sayaosi

Latest Posts by sayaosi

The village needs sacrifices. That's how it's survived. ヴィレッジ VILLAGE (2023), writ. & dir. by Michihito Fujii

Whiplash (2014) is a good film. I like what is has to say about Jazz and how it's a conversation within the band members themselves, about what it means to them and how they take the pieces they play and meld it to their hands. I like that Whiplash wants to deconstruct the harshness and the perfectionism of most high-class directors and coaches. I like that it shits on and then spreads on how seriously harmful it is to the musician's psyche.

Whiplash is named whiplash because of the turns taken both by the director and the drummer. On how sudden and fast their dynamic turns sour and then blooms. It's the whiplash of learning. It's the whiplash of a piece being too fast. It's the whiplash of a piece being turned slow. It's the vertigo of motion and the motions of riffs. And the motions of emotions of riffs.

I like Whiplash because it introduces the intimacy between two people being so passionate about their craft, one too stuck and intimidating and the other too loose and full of novelty. How they change because of one another. The emotional duress and investment into each other. Is it erotic? In a way that could only be brought about by the erotism of vulnerability. The camera work does most of that conversation, conversing with it's audience without blinking. With cuts from scene to beautiful scene, showing us vulnerability.

The whiplash of the assault of their senses of each other. It's wonderful. It's deviating. It is introspective. It fucks with its vulnerability. It makes the audience feel the characters audacity for tearing and building these vails.

The failed dating, the awkward family dinner, the throwing away of neilman's passions, the peaking at a man who's career shouldn't have gone so long in predigest settings, the envelopment of class and the negging of peers.

The movie is bad. The movie is good. The movie is simply driven by it's showing rather than telling. Yet, it feels stiff at time whenever there's a lull in music. It's on purpose, it isn't.

Whiplash (2014) is a nice movie. I love how it sounds.

I’d rather die drunk, broke at 34, and have people at a dinner table talk about me than live to be rich and sober at 90 and nobody remember who I was. WHIPLASH (2014) Dir. Damien Chazelle

Better Days 少年的你 (2019) dir. Derek Tsang

I just watched Paprika (2006). The storyline was interesting, and I loved the animation. However, the fatphobia throughout the film was disappointing to see, especially coming from Chiba during that elevator dream scene.

Barbie (2023) dir. Greta Gerwig

Little Forest

Watched: 12.03.2023

Hit pause on the turning point.This movie is a gentle reminder that it’s okay to just take a moment to breathe and figure yourself out - be it a day, month or a year. There is no point in chasing after things that do not bring you peace and happiness. Yes, you still need to deal with your responsibilities, you need an income to support yourself financially, but that does not mean you need to desire and want what everyone else strives for. We are all different, with different motivations and needs. One person enjoys a fast paced environment, someone else needs more calmness in their surroundings. There are no right and wrong answers in how to live your life, as long as you are not hurting others.

And that’s basically what the movie is about - Hye Won putting her life on pause as she tries to figure out what she truly wants, and if the goal she was trying to reach so far is what she truly desires. She reconnects to her roots, reignites her old friendships and slowly learns about her mother’s decisions in the past - understanding things she was not able to understand when she was younger.

What Little Forest offers is comfort and warmth. Beautiful scenery and amazing short cooking scenes. A message that simple life is meaningful. That making amends with your past is the way to move forward, even if it means starting from the beginning.

Additionally, we get an amazing cast delivering perfect performances. Honestly speaking, the movie is Kim Tae Ri’s, and Kim Tae Ri’s only. She carries the whole film. She fits the rural slice of life genre so well, I would have no issue watching a full 16 episodes show based on Little Forest.

Overall, big recommendation for anyone who loves a calming slice of life content with few cooking scenes that will make you hungry.

LITTLE FOREST (2018), dir Yim Soon-rye

LITTLE FOREST (2018), dir Yim Soon-rye

You think disaster just falls over the sky? No. We have come step by step towards this fate.

