trying to calm the overpowering urge to kiss him again.
Sunghoon chuckles and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I don’t know about that, Y/N.”
“Oh,” you breathe.
Sunghoon quickly catches on to your hesitation. “But who cares about what best friends usually do and don’t do?” he says, holding your face between his hands to make you look up at him. “I liked kissing you, just now. I really, really liked it,” he admits, red dusting his cheeks. “Did you?”
You nod, too shy to put just how much you enjoyed kissing Sunghoon into words. “Do you want to do it again?” he asks and chuckles when you nod again, eyes already on his lips. This time, you don’t stop him when he leans in and let him press his lips to yours again. His words have reassured you and you sigh into his mouth, making him smile into the kiss.
His hands ride up a bit and settle on your waist, bringing you a bit closer to him, and you circle your arms around his neck. The shyness of the first kiss is completely gone, and you’re both gaining more and more confidence, letting everything go and focusing solely on where your bodies meet. He tilts his head, deepening the kiss, and you push your body onto his, a sudden need to feel him against you, to feel his strong arms encaging you.
You pull away at the same time to catch your breaths, smiling at each other when you see how lustful the other’s expression is. Sunghoon’s eyes have glossed over once more, and you’re sure yours have too. “C’mere,” he whispers, beckoning you to him. You climb onto his lap, one knee on each side of his hips. “Is this okay?” he asks, but you don’t answer, you just lean in and kiss him again, holding his face in your hand as his hands roam your back over the thin fabric of your t-shirt. Your kisses are curious, the both of you trying to figure out what feels best as you tilt your heads from one side to the other and let your inquisitive hands travel each other’s bodies. Yours find purchase in his hair, and you revel in the sighs that escape his lips whenever you pull and tug at the strands.
As the kiss gets hungrier and needier, his hands fall down to your lower back, and then to your ass. He just cups it for a while, but after a few moments, grabs it harder and brings you close to him, making your core rub against the hardness that had been building in his sweatpants for a while now. The friction is unexpected and you can’t help the loud moan leaving your lips at the feeling. It’s a feeling you know from your own hand in the privacy of your dark room, but Sunghoon making you feel that way is so foreign that it snaps you out of the daze you’re in.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, was that too much?” Sunghoon scrambles for words, but you’re already pulling away, and he doesn’t know what to do to keep you close.
You sit back on the bed, holding your knees close to your chest. You look at your best friend in front of you who’s looking at you with a worried expression. Something in you craves to reach a hand out to him, to feel his cheeks and jawline under your palms again, to find out if he’d shiver at your touch and if goosebumps would form on his skin. He’s been your best friend for eight years, and you’ve always thought you knew everything about him, the same way he’s supposed to know everything about you. But you realize in this moment that there are things you don’t yet know, melodies to be discovered, treasures to be unearthed. Your fingertips are burning to find them all.
The sound of your name resonates inside your mind and it takes you everything not to fall back on him again. You furrow your eyebrows, confused by all those things you’re feeling. What was it that just took over you, that lit your insides up so?
You straighten your back suddenly and take in your surroundings. Sunghoon’s room is still the same old room you’ve always known, the same blue walls, the same posters he only ever changes when he finds a new interest and lets go of an old one. The same pictures from when you were 10, 12, 15, recent ones now that you’re 18; the same figure skating trophies and medals on his shelves. You turn to look at your best friend. The same soft, round cheeks contrasted by a sharp jaw; the same almond eyes, round with worry at your sudden movement away from him; the same two moles you’ve always found so comforting, for some reason. You almost reach out to touch them, to give you some sense of balance, to reassure you that things aren’t changing as much as it feels like they are. But you’re scared electricity might fry your fingers if you touch him right now. You’re scared you won’t be able to take your fingers off of him, no matter how much it stings. His face is the same as always before, but there’s something else to it, something you could probably figure out if you spent more than three seconds thinking about it, but you’re not sure you want to figure it out.
“Is everything okay? Did- Did I do something wrong?” he asks, voice laced with concern.
Before he can put a reassuring hand on your knee, you get off of the bed, and hurriedly say, “No. I just- I think I should go home.” You look everywhere but at him.
He sits up at your words, concern turned into confusion. “It’s 3 a.m., Y/N, why do you want to go home all of a sudden? You’ve stayed over plenty of times before.”
“I know, I just…” you trail off, trying to come up with an excuse. “I’ve got cramps. I think my period’s coming,” you lie. It’s better than whatever truth is threatening to bubble up.
“Oh. Right.” He scooches a bit, sitting on the edge of his bed. “Is there anything- like- can I do anything?” He sighs, steadies himself. “You don’t have to go, is what I’m trying to say.”
A few months ago, when you had finally wrapped your head around the fact that your best friend was an attractive man and that he made you feel things friends weren’t supposed to make you feel, you’d told yourself it was all just a phase that would pass soon. But feelings this strong surely cannot go away that easily.
You take a deep breath in and tear your eyes away from him. “I think I should go home,” you repeat. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Hoon.”
You turn around and start walking away, but Sunghoon is quick on his feet and stops you from going out the door. “Do you actually have cramps? Or are you just scared that our friendship might change?” He sounds out of breath, like asking this question is taking him all of his energy.
You avert his gaze and try to push past him, but he’s much stronger than you. Puberty sure played its trick on him. You sigh and look down at your feet. “I’m tired, Hoon, let’s talk about it tomorrow.”
But if there is one thing your best friend is, it’s stubborn. “I don’t wanna talk about it tomorrow. I wanna talk about it now. Did it feel nice?” he asks, and his resolute tone of voice makes you look up at him.
“I- I mean-”
“Y/N,” he starts, wrapping his arms around you and leaning in a bit, his familiar scent filling your nostrils. You have to close your eyes. “Answer me. Did it feel good?”
“Yes,” you answer without thinking.
“Is that why you’re scared?”
“Yes.” Your eyes flutter open when you feel his fingers graze your cheek. He leans in again and traps your kiss in a much softer and intimate kiss that makes your head spin and your thoughts cloud. Before you can get carried away, you pull away again, and ignore how beautiful he looks when his eyes stay closed for a couple of seconds longer. He only opens them once you tell him once again you should go home, that you need some time to think.
“Let me at least walk you there. It’s dark,” he pleads, his grip on your waist still tight.
“Hoon, I live right next door, I’ll be fine.” You let him kiss you once more and he makes you promise to call or text him tomorrow.
When you leave, Sunghoon plops back down on his bed, arm resting on his forehead as he plays back the events of the night. Had he done something wrong? Something that made you want to get as far away from him as quickly as possible? He’d tried to be gentle and to make sure you were okay with everything, but he couldn’t help but get carried away when he heard those sweet sighs of yours. He thought he was going to combust when he heard you moan, and he wanted to hear it over and over again, but you’d jumped from him like he’d told you he had killed someone.
He hopes you were telling the truth when you said you were just scared about your friendship changing. He hadn’t wanted to push and get you to stay; he knew it was weird, seeing each other in a different light all at once. He wasn’t completely oblivious; he’d felt that same shift in your relationship those past few months, just like you had, although you’d never spoken about it to each other. He knew he could never go back to seeing you as just a friend when he’d jerked off one day and you were all he could think of. He kept imagining the sounds you’d make and the way your hands would feel on him, and he’d gotten so close to getting that today, but he must’ve fucked something up and now his chances were ruined. He curses himself for letting you slip through his fingers just when he thought he finally had you.
You don’t get a wink of sleep that night. Your mind is reeling with everything that happened in Sunghoon’s room. Your fingers unconsciously keep coming up to touch your lips and feel the ghost of his touch there. Your skin turns hot at the simple thought of how perfect his lips had felt against yours, and you toss and turn in your bed as you consider what might’ve been, had you stayed with Sunghoon.
But it’s all happening too quickly, and even though you’ve been curious in more ways than one about your best friend for the past few months, you hadn’t expected to kiss him and to enjoy it so much on a random summer night. Your thoughts only seem to calm down and your eyes finally close just as the sun starts to rise.
--
The next day, Sunghoon wakes up in the early hours of the afternoon and checks his phone right away. A couple of notifications, but nothing from you. A text from Jake in their group chat with Jay asking to hang out at Sunghoon’s pool, to which he replies that they can come whenever. He taps a quick one out in the shower, memories of your scent and your lips on his getting him to finish quicker than he’d like to admit. He’s in the middle of a late breakfast when Jake and Jay spawn at his door, swimming trunks already on. Still nothing from you.
It doesn’t take Jay and Jake long to figure out that something is up with their best friend. It’s not like he does much usually, but today especially, he makes no effort to entertain them. He laughs at their jokes, but it feels like he laughs because he hears other people laughing rather than because he genuinely finds them funny. He barely even reacts when the inflatable pool ball hits him right in the face.
His friends don’t say anything until they’re all seated at a table by the pool, sipping on some ice-cold Coke. The air is still warm but the sun is low in the sky, hidden behind the house. Sunghoon is still lost in his thoughts, unblinking eyes fixed on a random point in the distance. Jay and Jake exchange a look before the former breaks the silence.
“Is everything alright, Hoon? You look out of it today.”
Jay’s voice brings him back to the here and now, and his eyes jump back and forth between his two friends who are looking at him expectantly. “Huh? Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just tired. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” he says, leaving some of the truth out, but his friends know him better than he gives them credit for.
“Are you sure? I feel like there’s something you’re not telling us. You usually act like a little bitch when you’re tired, you don’t get all…,” Jake shakes his hand in front of his face, “distant like that.”
Sunghoon bites his lip, debating whether he should tell his friends about you or not. No matter how stupid they may be, they also know both of you quite well, so they might prove not completely useless, he thinks.
“Y/N and I kissed last night.”
It’s almost comical, how Jay and Jake bring their head forward in astonishment, how wide their mouth gets, how their eyes look like they might pop out of their sockets, and how they say “You what?!” at the same time. On a normal day, Sunghoon would've laughed.
“We kissed,” Sunghoon repeats, eyes drifting down to the ground in front of him as he rubs his neck in embarrassment.
“Fucking finally!” Jay exclaims.
“Told you it was gonna happen. No way you two were going to stay just besties forever,” Jake teases, punching Sunghoon in the arm. “How was it?”
Sunghoon sighs and leans back in his chair, letting his head hang back. “Really fucking amazing,” he chuckles. His friends holler for him, snickering like 12-year old boys who just saw a hot girl walk past.
“God, I saw this coming from miles away. I don’t know why you kept on insisting nothing was gonna happen between you two,” Jake says, beaming.
“I really didn’t think anything would… I just… Started seeing her differently recently, I guess.” Sunghoon shrugs, sheepishly smiling to himself.
“So, what happened? Did you guys just kiss or…?” Jay asks, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Jake giggles at the insinuation of sex but has a curious glint in his eyes when he waits for Sunghoon’s answer.
“Yeah, um, we just kissed cause she- she sort of ran away?” Sunghoon admits, wincing at the recollection.
“You what?!” Chaeyong’s voice rings out in the food court of the mall where you’re currently sitting, halfway through your strawberry milkshake.
“Keep it down, would you?!” you scold her, smiling apologetically to the people staring at you and your friend.
“If it was so good, why the hell did you run away, Y/N?”
“I just- I don’t know… Freaked out, I guess…” you mumble, cowering under the harsh look she gives you.
“Well, have you talked since?” You don’t reply, just guiltily avoid her gaze. “Y/N!”
“I know, I know! I just… don’t know what to do. ‘Hey, nice making out with you last night, bit weird since we’ve been best friends since we were 11, but that’s fine, right?’ Ugh! That’s so stupid,” you complain, flopping back in your chair.
“That’s exactly what you should say. Going MIA on him will just make things weirder. Plus you’ve never gone more than 24 hours without speaking so one of you will eventually cave in. It should be you,” she says, looking at you with a raised eyebrow as she takes a sip from her milkshake.
You scoff when she gives you a ‘you know I’m right’ look. “I’ll think about it on the way home and text him. There.”
And you do think about it on the way home; but you don’t get the opportunity to send the text, because as soon as you get off the bus at the stop right across from your house, you see Sunghoon sitting on the bench of your porch, looking around nervously and rubbing his hands on his denim shorts. You chuckle to yourself; who knew he got so distressed from not speaking to you for a day?
He stands up when he sees you approaching and raises his hand in a quick wave. “Hi, Hoon,” you greet, and you can feel his whole body relax when you hug him. So, you don’t hate him, he thinks. You sit down on the bench together. “Sorry I didn’t text you. I didn’t know what to say after… last night,” you admit, hugging your knees to your chest as you sit facing him.
“Yeah, I figured,” he chuckles, smiling shyly at you. “I was scared you’d never want to see me again.”
You look at him with wide eyes, mildly offended, and punch his arm. “How could you think that?!”
“Well, you did sort of run away from me last night,” he says, lightly punching your arm in return.
You tut in defeat. “I did, didn’t I?”
“Yeah. I’m just glad you didn’t walk past me straight into your house just now.”
You chuckle and rest your head on top of your knees. “That would’ve been a bit much, even for me.”
Sunghoon lets out a puff of air through his nose in response, and then the two of you sit in silence. You’re contemplating what to do next when your friend pulls you from your thoughts. “Should we, um…” He shuts his eyes tightly in reflection for a second before opening them again and looking straight at you. “Should we just pretend like last night didn’t happen? Would that make you feel more comfortable?”
His words take you aback and your eyes widen a bit; you hadn’t even thought pretending nothing happened last night was an option, because you didn’t think you’d ever be able to actually get it out of your head. Even now, if you stare at Sunghoon for too long, your gaze will naturally drift downwards or you’ll get a flashback of his large hands around your waist. But apparently, if he can offer to pretend like the previous night wasn’t a thing, then it must not have been such a huge deal to him. You quickly try to hide your disappointment and nod at your friend. “Right. Yeah. Sure.”
Silence makes its way between you two again. It makes the late afternoon breeze a bit chillier and the physical distance between you and Sunghoon feel much bigger than it actually is. Wanting it to go away quickly, you ask, “Do you wanna watch a movie, then?”
Sunghoon’s never looked so relieved about watching a movie, and he immediately accepts your offer. You get some popcorn ready while he searches for a movie to watch. He clicks on a horror movie that looks like it’s got a cliché storyline and awful acting, but you’re happy for any sort of distraction when Sunghoon is sitting so close to you.
You and Sunghoon always sit close-by when you watch something together, knees and shoulders brushing against each other. Tonight isn’t any different, except that your skin burns everywhere it touches his. You can smell the faint scent of chlorine in his hair, and it’s so intoxicating you want to bury your face there and breathe it in.
You’re thirty minutes into the movie and still nothing’s happened when Sunghoon puts his arm around you, letting his hand hang over your shoulder. The sudden warm contact makes you take a sharp intake of breath as memories of the previous night come flooding once again. You don’t know what you were expecting, but Sunghoon simply rests his hand there and doesn’t do anything more for another thirty minutes, except for squeezing your shoulder when there’s a small jumpscare, making you chuckle at him. This isn’t much more than what you’re used to with him, but knowing your friend, he must be thinking the ball is in your court. So you scooch a bit closer into his side and rest your head on his shoulder, the scent of his skin even stronger now that your nose is so close to his neck. You feel his chest raise and relax as he sighs deeply and tightens his hold around your shoulders. His small reactions to you spur you on and you decide to wrap an arm around his waist and you feel him flinch oh-so-slightly at your touch in such a sensitive spot. He starts to rub circles into your shoulder and rests his head on top of yours, and your whole body relaxes into his. This is so much more than what you’re used to with him; and yet, you so readily melt under his touch.
You can barely focus on the movie because of how close Sunghoon is. When a particularly scary ghost jumps on the screen, you flinch and hide your face in his neck, and he giggles at your reaction, hand coming up to stroke your hair comfortingly. It only takes you a few seconds to realize what position you’re in, and you release a shaky breath as you slowly lift your head towards Sunghoon, only to find him already looking at you, seemingly having had that same realization. When his eyes drift down to your lips, you know you’re done for.
You call out his name, and he’s already answered ‘Yes?’ before you’ve had time to finish uttering the second syllable. “I don’t think I want to pretend last night never happened,” you admit, holding his waist a bit tighter.
“Good. Me neither,” he breathes out before leaning down and trapping your lips in his, the kiss releasing all your pent-up frustration of the day. The world seems to melt away with his lips on yours, the movie already long forgotten. Sunghoon pulls you into his lap and you slide your palms up from his waist, against his chest and to his shoulders before wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing your body closer to his. His hands are sitting on your hips, fingers lightly pressing into them and your lower back. Now that you both seem to know what you want, it’s so easy, just falling into this kiss.
His tongue darts out to lick your bottom lip and you gladly open your mouth for him, letting his tongue explore it. You haven’t kissed someone like this in ages, maybe ever, but Sunghoon takes the lead and effortlessly gets you to follow his rhythm. When a flick of his tongue against yours feels particularly nice, you arch your back and press your chest into his, making him smirk into the kiss. This time, when he brings your hips down onto his, letting you feel his erection against your clothed core, the feeling doesn’t make you want to run away; instead, you want to feel it again and again.
You fall into a nice pace of rubbing yourself against him, eliciting hushed moans and loud breaths from the both of you. You can’t concentrate on kissing him and grinding down on him at the same time, so you drop your head down to bury your face in his neck, leaving a few pecks there but mostly moaning against his skin, enjoying how your hot breaths make him shiver.
You can’t keep a whine from escaping your lips when he bucks his hip into yours and his tip brushes directly against your covered clit, instantly bringing a hand up to your mouth. “Fuck, Y/N,” he breathes. “I know we gotta keep quiet ‘cause of your parents but the sounds you’re making are so fucking pretty. I wanna hear them over and over again.” His words make you whimper against his neck and you feel your slick starting to pool in your panties.
“H-hoon. This feels so good,” you moan, breathing warmly against the shell of his ear.
“I know, right? Feels so good,” he chuckles, hands grabbing at your ass to bring you harder down onto him. His actions are about to elicit another moan from you when, all of a sudden, a loud jumpscare in the movie makes you jump away from the boy underneath you and yelp in fear, which in turn makes him scream in surprise. You look at each other, panting and eyes open wide, hands clutching at your hearts, until you burst into laughter. The fun moment is short-lived, however, as your mom rushes down the stairs not ten seconds later, frantically asking if everything is alright.
You sit up straight at the sight of your mother and clear your throat. You’re thankful for the dark of the room which hides your and Sunghoon’s swollen lips and flushed faces from her view. “Sorry, mom, we were just watching a scary movie. We’re fine.” She sleepily nods and walks back up the stairs, and when she’s back in her room, Sunghoon and you exchange a look and erupt into another fit of smaller, quieter giggles.
That night, after Sunghoon’s gone home, the both of you get yourselves off in your own beds, the strong memory of each other’s lips and hands bringing you both to your releases. Without even realizing it, you moan out Sunghoon’s name as your orgasm hits. The window from your room doesn’t face his; but still, your heart is beating so loudly that you’re afraid the sound might carry from your open window to his. You get up and close it.
--
Now that you and Sunghoon both know you want to kiss each other, you do it everywhere: in his pool, his back pressed against the wall; on the sunchairs when you were supposed to be drying off; on your beds in the middle of the night, none of your parents or siblings suspicious of anything; in front of your house, because even though he was supposed to just walk you home, he couldn’t keep himself from tasting you one last time; in the backseat of his car after an evening with your friends and he drove you two home.
You spend a good two weeks of just kissing before your body starts to crave something more. At some point, Sunghoon’s hands resting nicely on your waist or sometimes, if he’s feeling bold, grabbing at your ass, start to not be enough anymore. You knew you wouldn’t be satisfied with just kisses and sweet touches when one day, his hands slowly but surely slid up your naked belly before grabbing onto your bikini-clad breast, lighting your whole body up on fire. He’d slipped his hand underneath your swimming top and rolled your nipple between two fingers and you had felt his dick twitch under your core when you let out a loud moan at the new yet so pleasurable feeling.
You know what it is that you want, but it makes you feel dirty. Your fingers have made you finish a hundred times before, but wanting Sunghoon to make you feel that way is a whole other story. Is that even what he wants? Would he be weirded out if you asked him about it? Is there even the sliver of a chance that maybe, just maybe, he has those same thoughts about you, and wants you to make him feel good as much as he wants to make you feel good?
If his grunts and the way he ruts into you when your make-out sessions get particularly steamy are any indication, then the answer to those questions would respectively be yes, no, and yes.
You’re lying on a sunbed one afternoon, letting the sun dry off your wet skin from the pool, when you finally muster the courage to tell Sunghoon about your wishes. After all, he is your best friend, and you know you can talk to him about anything. Even when that ‘anything’ involves his fingers inside of you and his dick in your mouth.
“Sunghoon?” you call out, turning your head to look at your best friend. He’s bathing in the sunlight without a care in the world. His skin has tanned a bit since summer started three weeks ago and his muscles are even more defined after all that swimming and working out he’s been doing. You want to reach out a hand, to feel the taut skin of his abs and chest under your palms, and to maybe then slide your hand down until you feel his hard-on underneath his swimming trunks. Your chairs aren’t far apart and you could do it from where you are, but you’d rather ask him first.
“Yeah?” he answers without turning towards you.
You take a deep breath in before you start talking again. “You know how you said it could be good for us to get… experience before going to college… And how we’ve been kissing these past couple weeks…”
“Yeah, I know,” he chuckles.
“Well… people do more than just kissing, right?” you ask, voice slightly shaky. This seems to pique his interest as he turns to look at you.
“Yeah?”
You hope you’re not just imagining the enthusiastic tone in his voice. “I think… I think we should try that too, don’t you think?” you ask, eyes not leaving his as he sits up on his chair and turns his knees towards you, fully facing you now.
“Yeah, I agree. I completely agree.” He stares at you for a few moments as if in disbelief. “Do you want to- Should we- Let’s go up to my room, yeah?” he offers, standing up and reaching his hand out to you. You gladly take it.
You and Sunghoon are a giggling mess as you practically run up the stairs, unable to get to his room quick enough. As soon as the door is closed behind you, you wrap your arms around each other, your lips finding his immediately as he walks you back to his bed. When you feel the back of your knees hit it, you detach yourself from him and lay on it, elbows holding you up as you look up at him expectantly.
“Fuck,” he whispers, leaning in to hover over you. He traps your lips in a short but sweet kiss before pulling back and murmuring against your lips, “Have I ever told you how pretty you are, Y/N?”
You beam at his words but decide to tease anyway. “You always go on and on about how pretty you are, but never about me.”
He giggles and pecks your lips again. “Well, I’m telling you now. You’re gorgeous.” You kiss him to hide your flustered face, pulling him so close to you he’s practically laying on top of you. Your hands are a bit more curious than usual, your kisses hungrier, the both of you anticipating what’s to come.
You grind against each other, the feeling of his erection against your barely covered core enough to send your mind into a frenzy. You forget everything around you when you feel Sunghoon pull back in the slightest, far enough so that he can look at your face and gauge your reactions but not too much that you still feel his hot breath on your lips. One of his hands is holding the back of your head as the other travels downwards, stopping for a second on your breast to massage it lightly before continuing its journey. It ever-so-slightly brushes against your core, making you buck your hips up into his touch, but his hand is already gone leaving you whining and pouting and him chuckling at your cute reaction. “You want it that bad, huh?” he teases.
You scoff, not wanting to let your friend know the effect he has on you. You press your palm against his clothed erection and he hisses at the unexpected contact. “So do you, Hoon.”
When he presses his lips to yours again, you both smile into the kiss. You cup his jaw and tangle your fingers through his hair, and his hand slips from under your head and joins his other hand on your thigh, grabbing at both of them, fingers slightly digging in your skin. He’s so, so close to where you want him most, and he seems to have noticed your growing impatience by the way you squirm underneath him. Seeing you so needy for him only makes him needier for you; he has more experience than you, so you probably expect him to take the lead, but the truth is, he has no idea what the fuck he’s doing.
“Y/N?” he murmurs, face buried in your neck as he leaves a trail of wet kisses there.
“Yeah?”
“What do you want me to do?”
The question takes you a bit by surprise. You pull away to look at your friend. His eyes are completely glossed-over, and yours are probably the same. “Oh. I don’t know. I just… want you to touch me, I guess,” you say, voice a bit quiet.
“I don’t know how to do that,” he admits sheepishly. He kisses your neck and cheeks before pecking your lips. “Could you- could you show me? How you do it? And I can show you how I do it?”
You take a second to take his words in. Was he suggesting that you touch yourself in front of him, and that he do the same?
This was like a dream come true.
“Yeah, sure.”
Sunghoon giggles in response, and you can’t help but crack a smile too, even though the idea of getting yourself off in front of your friend, no matter how appealing, is still a bit nerve-wracking. “You first,” he says, a mischievous glint in his eyes, and you roll your eyes at him.
You sit back against the headboard of the bed and slip a hand underneath your swim bottom, the other hand coming up to cover your eyes in an attempt to escape Sunghoon’s heavy, lustful gaze. “None of that. I wanna see you,” he says, pulling your hand away from your eyes and resting it on a pillow next to you. “And if you keep these on, I won’t be able to see anything,” he says, looking down at your bikini top.
Before you can protest, he comes to sit on his knees in front of you, kissing your neck and letting his hands roam your back. “I wanna see all of you.” It’s so easy, untying your string bikini, he almost thinks you wore it on purpose for him to take it off. You avoid his gaze as he takes your top off of you, leaving you half-naked in front of him. “So pretty,” he whispers, and you can’t help but look at him, slick pooling between your legs from the fascination he’s looking at your breasts with. He trails kisses down your neck until he reaches them, taking a nipple in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it, then looks up to see your reaction. You never knew your nipples were this sensitive, and you can’t help but arch your back at his touch and moan loudly, hand flying up to tug at his soft hair. He releases your nipple with a pop and moves sideways to pay the same attention to the other one, but Sunghoon is impatient and doesn’t waste too much time on it; he knows he can come back to your boobs later anyway. Right now, you’ve got a hand between your legs, and that’s what he’s dying to see.
“Can I take this off, too?” he asks, looking up at you as his fingers hook on the sides of your swimming bottoms, waiting for you to nod. His eyes don’t leave your glistening core as he pulls the thin fabric down your legs, discarding it somewhere on the floor of his room. He lays on his belly and kisses the inside of your knee as he holds your thighs in his large hands, still transfixed by your pussy when he says, “Show me how you do it, please.”
