Latest Posts by shefaali-the-thoughts - Page 7

What would happen should your husband discover your "activities"? Would you marriage survive? Would he be turned on? Would he reluctantly let you continue, hating it (and himself?) all-the-while?

I wish I knew the answer. One thing that helps my situation immensely is that my husband is posted abroad on work and visits india twice in a year on vacations.. During this time the frequency of my meeting the bulls reduce though my stag (who’s my husband’s colleague in india) still manages the appointments and informs the bulls about my availability after my husband returns abroad.

My husband typically stays for about 2 to 3 weeks during vacation. So even during this period i have to make some time out to meet my long term boyfriends (ie my stag himself, a friend i met at the swimming club i go to, and the husband of one of my friends) at their home since they can’t go completely without sex during this window.

The other thing that helps immensely is that I know that my husband has a very high libido. Which implies that it won’t be possible for a man of his libido to continue for 11 months in a foreign land without indulging in sex. The apartment where my husband stays abroad, is also frequented by a female colleague of his as they have lunch and dinner together, either at his place or her’s as she has also traveled abroad alone leaving her family in india. I have on frequent occasions heard her voice in the background while speaking to my husband over phone. I have strong reasons to believe that my husband is not just ‘friends’ with her and that the two of them must have very willingly and consensually found ways to retain each other for their need of regular sex and survive as fully functioning human male and female. I understand how important sex is biologically for a human being, specially for my husband who used to fuck me at least once every day, if not more. And I also know what a fantastic lover he is from the way he pleasures me. i am positive that having fucked his colleague once, she can never again refuse an invite for sex with my husband. I have no problem with he being a long term bull to his female colleague abroad as long as his heart belongs to me. Me too despite my long term boyfriends and the various bulls that have sex with me, have retained my heart for my husband only.

So to answer your question as to how he would react if he came to know of my sex life in india, i would say as long as he is assured that it’s just my body that I derive pleasure in through these men, he would be ok although yeah, he probably wouldn’t be my stag himself ever and nor would i even remotely consider cuckolding him.

Does this answer your question?

How my stag possessed me - Part 3

Contd from part 2...

As I watched my husband go out of sight, R said, “for some reason you appear to be known to me from very long”. I said even I feel that way though I am pretty sure this is the first time that we are meeting. He asked me to take a seat at a table on the slightly thinner part of the crowd. Instead of sitting across me, he pulled his chair next to mine. He said, “I feel very familiar to you, would you mind if I feel your thigh?” I kind of screamed out “yesssss” in my mind, but outwardly just smiled and mentioned, “I am sure there will be a time for that”. He smiled knowingly and I felt butterflies in my stomach. He took out his mobile phone and asked me for my number. Something in me prompted me to narrate it effortlessly. He said, “good girl, save mine, will call you tomorrow once your husband reaches office”. I kind of mumbled off, “ok, will await your call”. There was a moment of awkward silence and he asked again, “just brush your leg against mine. The table cloth will prevent you to be seen by anyone”. I was extremely nervous but managed to align my leg with his and brushed against it. It kind of gave me an electric shock to touch him although both our legs were covered under layers of fabric. He kept his legs pressed against mine and while our upper torso, visible to the public, was decently placed, I could feel him bushing his thigh against mine. We saw my husband returning to us and we separated our lower bodies to maintain a decent distance. I have heard this term called animal magnetism. This was the first time in my life when I was experiencing the same. Here I am with a man who I am meeting for the first time and yet every cell on my body screamed ‘possess me’ to him. And surprisingly it wasn’t one sided. He was equally charged up to lay his claim on me. If this isn’t animal magnetism, what is?

Once I reached home that night and was changing my dress to retire for the night, I felt the stretch that was brushed by R a few hours ago. It tingled still. My husband, who has a very strong libido, was in mood to fuck me. I tried reciprocating his advances as much as possible, but eventually after a while I was just lying flat on the bed, spread out in missionary position with my legs flying in the sky in a wide V, while my husband continued to fuck me actively. Once he ejaculated and dismounted from top of me to take rest, the thoughts of R asking me if he could feel my thigh kept buzzing in my ears and I silently kept telling myself, “yes, touch me”. The next morning, like all other mornings, my husband was in mood again and having rested in the night, was full of vigour. I enjoyed while he fucked me missionary style, but the vision of R’s tufts of black hair popping out from under his shirt, kept haunting me and I kept visualizing how densely hairy his chest and belly must be.

