So Many Intrusive Thoughts.

So many intrusive thoughts.

But I have to say this about Elsa because I feel like people really don't realize this, but her lack of control was COMPLETELY a mindset thing. It was COMPLETELY an anxiety thing.

I understand a lot of people see her powers as metaphor for autism/being queer/mental illness and all sorts of things. ALL VALID.

Buuuuuuut I have a special connection with her magic because the way her magic functioned when she couldn't control it was incredibly similar to the way my mental illness functioned. I had really chronic intrusive thoughts as a kid that were so bad, I had to get on medication for them. Still on those meds to this day.

I am going to talk about the cycle of fear with her magic.

The way the intrusive thoughts worked for me was a cycle.

Intrusive thought -> Fear I am dangerous -> Push thought down -> Thought grows more intense -> Combined Fear/Resistance creates push for impulse/compulsion -> Fear of being dangerous grows -> Thought grows more intense and harder to control -> Fear turns to anxiety -> Self-loathing -> Growing belief that I am a monster

For those who aren't educated on this, I never hurt anybody or myself. This isn't sadism, psychopathy, or anything that could turn into a violent disorder. This is a form of OCD called harm-OCD and the reason this particular form of OCD is so intense is because the compulsion to release the anxiety/fear/intensity of the intrusive thought is to act on it. Which people with this disorder FLAT OUT REFUSE to do. But if you have OCD, you know how hard it is to resist the urge for the compulsion... but with this version, YOU HAVE TO. On average, people with this disorder are harmless and are in pain because they just want to be a good person.

It's also a very good metaphor for how Elsa's powers function when she was afraid. Because the key here is that the more you resist, the more powerful it becomes.

Elsa has magic -> Elsa accidentally hurts Anna -> Anna almost dies -> Fear will be your enemy -> Elsa fears fear itself -> trauma-induced symptoms develop from her sister almost dying/parent's panic/hurting somebody else sets in -> Anxiety forms around the fear of hurting others -> Mental illness impacts her way of thinking -> Self-belief she cannot control herself becomes a complex -> Magic "misbehaves" -> Elsa gets scared/represses as a form of control -> Magic intensifies -> Elsa grows more scared -> Magic intensifies

There is a difference in the development of my own problem vs Elsa's problem, but the point is we both have this "dangerous" force inside of us we cannot control, that is only worsened by fear.

The comparison continues on, also, in how to handle these "dangerous forces" (outside of medication). The way to handle them is both with love. In Elsa's case, she had to let in love in, Period. Isolation was the worst possible strategy for her when she was a kid. She needed people to believe in her, not fear her. This I can attest to because my parents didn't understand what was going on with me either, and one parent in particular was afraid of me.

In Elsa's case, it was about trusting herself. Love brings trust. And it functioned the same as intrusive thoughts because just like her magic, trusting yourself is key for the thought to pass.

In my case, one thing you can do is sit with the thought. Give it the space it needs. Do not resist. Because I am not violent and just because my thoughts are violent does not mean I am. It is that innate trust that can be built if you apply this strategy to intrusive thoughts because it is resistance that gives it it's power.

Self-trust and external love and support is a big part of what can help both of these examples to go in a positive direction. As a result, Elsa's magic - or my thoughts - can finally flow easily without any fear of hurting anyone.

More Posts from Sammyam12345678 and Others

6 months ago

no because the bone i have to pick with marvel over the development of female characters. why do we only explore their characters when they’re dead, or going to die. seeing maria in such a personal way with her glasses on and minimal makeup just for her to die? getting black widow when natashas already dead? exploring wanda’s character when they make the switch to villian/anti-hero? not when she’s trying and she’s hurting? but steve has three movies, and bucky has an entire backstory, and we just keep adding onto tony’s long list. these women are constantly a second thought, or a last resort to boost engagement, and i’m sick of it.

9 months ago
This Is Actually Incredibly Sweet

this is actually incredibly sweet

8 months ago

The handwriting/fonts I use for each of the Madrigals

The Handwriting/fonts I Use For Each Of The Madrigals
5 months ago

Edit: I have decided to abridge the titles. As of the day I post this, I will decide on the new, shorter titles by the end of the day. Thank you for understanding.

New Fanfiction Changes: Titles

Good morning, afternoon, or evening.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my post.

Earlier, I have posted about my new black widow fanfiction, and how I have made some edits to it, and in the process changed it up.

One of the most notable changes I have made is to the title.

Originally, I had planned to release one fic, titled "The Widows Caretaker". However, I have changed my plans, to instead release a series of fics, to explains where it all starts and where it all ends up. As such, I have changed the titles, so they flow together in a series.

I have changed it to the red medic series.

The Red Medic is the protagonist Olgas vigilante alias.

As of now, here are the stories, in chronological order(in terms of setting):

Red Guardian and the Red Medic

Red Medic: On Becoming an Angel; Part 1

Red Medic: On Becoming an Angel; Part 2

Red Medic and the Red Widow

TLDR: "The Widows Caretaker" is now titled as the "Red Medic" series.

In my next post, I will explain changes I made to the setting. If you are a fan of the TV series Yellowstone, you will be excited to hear about this story!

New Fanfiction Changes: Titles

Thank you for taking the time out of your day or night to read my post. Have a good day or night.


Tags
1 week ago
Cutest Family

cutest family

1 year ago

Thanks for the analysis. I was in no way shape or form trying to compare them. I was just pointing out that while the girls are great characters, they are not to be idolized. As a correction, I was wrong about Dolores. She is fine, and idk if anyone in the fandom actually idolizes her.

