No One Reads An Open Book They Only Tear Out Handfuls Of Their Favorite Pages Give The Binding A Final

Pull me along On those strings you Claim belong to a Heart Carelessly you Dragged me down You tore my Spirit apart

If I were as cruel As you make me feel I would help you Break Sticks and stones Crushing your bones You made a Grave mistake

I swam with Fish from Other seas Other creatures From fresh And salty waters Knowing In the depths Of my heart

That All I really Wanted was To settle In a quiet Backyard pond With you

He said I wasn't the center Of the universe but I was a star He never orbited around me And I was strong but never asked

I was no galaxy I had no planets

But he was an asteroid that Got caught up in my pull He could never look at me Or be close enough to touch

I was too bright I was too hot

And I could not be cold or dull I was a wildfire untamed So I was just one burning star Among the infinite others

I am haunted By a world Where you No longer Exist

I am broken By such an Intense Lack of You

I cut off my hair And the great weight of my life Fell away with it

A girl I am dating is reading my palm Tracing her finger Over my life line She furrows her brow

"Do you like evergreen trees?" she asks She doesn't look up and I nod "But you are deciduous," she meets my eyes

I shrug, pulling my hand back But she holds my wrist Firmly and keeps tracing I'm staring at her curiously

"You are nineteen?" it's currently January I nod again, February on the horizon "You will be nineteen for a very long time"

I don't like her reading I don't like her mysticism I break up with her later Then I meet you And I am nineteen for the rest of my life

Fire in the sky How do you still surprise me? Little sun just begun to rise And for me, no one

A glow in the night Or is it suddenly day? Your presence a heavenly, Astonishing light When you fall take me away

I am surprised by the softness And the intimacy of this moment I had expected your skin to have Thickened and grown rough with time I am surprised by the way I remember The taste of your lips pressing on mine Taken aback by the way we fit together Again like easily memorized lines

There is a sweetness to the salt Of the sweat that forms at your sides A familiarity to the way you look Lying wanting beneath my body I had expected you to look older But the love in your eyes is just bolder Are you remembering the reason for rhyme?

I had not expected your kiss to claim Not expected any longing to still remain I had not expected you to still be mine I had only imagined you naked and true Covered from head to toe in our rain I have been pouring over you all this time But I had not expected you to still be mine

I can write about love I can write about birds and cats And the movement of water

I can write about solitude About the comfort of silence And have it all mean the same thing

Let me revel in these Small doses of sadness In their warmth, In that quick, biting Shot before blurriness

I find myself a sponge In a hot bath, soaking, Letting sadness fill me Until I become heavy

But in the small doses Measured in spoonfuls, In small bites, I cozy up with sadness Carrying it in my body