satan-ate-my-sandwitch

Latest Posts by satan-ate-my-sandwitch

I don't think i quite understand this whole bopping thing because I just see Boop 'n so I must Boop :D

All the Boops everyone is getting a Boop

The little BEANS

Lantern Rite has been absolutely hilarious 😭 The poets have no power on the seas

😫🥲it's so goodddddd 😭

Kazuha would be so attached to you he'd hold you hostage 🍁🍂

Characters: Clingy Kazuha, y/n

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

Kazuha would be so attached to you he'd hold you hostage.

He'd be terrified that at any moment you'd disappear without a word, like his 'friend' had in the past.

He's very clingy when you're alone

Very protective in public, despite the fact he knew you were fully capable. He marveled at the way you fought.

There'd be times when you went to leave, whether for a quest, or for something as simple as groceries.

He'd be slouching on the sofa dozing off, but the minute he heard your, "I'll be back." His heart would stop and he'd grab you by whatever clothes you were wearing

He'd give you a sappy gander that screamed please don't go.

He'd pull you down onto the sofa abruptly, and you stumble right where he wanted you.

His arms.

He'd coddle you, pulling you to his chest.

He'd hold you snuggling you like you were a childhood stuffed animal that he couldn't bare to part with.

"Mmhm, don't go yet." He whined, pulling you closer, the gentle brush of his lips. Not right now…" he breathed, his voice muffled.

He'd nuzzle into you, rubbing his nose into the crook of your neck, inhaling your earthy scent.

Your smell calmed him, made him feel safe, and protected from all his burdens.

This would cause you to melt into a puddle of adoration.

You smile and return the gesture, holding him closely to your chest and raking your fingers through his silver hair.

"Why don't we go later than? Together hm?" You offer, speaking softly, your plump lips gently kissing his forehead.

"Mhhmm" he nods, inhaling the stillness of the moment, the love that seemed to fill the air with streaks of silver lining.

"y/n I love you so much." He mumbles nuzzling into you.

"You're my family" you susurrated tenderly.

😭😭😭😭

Zhongli!dragon Zhongli!Rex Lapis

Characters: Zhongli/Rex Lapis, Kind of an x reader? You are the traveler.

Genre: Angst/No comfort

A/N if enough ask then I guess I'll write a part two with some fluff. For now suffer. ✌(◕‿-)

The first archon that you ever met was Zhongli. He sent you to Venti and told you that he'd see you again soon when Venti was no longer in need. 

 Zhongli always watches everyone and everything from a distance, he sends help when it's needed. However he never seems to intervene himself. 

Except for when there are matters involving only you. 

You come back to Liyue only to behold a sight that would make your heart stop. But not in the way you wanted it to. You'd been conversing with a new ally if yours, Ninggaung. Some rituals were to be done in Rex Lapis' honor. 

But there Rex Lapis lied—dead…

You rush to him and beckon everyone to leave the ritual site. "Evacuate the area, we don't know how this happened!" you have to be strong. Not let your voice waver. 

Maybe this was one of those times when he was intervening in something but you didn’t want to take that risk. 

You kneel beside him, sliding your arms under his head and resting it on your lap.

You could feel the burdens he carried. 

"Zhongli please—come on, wake up." 

He didn't, and your heart sank. You  could feel the tears start to form, but you took in a breath to control it. 

You’ve seen worse, you’ve lost worse. What's one more person right? 

very much out of left field, but i didn't read your url right for a minute and i thought it said 'satanatemysandwich' lol

That's great! That's even better than what it actually is like 👏👏👏 I love misread/heard words their so great sometimes(≧∇≦)b

I want a story about a king whose son is prophesied to kill him so the king is like “whatever what am I supposed to do, kill my own kid wtf is wrong with you” so he just raises him as normal, doesn’t even tell him about the prophecy, and instead of some convoluted twist of events that leads to the king’s murder the son grows up and when the king is very old and dying and in excruciating pain the kid is just like alright I'mma put him out of his misery.

No one is fucking talking about it but another black man was killed by the same police department that killed George Floyd they killed him 9 seconds after entering his apartment. No knock warrants are fucking bullshit. He was wrapped in his blanket he was innocent they had the wrong address there is body cam footage you cannot fucking deny this bullshit.

This is being hushed up and covered up and I cannot believe it took me until TODAY, SIX DAYS AFTER IT HAPPENED to find out about it.

Everyone should be talking about this shit.

All the BLM protests and here we are again. We cannot let a single one of these slide because that's how nothing changes and that's how innocent people are being killed at the hands of assholes who are happy to pull the trigger without hesitation. I'm so fucking upset right now and so should you be.

EDIT: THE ORIGINAL POST SAID NINE MINUTES I MEANT TO SAY NINE SECONDS

EDIT: THIS IS GETTING A LOT OF TRACTION PLEASE REBLOG THE VERSION OF THIS POST THAT HAS THE MOST REBLOGS WITH ADDITIONAL INFORMATION.

