First Things First. Nice Job With The Blog. Secondly,, You Seem Quite An Interesting. Looking Forward

First things first. Nice job with the blog. Secondly,, you seem quite an interesting. Looking forward to having a cup with you some good day. :)

Thank you.

More Posts from Shefaali-the-thoughts and Others

5 years ago

I appreciate the way you explain your story, it si described in such a good way that everything is happening in front of my eyes. Can I ask which city of this lovely country you belongs?? Let me how can I approach to your stag to have a great evening with you. Tell me plz

Thank you!

6 years ago

Your blog is amazing!! Do your stag’s wife know about your relationship? How many kids do you have?

Thank you for the kind compliment.

My stag isn't married.

7 years ago

Hi Shefaali.. After reading ur blog.. I m intrigued to know how would ur husband react to ur status as a courtesan. Would he appreciate or approve of it.. Feel justifiably proud of his extremely extraordinary wife.. Or would he be a pedestrian male sample and feel crushed?

Although I am firm believer in the hotwife concept, I do not think my husband would have approved of me being a courtesan, I don’t think any man would approve of it unless it is motivated by financial needs.

My husband is fully aware that I wasn’t a virgin on our wedding night. I had the trust in him to admit it to him and he has been wonderfully matured to accept me as a human being, and not as a utopian virgin who he would deflower on his wedding night. We both trust each other enough to look into each other’s eye and admit of our sexual life prior to meeting each other. So, if I have to answer your question above, I think he would neither appreciate it, nor approve of it. He probably would not mind if he came to know that there is one or some selected men that I give my body to for gaining physical pleasure. He has a strong libido and will know what his absence can cause in his wife from a physical perspective. However, being a courtesan is a completely different ball game…lol…’ball’ game indeed.

My husband was/is/will never ever be a ‘pedestrian male sample’ (and I really have a strong objection to that phrase being used for my husband). I do not think he would be crushed, but yeah, actually feel more charged up to reclaim his property to make it his own again. He would know that a ‘law’ will not prevent his wife from leading the life of a courtesan. Probably the only way it could happen is when he pleasures me to that extent where his wife willingly gives up being a courtesan. Jealousy and pettiness is NOT what defines my husband.

He is maturity personified and will act accordingly to bring a situation, any situation under his control. I hope this answers your question.

7 years ago

intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac

there is no woman as beautiful as a woman who is willing to please you, though i am pretty sure u are a sexy bengali beauty but your ultimate beauty is your WAYS…and trust me….its amazing.

__________________________________________ PS: This is a note someone wrote to me…

8 years ago

The first kiss from my bf who I met at my swimming club, the ice breaker, the approval to him that i belong to him, that I am there for him to use freely and in anyway he wanted to, granting of complete and unconditional ownership to him over me.

(This is a reblogged photo and not my own).

shefaali-the-thoughts - Shefaali's memory dump
5 years ago

Love your attitude

7 years ago

The more I read your blog the more I become convinced that you are actually more a cortisan than a hotwife. While I realize there is no king and court involved your philosophy towards sex and social relationships has led me to this conclusion. I have a feeling though that you will disagree and I cannot wait to read the reasons why. As always I truly enjoy your blog and your thoughts. I think it is your mind that truly makes makes you so desirable to me.

Your observation made me think carefully about myself. I think you have a courtesan, and you also have a hotwife…and then you have probably a mix of the two somewhere (maybe a courte-wife [I took the liberty of naming it]). When I look at myself, I definitely have been a hotwife, and then over time (and much to my conscious disagreement towards usage of the term) a courtesan too. I do not know which of the two roles dominate me. I can understand your conclusion is based on ‘what I have shared here’. But then there are so many others (actually what I have shared is a tiny bit of my life) that I haven’t shared and probably won’t either.While I agree with your conclusion, it is however limited to be based on only what has been shared here, and it is not the complete or the whole truth. Having said that I appreciate your effort to make the observation and do applaud your ability to observe and draw conclusions therefrom.:)


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7 years ago

When u post ur pic??

😉I post my pics exactly when you log out and remove them just before you log back in.😉

8 years ago

I loved reading this article. It helped me to find clarity within myself. Thank you.

