Keep Bumping Into Me And Standing Too Close Because I Refuse To Crowd The Person Ordering At Starbucks?

Keep bumping into me and standing too close because I refuse to crowd the person ordering at Starbucks? Enjoy my farts.

So, the title really says it all. Here I am trying to be polite to the person ahead of me who is ordering at Starbucks when I feel that ominous “someone is way to close” twinge. I look over my shoulder and this woman is almost literally pelvis to butt cheeks and glaring at me like I’m personally preventing the life-saving coffee from being express-injected into her otherwise mind-numbing existence.

When I look away, I feel it. You know what I’m about to say… you know she “accidentally” bumped into me just enough to get me to step forward, and then the twinge comes back. This woman, after her little victory, is smugly trying to use personal space to get that microsecond of saved time so she can have her coffee.

I stand firm. I Ignore the inevitable second bump.

Now you may be asking, how far was he from the register? Ten feet? Twenty? No, my lurking friends, I was probably two standard average human paces from the guy ordering at the register. I always do this. If I get peeved at some jackass standing over my shoulder as I try to order, I’m certainly not doing it to someone else. Even if he is ordering every conceivable add-on to a Frappuccino his adolescent girlfriend sent him to get.

But not Miss Needs-a-Fix… oh no! She must be CLOSER! When her second bump failed to get results she tries huffing repeatedly. When her obvious frustration at my inability to acquiesce doesn’t work she begins to pretend to search the cold case hoping that’ll get me to move. Look lady, we ain’t stupid… you’re not interested in some cold chicken wrap, and I’m not moving.

Then the third bump hits, but I saw it coming. I am not ashamed of my genetic disposition to being a gassier human then your normal butt-trumpeter, but I try to not let fly in public queues. I made an exception and released my tenuous grip on a gut-gurgler I felt coming on at the start of this line-jockeying ordeal.

She bumps and I farts. I even let out a decidedly dramatic “Oh! Excuse me!” with as much feigned sincerity as possible…

You better believe my personal space was no longer invaded.

Relish that one, lady. I brewed it just for you.

TL;DR: impatient coffee queen wants me to move forward, bumps me intentionally three times, and gets a dose of “surprise” fart for her rudeness.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

More Posts from Squirrelhatesnuts and Others

5 years ago
Distances. #pascalcampion
Distances. #pascalcampion
Distances. #pascalcampion
Distances. #pascalcampion
Distances. #pascalcampion
Distances. #pascalcampion
Distances. #pascalcampion
Distances. #pascalcampion
Distances. #pascalcampion
Distances. #pascalcampion

Distances. #pascalcampion

5 years ago

Is this how it works? I'm assuming this is how it works.

archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Fandom: Video Blogging RPF/Markiplier Egos

Rating: General Audiences

Category: Gen

Characters: Dark, King of the Squirrels, Wilford Warfstache, The Author (mentioned)

Tags: Angst, Working things out, Vengeance, Pre-ADWM, Pre-AHWM

Words: 4k

Summary: Sometimes, the memories get a little louder, the pressure of the past pushes a little harder. Dark tries his best to distract himself from it all.

Maybe that was part of the problem.

if you like Dark being angsty and a confused doof with lots of repressed anger, give it a whirl????????? if you want to hahahah


Tags
5 years ago
Scotland Has Created An Official Tartan For Scottish Muslims: Blue For The Scottish Flag, Green For Islam,

Scotland has created an official tartan for Scottish Muslims: blue for the Scottish flag, green for Islam, w/ five white lines representing the five pillars of Islam, six gold lines representing the six articles of faith, and a black square representing the Holy Kabah. 

If you’re not Scottish, you might not know how big of a deal this is. Quoting Attire’s Mind: “This is a signal that they are not only just a full part of Scotland now, but family. Clans, as defined by tartans, are large scale families, and the totality of them encompass the family of the Scottish people. “ 

8 years ago
* You Observe The Objects Laid Before The Echo Flower. A Dusty Scarf Coiled Round An Unopened Bottle

* You observe the objects laid before the echo flower. A dusty scarf coiled round an unopened bottle of ketchup.

* The ketchup bottle’s label has a smudged ketchup stain on it. It hasn’t quite dried yet.

* With a swipe of your finger, you taste the ketchup.

