I Am Sitting At The Window The Sun Is Out But It's Chilly It's A Lazy Golden Afternoon The Neighbor's

Half empty food bowl Partially used litter box Your last day remains

My body won't hold me There's too much of me for one, I'm more than just a face or skin Changing, never done.

I am a heart and a mind And the worlds in my head, I wasn't made by hands But sparked from fire instead.

Maybe I am energy Am I a spirit or a soul? So just being physical Is never really being whole.

Arms and legs won't cage me I am not grounded by the land, I know how it feels to fly When all I do is stand.

There are cracks In the pavement Outside my window Where trees have Stretched out their Roots, like the Asphalt is simply A weighted blanket

When the garbage Trucks bounce and Thunk over those Bumps in the road I can almost hear The trees laughing

This dreary morning January rain Falling onto icy snow Makes my eyes feel Heavy and tired

Roads caked with slush Cars splash through Brownish gray waves And I fall Down into the sludge

I sink like this month This month of melancholy I am crumbling Into these dirty waters Let me sleep in them

Let me sleep until This downpour lets up Until then I am fatigued These rains Beat me into submission

I miss loving you Where did that feeling go? I keep searching Through my pockets, Checking under the bed, Did it blow out the window?

Or did it simply Get smaller, start to fade? Like snow on a sunny day, Maybe it just started Dissolving away.

I think I misunderstood you Sandman, I apologize You were no devil but protector Throwing your sand in my eyes You kept me safe when I could not bear to be awake My Sandman, my savior I'm sorry, I never realized

When life got overwhelming You brought me a land of dreams A place to rest, to heal Created rejuvenating scenes You were no trickster Feeding me knock out mixtures I'm sorry for my behavior You've been a friend it seems

I'll be Venus You be Mars Let's be planets Then be stars Let's be ever Changing colors In a galaxy That's ours If you are darkness I'll be light The day is Always kissing Night We'll become one In the dawn Our heavy bodies Will be gone

The snow is old and dirty, Full of sand and gravel, Making the once pure white blanket A sight more saddening than before.

Trees that once flourished in the Summer breeze, warm air blowing Through the leaves filled with little Holes from snacking insects.

I look upon them now, Nearing the end of a harsh And dark winter that grabbed me By arm and dragged me down.

And I think to myself how I have the excuse or the right To complain, that it's my Prerogative to sink into the sorrow.

Yet she (that is to say my love) Knows better than to sing the song Sung a thousand times before, "These are my burdens."

To be a rose in the garden of her mind, Would I be watered and cared for? What more can a rose do But remain still, hoping to be beautiful?

I think of how she's never seen the snow, Seen it fall so elegantly, so peacefully, All the while freezing the earth And suffocating the grass under the weight of it.

And so as the seasons change Mother Nature warms the world, Thirstily soaking in the melting Of the ever changing landscape.

The dandelions that sprout in the Spring Aren't gathered up and handed out, Not asking to look pretty Yet still they are and always will be.

Maybe I could be the morning dew On an uncut and untamed lawn. I could sleep there for the night And wake renewed at dawn.

So rather than growing in her thoughts, Perhaps the real treasure would be Spending the winter bundled up In blankets together, not waiting for anything.

And when the sun is out and Shining in our eyes, we would embrace The day's warmth coming through the windows Of our tiny house in the woods.

As the sun rises out Of the early morning sky I shelter my eyes as It winks at me And I am warmed By the secret between us Of how days are made

Shine brightly, my sun Or are you shy today? Linger behind The safety of a cloud And if you are sad I won't look for you In your escape into rain

You come into the room Hair damp and spiked From the bathwater The towel around you Such a stark white In contrast to the ink That covers your body

You look at me with Those fierce, devouring Spanish eyes, te amo I did not believe until Now but you are my love Here, at first sight Keep me in this room With our paint and canvas Who is the artist and Who is the muse?

I forget myself as We ride through nights That never really end The moon ever brighter Warning us to stop We do not listen

Be done, untouch me I knew I would end up In your bed again, Again with your radiance Your harsh light Your brilliant mind That races ever forward With no finish line

I vanished and you Still search for me Your low voice like a Home, like a tempting Warmth, maybe it is The memories you want

You are the active Volcano I build a house Upon, and you erupted And we were burned away Ending the way we Began, so suddenly En ardiente deseo Nothing more than fire