Lexi the Hotwife

December 2, 2016

Most of my blog posts are aimed at helping people enter this magical relationship enriching Alternative Marriage Lifestyle.  I do this as my way of paying it forward because when my husband and I were looking for real truthful information on how this Lifestyle works on a day to day basis for an average couple, we got lost in the caption writers fantasies about how they wished it worked.

Just so you know, I’m not saying it doesn’t work that way for some couples, but then most experienced Hotwives don’t need any advice from me about how to go about it.  As for me I don’t get off on having men cum all over my face, or being spit roasted.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to get up on my soapbox again.  I’m going in a different direction today.  As part of the coaching process, once a couple has made the decision to go forward with the Hotwife Lifestyle, and the wife is going to open up her end of the marriage to date other men, how does she do that?

I have sex with men I meet to fulfill a fantasy that my husband has of sharing me with other men for the benefit of making our own relationship better and stronger by sharing all the details with him.  Do I enjoy having a personal sex life of my own that is independent of my marriage to Michael?  You bet your ass!

When a sexy guy is flirting with me it is a huge turn on knowing I can take it as far as I want because it’s what my husband wants me to do.  I can’t imagine any woman who truly understands the benefits of this Lifestyle who wouldn’t want to live it every day of her life!

So how do I do it? Not every woman can meet men the way I do.  Most of the women I work with have a unique set of circumstances and I help them on an individual basis but today I am going to explain how I do it.

Michael and I have a guide line that we call my Hotwife Rules of Engagement.  It’s designed to keep me safe and it addresses something that I agreed to early on.  Michael is/was not comfortable with me dating one guy over and over as if I was his girlfriend.  His thinking is from a fear that I might accidentally bond emotionally with a “boyfriend” type of relationship.

Personally I was not as worried about that as Michael, but being a Hotwife is no different than any other aspect of marriage that requires give and take to make it work, so that is our agreement.

I preach that that a Hotwife needs to have total autonomy over the dating process so that she stays inside her comfort zone without input from her husband about who she can date.

I get asked all the time how I do it.  How do I meet men?  What do I do when I meet Mr. Tonight?  Where do we go?  What do I say?

I am an urban dweller. I live in a high rise condo in downtown. Within a five minute drive there several upscale hotels.  Some have lounges and some have lobby bars.  We also belong to a supper club that is attached by a sky bridge to one of the hotels.

A woman that is out of practice dating and or flirting who is entering this Lifestyle with no recent practical experience doesn’t realize how simple it is to meet men and let herself get picked up.  All she needs is the right attitude, an outgoing engaging smile, a willingness to make eye contact, and to act like she wants to be there.  The men do all the heavy lifting.

If you meet a guy with whom you feel sexual chemistry, let’s call him Mr. Tonight, the only thing you have to do is not send him a negative aura, and don’t say no.  It’s as simple as that.

When I am out at night to meet someone I typically go out alone.  I may go to the Club and sit at the bar and have a drink.  The standard approach line is “Are you waiting for your husband?”  Or “Is anyone sitting here?”, or any number of simple test questions to gauge my interest. Sometimes they simply sit down and ask if they can buy me a drink.

If I am not interested I do not respond positively and they usually take the hint and move on.  I wear an ankle bracelet.  I wear it whenever I am not working.  I have said many times that it has been my experience that wearing an ankle bracelet serves no useful purpose in identifying me by my status as a Hotwife.  I wear it because occasionally it’s a conversation point, and it makes me feel good about my status as a Hotwife, but having said that, the subject almost never comes up. Men are focused on my wedding rings, not my ankle bracelet!

This is what I think about that.  If I am sitting in a bar without my husband, and I’m wearing my wedding rings, and I am letting a man flirt with me, and I am sending him positive vibes, he doesn’t care if I am a hotwife out hunting, or a bored wife looking for a little excitement outside of her own bedroom.

The only thing he cares about is that he and I are sharing the same space at the same time and he has a shot at soiling a married woman.  It is a fact based on my experience that married men prefer playing with married women.

It is also a fact based on my experience that younger single men prefer to play with older married women. Please feel free to disagree with me if you wish, but keep in mind I said I was referring to my own experiences.

As a side note, my girlfriend Jill, who is divorced, still wears her wedding rings when she goes out for the very same reason but takes it a step further by using them to hide behind if she gets approached by a toad.