His name was Amir Locke

Oh- what a unexpected turn of events. Come in please make yourself comfy I’ve got some books- <3

Gender abolition, but make it:

clothes sorted by body shape and style, instead of gender

removing unnecessary gender markers from non-medical documents like a driver’s license

genderless bathrooms where the stalls have floor-to-ceiling walls for privacy

abolishing gendered toys, colors, professions, hobbies, etc.

they/them as the default if you don’t know someone

And NOT:

trans and non-binary people being barred from identifying with and expressing their gender

I love this so much!!

The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.

MY HEART 💛💛💛

babysitters :D

could you explain the post about shoelaces and presidents? it would be greatly appreciated thank you

Sure! Do you mean this post?

So, it started in a post in 2012 (or earlier, I don’t know the exact date). As the Urban Dictionary entry explains, you would say “I like your shoelaces” in public as a sort of secret code if you suspect there’s another Tumblr user there. And if there is another Tumblr user, they would reply “Thanks, I stole them from the president” to let you know they understood the message and are, in fact, a Tumblr user. 

I don’t think people do this anymore, and if they ever did, it probably wasn’t a very common thing to do. Maybe they did back in 2012 when the post was recent and Tumblr wasn’t as popular as it is now. 

I also don’t think there’s any deeper meaning to the phrases. “I like your shoelaces” seems like a pretty common and nice thing to say, and if it turns out the person you thought was a Tumblr user doesn’t recognise the ‘secret message’, nothing would happen. But then “Thanks, I stole them from the president” seems weird and specific enough that you would know they understood the ‘secret message’, unlike if they just replied “Thank you”. 

Then other posts appeared making references to the shoelaces and president posts:

Beautiful

some designs made for prints. some are available in the shop.

I loved every second that it took me to read this

I’ve changee my Instagram username after like 9 years of having it, I feel weirdly emotional

I- ok so when he gets better enough to do a performance, and shocks the entire crowd like hinata from haikyuu when he does the super quick attack. I live for this entire thing made my day 100 times better

Instead of making up shitty racist headcanons about Miles shoplifting join me in headcanoning him picking up ballet because he thought Gwen being a ballerina was super neat and it would help him in his spiderman job

Story of my life people. You know what’s real ? The struggle.

Happy Pride Month ♥

Bro like same?!?!?

So is reblog is also not permitted?

That’s the difference. Reblogs are good! You promote the artist and their work.

At least for me repost is ok only in one condition: you asked permission and the artist said “yes”.

Thank you for thine spare serotonin

anyways, fuck jk rowling

Now that the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and The White House have finalized new nondiscrimination provisions under Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act, it is more important than ever to know your rights and what to do if you face discrimination. 

To better explain what these protections mean, Out2Enroll partnered with trans comic artist, Dylan Edwards, on a series of illustrated discrimination situations. 

Read up on your rights with this guide from Out2Enroll >> 

Its so pretty 😍☺️

Drawing Sakusa cause as it turns out he may not have much of a personality but he's got that face

I feel so very robbed

extremely missed opportunity to not show katara and sokka reacting to seeing a field for the first time. katara like “holy fuck!!!!! green!!!!! everywhere green!!!!!!!!!” and sokka being like “now hang on, the Everywhere Green might be dangerous. proceed with caution.” meanwhile katara and aang are already rolling like twin barrels down a hill shrieking with utter glee. eventually sokka concedes that the everywhere green is kind of beautiful, actually. and that is the exact moment he steps in a patch of poison ivy

ENLìL Wind turbine

Please please please

I saw a post about “Please stop hitting on women while they’re at work” and I 100% agree with it, which is why I’m making a separate post to say please don’t hit on people in general when they’re at work.

I work at a bakery and we have this sweet 16 about to turn 17 year old boy who works up front of our store. He used to work at the place next door to us and, while he was there, a girl he was working with developed a bit of a crush on him and asked him out.

He said no, that he has a girlfriend (which she already knew) and thought they could just continue on being friends and coworkers.

Since beginning work at our bakery she stops in every single day and talks to him for the entirety of her 30 minute long break. He has told her multiple times that he’s at work and can’t stand around and talk and when I asked him if he was uncomfortable his response was a very relieved “Oh, God, yes.” 

He’s tried to talk to one of the owners about it and his response was “You can talk to her after work” not realizing this poor boy is being made incredibly uncomfortable on a daily basis in the work place. 

When we told him he could come into the back to find something to do if he needed to he was so incredibly thankful and relieved. This girl spent twenty minutes standing up front waiting for him to come back after he said he had to go do something. Twenty minutes in the front of the store ever after being told he can’t talk to her. He doesn’t know what would happen if he says that he doesn’t want to talk to her and is genuinely nervous every time she walks in.

The only reprieve he gets is from the bakers in the back saying “I get it. Come back here” because the Owners don’t understand that he, a male coworker, can be made uncomfortable by these unwanted advancements being made toward him. 

Please.

This post isn’t made to undersell not hitting on women while they’re at work. I get that and that’s why this separate post exists.

Please.

Don’t hit on people when they’re at work.

Don’t hit on people when they can’t tell you no. 

Chloé Zhao, who just won an Oscar for best director, writes fanfiction.

That's the kind of validation I needed in my life. Thank you, ma'am.