You both take a sharp breath in when you start moving two fingers in gentle circles over your clit, already wet from making out with Sunghoon. Your fingers are nimble and know exactly what to do after years of doing this, but the pulse in your core is even stronger now that your best friend is watching your movements this intently. He looks like he’s scared to blink in case he might miss something. You can’t take your eyes off of his face; you’ve never seen him so fascinated by something, so eager to learn. It makes you want to put on a show for him.
A surge of confidence hits you out of nowhere as you slide your digits down your folds, gathering some slick before sliding them back up to your clit and rubbing it a bit faster, a bit harder, your moans growing louder and higher in pitch. With your free hand, you tug at the base of Sunghoon’s hair and make him look up at you. You release his hair and bring your pointer finger up to your mouth, sucking on it and swirling your tongue around it, and Sunghoon’s mind is taken back to that day a couple weeks ago when you had sucked on those lollipops. Oh, how things have changed since then. Not that he’s complaining. “Fuck, that’s hot,” he breathes out, eyes zeroed in on your lips and mouth slightly agape.
You smirk at his reaction, stomach on fire with the feeling of having this kind of power on him. When you’ve wet your finger enough, you bring it down to your slit, circling around your hole before entering it, releasing a loud moan for good measure. Sunghoon is mesmerized by the quickening with which your finger slips in and out of you, the fingers on your clit never relenting. He doesn’t even realize he’s released one of your thighs to palm himself over his shorts until you notice it yourself and tut in disapproval.
“Come and help me, Hoon,” you say, and the boy snaps out of his daze at the sound of his nickname. He nods slowly, changing his position so that he’s laying between your legs, head dangerously close to your core. You slip your other finger out of your hole and he takes that as a sign to replace it with his own. One hand still gripping your thigh, he imitates your previous actions as he gets his pointer finger wet with his saliva before pressing it between your folds, right underneath your clit where your fingers are still rubbing circles, sliding it down towards your slit, and finally pushing it in.
“So warm… So wet, too,” he whispers in wonder, making you cover your eyes with your forearm out of shyness.
“Oh my God,” you moan, arching your back and letting your head drop to the side on the pillow. Sunghoon’s finger is much thicker and longer than your own, and it stretches you out and hits a deep spot inside you you never could, no matter how much you tried.
“Like this?” he asks, eyes curious as they bounce back and forth between your face and your entrance sucking his finger in.
“Yes, yes, just like that, you can also- oh- you can also curve it upwards a bit- fuck, yeah, just like that, Hoon, you’re doing so well,” you say, the praises just flying out of your mouth.
This seems to instill some confidence in him, as he cocks an eyebrow at you and speeds up his actions. “Yeah? My finger making you feel good, Y/N?”
“Oh, shut up,” you bite back, but immediately let out a long whine when he easily inserts a second finger in your soaking pussy. He curves them inside you just like you told him to, and the feeling of his fingers filling you up and your own quick ones on your clit are creating a familiar knot in your stomach that is so close to breaking. That is, until Sunghoon pulls your wrist away from your clit.
“Y/N… Can I?” he asks, and you’re not sure what he’s planning, but nod anyway. He wastes no time before pressing his tongue flat down on the sensitive bud, and you actually feel like your soul might leave your body. Fingers knuckle-deep inside you, he licks and sucks at your clit, and the warmth of his tongue against your folds is what makes you tumble over the edge, tightly gripping his hair and bucking your hips into his mouth.
“Oh my God… Oh my God, Hoon, please, don’t stop, please,” you beg, voice getting higher and whinier as you cum all over his tongue. He continues eating you out until it gets too much and you have to tell him to stop. He hikes his body up yours, pecking you sweetly on the lips when he reaches them.
“Your turn,” you announce and hook your legs over his hips to straddle him. You’re about to lean in for a kiss when you notice how lovingly he’s looking at you: his eyes are soft and a small smile is playing on his lips. It takes you aback, but you’d be lying if you said butterflies didn’t spread in your stomach. “W-why are you looking at me like that?”
His grin gets a bit wider. “Did I make you feel good?”
“Y-yeah…,” you admit, averting your gaze from him.
“I’m glad. You taste good, by the way. Sweet.” You want to kiss the devilish smirk off of his face.
You scoff at your friend, glaring a bit. “Whatever. Sit up,” you order, but it just makes him smirk more.
“Yes, ma’am.”
You look up at him to check for confirmation, and when he nods, you hook your fingers under his swimming trunks, taking them off of him along with his boxers underneath. His already fully-hard cock springs free and slaps against his stomach, and you curse yourself for your reaction that will surely just inflate his ego, as if it wasn’t already massive. Your mouth hangs open, eyes zeroing in on his length, flushed red from lack of attention and what you can only guess is precum leaking at the tip. It's straight from a porno.
“Like what you see?” Sunghoon teases, making you look up at him, and you can only stupidly nod. You take the position he was in earlier, laying your head on his thigh and caressing the other, letting it ride up to rub his inner thigh and the tiniest bit over his cock, making his smirk vanish as he takes a shaky breath in.
“Show me how you do it,” you say, echoing his words from earlier. He gulps, finally realizing that he was going to have to masturbate in front of your curious eyes just as you had. He spits on his open palm and spreads the precum over his length with his thumb, lubing himself up before gripping the base and starting to move his hand up and down. You watch as his head falls back against the pillow when his palm grazes over his tip and his movements pick up some speed.
You rub his palms over his thighs, itching to get closer to his cock and make him feel as good as he had done to you earlier. Tentatively, you reach out to grab his balls in your hands, massaging them softly, feeling satisfied when a loud moan leaves his throat. “Oh, f-fuck, that feels good, Y/N,” he breathes out, voice much higher than you’re used to. If he thought that felt good, then nothing could’ve prepared him for the feeling of your soft and warm tongue kitty-licking his balls, then taking turns sucking each one into your mouth and releasing them with a pop. “Where the fuck did you learn how to do that?” he asks, involuntarily bucking his hips into your face.
You can’t help but giggle, and Sunghoon thinks he might come from the sweet sound contrasted with your lewd actions alone. “I read a lot of fanfiction,” you explain, and he doesn’t question it. If Wattpad taught you how to suck dick, then so be it.
You wrap your hand around his and tell him to keep going so you can get an idea of what pace and movements he likes, and you graze your fingernails over his abs and chest with your other hand, chuckling at how sensitive he is when you lightly pinch his nipples. Sunghoon takes his hand off of himself, laying both of his hands palms up next to him on the bed, so you decide to literally take things into your own hands. Trying to recreate what he did before, you spit into your palm and wrap your fingers around his tip, bringing your hand down in a swirly motion to the base of his shaft. You do that a few times, asking, “Like that?” to get confirmation from Sunghoon.
“Just like that, baby,” he says, not even taking notice of the pet name; but you do, and your face immediately flushes, surprised at how much you like it.
“Baby?” you repeat, but he’s too lost in his pleasure and just hums in response. His reaction eggs you on, and you lick a long stripe from his base to his tip, swirling your tongue around it and humming at the bitter but not unpleasant taste of precum there. When another moan escapes his throat, you take his tip in your mouth, at first just shallowly thrusting your head, but then trying to take more and more of him.
You’re so focused on what you’re doing that you don’t even realize how quickly he’s panting and how his grunts start to get whinier until he’s moaning out your name. “A-ah, Y/N, feels so good, ‘m gonna cum, fuck-”
He goes silent as he shoots his release down your throat, eyebrows deeply furrowed and mouth open wide in pleasure. There’s so much of it and you can’t swallow it all, so you pull your head back, catching your breath, and a hot string of cum hits your chin and your throat. Sunghoon takes a look at you and the sight of you with some of his cum makes his dick twitch before he plops back down on the bed. You giggle as you take tissues from the bedside table (cause of course he’s got tissues next to his bed) and wipe away his seed, then lie down next to him, brushing away the hair that’s sticking to his forehead with sweat and peppering his face with soft kisses.
He opens his eyes and smiles, turning his head to look at you before engulfing you in a bear hug, sweaty bodies sticking together but neither of you minding it. “That was so good, Y/N. What the fuck,” he sighs, pecking your forehead.
You hum, nuzzling your nose into his neck. “I know, right? Who knew you could use your mouth for other things than saying stupid shit,” you tease.
He pulls back and gives you a look that tries to be stern, but you know he’s joking. “Do I need to remind you again, young lady?”
You giggle and peck his lips, forcing him out of character as his dimples appear on his cheeks. “Later, definitely.”
And after that day, he makes sure to remind you time and time again of how good his mouth feels on you. You should’ve seen it coming with how amazing of a kisser he was; but truly, there was nothing like cumming on your friend’s tongue.
--
You’re relieved to find that not much has changed, after all; you and Sunghoon still play around in the pool, watch stupid movies and hang out with your friends like always. Sure, there are stray hands here and there, or looks that last a little too long and mean a little too much, but if anything, it just makes your friendship more playful and exciting.
You’re both open with what you like and don’t like, so it doesn’t take either of you to figure out exactly how to make the other come undone embarrassingly quickly. (The shortest amount of time it took him was 2:38 seconds - yes, he timed it - and he hasn’t let you live it down since.) You like it when he presses his large hand down onto your lower tummy while he eats you out, or when he sits you between his legs and whispers all sorts of things as his fingers work their magic inside you and on your clit. He likes it when you get down on your knees in front of him and look up at him as you suck him dry, or when you sit in his lap and kiss his neck and play with his hair while he plays video games. And don’t even get him started on when you palmed him over his sweatpants while you watched a movie with Chaeyong, Jay and Jake, making sure that the movements under the blanket went unnoticed by them. He wanted to punish you after they left, he really did, but you took him in your mouth right there in the living room and gave him an orgasm that had his thighs shaking for five minutes afterwards. You were pretty proud of yourself for that one.
You also find out that he hates it when you tease and edge him, which only makes you do it more; the only problem is that, if you do that, he’ll make you ride his thigh and won’t help you at all. His proud smirk and snide praises combined with the feeling of his thick thigh underneath your core were more than enough to get you to your end, though.
And truly, nothing has changed, especially not Sunghoon’s special talent in pushing boys away from you.
“What do you mean, Lee Heeseung is coming back?” he heatedly asks, slamming his glass of lemonade down on the outdoor table so hard you’re scared it might break.
“It’s the summer, of course he’s coming back. He just stayed behind for a bit to enjoy a few weeks of the city without college, and now he’s coming back here,” Jake explains, shrugging.
“Do you know when he’ll be here?” you ask, far too much excitement in your voice to Sunghoon’s taste.
“Just in a couple days.”
Sunghoon has smoke coming out of his ears when he sees how much you perk up at the news of your old crush being back in town for summer. He likes the boy, but he hates that you like him. And since Heeseung is friends with Jay, Jake, and by association Sunghoon, begrudgingly so, he’ll definitely see lots of him in the upcoming months. And if Sunghoon sees Heeseung, then you’ll see Heeseung, too. And that, Sunghoon doesn’t like.
You notice something is off with him that afternoon because of how uncharacteristically quiet he is. Sunghoon, ever the loud introvert, is always arguing for no reason and laughing louder than everybody around him. So when he merely chuckles at his friends’ numerous displays of stupidity in the pool and doesn’t even say anything in protest to you getting on Jake’s shoulders to play against Chaeyoung and Jay, you know something is definitely up. You also have a good idea of what that something might be, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t find it endearing.
You stay behind when your friends leave in the early evening. Without a word, you and Sunghoon pack away the inflatable toys in the pool cabin and clean up the table, putting the dirty glasses in the sink. You do the dishes while he prepares sandwiches for the two of you, which he insisted on doing after he heard your stomach grumbling. You watch the latest Kurtis Conner video as you eat and can’t help but notice that he doesn’t even chuckle at any of the jokes or skits when he’d usually be clutching his stomach in laughter.
When you’re done eating, you take a resolute breath and pause the video, but Sunghoon doesn’t even notice, only snapping out of his daze when you call out his name.
“Huh?” When his eyes find you, he almost looks surprised to see you, as if he’d forgotten you were there.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” you ask, slightly frowning. “You look so out of it today.”
“Huh? I’m fine, nothing’s wrong,” he says dismissively and presses play, but you quickly pause the video again.
“I’m your best friend, Sunghoon, I know when something’s the matter and I know when you’re lying. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but don’t pretend everything’s fine when we both know that’s not true.”
He peers at you for a moment, cursing you for knowing him so well. He crosses his arm and averts his gaze, pouting like an angry child. “I hate it when you’re right.”
You giggle and make your way around the counter to him, standing inbetween his legs and wrapping your arms around his neck to make him look up at you. His hands come naturally up to your waist. “I just…” he starts, then immediately stops himself with a sigh., “You’ve always had a crush on Heeseung. But these are our last couple months together, and I don’t want somebody else taking up your attention…”
He buries his face between your breasts to hide his blush, and you can’t help but giggle again. “Stop laughing at me!” he protests, but the muffled sound of his voice just makes you laugh more. You stroke his hair and press a gentle kiss at the top of his head.
“Sure, I’m happy Heeseung’s coming back. But there’s no one I’d rather spend my summer with than you, Sunghoon, you should know that.” He leans back to look up at you with puppy eyes and a small pout. You cup his face, admiring how cute he looks like this, and smile softly down at him.
“Really?”
“Really,” you answer, and he leans in for a kiss.
It’s a soft one. It’s a patient kiss, neither of you urging to get somewhere else, to do something more. It reminds you of that kiss in his room a few weeks ago, when you were still curious and discovering each other. From then on, your kisses had become more feverish, more eager, more playful. But now, you’re taking your time. For now at least, neither of you is going anywhere. So your lips melt together slowly, and when you take breaks to breathe, you look each other in the eyes and smile before leaning back in.
It’s when you sigh against his lips, eyes still closed as you pull away, that it hits him. I could do this forever, he thinks.
I could sit here with my arms around her waist and her lips against mine and the smell of chlorine and the sound of her laugh forever and I’d never get tired of it, he thinks, but immediately afterwards, he realizes he won’t get to do this forever. Summer will end, you’ll both head off to college, and you’ll only get to see each other every few months until another summer comes. And who knows what might happen until then?
You might meet someone and realize Sunghoon isn’t all that; hell, he might meet someone, but he highly doubts anyone could even come close to the way you make him feel.
“Hello? Earth to Sunghoon?” you quietly joke, looking down at him with an affectionate look in your eyes. You press the pads of your fingers to his two moles before replacing your fingers with your lips, giving each one a quick peck. “You were up on the moon for a minute there.”
Sunghoon hums softly, smiling as he lets himself melt under your touch. “Sorry. It’s just really hot, isn’t it?” he says, a stupid excuse he uses as a blanket to cover his feelings. There is some sweat beading at his hairline, which helps make his lie more believable, but you don’t need to know it’s not just because of the summer heat.
Slowly, your smile turns mischievous, and Sunghoon can tell you have an idea in mind. “It is pretty hot… Wait here.”
He watches as you fill a tall glass with ice from the dispenser in the fridge and pop an ice cube in your mouth, a devilish smile on your face, and laughs when that smile is replaced with a frown as the coldness hits you and you spit it back into the glass, laughing along with him. “What the hell are you doing?” he asks between giggles.
“I got the idea a few days ago when we were having popsicles…,” you say looking down at the glass between your hands, slightly embarrassed. “You kissed me and your mouth was really cold but it felt nice.” Sunghoon hums, egging you to go on. You lift the glass up to his cheeks, applying just a bit of pressure to the soft skin. “I thought this could be refreshing.”
You take the ice cube back in your mouth, sucking on it but not letting it melt completely before pressing your lips against Sunghoon’s and opening your mouth just a bit so he could feel the cold of the ice cube. You feel his smile into the kiss as the ice cube swirls between your tongues, sending shivers down your spine.
“Very refreshing indeed,” he murmurs when the ice has completely melted. He gets up and takes the glass in one of his hands, leaning down to your level and says “C’mon” with the same mischievous smile as you on his face.
You two hurry up the stairs, and when you get to his room, he hands you the glass before throwing himself on his back, laying on his back with his hands behind his head. “Show me what you had in mind.”
You straddle his hips and take an ice cube from the glass, rubbing it over his lips before pushing it inside his mouth, the cold making him hiss. You quickly counteract that by pressing your lips to his, the contrast of your warm tongue and the freezing ice turning him on more than he would’ve thought.
When the ice has melted, you take another piece and brush it along his jaw, down his Adam’s apple and around his nipples. The cold temperature makes him squirm but he doesn’t shy away from it, even closing his eyes to focus solely on the feeling. While you play with the ice cube, you also leave warm kisses all over his skin, reveling in its slightly salty taste from the thin layer of sweat. You let the ice cube melt between his abs and watch him wriggle as he sucks in a sharp breath, then grab another one, starting off where the previous one stopped. You circle his navel while your fingers play with the hem of his swimming trunks. He pulls them down himself and you chuckle at his eagerness. “I should’ve known you liked the cold, with all those years of ice skating you did,” you tease.
He’s almost fully hard, and it only takes a few kisses and trailing the ice cube down his inner thighs to have his dick fully erect. He’d only been letting out small sighs and hisses until now, but when you grab another ice cube and circle it around his sensitive tip, he throws his head back into the pillows and moans loudly. You push your luck and drag the ice cube down his shaft, his thighs snapping together when it reaches his balls. You put it in your mouth and let it melt so that your tongue is still cold when you swirl it around his tip, already tasting precum there. But before you can take him further in your mouth, he calls out your name.
“Wait. I don’t wanna cum just yet. My turn.”
He shakes his shoulders in excitement as you switch positions, you taking your t-shirt and bikini top off and laying on your back and him sitting down with one knee on each side of your thighs, an ice cube in his hand and a giddy smile on his face.
He brushes it over your lips before pushing it just a bit into your mouth, holding onto it with two fingers while you suck on it, gazes locked in each other. Just as you did earlier, he trails it down your throat and your chest until they reach your nipples, marveling at the thin wet trail it leaves in its wake. He licks this trail as he circles one of your nipples with the ice cube, and you don’t know if you should focus on his warm tongue or on the cold ice cube. Once it’s melted, he takes another one and circles your other nipple with it, his mouth coming to wrap around the now cold one. Your hands fly up to grab at his hair, your back arching into his touch as you moan and pant loudly.
He sucks and licks at your nipples until you’re calling out his name, begging for more. As nice as his mouth or an ice cube around your nipples feel, your pussy is throbbing and desperate for attention. “Sunghoon… Please,” you whine.
“Please what?” he teases, looking up from your breasts with a smirk.
You whine again, knowing he knows full well what you want. “Please…”
He trails the ice cube down your stomach, circling your navel a few times where it melts before slipping two cold fingers underneath your bikini bottoms. “Is this what you want, baby?,” he asks as he rubs his fingers between his folds, and you whine at the feeling of having him so close to your hole and to your clit but not quite there either. He smirks when you nod frantically but whine at the loss of his fingers against you as he takes your bottoms off and reaches for another ice cube.
You release a loud moan and arch your back off the bed when the ice cube touches your clit. “Fuck, Hoon!”
He rubs the ice cube up and down your folds, your heat melting it much faster than your skin. He takes another one and brings it to your entrance this time, circling around it before pushing the ice cube in and staring with wonder as it melts quickly. He holds your hips down so you stop bucking them up, whimpering at the amazing feeling of the ice against you. He replaces the ice cube with his fingers inside of you and his tongue on your clit, sucking expertly at the sensitive bud and lapping at your juices. And while it feels good - God, does it feel good - and you let Sunghoon know just how nice it feels with your moans, whispers of his names and the way you hold onto his hair, you’re craving something more.
It’s something you’ve been wanting for the past few days, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. No matter how nice Sunghoon’s fingers and mouth felt, they didn’t make you feel close to him enough. You wanted to be so close to him you didn’t know where you ended and where he started; you wanted to feel him.
You pull him up by the face, asking him to come here and getting lost in his lips as soon as they reach your level. God, Sunghoon’s kisses. You could drown in them. But still, that craving, that need for more. And now that his body is pressed up against yours and you can feel his erection against your thigh, so close to your core, you think you know what it is that you want. “Hmm, please…”
“You keep asking me for something, but you don’t tell me what it is.”
“You. I want you, Hoon, please,” you beg, murmuring against his lips as you wrap your legs around his hips and bring him even closer, his cock now pressing against your cunt.
“M-me?,” he asks, leaning back just a bit, but you pull him back in right away, resting his forehead against yours.
“Yes, please. I need to feel you inside me.”
Your words are enough to get a moan out of Sunghoon. “Fuck, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this,” he pants, planting kisses all over your face and neck. Usually, you’d giggle at the ticklish sensation, but right now, you’re so drunk on pleasure, it just makes your breath even shallower and your core wetter.
“How long?”
“God. Since the second time we kissed probably,” he replies, reaching for a condom in the drawer of his bedside table. You think back to that moment six weeks ago (how has it been six weeks already?, you think), after you and Sunghoon had made up and made out on his couch in front of a horror movie. He’d wanted you for that long? And he’d waited for you to say something since then?
“Today’s your lucky day, then,” you tease in an attempt to alleviate the need for him that takes over your bones, but his gaze when he looks back at you ruins any effort. If anything, it just makes you need him even more. You feel like you might explode if you don’t have him right now.
You watch as he clumsily wraps the condom around his member, clearly never having done this before, but you wouldn’t be of any help, so you let him figure it out on his own. You let your head fall back as he rubs his tip up and down your folds, gathering your slick on his dick before aligning himself at your entrance and giving you a long, deep kiss.
“Are you sure about this?” he asks, forehead on yours.
“Yeah. Are you?”
“Yeah, I am. But I’m also scared.”
“Scared of what, Hoon?” you ask, opening your eyes to look at him. You caress his cheek and cup his face in your hands, watching softly as he lets his head rest on your palm.
“I’m scared of hurting you. I heard it hurts the first time. And I’m scared…” he closes his eyes and frowns a bit. “I’m scared it’ll feel too good. That I’ll always want it. You.”
You take a small moment to think, your thumb brushing over his cheek in what you hope is a comforting manner. “You won’t hurt me, Hoon. It only hurts if you’re not ready… And I’m plenty ready. I know you’ll take it slow.” You smile softly when he nods, turning his head to kiss your palm. But if sex is as good as you’ve heard it is, you’re also scared that it might be the best thing you’ve ever experienced and that you’ll never get enough. You and Sunghoon have been meeting up almost everyday this summer and it has more often than not ended up with one of you between the other’s legs; you could never get bored of the things he made you feel or of knowing you were making him feel those exact same things. If you couldn’t live without his fingers, how could you live without his dick?
How could you live without him?
You tried to snap out of those thoughts, reassuring yourself that even before all of this you couldn’t imagine yourself living without Sunghoon, and that there was no reason this should change anything. “And don’t be scared of that, silly,” you say, making him smile. “I’ll always be here, Sunghoon. I’ll always want you, too.”
“Fuck, okay,” he whispers, kissing your lips once before pulling himself up on his palms, hovering over you. “Tell me if you need me to stop, yeah?” he asks and waits for you to nod before finally pushing in.
You instantly moan when you feel his tip inside you, and Sunghoon stops, frantically asking if you’re okay. It takes some convincing to get him to push himself further in. “It feels so good, Hoon. Please keep going.”
You tell him to not stop until he’s fully inside you, and he obeys, even though he wants to stop when he sees your frown and your sharp intakes of breath. When he’s buried to a hilt, he can’t help but collapse on top of you, burying his face in your neck and wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. “Y/N,” he drawls out. “Feels so fucking good. So tight,” he murmurs against your neck.
“Mmh. Give me a minute, baby.” Your hands caress up and down the expanse of his back and you feel him relax on top of you. As you adjust around his length, the stretch starts to feel more and more pleasurable, until pleasure is the only thing you feel. “Hoon?”
“Yeah?” he says, kissing and nibbling softly at your neck and earlobe.
“You can move, now.”
Sunghoon doesn’t need to be told twice and ever-so-slowly slides out of you, leaving only the tip in before he slides back in. His thrusts are slow but deep, and it’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more. He’s barely started but you’re both already whimpering messes, holding onto each other tightly as pleasure like neither of you has felt before takes over your entire bodies.
As you both get more comfortable, his pace picks up just a tiny bit and you tentatively raise your legs higher so that they’re hooked around the back of his knees instead of laying on the bed. The new angle only adds to the intense pleasure, but you don’t even realize you’re crying until Sunghoon stops mid-thrust, wiping your tears with his thumb and worryingly asking if you’re okay and if it hurts and if he should stop. You open your eyes and smile, instantly calming his nerves. You bring his head closer to yours and kiss him like you’d stop breathing if you didn’t. “It feels so fucking good, Hoon. So, so good.”
He sighs out of relief and resumes his actions, heart swelling with pride that he’s making you feel so good, you’re crying. He’s always hated seeing you cry or hurt in general; but knowing what kind of tears these are, he thinks you look so pretty with tears streaming down your face. His hands grip your thighs a bit tighter as he quickens his pace, already addicted to the feeling of your warm walls taking him in so well.
He slips out a few times but you’re always quick to guide him back inside you. He lifts his body up a bit to get a deeper angle, hoping it’ll get him to stop slipping out, and he’s blown away by the sight underneath him. He thinks you’ve never looked so gorgeous as you do now, legs spread wide for him, cheeks flushed, brows furrowed and mouth agape for him. He kisses your tears, the salty taste bringing a smile to his lips. “So perfect,” he whispers against your mouth. “You look so beautiful.”
Sunghoon takes your legs and wraps them higher around his hips, the new angle hitting a spot inside you that’s making you see stars and has you moaning his name like it’s the only thing you know how to say. You feel that familiar tension build up inside your stomach much faster and much stronger than it usually does.
“Fuck, Sunghoon, I’m gonna cum,” you warn, and a harsher thrust inside you is what pushes you over the edge, the sensation crashing into you and making your thighs shake. An orgasm has never hit you this hard before.
You’re clenching around him like crazy and Sunghoon gasps as you milk him dry, his own orgasm hitting him all at once. He shoots his release inside the condom and stills inside you, breath completely taken away by the sudden, overwhelming sensation.
