HI HAPPY NEW YEAR- mediocre nat and r having a night out and r saying goodbye after nat drops her off but not saying she loves her and nat is like ?? hello??
hello thats very cute and in character but i am so tired ive been ready to collapse for like over a day so whatever tf im writing after this is what ur getting
This Friday date night goes a lot better than Nat's McDonald's fuckery from last week. You take her to that bar she likes near work, paying for the french fries you shared and the first two rounds. There was some game playing on the TV that you don't really follow but Nat clearly does because she laughs every time one of the teams fails. You don't think she really has a sports team she roots for and she admits she just picks the one with nicer uniforms to care about anytime sports comes on the TV.
When her team of the night wins, she plants a kiss on you that has someone at the bar hollering. You wince when she pulls away to glower at the man.
After that, you'd looped your arm around hers and you'd had a nice walk through the park. Skipped rocks in the pond. She had done a better job. In character, of course, but annoying nonetheless.
Tomorrow, she leaves for a mission, so she has to head to the tower tonight to pack up her gear and you've got an empty house for the foreseeable future.
It's sad.
You spend the car ride to your house gripping her hand and staring at the streetlights. Nat turns up the radio and taps the steering wheel to the beat of the song.
Nat leaps out of the car the moment she pulls into your driveway while you twist around to grab your tote bag from the backseat. When Nat comes and opens your door for you, you smile and take her hand.
Still, there's a sense of melancholy falling over you already. You sigh for the fifteenth time tonight and Nat just squeezes your fingers.
"I'll be back before you know it," she says into your shoulder while you fish your keys out of your bag.
"Now I have to take the bus to work," you say, sullenly.
"Tony would probably get you a car service if you asked."
You huff. Sometimes, you can't tell if she's fucking with you or if she's really that dense. One of the downsides of how casual the two of you are with each other, how often you poke fun at each other.
"What?" she huffs when you stomp to the living room to throw your bag on the couch.
"Now I have to fuck myself if I get horny." You spin quickly to glower at her. "And don't even say anything about Tony. We both know you'd probably commit some sort of atrocity if I ever did that just because you're emotionally constipated."
Nat scowls too. "Pot kettle black much."
The both of you squint at each other for a few long moments before you give in--always you first--and cross the distance to where she's leaning in your doorway.
Nat watches, impassive, as you pick up her hands. Lets you tug her closer to your body. "You know I own a cellphone, right?"
"Phone sex?" you mumble into her shoulder. "On the job?"
You can basically hear her eye roll. "No. You are so not getting off while I'm gone. But you don't have to act like I've got a terminal illness just because I'm going on a business trip."
Business trip. As if her business trip isn't some life-endangering superspy mission in god-knows-where, Europe, involving superhumans and, like, missiles.
"Come on," she says, pulling back so she can bump your chin up with your linked hands. "Send me pictures of your meals or whatever the hell normal people do."
"You'd just leave me on read," you grumble.
"I'll send you pictures of MREs so you can ignore me too." She's aiming for levity.
You are too down in the dumps to do anything but force a tiny smile and lean in for a quick kiss. She has to go soon. Too soon.
Nat tilts her head to catch your eyes. There's a hint of concern on her face. "Back before you know it."
"Don't break into my house again," you say, hoping your smile is more convincing this time. She's a superhero. No need to worry about a clingy girlfriend.
"No promises." She presses in for another kiss before stepping back, releasing your hands. "Bye, baby."
"Okay," you say with a heaving sigh, leaning on your door. Usually, you would watch her get in her car, wave at her through the window, and then disappear down the street.
Today, Nat does not move an inch. Looks at you expectantly.
She raises her eyebrows. "...bye."
You frown. "Bye?" you say slowly.
Still, she waits.
"Don't die," you offer. No movement. "...I would be sad."
Nope.
"I might even cry."
"Jesus," Nat growls out, spinning on her heel and storming off your porch. She's actually mad. You can tell.
You fumble with the door, making sure it's unlocked, before chasing after Nat. She's already at the wheel by the time you're knocking on her window.
She gives the wheel a look so searing, you're surprised it still has the gall to exist. Then, she rubs at her eye with an aggravated fist. Then, the window rolls down and she looks over at you with a tired look.
"What did I do?" you ask immediately, hands curling over the car door.
"Nothing."
You reach out to touch her cheek, something inside your chest aching something fierce when she flinches. "Nat," you say softly, voice thin from how much this hurts. Unexpected hurt, really. Pot kettle black, indeed. "Come on."