My husband left for work in a while...and from the moment he was putting his shoes on, I don’t know, I kind of kept praying, please don’t go today. Somewhere I felt I would be converted to an unfaithful wife once he went to office and my conscience kept praying that he stays at home. The next couple of hours were extremely tense for me. I held the mobile tightly in my hand as if my life depended on it. It was not before two hours that my mobile rang and I saw R’s number flash on the screen. There it was, the call that I had been waiting for since last evening, and now that the phone flashes his name, I was feeling terrified answering it. After what appeared to me like eternity while the phone rang, I mustered sufficient courage to accept the call. “What took you this long to answer the call?” he asked. I mumbled something about I was in the other room and took me time to find my phone. “I missed you last night. ‘A’ is one lucky bastard. How did he land a wife like you”? he asked. ‘A’ is my husband’s name’s initial letter and for the sake of privacy I will refer to him when required as A.

To be continued...

If sex with men other than my husband makes me guilty of infidelity, then yes, I am guilty. But I have learned over time to keep love and lust separately. My love (and the associated sex) is reserved for my husband, who by the way is amazing when it comes to get me to suffer a mini-death with every orgasm; but I also have a stag who shares me with other bulls…and I do equally enjoy the other parallel life.

How my stag possessed me - Part 2

Continued from my previous post...

It was probably around the second year of my marriage, and I hadn’t strayed one bit. Actually my husband was more than I could handle and he is very active to pleasure me physically. My husband informed me that the annual dinner in his office was convened. Spouses were allowed. The year before this, we had both been travelling and so we couldn’t attend. We both were eager to be there, to get to meet other people to socialize with and for him, to kind of show me off as well. Although India is currently very widely influenced by the western dressing and in fact all the western dresses are very popular here as well, personally, I was always since attaining my youth have dressed myself in saree, a traditional Indian dress. For those in the west who are reading this, you may please Google for Saree. I have during my college had worn westerns like jeans and skirts and shirts and trousers, but have always felt that I look my best in a saree and could carry myself in it.  So, for this evening-party I dressed myself in a brown saree with deep-red sleeveless blouse and matching lingerie. It was a party, so a slightly plunged neckline and a more-than-normal low-cut on the back on my blouse was not inappropriate. Since I am of medium complexion, umm, maybe slightly on the duskier side, the darker shades look better on me.

It was organized in one of the large banquet halls, overlooking a sprawling green lawn, in a five star hotel. Some guests had already arrived that he got me introduced to. They were really nice people. I won’t deny that it felt good when some of them complimented me on my dress and I could see I was getting my share of male attention. Having said that, it would be wrong to not point out at this stage, that the male attention that I referred to above was the very decent kind where men appreciated me for how I looked but all within the limits of social decency. There were drinks that were served and both I and my husband indulged. A jovial mood prevailed over the party.

It was quite late in the evening by that time when my husband said that he would like me to meet one of his long time colleagues who was till now posted abroad and have very recently returned to India. Rumours were that my husband could be considered next to fill up that position abroad. Both were at the same rank within the organization. His colleague was in the lawn and we were in the hall. So my husband showed me around to meet him. Now, I am positive that all of you have heard the phrase ‘sparks flying’, as did I. But it was the first time when I was escorted to him and I got to look at his eyes and he shook my hand, that I literally felt hit by a thunderbolt. He was nothing extraordinary to look at. Neither handsome, nor bad, couple of inches taller to me (I am 5’8” myself, which is considered tall for Indian women), very well dressed in a black suit, possessed what looked like through the layers of his suit, a really swollen and large belly, dark-skinned, clean shaven. Even his shirt failed to trap tufts of dense black hair on his chest which popped out at the top. As he shook my hand and made small talk while my husband introduced me, I could feel my heart would burst out from the rib cage. I could hear not a word that he said because of the sound of my own heartbeat that deafened me. I felt people around me could also probably hear it from how they sounded to me. I maintained my polite smile while he continued to hold and shake my hand while introducing himself. It went to a point when I finally managed to blurt out, “I am sorry but I really didn’t catch your name in the loud music. Could you please tell me again?” His name, for the purpose of this public document shall be R, which is the first letter of the name. We kept talking and in a while another colleague of my husband came up to inform that the boss wanted to speak to my husband. I was standing there in the lawn with R. There were quite a lot of other people who were also present around us, but in my mind I felt myself to be completely isolated with just R in that lawn.

