This Is What Happened At The End Of Lonesome Road, Surely?

i miss the old tumblr days when you annoyed someone even slightly and they went on a multi paragraph rant. one that started with "you know what? no. fuck this. fuck you." and contained insults like "moldy sock" and threats like "i'll steal your kneecaps". all while maintaining the attitude of a YA novel protagonist facing capital punishment rallying troops against a dictatorship.

made this shitpost months ago and forgot about it

damn been working on these for a hot minute lmao.

i wanted to make kirby and meta distinctly not-fully-human looking to set them apart.

sorry for all the angst have this instead

They can't live without each other. Literally

I just had a guy proudly unfollow me because I said mean things about Nazis.

I took a quick scan of his page and he's an underweight, single dude that's obsessed with guns and violence and openly and proudly a pedophile.

Damn, Nazis, you just love comforting to stereotypes don't you?

I've come to make an announcement, all the Guardians are bitch-ass motherfuckers, they killed my SON! That's right, they took their Light-mongering, murderous guns out and killed my fucking SON, and they said their Light was THIS STRONG, and I said that's DISGUSTING. So I'm making a callout on my Twitter dot com: Traveler, you got a shitty ass City, it's the size of this War Moon except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my ship looks like. That's right baby. Tall points, no Light, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong. They killed my son so guess what, I'm gonna kill the earth. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LAZER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on SATURN! How do you like that Mara? I PISSED ON SATURN YOU IDIOT! You have 23 hours before the piss d r o p l e t s hit the fucking reef, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too.

He’s been mumbling that song all day to cope

(The original TikTok)