He lays on top of you for a moment as you both catch your breaths, trying to make sense of how something can feel this good without killing you instantly. He apologizes when his pulling out makes you wince and kisses the top of your head. He rolls onto his back, pulling you with him so that you’re now almost lying on top of him, head against his chest as his arms wrap themselves around you. You leave kisses all over his chest and neck and his hands caress your back.
“That was amazing.”
“I know, right?” he responds immediately, his enthusiasm making you laugh.
“Thanks, Hoon,” you say timidly, voice muffled against his skin.
“For what?”
“For making me feel this good.”
He chuckles. “No need to thank me, pretty. If anything, I should thank you for letting me make you feel good, and on top of that making me feel good.”
You hum at his words and you both stay there for a bit longer, enjoying each other’s warmth. Something blooms inside your chest, and you don’t know whether to let it grow or to squash it down. It feels nice, almost too nice, and you’re scared it might get ripped away from you and it won’t feel so nice then.
Friendship, sex, love. In those weeks spent with Sunghoon, those previously clear lines have blurred to a point they were all one big messy ball of feelings and not three distinct things you could tell apart. Has sex turned your friendship with Sunghoon into something romantic? Or is that just an illusion, and being so intimate with your best friend has messed up your once platonic vision of him? But was your vision of him ever platonic?
Haven't the two of you always been teased about liking each other for a reason? After all, you and Sunghoon didn't grow up together, and he’s never felt like a brother to you. He has always been your male friend; you’ve always been aware that he was your friend who was also a boy. When you'd moved in the house next to his, you hadn’t instantly clicked; it took a while for the ice skating prodigy to warm up to you, but his parents had warmly welcomed yours into the neighborhood and quickly became friends, so it was only a matter of time before he’d open up to the idea of you being around. Constantly.
You’d walk to and from school together, do homework together, go on family trips together, cheer each other on at your respective competitions. After his ice skating lessons, when his coach let him have the whole place to himself for a bit more practice, he’d tie your ice skates for you and drag you onto the ice rink, holding you by the waist or shoulders as he skated backwards in front of you, but also laughing at you when you inevitably fell. He’d tease you for getting second place at the science fair or for getting your arguments torn apart during Model United Nations, but the way he’d be a little nicer to you or share his food more often that week wouldn’t escape you.
Being a handsome young ice skater, Sunghoon had developed quite the loyal following of boys and girls alike who would come to see him at his competitions. He thrived off of the attention, but no matter how much he enjoyed his fans’ admiration, you were always the one he’d skate to after having won first place, hugging you tightly over the barrier separating the ice from the bleachers. Especially during your younger teen years, Sunghoon wasn’t one for skinship or PDA, so it always meant that much more to you that even after his most important wins, you were the first thing on his mind. It never failed to make your stomach flip, and all the death stares from his fans in the world couldn’t have changed a thing.
You were already close, but you became practically inseparable after Sunghoon’s injury. During the competition that would have gotten him a place at the Youth Winter Olympics had he won, his nerves got the best of him and he didn’t land his triple axel, hurting his ankle in the process. Ten years of dedication and hard work, ruined in mere seconds. To say that it destroyed him would be an understatement.
You were the one to bring him back up. You listened to him when he needed to vent, held him when he needed a shoulder to cry on, cheered him up when he needed to smile. He didn’t even need to tell you what he needed, you seemed to just know. You reminded him that he had a lot more value than his medals and trophies and that he didn’t need them to be complete. His family and friends tried their best to make him feel better, but their words never reached him quite like yours did.
Slowly but surely, his confidence came back. He’d lost his fans, but he’d gained a friend he knew would always be there for him. His dimples would appear more often, his laugh would resonate louder. His injury had made the two of you grow closer, creating a bond that would only strengthen over time.
And yet there were moments when being friends wasn’t enough. When calling him your best friend didn’t feel right. You had other friends, friends you were close to; sure, maybe not as close as to Sunghoon, but close nonetheless. And you didn’t feel that way around them.
Their laugh didn’t make your heart skip a beat. You didn’t want to bury your face in their necks and breathe in their scent when they hugged you. You didn’t want to know every single detail of their day. And you surely didn’t feel a pang of jealousy in your chest when they danced with another girl at your school ball.
You also didn’t crave their lips on yours every single day since it had happened for the first time and didn’t want to see what they sounded or looked like while getting the life sucked out of them through their dick.
Everybody told you it was obvious you were ‘more than friends.’ Why did romantic love have to be ‘more’ than platonic love? Why were there levels to it? You didn’t like the idea of taking your relationship with Sunghoon ‘one step further’; that wasn’t the way it felt to you. Rather, it felt like having to change everything you knew and create something new. Something where you could see him laugh and tell him about your day, but where you could also kiss him and graze his skin with your fingertips. Something that only you could share with him and only he could share with you. But you were afraid the friendship would fall apart if things didn't work out. So, instead of taking the risk of changing everything, you made sure things would stay the same. You’d tell the butterflies raging in your stomach to settle down and you wouldn’t let yourself fall into his touch in case it’d be like falling from the highest mountain.
That is, until he kissed you. Until this moment, right now, lying in his arms, ear right over his heart so you can hear it beat for you. You look up at him. His eyes are closed and a soft smile rests on his lips. He looks so peaceful. He always looks pleased when you’ve just been together, but right now, he seems to be in such a serene state, it almost makes you laugh.
Now that you’ve given in to your feelings, you’ve realized just how strong they were this whole time. Nothing has ever felt better than being in Sunghoon’s arms, than being able to see him at his most vulnerable state and to give all of you to him. All those things you didn’t know about him just six weeks ago, you know them by heart now. You’re sure there’s other things to find out, and you’ll make sure you will.
But summer won’t last forever.
A wave of sadness slaps you right in the face, bringing you back to reality. There’ll come a time where you and Sunghoon won’t be able to lounge around all day or lazily make-out at your will. You’ll go your own ways and not see each other for months at a time. The thought of that is unbearable, and you feel like looking at Sunghoon for a second longer might rip your heart into a million pieces.
When you sit up, tearing yourself away from his grip, he immediately opens his eyes, asking what’s wrong.
“Just need to go to the bathroom. I heard you can get STIs from not peeing after sex,” you half-lie. He nods and falls back into the bed.
You rush to the toilet, needing to get far away from Sunghoon as quickly as possible. Even your pee smells different - guess that’s what having a dick inside you will do to you. You wash your hands and look in the mirror: your skin is darker in some spots, surely Sunghoon’s work. So not only did he mess with your thoughts, he also had to make your body all weird, too?
You splash your face with cold water, hoping it will bring you back to your senses. You and Sunghoon have been best friends for years. There’s no point in changing all of that now, is there? You’ll be leaving soon enough, anyway. Why ruin a perfectly fine friendship for a summer fling?
Those are your thoughts as you head back to Sunghoon’s bedroom, ready to tell him that this whole thing was a mistake and you should just pretend it never happened. But your resolve crumbles at your feet as soon as you step inside the room.
Sunghoon’s got a couple of snacks ready as he browses through Netflix in search of an appropriate movie. “How about Twilight?” he says when he feels the bed dip under your weight next to him. He kisses your forehead and pulls you down on the bed with him so that you’re lying back against his chest.
Screw it, you think. Whatever this is, it’s much more than a summer fling.
--
The rest of the summer goes by in a flash. No, you don’t try to make Sunghoon jealous by flirting with Heeseung; if the mention of the latter’s name was enough to get your friend mad, then purposefully twirling your hair or batting your eyelashes at the older boy just might make Sunghoon white-boy-punch a hole into a wall. And it’s not like Heeseung would try coming onto you, either, with how clingy Sunghoon gets when he’s around, always an arm around your waist and a glare that could kill Heeseung.
Sunghoon gradually opens up to Heeseung being around, even though it takes you reminding him almost daily that he’s the one whose arms you wanna end up in over anybody’s. After a couple weeks, Sunghoon stops looking like he's on the brink of starting a fight every time Heeseung so much as talks to you or hands you a glass of lemonade, and finally relaxes around him.
You spend countless sleepless nights with Sunghoon. You’ve probably memorized every single one of his moles by now, and you’ve made sure to kiss all of them. He holds you against him like he might lose you at any given moment. The only nights you don’t fall asleep in each other’s embrace are when either one of you is sleeping over at your friend’s house. On those nights, sleep always takes hours before washing over you, the lack of warmth keeping you awake.
Your friends and you spend entire days at the lake or by Sunghoon’s pool, not a care in the world. You rest your head on Sunghoon’s shoulder as you watch the fireworks Jake and Jay bought go off. Sunghoon grills your marshmallows for you, blowing on them so they cool down before handing you the stick. You try to ignore how the night air gets slightly chillier and how the sun sets slightly earlier, but by the last days of August, it becomes too noticeable. When September rolls around, you’re sure there’s a small crack in your heart.
You know Sunghoon feels the end of summer too. His kisses are deeper and his lips linger over yours a second longer. He frowns when he kisses you and hugs you, like he’s trying to remember what it feels like. His usual playful demeanor when you’re in bed together is gone, instead seemingly hellbent on making you feel good and almost begging you to say his name. As if you could say any other name. As if you could say anything else.
Neither of you mention your departure until the night before you leave. After spending the evening with your friends, you lie together in bed, the side of your face resting against his chest so you can feel his heart against your ear. He’s tracing patterns with his fingertips on your back, and it takes you a while to figure out he’s spelling his name over and over again, as if to etch it in your skin. When, once in a while, he takes his hand off of you to reach for his phone, you can still feel his fingers caressing you, ghostlike against your skin.
The air around you feels heavy, pressing the both of you down into the mattress. You wish the bed would eat you alive so you could stay there, warm against each other, as long as you like. You know you can’t leave without talking first, but the words won’t come to you. Instead, they float around the bed, weighing your heart down into your stomach.
“So,” you start. You're unsure what to say, but you know this conversation has to happen, one way or another. In the end, you settle on, “Excited to leave?”
Sunghoon scoffs lightly, his motions on your back coming to a stop. “Not really, no. It’s not like I’m leaving that far, and half of our school is going to our uni.”
“Maybe, but there’ll be tons of other people. Tons of other girls, too,” you add after a short pause.
“Don’t do this, Y/N, please.”
You sit up at his words. He covers his eyes with his forearm and takes a deep breath in, sensing an incoming argument. “Do what?”
“This. Getting mad at me when I haven’t done anything.”
“I’m not mad at you,” you protest, frowning down at him.
“No? Then what’s this?” he says, smoothing down the lines between your eyebrows and on your forehead with the pad of a finger.
“Whatever.” You nudge your head away from his touch. It burns. “It’s not like I’m wrong, anyway. You’re gonna have a bunch of girls at your feet, and you’ll know what to do with them, right? Now that you’re not a virgin?” you question, avoiding his gaze.
“Y/N…” he sighs, shutting his eyes tighter as if in pain.
“What? This was the whole reason why, right? Get experience with me so you could fuck girls better, no?”
“Y/N!” he says, raising his voice enough to let you know he’s upset but not enough to scare you. He sits up, looking at you with hurt and disbelief in his eyes. “What’s this all of a sudden? It’s not like I forced you into this! We agreed on it together!”
“So you agree? That this summer was just about getting experience and now you’ll use it on other girls and pretend like we,” you gesture between the two of you, “never happened?”
“What do you mean ‘agree’? I never said any of this! Don’t put words into my mouth!”
He watches as you get up from the bed, arms crossed and pacing his room. He calls out to you a few times, but you don’t stop to look at him until he speaks your name with a sternness you’ve never heard before from him. “What?” you snap.
“I don’t get why you’re acting like this out of nowhere! We both knew summer was gonna end at some point, and why we were doing this! Why are you blaming me now?”
“Because… because…” you sigh, scrambling for an excuse. Why were you doing this? The thought of Sunghoon doing what he did to you to another girl, making her feel as good as he had made you feel, kissing her like he had kissed you, made you sick. It made you see red, it made you want to make him wear a shirt with your face on it so everybody knew he was yours.
Sunghoon gets up and stands close in front of you, too close. You close your eyes. If you see his moles, you might reach out to touch them and let yourself fall even more. If you fall, you’ll need to get up, but his scent makes your knees weak.
His hands find your face, holding a little too gently, you think. Your small ones wrap around his wrists and grip them, a little too harshly, he thinks.
You take a step back and finally look into his eyes. There’s hope in them; hope you’ll say what he wants, what he needs to hear. That you want him like he wants you. That you wish summer wasn’t over. That you’ll keep him in your heart until you can see him again. So, when what you say next is none of the above, he feels his heart sink down to his feet, leaving a murky puddle there.
“I can’t do this.”
You rush out of the room, practically running home. You fight your tears back until you slam your bedroom behind you, pathetically sinking to the ground as you let out a loud sob. You don't have the energy to get up, and cry into your hoodie's sleeve right there on the floor.
When you’ve calmed down a bit, you get up and lay in your bed, hiding your whole body underneath the covers. Maybe this is for the best, you think. If you end it like this, you won’t have the knowledge of whether he’ll wait to have you back or he’ll move on like nothing happened. That way, you can do whatever you want, not caring about what he’s up to.
But even now, your hands subconsciously reach out towards a person that’s not there and your feet hang over the edge of your bed as though to get up and run to him anytime. You curl in on yourself to stop your body from aching for him. It doesn’t work very well.
Sunghoon stays where you left him for a few minutes, too stunned to move. Should he run after you? Should he let you cool off for a bit and talk to you in the morning? Would you be mad at him if he didn’t try to see you now or would the mere sight of him just make you angrier? He plops down on his bed as these questions run through his mind, butting into each other and making everything more confusing.
He thinks back on everything that led to this, and his mind settles on that day a few days after graduation where his thoughts had dropped to the lowest pits of hell. If only you hadn’t brought those two damned lollipops.
--
The next morning, Sunghoon wakes up as if somebody had slapped him awake. He doesn’t bother to brush his teeth or eat anything before running over to your house, almost forgetting to put shoes on. He finds you in your room, packing the last of your things into an already full suitcase. He stands at your door, panting as his hands rest on his knees.
“You haven’t left yet. Thank God.”
“God, Hoon. It’s not that far between your house and mine. How are you so out of breath,” you say, glancing at him from the corner of your eye.
He walks to you and kneels in front of you, taking you in his arms before you can say anything. “Talk to me, please. Don’t leave like this. I’d never forgive myself if you left and you were mad at me, Y/N.”
You thought you’d cried so much last night that there was not a single drop of water left in your body, but you thought wrong. Your eyes immediately well up at his words, and he leans back when he hears a soft sniffle escaping you. Only then does he notice how puffy your eyes from all your crying.
“No, no… Have you been crying? I’m so sorry, pretty, please don’t cry,” he pouts, pulling you back into his embrace. It hasn’t even been half a day, but you missed his warmth so much, it only makes you cry harder.
After sobbing against his chest, possibly staining his shirt in the process, you pull away and in your light-headed, dehydrated state, spill your heart out. “It’s so stupid,” you sob. “We’re not gonna see each other for months and I’m gonna miss you so much and I don’t want you to be with other girls. I want you all to myself and I don’t want to be your friend that you fucked for a summer just so you could get experience, it was a stupid idea in the first place, if you wanted to kiss me, you should’ve just kissed me. But you didn’t just kiss me and now I’m scared that this all meant nothing to you but everything to me and that I don’t want to be friends anymore but you do and I’m mad that it took me all summer to say this even though I’ve known it for years but I didn’t want to admit it to myself but also you didn’t say anything and I’m mad about that too. Because there’s no way you don’t feel like I do but maybe you actually don’t and-”
Whatever you were about to say dies out against Sunghoon’s lips as he presses his lips to yours, interrupting your rambling. He pulls away, looking at you with a huge, stupid grin. He’s so stupid, you think. I love him so much.
“Fucking hell, Y/N. I’ve been waiting for you to say this so bad, you have no idea.”
You punch his chest, frowning at him. Those stupid tears won’t stop. Everything is so stupid. “Then why didn’t you say it first?”
“Because I didn’t know how to. You know I’m bad with words. And I was scared it’d make things weird.”
“I don’t want things to be weird,” you pout.
“I don’t want things to be weird, either. I want things to be nice and happy.”
You giggle. “That’s so stupid.”
“Right? It’s so stupid,” he repeats, kissing you again.
“Your breath smells,” you complain when he pulls away.
“And you have tears on your lips. Tastes salty,” he teases.
“Yeah, thanks to who?”
“Sorry.” He smiles and kisses you again. He holds you against him for a while, enjoying this last moment together. As long as he can see a smile on your face before you leave, he’ll be fine.
“I’m gonna miss you so much too, Y/N. And forget about those non-existent girls. There’s no one I’d rather be with than you.”
“How do you know? You haven’t met any of them yet,” you say, voice muffled against his t-shirt.
“I’ve met other girls before. None of them compare to you,” he says, and you immediately gag at how cliché it sounds. “What?! It’s true,” he giggles.
“You’re not gonna go and date a random guy, are you?”
“Of course not. None of them compare to you,” you say, lowering your voice to imitate his.
He helps you finish packing, and when you’re done, you lay together on your bed, not saying much because not much needs to be said. Your parents struggle to tear you away from each other and from your bed when it’s time to leave. He helps your dad put your baggage in the trunk of his car, telling you to not lift a finger so you watch him go to and from the car, leaving a kiss on your forehead every time he walks past you. You notice with a smile that he doesn’t carry much at once, making him have to go back-and-forth quite often.
After saying goodbye to your family, your dad waits in the car as you and Sunghoon hang back awkwardly, kicking small pebbles on the pavement. He takes your hand in his, making you look up at him, then takes the other hand, then hugs you close to him.
“I’m gonna miss you,” you say, as if that wasn’t obvious. You’re trying hard to fight tears from falling again, but it’s like there’s an ocean behind your eyes, water somehow never running out.
“I already miss you,” he says, and that’s enough to get you to sob again, which makes him start crying too. You’re crying, he’s crying, your mom is crying from the porch as she watches the two of you, it’s a mess.
You force yourself away from him, cupping his face in your hands. “We’ll see each other soon, okay? And college will be fun. You won’t even have time to miss me. But make time to think about me, yeah? And text me.”
“I will. I’ll think about you all the time, I already do,” he says.
“Okay,” you whisper and hug him one last time, very briefly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. You’re about to walk away but he doesn’t let go of your hand and pulls on your arm to bring you back to him.
Pressing his forehead against yours, he whispers, “I love you,” and you sob.
“I love you, too.”
This time, when you walk away, he lets you go. He watches as you get into the passenger’s seat and as the car drives away, as it takes you away from him. You watch him stand there in the rearview mirror, until his silhouette becomes smaller, and smaller, and smaller, until you can’t see him at all anymore.
--
Summer went and fall came as they do every year. Dead leaves are falling but it’s a new start for you. It’s a new town and you don’t know anybody, but you click instantly with your roommate and make new friends throughout your first week there. You realize everybody’s in the same boat, and they’re all eager to meet people and are curious about college life. You love your classes but complain about them nonetheless. You eat more ramen than you’d like to admit and turn up hungover at a 9 am class on a Thursday. You pull all-nighters at the library and develop a caffeine dependency. You’re a college student.
You and Sunghoon were very dramatic when you left, you soon realize. You call almost everyday. He’s not there with you and you miss him but at least you don’t have to pretend you’re not stupidly in love with him anymore. Because it’s stupid, being in love, it really is. You wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Your first semester passes by almost too quickly, and before you know it, you’re on the drive home, already one eighth of the way through university. You’re excited to go home, but Sunghoon’s finals last a week longer so you wait around for him. When you complain about it, Chaeyoung tells you to get a grip. “You haven’t seen him in three months, I’m sure you can handle another week.”
And you can, but barely. You were about to explode but then he’s back and you’re in his arms and his hair is still so soft, his scent is still so comforting and his moles are still there. You kiss them both before you finally press your lips to his, and it makes you feel so alive, you could die right then and there.
You lie on his bed and talk for hours as if you didn’t keep in touch the whole time and it’s like you never left. It’s like summer never ended and you’ve just been lying in his bed the whole time, college just one big fever dream.
But his skin doesn’t smell like chlorine anymore, and he’s not in his swimming trunks. It’s fall, almost winter, and you’re kissing Park Sunghoon. You realize you can kiss him whatever the season and you find comfort in that. It was a big day (you cried a lot when you saw him) and you’re tired so you think you’ll kiss for a bit and that’ll be all but then he whispers “I missed you so much” against your neck and a fire lights inside your stomach. Oh, how it burns. You think it might consume you whole, but you don’t dislike that idea.
In a flash, you’re on top of him, his shirt is off, your shirt is off, but it’s not enough so you take your pants off too and Sunghoon is confused as to why you’re going so fast, but follows you anyway. “What’s going on?” he asks when you’re done with the taking off of your clothes and have moved on to kissing and biting at his neck like it’s your first meal in ages, because it is.
“I missed you too,” you simply answer, and he smirks as he nods slowly, now understanding your eagerness.
“Missed me that much, huh?” he teases, letting his head fall back against the pillow so you have better access to his neck.
“Shut up. Kiss me,” you order, and he doesn’t need to be told twice. Your kisses are ravenous and desperate, very fitting for two horny people in love who haven’t seen each other in months. But the pulse in your core makes you too impatient to stay anywhere for too long, and really, it’s not your fault if you’re grinding down onto Sunghoon’s clothed erection, it’s just that he smells too good and you missed him too much.
Sunghoon laughs at you for being so impatient to hide just how impatient he is. His giggles keep him from moaning loudly enough to wake the whole house, and you laugh as you tell him to stop laughing.
“I’m serious. I missed you so much. Need you so bad,” you say as you get rid of your underwear and quickly do the same for his. He gasps when he feels you take his dick in your hand and brush its tip between your folds, both out of pleasure and out of surprise.
“Shouldn’t I get you ready? Stretch you out a bit?” he asks, his hands roaming up and down your back as he sits up on the bed so that you’re straddling his lap, and you shake your head no. You’re probably already embarrassingly wet from your short makeout session, anyway.
“I don’t care if it hurts,” you say, lining his tip with your entrance. “Need to feel you.”
You sink down on his cock, the both of you releasing loud moans at the long-awaited feeling. He lets you adjust to his size for a minute, but as soon as you move your hips just a bit, signaling to him that you’re ready for more, it’s over for you. He wanted to be patient and take his time, he really did, but you feel so warm around him and your small whimpers are so pretty that his resolve of letting you take the lead is thrown out the window. He pounds into you at a rapid pace that has you biting his shoulder to keep yourself from screaming.
You had imagined your first time back with Sunghoon so many times before. It usually involved a nice playlist in the background, fairy lights and candles lighting the room, hours of foreplay and sensual lovemaking, with a nice bath afterwards. Sometimes, when you were particularly needy for him, you imagined something closer to what was actually happening, where you’d rip each other’s clothes as soon as you got to the bedroom and fucked like animals (a bit much, admittedly, but you really missed him).
What you definitely hadn’t expected, however, was that you’d both cum in less than five minutes. What could you do, though, when he was hitting your g-spot over and over again, his length stretching you perfectly as he whispered in your ear how much he’d missed you and how good you felt? And what could he do when you took him in so well, clinging onto him as you told him how much you’d missed him and how good he felt?
You finish at the same time, hole clenching around him and milking him dry. He doesn’t pull out for a while, letting you collapse onto him as you both catch your breaths, just like you had that first time. “That was a bit quick,” he pants, and you can’t help but laugh.
You pull back to look at his face. It’s so pretty and stupid. What a stupid face that you love so much. Do you love it because it’s stupid or is it stupid because you love it? You think that that’s a stupid question, and you kiss the mole on his nose, then the mole on his cheek, right next to his nose.
“We have all night to go slower.”
“We have all Christmas break,” he corrects.
We have the rest of our lives, you think, and you think that might be a bit much, but you say it anyway. Sunghoon hums and says, “yes, we do,” and you think maybe it’s not all that stupid.
Maybe it’s the greatest thing that’s ever been.
© asahicore on Tumblr, 2023. please do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works. support your creators by reblogging and leaving feedback!
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THIS SO GOOD! GIMME 14 OF THEM RIGHT NOW!
i'll love you forever
pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader
summary: you were sunghoon's first everything; first friend, first love, and first heartbreak. after years of quietly crushing on you, he was finally ready to confess. so ready to confess, that he told his parents the two of you were already dating! it was an easy enough lie to keep up and he kept it up for months, what could possibly go wrong? he thought. little did he know, you would have a falling out and stop talking for months.. and then, you'd both get invited to spend a week at home with his parents, who still believe you're his girlfriend.
genre: smut, fluff, angst, college au, childhood best friends to lovers, fake dating
warnings: minors dni, fake dating is pretty mild (sorry), she kinda doesn’t rate him at the start, these two kind of exist in a vacuum a little bit idk i had a self-enforced word count to stick to and broke it.. (im within the 10% allowance !), sunghoon in a vest, sunghoon arms, sunghoon
word count: 21,858
playlist: click here.. (for my non-spotify babes, the main song is light by wave to earth (which for some reason i put last.. whatever))
author's note: for silly @asahicore. happy birthday pooks i hope it's amazing and that u enjoy reading this when u have the time !!! LOL (lots of love) also im never writing without telling you things again this was so absurd.
to everyone else.. ok happy reading also emma did not beta read this so im sure it's missing its charm .. anyway it's for emma not you 😭 anyway i hope u enjoy regardless and lmk ur thoughts! omg this is the first fic im nervous about posting.......... please enjoy or else.
In the three years since Park Sunghoon moved away for university, he’d been doing a pretty good job of going home to see his parents. They’d welcome their baby back to the nest with open arms and wide grins. With a rehearsed level of indifference, his younger sister, Yeji, would say, “Oh, I didn’t know you were coming home this weekend.” when she saw him at the dinner table. Sunghoon pretended to only be marginally hurt by this.
In the last three months, he hasn’t so much as sent a text to his parents.
Or to you.
Ignoring texts from his mother is devastating. Between classes, he watches as, “Hi, sweetie, I love you 😍,” turns into, “Missing you, honey, know you must be busy but spare some time for your old mummy, no?” which turns into, “Getting really worried now, are you doing okay? Has something happened with YN? Talk to me, I love you, my baby boy!”