To be continued...

Thanks for considering my request, super excited and hugely turned on already ;) waiting for the rest of the story...

I am writing this for you. Enjoy.

How my stag possessed me - Part 1

I was requested by someone to post a small narrative on how I met my stag. I have never written anything before and I also have a full time job to handle. So I will try, though it may take time. Since my written communication isn’t exactly the best, I may not be able to make it a short one either. If you are still inclined to read, comment and reblog, you are most welcome to but that was just a disclaimer.

To be honest although I am a shared-wife, I am not a hot-wife in its truest sense. In other words, it’s not my own husband that shares me with others. I am 36 now, from India, from a city called Kolkata. I am married for about 7 years now to this really wonderful gentleman who makes love not just to my body, but to my soul. Mine is an arranged marriage, a concept more popular in the orient than in the occident, whereby I met my husband for the first time when he came to meet his prospective bride, my best friend. Due to a turn of events which really isn’t part of this discussion, he went back determined to marry me, long story short, we got married and it was love at first sight for both of us...yes, it happens.

Not only is his integrity above question, but also he knew how to make love to my soul while simultaneously fucking every bone in my body loose. He is extremely generous in giving me some of the best toe-curling, out-of-breath, choking, intense white-hot, blinding, soul-crunching orgasms; orgasms that keeps me shuddering so hard that he needs to hold me still and pin me under his wide chest to stabilize me. In short, he is my personal Lord Kaamdev (Hindu god of love and sex). His name started with the letter A, and I told him on my wedding night that I would call him my Adonis. He looked as handsome as that and had an equally attractive physique to further support his title of Adonis. We both came clean to each other at the very first, even before we were married (we had to wait for almost about 10 months to get a wedding venue of our choice; yes, it happens in India), that neither of us were virgins. I admitted that I have indulged in threesome with my ex-s and their friends and he came clean that he has had his share of sex with his ex-s. In other words, out trust level with each other was full and we had nothing to hide from our previous life. We were both matured enough to understand the human need for physical pleasure, and since neither of us were saints, we were no exceptions to that need.

He is any woman’s dream man and I am the fortunate one who he proclaimed to the world as being husband to. After we got married, my love life was (and still is) at its height and so is my sex life. I did however discover that no matter who comes to my life, I still will crave physical proximity of other attractive men. This is something I could not get myself to admit to my husband, but I knew that it won’t be long before I would need another man to use my body...just my body, not my soul. My soul already belonged to my husband. It was this need that prompted me to agree to threesomes with my ex-s and their close friends. I never had any inhibitions about my physical presence and felt good to flaunt myself to my men within the boundaries of decency...at least till we had not decided to copulate.

...to be continued in due course

I love how you relate every post with your own experience, and express it so sensually. Will you please write a small post or a story describing how you started this sexual journey with your husbands colleague...

I am so thankful to you for the kind words. I can do so but not sure if a public post of that will be appreciated by the other members here.

Also, I only reblog those that I can relate to my life and try to add my experience in the similar situation to give the reblogged photo a personal touch. Thank you so much for the encouraging words.

You sound so hot and poetic... does your husband knows about your affairs?