Controversial Post

Good morning, afternoon, or evening to those reading this.

This will be a controversial post, so please grab your pitchforks and hold on to your keyboards.

Many people like to point out fictional characters that many viewers idolize, despite the creators pointing out that said characters are not good role models. The most mentioned characters are Don Draper from Mad Men, Walter White from Breaking Bad, and The Joker from Joker.

Controversial Post
Controversial Post
Controversial Post

However, movies and TV shows about middle-aged men are not the only sources of media that feature characters who are poor role models but receive a lot of worship from fandoms.(please excuse my use of passive voice). Many Disney films and TV shows, which are typically about high school and college-aged girls, feature main or supporting characters who are poor role models but are idolized by their fandoms. These are broad statements, so I will not name names. I am solely generalizing.

This was inspired by @dani-luminae 's post comparing Mal Bertha and Elsa of Arendelle. I recently re-blogged the post.

The majority of the featured characters are from films, but a few are from TV shows and TV movies. If you would like to add any more, please do so by replying or re-blogging.

At the top of my head, I have listed Mal and Audrey from the Descendants franchise.

Controversial Post
Controversial Post

Next, jumping to the Encanto fandom is Isabela Madrigal and maybe(emphasizing maybe) Dolores Madrigal.

Controversial Post

So much collateral damage. Thankfully this scene takes place in a small town(nothing against small towns. I am from a small town myself), and if it took place in an urban area, the scene would look like the aftermath of an Avengers movie.

Controversial Post

Lastly, since this post is getting too long, is another magical big sister, Elsa of Arendelle from Frozen(Same w/ the girlies from Encanto above: being a bad sister, plus, and mainly, collateral damage).

Controversial Post

Yes, all of the ladies I mentioned above are b*d*ss*s, and do display some positive personality traits and engage in prosocial behaviors. However, despite that, they are not good role models in universe, as IRL, they would be felons, and their family members and friends may limit contact with them.

There is nothing wrong with sympathizing with any of the characters above. There is nothing wrong with relating to the characters above. There is nothing wrong with liking the characters above. However, you can sympathize with, relate to, or even like the characters above while simultaneously recognizing them as poor role models in universe and IRL.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day or night to read my very controversial post, and please be kind and polite in your replies and re-blogs.

To anyone who read my entire blog post, and have a great day or night.

2 weeks ago

Encanto Characters and their Yellowstone Counterparts: Part 2

Good morning, afternoon, or evening.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day or night to ready my post.

As a warning, this is a long post.

A couple months, I made a blog post about how similar Encanto and Yellowstone are. Here is the post:

Encanto Characters and their Yellowstone Counterparts: Part 1
Tumblr
Good morning, afternoon, or evening to anyone reading my post. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to ready this. Recently, @embe

First, thank you @embermc for the initial comparison.

Moving along, in each post about Encanto characters and their Yellowstone counterparts, I will compare three characters per post.

John Dutton and Abuela Alma Madrigal

Encanto Characters And Their Yellowstone Counterparts: Part 2
Encanto Characters And Their Yellowstone Counterparts: Part 2

They are both heads of their families and small towns.

Beth Dutton and Pepa Madrigal

Encanto Characters And Their Yellowstone Counterparts: Part 2
Encanto Characters And Their Yellowstone Counterparts: Part 2

This one I found to be the most obvious. Not only do they look alike, but they both tend to be moody and feisty.

Rip Wheeler and Felix Matrigal

Encanto Characters And Their Yellowstone Counterparts: Part 2
Encanto Characters And Their Yellowstone Counterparts: Part 2

They are both chill guys who are happily married to feisty gals.

That's all for now. Stay tuned for part 3!

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. Have a good day or night.


Tags
1 year ago

to the madrigalcest people of the fandom :

To The Madrigalcest People Of The Fandom :

sincerely,

jinx

1 year ago

@amethystoceandespiser

Thank you for reblogging my post!

Hirobel: Perfect Song Part 1

Good morning, afternoon, or evening to anyone reading my post! Thank you for taking the time out of your day or night to read my post.

A few months ago, I wrote a mini-essay on how "Brooklyn Baby" by Lana Del Rey is the perfect ship song for Isabela and Elsa. After I posted my mini-essay, I started thinking of a perfect ship song for Hiro and Mirabel. I thought they would both be Swifties, and favor Taylor Swift's "Taylor Swift", "Fearless" and "Speak Now" albums. As such, I think these songs would be perfect for them:

"Our Song" by Taylor Swift from her debut album

Hirobel: Perfect Song Part 1

"Fearless" by Taylor Swift from her Fearless album

"Love Story" by Taylor Swift from her Fearless album

Hirobel: Perfect Song Part 1

"You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift from her Fearless album

Hirobel: Perfect Song Part 1

"Mine" by Taylor Swift from her Speak Now album

Overall, I think all of those songs would be good fits for a Hirobel fic.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day or night to read my post. Have a good day or night!

1 year ago

I do not.

I really think people have forgotten just how bad things were under the Trump Administration. Literally every day there was news about some service being cut or someone terrible appointed somewhere they shouldn't be or what have you. He constantly flirted with WW3 and military dictatorship. It was such a blur of badness that there aren't big standouts for people to point to to make him "the XYZ president." it was everything. all the time. Why do we not remember this.

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sammyam12345678 - Sammy the Moth
Sammy the Moth

20 she/her/hers. Interested in Disney, Taylor Swift, County Music, TLC Shows, Politics, Sustainability, Gardening, Floral Arrangements, Baking, Piano, and Figure Skating.

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