I Love This Lamp Because It's Like, Oh A Nice Little Piece For An End Table :)

ROTTMNT: Intellectuals AU

Kay with the random AU posting (again)

That episode where Raph, Mikey, and Leo become smarter than Don due to hijinks except it’s a whole AU where they were born smarter, with a reverse on ninpo and tech use

Raph, due to being the eldest and strongest, follows Splints into mechanics. Leo adores space (Jupiter Jim) and studies to become an astronaut. Mikey is.. well he’s pretty smart emotionally already so there’s not much difference besides knowing more psychological terms lmao.

Don on the other hand is.. unlucky so to speak. Still a prodigy, but has to work a loooot harder than his brothers. Having lost his passion in tech due to a severe inferiority complex, he’s the only one to pickup a ninpo weapon and explore the world of magic in a hands-on lens. Still loves tech and studies theory, just doesn’t have the motivation.

I FREAKING KNEW IT, RIGHT WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOU PICKED UP THE CASSETTE I KNEW IT WAS A RICK ROLL RAHHHHH

A group of far-future linguists and archeologists suddenly *poof* into existence in front of me. One is holding a tablet. "What is the difference between 'red sauce' and 'tomato sauce?'" they ask me. "The distinction is not clear in extant texts from this time and place."

"Uh, they're the same thing," I tell them. "Who are you?"

"Yes!" the being with the tablet exclaims.

One of the other researchers groans. "No! My thesis...months of writing wasted..." One of the others comforts them.

"Now, what is this object for?" The first researcher holds up a discolored, dinged-up plastic object. It's clearly been buried in the ground for quite some time, but the two holes and the scuffed plastic window are distinctive.

"That's a cassette tape. You record music with it."

"Interesting, interesting." The being enters something on the tablet.

"How are you speaking English?"

"Sophisticated translation technology," one of the researchers confides. "We are students of your society. From the future."

"What does this pictogram represent?" The researcher with the tablet turns it around so that the screen faces me.

It's the eggplant emoji.

"Sex," I say. "Why do you need to ask me this if you can time travel or whatever? Can't you just go wherever you want to go and look around and see how these things are being used?"

The beings shift guiltily and look at each other. "Technically, travel to times and places prior the advent of time travel is strictly prohibited. Paradoxes, you know."

"Oh."

"We must get back before our advisor returns to the lab. Just don't tell anyone you saw us, alright? The space-time continuity depends on it. Can you do that?"

"Uh, sure, I guess?"

One of them pats me on the head. "And don't go to Mars."

"Okay. Wait, why? Is it dangerous?"

"No. Just not worth it."

The group disappears in a shimmering light.

The cassette clatters to the sidewalk behind them.

Out of befuddlement, mainly, I pick it up. It's clearly old, discolored and scuffed, but it still has tape in it.

I carry the tape around in my pocket for a while. The curiosity builds. I want to know what's on that tape. I don't have a cassette player anymore, so I go to Goodwill and pick up the first one I can find, praying that it still works. I plug it in. It turns on.

I slide the tape inside. It's dirty, but it still seems to be in decent shape. I snap the player closed and hit play. The wheels begin to turn. I hold my breath.

A familiar tune starts up. A wobbly voice comes out of the machine.

We're no strangers to love

JUST SAY FARTED BRO

YOU PRONOUNCE THE “ART” IN “FART” THE SAME WAY THAT YOU PRONOUNCE “ART” LIKE IN “ARTIST”

Now lets both calm down bbg and let me fart you up smth good 🫡💖

please help me understand how to read your blog name.

i dont know how and its actually driving me the hell insane

is it just farted?

or fuh-ar-ted

pleas help me

Lmao dude it’s a pun between the words “fart” and “art”

Because this is an art blog (technically)

gen z has to reckon with its radicalization problem. you are not a morally pure and superior generation of youth come to save the world, your men and boys are radicalized at an unprecedented level and you ignore it because it’s too hard to address but you have to. these boys are in your classes, they date your friends, you know them and you cannot continue to pretend this is an “old white guy” problem

YESSS, THEY JUST ASSUME HE’S SOME LAZY BUM FOR NOT COMING BACK

AND THEY ONLY NOTICED THAT HE WAS AWESOME WHEN THEY CHANGED HIS VOICE

[DUCKATLES 2017 SPOILERS]

Brooo Donald Duck basically raised his sister’s triplets after he thought she died for TEN YEARS like a single middle class mom with NO help (not even his rich uncle) and they never give him enough credit 😩

All while living on a boat lmao

I HAD TO DO THIS

I UPDATED MY PHONE AND IT CHANGED THE ENTIRE LAYOUT TO SOMETHING I DIDNT WANT RAHHHH I HAVE A HEADACHE

Memes can actually have a really positive effect on ones mental health

and I’m only saying this because for the past few weeks I’ve been telling myself “on that grinddd, the grind never stoppssss” and it’s been keeping me sane