I write whatever i feel and can relate to my life, I am happy to know you liked it. Well, to be honest, No, my husband isn’t aware of the other men who have access to me physically. The only one who he knws as me being a close friend with is his colleague. His colleague however does take full advantage of getting unlimited and unhindered access to the wife. Also, when the need to be with other men arises, we play the couple and he plays the stag for me. Mostly it’s in his presence that the others access me, but often it’s away from his eyes, in a separate room, or a separate hotel.

Except that i was on a bed and they were not bbcs but just ordinary human beings who were close friends of my stag (my husband's colleague).

I could never bring myself to tell this to my husband though would readily agree if he suggests.

Wife Sharing Trying To Convince Your Wife To Have An MFM? Show Her This Article The Hotwife Phenomenon - The New Threesome By: Dr. Sherry Lee, Ph. D. From: Psychology Today (Dr. Lee has lectured and published in the area of analytical psychology, and she developed one of the first electronic systems for the quantitative analysis human behavior. She started her counseling work by leading gestalt therapy groups. Apart from this, her several decades of professional experience has been largely limited to urban, affluent, female subjects.) What Has Spurred the whole Hotwife Phenomenon? Although motivations for the Hotwife phenomenon actually cover a wide spectrum, here we’ll cover a few of the most common. First let’s get this out of the way. The Menage a’ Trois is out, it’s yesterday’s news, and most women are glad to see it go. Why? Because for at least the last hundred years or so we women have had to indulge this male fantasy (usually with our best girlfriends as the second woman) and frankly guys, we’ve had enough. No, we don’t really like to perform oral sex on our best friends just because you think it’s hot, sorry. We’re not lesbians and even though it looks like we like it in every porno you’ve ever seen, the last thing that turns us on is watching you, our boyfriends/husbands screw another woman right in front of us. We just aren’t wired to like that. It’s biologically programed into us not to like seeing our mates mating with other females. On the other hand, we women know that a lot of you men out there DO like the idea of watching us, your girlfriends and wives, get it on with another male while you either watch or better still, join in. Surprised? You shouldn’t be. Polls show that more and more women, especially those in their late thirties and older, who are passed or passing their child bearing years, say that the threesome they do find extremely exciting is the kind of threesome so called “Hot Wives” are having and that’s the MFM or Male-Female-Male threesome. These women are hitting their sexual prime during their late thirties and early forties and many of them like getting attention from younger males. These women don’t want to cheat on the men they love, they want to have their boyfriends and husbands to let them be the sexual creatures at the peak of their sexual powers that the media has falsely convinced men happens when women are in their twenties. It’s just not true. While many males my be suffering from a drop in their testosterone levels in their forties and feel like their sexual peak is a distant memory, the women in their lives are just getting warmed up, maybe even hot! What is a Cuckold? A husband who is a cuckold is aware of his spouse’s activity, most likely actively encouraging it and derives sexual pleasure from it. Biologist Robin Baker speculates in his book “Sperm Wars” that the excitement and stimulation of the cuckolding fetish emerges from the biology of sexuality and the effects of sexual arousal on the brain. Baker believes that when a man thinks that his female mate may have been sexual with another man, the man is prompted by biological urges to copulate with the female in an effort to “compete” with the other man’s sperm. While this is just a theory it may help explain the desire by many men to have their wives sleep with other men. He may value the relationship and not want her to jeopardize things because of the deceit and secrecy that normally accompany affairs. In short, he wants to know about and approve any extramarital sex, and even have some control over it. The cuckold husband wants his wife’s sexual encounters with men to be for sex only, with no marriage-threatening emotional entanglements. The mass media often cast beautiful and desirable women as both sexy and prone to sexual liaisons. Whereas this type of woman used to be considered a “fallen woman” or even a “whore,” in some minds she now seems to represent an enticing new standard. Some women used to brag about how they could avoid marital sex, and despite the views of some radical feminists, such women are now suspected as being man-haters, latent lesbians, or simply having personal problems. Now, many women find a certain excitement in being viewed as sexually liberated. For some, especially some older women, there may be a certain ego gratification in still being viewed as being sexually desirable — even discretely promiscuous. While holding to the security of her primary relationship, she may revel in experiencing sexual