"I," she starts, stops to wince, continues with more gusto: "I will miss you."
"I'll miss you too," you reply quickly, hand tilting her face to look more fully at you. "If you died, I think I would never recover."
"I won't die," she murmurs into your palm, eyes pinned on you now.
"Promise?"
Nat smiles, a small roll to her eyes. "Sure, I promise."
"Okay." You nod, tipping onto your toes and tugging her face in to meet you in a chaste kiss. "I love you, okay? If you break your promise, I'll kill you."
Nat looks at you like you've hung the moon and the stars in the sky. Disguised, of course, by a wry shake of the head. "Haven't broken a promise to you yet. Won't start now. But also that made no sense."
"Get off my property, truther."
Nat grins, then, yanks you in for another hard kiss before letting you back up a few steps.
Her taillights disappear around the bend. Your heart feels heavy in your chest. She'll be back before you know it.
Dozens of NYC Subway riders, fresh off a Robyn concert, singing “Dancing On My Own” while waiting for the E train. (Video by Triszh Hermogenes)
Warnings: men, swearing, canon typical violence, eventual smut
She was a spy. She lived in the realm of rumors and secrets. It was hard to know what wasn’t a front.
Part One - Whispers
Part Two
Part Three
Black Widow Movie [Deleted Scenes]
Steve *talking to the team*: Since we’re talking physical capabilities, on a scale of 1-10, how flexible are you?
Bucky: Why do you need to know that?
Steve: To measure how well you can bend out of the way of projectiles.
Wanda: *Does the back bend*
Natasha: *Does some impossible ballet poses*
Y/N: Does it count When Natasha bends me ove-
Steve: NO!
Day 4: breath play
Melina Vostokoff x reader
Warnings: 18+ smut, breath play, light humiliation / degradation, mommy kink, mild power exchange
Summary: Melina’s always willing to try whatever you suggest. Sometimes, she ends up really liking it.
Naive reader, but hey, it’s fine.
It started out as a simple request to shake things up in the bedroom. Not that you and Melina weren’t always adventurous.
You two used toys, regularly. You switched responsibility of who would lead. You had sex whenever and wherever you wanted. Sex wasn’t boring.
But, you wanted to try something new.
On one of you regularly scheduled girls nights, one of your friends had mentioned that she enjoyed being choked. You tried to play down your interest, but as she explained it, you couldn’t help the excitement building in you.
Melina was surprised when you brought it up, having to stop brushing her teeth to ensure you were serious. You backtracked almost immediately, but she stopped you, gently assuring you that together, you’d look into it.
Many forums, blogs, and conversations later, the two of you had finally come up with a plan.
That’s how you found yourself here: naked, on your back, clutching at Melina’s wrist as she squeezed your throat while three fingers pounded into your cunt without mercy.
“Oh kitten,” she purred, dangerous eyes glittering with amusement. “You don’t look like you want to breath too badly.”
You nodded your head as vigorously as you could, mouth slack and eyes blinking rapidly.
Melina tsked, loosening the pressure for just a moment; enough time for you to suck in a breath before constricting and forcing the air to stay in your lungs.
“Your pussy‘s soaked, little girl.” You groaned at the slur, fresh arousal slipping down your thighs. “Dirty thing gets off on being treated like she’s nothing, doesn’t she?”
Her fingers curled up, causing you to gurgle under her hand, your cry stuck.
“Gonna come for mommy, kitten? Soak mommy’s hand like a good whore?”
When her thumb reach up and brushed your clit, you were gone. Your body shook, hips moving without rhythm as you fell from your high, spilling all over her hand.
Her grip on your neck fell, fingertips dancing over your heated skin as you sucked in as much air as you could.
Melina slipped her fingers out of you and wiped them off on the sheets before kissing you sweetly. “How are you feeling, solnyshkuh?”
“Good,” you croaked with a goofy smile. “That was, really good. Thank you.”
Your girlfriend kissed you again, licking your top lip as she pulled away. “You can thank me by putting your tongue to good use,” she purred, crawling up your chest.
You were happy to oblige.
the holidays with older!nat
Angsty fic w nat? When we were young by adele is the plot tho 😏
a/n: this is the first time i've written angst with no happy ending so enjoy😭
warnings: angst (no happy ending)
pairing: natasha romanoff x reader
summary: after a year of be ignored and shut out, the reader decides its time to leave nat, no matter how much it hurts
translations: detka=baby
words: 1.2k | natasha x reader masterlist | navigation post
likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated and welcomed <3
You woke up to an empty bed, again. You weren’t surprised, you had woken up to an empty bed every day for the past year. Nat was too busy working, hoping, searching for a solution, a way to bring everybody back. After the blip occurred, Nat turned cold, towards everyone. The redhead stays at her desk day and night, she barely paid you any attention. You had told her time and time again that she couldn't fix every problem on the face of the Earth. She refused to listen.