* ...It’s not ketchup.

(sorrynotsorry)


Tags
1 year ago

in recognition of World Down Syndrome Day on March 21

1 year ago

It has been hard for me to talk about how what is going on with Israel and Palestine is affecting me personally, but I grew up in Gaza and most of my family still lives there. My father did not survive the bombings last week and I have not been able to contact my younger sister in days. I am try to being understanding that most people do not have personal connections to what is happening and therefore are justifying their silence, but is heartbreaking to see this misinformation being spread. What’s happening there is a genocide, not a war. It is not antisemitic to support Palestine, it’s not even antiemetic to criticise Israel. There is no grey area or neutrality regarding this, and it is so easy to find resources that will educate you on the subject. It is my people and my home being destroyed so I will never be silent about this, but I please urge everyone to get informed and start speaking up and finding ways they can help.

decolonizepalestine has tons of information on Palestine’s history/propaganda that has been spread throughout the years

UK citizens can email their MP asking for a ceasefire

US citizens can call/email their local government officials asking for a ceasefire

Jewish Voice for Peace also has many resources for ways for US citizens to get involved, including protests

Donate to Palestine Children’s Relief Fund

Donate to Medical Aid for Palestine

Donate to help get food and hygiene kits to Gaza

4 years ago
SenshiStock’s Gallery Consists Of Millions Of Pictures That Are Free To Use As Reference.
SenshiStock’s Gallery Consists Of Millions Of Pictures That Are Free To Use As Reference.
SenshiStock’s Gallery Consists Of Millions Of Pictures That Are Free To Use As Reference.
SenshiStock’s Gallery Consists Of Millions Of Pictures That Are Free To Use As Reference.
SenshiStock’s Gallery Consists Of Millions Of Pictures That Are Free To Use As Reference.
SenshiStock’s Gallery Consists Of Millions Of Pictures That Are Free To Use As Reference.
SenshiStock’s Gallery Consists Of Millions Of Pictures That Are Free To Use As Reference.
SenshiStock’s Gallery Consists Of Millions Of Pictures That Are Free To Use As Reference.

SenshiStock’s gallery consists of millions of pictures that are free to use as reference.

General Drawing Poses Sit and Kneel Dramatic and Reaching Drawing Poses Magic and Hogwarts Drawing Poses Staff Weapon Pose Reference Hammer, Axe and Bat Pose Reference Sword Weapon Drawing Reference Small Bladed Weapon Pose Reference Gun Weapon Pose Reference Bow and Arrow Archery Stock Foreshortening and Perspective Poses Dynamic Flying Falling Action Poses Deafeated or Laying Drawing Poses Magic Crystal Magical Girl Wand Weapon Transformations and Dance Cards Back Pose Reference Pin Up Inspired Poses for Drawing Performances Poses Life in General Poses Fights and Fighting Pose Reference Leaning Poses Classic Sailor Senshi Poses Wings Sailor Moon Villains Pairs Romance or Couples Pose Reference All the Male Stock Hanging Stock Drawing Reference Three or More Groups Instruments Mirrors Whip  Technobabble  

5 years ago
*this Is Especially Important: These Days On Tumblr There’s A Wonderful Atmosphere Of Being Able To
*this Is Especially Important: These Days On Tumblr There’s A Wonderful Atmosphere Of Being Able To
*this Is Especially Important: These Days On Tumblr There’s A Wonderful Atmosphere Of Being Able To
*this Is Especially Important: These Days On Tumblr There’s A Wonderful Atmosphere Of Being Able To
*this Is Especially Important: These Days On Tumblr There’s A Wonderful Atmosphere Of Being Able To
*this Is Especially Important: These Days On Tumblr There’s A Wonderful Atmosphere Of Being Able To
*this Is Especially Important: These Days On Tumblr There’s A Wonderful Atmosphere Of Being Able To
*this Is Especially Important: These Days On Tumblr There’s A Wonderful Atmosphere Of Being Able To
*this Is Especially Important: These Days On Tumblr There’s A Wonderful Atmosphere Of Being Able To
*this Is Especially Important: These Days On Tumblr There’s A Wonderful Atmosphere Of Being Able To

*this is especially important: these days on Tumblr there’s a wonderful atmosphere of being able to talk openly about your mental illness or your struggle. And that’s great! But there’s a difference between sharing in order to help yourself and other people and sharing just because you have no other coping mechanisms. As much as you’re able, try to work on developing a different outlet. People aren’t qualified to be your therapist because they’re nice to you a couple of times. Please remember that they have lives too, and their job is not to make you feel better or pity you, no matter how difficult your life is. 