freedom. At the same time, some cuckold husbands want their wives to appear ladylike on the surface (in public.). But, among the majority of these men, they want they wives to be known as “hot”, “sexy”, and “not hung up about sex,” or even “great lays.” Although this type of wife was once considered a threat to husbands — and it still is to most — the more psychologically secure males believe that a healthy and well-adjusted (and desirable) woman enjoys sex, and has the right to be just as open about it as men. Also, the husbands involved often pride themselves in being secure enough to handle a hotwife. He may even brag to another man about how his wife loves sex and can’t get enough (which, not coincidentally, may be very much in contrast to the attitude of that man’s wife). Implicit in the comment is that the husband has no problem with this, and that, in fact, he thinks his wife is very “hot.” In most cases sex within a Hotwife marriage is just that. Hot. Women in the Hotwife lifestyle report having higher than average self esteem, they report far fewer incidences of infidelity on the part of their husbands, an above average libido, and overall feelings of being attractive, especially to younger males. Many women realize that other women regularly enjoy “good sex,” and although many wives have grown ambivalent about sex within their marriages and are reluctant to try new things, these barriers frequently fall with the expectations of new sexual partners. With new men there appears to be unspoken desire to “not disappoint” and “to be good in bed.” Even though she may have started to have doubts about her sexual desirability, as a hotwife she will find that men are again interested in her. For some women this can constitute a kind of new “sexual awakening.” This transformation can be quite disturbing for a husband who isn’t prepared to handle it. But for those men who have always thought that their wives were not only devoted to them but should be admired, even lusted after by other men, it is a dream come true. Contrary to the most commonly held belief that all cuckold husbands are by default the submissive type with a small penis inferiority complex, most of these men are actually extremely confident in their masculinity and their “manhood”. They also report having no desire to have sex with other women. Their hotwife is almost always the sole focus of all their sexual fantasy and activity. In my experience, this may be the only class of men who can actually be believed when reporting this. In some circles a woman may wear a bold ankle bracelet on her right ankle to tell men “in the know” that she’s a hotwife. (At the same time, most women who wear ankle bracelets do so without realizing the possible significance.) Once seen as a hotwife, she may flirt with select men, making it clear that she’s available for sex. Women As Sex Objects? Many women feel that being a hotwife turns a woman into a sex object. This seems to be primarily based on the premise that enjoying sex is a masculine prerogative. However, more and more women are finding that this is not so. Most women have lived their lives trying to act “like proper women” and shunning men “who have one thing on their minds.” Now, according to one woman, “I let guys know I like sex.” Thus, she may soon get beyond, “what other people will think” and concentrate on the pleasures of the sexual experience — in particular, experiencing regular orgasms. This is often bolstered by the excitement that surrounds the culturally taboo aspects of a married women having sex with other men. Usually it’s the Husband’s Idea All of this notwithstanding, the cuckold husband/hotwife phenomena is typically the idea of the husband who not only knows about the high number of female affairs, but is even sexually excited by visualizing another man having sex with his wife. According to one husband, “I had to really change my view about how a wife is supposed to be, especially with guys finding out she’s ‘available’ even though she’s married to me. But now I really get off on having a woman that guys think is hot and who they want to have sex with. Fact is, instead of being embarrassed or defensive, I brag about how she loves sex, and then I casually mention that this sure makes her a lot different than most wives. In a very good way.” According to another husband, “…as far back as I can remember in our marriage, I’ve always been turned on and excited by the idea of encouraging her to let guys give her all the sexual attention she can handle. …She and I feel closer and more attracted to each other because of all the attention she gets from men. Especially the younger guys. They all think she is hot and they’re right! My wife feels that as long as we are together when she’s with another guy, everything is OK. It’s a huge turn on for both of us.” From her husband’s perspective, he has long ago ridded himself of the “fallen woman baggage” that pervades most of our culture, the fact that his wife is pursued by men, makes herself available to men, and sometimes has sex with other men, introduces a bit of competition for her. This can strengthen the husband’s resolve to “treat her right” although most husbands with hot wives already have a sort of “wife worship” fetish you might call it. They tend to buy their wives