It hurt seeing Nat turn into a shell of her former self and you often found yourself reminiscing on old memories. You two used to go on adventures, you wanted to show her all your favorite places. You took her to amusement parks, beaches, and to your favorite parks. You used to have movie nights at least once a week, you showed her all your favorites and she showed you hers.
You missed her. You missed her raspy morning voice saying she loved you, how she would gently rub circles on your back when you were feeling overwhelmed, how she would throw her head back laughing at all your jokes.
But that Natasha was long gone. That Natasha was replaced by one who never said more than three words to you, one who never leaves the compound, one that no longer laughed at anything.
“Natasha,” you said more sternly than usual. The redhead didn’t even acknowledge you, she just kept typing. “Natasha!” You yelled this time. The redhead looked up at you with zero expression in her eyes. “You know it’s not your fault right? The blip. It’s not your fault.” You said for the millionth time this year. The redhead just sighed and went back to typing on her computer.
For the past year, you had been giving her space, reassurance, anything she could possibly need. But she just didn’t seem to care. You loved her so much, more than anything or anyone, but staying here with her was destroying you.
With tears in your eyes, you stormed out of the room and retreated back into your bedroom, you didn’t think you could even call it you and Nat’s bedroom anymore.
You looked around the room, the one filled with pictures. Ones from all your adventures. Ones from when you two were both younger when the world wasn’t in chaos.
You missed the simple days, the ones before aliens invaded New York. The ones before killer robots made a city fly. You missed just being able to hang out with Nat when you two could do what you wanted when you wanted to.
When you were younger things were easier, but now, nothing was easy.
-
Months passed and nothing changed. Nat just sat and stared at her computer, getting more and more distant every day. You were lucky if she spoke to you once a week nowadays. You yearned for her, all you wanted was to feel her touch again or to hear her beautiful voice.
You knew the good days were over. You knew Nat would never move on from this, not unless she miraculously found a way to reverse the blip.
You wished you could live in the photos in your bedroom. The photos of you and Nat laughing so hard that you could barely breathe. The ones where you two-starred lovingly into each others eyes. But you couldn’t, as much as you wished you could, you couldn’t live in photographs.
For months now you had entertained the thought of leaving the compound, of leaving Natasha. Every time you thought about it, the guilt of leaving Nat ate you alive. You couldn’t leave her, not when she was like this.
But you also couldn’t stay, not anymore. Staying was killing you. Loving her when she showed no sign that she loved you was destroying you. So as much as it hurt, you knew you had to leave.
You packed your things from around the compound without Nat even noticing. She was too busy working to notice you were taking all your things. You could have just walked out the front door without her noticing if you wanted to. But you thought you at least owed her a goodbye and you hoped she would give you some closure.
“Natasha,” you said in an attempt to grab her attention. She didn’t even look up, “Natasha I’m leaving.” No response. “Natasha I’m leaving and I’m not coming back this time.” The redhead immediately looked up at you, “What?”
“I can’t sit here and be a ghost in my own house anymore Natasha.” The redhead stared at you puzzled, “I don’t-”
“You have been ignoring my existence for over a year now! You don’t talk to me, you don’t come to bed, you don’t ever leave that damn computer!” You yelled, trying to hold back tears, you couldn’t let her see you cry, not now. “Y/N I’m sorry I just-”
“Look I know you have a lot going on right now and I know you have a lot on your plate, but you don’t make time for me anymore and it’s exhausting loving someone who clearly doesn’t care about you,” the tears started flowing down your face, over a year of emotions exploding out.
“I do love you, I love you so much, Y/N you hold me together,” Natasha said as tears formed in her eyes. “See, saying that you love me and showing me you love me are two different things.”
Natasha let out a sob, she didn’t want to be left alone. “Please don’t go, I’ll be better, I promise.”
“I can’t stay anymore, I want to believe you, but I’m tired Nat,” you said through your sobs. You advanced toward the door and for the first time in a long long while Natasha got up from her desk and ran toward you. The redhead hugged you from behind, “I can’t do this without you.”