FAREWELL MY CONCUBINE 霸王別姬 (1993, Chen Kaige)

disappointed by farewell my concubine tbh!

when it comes to disco elysium, one of my favourite things within the game is the usage of lungs as a motif of love and the representation of this through dolores dei. it’s an incredible way of showing it, as when you love someone or something it almost seems to sustain you, becomes the air that you breathe.

however, another thing i noticed is that an overwhelming majority of the characters smoke. smoking is famously damaging to your health, more specifically to your lungs - almost like smoking is a metaphor for the way these characters show their relationships with others.

some prime examples are:

• harry du bois, who smoked heavily before losing his memory (and after, depending on player choice), a clear instance because of dora and her effect on his life and relationships for years after she left

• the smoker on the balcony, who is never seen without a cigarette, and is in an unloving sexual relationship with someone who can never understand him or truly know him at all

• klaasje amandou, who is also never seen without a cigarette, believes that she is at fault for all of her relationships collapsing and has a skewed view on what it means to love

however, my favourite example is, of course, kim kitsuragi. yes, he smokes as he enjoys the control he has over his addiction and the “cool factor” it gives him is satisfying, but i think there’s a more specific reason there - kim is so repressed that he consistently walls himself off from relationships.

kim himself says that he smokes one a day as he goes over his notes. to me, this says that he is causing minor, daily damage to his interpersonal relationships that builds up more and more over time. the fact that he does it specifically when going over notes says a lot to me too - that his work is what he’s using to push others away.

he does break this one a day rule, however - in the ending where the player chooses not to recruit kim. harry leaves kim behind. they shake hands, and as soon as harry turns away, kim lights a cigarette, a visual representation of the damage caused by another partnership cut short.

I feel like I've never seen anyone talk about one of the reasons that being aro is so lonely is that we aren't really allowed to form deeper connections with people.

I'm not allowed to be too close to my friends because if I am then they'll read it as romantic. Their partners will think they're cheating on them with me.

I'm not allowed to touch other people in a way that's too friendly. I'm not allowed to cuddle with people. I'm not allowed to bare my heart and soul to people. I'm not allowed to hang out one-on-one with anyone. All of those things are reserved for people who aren't me. People who can't be me.

Yeah "more than friends" is stupid and friends can be just as important and close as romantic partners but what non-aro actually believes that? What non-aro would let go of their ownership of their partner for long enough to allow me to have any form of affection?

[Do not tag as ace/aroace or derail]

My Thoughts About Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

Fantastic. Mr Fox is my FAVORITE film, ever. There is so much I could say about it… I don’t even think I can cram it into one post, so I’m not going to.

There’s so many relationships that I could analyze and give my opinions on.. but for this post, I’m going to focus on the relationships between Ash, Felicity (Mrs. Fox), and Foxy (Mr. Fox).

I believe that Mr. Fox never wanted a serious relationship with Felicity. At the very least, he wasn’t ready for one.

Mr. Fox gets an honest job to provide for them (writing newspaper articles), their home is fine, and they seem to be making enough to get by… but it’s clear to me that he never wanted to settle down and take the responsibility of being a husband or a father in the first place. (This was forced onto him with the unexpected pregnancy). Felicity makes him promise her to stop doing what he loves (stealing birds), because it's too dangerous for the situation that they're in now.

I think Mr. Fox knew from the start that he’d never be satisfied living this "simple life". He needs the approval of others to feel good about himself, and he didn’t feel like he deserved any praise for what he was doing. He needed to be doing something "fantastic". This is what pushes him to not listen to his lawyer and buy a house that they can’t even afford.

When they move to the bigger house, it never seems like Felicity has strong feelings about the change. She was happy with the simple life they had, and she thought he was too.

Mr. Fox is one of the most selfish main character’s I’ve ever seen portrayed in film. Even when their home is shot at, all he can think about is himself. He takes no accountability for bringing trouble to their door, he doesn’t apologize, and he doesn’t listen to anyone. Even Kylie told him it was a bad idea to start stealing birds.. and he completely dismissed him.