pretty clothes, take them out, and tell them how attractive they think they are and make them feel that they are attractive to other men. He may fantasize about a powerful (safe) man sexually awakening and dominating her, and forcing her to break free of sexual inhibitions. Some husbands know how exciting a new sexual partner and experience can be, and want to offer some other men this experience with their wives. A husband may also fantasize about having a wife that is, to a degree, driven by both a physical and a psychological need for sex. Visualizing or seeing first-hand other men meeting this need in her —but only with his permission— may excite him. The Woman’s Perspective Women have a different perspective on being a hotwife, of course. According to one woman, “I’ve got a sense of freedom in enjoying the company of men and not being paranoid about a jealous husband, or even being worried about what people will think. If I want to have sex with a guy I find attractive, all I have to do is tell my husband and I have the freedom to do it. For me, having my husband there is a huge part of the turn on. Knowing it excites him makes it more exciting for me. Of course I’m excited that a younger, good looking guy wants me and thinks I’m hot, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But just sleeping with another guy without my husband feels more like cheating than a turn on. Some women go on dates without their husbands and a lot of husbands are OK with that. For me, I want my husband with me. I want him to see me being taken by another man. It’s really hot, for both of us.” At the same time, the hotwife does not want jealousy or resentment to ruin her marriage or threaten the unusual freedom she enjoys, a freedom she knows that very few husbands would be willing to grant. Therefore, she needs to be careful to be totally open and honest to her husband about her lovers. This means that there will be no secret conversations or secret meetings with men. It may also mean that the husband may want to approve of the men she has sex with. The cuckold husband may want his wife to announce her sexuality by wearing revealing clothes. For example, he may accompany her to a night spot in a distant city and have her dress in ultra-revealing clothes or tell her to go out without wearing any panties. This can serve to get them both used to the resulting male attention. Rather than being jealous, having a wife that is seen by other men as sexually “hot” may provide him with an ego boost. (Dare we suggest that for some men hot wives are replacing hot cars as a source of pride.) Thus, while the male and female motivations might be quite different in the cuckold husband-hotwife phenomena, the ultimate goal can be the same. The husband will have to deal with meeting men who have had or want to have sex with his wife. To compensate for any suspected loss of his virility, the husband may remind others of his own previous sexual escapades. At the same time to prove his lack of jealousy, he may freely admit to men that his wife regularly enjoys sex with different men, and he may even subtly offer her to select men. According to one man, “I like to set things in motion like that just to see what happens.” The Quintessential Issue What may seem desirable for the husband or wife while under the influence of testosterone, libido or fantasy, may later seem like a huge mistake. The result may be regret and marital estrangement. Clearly, the cuckold husband/hotwife idea is at odds with cultural conditioning and human tendencies toward jealousy and possessiveness. Although these traits may not be desirable, they are the norm and must be recognized. Even assuming that both partners are okay with going in this direction, most of society isn’t. With most people there is still a sigma associated with a promiscuous wife and a husband that lets his wife have extramarital sex. Most people who find out about this will respond negatively toward both partners. This can be a problem in a work environment where “character” is a part of job performance and promotion considerations. (A common male chauvinistic attitude with roots in the “wife as the husband’s property” notion says that a husband should keep his wife “under control,” and if she has affairs she definitely isn’t “under control.”) While many couples are able to keep their sexual activities private, they may live with the fear that they may be found out. At the same time, self-employed people who live in large urban areas, or people who work around like-minded individuals probably won’t have this concern. All this being said, given the ever-increasing number of affairs, and the emerging attitudes about condoned affairs in countries such as Japan, one wonders if somewhere down the road to cultural enlightenment U.S. society won’t be ready to accept open relationships. We seem to be in the early stages of that now. Although the transition will certainly be bumpy, if we are able to shift our emphasis to love and commitment to hold relationships together, rather than the refutable doctrines about sexual exclusivity which simply cater to jealousies and insecurities, it would not only eliminate much heartache, but it would remove many of the “justifications” for dissolving relationships and an ever increasing divorce rate.