“Natasha, please,” you cried as you melted into her touch. God, you missed her hugs. “I miss the way things were when we were younger, what happened to the adventures, the laughs, the spontaneous dates,” you spilled out, her hugs always made you open up.
“I miss that too,” Nat sobbed out, almost collapsing to the floor.
The two of you stood in silence, Natasha still gripping onto you tightly. You both stood and appreciated what was what you both knew was the last time you would ever touch one another.
“Nat I need to go,” you said in a barely audible whisper. “I know,” Nat said, equally as quiet. The redhead slowly released her grip on you.
You opened the door and took a deep breath, “Goodbye Natasha.” You closed the door before you could hear her say anything in response. Immediately, you fell to the ground sobbing, Natasha was your soulmate, your other half. Leaving her hurt you more than any wound you have ever had.
You thought one day you two would get married, settle down, get some of the life Steve was always telling you to get. But that wasn’t you and Nat’s story, not in this lifetime at least.
Maybe in another lifetime Nat.
I Told You
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
(18+ Only) Warnings: mommy kink, oral-sex on strap on (nat receiving), face-fucking, spitting kink, praise kink, degradation, spanking, choking, hair-pulling, dub-con (?), tummy-bulge kink, overstimulation, cum-filled strap on
A/N: hello! this is a second part to Mile High Club! it’s thot hours, so i hope you whores enjoy this one. happy reading <3
anon requested: My good lord. I need a Part II to Mile High Club, where Nat is absolutely destroying R with her strap🥵🥵
Mile High Club | I Told You
Summary: Natasha is a woman of her word.
Word Count: 1.8K
| masterlist | request rules/guidelines | wips |
please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work. reblogs, likes, and comments are always welcome. <3
You hit the floor with a loud thud as Natasha shoved you into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.
You stayed on your knees, knowing all too well that your punishment would worsen if you moved an inch.
You watched as Natasha slowly tore her clothes off, purposely taking a little longer than usual, to see if you’d disobey her, but to her surprise, you didn’t.
Even as she walked over to the closet and pulled out your favorite strap-on, attaching the harness to her waist, you didn’t budge.
Natasha was impressed, but she wasn’t going to give you the satisfaction of knowing that.
The redhead stalked over to you, where you still kneeled in front of the bed. You let out a squeal when she harshly gripped your hair, pulling your face towards the toy.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
“Suck.”
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
You didn’t have to be told twice as you gripped the base of the cock, running your tongue around the tip teasingly, but a grunt from Natasha and a needy thrust of her hips, put a stop to your teasing.
Nat shoved the entire length into your mouth in one swift motion, smiling at the sound of your gags as the strap hit the back of your throat, tears springing to your eyes quickly.
“You better get to work and make mommy cum before I really give you something to cry about and fuck you with no preparation.”
You focused on breathing through your nose, nodding against her cock before pulling your mouth completely off of the strap, slamming back onto the strap.
Each time the strap hit the back of your throat, the base of the cock would rub against Nat’s clit, providing her pleasure as well.
Her moans encouraged you to keep going. You didn’t want to disappoint your mommy. So, you took a deep breath through your nose and took the entire length into your mouth, and held it there for a few seconds.
Natasha looked down and groaned at the sight of you on your knees, droll trailing down your mouth and chin, your beautiful gags filling the silence of the room.
You pulled back halfway and repeatedly slammed down onto her cock, sucking as hard as you could. Even though you knew Nat couldn’t feel it, what you did know was that she went crazy over the sounds, and you were right.
The redhead gripped both sides of your head and began to pound the strap into your mouth, fucking your face as fast as she could.
“Fuck, baby. Mommy’s gonna cum for you. You’re so good with your mouth. Gonna fill that slutty mouth with my cum.”
Natasha muttered out and with a few more thrusts, she came with a silent moan. You felt the fake cum fill your mouth and hastily swallowed everything.
You looked up and watched as your girlfriend’s head flew back and her eyes fluttered shut, the hands on your head were shaking as she was overcome with bliss.
When the Russian relaxed, she yanked you off of her cock, reveling in the coughs that followed after the action.
She smirked in satisfaction. The thought of your throat being sore tomorrow from her cock had Natasha eager to fuck you, and that’s exactly what she planned on doing.
“You look so pretty like this, honey. Covered in spit, cum, and tears like a dumb whore. Open.”
You opened your mouth at Natasha’s command. She gripped your jaw and spit into your mouth, wiping away a few drops of cum that you failed to swallow.
