A Physicist, A Mathematician, And An Engineer Are All Found Guilty Of Treason And Sentenced To Death

A physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer are all found guilty of treason and sentenced to death by guillotine.

The priest reads them their last rites, then the king orders the executioner to kill the physicist.

The executioner offers the physicist two choices: would he like a hood on or off, and would he like to be executed face up or face down. The physicist replies, “I spent my whole life studying the heavens. I would like to face the sky, with the hood on like night!”

The executioner positions the physicist and drops the blade… … and it stops inches from the physicists’ neck.

The priest cries, “It’s a sign from God! This man is innocent! Set him free!”, so the king pardons him, and orders the mathematician executed next.

The executioner offers the mathematician the same choices: would he like a hood on or off, and would he like to be executed face up or face down. The mathematician replies, “They all result in an equivalent state, but hood off face down is the most elegant solution!”

The executioner positions the mathematician and drops the blade… … and it stops inches from the mathematician’s neck.

The priest cries, “It’s a sign from God! This man is innocent! Set him free!”, so the king pardons him, and orders the engineer executed next.

The executioner offers the engineer the same choices: would he like a hood on or off, and would he like to be executed face up or face down. The engineer replies, “I have always loved machines, and there is no more elegant a killing machine than the guillotine. I will spend my final moments marveling in its beauty!”

The executioner positions the engineer and, as he’s about to drop the blade, the engineer shouts:

“I see the problem!”

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More Posts from Shamrockskullscarabs and Others

2 years ago

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2 years ago

"Your handwriting. the way you walk. which china pattern you choose. it's all giving you away. everything you do shows your hand. everything is a self portrait. everything is a diary."

Chuck Palahniuk


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2 years ago

Zombie setting where the undead are drawn towards unhygienic scents, so survivors constantly bathe to avoid being eaten.

Zombies are docile when adorned with flowers.

Settlements overgrown with herbs and flora.

Barely any banditry; everyone is focused on farming and gathering.

Different human factions and towns named after flowers like Lilies, Orchids, Roses, etc.

Instead of immediately killing an infected survivor, they’re given special funeral rites - the zombie is covered with flowers to keep them calm, and  allowed to walk out from the settlement to join the hordes.

2 years ago

Apparently there's an evolutionary theory that the reason why Africa has so much wild big-ass megafauna while the big-ass megafauna on all the other continents went extinct is because they evolved right beside humans, and knew us well enough to not get hunted into extinction.

So while everything from giant koalas to giant sloths barely had the time to think "what the fuck is that" before getting pierced by a spear and getting their bone marrow gently fed to babies and the toothless elderly, Africa had elephants who had all the time in the world to learn to tell apart human languages and teach the next generations of their herd which human sounds mean that this tribe won't hurt you, but humans who make this kind of sounds are a danger. And hippos learned to conclude "I think I'll fuck up this two-legged weird shit on sight."


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2 years ago

“The best aid for supplication is humility.”

— Imam Ali (a.s.), Ghurar al-Hikam, no. 9945


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2 years ago
The Argent 
The Argent 
The Argent 

The Argent 

A Ghoster mini-comic. 

Read online


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2 years ago

Sound on for the cutest coo.


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2 years ago

Book Review: Informania: Ghosts by Christopher Maynard (2000)

Book Review: Informania: Ghosts By Christopher Maynard (2000)

Title: Informania: Ghosts

Author: Christopher Maynard

ISBN13: 9780744577105

Informania: Ghosts offers a brief introduction to everything ghost-related from ghost hunting to films about ghosts. Suitable for young readers and enthusiastic adults alike, the book is divided into five sections:

An abridged version of Algernon Blackwood’s “The Empty House”. Short but suspenseful nevertheless.

A scrapbook by famed ghost hunter Dee Bunker detailing her findings and favorite cases. Dee talks about her experience, her golden rules of ghost hunting, and more.

A tour booklet through the National Museum of Phoney Ghosts. Led by Sir Ghastlie Mones, visitors will see how some of the best ghost sightings can also be the worst scams imaginable.

A Fright Night film guide for all ghost-related movies. Not necessarily horror, but the listing is quite interesting no less, with line-ups like The Cat and the Canary (1927), The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942), and A Chinese Ghost Story (1987).

A handy reference guide to all things ghost-related such as a timeline of hauntings, a map detailing different variants of spooks, and even an internet listing for further reading.

The book itself is quite entertaining and good for early exposure to the world of the paranormal. However, since it was published in 2000, some of the information present within the book may be outdated.

Happy Hauntings!


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2 years ago

A kitchen is a research lab for new ways to say I love you


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