by 馄饨夹生
I like to think that Peter Parker, Pepper Potts Bucky Barnes would have a club called the Alliteration Association. But hear me out
It's not an extravagant club or anything. They would probably just sit down and complain about people, work and just life in general.
It's just a place to chill and relax and do whatever you want.
Pepper would obviously be the head/leader or whatever you want to call it
Bucky would probably make the food
Peter would do what Peter does best and act cute
Wade would just drop in whenever and they'd always be happy to let him in.
They'd never have a place where they'd always be in
Once they were in the vents and Clint found out and wanted to join
He said that his name was Clint Barton and B and C are consecutive (?) to eachother in the alphabet
So they let him join.
Then Natasha obviously found out so when she asked they ket her in straight away.
Her exception was that she's badass and badass has 2 's' es
Then Steve probably found out and he could join cuz
America's Ass
And Tony would have been the last one to find out
After all the other avengers and people
And they'd let him in cuz, in Peter's words
"Tony and Stark both have a T in them"
And there would always be an exception
So they changed the name from "Alliteration Association" to "Non-alliteration Association"
Cuz nobody could think of something better
Bruce: *gets thrown a condom in the middle of class by a classmate* wtf do you expect me to do with this???? Like I have a gf??? Or a dick?
--
Bruce, *internally*: Maybe if I sit really still the teacher will forget I'm here and I won't have to take the exam
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Barbara: what kind of music are ya listening to?
Jason: radio static, because it's the only thing that accurately portrays my thoughts and feelings about this prison of a reality
Bruce: amen kiddo ill drink to that
--
Bruce: this literally tastes like ass
Ollie: how would you know what ass tastes like lol?
Bruce: you've SEEN my snapchat Oliver, figure it out.
--
Bruce, *texting*: alfie pls come pick me up before I eat a fourth orange
Peter: I don't have a dad...
Tony: What the fuck do I look like?
Steve in the background: Language!
People think the batfamily wear gloves as to not leave fingerprints. This is incorrect. They actually wear gloves to stop their fingernail polish from chipping.
💕 bruce wayne reading books to dyslexic!jason todd 💕
Police: Mr. Wayne sir, your child has been kidnapped.
Bruce: Which one?
Police: the kidnapper didn’t say. But witnesses claimed to see someone with black hair and lightish eyes. The kidnapper left a note threatening to orphan them for the second time.
Bruce:
Bruce: *stumbles*
Bruce: it's all Hal's fault
jason wants what hal has (to be the cause behind every major & minor inconvenience in bruce's life)
Dick Grayson, age 10, self proclaimed master gymnast, but he’s more well known as Robin, Batman’s first sidekick. Right now he had managed to get ahold of his father’s cowl and cape. It was far too big for him of course, but that didn’t stop him messily putting it on. Speaking in the most deep and gravely voice the small boy could muster he said to himself, “I’m the night.”
He giggled, until he felt a tap to his shoulder. He turned around and saw the Batman himself giving him an unamused look.
“I am the night. You however-” he lightly tapped his forehead “-are my star.”