Ignoring texts from you is easy because texts from you never come.
Sitting at the end of his bed, Sunghoon rereads a text his mother sent a few minutes ago: Please talk to me, son. Really worried and YN isn’t answering calls either. What’s going on with you two?
When he leaves his room, he finds Jake lying on the couch, and with his keys in hand, Sunghoon says, “I’m going home.”
And the drive is great! At least, he tells his mum it is. In truth, the drive home without you was nearly impossible. Your ever-expanding home time playlist buzzed through the speakers in his car, but without you there to screech along to the songs, it wasn’t the same. He felt your absence the most when he stopped to get petrol and you weren’t there behind him struggling to carry enough snacks to feed a small family without offering to pay.
The look of worry on his mum’s face stirs a pit in his stomach. “Why are you so quiet these days? God, you look so tired,” she says, frowning. “Is it school? Or something with YN? It’s not like her not to text back.” Her brows crease as she whispers the word unless. She pulls him into a hug, her chin resting perfectly on his shoulder, and her comforting hand strokes the hair on the back of his head. “Breakups are never easy, honey. I’m so sorry, I know how much you love her.”
Breakups are never easy. The sentence hangs heavy over his head.
Whether she knows it or not, she’s handed him a get-out-of-jail-free card, the opportunity to set things straight, to end this mess once and for all. No further questions, and most importantly, no more lies.
For the first time since he left your flat three months ago, Sunghoon lets himself cry. He’d imagined this moment countless times, his first cry since you ended things. In his mind, it was always intense. Today, as it happens, only a few salty tears leak from his eyes, spilling onto the cuff of his sleeve, darkening the blue cotton in tiny indigo splotches.
“We didn’t break up,” he says in a small voice—for some reason. “I’m just having a hard time.” Neither statement is technically untrue, but the words taste rotten in his mouth.
The tightening grip of his mum’s arms around his body is what brings on the harsh, shoulder-racking sobs he’d been anticipating. For a while, they stand like this, Sunghoon weeping into his mum’s cardigan until she sends him upstairs to lie down, promising a cup of tea that never comes.
His childhood bedroom is chilly, so he changes into clothes he left behind and climbs into bed, pulling his duvet up to his chin. He turns his head to look at the walls and the room around him, everything is exactly where he left it in the summer. It should be comforting, but it’s weird to be home without you.
There are photos of you and him everywhere, growing up and around each other through different stages of life. The two of you together during the summer your family moved in next door, you wore glasses back then and were the first friend he’d made in his life. Sunbathing and sharing earphones at the beach, listening to music together on your iPod classic. Sunghoon in thick glasses with a stiff smile and your arm around him on the first day of high school. Wide grins at the start of this summer, the last time things were okay between you.
Overwhelmed, he stares up at the ceiling, only realising he’s crying when a hot tear slips from his eyes to tickle his ear. Because Sunghoon likes to upset himself, he screws his eyes shut and thinks about the night before you stopped talking.
Though he didn’t know it at the time, you’d left Yeonjun’s place to sit with him in a tiny restaurant on campus, the one you’d only visit to toast to each other’s heartbreaks. It had become a ritual — ever since your first year boyfriend dumped you after two weeks — to cry as much as you wanted and drink as much soju as your bodies could handle before stumbling back to your apartments.
Having spent years suffering from an unrequited crush on his best friend, Sunghoon was always the one to comfort you. But that night was different; you were there to comfort him. It was easy enough to play the part of ‘boy whose crush likes someone else’ because he spent your entire friendship in that role. He’d had no problem accepting his fate, but his composure started to slip when you met Yeonjun. It was the first time you’d dated someone who Sunghoon had reason to be jealous of. In every way, Yeonjun was better than him—taller, funnier, hotter. Sunghoon knew he didn’t stand a chance. He took it personally, you liking Yeonjun instead of him, and let his jealousy consume him from the inside out.
This jealousy led him to start telling you about Minjeong—lying to you about Minjeong, and his feelings for her. She was a girl from a college out of town that he saw on his Instagram Explore page. He followed her by accident, and by some stroke of luck, she followed back. Sunghoon didn’t really have feelings for her — he didn’t even know her — but she was a girl that you didn’t know, so you wouldn’t be able to meddle.
It only took a few weeks for Sunghoon to become so upset about your relationship that he couldn’t hide his emotions anymore. So, in a fit of tears, he told you over the phone that things ended badly with Minjeong, and he was in urgent need of a soju ceremony.
But the night was missing its usual comforts.
It was strange to be the one crying, to see you looking put together and ordering the food. To see you pouring the drinks and raising your glass to propose a toast to ‘Hoonie’s first heartbreak’. You were driving that night, so you only had a tiny sip of soju and let him drink as much as he needed, the way he always did for you, at the same table, in the same restaurant for years.
Hours later, in your car, you entertained his drunken rambles, though he remembers how your lips were set into a frown that he wanted to kiss away while you gripped the steering wheel like you thought it would run from you. Sunghoon was more drunk than he’d been in a while, drunk enough to let you sling his arm over your shoulders and keep him upright until you reached his flat.
The voices coming from Yeji’s room disrupt the memory. He’s thankful.
“Your brother’s going through something, so be nice to him this weekend.” His mother’s voice is her version of hushed—a loud whisper.
Yeji’s response is harder to make out, but he doesn’t miss the way their mum says, “I mean it, missy.”
A dramatic sigh rumbles through Yeji as she barges into his room without knocking. Sunghoon sits up, feeling an ache in his back and crossing his legs.
“Mum told me to lay off you today, which is fine, but before I do, I need to tell you something.”
Yeji pushes the door shut behind her, and the open window makes it slam, both of them flinching from the sudden noise. She pulls her hair out of a silk scrunchie and throws herself on the floor. A pang of irritation forms in his chest, knowing that he could immediately find the empty hanger in his wardrobe where the shirt she’s wearing used to live.
“I hate you and your perfect golden boy image, Hoon. Would it kill you to fail a class for once? I don’t know how I’m supposed to carry on your legacy.” She’s looking up at him, her chin in her hands and irritation written in the crease between her thick brows.
It’s impossible to know if it’s because of Yeji’s complete lack of boundaries or the fact that her ‘perfect, golden boy’ big brother is on track to fail three out of three classes and get cut from the hockey team, but Sunghoon immediately bursts into tears.
“Oh, uh.. I’m sorry?” Yeji offers. “I was kidding if that helps.”
“I’m alright, it’s okay.” The tears don’t stop stinging his eyes. “Why do you want me to change everything about myself?”
With a frown, Yeji pours out her frustration and mild resentment. She doesn’t understand how Sunghoon effortlessly conquers every aspect of life while she struggles. Neither do their parents, who had been baffled by her plummeting grades since she moved to boarding school, especially when Sunghoon’s academic performance has only soared since he left for university. The weight of this perceived injustice pulls Sunghoon’s shoulders down with guilt as she talks about the expectations he has inadvertently set for her.
“But other than that, I’m good.” She shrugs, sitting with her legs out, and leaning back on her palms. “How’s YN?” she asks. It’s clear from the brightness in her voice that she thinks she’s helping.
Sunghoon cries again.
Back on campus, he’s trying to scrape together what’s left of his academic career with the help of two of the smartest guys he knows, and their friend Jay. Though the word ‘friend’ feels a little strong at the moment given the way Jay’s goading him.
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, sitting back in his seat. “There’s nothing you can do that I can’t,” he says, meaning every word.
Jay scoffs, shrugging and raising his brow in a way that, over the years, Sunghoon knows to interpret as his ‘about to say something ridiculous’ look. “Pretty sure I could call YN right now, and she’d answer.”
There’s a pit in Sunghoon’s stomach as Heeseung turns his head in the other direction like he’s been slapped, trembling with stifled laughter. At least Jake doesn’t hide his amusement, throwing his head back in a fit of giggles that draw nasty looks from the other students in the library. Sunghoon doesn’t waste his energy trying to argue because Jay’s right.
Now composed, Heeseung turns back to the table, flipping through some of Sunghoon’s course materials to find whatever his class was doing in class that week. The English Literature class he’s taking — The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway — is the same class he had to send a million emails over the summer to get enrolled in, but it’s the same one Heeseung aced two years ago. Lucky for him none of the boys seem to be in the mood to make fun of him for trying so hard to have a class in common with you, and then practically failing out of it before the term had started properly.
“This class is, like, beyond easy, dude.” Heeseung pauses to sniffle and twist the stud in his ear. “Everyone in my class aced it. How are you doing so badly already?”
“I only took it because YN thought it’d be fun if we had a class together, but.. I kind of haven’t been going since we stopped talking.” Sunghoon shrugs, pretending to be unaffected.
As if the mere mention of your name has some sort of summoning power, like saying Biggie Smalls in the mirror three times, you appear in his eye line, rounding the corner with a furious stride. Your demeanour crumbles when Jay waves at you, and you grin, waving back, but as soon as you look Sunghoon in the eye again, the rage comes back, and you smack a hand on the table when you reach it, leaning over to him.
“Sunghoon, a word?” you ask.
He thinks you’re asking, but it’s hard to tell with the way you set your jaw afterwards, and the way the warmth of your signature vanilla scent hits him hard. Dazed, Sunghoon lifts a hand, pointing at himself. “Me?”
“Does anyone else at the table answer to Sunghoon?”
“Okay,” he says, somewhat pathetically, nudging Jay for laughing at him.
As slowly as possible, Sunghoon pushes his chair from the table and stands up, following you to the corner of the references section where only anthropology students in scratchy thrift store knits, and Jay, come to check out encyclopaedias by volume. You look good, save for the rage written all over your face—which, honestly, Sunghoon thinks he likes.
Sunghoon isn’t sure what to expect, so he says, “Hey.” He’s being cautious, waiting a moment to gauge your reaction. “What’s gooooood?” His cheeks burn as soon as he closes his mouth around the vowel, but you laugh. You laugh, and it’s beautiful and happy, and you’re laughing because of him—or at him, but he’s glad either way.
Annoyance quickly clears all traces of amusement on your face. “Were you ever going to tell me we’re spending next week at Mum and Dad’s?” you ask.
Sunghoon gasps dramatically, clicking his fingers. “I knew there was something I’ve been meaning to do.”
His attempt at lightening the mood falls flat, and you only nudge his shoulder gently, sighing. “Can you be serious? For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me?” You’re frowning, crossing your arms over your chest and looking at your feet. “It’s not fair, Sunghoon. For you to keep saying things—making plans involving me and then acting like I’m the bad guy when I turn you down.”
“I don’t think you’re the bad guy at all,” Sunghoon admits. “If anyone is in the wrong, it’s me, I guess.”
You scoff, looking at him like you hate him. “You guess? Are you serious?” You look furious, but you sound hurt and Sunghoon hates it. Hates himself. “I can’t have this conversation with you right now. Tell mum I’m sick, and it’s contagious.” You roll your eyes and walk away, leaving Sunghoon alone with his thoughts and judgemental stares from students in crochet scarves so long they graze the floor.
He sighs, slumping against the wall. How does he keep getting it wrong with you?
Back at the table, Sunghoon manages to act like he’s not falling apart and makes some serious headway on his missing assignments with Heeseung’s help before they call it a day as the sun starts to set.
When he gets home, he lies down on his bedroom floor, spending hours poring over the conversation you had. Over the minute changes in your facial expression, the tone of your voice, and the endless list of things he should have done, rather than watch you walk away.
The moment feels familiar, both identical to and worlds apart from what happened after you left three months ago. When he managed to scrape the last shreds of his dignity from the kitchen table, he dragged his feet to his room and lay down like he is now, face to the rug. That day, he left his door open and lay so still that Jake thought he was dead. Sunghoon remembers wishing he had been.
For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me? The words run on a loop in his mind, over and over, until he can’t remember the order of the sentence or where you put emphasis. They’re cutting all the same.
Sunghoon sighs into the itchy fibres of his black rug before rolling onto his back. In the diminishing purple light of the setting sun. he looks at the walls of his room. At the Fleetwood Mac poster, he stole from Jay when they moved out of their first year dorm, that curls away from the wall towards the ceiling—a diagonal strip of shiny tape being the only indication of the otherwise invisible tear through the face of Stevie Nicks.
He’s glad when his phone rings, cutting through the quiet, though the sight of your name and the anatomical heart emoji next to it only dampens his spirit. Reluctantly, Sunghoon answers the phone, holding it to his ear.
“I just got off the phone with Dad..” You trail off. Tangible silence follows, so thick it weighs on his chest. “I’ll go home with you.”
“You will?”
“Yes. Goodbye.”
Sunghoon reaches your flat at five in the evening. You don’t smile when you open the door for him, nor do you invite him in. Instead, you dump your bag at your feet and he cringes, looking from the floor to you. You’re aggressively beautiful and cosy-looking as you pull a jacket over the sweater you wore that night. Sunghoon’s heart aches in his chest and he wonders if you even realise. Suddenly, the memory of the last thing you said the morning after hits him like a truck: Then let’s not be friends at all.
A familiar weight lands on his shoulder—your hand. Concern lines your eyes as you ask if he’s okay.
With a lump in his throat, Sunghoon nods.
In the discomfort of his car, the two of you sit in silence while he starts the drive home.
“How’s Yeonjun,” he asks, eyes flicking towards you but regretting it immediately when he sees how you clench your jaw.
“No,” you say simply, shaking your head. “You don’t get to ask me about him.”
These are the only words you exchange until Sunghoon stops for petrol. He has enough fuel for the rest of the journey, but he feels like dying and thinks the fresh air might quell his thoughts of running his car off the road. Like always, the two of you get out and head into the kiosk, where he follows you wordlessly through the aisles, watching you debate on snack choices before settling on the same things you always get. Sunghoon pays for your snacks and you roll your eyes but don’t protest, mumbling thanks as you take them into your arms, leading the way back outside.
He knows he needs to tell you before you reach the house, but he’s not entirely sure how to say it—so he just does. “My, uh.. my parents think we’re dating.”
You stop so suddenly in front of him that he almost bumps into you. Stepping around you, Sunghoon keeps walking.
Over the top of his car, he watches your face cycle through all five stages of grief until anger comes back around in the loop as you scoff. “Why do they think that?” Your face is devoid of expression now, the blankness over your features dragging a sharp chill over his spine.
He stares blankly at you, processing. “Because I told them we’re dating,” he mumbles.
“Why did you.. do that?” You tilt your head, eyes pressing shut in a long blink. “What are you even talking about? Why did you.. What?”
A thin layer of sweat coats his palms despite the cold. Why did he do that? “We can stage a breakup during the trip or say we broke up right now,” Sunghoon offers. “Just one night, YN, please.”
The wind whistles by, ruffling your hair and jacket that you hug tightly to your chest. Behind you, Sunghoon takes note of the group of girls standing by the pumps, all five of them jerking their heads abruptly when they notice him watching, suddenly finding interest in the scattered litter and flickering halogen bulbs in the steel canopy over their heads.
You’re staring when he looks back at you, nostrils twitching with a sniffle before you sigh. “Or we could say that you’re a liar and end things there,” you say. “Or better yet, you go down there on your own and tell them the truth.”
Sunghoon’s gaze drops, his thoughts racing in his mind. He knows you’re right. At some point, his parents will have to find out, and it’d be better for them to find out now. Sunghoon sighs, nodding. “Alright,” he concedes. “I’ll take you back.”
An angry laugh comes out of you as you shake your head. “No need, I’ll walk.”
The station you’re at is neatly nestled in the middle of nowhere, on a road so narrow he’s not even sure it has a pavement. You’re halfway through the three-hour drive, so there’s no telling how long the walk would be, never mind the fact that the sun is already setting and it’s deep enough into October for the wind to sting.
“From here?” he asks, incredulous.
“Yes, open the boot so I can get my bag.”
Sunghoon can only bring himself to say your name, a desperate whisper.
“Open the boot.”
He repeats your name as if it’ll make a difference, he’s pleading with you, begging—though he doesn’t know for what.
You go to the back of his car where Sunghoon joins you, a pit in his stomach when you step away. With misty eyes, you look up at him and his heart breaks. “Please.”
Sunghoon knows you well enough to know that you’re not actually going to attempt the walk home but also knows that you won’t back down if he keeps challenging you. He nods, opening the boot for you and getting into the driver’s seat—your move.
You stand there, unmoving, and long enough passes that he thinks you’ll actually leave. The boot closes softly and you join him in the passenger seat. You sigh, buckling your seatbelt. “Let’s just get this over with.”
For the rest of the journey, you sit in silence as Sunghoon briefs you on the relationship, fighting a smile as he thinks about being your boyfriend—even if only for a night. You scoff when he ‘reminds’ you that you’ve been together for four months now and the only reason you haven’t been able to come home recently is that your schedules don’t match up very well anymore—which couldn’t be further from the truth as, before term started, you went out to celebrate the fact that your class schedules couldn’t be more suited for seeing each other.
Finally, at Sunghoon’s childhood home, the two of you smile and laugh for his parents before going to bed. Your relationship has only made his mother more averse to the idea of you sharing a room under her roof than she had been when you were younger. He’s relieved about this, and in the solitude of his bedroom, he lies on the duvet of his twin bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about the last few hours.
With his parents, you’d sat up in the living room watching TV. They sat on the couch together, his mum nestled in his dad’s side, while you two sat on the couch opposite, mirroring their position. If your complete stiffness was anything to go by, you were less than comfortable with his arm around you and Sunghoon felt terrible for begging you to go along with this. It was after midnight when you all went upstairs and you let him kiss your forehead before all but slamming the door to the guest room in his face. His heart twirled and his mum beamed at him before saying goodnight again.
Now, at 3 a.m. he can’t sleep. Flinching at the knock on his door, he furrows his brows and goes to open it. It’s you. Standing there with your hair scraped away from your face in one of his t-shirts. Your eyes are red, brimmed with tears as you step into his room and sit on his bed.
He closes the door softly, heart aching at the sight of you so upset, and when he sits next to you, his heart tears apart because you move over, putting a distance between you. It falls out of his chest onto the floor when he realises you’re not wearing your necklace.
Sunghoon suspected you might have stopped wearing it, it only made sense that if you didn’t want him, you wouldn’t want the necklace he bought for you either, but at least earlier, your sweatshirt sat so high he couldn’t see if you had it on or not.
It was a gift for your sixteenth birthday, after your first heartbreak. He was so upset and angry that you let some loser hurt you that way, upset and angry that someone could be loved by you and fuck it up. Sunghoon was inspired by Jay, who’d gotten a pretty necklace for his girlfriend, and talked about her cute reaction for weeks, how happy she was to have a piece of him with her all the time. It was a locket, with a picture of Jay in one side and a picture of her in the other so the pictures would kiss when she wore it.
While at the jewellers with Jake, Sunghoon thought something like that might be a bit much for the two of you and eventually picked out an equally pretty piece with his first initial on it. He wrote a corny note to put in the box, something about how ‘boys come and go but Sunghoon is forever’ and gave it to you with trembling hands a few nights later—it was the first time he ever made you cry. Immediately, he thought he’d done something wrong and was ready to snatch the box and run back to the jewellers (even though he trashed the receipt). You hugged him and told him you loved him. Sunghoon’s been riding that high ever since.
Until tonight at least.
“Are you okay?” he whispers.
“I’ll do it, Hoon.” Your eyes lift from the floor to meet his gaze. “For as long as you need me to, I’ll pretend.”
As soon as the words leave your mouth, Sunghoon feels lighter, an unbearable weight slipping from his shoulders. You haven’t called him ‘Hoon’ in ages, and he can’t tell if you’ve said it out of vulnerability, or even noticed that you’ve said it at all, but it warms his heart nonetheless. However, he’s not fully at ease, still curious about your sudden change of heart and why you’re crying.
“What happened?”
You pull him into a hug, and his eyes bulge out of his head. “It doesn’t matter,” you say, the words muffled by the skin at the base of his neck.
For as long as he’s known you, you’ve smelled like vanilla, a sweet warmth that grounds him. Yet it’s only after these months apart that he’s able to put a name to the sensation: home. The realisation of how much he’s missed this feeling, missed you, floods him with a rush of emotion so overwhelming he can’t find the words to press the issue. A moment passes before he remembers to hug you back, his arms finally wrapping around you, pulling you close, and you sink into his hold. Months ago, he would have kissed the top of your head and mumbled reassurance into your hair, but tonight, Sunghoon settles for stroking the back of your head and hopes it’s enough.
“You can talk to me, you know? You can always talk to me.”
A heavy silence follows, sharp as a dagger—scraping his skin, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge and lodging itself between his shoulder blades. Sunghoon’s breath hitches in his throat when you cling onto him even tighter, shifting so close you’ve had to settle in his lap. His heart races in his chest, pounding a rhythm so loud it fills the room.
Finally, you speak, assuring him that you know and that you’re okay. At this, Sunghoon holds you as tight as he can, and neither of you speaks for the rest of the night. You fall asleep like this, in his arms, so deeply that you don’t even stir when he lies down.
Rubbing your back, he watches the clock on his nightstand, the piercing green LED digits cycling through two whole hours right before his stinging eyes until you wake up. Sunghoon presses his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep when you kiss his cheek and leave his room.
For the entire morning, you stay in your room, and although Sunghoon is concerned, he decides not to bother you. In the afternoon, he sits at the dining table with his mum, listening as she talks about work. When she asks him, he gets up to make a cup of tea for her. It’s at that moment when you finally come downstairs, looking so effortlessly pretty. Your hair is still damp from the shower, and you’re bundled up in one of his old sweatshirts. There’s a bright grin on your face that leaves his heart thudding.
“Baby!” you squeal when you see him, charging towards him and wrapping your arms around him from behind. “Good morning.” Your words are muffled against the back of his t-shirt, and the four-letter word, and the sugar coating it, make his cheeks burn.
“It’s great to see you too, YN,” his mum says with a smile. “My night was amazing; I slept very well and had no dreams.”
You let go of Sunghoon and walk over to the table, kissing his mum on the cheek and wishing her a good morning as well. “Sorry, mum, how are you?”
His mother doesn’t seem to have the heart to correct you either, allowing your 3 p.m. ‘good morning’ to go unnoticed.
Sunghoon carefully fills both mugs to the brim and, with extra caution, carries them to the table. He places a steaming cup of peppermint tea in front of his mum and a milky coffee in front of you. A warm smile spreads across your face as you mouth a ‘thank you’, and his knees turn to jelly.
The next day, after eating an early dinner with his parents at the table, the four of you go out on a walk along the bike path you used to take for school. His parents have gone ahead, not intentionally, but because Sunghoon can’t stop you from dragging your feet.
As with most things in the town where you grew up, nothing about the trail has changed. The leaves are yellowing in standard form for the season, and crunching under his feet with each step he takes. The only foreign experience is the silence that you’re determined to uphold. Everything Sunghoon says to you is met with either a hum, a nod, or no acknowledgement at all. At this point, he feels like he could drop dead at your side and the most you’d do is step over his body like a fallen branch.
After letting you go ahead, the weathered slats of the wooden footbridge sag in the middle under his tread. It’s been like this for as long as he can remember and he wonders how nothing has been done about it. The stream rushes under it, loud and unruly, the smell of wet grass both comforting and suffocating as you look over the railing. It’s like something from a postcard, the low-hanging branches sweeping back and forth under the breeze, the grass lush and green around the path, murky water thrashing against the mud and rocks underneath with you in the middle of the frame, peering over the edge.
You keep walking when Sunghoon approaches, leaving him alone on the creaky bridge with nothing but the ache in his chest. He looks up, staring at the grey clouds in the sky through the gaps in the leaves, and sighs.
Eventually, he catches up with you, grabbing your hand and locking his fingers with yours when his parents slow down. You stiffen, looking up at him with cut eyes and a creased brow. “What are you doing?”
Sunghoon matches your clipped tone. “Holding my girlfriend’s hand.”
“No one’s looking, boyfriend.”
“You think my parents aren’t going to wonder why we’re lagging behind?”
A scoff—your fingers remain defiantly stiff. “Do you think your parents are going to care whether or not we’re holding hands?”
“My mum might after the show you put on yesterday afternoon, baby.” Bitterness covers the word like a blanket, a stark departure from how you said it.
A long sigh rumbles its way out of you before you fix your lips into a strained grin. “Sorry, sweetheart, this is my first time pretending to be in love.”
As your words hang in the air, Sunghoon’s emotions brew like a storm within him. Frustration gnaws at his patience. All hopes for a smooth week are dashed, though determination simmers in his chest with a strong resolve to make this work, to fix your relationship. It doesn’t stop the sharp pang of hurt piercing his stomach—he knows you don’t feel the same way, he knows you’re faking, but the word ‘pretending’ hits him like a truck anyway.
“We held hands all the time when we were friends,” he points out.
Your smile drops immediately, hurt flashing behind your eyes. “Yeah, and now we’re not.”
If there was a competition for who could hurt Sunghoon’s feelings the most, you’d be a shoo-in for first place. With distinction.
“Exactly!” he says, feeling the sting of his own words. “Because now we’re dating.”
At the sight of his mum turning around, you switch up in an instant. Lock your fingers with his, wrapping an arm around his bicep, leaning into him, giggling. It’s forced but his parents are far enough away that all that matters is the curve of your lips.
“You two okay back there?” she asks.
“Perfect! I feel like a kid again!” you call back, beaming up at Sunghoon in a way that makes his stomach flutter even though it doesn’t meet your eyes.
The two of you don’t talk at all when you get home, with you hugging his parents goodnight and running up the stairs.
“She’s not feeling too well,” he explains, nodding when his dad tells him to make you some tea.
His parents spend the whole day at work, and you spend the whole day following him around like a shadow until the evening when they return. He doesn’t pretend not to like it.
Sunghoon helps you make dinner, turning leftover rice into fried rice with the help of some eggs and vegetables. It’s nice moving around the kitchen with you, watching you scramble eggs in his t-shirt and bump his hip with a playful frown when he eats some of the peppers you’re chopping.
His parents watch from the table, cooing over the two of you and he does his best to fight the blush forming on his cheeks and neck. Embarrassed, he hugs you from behind, hiding his face in your neck—the scent of your coconut conditioner mixing with your vanilla perfume doesn’t do anything to stop the flush.