“Swallow, strip, and get on all fours. Face down and ass up, baby.”
You immediately swallowed and stood up. You tore your clothing off at lightning speed before practically jumping onto the bed in excitement. Natasha let out a dark chuckle as you did so.
“Oh, I wouldn’t be too excited, slut. I’m gonna destroy this sweet pussy.”
You closed your eyes and shuttered as Natasha teasingly rubbed the strap against your slit.
“Please, mommy. Please fuck me with your cock.” You begged, but you quickly learned that was a bad move, when Natasha’s hand landed a hard smack against your ass.
She spanked you a few more times, her blows getting harder as she continued. By the time she was finished, you were shuddering and crying as she rubbed the red skin.
“Whores don’t get to beg. You take what mommy gives you and deal with it. Understood?”
You nodded against the bed, your face buried into the mattress. You made sure to mumble a ‘yes mommy’ to avoid more spanks.
Suddenly, all the air was knocked out of your lungs when Natasha slammed the cock deep into your entrance.
Her hands gripped your waist tightly as she set off with a brutal pace. The sounds of skin slapping and your whorish moans resounded throughout the bedroom.
“Fuck, baby. No matter how many times I stretch out this pussy with my big cock, you’re still so tight. Such a cockwhore.”
Natasha grunted out as she continued her relentless thrusting. You were practically bouncing on her dick from the force of her thrusts.
“Your cockwhore, mommy.” You turned your head to the side, your cheek pressed against the plush mattress, as you tried to catch your breath.
Natasha gripped the base of your neck and yanked you up, your back flush against her chest. Her grip was tight as she rutted into you.
“My cockwhore? That’s right, you’re my little slut, nothing but a hole for mommy to fuck. Isn’t that right, princess?”
You were panting, feeling lightheaded from the slight restriction she provided to your airways.
“Yes! Yes, mommy. All my holes are yours to fuck. Only yours.”
You were completely overtaken by the pleasure. She continued to ram the strap into your pussy and the squelching sounds turned you on even more.
“Cum on mommy’s cock, whore. Let everyone know that I’m the only one who can make you feel this good.”
Natasha’s other hand reached around to rub tight circles onto your clit, the speed of her thrusts increasing until you came around her cock with a loud scream of her name, ‘mommy,’ and some other words the redhead couldn’t understand.
You breathed heavily as Natasha let go of your throat. You didn’t even have the strength to catch yourself. You just let your upper body fall onto the bed as Natasha gripped your hips again, keeping your lower half up for her dick.
Natasha continued pounding into you. She was sweating from the effort it took, but she didn’t care. She’d continue to fuck you, even if it was the last thing she’d ever do.
She admired the way your ass would bounce against her pelvis each time she bottomed out. She loved the redness of your skin, her handprints clearly visible from her slaps.
One of her hands slid up your spine, absolutely loving the way your back was arched, taking every inch of the cock desperately.
You winced as her fingernails dug into the skin of your back, scratching down your back. That was definitely going to leave behind some marks, not that you cared anyway.
You loved when Natasha would leave marks on your body. It was as if she was claiming you. She wanted everyone to know that she owned you and that was a huge turn-on.
“Your pussy is so desperate for mommy. I wish you could see how beautiful my cock looks inside of you, moya lyubov (my love).”
You whined when Natasha slapped your ass each time she thrust into you. The pain was nothing compared to the pleasure. So, your squeals turned into moans.
It didn’t take long for you to fall over the edge again. You let out an animalistic scream as you came. Your entire body froze and you swear you stopped breathing for a second as you succumbed to the pleasure.
Natasha’s thrusts slowed and you let out a sigh of relief. You thought she was done, but oh, you were so fucking wrong.
The redhead picked you up and flipped you onto your back, her cock still inside of you. She began to fuck you once more, and you looked up at her pleadingly.
“Mommy, I- I can’t take anymore. Please stop.” You begged your girlfriend, but she didn’t listen. She continued to thrust into you roughly, one of her hands coming up and wrapping around your throat.
“You can and you will. Didn’t you say you were mommy’s cockwhore? And you’re begging me to stop fucking you? You’re pathetic.”
Natasha’s thrusts slowed, but they were still rough as she pounded into you. She was hitting all of your sweet spots with precision, her other hand finding its way to your hip.
You were extremely sensitive at this point. Each thrust had you twitching and wincing slightly. It had become too much, but you wanted to please her so bad, so you gave in.
Natasha’s eyes lit up when she saw the bulge of her dick prodding through your stomach. She loved how deeply she could fuck you; it was exhilarating.
