Just Tried A B-day Cake Flavored Taffy And I’m Literally About To Bust It’s So Good Wtf

Okay nvm my phone is getting really fucky and I can’t DO SHIT :(

Can we get another Luigi for Elon please

*i pull up in a cool red car* Heh. Whats up, ladies? *i step out and nod, putting on my sunglasses slowly so i look cool* wanna uh... go out? Yiur pretty chill. Heres my number.

1-800-shit-ball-licker

I called the number and now I’m banned from Denmark

BLINKIESSS

LIKE???😭😭

TELL ME IM NIT THE ONLY ONEVWHO SEES IT :((

All fun and games till your fish looks like a dick

I told my dad the “go poop girl, go poop” and he looked at me angry and now I’m having a panic attack :(

Why can’t I like it

IM ON GHE SAME BUSS AS THE METAL HEAD GUY LETS FUCKING GOOOO

my two moods are “pls sexualize me” and “if you fucking say one fucking word i’ll leave you disemboweled on a gas station toilet with your worthless dick shoved in your mouth”

Okay so lucy just had KITTENS???? What do I do??? Im pretty sure my parents don’t want to keep them and there really isn’t a corner we can drop them off at nearby, we aren’t even sure if she’s even done having them because there’s only 3 and my dad said normally there’s like 5-6 but I dunno what to do someone PLEASE HELP ME