WOW…great insight! (via wifesahottie)

A very interesting read. Helped me gain clarity in my actions and conduct.

More Stag & Vixen captions at: http://stagandvixen.tumblr.com/

It’s not the same when there’s no growing old together,’ she replies. ‘Without that love is just heartbreak.“

True that.

I loved reading this article. It helped me to find clarity within myself. Thank you.

Lexi the Hotwife

December 2, 2016

Most of my blog posts are aimed at helping people enter this magical relationship enriching Alternative Marriage Lifestyle.  I do this as my way of paying it forward because when my husband and I were looking for real truthful information on how this Lifestyle works on a day to day basis for an average couple, we got lost in the caption writers fantasies about how they wished it worked.

Just so you know, I’m not saying it doesn’t work that way for some couples, but then most experienced Hotwives don’t need any advice from me about how to go about it.  As for me I don’t get off on having men cum all over my face, or being spit roasted.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to get up on my soapbox again.  I’m going in a different direction today.  As part of the coaching process, once a couple has made the decision to go forward with the Hotwife Lifestyle, and the wife is going to open up her end of the marriage to date other men, how does she do that?

I have sex with men I meet to fulfill a fantasy that my husband has of sharing me with other men for the benefit of making our own relationship better and stronger by sharing all the details with him.  Do I enjoy having a personal sex life of my own that is independent of my marriage to Michael?  You bet your ass!

When a sexy guy is flirting with me it is a huge turn on knowing I can take it as far as I want because it’s what my husband wants me to do.  I can’t imagine any woman who truly understands the benefits of this Lifestyle who wouldn’t want to live it every day of her life!

So how do I do it? Not every woman can meet men the way I do.  Most of the women I work with have a unique set of circumstances and I help them on an individual basis but today I am going to explain how I do it.

Michael and I have a guide line that we call my Hotwife Rules of Engagement.  It’s designed to keep me safe and it addresses something that I agreed to early on.  Michael is/was not comfortable with me dating one guy over and over as if I was his girlfriend.  His thinking is from a fear that I might accidentally bond emotionally with a “boyfriend” type of relationship.

Personally I was not as worried about that as Michael, but being a Hotwife is no different than any other aspect of marriage that requires give and take to make it work, so that is our agreement.

I preach that that a Hotwife needs to have total autonomy over the dating process so that she stays inside her comfort zone without input from her husband about who she can date.

I get asked all the time how I do it.  How do I meet men?  What do I do when I meet Mr. Tonight?  Where do we go?  What do I say?

I am an urban dweller. I live in a high rise condo in downtown. Within a five minute drive there several upscale hotels.  Some have lounges and some have lobby bars.  We also belong to a supper club that is attached by a sky bridge to one of the hotels.

A woman that is out of practice dating and or flirting who is entering this Lifestyle with no recent practical experience doesn’t realize how simple it is to meet men and let herself get picked up.  All she needs is the right attitude, an outgoing engaging smile, a willingness to make eye contact, and to act like she wants to be there.  The men do all the heavy lifting.

If you meet a guy with whom you feel sexual chemistry, let’s call him Mr. Tonight, the only thing you have to do is not send him a negative aura, and don’t say no.  It’s as simple as that.

When I am out at night to meet someone I typically go out alone.  I may go to the Club and sit at the bar and have a drink.  The standard approach line is “Are you waiting for your husband?”  Or “Is anyone sitting here?”, or any number of simple test questions to gauge my interest. Sometimes they simply sit down and ask if they can buy me a drink.

If I am not interested I do not respond positively and they usually take the hint and move on.  I wear an ankle bracelet.  I wear it whenever I am not working.  I have said many times that it has been my experience that wearing an ankle bracelet serves no useful purpose in identifying me by my status as a Hotwife.  I wear it because occasionally it’s a conversation point, and it makes me feel good about my status as a Hotwife, but having said that, the subject almost never comes up. Men are focused on my wedding rings, not my ankle bracelet!

