Latest Posts by scarfiend - Page 2

It is with a heavy heart that I say my fiance and I have broken up. I'm in no hurry to get into another relationship or anything, but I might give consideration to someone if they caught my interest. I can think of a couple here that I would consider immediately.

Hello

Good afternoon

I'm Jake, and I'm an addict. I've spent over 40 years of my life using various mind altering substances. Everything from alcohol to crystal meth. I decided to make a change in my life about 6 months ago when I realized that all I was doing was running away from things in my life that I didn't want to deal with. Everything from anxiety to physical pain. By the time I was 15 years old I had tried ever drug available on the street at least once. At one point I began selling drugs to support my own habits, and this led to my first time in an institutional setting. I spent 6 months of my life in juvenile prison. I came out of said institution and avoided everything except alcohol for 7 years. At the end of that 7 year period, I found myself still not wanting to use, but in a position that I felt like I had no choice. I was on the tour bus with one of my favorite musicians, and he was offering to smoke a joint with me. It was like hitting the lottery in my mind. Especially since I am a huge music nerd. I gave up my 7 years without drugs at that point. I now understand that alcohol is also a drug, but at that time alcohol was the only thing I was doing. I grew up in a family of alcoholics only I didn't accept it at the time. It led me to be an alcoholic as well. Since I have become involved in 12 step programs, my views have changed. I was substituting other things for the drugs I had given up. I was having sex with anyone that gave me the opportunity. I was eating things when I wasn't even hungry. I spent way too much time playing video games. Over the years I would only use drugs if I was around a band that was using since I was involved in music. I finally got tired of who I am when I'm using and have given it all up. For the first time in my life I'm happy and drug free by choice. I may not have any money, but I have my sanity and my own mind back. If anyone has an addiction they need to talk about, I'm always willing to listen and try to help.

I'm not looking to cheat on my fiance, but I sure would like a good blow job and some strange occasionally. I just can't afford to do anything about it. It takes something particular for me to even consider someone else. I generally only go for women with dark hair, thick, tattooed, and a nice ass. I'm not really a boob man. I don't mind boobs, but they aren't a turn on for me. I've been with women from a C cup all the way to GG cup. So I can say that boobs aren't anything special to me.

Easter Sunday marked 5 months of sobriety for me. I'm also in a new sober living program, but it's a lot better than the last one I was in. This program will actually help us get jobs and doesn't limit us as far as having to be in the program for a certain amount of time before we are able to leave the apartment. I can sign out any time after 8 am as long as I'm back by 10 pm.

I'm going back to sober living on Wednesday at 10 am. So I will be out of the homeless shelter. I'm still not looking for anything here. I have my fiance in my life and she is all I need. There is only one person here who could possibly tear me away from her, and that isn't likely to happen.

Hello

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I'm too poor for anything.

Someone asked me what I like in a woman. Physically I prefer a thick woman. Preferably tattooed, black or Latina, and a nice ass is a must. I'm more of an ass man than a boob man. I love a curvy woman though, as long as she isn't too large. I've dated women of all shapes and sizes, but sometimes there can be a point that is just too big. Ideally I like a woman who is kinda short, about 5 foot tall and 150 pounds. Or about a size 10 to 16.

I am likely going into another sober living program in the next couple of weeks. I have multiple people trying to get me into another treatment program. I was given a phone number tonight at an NA meeting to get me away from the triggers in the shelter.

For those who may be interested, I will show a picture of my fiance. This woman is my soulmate and the most important person in my life other than my grandchildren. I will not cheat on her, so don't even ask. We have loved each other for over 20 years.

I am over 4 months sober at this point. I think I have my addiction under control as long as I don't pick up again. And I have decided to reconcile with my second wife, so I'm not looking to hook up or anything else. Being back with her means that I have 4 more stepchildren than I previously had, but the youngest 2 worship me just like the oldest 2 always did. The middle 2 don't know me, but they will eventually. I just have to learn to accept the youngest daughter and her quirks. Bethany wants to be a boy.

I am on the precipice of 4 months sobriety. Tomorrow is officially 4 months without drugs or alcohol.

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I'm too broke for anything, and I don't think my queen would approve.

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Sadly I'm as broke as can be

I am proud to say that I am beyond 60 days of sobriety and quickly approaching 90 days of sobriety. I am working with a sponsor and sober support system one day at a time.

hello I want to ask you questions

Feel free to ask away

Daddy is off the market. I have found my queen, and I'm no longer looking to fill that position.

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I'm starting to feel like daddy needs a new plaything. I just need to find the right one for me. Any volunteers?

Some know me from previous accounts. I like to write, and this time I'm going to put myself out there to everyone. It is frowned upon by 12 step programs, but I am publicly admitting that I am an alcoholic and dope fiend. I started consuming alcohol at a young age. Pretty much as soon as I could pour whiskey into a glass. Now here I am at 48 years old, getting my life back in order. For years all I did was drink, but I discovered Marijuana and other drugs as a teenager. Over a 5 year span I tried every drug that was on the streets. I was in a small town, but we had everything available. At the end of the 5 year span, I found myself sitting in a juvenile prison facility. For 6 months, I was sober in the facility. As soon as I was released, I was right back on alcohol. I stuck with strictly alcohol for over 32 years, but it didn't mean that I had sobriety, only that I wasn't using illegal drugs. In the summer of 2022, I was reintRoduceD to my old friend cocaine. And by August of 2022 I was using drugs I hadn't done before. You see, at the time of my incarceration, Crystal meth was a brand new drug. By August of 2022, meth was available everywhere, and I was becoming addicted. I would have sold my soul if it meant getting meth. I was homeless and literally living under a bridge and the meth helped me forget my circumstances. I was moved to a shelter in another city, but meth was just as available in the homeless shelter as it was on the street. So I was still using. I also had Crack cocaine readily available. After spending over a month in the shelter, I heard an announcement that would change my life for the better. It was said that something called Fresh Start was in the chapel, and I chose to ask for more information. I walked in and sat down to be informed that it is a sober living program. I agreed to give it a chance, and I was placed in an actual house with a bed for me, and people willing to make sure I have things I need. Things like food, cigarettes, and support to help me get and stay sober. I can proudly say that I am currently beyond 30 days of sobriety. I can't say that it has been an easy journey, but I feel better than I can ever remember feeling in my life. I will be keeping this page updated as I make this journey. I hope that might inspire even one person to choose sobriety over jail, death, or institutions. I invite anyone who reads this to message me if you're struggling with addiction, but to also seek out AA or NA meetings in your own areas. There is strength in unity, and together we can help each other beat the addiction. I'm not a professional, but I am still in the trenches battling this disease with anyone else who is ready to put in the effort to live a sober life.