And Why Won't They?

HI shefaali got to read your blog. Amazingly written and very erotic to. Would request you to please take time and complete after part 4 of the incident of you having it done with your stag the first time

Thank you very much for the kind compliment. I will do it someday. Just haven’t been able to make time to do it. Thank you for taking the time to go through my blog.

Thanks for considering my request, super excited and hugely turned on already ;) waiting for the rest of the story...

I am writing this for you. Enjoy.

For some reason I am not able to send you direct messages. Just have a small confession to make - I recently cheated on my fiancée and it all came out bad and nasty - she got really badly hurt and i just now stopped spiralling down in guilt and shame and agony. I wish she heals soon and the love and trust regrows. I had posted and reposted a lot of shit so far, 99.99% promiscuous. The last reply of yours to a booksandquotes blog post was so deep and beautiful, could not resist writing to you.

I am not sure why you aren’t able to send a direct message, but I am happy to receive messages here, rather than directly to me. To begin with that quote wasn’t mine. I just re-blogged that quote because like you, I also found it a very meaningful one.

If I go slightly deeper into the situation you described, I think you are confusing between two things. It is one thing to read about someone else’s life in a blog and fantasize about it. It is quite another to accept one’s own principles and be at peace with own conscience. The trick is to be able to reconcile with what YOU want. It is not about seeing someone else’s life and imagining enacting their part. It never works…in fact, as you may have experienced it, it can be devastating. One of the reasons why it can be devastating is because when someone is trying to copy another’s life, he/she is only able to copy the physical manifestation of the other’s life…what one doesn’t realize, or rather get to know is what the other person went through in his/her mind when he/she committed to that act (the mere manifestation of which excites the audience). Thus the picture the reader gets is only half…only the physical part. He doesn’t get to know of the emotional turmoil that the character has gone through.

Naturally, when one imitates without having the full story, set-back is obvious. Coming back to the concept of cheating, one possible reason why I may have been able to survive in my lifestyle is because I have never labelled myself a cheater to any of my men…i don’t care what others label me, they are not living my life, I am, and I am very clear to my conscience. So far (and I don’t know how far it will be sustainable, so far it has), I have been able to compartmentalize ‘love’, ‘lust’ and ‘love & sex’ and never overlapped them.

So, please never make the mistake of falling for something that you do not possess full information of, as it could well lead to shame and agony and severe mistrust. I sincerely hope that with time you are reunited with your loved one and…and you don’t fall into the same hole again.

Cheers.

This hurried, no time to waste, let’s get to action ASAP is a typical reminder of my bf from the swimming club. Hand holding apart, no sooner am i inside his apartment, I would find myself pushed to the wall with him beginning to pleasure me.

Dear lady you are a jewel in the crown of all womanhood. When your followers brashly ask you for sex you rebuff them in the most gentle and respectful ways possible. You are a woman who TRULY loves men in every possible way. I have no question for you, merely applause.

Response:

I am fairly inexperienced to the ways of life. There is but one thing (amongst few others) that I realized about how to deal with most situations. In most cases people instigate and want me to react so that they can react again. An easier (and usually more polite) way is to bring myself out of the situation by not getting into an argument at all.

Only yesterday morning, I received a ‘warm’, ‘welcoming’ message which simply stated ‘GM chut’ (for those not from India, the chut is one of the many cruder Indian words for what the westerners refer to as the pussy or the cunt).

It is obvious that my learned reader has probably read a few of my posts and assumed he could refer to me by that name. But does that affect me? It is his perspective of who he felt I am, and I haven’t been contracted to set the public’s perceptions. Who knows whether my own perception is right or not? If not then who am I to correct others’?

I am thankful for the kind message that you have sent me here and I wish you a very happy day.

Good to see an Indian women in Tumblr Very bold and sensual

I think it’s that mindset that classifies the Indian woman as different that needs to change. Indian women have always been expressive and if you ever actually read kama sutra you’ll know how advanced Indian women were globally.

Unfortunately, this so called social reforming by the old and outdated leaders pushed the Indian woman to the role of a demure wife and baby maker.

But that’s not what an Indian woman is, or for that matter that's not what a woman is.