This is what I think about that.  If I am sitting in a bar without my husband, and I’m wearing my wedding rings, and I am letting a man flirt with me, and I am sending him positive vibes, he doesn’t care if I am a hotwife out hunting, or a bored wife looking for a little excitement outside of her own bedroom.

The only thing he cares about is that he and I are sharing the same space at the same time and he has a shot at soiling a married woman.  It is a fact based on my experience that married men prefer playing with married women.

It is also a fact based on my experience that younger single men prefer to play with older married women. Please feel free to disagree with me if you wish, but keep in mind I said I was referring to my own experiences.

As a side note, my girlfriend Jill, who is divorced, still wears her wedding rings when she goes out for the very same reason but takes it a step further by using them to hide behind if she gets approached by a toad.

The men I target when I am out hunting are upscale professional men that are typically traveling to Tampa on business, which is why I choose the downtown upscale hotel bars.

So let’s say an interesting guy has approached me and he likes what he sees and I like what I see. “Are you waiting for your husband?” He might ask.  If I want him to engage me I make it clear my husband is not in my picture that night.

“No my husband is in Dallas tonight.”  Or, “I’m not really sure where he is, I’m not waiting for anyone, I just decided to stop by for a drink.”

“May I join you?”  He will ask.  I pick my purse up off the empty seat.

If I am only lukewarm I might say something noncommittal like, “I’m just here having a drink.”  That doesn’t tell him anything at all but leaves it open, but in this particular situation I wanted him to join me.

When a married guy meets a married woman in that situation they don’t want to know too much too soon. They ask me chatty questions that are not intrusive like “are you from here?” Or, are you in Tampa on business?”

This gives me a chance to steer the conversation based on how much information/bullshit I share. If I let him start buying me drinks, things will slowly escalate.  Men like to get into my personal space.  If I am sending positive signals they like to get physically closer to me.

If I start talking about being a pissed off wife, men can relate to that and they like to touch me. They pat my hand or my arm or find a few strands of hair to put back in place.  This is a test to see how tolerant I am of physical contact, and depending on the situation and the guy, and the alcohol, I can be pretty tolerant, unless I am groped, which is always a deal killer but very rarely happens in upscale bars.

My knees are also a place that men like to pat and or eventually rest the palm of their hand on. I wonder if that is like a dog marking his territory.  Anyway, if I’m into it I don’t mind unless his hand drifts too far upward.

Like I said, men like to test my tolerance so sometimes it’s just a question of placing my hand over his in a blocking motion.  Men usually take that hint, but if it’s late and I am ready to go to his room I might say something like, “If you are going to keep doing that we need to go someplace else.”

I used that line on a very young man I met in a hotel lounge last January that I wrote about in my blog. I had been telling my bloggers that my success rate was in the 90% range because I knew how to do it now.

When Michael and I had been playing The Chili’s Game my success rate was pitiful, because I didn’t know what I was doing.

My husband called me out on it and wanted me to prove it, so I told him to meet me downtown at 8:30 where Jill worked giving me a 30 minute head start.  I was already practically hooked up by the time he sat down in the lounge.  He got an eyeful.

The young gym rat in town on business was rubbing my leg and I covered his hand and told him he was being very naughty.  He told me that he knew I liked it though and then he kissed me.  I wasn’t expecting it, but it played right into what I was trying to show my husband.

I told him if he was going to keep doing that to me we needed to go somewhere else.  He said, “OK Let’s go up to my room.  Michael watched me leave the bar and get on the elevator with him.

That is not the norm but it does happen that way sometimes.  A more typical close happens when the club closes, and he says “Where can we go now?” He knows where he wants me to go, but is hoping I will give him a hint.  Sometimes I do.  I might say, “Where are you staying?”  He says “I am staying here in the hotel”, or “I am staying across the street in the hotel.”

If I am ready to close the deal all I have to say is, “Do you have one of those little honor bar things in your room?”

It doesn’t matter whether they do or they don’t because they are going to say they do and I am going to go with them to their room.  I’m not going up there for a drink.  I am going up there to have sex with him. We both understand that.  It’s called “Communication”.