Spider-simp - "Kyahahaha~!"

okay bro so I’m at school and there’s this kid who rambles and suddenly he goes “I like to end my Thursday night with a couple of drinks” and I was like ‘wait, what, dude you’re only 15-’ until he said “But the problem is, I’m all out of Capri Suns...”

LMAO I stg I don’t deserve this school

Strongest in the galaxy!

(reblogs are better than likes)

{Yokune Ruko is confirmed to be 90% male.}

{Probably gonna call Ruko a "he" from now on. Please don't correct me.}

{Happy Cinco de Mayo and have a good night.}

@divinelowblood

I finally had a Tumblr post-worthy thought.

Don't you ever, EVER, sit down on the toilet without checking for a spider first.

Because like

you ever just vibe in the shower with the spider sitting on its web in the corner closest to the ceiling?

It's a nice experience when you're having those nervous one-sided conversations as you're desperately trying to pop that pimple on your shoulder.

But like, what if the spider saw you use the toilet sometime before and then after you got out of the shower they were like

"Why do the gigantic two-eyed, four-limbed beings spend so much time on the shiny white stone domestic puddle?" and go to try it out for themself and then they just transcend space and time right then and there and are having this fantastic cosmic experience as their astral energy travels the multiverse

only to get suddenly smashed by a pair of asscheeks because somebody else in the house doesn't fucking look before they leap - or, in this case, sit down

just

just think about it

look before you sit on the toilet, people. Please, I'm begging you.

@toasterbrainsatyress

kirby on the phone

who spilled the cranberry juice cocktail

Snow Angel for Lumi and Wendigo for Salsor

Okay so. If (Y/n)'s Nickname is North star. What do you think Salsor's and Lumi's nicknames would be?. Lumi's could be: little snow flake or something. Tell me what you think the nicknames would be, if you want

The angel on my shoulder judging everyone and everything, including my life choices:

The devil on my other shoulder regretting my life choices for me:

people always talk about how the masses used to watch gladiator fights or public executions for fun, but we rarely discuss how people also went to human medical surgery’s for sport and entertainment, just showed up in a big tent and watched official operations, sometimes a flutist played music in the corner for it

like, “I’m not not dying of some random disease or having to work a 50 hour work day today, better go watch some dude get his leg sawed off in a science tent.”

what I’m saying is that it’s good we invented tv 

@kurogirifangirl @toasterbrainsatyress

Chillin’

Me writing a theory about Qilby while simultaneously hoping the Eliatropes will show up on Earth one day

My friends planning to hurt their ocs