You haven't mentioned about the people you saw in bed together when you returned home early.. I'm still curious about it

It's too embarrassing to mention about on the public page. Please message me separately.

I loved reading this article. It helped me to find clarity within myself. Thank you.

Lexi the Hotwife

December 2, 2016

Most of my blog posts are aimed at helping people enter this magical relationship enriching Alternative Marriage Lifestyle.  I do this as my way of paying it forward because when my husband and I were looking for real truthful information on how this Lifestyle works on a day to day basis for an average couple, we got lost in the caption writers fantasies about how they wished it worked.

Just so you know, I’m not saying it doesn’t work that way for some couples, but then most experienced Hotwives don’t need any advice from me about how to go about it.  As for me I don’t get off on having men cum all over my face, or being spit roasted.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to get up on my soapbox again.  I’m going in a different direction today.  As part of the coaching process, once a couple has made the decision to go forward with the Hotwife Lifestyle, and the wife is going to open up her end of the marriage to date other men, how does she do that?

I have sex with men I meet to fulfill a fantasy that my husband has of sharing me with other men for the benefit of making our own relationship better and stronger by sharing all the details with him.  Do I enjoy having a personal sex life of my own that is independent of my marriage to Michael?  You bet your ass!

When a sexy guy is flirting with me it is a huge turn on knowing I can take it as far as I want because it’s what my husband wants me to do.  I can’t imagine any woman who truly understands the benefits of this Lifestyle who wouldn’t want to live it every day of her life!

So how do I do it? Not every woman can meet men the way I do.  Most of the women I work with have a unique set of circumstances and I help them on an individual basis but today I am going to explain how I do it.

Michael and I have a guide line that we call my Hotwife Rules of Engagement.  It’s designed to keep me safe and it addresses something that I agreed to early on.  Michael is/was not comfortable with me dating one guy over and over as if I was his girlfriend.  His thinking is from a fear that I might accidentally bond emotionally with a “boyfriend” type of relationship.

Personally I was not as worried about that as Michael, but being a Hotwife is no different than any other aspect of marriage that requires give and take to make it work, so that is our agreement.

I preach that that a Hotwife needs to have total autonomy over the dating process so that she stays inside her comfort zone without input from her husband about who she can date.

I get asked all the time how I do it.  How do I meet men?  What do I do when I meet Mr. Tonight?  Where do we go?  What do I say?

I am an urban dweller. I live in a high rise condo in downtown. Within a five minute drive there several upscale hotels.  Some have lounges and some have lobby bars.  We also belong to a supper club that is attached by a sky bridge to one of the hotels.

A woman that is out of practice dating and or flirting who is entering this Lifestyle with no recent practical experience doesn’t realize how simple it is to meet men and let herself get picked up.  All she needs is the right attitude, an outgoing engaging smile, a willingness to make eye contact, and to act like she wants to be there.  The men do all the heavy lifting.

If you meet a guy with whom you feel sexual chemistry, let’s call him Mr. Tonight, the only thing you have to do is not send him a negative aura, and don’t say no.  It’s as simple as that.

When I am out at night to meet someone I typically go out alone.  I may go to the Club and sit at the bar and have a drink.  The standard approach line is “Are you waiting for your husband?”  Or “Is anyone sitting here?”, or any number of simple test questions to gauge my interest. Sometimes they simply sit down and ask if they can buy me a drink.

If I am not interested I do not respond positively and they usually take the hint and move on.  I wear an ankle bracelet.  I wear it whenever I am not working.  I have said many times that it has been my experience that wearing an ankle bracelet serves no useful purpose in identifying me by my status as a Hotwife.  I wear it because occasionally it’s a conversation point, and it makes me feel good about my status as a Hotwife, but having said that, the subject almost never comes up. Men are focused on my wedding rings, not my ankle bracelet!

This is what I think about that.  If I am sitting in a bar without my husband, and I’m wearing my wedding rings, and I am letting a man flirt with me, and I am sending him positive vibes, he doesn’t care if I am a hotwife out hunting, or a bored wife looking for a little excitement outside of her own bedroom.