In my opinion, Felicity put up with his nonsense for far too long.

When they’re forced to dig underground, Felicity is furious (rightfully so). Mr. Fox, once again, takes no responsibility for what he’s done, and he says it’s just how he is (he’s just a “wild animal”). I know there’s a lot of symbolism behind them referring to themselves as wild animals, but this just proves that he is unbelievably self-centered.

Throughout the film, his son, Ash, has spent his time trying to live up to the image that he has of his father (someone fantastic, someone to be proud of). Which is ironic, of course, since Mr. Fox isn’t even proud of himself.

Ash’s view of his father has destroyed his self-esteem. His father is dismissive and distant; not appearing to think highly of him, or paying much attention to him. This is especially clear when Kristofferson starts staying with them. Mr. Fox praises Kristofferson and pays more attention to him than Ash. He invites Kristofferson on their heists and is angry at Ash for trying to go too. This causes Ash to treat Kristofferson with little to no respect, because he’s jealous.

In my opinion, the way Mr. Fox thinks of his son is clear. Ash is why he had to stop doing what he loved, and he resents him for this. He can’t be proud of Ash, because he isn’t proud of himself.

The turning point in this film, (not only for all of their relationships with one another, but also for Mr. Fox’s development), was when Kristofferson was taken hostage by the farmers.

Mr. Fox finally apologizes to Felicity for what he has done.. he realizes that he has caused so much harm to not only his family, but the entire forest. He questions why he is the way that he is, and he understands that he needs to change. Felicity loves Mr. Fox so much, but the damage has already been done. She realizes that she never should have married him, and she regrets doing so.

Instead of blaming Ash for Kristofferson getting caught, Mr. Fox realizes how his distant behavior has affected Ash. He tells Ash that it’s not his fault and that he is proud that he’s his son. Ash is so happy to hear those words from his father that he starts crying.

This film is such a heart-wrenching painting of a dysfunctional family. Mr. Fox makes amends with his wife and son, and accepts that he needs to do better. He may be selfish and stubborn, but he is trying to change. He has the ability to change! This is what I love so much about this film. Mr. Fox is a realistic character and this is the story of a real family, full of flaws and mistakes.

The film ends with Mr. Fox making a toast about change and hope. Things are going to be very different, but he doesn’t think that’s a bad thing. He’s apologized to Felicity and Ash. He knows that he needs to be a better husband and a more supportive father, (especially now that he has another child on the way). He knows that he needs to learn to be happy with what he has. Most importantly, he’s learned that he already has something fantastic, a family that loves and cares about him.

everyone talks a lot about suffering and despair as it pertains to Dostoevsky’s work which is totally fair and understandable given the subject matter but I rarely see discussion of how deeply and sacredly tender the end of C&P is. I think there’s a very important lesson to be learned which is that you do not unilaterally get to decide that you are horrid beyond redemption and unworthy of love, no matter what horrible things you’ve done. Sonya and Razumikhin and Dunya do not abandon Rodya as he thinks they should and in fact they uproot their entire lives to make sure there will still be a place for him in the world when he gets out of prison. Other people have free will and they can use that free will to unconditionally love and forgive you and there’s nothing you can do about that, whether you choose to receive it or not so you may as well receive it- even if you feel unworthy. And that is like the very beginning of hope and coming back from the place of no return. Is letting yourself be loved. And letting yourself be loved—- even if you don’t feel that you deserve it—- opens the gateway to experiencing love for others yourself after a prolonged period of cutting yourself off from feeling those feelings of positive regard. It’s a stream that flows both ways. And it doesn’t change any of the horrifying facts about the past. But it makes it possible to begin to live again.

i love Razumikhin so much

you are not unloveable you are just sad and a little bit angry. let’s go have some soup

Raskolnikov talking for three full pages about how there's Ordinary People and Extraordinary People, and these people are allowed to kill the Ordinary People in order to advance humanity. And the police commissioner humoring him and asking questions about how often these people come about, to what extent their rule reaches, how to tell the difference between an Extraordinary Person and an Ordinary Person. And Razumikhin finally interrupting them by yelling WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING ABOUT

"I'll stay with him!"Razumikhin exclaimed. "I shan't turn my back on him for a second, and to hell with all those guests of mine, let them climb up and down the walls if they want to!"