Over a bottle of wine, the four of you eat together at the table, swapping stories about your days. Sunghoon tries to hide his surprise as you lie about the time you spent at the play park by your primary school, competing for height on the swings and spinning on the roundabout until you couldn’t stand up. You grin at him, and it meets your eyes as you hold his hand under the table, and kiss his cheek.
After eating, his parents head upstairs, leaving to clean up together. You hum a song he’s never heard as you load the dishwasher, carefully placing the plates and cutlery in the rack, shaking your head when he hands you the glasses you’d used.
“Leave ours,” you say. “If you want.”
Sunghoon nods, putting them back on the table, where you sit in the seat across from the one he was sitting in. He sits too, staying quiet rather than saying the wrong thing. You don’t speak either. It’s reminiscent of the past—the hours you’d spend in the same room, only speaking to share a funny post you’d come across or to ask if you were hungry.
His eyes track your movements—reaching for the half-empty bottle on the table to pour yourself another glass, filling it to the brim. Before putting it down, you offer him some, filling his glass too when he nods. The three glasses of wine he’s already had must be the reason he wants to reach across the table and hold your hand, run his thumb over the soft skin on the back of it.
Sunghoon doesn’t know why you’ve been so nice to him all day or why it makes his chest hurt.
“You know you don’t have to be nice to me when we’re alone, right?” The words come out before he can stop them.
Over the top of your glass, your brows knit together. A sound of confusion, a low hum, comes from your throat as you try to finish your sip. “What?” you ask finally.
“I only asked you to do this because of my parents, you know? You don’t have to sit or talk with me when they’re not around.”
Sunghoon’s known you long enough to recognise the look that flashes across your face. The way your eyes narrow and your brows tug together, the little pout that sets on your lips before you speak; you’re hurt.
“Why can’t I just be nice to you because it’s the right thing to do?”
Because it hurts, is what he wants to say. He wants to cry, to beg you to forget everything he said that day. “Because I don’t want to make you any more uncomfortable than I already have.” Is what he settles for.
Your face softens. “I don’t feel uncomfortable around you, Hoon. We were best friends for ages, I don’t think you could ever make me uncomfortable.” You pause to take a gulp of wine. “Why can’t I just want to be nice to you?”
Sunghoon has to chew on his cheek to distract himself from how much your word choice stings. The implications of were and all of your past tense. “I’m sorry,” he says.
“What for?”
“Everything.”
There’s a sadness in the way you run your fingers on the base of your glass. The way you chew on your lip, how your hair falls when you tilt your head and how it moves when you shake it. “It’s not your fault,” you say. “I don’t know anyone who would choose to have unrequited feelings for their best friend.”
Wow, he thinks. You’re on a roll. Sunghoon wonders if you’re meticulously choosing your phrasing to upset him. Wonders why you feel the need to remind him that his feelings aren’t reciprocated as if he didn’t live through and spend hours reliving the day he confessed.
“But I didn’t have to tell you about it. It was unfair of me to spring that on you when I knew about Yeonjun.”
“Did you.. did you think I was going to leave him for you?”
“Maybe?” Sunghoon chews on his lip—he has no idea what he thought would happen. “I think I thought I loved you enough for both of us, that you might play the part for fun or out of curiosity, and.. I don’t know, just learn to love me.”
“Hoon,” you whisper, frowning. “How could you even think about settling for something like that?”
Sunghoon shrugs. “It’s not settling if it’s you.”
Silence takes a seat at the table after he speaks, interrupted only by the ticking clock on the wall—a glittery mess of scrapbooking paper and washi tape layered over each other that Yeji had decorated at summer camp years ago. You’re picking at your fingernails, letting flecks of black polish fall to the table, stark against the varnished oak.
“I know it’s not my place to ask,” Sunghoon starts after a while, hesitant and only continuing when you nod. “But what did Yeonjun say when you told him? About.. everything?”
You take a long sip from your glass and sit quietly for so long that he thinks you’re not going to answer him—he doesn’t blame you.
“I didn’t.”
He waits for you to elaborate. You don’t.
Sunghoon nods slowly, deciding not to ask any follow-up questions. Instead, he takes another drink, scrunching his nose at the bitter taste. “He didn’t ask why we stopped hanging out?” he blurts out.
“I told him we fell out but I didn’t say why.” You shrug, but your posture is stiff.
“Where did you tell him you were going to be this week?” He knows it’s not his business at all, that he’s pushing your boundaries, but he can’t help his curiosity.
“Nowhere.”
“You told him you were staying on campus?”
“I didn’t tell him anything.” Your gaze shifts, avoiding his as you toy with the stem of your glass. You drum your nails against it, letting the dull clink ring out.
“So you just left?”
“Does it make a difference to you?”
Sunghoon nods.
For a while, you tug at the drawstrings on your hoodie, pursing your lips to the side, considering this. “Yeonjun and I aren’t together anymore.” Your admission is so shocking that Sunghoon’s jaw drops. He tries to cover his surprise by coughing, his tongue sticking out like a small child. “I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want you to think it was because of you.”
Sunghoon’s thoughts move at lightspeed, too fast for him to catch onto any of them and process this information. His emotions compete with each other—disbelief, guilt, and a painful glimmer of hope he hadn’t dared to acknowledge until now all at the forefront.
“Was it?” he asks. “Because of me?”
You scoff—an incredulous sound that doesn’t match the sad look on your face. “I don’t know, Sunghoon. Do you think my boyfriend used me to make his ex jealous because of you?”
He’s not sure what he expected you to say, but this is.. Complete disbelief eclipses him as his heart sinks in his chest, shock, and guilt bubbling in his stomach.
“I’m sorry,” he says after too long. “That I wasn’t there. That I haven’t been there.”
“You didn’t know,” you say, gaze softening as you look up at him.
“But I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about it.”
You shake your head. “I made me feel like I couldn’t talk to you about it. All you did was change the friendship, I’m the one who ended it.”
“I still should’ve been there.”
“You’re here now, right?”
Sunghoon nods, earnestly. “Always.”
Only one thing comes to mind when you repeat the word ‘always’ before taking a sip from your glass, downing its contents. Sunghoon gets up and crosses the room with wobbly steps to open the fridge, where he pulls out as many bottles of soju as he can hold in his hands and puts them down on the table. He goes back to collect some glasses from the cabinet, puts some of the leftover fried rice from dinner into the microwave, and brings it all over when it’s done, with bowls and utensils. You watch him with a fond smile as he opens a bottle and he hopes you think the flush on his cheeks is from all the drinking you’ve been doing.
“Is it bad that I’ve missed doing this?” You’re grinning now.
Sunghoon shakes his head, raising his glass. “To YN’s fifteenth heartbreak.”
You grin, clinking the rim of your glass against his. “To YN’s fifteenth heartbreak,” you repeat.
Both of you down the glasses, and Sunghoon refills them, pouring the soju with an oddly steady hand. As you eat spoonfuls of rice and sip your drinks, silence settles over the room. The soft glow of the kitchen lights forms a warm ambience, a cosy familiarity that brings up simple memories—doing homework together at the table while gossiping about your classmates, the first New Year after you were both eighteen and had your first drink with his parents.
For at least an hour, the only sounds are the occasional clinks of forks against bowls, glasses hitting the table, the faint hum of the refrigerator and the steady tick of Yeji’s clock. Sunghoon’s eyes meet yours, and he can’t help but notice the slight change in your expression when they do.
You clear your throat, running a hand through your hair. “This is my sixteenth, actually.”
“What?”
You take a small sip of soju, staring down at the table. “My fifteenth heartbreak was losing you. Yeonjun is my sixteenth.”
In the two days since your soju ceremony, Sunghoon finds himself sinking into the role of your boyfriend like a hot bath. But there’s no use pretending it doesn’t hurt. Pretending it doesn’t hurt when you kiss his cheek before bed, or when you reach out to push the hair out of his face or snuggle into his side on the couch; because it does hurt—a lot. It hurts to think that in three days when you put your bags in the boot of his car, you’ll sit in silence all the way home. When he drops you off at your flat, you’ll close the door in his face and stop talking to him again. These realisations are harder to confront when he’s alone in his room, like now.
About an hour ago, you asked if you could borrow his car, saying there was something you needed to do on your own. It seemed important, so he handed over his keys with no question. Sighing, Sunghoon gets up from his bed and heads to the shower, where he jerks off to clear his mind. On his way back to his room, he notices the light leaking from the open kitchen door that illuminates the landing.
He hears the lock on the front door clicking, and stands at the top of the stairs, dripping water onto the carpet while listening attentively. His ears perk up when he hears a gasp—his mother.
“What’s this for?” she asks.
“I just..” You trail off. “I know it’s not much, but I wanted to thank you both for always looking after me.” You pause, and Sunghoon holds his breath, waiting. Your voice trembles as you continue. “It’s been hard since my parents went back home, and I guess it was still hard when they were here, but you both supported me. I don’t think I could’ve managed without you guys. I want to make you guys proud, you know? And I’m trying, really, so this is me saying thank you. I’m sorry it took me so long.”
He grips the railing by the landing, digging his nails into the wood until they start hurting—an ache in his fingertips that makes him wince.
An odd feeling settles in his stomach, a bittersweetness tinged in his fondness for you, and the gentle shock of realising how much his parents have done for you. Growing up, you became an honorary member of Sunghoon’s family. His parents showered you with gifts during holidays and birthdays, which you often celebrated with them rather than your own family.
The memory of your parents’ sudden decision to move across the country still lingers, and Sunghoon vividly recalls the tearful conversation he overheard at the top of the stairs. Your parents understood the enormity of their request but had earnestly asked if Sunghoon’s parents could continue looking after you.
His chest tightens when you start crying.
“You don’t have to thank us for anything, sweetie. Just you being here and taking care of our boy is more than enough thanks. You never forget our birthdays, and you always come and visit when you can. You’re doing a great job, and you should give yourself some credit,” his dad says, a little choked up. “We’ve always been proud of you.”
Sunghoon’s eyes sting with tears and his skin gets dry in the spots where the water from the shower is evaporating. He presses his fingers to his closed eyes, forcing a few tears to fall and walks the rest of the way to his room with his eyes shut. He can’t hear anything through his closed bedroom door, which he decides is a good thing as he coats himself in moisturiser and swipes deodorant under his arms with intention to spend the whole night alone. Once he’s dressed, he gets into bed and pretends not to be bothered by the way his wet hair dampens his pillow. Under the duvet, he tosses and turns before sighing and heading to Yeji’s room.
In her absence, the room’s subtle transformation is stark. The sage green-painted walls, once a backdrop to the A3 faces of Wave to Earth and Beabadoobee, now bear the faint imprints of those missing posters. Tiny, shadowy rectangles are the only remnants of the 6x4-sized pictures of her and her friends, of her and Sunghoon, that she took away with her to school.
Her hairdryer is still on her desk where she’d left it for him to use and he sits in her stiff wooden chair, plugging it in. The airflow starts immediately, hot and loud, humming throughout the space as he runs his fingers through his wet hair, feeling cosy under the heat. His shampoo is fresh and soapy scented under his nose, and his reflection watches him in Yeji’s mirror, eyes red and concerned while his hair blows around his head. Sunghoon closes his eyes and finishes his hair, sighing as he lets his worries slip under the whir of the fan.
Finished, he shuts off the dryer and opens his eyes, flinching at your reflection in the doorway behind him with a soft smile on your face. “Mum and Dad are going to open a bottle of wine if you want to join,” you say, meeting his eyes in the mirror.
Sunghoon can’t find it in himself to speak, only nodding in response. You smile wider but don’t move. He unplugs the hairdryer and leaves it on the desk where he found it before crossing the room. Without giving himself a chance to think about it, he pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head, smiling into your hair when you wrap your arms around his waist, holding him closer.
You’re sitting on the edge of the bathtub, mumbling sleepily that you’re never going to drink again, and Sunghoon leans over the sink brushing his teeth, he’s glad you have the decency to cover your mouth as you speak.
“Brush your teeth and go back to sleep then,” he mumbles around his toothbrush.
You don’t respond.
Sunghoon sighs through his nose, spitting foamy toothpaste into the sink, leaving bubbly, blue splatters on the porcelain. “And quit staring at me, I can feel your beady little eyes on the back of my neck and it’s freaking me out.”
“But you’re so pretty,” you coo.
There’s a flutter in his stomach and he rinses off the sink and his mouth, buying himself some time. With a hand on the Listerine, he lifts his gaze to meet yours in the mirror and stops short. You’re still staring at him, features soft and glowing under the afternoon light. You look like an angel; a gentle smile spreading over your lips, and a sleepy glint sparkling in your eyes, wide and gorgeous as you watch him. Sunghoon gulps, mumbling his thanks and looking back at himself. He hopes you can’t see the flush on his cheeks.
“Go back to sleep,” he says.
“Will you come and lie down with me if I do?” Your voice is a sleepy drawl, coming out in a slow, high-pitched slur, and your eyes are closing on themselves.
Lying down doesn’t sound like a terrible idea, especially not if it’s with you, so he nods. “If you brush your teeth, then yeah, baby, I’ll lie down with you.”
You chuckle softly at Sunghoon’s agreement, the sound carrying a mix of exhaustion and genuine amusement, showing no repulsion to him calling you the B-word. He didn’t mean to, it’s been a confusing few days. You nod, saluting to him and getting up to join him by the sink, using your hip to bump him out of the way, but he feels like he’s glued to the spot.
“Move, baby,” you mumble sleepily, reaching for your toothbrush. “We can cuddle in my bed,” you suggest, to which Sunghoon only nods, taking your words as a cue to unstick his feet from the floor and go to your room, playing the word ‘baby’ on a loop in his head.
He stands in the doorway staring at your bed, the duvet is all crumpled in the middle, and the pillows are in an L shape at the top corner. He sighs, he can’t go on like this, can’t stand around hoping even a tiny part of you called him ‘baby’ and it meant something for you as it did for him. It’s not fair for him to project his feelings on you like this, but he can’t help it. You’re already pretending for his parents, so would it be so bad to pretend for his sake as well? Even if only until the day after tomorrow when you leave?
The sound of the bathroom door shutting behind you snaps him out of his thoughts, your bright smile making his heart race when you tug him by the sleeve to your bed where the mattress dips underneath you as you curl into his form, resting your head on his chest and falling asleep. You’ve shared the bed before, countless times, but he knows you’ve only asked him because you’re tired. Because your brain is foggy with drowsiness that clouds your judgement, not because you want him there, not because you miss him when he’s two doors down the hall, tossing and turning at night thinking about you. He wonders absently if you can feel his aching heart beating through his chest, a painful, yet all too familiar rhythm that pulls his own eyes shut, plunging him into a deep sleep too.
It’s dark in the room when he wakes up, the sun already down behind the curtains and the soft yellow of the bedside lamp casting a glow around the space. You’re staring up at him, smiling and you don’t look away when he catches you. “What is it?” he asks, voice thick with sleep.
“Nothing,” you mumble. “I just missed you.” Sunghoon has no time to respond or even register what you said before you clear your throat, speaking again. “Come on, dad’s cooking tonight, he’ll need help.”
Helping Sunghoon’s dad with dinner always looks an awful lot like Sunghoon eating snacks on the kitchen counter and staring at you as you help his dad cook. Tonight is no exception, he’s sitting on the island, and his snack of choice is a family pack of Chilli Heatwave Doritos his mum bought for Yeji. He’ll have to remember to replace them before leaving seeing as he’s reaching the halfway point.
You go back and forth with his dad about measurements, with you rummaging through the drawers for measuring cups while his dad says it’s best to trust your gut. Reluctantly, you nod, chewing the inside of your cheek as you watch him eyeball the seasoning.
The gas stove turns the kitchen into an oven, and you complain about it while opening a window, pulling your hoodie over your head and leaving it in Sunghoon’s lap. Time stops when you grin at him, the light from the stove hood illuminating the necklace you’re wearing, his initial resting on your chest and glowing under the light. He chokes around a crisp when he sees it, catching your attention with his coughing.
“You’ll spoil your dinner, snacking like that, baby,” you scold, using a hand to push his knee. “We’re almost done, I swear.”
All he can do is nod, cheeks burning as he folds the crisp packet over before putting it back in the bread bin where he found it.
“Wow,” his dad says, resting his hands on his hips and shaking his head in amusement. “Being in love looks good on him, he’d never have listened if I said that.”
It’s already your last day when Sunghoon picks up Yeji from school. She grumbles for the entire half-hour drive and all the way to the front door about why the two of you couldn’t have started the trip today instead of ending it, but all of her irritation dissolves when she sees you in the hallway, leaving the front door wide open to fling her arms around you. You and Yeji exchange compliments for a while — You look so pretty. No, you look so pretty. I love your hair. I love your hair. — as Sunghoon locks the door and watches with a smile.
“God.” Yeji sighs, holding you by the waist and craning her neck up to look at you, as you push some of her hair from her face, pinning back her wispy bangs with the palm of your hand. Yeji giggles. “I’m so happy you two are together, even though I have no idea what a girl like you sees in my loser brother.”
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, leaning back against the wall. Despite his mild irritation at Yeji’s words, he finds the sight of you with her so adorable his stomach flutters. Over the top of Yeji’s head, you look at him with a fond smile. “He’s not so bad.”
It doesn’t sound like a compliment, but Sunghoon takes it to heart.
Like always, Yeji manages to capture your undivided attention and the two of you giggle and whisper with each other all afternoon while Sunghoon watches, too enamoured by the sight to care about being left out. An hour or so passes like this, until his parents get home from work, excited to see Yeji after a few weeks, and you leave her side, coming to cuddle with Sunghoon instead.
It’s nice being home with everyone, laughing and sharing a meal before his family walks the two of you to his car with at least a month’s worth of cooked food for you to share at university. Yeji makes you pinky promise that she can visit you and waves with a pout on her face until the car is out of view.
Contrary to what he’d been expecting, the drive back is nice. Your playlist is on, and you’re telling him about all the new songs you added, catching him up on things with Chaewon and Yunjin, and all the things you got up to in the time you spent apart. You tell him about a new café that opened up near your place and how you’ll have to go together when he has the time, and Sunghoon bites his tongue before telling you that he always has time for you. The first half of the trip goes on like this but you start dozing off around the halfway mark, your sentences becoming few and far between, eventually turning into half-mumbled thoughts that end prematurely.
You’re still asleep when he reaches your flat, head propped up against the window with your soft lips parted, looking too pretty and cosy to wake up. Instead, he drives in circles around your block, deciding to wait for you to wake up on your own. It only takes a half-hour but you blink your eyes open, stretching your neck before looking around and out the car window, recognising the street. You don’t say anything, only smiling when you look at him, a small curve of your lips that makes his heart race.
He gets out of the car with you, opening the boot to get your bag before pulling you into his chest for a hug, liking the way your arms settle around his waist. “Thank you,” he mumbles into your hair.
Sunghoon doesn’t follow you when you take your bag from him, only watching from the back of his car. You don’t notice until you reach the main door, looking over your shoulder and frowning at him. “Aren’t you going to walk me up?”
The two of you walk in silence up four flights of stairs as the lift in your building is out of order. Your bag feels much heavier in his hand now than it did outside. At your door, he watches you dig around for your keys, sighing with relief when you find them.
“Do you want to come in?” you ask from your open doorway.
“I—uh—I have training in the morning and I’m already pretty tired, so..” He trails off.
Unfazed, you nod. “Right, of course. I had fun this week.”
“Yeah, me too.”
You smile at him, sweet and sincere. “Text me when you get home, yeah?”
Sunghoon nods, saying goodbye. Out of habit, he doesn’t leave your doorstep until he hears the lock click shut, and walks back to his car with his head down.
True to his word, he sends you a text to let you know he got back to his place safely and you read it immediately but don’t reply. It’s empty in the apartment, Jake is out with his football team and the space is larger than usual in his absence. Far too tired to even consider going out and joining him, Sunghoon goes through his night routine, putting his phone on the charger and stepping into the shower where he spends entirely too long wishing he could live in this week forever as he scrubs his body. With brushed teeth and damp hair, he goes back into his room where his phone lights up with a notification; a text, from you.
YN🫀: i’m glad you got home okay, i just got into bed :) i don’t want to make you uncomfortable or overstep or anything and you can say no (obviously).. i’ve been missing you so much and didn’t know how to reach out or if you wanted me to but i had soooo much fun this week and spending time with you again made me happy, so i’d like it if we could keep hanging out, like before yk? ik it’s a long shot ahahaha but just say you’ll think about it?
hoonie: You’re not overstepping at all, I’ve missed you too, so bad. I had soooo much fun this week as well and I’d like it a lot if we kept hanging out, thank you for agreeing and coming along 😚 If you’re free after Lit tmrw you could come over? Or we could go out and do something, whatever you prefer
hoonie: I missed you so much..
hoonie: 🤍
The texts greet you as the first rays of Monday morning light filter into your room, instantly lifting your mood. Your bright smile doesn’t escape Chaewon’s notice as you find her in the kitchen, bathed in the soft light seeping through the sheer curtains. The kettle is boiling with a loud rumble that fills the whole room and leaves her yelling as she speaks to you.
“Good trip?” she asks, coming over and hugging you. “Never leave me for that long again,” she mumbles into your shirt.
“It was a week, Wonie,” you say, rolling your eyes even though you missed her too.
She leans away, looking at you with knitted brows. “It was nine days.”
“The longest of my life.”
Chaewon pulls air through her teeth, tilting her head and releasing you. “That bad, huh?” she asks, walking back to her seat at your tiny square table and shooting you a look that tells you to join her.
During your trip, you gave her nightly updates over text, so you know she knows how much you enjoyed yourself, but you elaborate anyway, sitting across from her.
“No, not at all,” you say, shaking your head and trying to fight a smile. “I had fun.” As soon as the words leave your mouth, you have to bite your bottom lip to stop the grin curving them; it doesn’t work.
Chaewon raises a suggestive brow, crossing her arms over her chest. “How much fun?”
“You’re disgusting.”
“I didn’t even say anything!” she defends, holding her hands up. “I made an implication. It was only a matter of time, you two have that whole.. lifelong best friends to lifelong lovers thing going on, and it’s hot.”
“Shut up.”
“You’re telling me, you spent nine days playing lovers with Sunghoon and you still don’t want him? You’re a lost cause, people would kill for that chance,” she says, tilting her head. “I think I would kill for that chance.”
“Don’t touch him.”
“Oh?”
“Jesus, Chaewon, it’s not like that. Hoon’s too sensitive for your roster.”
“I never said it was like anything, you’re the one who’s dangling me over the ledge for saying I want to fuck your hot best friend.”
“Sunghoon isn’t hot; he’s..” You find yourself at a loss for words, unsure how to continue your lie. Of course, Sunghoon is hot, you’ve known since you were seventeen and spent the summer at your grandparents’ house, only to come back to find your previously scrawny best friend having ditched his LEGOs for dumbbells. You sigh. “Just leave him alone.”
Chaewon grins, eyes sparkling as she leaves the table. “Okay,” she says in a singsong voice, leaving you and the irritation in your stomach alone in the kitchen.
You sigh, pressing your eyes shut and trying to will away your discomfort. It’s not like Chaewon would actually try anything with Sunghoon. Right? Even if she did, it wouldn’t bother you, nor would it be any of your business. They’re grownups and reserve the right to explore their options. Still, there’s a nagging feeling you can’t shake, an uninvited guest in the back of your mind.
When you check your phone, you realise you have half an hour before you need to head to campus, so you leave to get ready and text Sunghoon back on the way to your room.
you: sounds good, see u later 🤍
After showering, you stand in front of your wardrobe, towel hanging from your body as you pick an outfit. For some reason, you feel under pressure, picking a pair of jeans that do the most for your ass and a low-cut top that Sunghoon once — drunkenly — said he loved on you.
You have the residual sting of mouthwash on your tongue, and one foot out the door when your phone vibrates in your hand.
hoonie: Do you want to head to class together?
you: sure! i’m omw out, where should i get you?
hoonie: .. I’m outside your building :D
Breathing a laugh through your nose, you don’t fight the giddy smile on your face as you make your way downstairs to meet Sunghoon. Through the glass in the main door, he’s standing at the edge of the pavement and kicking a stone between his feet. The top of his puffer jacket covers the bottom half of his face, and the draught nips your skin when the door opens. Two girls you vaguely recognise stumble in with smudged makeup and heels in their hands, smiling at you while holding the door to let you out.
“Hey!” you call out, jogging over to him.
Sunghoon turns around, his head poking out of his jacket to grin at you, holding a travel cup and an abundance of tinfoil in your direction.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d have eaten anything yet, you don’t normally in the morning,” he says, a sheepish smile spreading over his lips when you take it. “Matcha. Ham and cheese toastie.”
“Did you make these?” you ask, inspecting the familiar cup and appreciating the warmth it provides.
He hums, nodding his head.
You ignore the heat spreading over your cheeks and thank him with a hug, grinning when he offers to hold your drink while you eat on the walk. The toastie is still hot, the cheese coming close to burning your tongue as you chew, but you appreciate it wholeheartedly, humming contently with each bite. When you’re done, you shove the foil into your pocket, taking your drink from him and smiling around the sweet taste of a matcha latte as he tells you about his schedule for the day.
“I’m meeting with Coach after class to talk about my grades, but I’m all yours after that.”
“Talk about your grades? What’s wrong with your grades?”
Sunghoon groans, head falling back and highlighting the bump of his Adam’s apple. “My grades are.. I failed my coursework this month, so I have resubmissions during finals, and I think he’ll bench me if I fail again.”
He sounds like he’s being serious, and if the look on his face is anything to go by, he is. The news creases your brows because for as long as you remember, Sunghoon’s grades were your parents’ favourite point of comparison.
“Really?” you ask. He nods. “What’s up? Is something the matter?”
A humourless laugh slips out of him before he pulls air through his teeth. “Yeah, my best friend didn’t talk to me for three months.”
“Oh..” Guilt stirs your stomach as you look up at him. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not blaming you, it’s not like I was trying to talk and you ignored me.” He nudges your arm with his elbow, giving you a warm smile. “But if you feel as guilty about it as you look, you can tutor me for Lit.”
“Deal.”
