I Don't Know How To Take A Compliment So I Laugh And Deflect And Die A Little Inside

Sometimes I ruin what I'm trying to say by Making use of Too many Words

He said I wasn't the center Of the universe but I was a star He never orbited around me And I was strong but never asked

I was no galaxy I had no planets

But he was an asteroid that Got caught up in my pull He could never look at me Or be close enough to touch

I was too bright I was too hot

And I could not be cold or dull I was a wildfire untamed So I was just one burning star Among the infinite others

To think they were not together That they were never lead To merging paths To hold each other on nights So quiet and clear

To think they were not together In the warmest of hours The most joyous of holidays Longing fading still

That they were not together Is such a vast and endless void Their absence so tangible And thick as the air In the greenest stormy sky

To think they held hands But not each other's That they kissed lips That were not their own And called it a life

Armenian princess I don't want to go to Hollywood with you I told you I don’t want To walk on the stars Or hold hands On any boulevard

Black haired goddess No we won't be beautiful I don't want to meet your parents Don't explain me To your sister I will not come to your house I won't visit her

My green eyed friend We will not be a team You won't act in your plays While I write my dreams You see something in me That isn't there Go to LA and let me be

I stand with my feet In the water Letting the icy waves Bury my feet in the sand Erasing my footprints So I had never Walked here

The water that touches me Touches you It glides along your ankles And the tide rushes over us Though we stand In different oceans

When I get home My cat looks at me The same way she did Back then Only the fur on her chin Is gray now Her eyes are watery

There's a tap on my shoulder I know it's you I look behind me And all I see is the door I turn the lock Turn off the front light Going to bed without you

You're in between the sheets Your blankets are green Mine are brown Together we must be Like the earth That connects us

The salt of the sea Is on my skin I think that you can smell it That with my eyes closed Your arms around me Whispering Take me back there

My cat settles herself In the bend of my knees I wonder if she remembers you As she yawns loudly Falling asleep soundly Just as I do

White, red, and green lights Add softness to the dark nights The nights that feel like A warm cup of tea Nights I wish you were here With me Then I remember that you are In the passenger side of my car Don’t you worry about the roads I know they don’t feel like Your roads at home We drive on Christmas Eve Down these old familiar streets It’s one of those years we’re Covered in snow That blankets us in its cozy cold Let’s do a jigsaw by the TV Watching the fireplace dancing freely I know you don’t care For this time of year Still I’m glad that you are here The tree doesn’t look the same When you’re not around Though your world is upside down But we’re right side up in a snowglobe Tonight let’s call that home In a world of pine and wreaths Crackling fires and flannel sheets When I sing to you all those Annoyingly festive songs And you smile and sing along I’ll never try to change your mind To make you love Christmastime I just love sitting with you On a silent night In the glow of these beautiful lights

What are your dreams? They say What do you mean? I say

Don't you have goals? They ask Nope I laugh

How can you not? They say I guess I'm a sloth I play

You must have a job They say Certainly not I say

Contribute to society! They exclaim I have anxiety I explain

So what do you do? They question I write and I muse I tell them

But what about money? They implore I have enough to be free I retort

What makes you this way? They ask why I'm content all my days I reply

Such wasted life They dismay My world is bright I say

Your long hair falls Like silk curtains Over our ears As you lean your Face down close To mine and I feel At home here In our tiny world Between the strands

I am a wave The one you felt On the shore I crashed over you And became water Once more

You are the sand The earth That I long for When I am Out in the ocean With no oar

We are the gulls Look how far They soar Floating on the wind The whole sky To explore

Shave my head And cover me in a Black robe With a large hood So I can hide In the darkness Of my presence

And look me in My shadow eyes My face all that You can see So you must know Me by the magic Of my essence

I have no body You can feel My fluidity In the night sky And cherish My full moons And my crescents