Razzy please you're too pure. An angel on earth

Pyotr Petrovitch Luzhin: So I rented some rooms for your mother and sister—

Razumikhin: oh from that place that’s nasty and stinks and has rats and roaches and smells bad and is dirty and dusty as fuck?

about 160 pages into crime and punishment and i’m obsessed with raskolnikov and razumikhin’s dynamic.

they’re the original black cat and golden retriever. man who hates speaking to people and man who never shuts up. i love them

okay but why are there such good roasts in crime and punishment? like oh my god, they're all so petty and the conversations are gold! it's so ridiculous but at the same time i'm so entertained. it's like watching a reality show in book form if that makes sense.

no line in cinema has understood me in the way that “I love you too. but I shouldn’t have married you” from Fantastic Mr Fox has understood me. The idea that she wanted a family and a good, safe life, and she wanted him too. But no matter how hard she loves him, he can’t change. She’s never ever going to be able to get exactly what she wants and her child will always have a complicated relationship with his father and there will be this quiet realisation they have to live with. I love you so much, but this was our mistake. and now we’ve made it theirs too.

As a licensed therapist, let me tell you that the most success I’ve found with patients is not being uwu soft happy thoughts guy, and instead being someone that validates all the rage, anger, frustration and sorrow they have. Curbing it with fake positivity is unhealthy and self-destructive. Express it. If you need to cry, you cry, if we need to rage, we rage, if you aren’t good with words, we can do something more physical; I bought cheap plates one time, for this 16 year old girl who just couldn’t communicate and convey properly, then we smashed them together whenever our slow conversation touched on the things that truly hurt her, the idea being that giving a physical component to speech could help her organize ideas better, and it worked.

And after we get all that rage out of you, after we validate and shape it into something that’s nothing to be ashamed of and that needn’t be kept in a little cloister until it blows you to kingdom come, then we talk about how beautiful shit can be once rage and frustration are things you can grab by the throat. Yeah it’s not going to solve everything because a lot of psychological issues are symptoms of a greater root problem, and a lot of times, you don’t have mental illness, you simply don’t have money, but with that wholly on the table? Yeah it becomes easier to navigate potential solutions and increase resilience.

But seriously, “fake it until you make it” has a lot of merits but there’s a big red line that says “FAKE HAPPINESS” that you shouldn’t cross. Can’t blame you if you do, because we are taught “negative” emotions exist (they don’t) and that we have to repress and never ‘fail’. Fuck up a lot, and learn from it, learn how to get angry in a way that helps you and doesn’t hurt others. Way more productive than thinking happy thoughts.

The thing about Wes Anderson's films is that I don't always connect with the stories he is telling, but by fucking god do I appreciate the craftmanship that went into making them.

You are allowed to exist alone in public btw. You're allowed to go to the movies alone and go out to eat alone and hang out in a park alone and go for a walk alone and whatever else. It isn't weird or creepy, it doesn't make you lonely or a loser or whatever. You are allowed to just exist as yourself.

honestly I love ash from fantastic mr fox so much because sometimes you have a parent who’s so impressive you’re never gonna live up to them and it’s all you want.

i’d rather be an athlete he is so me wanting to be as smart as my dad lol

and it’s not necessarily anything to do with them, you just want to be worthy of being their kid and others might not see you as?

which makes it so fucking emotional when ash and mr fox have that conversation- i’m so glad he was you

Stop motion movies are so comforting and joy and a lot of it is insanely underrated and deserves way more attention