Sunghoon grins, wrapping his arm over your shoulders and holding you close; the action itself isn’t unusual, but the increased heart rate it brings about is. “You’re too good to me,” he says, holding onto you for the rest of the walk to class.
At his request, you sit with Sunghoon in the back row, watching as the lecture hall gradually fills up in front of you. He seems well-prepared, with his laptop and a small notepad and pen neatly arranged on the desk in front of him.
Throughout the class, your eyes inadvertently track his every move. He diligently types up colour-coded notes, occasionally pausing to write things in his notepad before continuing to type or stopping entirely to listen. There’s something melodic about his actions and the way his fingers run over the keyboard.
During a five-minute break, you glance at his screen. What you find is more than just lecture content; it’s a document adorned with Sunghoon’s own musings about Hemingway’s style and carefully analysed quotations that go beyond the class discussion.
“How are your notes so good?”
“I picked up the book over the summer when you mentioned it,” Sunghoon replies with a shrug, a shy smile playing on his lips as he leans back in his seat. “I liked it.”
A slow nod is your response, though your thoughts swirl like autumn leaves in a breeze. The last time Sunghoon read for leisure, you were in primary school, buddy reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid. But this—this is different. You can’t help but stare at him, awestruck as you take him in. His eyes are wide, shining amber in the sunlight as he pushes some of his hair from his face, frowning when it falls back where it was.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he mumbles.
Sunghoon takes a new line in his document and points at the screen where you watch the cursor move through the words he’s typing: I would’ve read and annotated the Bible if you wanted me to..
There’s no time to digest what he wrote or the funny feeling in your chest as you reread it before he deletes the whole sentence, pressing his lips together and looking out the window. Speechless, you stare at his side profile, willing your heart rate to slip back to normal. Steep-sloping nose, plump lips flattened into a line, two points of the triangular mole constellation on his face. Analysis worsens your condition, breath hitching in your throat before stopping entirely. Warmth and trepidation blend within you, fuzzy enough at the edges to seem like one thing—a single force that makes your palm itch with desire, desperation, to reach out and run a finger over his features, feel the bump of the mole on his nose — the most prominent — against your skin.
You remain this way — silent, watching — even when your lecturer resumes the lesson, and Sunghoon starts typing, writing, and listening again. Polite enough to pretend he doesn’t notice your gaze searing into his face.
After class, and his meeting with Coach, you let Sunghoon lead the conversation and the way to your flat, where you find Chaewon and Yunjin sitting on the couch, whispering to themselves while the two of you study at the coffee table. It’s uncomfortable, an awkward height, too high for the way you’re sitting but you feel calm under the supervision of Chaewon and Yunjin—you won’t do anything to merit teasing in front of them, no matter how badly you want to feel Sunghoon’s face in your hands or stroke his cheekbones with your thumbs.
To the best of your ability, you answer the questions he has for you—he’d written a ton in his tiny notepad during class, his own concerns clear with each neatly-penned iteration of: How to see actions/dialogue for what they are and not what I want them to be? written in the margins and you try not to feel heartbroken for him.
Three hours have passed by when you walk him to the door, the two of you wrapped up in a bubble so secure you’re surprised to find Chaewon and Yunjin still sitting on the couch. They don’t say anything about Sunghoon in his absence, or the fact he’d given you his sweater when he noticed you were cold. You’re not sure why their silence disappoints you.
Instead, Yunjin asks you about trivial things like dinner while Chaewon sits in silence.
“What flavour for ice cream?” Yunjin asks, rolling her eyes when you tug on the blanket but not complaining. “And don’t say something ridiculous like mint chocolate, YN.”
“That happened once! And it was three years ago.. How was I supposed to know you hate fun?”
Chaewon leans into you, letting you curl your limbs around her from behind as you rest your chin on her shoulder, liking the way her clean scent tickles your nose.
“Mint-cho isn’t that bad,” she starts. “It’s a little jarring, sure, but it’s kind of sweet. Like watching people come to terms with their feelings for each other.”
You nod your head, humming in understanding and furrowing your brows when Yunjin scoffs, staring straight at you. Her tone is equal parts cutting and loving, so you know she’s not trying to insult you, but don’t know what she means when she says, “It must be so nice to be as oblivious as you.”
Yunjin never elaborates, and you never ask, actually feeling the statement’s journey in through one of your ears and out the other when dinner arrives. The three of you share pizza, ice cream, and secrets — the three pillars of 20-something-teenage-girlhood — at the kitchen table, with Chaewon sitting in your lap and picking pepperoni from your slices.
It’s only hours after Yunijn’s gone home, that her words circle back to you, the statement and all of its weight perching on your chest with all the debilitation and persistence of a sleep paralysis demon.
“I think I’m getting sick,” you say as soon as she opens her door. “It’s been coming on for a while now, at least a week, maybe more.”
Unimpressed and exhausted, Yunjin looks down at you through half-closed eyes. “Do you..” She pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing. “Do you have any idea what time it is right now?”
“Yes. It’s three a.m.”
“Exactly. See a doctor if you’re sick, I’m going back to sleep.”
“This is an emergen—” Yunjin cuts you off by pinching your lips together. “It’s three in the morning,” she reminds you. “You can’t yell like that in my hallway, come in.”
You nod, crossing the threshold and taking off your shoes next to hers. “Sorry,” you whisper when the door is closed.
Using her hand, Yunjin lifts your chin, squinting as her eyes adjust to the light when she flips the switch to inspect your face. “You don’t look or sound sick,” she mutters, flicking the light back off and going to her room. “What are your symptoms? And why did you come here?”
You don’t have an answer for her last question so you ignore it, following her and tripping over a pair of her shoes in the process. “My cheeks start burning like crazy and my heart races, sometimes it gets hard to breathe.”
“You seem fine to me.”
A shoulder-slumping sigh slips from your lips. “That’s the thing. I’ll be fine and then Sunghoon shows up with his pretty smile and perfect hair and I feel like I’ve run a marathon.” You know how it sounds, choosing your wording meticulously to let Yunjin be the one to say the words out loud instead of you—it’ll be easier to confront that way.
From the doorway, you watch as she arches a brow, her interest piqued. “Oh?”
“I know.” You nod, head bobbing rapidly in furious agreement. “It’s only a matter of time before I cough up a lung and die in his bedroom.”
At your words, Yunjin doesn't reply, only lifting her duvet and getting cosy underneath. You feel like you’re glued to the spot, waiting for her to say something, anything, but nothing comes. All she does is pat the empty spot in her bed.
“What are you smirking for?” you ask, entering the room properly and closing the door.
Her response only comes after you’ve taken your jacket and hoodie off, sitting next to her under the covers. “It’s nothing,” she says, laughing.
“Tell me.”
Yunjin sighs, resting a hand gently on your shoulder. You think it’s meant to be comforting but it’s the opposite. “You’ll be fine, I promise. Lovesickness isn’t deadly.”
Feeling the weight of her reassurance, you settle down properly and sigh when your head hits the pillow. Lovesickness. Hmm.
Closing your eyes, you try to sleep but can’t help tossing and turning as Yunjin snores behind you. You pat blindly around the end table for your phone, grabbing it and wincing at the brightness of your screen. Chewing on your lip, you open Google, looking up ‘lovesickness’ and frowning immediately at the results. Endless negativity fills the screen, terrifying words like ‘unrequited love’ forming a pit in your stomach. There’s nothing negative about what you feel for Sunghoon, nothing unrequited—you think.
It was obvious during the trip, painfully so. In the way he’d tuck your hair behind your ear when his parents weren’t there to see, or how he slipped up and called you ‘baby’ in the bathroom, blushing when you said it back. You can’t fake something like that.. Can you?
Yeonjun did.
Shaking your head, you open Instagram to distract yourself. Jake’s story comes up first; he’s at a party where Jay is losing a game of beer pong, and at the other end of the table is Sunghoon grinning with a bright red lipstick kiss on his cheek. You lock your phone, using your hands to press on your belly to stop the stirring.
Oh, you think. Lovesickness.
When you wake up, the first thing you do is check Jake’s story again. The video is still there and that terrible stir in your stomach churns on, burrowing deeply into a pit of canyon-like proportion—so vast there’s a safety railing lining its edges.
You eat breakfast in silence with Yunjin, zoning out mid-chew to figure out the origin of these feelings and how to handle them. Suddenly, the moment hits you clear as day, vivid like you’re watching it on a screen—it was your third night at his parents’ house, after your walk.
You felt bad about how you acted, and what you said, so went straight up to your room. With nothing but the bedside lamp turned on, it was dimly lit, shadows cast on the walls as you sulked, replaying everything in your head. Guilt wrapped its long arms around your body, making you feel sick as you thought about it all. About the hurt etched over his face with every word you said, and the frown that stuck around for the rest of the walk as his hand clung limply to yours.
There was a knock at the door, so gentle you almost missed it, and Sunghoon was standing there when you pulled it open, chewing on his lip with a mug in his hand. Steam skated over the opening, a rich chocolatey smell hitting your nose but the real kicker was the mug itself. In its place on Jake and Sunghoon’s mug tree, it was unassuming, a regular white mug, but upon meeting hot water, the face of young Sunghoon appeared, grinning with his tiny glasses on. It was a gift from one of his old coaches and though he never used it, it was your absolute favourite cup in the world.
You felt soft around the edges when you looked up at him, his eyes wide and unsure as you met his gaze—he brought that mug three hours across the country so you could use it again. The thought shifted your heart into a comfortable position, settling in your chest with overwhelming warmth and an increased rate.
“Hi,” you said, clearing your throat.
“Hi,” he repeated, holding the mug out for you to take. “It’s still hot so be careful.”
Nodding, you covered your hands with your sleeves, taking the cup from him and asking if he wanted to come in. Sunghoon nodded, shutting the door behind him and standing by the bed, watching you set the hot chocolate on the bedside table as you sat down. The two of you stayed like that for a while, with him only moving when you patted the spot next to you on the duvet. Your train of thought escaped you as soon as he sat down, the warmth of his familiar fresh, citrusy scent taking over and becoming the only thing you could register. The smell of summers with him, long days at the beach and short nights spent on the couch at random parties, cuddled into his side with his arm over your shoulders. The smell you’d come to associate with comfort and home—with Sunghoon.
“It’s not fair for me to treat you like shit just because I’m annoyed, I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that earlier. I’m sorry.”
A crease ran over Sunghoon’s thick brows as they tugged together, he shook his head. “You don’t have to apologise. I roped you into this whole thing and didn’t even try to think about how you would feel. I’m sorry.” His eyes carried a mix of regret and sincerity, mirroring the weight of his words.
“Anyway, I only came to bring you that,” he said, pointing at the cup. “And to check up on you, I’ll get out of your hair for tonight.” Sunghoon wiped his palms on his pants before standing up, reaching behind him to pick up the cloth he brought. For a moment, he stood there, staring down at it in his hand while you thought about telling him to stay, telling him that you wanted him in your hair—whatever that meant. But he spoke before you had the chance. “You left this, at mine, after.. well, you know. I’m sure you left it intentionally, I mean it was folded up perfectly on the end of my bed, so I know you did, but it didn’t feel right keeping it, you always wore it more than me.”
Sunghoon extended his hand, holding it out to you and you knew exactly what it was as soon as the fabric touched your skin after so long. It was the shirt Jay bought him for Christmas in first year—they were roommates still trying to get a feel for each other. For a few weeks, Sunghoon had been pestering you about what he should get for Jay, saying it didn’t feel right not to get him anything, and you suggested a targeted t-shirt, one you’d been laughing at all day after seeing an ad for it on your timeline. Sunghoon was sceptical, but bought the red shirt anyway, hoping Jay would find BEING DAD IS AN HONOUR, BEING PAPA IS PRICELESS funny. He did. And Jay bought Sunghoon a targeted shirt too, your favourite. It was black and two sizes too big, with I NEVER DREAMED I’D BE A SEXY FIGURE SKATER BUT HERE I AM KILLING IT written over the chest.
“Goodnight, YN,” Sunghoon said, crossing the room to leave but hesitating before closing the door. He poked his head through the opening and sighed. “I really am sorry.”
That night, you fell asleep in the shirt, the thinning, yet cosy, fabric wrapped around you like a hug as your heart started to beat a new rhythm, one that eerily echoed the five-foot-eleven figure skater who you let break it.
This morning, Yunjin claps her hands in your face, seeming irritated when you look over at her. “You have class in an hour, what are you doing?” Before you have the chance to speak, realisation covers her face. “Oh, the feelings.”
You nod solemnly, too caught up in the butterflies raiding your stomach to come up with something to say.
At lightspeed, you scarf down the rest of your food, apologising for showing up so late as you head out the door. When you get home, you take the fastest shower of your life and feel grateful Chaewon isn’t around to tease you about the smile you can’t wipe from your face thinking about Sunghoon—you’ll text her later.
You run to campus, feeling the brisk autumn wind beating against your face while the rest of your body overheats under your jacket, hoodie and long sleeve. Despite the discomfort and ache in your lungs, you don’t stop until you reach the door of your lecture hall, huffing and puffing into the faces of classmates who don’t take any notice. Of course, in a stroke of pure luck, your lecturer is late, and you realise bitterly, that all of your huffing and puffing was in vain—you would have gotten to class with time to spare even if you walked.
It’s not a total waste though; you use the time to update Chaewon.
you: i have news wonie.. i like sunghoon
wonie: …………….. fork in the kitchen yn what’s the news?
wonie: OHHHH news to YOU.. can i call?
She calls you immediately. You answer without thinking because your lecturer still hasn’t arrived, and there’s no one sitting close enough to hear or notice you taking a call.
“Are you going to tell him?!” Chaewon’s voice is so loud you wince, pulling the phone away from your ear.
“I don’t know.” You shrug even though she can’t see you, still holding the device at a distance just in case. “I don’t have any confirmation that he still.. likes me. It’s been a while, and I was pretty mean that day.
Chaewon groans and you can picture her throwing herself onto her bed, exasperated. The rustling that comes through the receiver only frames the image, hanging it up. “Did you have to tell him to get a grip?”
“You know..” You trail off, chewing on your bottom lip. “In hindsight, probably not.”
A beat passes, she’s thinking. “Don’t worry,” she says. “I’ll help you.”
“I.. have never been so worried in my life.” You sigh, picking at your freshly painted nails. “But I know you’ll do something no matter what I say, so do what you want, Wonie, but please be subtle about it.”
Chaewon squeals down the phone. “I love youuuuu!” And it’s the last thing she says before kissing the mic a few times and hanging up.
Slumping in your seat, you don’t have any time to stress about Chaewon’s plans because your lecturer walks in, with a travel cup in her hand and a paperback tucked under her arm.
She apologises for being late, running a hand through her hair as she announces that you’ll be watching a film, an adaptation of a book you read at the start of term—Ian McEwan’s Atonement. You spend the first hour of the movie falling in and out of sleep until a text comes through from Sunghoon, and sheer excitement keeps you up.
hoonie: Wanna study together after class?
you: of course!!!!!!
hoonie: 🤍
The rest of the movie goes by in a drag, and you come away from it with a mild irritation towards Saoirse Ronan.
you: class just finished, heading to lib rn
hoonie: Shit, still in the locker room, sorry !!! Omw, can you get a table?
you: i’ll try..
It takes a while but you find an empty booth on the second floor, and set your bag on the plush green seat to take pictures of your surroundings to send to Sunghoon. You sit on the side facing the stairs so he can see you when he arrives. The thought of seeing him makes your heart race and you try out a few natural-seeming poses for when he’s here, cycling between resting your palm under your chin and sitting with your arms crossed a few times until the top of his head comes into view.
Seeing him knocks the wind out of you as he approaches the staircase, taking them two at a time with his damp hair clinging to his forehead and neck. It doesn’t help that he’s wearing a tight black vest, and his sweats are hanging low on his hips. A breath you didn’t realise you were holding slips out when he lifts his head, spotting you immediately as a grin spreads over his lips and he raises his arm to wave, the veins in his forearm peeking out to say hi too. You can’t tell if it’s his lack of winter wardrobe or your newfound appreciation for him that’s making his biceps look so huge but it’s hard to look away, even when he reaches the table.
“Are you hot?” you blurt out.
Sunghoon laughs, raising a brow and something about the way he’s looking down at you makes your cheeks burn. “Depends who’s asking.” He takes his backpack off, leaving it on the table as he sits down, dumping his jacket and hoodie in a pile beside him.
“I’m asking,” you mumble.
“Then, yeah, I’d hope so.”
Is he flirting? It sounds like he’s flirting. Flirt back! “Nice arms.”
He looks down at his biceps for a beat before looking at you warily. “Are you flirting with me?” He can’t fight the smile twitching at the corners of his lips but he tries his best, pressing them into a straight line.
“A little. They are nice though,” you admit.
Sunghoon grins. “Thanks, I’ve had them for a while now.”
You can’t come up with anything to say, too distracted by the way his smile reaches his eyes, lighting up his whole face and forcing a flustered heat to spread over your cheeks and neck. It’s only when you look away from him that you remember what you’re here for. It’s a study date, not a study date—there’s a difference.
You hand Sunghoon the material you’d printed for him over the weekend, excerpts from texts you’d studied in class, so he can practise close reading and proper citation. As he makes his way through them, you can’t help stealing glances, smiling at the way his tongue sticks out a little while he focuses, or how he twirls his pen in his fingers while he’s thinking. You aren’t making the best use of your time together, copying out the slides from class yesterday, but you can’t help noticing the way he watches you when he thinks you can’t see. The small smile on his face while he does so only flusters you, an odd weakness settling in your knees as your cheeks heat up.
After a while, Sunghoon sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Could you stop watching me?”
“If you noticed me watching, that means you’re watching me.”
He shrugs, chewing on his lip. “Well, yeah. I’m always watching you,” he says like it’s a given. “But you don’t normally watch back, it’s distracting.”
“You’re distracting.”
A playful smile curves his lips as he arches a brow, smugness painting his face. “Am I?”
Too scared to verbalise your response, you nod slowly, hoping you don’t look as wound up as you feel.
Sunghoon’s eyes flick over your face, flashing with something you don’t recognise. At least not from him. He sits back in his seat, assessing you and eventually shaking his head.
“You know,” he says, eyes glowing with something you do recognise: cockiness. “If my sexy arms are getting to you that much, I can always put my hoodie back on. Wouldn’t want my little tutor getting distracted, would I?”
Oh.
Your stomach turns with want, mind reeling from his tone and the way his gaze lands on your lips. Sighing, you roll your eyes and try to seem unaffected. “Sunghoon, I never said your arms were sexy.”
His phone starts to go off, buzzing against the table and he turns it over immediately, screen down on the surface as he shifts his focus back to his work. He chews on his lip while he does, eyes flicking back and forth between his phone and the words on the page. Curious, you lean over the table, elbows propped up as you rest your chin in your hands. He doesn’t spare you or his phone, which vibrates another four times, a glance.
“Are you going to get that?”
Sunghoon shakes his head. “It’s nothing.”
You hum, letting just enough curiosity seep into the sound that he’ll elaborate without being asked to. It doesn’t take long for him to deliver.
“It’s just Chaewon,” he says, running his hand through his hair and lifting his head. Sunghoon smiles. “We’ve been texting a lot these days.”
“Cool.” You nod a few times, aiming for nonchalance but hitting bobblehead as you wait for him to continue. He doesn’t, only humming in response, nodding too.
After a beat, he picks up his phone, angling it just high enough that you can’t see the screen. He reads the messages, an exhaled laugh coming from his nose as the tips of his ears redden—Fuck. This is worse than you thought.
Chaewon’s commitment to girl code runs deep—she’s been rebuffing Jake since first year when she overheard a girl she’d never seen before telling her friends she thought he was cute. So you know without having to read the texts that nothing she’s saying is even remotely flirty, you can smell the auto-caps and use of the word ‘buddy’ from across the table.
What you hadn’t counted on, however, was the potential for Sunghoon’s feelings to shift. If they really have been texting more, can you rule out the possibility that he might like.. her? Chaewon is a catch, beyond a catch, and you’d already turned Sunghoon down. Brutally. Of course, he’d move on, he has moved on.
The rest of the study session is spent manifesting, writing Park Sunghoon over and over in the back of your notebook. You fill three pages while brainstorming ways to snatch a lock of his hair until he suggests that the two of you call it a day. He walks you home, telling you about how Jake’s been bribing him with food to get a ride to the LEGO store across town for the new Marvel set.
“With or without the meals, I would’ve taken him, but his ramen is my favourite, so..” Sunghoon says, climbing the last step of your building and holding the door open for you. “He even brought a slice of tiramisu to the rink for me after practice.”
“You’re terrible,” you say, frowning up at him as you search for your keys. “Do you want to come in?”
Sunghoon chuckles, shaking his head. “I have a meeting with one of my lecturers soon, I’d have to leave in—” He pauses, rolling up the sleeve of his jacket to check the time. “—eight minutes.”
“I’m cool with that if you are,” you mumble, suddenly shy.
A bright smile spreads over his lips and he nods, following you in.
Chilled by the harsh wind, the only thing on your mind is a hot drink as you lead Sunghoon to the kitchen. He shakes his head when you offer him one, sitting on the countertop and exhaling into his palms before rubbing them together. You can’t help but frown at the sight, feeling guilty that you can’t change the weather to suit him. At your thought process, your brows raise. Wow, you think. Is this who you are?
You busy yourself with the selection of hot drinks you and Chaewon have accumulated, eyeing each container from top to bottom. A purple tub of Cadbury’s hot chocolate that you’re sure is on the brink of expiration, coffee—sachets of the instant stuff you’ve grown to like since leaving home, Earl grey from one of many brands, or the fancy silk tea bags Chaewon’s mum brought home from a trip—rooibos or plum-apple-cinnamon.
Craving something sweet, you settle for hot chocolate, pulling the heavy container from the cupboard next to Sunghoon’s head and setting it beside your cup. He’s on his phone, scrolling too fast to take in anything he’s seeing and he shakes his head when you ask if he wants something to drink.
On the dish rack, Chaewon’s mug catches your eye, so you pick it up to dry it off and put it down next to yours. “I’m going to check if Wonie wants any,” you say, wiping imaginary crumbs from the counter onto the floor.
Sunghoon only clears his throat, shaking his head. “She’s not home, one of her acrylics popped off so she’s at the shop waiting for a cancellation.”
The information itself isn’t jarring but hearing it from Sunghoon is. You put on what you hope is a neutral smile and nod, taking milk from the fridge and assembling your drink on autopilot while thinking of ways to redirect the conversation.
“If you knew you’d have to go back to campus so soon, why’d you walk me home?” you ask, watching your cup spin in the microwave. “I could’ve walked on my own.”
Sunghoon is already looking at you when you turn your head, his cheeks puffed out with air as he blinks slowly. Because I love you, is what you hope he’ll say. You think you need him to say it.
“Because you don’t have to do anything on your own when you have me,” he says instead, and it’s infinitely better.
The words seep through your every fibre, his intonation and lucid affection making a home for themselves in your heart, spreading warmth from head to toe. Your smile becomes a radiant grin, only brightening when he shakes his head, smiling down at his feet.
Sunghoon hugs you in the kitchen when it’s time for him to leave, his arms holding you tight to his chest as he rocks you back and forth. You inhale his scent, all warm citrus under freshly washed cotton and something exclusive to him.
Wiping the smile from your face feels impossible. You don’t let go when he does, and a sweet laugh — a giggle, you think — tumbles out of him as he mumbles that he really has to go. Still, you cling onto him, taking clumsy steps backwards, with your arms locked around his waist, to your front door, smiling as you watch him put his shoes on.
“You don’t have to walk me downstairs, honestly,” he says, looking down at you in the doorway.
“I want to.”
His lips quirk up at the corners, a full smile breaking through and causing your stomach to flutter with so much force you’re sure it’s visible through your shirt. His eyes fall to your lips, lingering, before he clears his throat, looking away.
“I’ll text you when I get to the door, promise.”
You lock your pinky with his. “Send a selfie, just so I know it’s you and not someone else using your phone.”
Sunghoon’s head falls back in a laugh. “Should I just call you? That way you can make sure I get back to uni in one piece.”
You nod.
“That wasn’t anything with Chaewon earlier, I just needed advice on some girl stuff..” He trails off, searching your eyes. It’s obvious that he’s telling the truth, that he wants you to believe him. You do. “I wasn’t sure if that was something I could talk about with you.”
Girl stuff. Hmm. You try not to read too much into it and look at the bigger picture instead—your best friend is going through something and doesn’t feel like he can come to you about it.. You squeeze his pinky reassuringly, a flutter in your stomach when he smiles.
“You can talk to me about anything,” you say, meaning it.
Sunghoon presses his lips together, humming and unlinking your fingers. “Next time,” he says after a beat, waving at you.
You shut the door, locking it while watching through the peephole, he leaves as soon as the lock clicks shut. In the kitchen, your hot chocolate is cooling down, and your phone rings in your back pocket. Sunghoon’s calling.
Hanging out with Sunghoon. Making sure he sticks to the time-blocked schedule you made for him. Quizzing him on biology terms until he gets restless. If the last two weeks were an episode of Family Feud, those would be the top three answers to the question: Name something YN is doing right now.
Thankfully tonight, it’s the first one.
You’ve been sitting on the couch for so long, Jake has both left for football practice and arrived from football practice. Conversation ebbs and flows—an hour or so of nonstop talking, followed by another hour or so of comfortable near silence.
It’s during a quiet hour that Sunghoon sits up straight, clearing his throat before saying, “Let me ask you something. He retreats to the other side of the couch, turning to face you with his whole body. “I don’t want things to be weird after I ask, so no matter what your answer is, I won’t bring it up or ask again.”
Arching a curious brow, you nod. “You can ask me anything,” you say, meaning it.
Sunghoon’s face is impressively blank—minus the motion of sharp teeth worrying plush lip, there’s absolutely nothing behind his eyes that seem to stare right through you.
Eventually, he asks, “Can I kiss you?” He says more. Big, scary words like for closure and moving on, but they don’t register. They don’t matter.
Your heart pounds at the base of your throat as you find interest in your hands that sit in your lap. Even without looking at him, you can’t get over the slight crease he had in his brow and the slight tremor in his hands.
“For closure,” you repeat, though your voice doesn’t sound like it’s coming from you, muffled under the thump of your heart.