The men I target when I am out hunting are upscale professional men that are typically traveling to Tampa on business, which is why I choose the downtown upscale hotel bars.

So let’s say an interesting guy has approached me and he likes what he sees and I like what I see. “Are you waiting for your husband?” He might ask.  If I want him to engage me I make it clear my husband is not in my picture that night.

“No my husband is in Dallas tonight.”  Or, “I’m not really sure where he is, I’m not waiting for anyone, I just decided to stop by for a drink.”

“May I join you?”  He will ask.  I pick my purse up off the empty seat.

If I am only lukewarm I might say something noncommittal like, “I’m just here having a drink.”  That doesn’t tell him anything at all but leaves it open, but in this particular situation I wanted him to join me.

When a married guy meets a married woman in that situation they don’t want to know too much too soon. They ask me chatty questions that are not intrusive like “are you from here?” Or, are you in Tampa on business?”

This gives me a chance to steer the conversation based on how much information/bullshit I share. If I let him start buying me drinks, things will slowly escalate.  Men like to get into my personal space.  If I am sending positive signals they like to get physically closer to me.

If I start talking about being a pissed off wife, men can relate to that and they like to touch me. They pat my hand or my arm or find a few strands of hair to put back in place.  This is a test to see how tolerant I am of physical contact, and depending on the situation and the guy, and the alcohol, I can be pretty tolerant, unless I am groped, which is always a deal killer but very rarely happens in upscale bars.

My knees are also a place that men like to pat and or eventually rest the palm of their hand on. I wonder if that is like a dog marking his territory.  Anyway, if I’m into it I don’t mind unless his hand drifts too far upward.

Like I said, men like to test my tolerance so sometimes it’s just a question of placing my hand over his in a blocking motion.  Men usually take that hint, but if it’s late and I am ready to go to his room I might say something like, “If you are going to keep doing that we need to go someplace else.”

I used that line on a very young man I met in a hotel lounge last January that I wrote about in my blog. I had been telling my bloggers that my success rate was in the 90% range because I knew how to do it now.

When Michael and I had been playing The Chili’s Game my success rate was pitiful, because I didn’t know what I was doing.

My husband called me out on it and wanted me to prove it, so I told him to meet me downtown at 8:30 where Jill worked giving me a 30 minute head start.  I was already practically hooked up by the time he sat down in the lounge.  He got an eyeful.

The young gym rat in town on business was rubbing my leg and I covered his hand and told him he was being very naughty.  He told me that he knew I liked it though and then he kissed me.  I wasn’t expecting it, but it played right into what I was trying to show my husband.

I told him if he was going to keep doing that to me we needed to go somewhere else.  He said, “OK Let’s go up to my room.  Michael watched me leave the bar and get on the elevator with him.

That is not the norm but it does happen that way sometimes.  A more typical close happens when the club closes, and he says “Where can we go now?” He knows where he wants me to go, but is hoping I will give him a hint.  Sometimes I do.  I might say, “Where are you staying?”  He says “I am staying here in the hotel”, or “I am staying across the street in the hotel.”

If I am ready to close the deal all I have to say is, “Do you have one of those little honor bar things in your room?”

It doesn’t matter whether they do or they don’t because they are going to say they do and I am going to go with them to their room.  I’m not going up there for a drink.  I am going up there to have sex with him. We both understand that.  It’s called “Communication”.


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8 years ago

Such intensity and passion in massaging is usually in my husband... And my bf from the swimming club who is a big time boob lover.

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shefaali-the-thoughts - Shefaali's memory dump
Shefaali's memory dump

Married woman in her thirties, from india. Fond of La Petite Mort. I have an amazing husband, from who I get some of my best "mini-death" & "rainbows in the night" orgasms and intense love.So please do not propose making love to me; nor invite me for roleplays or a 'chat'. None of the photos here belong to me. Please note that I do not post my own photos here and the photos are reblogged based on those that I can relate incidents of my life to. If I have shared any restricted photographs or videos, please let me know and I shall withdraw (though that's something that I have to beg/request/plead with my bulls to do at certain riskier times 😉) Being polyamorous, I love male companionship and enjoy the companionship of a second husband, a bf and also have an 'owner' who sends me to men of his choice.

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