The only thing he cares about is that he and I are sharing the same space at the same time and he has a shot at soiling a married woman.  It is a fact based on my experience that married men prefer playing with married women.

It is also a fact based on my experience that younger single men prefer to play with older married women. Please feel free to disagree with me if you wish, but keep in mind I said I was referring to my own experiences.

As a side note, my girlfriend Jill, who is divorced, still wears her wedding rings when she goes out for the very same reason but takes it a step further by using them to hide behind if she gets approached by a toad.

The men I target when I am out hunting are upscale professional men that are typically traveling to Tampa on business, which is why I choose the downtown upscale hotel bars.

So let’s say an interesting guy has approached me and he likes what he sees and I like what I see. “Are you waiting for your husband?” He might ask.  If I want him to engage me I make it clear my husband is not in my picture that night.

“No my husband is in Dallas tonight.”  Or, “I’m not really sure where he is, I’m not waiting for anyone, I just decided to stop by for a drink.”

“May I join you?”  He will ask.  I pick my purse up off the empty seat.

If I am only lukewarm I might say something noncommittal like, “I’m just here having a drink.”  That doesn’t tell him anything at all but leaves it open, but in this particular situation I wanted him to join me.

When a married guy meets a married woman in that situation they don’t want to know too much too soon. They ask me chatty questions that are not intrusive like “are you from here?” Or, are you in Tampa on business?”

This gives me a chance to steer the conversation based on how much information/bullshit I share. If I let him start buying me drinks, things will slowly escalate.  Men like to get into my personal space.  If I am sending positive signals they like to get physically closer to me.

If I start talking about being a pissed off wife, men can relate to that and they like to touch me. They pat my hand or my arm or find a few strands of hair to put back in place.  This is a test to see how tolerant I am of physical contact, and depending on the situation and the guy, and the alcohol, I can be pretty tolerant, unless I am groped, which is always a deal killer but very rarely happens in upscale bars.

My knees are also a place that men like to pat and or eventually rest the palm of their hand on. I wonder if that is like a dog marking his territory.  Anyway, if I’m into it I don’t mind unless his hand drifts too far upward.

Like I said, men like to test my tolerance so sometimes it’s just a question of placing my hand over his in a blocking motion.  Men usually take that hint, but if it’s late and I am ready to go to his room I might say something like, “If you are going to keep doing that we need to go someplace else.”

I used that line on a very young man I met in a hotel lounge last January that I wrote about in my blog. I had been telling my bloggers that my success rate was in the 90% range because I knew how to do it now.

When Michael and I had been playing The Chili’s Game my success rate was pitiful, because I didn’t know what I was doing.

My husband called me out on it and wanted me to prove it, so I told him to meet me downtown at 8:30 where Jill worked giving me a 30 minute head start.  I was already practically hooked up by the time he sat down in the lounge.  He got an eyeful.

The young gym rat in town on business was rubbing my leg and I covered his hand and told him he was being very naughty.  He told me that he knew I liked it though and then he kissed me.  I wasn’t expecting it, but it played right into what I was trying to show my husband.

I told him if he was going to keep doing that to me we needed to go somewhere else.  He said, “OK Let’s go up to my room.  Michael watched me leave the bar and get on the elevator with him.

That is not the norm but it does happen that way sometimes.  A more typical close happens when the club closes, and he says “Where can we go now?” He knows where he wants me to go, but is hoping I will give him a hint.  Sometimes I do.  I might say, “Where are you staying?”  He says “I am staying here in the hotel”, or “I am staying across the street in the hotel.”

If I am ready to close the deal all I have to say is, “Do you have one of those little honor bar things in your room?”

It doesn’t matter whether they do or they don’t because they are going to say they do and I am going to go with them to their room.  I’m not going up there for a drink.  I am going up there to have sex with him. We both understand that.  It’s called “Communication”.

Hi Shefaali.. After reading ur blog.. I m intrigued to know how would ur husband react to ur status as a courtesan. Would he appreciate or approve of it.. Feel justifiably proud of his extremely extraordinary wife.. Or would he be a pedestrian male sample and feel crushed?

