Mainly because I’m Batman.
that’s a lie i would rather die than lose my kids
Some more Billy Batson as a normal Justice League member as a kid HCs, mostly school related stuff hehe.
Billy frequently gets assigned Watchtower duties. And by that, I mean routing calls, managing the space station, and being the alarm in case things go wrong. This means a lot of being alone in space in a mostly empty floating hunk of metal doing nothing but telling heros they have backup coming or redirecting them to Batman because their problem is out of his pay grade. While doing all of this, I can imagine him sitting cross-legged in a giant chair doing online classes. (Bruce signed him up. He can accept his adoptive son risking his life, but he refuses to raise another drop out).
Billy, on Zoom with his teacher: No, Mr Smith, I am not in a space station. I swear.
Hal: *floats by outside the window, doing repairs on the Watchtower*
Billy:...its a green screen...
*the Watchtower suddenly lurches to the side as Hals distant yelling about "STUPID FUCKING SPACE JUNK" is heard*
Billy: a very realistic green screen...
Billy actually really enjoys being able to do online classes in space. His favorite spots to work in the Watchtower change every few weeks, but most of them have gained a few chairs/tables/blankets once other heros notice. His top 3 would be the main control room, one of the smaller meeting rooms, and the observation deck. On multiple occasions, heros have walked into a completely dark meeting room to find Billys face lit up by a screen as he shushes them (he's in the middle of testing).
Billy, groaning: Gosh dang it... my counselor wants a parent teacher conference...
Bruce, brow furrowed: Why? You have high grades.
Billy: Apparently, leaving mid exam to save the southern hemisphere from an alien invasion doesn't count as an excused absence...
I love-love AUs, where Jason adopts a kid and conventionally forgets to mention it to others, but I think it would be funnier, if he adopted an animal, but his family instantly started to think that he hides a child, because, honestly, it is obvious that he will end up with one anytime soon—
Jason, snoozing on his alarm: Hey, sorry, I gotta go. Dick: It is okay. See you around! Jason: *leaves* Tim, whispering: So, I don't want to start a panic, but his alarm name was "feeding time". Bruce, slamming his hands against the table: Finally! This had happened! Jason adopted someone! Dick, no less excited: We won. I am an uncle!
Jason, while scrolling the kangaroo ass carriers on the internet: Hm-m. Alfred, creeping on from behind, very enthusiastic: I would recommend you this one, lad. Jason, shuddering: Jesus— Jason: Uhh. Jason, thinking that Alfred probably knows, so there is no need to over-explain: Hey, thanks, Alfie. Alfred: Anytime.
Bruce, feigning nonchalance: So, how is the baby? Jason, thinking that Alfred just told Bruce about the whole thing: Well, better than ever. Bruce: Good. Where had you found him, by the way? Jason: Her. It is a baby girl, Matilda... And, well, in Crime Alley. Bruce, sniffling, because a) Jason is so him; b) he is such a girl dad himself by the nature: That's beautiful, lad. Jason: Uh, yeah?
Tim: Come on, when are you going to bring Matilda to introduce us? Dick is not getting younger. Dick: Hey— Dick: But also, yeah! I am not getting any younger. Jason, confused: You all are kinda obsessed. Jason: Like, there is literally nothing special. If you want to pat a dog, go and pat Titus. Don't bother my girl. Everyone, dropping whatever they were doing: A DOG?!
*camera starts recording. A shadow appears on screen, and in the abyss where a face would be stars twinkle on the other side of a black hole. They wave at you.*
Hi everyone, my name’s Andy (they/them). I am the ghost of-
*lights flicker, not because of anything paranormal but bc someone broke in off camera and started chucking salt everywhere and tripped over the lights* not that kind of ghost, god fucking damn it not aGAIN-
*camera glitches. The lighting is fixed. The only human thing about the Void is their frustration. The nebulas floating across their form manage to convey the utmost annoyance.*
Hi. I’m the Void, or the Abyss, and you can call me Andy. I’m the ghost of universes that once were. *squints at someone off camera, celestial orbits clearly raising a frying pan just off frame* if you mention the multiverse I swear to god-
*camera glitches*
So yeah, I’m travelling around, dipping into different stories and fixing them up, trying to give them a happier ending, y’know?
*if the Void had eyes, they would be sad. Instead, there is only the constant drift of broken planets and colliding stars.*
I’ve seen so many things end badly for the people, or characters, involved, I want to try and make it a little bit better, one story at a time. Like the Good Place, except in the found family sense and not in the making me bawl my fucking EYES out at the end-
*camera glitches*
-just a silly little nerdy cosmic mess trying to have fun. I hope if you are interested, check out my blog for talking about my stories, to the writing process, to just generally fun things to talk about. I hope if you do put some faith in this Not-Universe, you enjoy reading or chatting, and that it makes you smile. If you do, come talk to me! I’m always looking to meet new people whenever I drop in on another world.
Even if you don’t say anything, have fun, and remember: you are never alone, even if you can’t see all the stars surrounding you.
*The sweet moment is interrupted by the thumping footsteps of a large animal of some kind, and something knocks into the camera, sending it to the floor as the Void, meteors flying, tries to shoo the beast*
Sorry, Ghost gets a little over excited when he meets a new friend- Ghost, quit slobbering all over me you oversized bread basket-
*camera glitches to a close up of a very ruffled Void, dwarf planets askew and stardust swirling as they hurry to say farewell* Ok, enjoy! Bye!
*camera cuts*
Bruce: Okay, let me get this straight-
Tim: More like let me get this bi you.
Jason: Let us ace-ess the situation.
Dick: Let’s see how this pans out.
Damian: I’m gay.
Bruce:
Bruce: That’s all great and all, but WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE KITCHEN FIRE?!
Up and coming metal artist Eddie Munson covers his favorite song by queer pop icon Steve Harrington, who he's lowkey obsessed with, even if he loses a bit of cred for liking a few basic bitch songs.
Steve Harrington-- VERY aware of Corroded Coffin's extremely sexy frontman, all thanks to his little brother Dustin dragging him to a shitty bar in their hometown to listen to screaming songs about dragons and wizards-- who in turn covers one of Eddie's songs and posts it to his socials.
Cue Eddie and Dustin having simultaneous aneurysms when Steve slides into Eddie's DMs and gets a response in milliseconds.