And last but not least: 

*this Is Especially Important: These Days On Tumblr There’s A Wonderful Atmosphere Of Being Able To

But… 

I really don’t have a way to better this. 

Your interests are your own. I can’t advise anyone to change their interests to fit in with a certain group of people - that’s stupid, and actually quite damaging to your sense of self. 

Instead, I would recommend that, maybe if you feel like your topics of conversation are falling flat with this group of people, you move on to other, greener pastures. There are bound to be places where your ideas mesh better with an audience. 

And of course - try to be considerate about what you say and how you say it. 

Sometimes, what might seem like a harmless comment to you might be a very discomforting thought to another person. I recently had a conversation on a forum with a guy who was telling me that his headcanon was that Pearl (from SU) would soon get a male love interest who loved mechanics and weapons next, and that would be her best arc, because she would finally get a ‘healthy’ love interest. 

His intentions were good, but he was entirely unaware of how cringey this kind of thing was to a bunch of (probably queer) people, who have spent their entire lives being told that the only ‘good’ character development for them would be to get a ‘male love interest’. No one wanted to be the jerk to say “fuck off, we don’t want that to happen” but everyone was answering him in a flat way, trying to discourage the discussion further. Instead of picking up on the hint, he bulldozed on, thinking he was having a ‘lively conversation’ which was, in fact, in its late stages of death. 

I know I’ll probably get a few messages to this saying: What about people on the Autistic Spectrum? Sometimes, people can’t pick up social cues or ‘hints’. And if that’s the case, it’s incredibly difficult to understand why you’re not having any luck communicating despite your best efforts. 

I feel that on a person level, please believe me. I made this infograph for THAT VERY REASON. Because I WAS that awkward kid who didn’t pick up on hints well. In fact, I still have trouble talking to people. If any of you have had the misfortune of being my conversational partner, you’ll know that I tend to be overly blunt and come off as very unfriendly. It’s something that I, myself, am working on currently in order to grow into a better person. It’s a struggle in progress, but I am aiming towards the progress side, and I just wanted to help out others while I was at it. 

6 years ago

PSA: IF YOU LIVE IN ENGLAND PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE

Some of you may have heard about the UK Cat Killer, some sick fuck who has killed and mutilated over 300 cats and other animals such as pet rabbits and wild foxes over the past 3-4 years.

Recently there have been an influx of more killings especially around the South Eastern area, including Surrey, Hampshire, Sussex, Berkshire, etc, where the animals have been mutilated and either returned to their owner or left on footpaths and sidewalks where kids regularly walk to school. School children have been finding theses horribly mutilated animals. Most recently, however, on Monday a lady’s cat was found beheaded and splayed out in a star shape beneath her bedroom window in the morning about 2 minutes away from where I live, my mum works at a vets and was visited by Scotland yard police who advised everyone who lives in the area to keep their pets in at all times if possible. Especially at night.

So, since Tumblr is so American-centric, I thought I’d write a little PSA telling people who live in the UK to please keep your pets in at night, and if possible, during the day. 

Sources of information for those who want to read more about this arsehole:

https://www.getsurrey.co.uk/news/surrey-news/decapitated-cat-farnham-linked-uk-14770593

https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/947716/croydon-cat-killer-targets-young-girls-pet

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5693109/The-Croydon-Cat-Killer-mutilated-400-England-started-butchering-pets.html

SNARL is a good continuous source for those who wish to follow further

This has been a PSA, thank you.

6 years ago

Hey everyone. Just wanted to let people know to be wary of btwseptic on instagram. They repost art and edits and are very much an asshole about it.

I asked them nicely to credit my artwork of the Hairvolutiom and after I had it removed after their snarky comments they reposted it again.

Dont go hating on them but please check if there arwn’t any of your edits on their account.

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squirrelhatesnuts - Spewing Words
Spewing Words

Stani, Squirrel, call me whatever. She/her. I write stuff and sometimes throw them out into the sunlight. PP by my brother!

81 posts

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