Sunghoon nods. “For closure.”
A humourless laugh sneaks past your throat as you look at him. You shouldn’t have. In the lamplight, Sunghoon is golden and glorious. Warm light casts one side of his face, diffusing gently over the steep slope of his nose, highlighting his moles and the look in his eyes, gentle and curious all at once. Unwillingly, your gaze falls to his lips, parted, tempting.
One firm nod of your head brings Sunghoon’s hand to your face, his palm cupping your cheek with soft skin as his thumb traces your cheekbone. You grow anxious under his stare, under the drag of his eyes over your features, taking them one at a time like he’s committing them to memory.
Leaning in, your eyes flutter shut as your lips meet his and he freezes, mouth completely still on yours. Delicately, your tongue traces the seam of his lips, soft and plump, until they part for you, moving with yours. Sunghoon’s kiss is unpolished when it reaches you. It’s hesitant but tender, clumsy but sweet, he’s trying and he’s perfect; your favourite.
The kiss is.. it’s everything. It’s the racing of your heart, the thudding, the vibrant buzz you can hear, feel humming against your ears. It’s a rush of blood to the head, a lightness all over that pulls you out of your body. It’s Sunghoon’s soft lips curving into a smile against yours, his gentle hold on your face never letting up as he holds you as close as he can manage, and it’s every bit as lovely as the rest of him.
Palpable is the heartbeat of your friendship, beating to a lull under the surface of the kiss, fizzling out into nothing, a steady silence, flatlining to give way to something more, something bigger.
Every brush of your lips against his is a revelation, a confession. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, you tell him with your kiss. You’re everything I need. His free hand finds yours, locking your fingers and squeezing, the action timed well enough to make you think he hears you, to make you think he’s saying, we’ll be okay, I still love you.
With that, he pulls away, a delicate tension piercing the air. Blown eyes and laboured breathing—he’s beautiful, fuzzy around the edges with warm orange and all of the love in your heart. Breathless, you chew on your lip, cognisant of Sunghoon’s hand in yours and the sparkle in his eyes as he looks at you.
Belatedly, you squeeze his hand back, smiling. “Was it everything you ever dreamed of?” you whisper, part teasing, all curious.
Abruptly, Sunghoon stands up, letting go of you in the process. “I have to go.”
You want to stop him, you think you’re supposed to. To grab him by the arm and kiss him again, to yell in his face that you love him until he understands. But you don’t. Instead, you stay seated, staring at Sunghoon’s back and following him with your eyes out of the room and down the hall until he’s out of sight.
It’s your first time being so upset after a kiss, and you can’t tell if it’s his leaving or the mention of him moving on that’s tripping you up so much. That’s causing melancholy to crawl from the shadows, sinking its jagged nails into your skin to pull you under.
You love him. He’s gone.
Eyes stuck on the doorway, time stretches over the room around you, thick and malleable, wet and cloying—clay stuck under your nails for days as the fire in the kiln rages on.
Sighing, you get up and wait at his door. You ball your hand into a limp fist, knocking weakly. Sunghoon doesn’t reply. You try again, harder. Still nothing.
Barging into the room, you find him sitting on the end of his bed with his face in his hands.
“Don’t move on.” The words come out before you realise and Sunghoon lifts his head, squinting at you.
“Huh?” He tilts his head, watching closely as you approach him, tipping it back enough to meet your eyes when you stand over him.
You take a breath, holding it until your head starts to spin. “I don’t want you to love someone else, Sunghoon. Please don’t move on.”
The stillness that follows is disconcerting, a long quiet you can feel on your skin, amplifying the blank stare on his face as he looks up at you. His eyes flash, a spark of hope behind them so bright it stings to look at.
“Do you..” He trails off, his lips moving to form the next word though stopping short.
“I do,” you whisper, nodding. “I’m sorry for taking so long.”
An exhaled laugh comes from his nose as he grins, shaking his head. “You like me?” he asks, excitement and disbelief fighting for authority over his voice, his hands holding your waist and pulling you down into his lap.
“I love you,” you admit, settling on his thighs.
“You do?” His eyes are wide and gleaming, searching every feature on your face before settling on your own.
You nod. “So much.”
Sunghoon’s chin tips up, his lips pressing against yours, excited pecks that can’t turn into much more for the smiles on your faces. You rest your arms on his shoulders, hands clasping behind his head, nervous fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.
“So.. will you be my boyfriend? For real?”
Tilting his head, he tries and fails to fight a smile. “I will. I’m a little bummed though.”
“Why?” You raise a brow, and the word tips up at the end with it.
“I wanted to be the one to ask you.” Sunghoon’s honesty warms the room, endearing you completely.
You grin, loving the heat spreading over your cheeks. “Ask me anyway.”
“Please can I be your boyfriend?”
In the weeks that followed, it became immediately clear that boyfriend Sunghoon operated on a pendulum swinging between sexual ferality and terror. He’d get distracted during study sessions at home, finding more interest in biting at your neck than stream-of-consciousness prose, but closed his eyes if a sex scene came on TV. He’d buck his hips against yours while making out but flinch at the sight of condoms in the store.
He wasn’t ready to have sex and didn’t know how to tell you, so you took matters into your own hands, asking if you could wait until after his results for resubmission came in, saying you didn’t want the distraction for either of you. Sunghoon agreed, pecking your cheek and holding you tight to his chest.
The only thing was that your lecturer hadn’t given him an exact date, so every morning, you held your phone in a vice grip waiting for Sunghoon to update you, and every morning, you got the same text: Nothing today, baby ☹️
This morning, you’re brushing your teeth when he texts you, in all caps: NO FUCKING WAY I GOT A 98 !!! LOOK !!!
When the picture comes through, it’s of him in the mirror and you choke on mouthwash at the sight. He’s smiling, bright and beautiful, in a black vest that he’s holding up a little to show his stomach, though his palm is in the way of his toned abs, and it cuts off right at the top of his grey sweatpants.
Your mouth goes dry as you click on it, fixating on every little detail you can find: the thickness of his fingers against his phone, the dip in his collarbones, the breadth of his shoulders and the cinch of his waist. In a fit of desperation, you try swiping at the bottom of your screen, willing the picture to magically extend. It doesn’t.
hoonie: Finger slipped.. You like?
you: mm..
you: 98??? HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT YOU!!!
hoonie: All you.. do you like the picture?
you: i love it………….
hoonie: My girl 🤍
Another picture comes in, and sure enough, through the glare of his laptop screen, you see: Course name: The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway. Marks Awarded: 98.0.
you: well done baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hoonie: Thx 😁
hoonie: Can I have my prize now ha ha .. haha 😈
you: just for that emoji, no you absolutely cannot.
Your resolve isn’t strong enough when it comes to Sunghoon, because purple devil emoji and all, you show up at his door with condoms in your bag and a bouquet of lilies behind your back.
The door creaks open and Sunghoon greets you with a grin. “Hey, gorgeous. You proud of me?”
You beam at him, holding out the flowers. “I’m very proud, Hoon, well done.”
“I don’t want to ruin the moment,” he starts, taking the bouquet from your hands and sniffing the flowers with an approving smile. “But hearing you say you’re proud of me is awakening something I didn’t know existed.”
“A good something?”
“Mm,” he hums, arms finding your waist before he pecks your lips. “A very good something.”
Sunghoon’s words hit your lips and your core, a desperate heat flooding your stomach as he kisses you deeply, his body pressed tightly against yours while he pulls you into his apartment. He kicks the door shut with his foot, slipping his hand under your jacket to settle in your back pocket, not quite squeezing but holding your ass as gently as he can manage.
He breaks away from you, love in his eyes as he stares down into yours, catching his breath. “I don’t think we own a vase.”
In his kitchen, you rifle through cupboards to find something to hold the flowers, eventually finding a whiskey decanter in the cupboard under the sink, and holding it up for Sunghoon to see.
“Oh, yeah,” he says. “It’s Jay’s. It’ll work right?”
You nod, taking it to the sink to rinse it. Sunghoon wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder watching you fill the decanter with water and flower food before grabbing the bouquet. He presses open-mouthed kisses to your neck and you struggle to stay focused as you cut down the stems on the flowers, arranging them neatly.
“Can I take a photo?” he asks when you’re done.
He’s smiling when you turn around to look at him, a soft curve of his lips that makes your heart race, a deep tenderness in his eyes when you meet them. You smile too.
“They’re yours, baby, do whatever you want.”
“A photo of you with the flowers,” he clarifies.
Warmth settles in your chest, a grin spreading over your lips from ear to ear. You nod, taking the decanter in your hands when he lets go of you, holding the flowers up beside your face and smiling for his camera. As his phone shutter clicks away, you steal glances at his face behind it. He’s watching the screen with a smile, telling you how beautiful you are.
“I want pictures of you too,” you say, handing the flowers over.
“I’m yours, baby, do whatever you want.”
Sunghoon poses for your photos, smiling sweetly in some and sniffing the bouquet appreciatively with closed eyes for others. He’s glowing and he’s beautiful and your heart triples in size while taking picture after picture until your phone tells you it has ten percent.
“Thank you, YN,” he says. “I’ve never gotten flowers before, I love them.” His arms settle around your waist, lips pressing against yours before you have the chance to respond.
You try anyway, mumbling against his lips that you love him. In response, Sunghoon grins, but the feeling of his cock growing hard against you is distracting, a lust-coated thorn in the side of the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. With locked lips and uncertain steps, the two of you bump into corners and trip over your own feet, stumbling to his room and parting only to tear his hoodie over his head.
Breathless, you pull away, eyes trailing over him and picking up on everything, from the tremble in his hands to the lust-addled worry in his eyes. He’s nervous, you think—though it escapes you, the last word coming out like a question.
Sunghoon scoffs, his hands resting on your waist under your shirt, skin clammy against yours. “Of course, I’m nervous.”
“You don’t have to be.”
“I just want to be good for you.”
“Don’t worry about that, let me take care of you, Hoon.” Your palms drag up his torso — firm abs through soft cotton, defined chest over racing heart — to rest on his shoulders. “Sit,” you say when he nods.
He gulps, taking a seat on the end of his bed under your gentle push, eyes widening when you sink to your knees between his legs and reach for his drawstring, pulling the ends to untie the knot.
“Wait,” Sunghoon says, breathless, scrunching up his face and dropping his head. “Let me calm down, baby. At this rate, I’ll come just seeing your hand on it.”
You giggle, resting your head on his thigh and wrapping the drawstring around your finger.
“I’m serious, YN,” he mumbles, laughing as he takes his vest off. “I need a minute.”
Sunghoon’s eyes are pressed shut as he tries to collect himself, lips pouty and kiss-bitten, slightly parted with ragged breaths slipping out. You wait patiently for him. He’s so pretty like this, with the crease in his brow and the pretty pink flush dusting his cheeks as his chest rises and falls. You can’t help but smile, leaning into his touch when his hand rests on top of your head, his blunt nails grazing your scalp. After a while, he seems more at ease, his eyes finding yours and he smiles shyly, telling you he’s ready now and lifting his hips from the bed to let you pull his sweats and underwear down.
Free from the constraints of fabric, his cock slaps his stomach with a wet sound as the tip meets his skin, leaving a pearlescent streak over his abs. The sight makes your mouth water and you can’t look away. “Pretty,” you whisper.
Wrapping a hand under his tip, you swipe it with your thumb, taking time to memorise the flutter of his eyelids, the bobbing of his Adam’s apple, and the soft sigh he lets out. You stroke him slowly, liking the way his breath picks up as his brows knit together before you take him in your mouth. It’s a tight fit but you do your best, spurred on by the way he tugs at your hair and stutters through a holy fuck as you take as much of him as you can.
Sunghoon goes silent, only squirming when you use your hand to stroke him near his base. Self-conscious about his lack of vocal affirmation, you look up at him through your lashes, and the pure bliss on his face is unbearably attractive. His eyes are rolled back under furrowed brows, his mouth hanging open as he throws his head back.
“Am I doing okay?” you ask, using the moment to catch your breath.
He nods, inhaling shakily and screwing his eyes shut while his hips buck up into your fist. “I’m.. You’re doing such a good job, baby, so good.”
Satisfaction courses through you from the praise, a high that dulls the ache in your jaw. Still watching him, you massage his balls in your palm, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his tip when he whines. You tongue at his slit until he thrusts back into your mouth, tip hitting your throat, and he gasps when you gag, his arm coming up to cover his eyes. A belated apology slips from his lips, mumbled as he strokes your hair with a shaking hand and goes quiet again. When you speed up, his breath stutters, the muscles in his thighs contracting around your head as you suck and lick and drool on his cock.
A moan of your name, and his hand holding your hand down, are the only warnings you get before Sunghoon comes, spilling his load right down your throat. Whining, his hips buck up against your face, pushing further and further until he falls back onto the mattress.
Your throat is hoarse and aches while you use the back of your hand to wipe at your lips, enjoying what’s left of his taste on your tongue. Deep red tints his neck and chest, a pretty flush gleaming under the sheen of sweat on his skin. He’s mesmerising, as he tries for air through swollen lips and looks up at you through squinted eyes. He reaches for you, cute grabby hands tugging your shirt and pulling you down so you’re lying next to him with your head on his chest.
“You’re amazing, baby, so good for me,” Sunghoon whispers, eyes fluttering shut as you drag your nails over his torso, feeling the subtle heave of the slick, sculpted muscle over his stomach and chest.
Pride heats your chest, satisfaction rolling over you like a wave. “Really?”
He hums in affirmation, nodding his head.
“You were so quiet, I couldn’t really tell,” you add, hungry for more praise.
“The walls are so thin in here, I just got used to being quiet,” Sunghoon says, frowning. Hand meeting your chin, he tips your head up towards him, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and mumbling, “I’m sorry. You were perfect, I swear.”
It’s a sweet kiss. Until lips move harder and hands get lower, desperate as he thumbs the top of your leggings, palm unmoving but a dangerous heat blooms in your stomach anyway.
“Can I..” Sunghoon pinches you softly through the material, unsure eyes boring deep into yours.
You nod. “You can.”
Slipping under your waistband, his fingers skate across your skin dipping between your thighs. He grazes your slit, satisfaction clear in the groan he lets out as he feels the wetness there, pulling it over the length of your slit to cover your clit. Your breath hitches, a strangled gasp, pleasure and surprise meeting in your throat under the pressure of his thumb on your clit, the gentle sting of his finger pushing into you.
What Sunghoon lacks in experience, he makes up for with the sheer length and thickness of his fingers. It’s almost jarring, it’s enough to force your eyes closed and bring a sigh rumbling out of you, ache and relief settling between your legs, where he curls a finger against your walls and drags slow circles over your clit.
“Can you take these off, baby?” he asks, hand away to touch your leggings.
You don’t waste a second, sitting up to pull them off, throwing them and your underwear across the room. Sunghoon licks his lips, tugging at the hem of your shirt.
“And this? If you want..”
You nod, pulling it off immediately to let it join the rest of your clothes in a heap on the floor. The way he gulps is a confidence boost, his dilated pupils taking in every inch of your body, though his gaze always pulls back to your bra—white and lacy, thin enough for your nipples to push through the fabric and Sunghoon can’t seem to get enough, though he waits until you’re lying down again to touch you.
Sunghoon props himself up on his elbow, leaning over you. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers, dragging a finger over the lace at the top of your bra, toying with the material and the little bow sitting between your breasts. His eyes flick up to meet yours. “So beautiful,” he repeats.
Hiding your face in his chest, you mumble, “Thank you,” into his skin while trying to ignore the heat spreading over your body wherever he touches you. His hand trails from your arm to your waist, resting on your hips to slip over your ass for a beat, where he grabs and squeezes the flesh there before coming back around to slot between your legs—you lift one of them, resting it over his body, and he’s smiling sweetly when you look up at him.
Sunghoon’s movements are unchanging, though the sensation is heightened by the unbridled desire in his lidded eyes that urges white heat to lick over every inch of your skin—this time he pushes two fingers into you.
It doesn’t get better than this, you think. But it does, quickly.
Leaning over you, his eyes flick across your face, one feature at a time as he chews on his lip. Reaching up, you push some of his hair from his face, holding it back and saying, “Relax, baby.”
“Don’t want to hurt you.”
Moving your hand, you blink when his hair flops back over his forehead, tickling your eyelashes. His eyes are focused now, staring straight down into yours, want and worry flashing behind them.
“You won’t, I promise,” you say, locking your pinky with his, feeling relieved when he smiles.
Sunghoon pushes in slowly, his name slipping from your lips when he exhales shakily, head falling forward. The sting, the pleasure, make it hard to breathe, molten desire taking hold of your lungs as he carves out a place for himself as far as you’ll take him, all the way to the hilt as slow as he can manage.
A moan tears out of him, lewd and whiny as his hair tickles your collarbone, head falling into the crook of your neck. His skin is hot and damp against yours, his breath burning your shoulder as he tries to calm down. It’s difficult to register much else, tethered only by the sound of his voice when he asks, “Am I hurting you?”
“Hoon,” you whisper.
“Can you look at me, baby?” He lifts his head, resting a hand on your cheek. You blink your eyes open, gaze locking with his, where concern pushes through his desire. “Am I hurting you?” he asks again. “Are you okay?”
You nod. “I’m okay, just..” You sigh. “Full. Need a minute.”
Sunghoon kisses you, lips moving gently with yours, passing breathy whines between your mouths until you feel yourself relaxing. Pulling his plush bottom lip between yours, you suck on it, nodding. “Want you to move, baby,” you mumble.
He scans your face, eyes meeting yours as he pulls his hips back. He’s slow, so slow with his thrusts that your belly turns with want, your fingernails sink into the taut skin of his back, and jagged sobs fall out of you with each drag of his cock along your walls.
Everywhere his skin touches yours is set ablaze with scorching heat, goosebumps pushing past the surface as his breath fans your neck and his sharp teeth graze your skin. He bites hard enough to sting, and you wince as his tongue flicks over your bitten flesh to soothe you.
You were so worked up earlier, writhing against the sheets and coming undone in his palm, so bliss quickly pushes through the ache between your legs. “Good, Hoon, feels so good,” you manage, struggling to convey how perfect it is.
“Just want to make you feel good.” His words melt into each other, vowels soft and elongated as they curl around each other. He’s working up a steady rhythm, his tip consistently nudging you where you need it—the spot that makes the room blur around you. “That’s all I want.”
Before long, the knot in your stomach pulls you up from the mattress, arching your back towards the ceiling. Mouth to mouth, chest to chest—it’s the closest you’ve ever felt to someone else, the closest you’ve ever been. The thought alone knocks the wind out of you, and his persistent whining does nothing to help.
Your want and adoration for Sunghoon run bone-deep, inching up your spine and creeping over your shoulders, intertwined with an all-consuming pleasure that turns the heat in your stomach molten as a shudder zips through you. Even though you can’t find the words to let him know, he lifts your hips from the bed to fuck you deeper, harder, into the mattress until shaky orgasms pull both of you under.
You let him fall into you, fingers curling around his hair, whispering I love you into the skin of his neck as he comes, most of his weight on top of you while you catch your breath, relishing in the fullness you feel as the last waves of your high pull back. You stay like this for as long as he needs, his head coming up from the crook of your neck to smile at you before pressing his lips to yours. A sleepy haze fills the room around you, tongue swiping tongue as you giggle happily into his mouth.
After a while, he gets up, tying the condom to throw it away and comes back with his shirt. He uses it to clean up—gentle between your legs, pressing kisses to your calves while he does. Sunghoon’s tenderness wraps around your heart, and love clouds your vision, forming a blurry trail that follows all of his movements, glowing like something from a dream, ethereal, an apparition.
The bed dips beside you, his arms around you, pulling you in so his chin rests on your head. You push your cheek into his chest, hoping the two of you will meld into one—the thought makes you warm all over, a fuzziness that reaches every part of your body while he presses kisses into your hair, rubbing your back.
“I love you,” he says, voice as soft as the rest of him. “I’m glad I exist.”
mama park: Hi lovely 😍 missing you lots, wondering when you’ll be home for Xmas………..love ma
Sunghoon stirs, nose scrunching as he snores softly into the quiet of a winter morning. His chest rises and falls steadily under your head and he doesn’t move when you sit up. The lamp on his desk is still on — neither of you could be bothered getting up to turn it off last night — and under its dim glow, you admire him. Perfect lips gently curved—long lashes kissing the skin under his eyes.
Love hits you from all angles, warmth all over from head to toe despite the chill in Sunghoon’s room. You can’t help but grin, leaning up to nose along the underside of his chin, his natural scent so soft yet dizzying as you nuzzle into him. He stirs again, turning his head this way and that before resting, you feel a bit bad, deciding to leave him be and text his mum back.
you: hi mum !!! missing you sooooooo much :((( will be home asap
mama park: BTW Sunghoon told me everything. I raised such good actors LOL make sure he looks after you and keeps you happy!
you: i’m so sorry we lied to you..
you: but i’m really happy with him and he loves me a lot
you: i love him so much .. never been so sure of anyone in my life
© zreamy (2023), all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or plagiarise my work. do let my know your thoughts !
permanent taglist: @asahicore
The Pleasure Principal
Masterlist
Pairing: Park Sunghoon x fem reader
Genre: smau, college au, humor, suggestive, slight angst, strangers to lovers, smut
Warnings: will vary for each chapter
Summary: In which Sunghoon gets tutored on how to please a girl after a nasty rumor about him spreads. Alternatively, in which you're so desperate to get a good grade, you agree to help a friend with his questionable request unaware of exactly how much work you'd have on your plate.
The following content is a work of fiction that in no way is meant to represent the idol's actual behavior, and it is written purely for entertainment purposes.
Please do not keep reading if you are a minor or are uncomfortable with any of these things.
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Started: 09/13/2023
Status: ongoing
0- Profiles
1- We're not prostitutes
2- pimped out by Heeseung?
3- Just act normal ig
4- you learned from"p*rn"
5- Heeseung hyung has spidey-senses
6- "fix the fuckboy" project
7- "myriad" ? 💀
8- so YOU'RE the actual day hooker
9- The camera loves me
10- respect to fictional bros 👏
11- You love me 😍
12- Scout's honor 🤚
13- "Need sex advice" MY ASS
14- "They look... pretty"
15- Baby ☹️
16- A poll 💀
17- I'm fluent in Hoonish 😌
18- oh look a bird! 🐦
19- HE HAS A BROTHER?
20- I thought you had no game
21- Dude, is your girlfriend single?
22- I will actually hunt him down 🙃
23- that should be me 😭
24- Friendship survived 💪
25- I hate it here
26- do better.
27- ...fuck you? but unfuck you??
28- dead people shit
More to come...
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Series taglist: Open! (Send an ask or comment to be added/removed. Age must be displayed on your profile!)
Permanent taglist: @brownsugarbaybee @wntrnghts
Banner credits: @wntrnghts
I do not consent to the translation, publication on other platforms, editing, or use of my writing for purposes other than personal reading!!!
© moonlighthoon on tumblr, do not plagiarize.
SCARLET LETTER
in which park sunghoon has to stay in his childhood crush's apartment, one who just so happened to have the same nails as his favourite camgirl- the ones that he requested. at first, sunghoon had no problem keeping his recent epiphany to himself but as fast as the secrets came spilling out, opportunities came rolling in. and so they made a deal. yn, also known as scarlett, would teach sunghoon everything she knew about how to pleasure a woman, but in return? she’d get to stream it all.
PAIRING ⮕ virgin!sunghoon x camgirl!reader
WARNINGS + GENRE + TROPES ⮕ smau, smut, best friends brother, jealousy, on screen corruption, richboy!sunghoon, he fell first and harder, each chapter will have their individual warnings.
STARTED ⮕ august 27, 2024 | ENDED ⮕ ???
TAGLIST ⮕ OPEN! comment to be added
FEAT ⮕ ningning [aespa], chaein [purple kiss], jinyoung [ex!cix], hyunsuk [cix], xinyu [tripleS], sungchan [riize].
PROFILES
| one : scarlett’s secret
| two : manifestihoon
| three : the cam models
CHAPTERS
| one : rose quartz
| two : too bad these are just dreams:(
| three : i taste even sweeter | smut + written
| four : new set
| five : and i thought i was special?
| six : you want to mark me up? | smut
| seven : i wish you were here | smut + written
tba + titles are subject to change !!
can i be added to the taglist!! 🫶🎀
best part — 西村力. official masterlist!
© wonria — in which nishimura riki makes the decision to start attending university amidst his busy schedule, and soon realizes that it was the best decision he’d ever made, all thanks to you.
pairing idol!riki x fem!reader genre strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, angst, crack warnings profanity, arguments, mentions of underage drinking (not riki!!), slowwwburn
started: 08/30/2024 completed: tba
teaser — damn you, yang jungwon!
01. hypen people?
02. a first day to remember
03. sweets
extra — the group chat
04. a little white lie
more tba…
note first post on this account ^.^ reblogs are much appreciated!!
taglist is open! @sakiimeo @tinytan-gerine @riksboo @yangjungwonnie @heartheejake @lanapaz @heartsforjw @yourmyst4r @riksaes ( bold couldn’t be tagged! )
AAHHHH I AM NOT OKAY!!! THIS IS SO CUTE!!!
always japan — best friends to lovers, eventual timeskip
synposis. the three times nishimura riki was your best friend, and the one time he was more (4.2k words)
note. this is for @kflixnet’s lights camera action event! btw pretend they all go to school in japan !!
warning. getting hit by a ball
EVERYTHING ABOUT NISHIMURA RIKI WAS ALWAYS GO GO GO. His life is chock full of energy and activities, he can barely remember any of them. He doesn’t have the time to stay put in one spot, he doesn’t have time to sit down and recharge - he’s always running and running and barely remembering anything in his calendar. But somehow, amidst the mess he calls his life, the one thing he’s always able to recall is going to your house every Friday night.
He never misses it - no matter how tough school was, no matter how long practice keeps them, no matter how tired he is - he’s always at your house on Friday night, and everyone knows this.
Common questions have definitely flown by in the familiar words of: “where’s Riki? Aren’t we all getting dinner together?” or “Why did Riki run out of the studio so quickly?” and Sunoo and Jungwon would always answer in unison - “At _____’s.” accompanied by knowing looks.