Although I am firm believer in the hotwife concept, I do not think my husband would have approved of me being a courtesan, I don’t think any man would approve of it unless it is motivated by financial needs.

My husband is fully aware that I wasn’t a virgin on our wedding night. I had the trust in him to admit it to him and he has been wonderfully matured to accept me as a human being, and not as a utopian virgin who he would deflower on his wedding night. We both trust each other enough to look into each other’s eye and admit of our sexual life prior to meeting each other. So, if I have to answer your question above, I think he would neither appreciate it, nor approve of it. He probably would not mind if he came to know that there is one or some selected men that I give my body to for gaining physical pleasure. He has a strong libido and will know what his absence can cause in his wife from a physical perspective. However, being a courtesan is a completely different ball game…lol…’ball’ game indeed.

My husband was/is/will never ever be a ‘pedestrian male sample’ (and I really have a strong objection to that phrase being used for my husband). I do not think he would be crushed, but yeah, actually feel more charged up to reclaim his property to make it his own again. He would know that a ‘law’ will not prevent his wife from leading the life of a courtesan. Probably the only way it could happen is when he pleasures me to that extent where his wife willingly gives up being a courtesan. Jealousy and pettiness is NOT what defines my husband.

He is maturity personified and will act accordingly to bring a situation, any situation under his control. I hope this answers your question.

A Midsummer Afternoon's Reality

Part 2

Contd from Part 1...

This was not one of those swanky, high-end malls in the heart of the city, rather a quieter one. It still had all the trendy brands that one would find in the bigger malls, particularly one chain that I had been thinking about in the past to visit to buy a certain item of which there was a large choice offered there. It is frequented mostly by the localites. As an acknowledgement to the 'attentive' cabbie, I smiled generously at him while alighting. He smiled back too. To stop any further speculation, this really was the last that I saw of him.

As I alighted the cab and climbed the white marbled steps, the glass doors slid open and a powerful whiff of cool air intermingled with a lot of fragrances engulfed me. The doors closed behind me, I looked around at the familiar set of showrooms. I have been here so many times before. But I am sure the next time I would be here, there would be a fond memory that will get attached to my life and I shall not look at this place as the same again. This however was not something I was still aware, but time would be teaching it to me soon. There was only one thing that I required and i was mentally prepared to do only window shopping for the rest. The AC mall with the nice, soft fragrances made me momentarily forget the hot, sweaty summer sun outside. A few more minutes and I felt the cooler than usual sensation at my underarms and along the neckline of my blouse. I realized it's the impact of the cool environment on the sweaty patches. I ran a finger along the edge of the deep-maroon blouse to get a slight relief from that condensing sensation. Being a hot summer noon, the mall was by and large empty, although i was sure that by the evening it will record more footfall. I headed towards the ladies washrooms to set myself right before exploring the mall.

Inside the washroom brightly lit with shaded yellow LED lights, I walked to the mirrors on top of the basins. i was the only one there. I looked at myself as my mind wandered. I felt that despite giving birth to three kids, I have maintained myself not entirely bad. Men still flirt with me, some of the members at my swimming club are always proposing 'dates' to me, I get a hundred Good Morning messages on my WhatsApp every morning from men who seek my companionship, visiting the pubs inevitably meant being asked for a dance and more afterwards, I get invited to my boss' home in the evenings and sometimes on the weekend because he loves to have me over there to relax and unwind, my Uber driver had kept stealing looks at me during which I consciously looked away so that he can continue having his view, my swimming trainer on who I have a big crush on keeps giving me those electrifying 'accidental' touches when we swim in the evenings. I have continued my exercises of running, swimming and practicing yoga very diligently. I felt good as I looked at myself in the mirror. i saw that one drop of sweat hanging on the last edge of my arching left eyebrow, my face looking flushed because of the sweat and heat. I flicked the drop off with my left index finger and pulled a  couple of napkins to dab my face dry. I straightened my open hair once more. Was I smiling? I don’t know, but probably a man would say there was a smile in my steps. It felt good...it felt good. I clicked the washroom door open and stepped back into the mall.

To be continued...

Antony Micallef - Study of an embrace, charcoal on paper.