“Mommy’s cock is so deep inside your pussy, honey.” The redhead growled out as the hand on your hip traveled up your body. She moaned as she felt the bulge of her dick in your stomach. It drove her wild and she was desperate to have you cumming against her again.
“Mommy’s gonna fill your pussy up with her cum. Gonna make you my little cumdump.”
Natasha grunted as her hand reached down and rubbed your clit quickly. Your eyes shut open, your knuckles turning white as you gripped the sheets tightly. You were biting your lips so hard that you wouldn’t be surprised if you drew blood.
“Come on, honey. Coat mommy’s cock with your cum.” Natasha leaned down, still thrusting into you as she whispered filthily into your ear.
Your vision blurred as you came. You were so exhausted that you couldn’t bring yourself to scream as you hit euphoria. Your back rose off of the mattress, your neck straining from the angle.
The feeling of warm cum filling you up had you shuttering below the redhead. Natasha kept thrusting into you, pushing more of the cum deep inside of your pussy.
You whined when Natasha pulled the strap out of your cunt, the sound of your wetness filling the room. The redhead threw the strap to some spot in the room, reminding herself to clean it later.
You stared up at your girlfriend through glossy eyes as she hovered over you. Natasha licked some of the drool that had escaped your lips with the tip of her tongue and moaned.
She stared down at you with a cocky smirk. You were completely fucked out, your body drenched in sweat as your hair clung to your forehead.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
“I told you I’d fuck you till you begged me to stop.”
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
───────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────────
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Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Word Count: 561 words
A/N: Have forgotten how to write because I have the mind of a fish. trying to get back into it. Fluff.
You notice one day that Natasha is insecure.
It’s almost funny to you, the concept is so surreal.
Her confidence is why you started talking.
She’s driving you home and she glances over.
Her smile is nervous and you don’t understand why.
Before she pulls up outside your building, she tells you thank you.
Her voice is hoarse and you’re surprised.
You give her a gentle smile back.
Your eyes meet.
Understanding settles between you.
Natasha kisses you.
Your voice is hoarse when you murmur thank you too.
Natasha stays over that night.
Your lives starts tangling together.
It feels good.
She taps your waist when she walks around you.
The gesture is light as air, it makes you feel settled.
Natasha sings when she cooks.
You ask her if it makes the food taste better. She sticks her tongue out and offers you a forkful.
Natasha tells you that you’re shit at video games.
Her voice is so pitying that you feel like you’ve been diagnosed with ineptitude.
She plays Mario Kart with you every single night.
She teases you about your driving, but her smile is excited.
She keeps asking you to play again.
She straddles you on the sofa and tells you that you’re a danger behind the wheel.
You are her friend.
You are more than that too.
But, being her friend feels special.
You want to celebrate every part of loving her.
She trusts you.
You don’t realise at first.
She starts telling you about the missions she goes on.
At first, she only tells you vague locations.
Then, she starts to debrief little fragments.
One day, you find her caught in a silent storm of tears.
She lets you hold her.
Things are different then.
She invites you to sleep over more and more.
You start splitting your time between apartments.
One afternoon, you arrive earlier than expected.
Natasha glances guiltily at the sofa when she lets you in.
You see your usual pillow lying there.
You realise that she holds it when you’re not here.
That night you tell her that you love her.
Her smile is wide.
Her eyes fill with relieved tears.
She was waiting for you.
Natasha starts holding your hand when you walk together.
She asks your opinion about everything.
She starts playing your favourite music.
Natasha gives you her favourite book.
The pages are worn and you feel like she’s written on every page.
You borrow her laptop and learn that she’s looking at new apartments.
You think she’s moving away.
Natasha finds you crying.
She starts crying too.
You’ve never seen her so scared.
Her words are disjointed when she tries to tell you about family.
About what she’s never really had.
About what you mean to her.
Natasha tries to tell you that she wants to live with you.
She can’t meet your eyes.
Her fingers are tapping, and the sound slips from rhythmic to compulsive.
You wonder if she’s counting out your last seconds together.
You watch her wait for you to leave.
Things slide into place.
Your voice is careful, but it’s also certain.
You ask if you can be her family now.
Natasha cries harder.
You touch her tapping fingers and they stop moving abruptly.
You kiss her knuckles.
Natasha is not a time or place.
Natasha is not fleeting.
Natasha is your family.
Sera they/them |adult| I apparently write smut now so a reminder that your media consumption is your own responsibility :)
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