Which explains why Nishimura Riki’s busy bumbling self is seated beside you, eating dinner, conversation swayed by your common hatred for school and love for your mother’s cooking. Mid-conversation, you find Riki sneakily trying to steal food off of your plate which elicits you to smack his hand away, mouth full as you shoot him a playful glare.
“I’ll stop stealing your food if you tell me how amazing I am.” His face is lit up with joy as usual, pink dusting his cheeks as he sends you his signature smile, and you can’t help but smile fondly at the boy seated next to you, especially with his cheeks puffed up with food and his grin reaching his eyes.
You snap back to reality when he, yet again, tries to steal pieces of your food which earns him yet another lovely smack and a teasing poke of your tongue. When you schooch away playfully, he’s moving his chair at the same pace - if not, closer to you than he was before.
He’s mocking you, imitating your actions from earlier but there’s a smile tugging on his lips and you couldn’t help but smile right back at him, heart full of comfort and warmth, that you don’t realize Riki looking at you as if you put the sun and stars in the sky, as if you were the butterflies in his stomach whenever he was with you.
The sweet moment is cut short when Riki slides an arm around you mid-conversation. You glance at his arm suspiciously before moving to narrow your eyes at him, his smile is mischievous and he’s shrugging to try and hide the laugh that’s threatening to leave his lips.
You’re about to ask him why the hell he was trying to coddle you while the two of you were eating when his hand makes contact with your cheek, and you immediately recognize it as the familiar texture of icing from the cake the two of you bought on your way home.
Your mouth falls open, and in response, you’re quick to fill your utensils up with food from your plate before you’re tossing it at his face, smiling triumphantly. He doesn’t let your victory linger on for too long before he’s smearing more of his food on your face.
He’s trying to hold back his laughter, really trying, but when you grumpily throw some more beans his way, he can’t help but laugh - and it felt so good to be laughing with someone, instead of being laughed at, sometimes he forgets he’s only human and he’s not immune to pain. Then again, he smiles so much and he’s always so giving that it’s easy to convince anyone he’s not bothered by nearly anything.
The smug look on his face doesn’t help the infatuation that’s building up from your stomach, but you’re quick to try and let it sink, preferring for it to remain as pits of debris before you can truly figure out your feelings. You’d often find yourself weighing the options of confessing, but the thought of losing the one person that made you feel so alive was too much of a risk.
Unbeknownst to you, Riki’s been stuck dealing with those thoughts too.
You try to flick your left-over food towards him but he’s quick to grip your wrist, and he’s sticking his tongue out at you at your attempt to even the game, and when he reaches out to smear sauce all over your face, you’re demanding for a truce.
“Tell me I’m the greatest, most funniest and handsome person you’ve ever met and then I’ll consider it.” His tone is playful and he’s giving you a devilish look that you choose to be apathetic at how he’d been redundant on most funniest. His smile was too wide - and while you know it’s not a hard task to say those words because they’re true, the thought of getting a rise from your best friend is much more worth it.
“I don’t know… I don’t think Jungwon would appreciate me handing the title to someone else.” The look of betrayal that crosses his face sends you into immediate laughter, and he’s deflating like a lost puppy. “My two best friends cannot be plotting against me, besides I thought I was your number one! We’ll travel the world together someday, you know.”
You take his face in your hands and the soft smile you’re giving him is enough for the bursts of energy to come back and in no time, he’s exaggerating his pout to try and get you to take back your words. “You are the greatest, most funniest…” He’s waiting for you to continue, a triumphant grin hidden behind his faux expression of upsetness, but he’s too caught up in the way your face is inches apart from one another that he doesn’t notice your hand deviating from his cheek to take a hand full of icing, and just when he’s about to tell you to keep going, he’s met with a hand full of cream, and the gasp he lets out sounds like pure and utter betrayal.
Before he can counter attack, the familiar voice of your mother cuts through the chaos, and he’s mouthing “this isn’t over” at you while he’s cleaning up the table so it isn’t much of a hassle for your mother. He knows not to worry from the hint of laughter in your mother’s tone.
Years of friendship has gotten her accustomed to you and Riki’s antics, so she simply tells the both of you to clean up as she takes your plates from the tables so she could start washing up. “Sorry!” Riki’s grin is cheeky, and your mom is quick to tell him it’s alright - besides, she’s never seen her child as happy as you are when you’re with him, and Riki has grown to be a significant part of your family as he’d practically been stuck to your hip since childhood.
When your mom finishes up the small talk, you and Riki face each other to look at the damage you both had done, and god, the two of you looked so ridiculous that you’re hurling towards each other in laughter, tears almost leaving your eyes as you try and pant for air.
After the hefty task of cleaning up, you’re both making your way up to your room and in no time, Riki’s sprawled on your couch, bag of stolen snacks from your kitchen in his hands (despite just eating dinner), his legs tangling within yours as he makes grand gestures with his hands to tell you what happened in his day, topics he wasn’t able to gloss over during dinner (he claims the hand gestures help him explain better, not that you don’t already know, but you allow him to tell you again if it meant he’d keep smiling like that).
The movie playing is long forgotten and deemed as background noise as the two of you continue to chat about your days. The moment you yawn, Riki is grabbing onto your hand and pulling you towards his side.
You’re trying to ignore the familiar feeling of butterflies swaying from your stomach towards your heart, because you’re best friends, you’ve cuddled more times than you can count - but that doesn’t mean it’s any easier to ignore the bubbling yearning that’s screaming in your system. The fact that he’s never this fond of physical touch with anyone else is another blow to your already fragile heart.
His lips part just enough for a comfortable sigh to leave his lips, and he’s tucking his head under your chin, hands resting under your shirt and on normal days, you’d complain about how cold they were, but you today - you can’t seem to push away the peaceful looking boy.
His eyes, glinting with the light of your lamp, trail over the collection of photos on your wall and he finds himself smiling at the polaroid from when you two were kids; he’s pulling a silly face at the camera and you’re standing beside him giving your brightest smile. The photo beside it is when you two had just graduated from middle school, and he’s hugging you so tightly. The sight of you reminds him it’s okay to stop running for a while.
He lets his eyes lock onto yours just in time to see you drift into a peaceful slumber. With him, it was always colors and food fights and brightness and gentle hugs and safety.
-
NISHIMURA RIKI HAS A KNACK FOR TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU whenever you were around to watch their practice, and his friends liked to make fun of him for it. He didn’t mind though - somehow the sound of your laughter made up for the embarrassment he felt.
They wonder how you hadn’t caught on to Riki’s feelings, but then again, your friends wonder the same thing about him.
When you finished your club, you still had about 20 minutes before Riki would end practice, which prompted a few of your friends to walk with you whilst you made your way towards the studio to observe the remainder of Riki’s practice.
“I know he finds you cute, so has he tried confessing to you?”
“You find him cute too, it’s only fair. When will he make a move?”
You wave them off, laughing nervously as you shrug your shoulders. “We’re just best friends.”
“And you really expect us to believe that?” Their eyebrows are perked up and they’re looking at you with so much conviction you’re convinced they’ve figured out that you’re madly in love with him, but before they could say anything else, you excuse yourself to get inside the dance practice studio.
Your friends leave you to your own devices, and you can hear one last “you’re whipped!” before they make their way out of the campus and start their trek towards the comfort of their own homes.
The moment Riki’s eyes meet yours, an extra surge of excitement fills him and his face is completely lit up. And for what seemed like forever, the only words that really left his mouth while he was practicing were calls of your name. You didn’t really mind, then again, you did find it quite admirable - especially with the way he’d look at you every single time he’d perfect a move - especially with the way his grin would grow tenfold when you send him a small thumbs up and a smile to indicate that you did, infact, see his dancing.
You remain seated on the floor while they finish up practicing, and chaos is spilling from the studio. Sunoo and Sunghoon are arguing over something that only they could understand - Jake and Heeseung are excitedly trying to talk to each other between desperate gasps for air as practice had taken much of the breath they needed.
All of this, you didn’t mind. In fact, in a way, this had become a place of comfort, and you found serenity within the sound of pure and utter mess and the boys who you had become really close friends with. How could you not? Riki would babble about you, even when you weren’t there. Admittedly, his friends had told you they had known almost everything about you before even getting the chance to meet you.
And aside from the overbearing boys who’d grown protective of you over the course of knowing you, there was just a certain stillness to the air that allowed for you to breathe, that allowed you to sneak in an unforced smile - most especially your best friend who was excitedly waving at you from his spot on the studio.
In this studio, with Riki glancing at you everytime he’s at the center, there is no forced smile. There is no burden in your head. There is only your best friend smiling brightly at you. There is only the sound of the footwork. There is only peace.
Or at least you thought, before you’re struck in the head with the football they were utilizing for their choreography and the wooden floor makes contact with your butt. You’re too shocked to say anything and there's a quiet ringing in your ears, almost like static, which didn’t allow for you to notice Riki’s panicked look.
There’s childish shrieks and multiple footsteps heading your way, frantic apologises from - Jake? You can’t quite tell because Riki’s striking voice is cutting through their murmurs and mutters and he’s asking if you’re okay. Your face is in his hands and his eyes are searching yours.
The nod of your head is meek, but it’s enough for him to start trying to assess the damage, even going as far as asking Jungwon for help even though the ball never really did cause major harm, and everyone could see that. Everyone except Riki whose worry just kept growing and growing. His voice is laced with so much concern that you’re starting to second guess whether you were really okay even though you were totally positive that you were not injured at all. He was just speaking with so much care that you’re starting to believe that maybe he was right, maybe you were injured.
He doesn’t let go of you after that, excusing himself from practice so that you could begin your trek home earlier than usual.
“Still don’t want to admit I’m the greatest, most funniest handsome person you’ve ever met?”
That day, you were introduced to the sight of a really concerned Riki, different from all the times he’d been concerned about you. It was different to when you scraped your knee at age eleven, or when he chased away that boy trying to hit on you at age fourteen. This time, his features were laced with something else, something you couldn’t quite place yet and you’re only reassured over and over again of how much he really cares about you.
-
NISHIMURA RIKI LIKES TO DO EVERYTHING HE’S TOLD NOT TO which is why the two of you are currently running away from your seething teacher. You’re flowing with so much adrenaline, and you’re slowly starting to lose feeling of your legs from the distance you’ve managed to run, but Riki’s hand in yours is enough to keep your legs moving, unceasing.
You’re reminded that your best friend is never afraid of anything - he’s always able to break you out of your shell and allow for you to live a little. He keeps you grounded with his hand-me-down clothes and messy hair making you trinquets you never asked for.
It was a harmless prank, really. The bucket of whipped cream was originally supposed to fall on the head of one of your school bullies, but instead, it had fallen on your teacher. That didn’t make it less of an enjoyable sight though, which sent the two of you racing through the hallways of Belift High, trying to avoid suffering the inevitable consequences of your actions.
You’re tightly holding onto each other’s hand, sprinting the distance of the school. “This way.” He’s tugging at your hand, pulling you around the corner before shoving you inside the janitor’s closet, your desperate pants being the only sound within the close space of the room. Your knees are grazing each other and you’re both trying to peek out of the door to see if you’re close to being caught.
Your heart is beating erratically in your chest, with his rhythm dancing a similar beat against yours. His lips are drawn in a wide smile, sweat dripping down his forehead as he breathes heavily.
“Doesn’t it feel good to just live? And if anything goes south, don’t worry. I’ll take the fall! I’m just glad you’re here with me.” He’s grinning brightly at you, thumbs pointing to himself with a smirk slowly starting to replace the bright smile that was gracing his pretty features.
Before you can respond, you see the familiar head of hair pass by the closet the two of you were cramped in. By instinct, you reach out to cover his mouth. You continue to look outside the door, and he follows suit because you two did not just bolt through the entire distance of the school just to be caught that quickly. And the two of you do a good job at keeping quiet for a while, but the moment your eyes meet, you burst out into a hysterical laughter.
He’s gripping your shoulders and you're gripping his arms, and your sides are hurting so much from laughing. The image of you alone, of you cackling to yourself, not aware of how enchanting you look or how beautiful you sound is the purest definition of heaven to Riki.
Time slowed, and stilled. It was just the two of you in the empty, sun-lit room.
And maybe it was the thrill of getting caught, or the spur of the moment, or the fact that if you moved a few inches, your lips would finally be able to meet with his (the way you’ve dreamed of) but you found yourself happy. Truly, completely happy to be in this moment - with your best friend whose eyes are shining like a thousand stars and whose voice dripped with the personification of freedom. He is what it feels like to be free, to be seen, to be heard in a world of constant noise.
In that closet, you finally feel alive, you finally feel unrestrained - loose. With him, you feel the most human.
-
THE MOMENT YOU GRADUATED, THE TWO OF YOU WERE QUICK TO take on the world together - the way you had been planning to at the age of fourteen. Your parents knew the two of you were ambitious and very capable, and they knew that whatever the two of you currently have is good and this was what the two of you needed. For what reason? They don’t know just yet.
Your parents think that maybe along the way, it’ll help the two of you finally realize how in love you are with each other in the way they’ve always known since the two of you dressed up in some dumb matching costumes at nine, smiling brightly at the camera with Riki pulling the silliest face he could muster to get you to laugh.
You’re cramped with goodbyes and hugs before the two of you step on a plane and start feeling like humans again. No longer trapped, no longer caged - though it never really did feel that way when you were with Riki.
And your plan followed.
It’s travelling the remains of Japan you two weren’t able to see before going to Italy and to Germany then back to Japan. Australia and Philippines to Canada and Japan again.
The two of you go fishing, and you breathe against each other’s back as the two of you rest after one of the longest hikes up a mountain just to see the sunset. There’s skydiving and deep sea diving to see the fishes and admire the corals. There’s impromptu car rides that lead you to nowhere and everywhere all at once. There’s dancing to the sound of musicians playing on the street.
Brazil to New Zealand to Switzerland and still Japan. Korea, China, Thailand, Japan. Vietnam, Hong Kong, Japan. Spain, Russia, Singapore, Rome, Egypt and Japan all over again.
It’s visiting museums, learning about the history of each country you visit and then you’re off to the oceans and forests and all the beautiful sights you could possibly see. There’s leaping over fences and gates and falling asleep on each other on plane rides. There’s hand holding and secret glances and gentle smiles, and within all of this, you two always end up back in Japan.
It was always Japan no matter where the two of you reached. And maybe it was because that was the place the two of you met each other, the place where the two of you grew up in, the place where the two of you realized you had feelings in, the place that brought back so many memories that complimented all the new memories you were making. Maybe it was because of the countless times you and he had tried to confess under the shining lights of Tokyo that always led you back there.
So you continue traveling and traveling, but it always comes back to Japan. Always Japan.
And as luck would have it, you found yourselves back.
It was a quiet night, the two of you sat in silence, gazing at Belift High where you shared almost everything in. That was where you saw him cry for the first time, where you finally allowed yourself to be vulnerable around him, where you had your first fight when he got suspended, where the two of you made up and sobbed in each other’s arms, where he and his friends won a national dance contest and he spent the whole night celebrating at your house, where he defended you from everyone, and where you defended him right back. Belift High was where you leaped into his arms over little victories, and took him in yours over all the losses.
Normally, at night, you’d noticed it was bathed in a kind of glow from the lights dotted around the building. It had always looked like that from all the times you’d walked home late after waiting for Riki to finish practice. But tonight, under a full moon, it seemed flooded in an ethereal brightness.
So there you two are, in the dark, with the thousands of stars and the infinite sky, with his hand in yours and your head on his shoulders and him smiling and your heart bursting with something you couldn’t quite identify.
He risks a glance at you, and it’s enough to have him double take the decisions he was currently making in his head. Riki has always been the type to say yes before thinking about it, and he hated having to wait. Yearning for you over all those years has brought him into a state of frustration because he knew he had so much to offer, he had so much love to give, he just had so much.
Not being able to love you was a different type of emptiness - an emptiness that no adventure, no country, no event could ever fill, and he thinks maybe tonight is finally the night, and for the first time in so long, he’s reminded to stop running.
Everything about Riki’s life was always go go go, but somehow, tonight was different. It was quiet, rare, and he realizes nothing has been chasing him, and he finally stops running for just a single moment.
So in the dark, with the thousands of the stars and the infinite sky, with his hand in yours and his head on his shoulders, he finds himself searching for your eyes and in a moment of utter clarity, a direct contrast of the chaos that is his life, he kisses you.
He finally allows himself to kiss you, and from the way time stilled - just like it did when you were cramped in that closet all those years ago - he knew that what he was doing was right. He knows that he loves you with no hurry, and he doesn’t know how to love otherwise because you’re all he’s ever known and he has been so in love with you that nothing could ever compare to the feeling of you kissing him back. You were kissing him back, and the overwhelming sensation of having the person he deemed his soulmate - his home - kissing him back allows a few tears to escape, and the moon shines enough for you to see the track of his tears. It’s you - it always has been, and it always will be.
He breathes in the scent of your skin, feeling your hair under his fingertips, trying to memorize every single detail of your first kiss. Everything just seemed to vanish, and in that moment, it was just you and him, under the infinite sky and the thousands of stars.
In that moment, you were finally something more.
permanent taglist. @giyyuzz @ja4hyvn @candidupped @ily-cuz-i @amakumos
this is so cute!!!! 🎀
boy's night ☆ riki nishimura
☆ summary: riki had no game, no rizz, which was why he employed the help of his six friends to text you. warning: having seven boys on the phone trying to text a girl does not give good results! ☆ genre: fluff, all enhypen members make an appearance, boys being boys, very stupid, it's getting rizzy in here but clearly i have negative game ☆ warning(s)? no just silliness :3 ☆ word count: 1.7k words
"Oh my god, she texted me!" was the sentence that completely destroyed Jake Sim's house.
Tonight, Riki was having a sleepover at Jake's house. It was supposed to be a chill night, a night in which Riki could bask in his friends' presence before they went off to college again.
There were many perks to being the youngest in his friend group. It seemed like Heeseung, Jay, and Jake forever saw him as their baby, after all, when they all met as children, Riki was a snotty little four year-old, constantly tattling on the older boys. Regardless, it was nearly impossible for them to not fuss over him, constantly asking if he ate yet or if he needed help. Sunghoon teased the ever-living shit out of Riki, sure, but the older boy never hesitated to take Riki's side whenever there was an argument. Sunoo and Jungwon were closest to Riki in age, but that didn't stop them from watching over him closely, like mother cats stalking their cubs.
Though, there was one thing that Riki had to admit that he hated about being the youngest: he was the most inexperienced.
Whenever his friends got their 'firsts,' he was always too young to care. It seemed like all his friends got to experience their first crushes and heartbreaks almost simultaneously, only for them to not be there when Riki had his.
Even when he was now a senior in high school, he had absolutely no idea how to talk to girls.
He'd heard all the stories about Heeseung and his antics at college, all the flirting tips that Jake liked to give out to Sunghoon and Jay, and all the crazed texts that Sunoo and Jungwon sent as they went through relationships.
Even so, Riki had never experienced teenage love for himself.
Enter: You.
You were the cute girl that sat in front of him in his Macroeconomics class. If it wasn't for the fact that Riki absolutely hated Macro, he would blame the fact that you were just so pretty that he couldn't bring himself to focus on the lecture about the New York Stock Exchange.
Initially, Riki had no intention of pursuing you.
You were cute, obviously, but hearing you talk to your partner in class was enough for him. Plus, it wasn't like Riki had any experience— even if he wanted to talk to you, he had no idea how to!
Except, thanks to his nosy friends, your name had been discussed what felt like a million times by the end of the week.
"So... [Name], eh?" was the first thing Sunghoon said as Riki's camera turned on during their weekly weekend FaceTime calls.
"This is so exciting, Riki," Heeseung said as he joined the call.
"Wait, how do you know her again?" Sunoo's voice cut in. "Sorry, my Wi-Fi is bad. You said you know her from Macro?"
With a little more prying, his friends managed to get a middle-school level confession out of Riki.
"I-I just think she's really pretty, and like, she's really smart," Riki huffed, "I don't think she likes me like that— I've never even spoken to her! Like, I can't talk to women, I straight up am a mess and the other day—oh my god— she looked at me and I think I almost passed out. What do I do? I actually cannot do thi—
".... But you think she's pretty, right?"
And that's how Riki managed to get your phone number. With the help of his friends (that felt more like them feeding into his delusions), he worked up the courage to stutter out a simple question.
And when you smiled, nodding enthusiastically as you typed your contact into his phone, Riki felt his soul leave his body.
So, it wasn’t hard to imagine the havoc that engulfed Jake Sim's house (the place of the sleepover) as Riki's phone pinged, your contact name showing up.
It was already late at night, so the boys were raiding Jake's pantry to get midnight snacks.
The moment that Riki announced that you had just, in fact, texted him first, everyone stopped in their tracks.
"Oh shit!" Jay shouted as he jumped over Jake's sofa, bowl of cereal still in hand.
The sound of crashing as Heeseung knocked over the ramen cups, as well as cutlery dropping abruptly and cabinets slamming filled the house.
"Oi, don't mess up my kitchen!" Jake yelled as his feet pounded against his stairs, scrambling so fast that he practically glided downstairs. After Jungwon spilled milk on his shirt, he was half-way through putting on a new shirt as he clambered down.
"What did she—" Sunoo pushed Jay out of the way, knocking the older boy over as he plopped down next to Riki on the living room carpet and peeked over his shoulder— "What did she say?!"
Within seconds, all six of his friends were huddled around Riki, pushing each other out of the way to catch a glimpse of what you said.
"Move your fatass head!"
"I can't see!"
As his friends argued, Riki stared at his phone, chewing on his bottom lip. His heart was pounding in his chest. He only saw the notification, and didn't see what you said yet.
What if you said something crazy, like "I just found out about that one time in first grade when you peed yourself at the playground" even though Riki and all his friends agreed to never speak of that incident again?! Or, what if you confessed your everlasting love for him in a long paragraph?
His head was spinning.
"Wait, did you open the message yet?!" Jungwon abruptly yelled into Riki's ear.
"No..." Riki answered slowly, watching the way all of his friends' once tense faces soften with relief.
"Oh my god," Jake sighed in relief.
"Phhhhheeewww!" Heeseung said dramatically.
"Why?" Riki frowned. "What's wrong with opening the message?"
"[Name] can see if you read her message if you open it," Sunghoon said matter-of-factly.
"Why is that a bad thing?"
All of his friends groaned.
They taught him a trick: swipe just enough so that he could see the message, but not enough that the system marks it as read.
Hey, was all you said, much to Riki's relief.
"What do I say?" Riki asked, clutching his phone. His eyes flickered to his friends as he sucked his bottom lip under his teeth pensively. "How do I respond to this?"
"Just say 'hey' back!" Jay blurted.
"No!" Heeseung shook his head profusely. "Anything but that!"
"Why not? You want him to say haiiii instead?" Sunghoon nudged the older boy.
"No, no, no!" Jungwon reached across to smack Sunghoon's knee. "All of you are wrong."
Jungwon turned to Riki. "Just respond with an emoji."
They all groaned loudly.
"Okay, anything but a goddamn emoji!"
Riki ended up typing out a simple hey in response. He had to make Sunoo press send for him, squeezing his eyes shut. Riki immediately shut his phone off, placing it face down.
"I don't want to see if she responds or not!" Riki moaned.
Within a minute or two, his phone pinged again.
"She responded!"
Even though you only asked, How was your day?, the entire house was once again invigorated. The boys shrieked, whooping and hitting Riki's shoulder, so loud that the house probably shook.
"Oh my god, it's happening!"
"Ouuuuu, she wants you, Riki!"
"Everyone shut the fuck up, it's time to lock in, oh my god it's actually happening—"
And just as everyone settled back down, ready to give Riki their mind-blowing advice, his phone dinged again.
[Attachment: 1 photo]. It was a silly picture of you, one of those cute ones that showed your eyes, clearly taken on the spot.
"OHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Shewantsyousobadohmygo—"
According to Jake, if a girl sends you a picture of herself, no matter how silly or cute it is, she is head over heels for you.
"One message at a time!" Jay yelled over Jake's shoulder as they tried to figure out how to respond. "You need to answer her question first and then respond to the picture!"
"No! Don't respond to the picture!" Sunghoon, who was all the way in the guest bathroom, yelled from behind the bathroom door, his voice both booming and muffled. "She'll think you're weird!"
"I agree," Sunoo said.
"I agree," Jungwon mocked him in a nasally voice, earning a slap to the shoulder. "Just heart the picture!"
But their arguing fell upon deaf ears.
"Riki, what are you doing?!"
Riki was on his own, his heart beating at the tip of his fingers.
I hung out with my friends today and it was fun, how was yours? was his first response. Pressing on the picture, he responded, You look cute.
When Riki glanced over at his friends, they were sprawled across the floor, crying aloud dramatically.
"It's over."
"You're insane."
"Fumbled."
Riki threw a pillow at them. "I didn't fumble— Oh shoot, she's typing!"
The house was once again filled with screaming and crashing as they scampered to Riki's side.
You typed for a few moments. Everyone was at the edge of their seat, simply begging to see how you'd respond. But then, you stopped.
"Good game, guys."
"100% over."
Riki chewed on his thumb, his eyes glued to his phone screen. Did he creep you out? Was it weird for him to say that you looked cute? Did he fuck up?
But then you finally replied.
My day was just filled with homework, very boring, you replied. Maybe if I spent it with you it would have been more fun.
Oh.
My.
God.
Riki's hands shook as he typed back another response, completely ignoring the complete and utter disaster around him. He didn't know what came over him. He wouldn't say any of the things that he typed out loud, let alone to your face. It was like he was possessed by some spirit that gave him the courage to type. Without even noticing it, his heart was palpitating in his chest, his entire face, neck, and ears covered in a red shade.
I'm free tomorrow, he typed.
"RIKI WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU—"
Okay, you simply responded. 12PM. The Block. Let's have fun.
"D-Did she just ask you out?"
Riki glanced at this phone, then at his friends, who stared at him with eyes as wide as saucers and their jaws dropped to the floor, then back at his phone. He blinked. "Yeah."
"Yes?!"
Riki blinked again. "Yeah."
.
.
.
And then it hit him.
"Oh my god, [Name] asked me out...!"