Real

i loveeeee substance abuse and rats (as long as they are not near me) as wellllll what a coincidence !!!

OMG BRAIN TWIN BRAIN TWIN!!! (Ilysm🥹)

𝘏𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘢𝘴𝘧 𝘳𝘯…

Hear me out— random ass gojo headcannons cause it’s Wednesday 😏

“Babe— strawberry or vanilla? Or should we do blueberry?” Looking up at your blue eyed bimbo (lovingly), you gesture towards the freezer section with ice cream.

“Uhhh… all of it.” Gojo grinned, and pulled out his card, only for him to pause when he feels your hands pulling him in by the belt.

“Oh my god I’m literally in love with you.” You grinned and kissed his jaw, nails lightly grazing his v-line through his shirt.

“You are an easy woman to please.” Gojo snorted, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

I feel like he would deadass be the type to like rest his hand in the pocket between your tits and where the bra like peaks out a little. And we all know this man got some long fingers and a big hand too. I FEEL IN MY BONES that he would trace the curve of your tit, from like the center of your boobs to the other side. And he would not give a damn.

You and Gojo are at a benefit dinner he was invited to, so of course by extension— you. You were dressed to the nines, looking fine as hell with a wine red dress on. It hugged your curves perfectly, tits pressed together looking amazing in that deep v-neck.

Gojo had an arm around you maybe the whole night. Especially when you got a little tipsy from all the sips you’d been stealing from his glass all night. He had your back pressed against his chest, arms wrapped around your waist keeping you flush against him. His lips near your ear, whispering things that ranged from cute to downright despicable. His hands fit perfectly on your waist, and they’d slowly slide up and down your sides. His lips giving gentle kisses to your neck, even going as far to bite down on your jewelry just to tease you.

But when the dinner dispersed into a little bit of a party, the dj definitely on some of that white powder iykwim. Rhianna cut on and your song started playing, hips swaying against him, freshly done up nails gently raking against his forearm.

And oh Gojo knew he was getting some when you tilted your head back against his shoulder and stared at him with those pretty little eyes. Batting your lashes and giving him that mega watt horny smile.

And to think, you two looked so wholesome and cute to the outside world. Little did they knew Gojo was rocking a full bone and pressing it into your ass.

“You are so beautiful,” Gojo murmured against your neck, grinning when he could feel your pulse pick up. “But you already knew that didn’t you, pretty girl?”

“Mhmm,” nodding, eyes closed with a satisfied little smile, you leaned into him completely. “Take me home and fuck against the counter?”

“Absolutely.”

You and Gojo were that crazy couple that were down to do anything. Party all night? You got it. Smoke weed? You got it. Get black out plastered? You got it. Piss off some tweakers? You got it. Flirt with random people to get a discount? Hell yeah!

Istg Gojo would be so turned on knowing that other men find you hot, knowing that they could never have you and only he could. Like he loves to make guys jealous. Hell, even women. Something about seeing that envy in their beady little eyes had his balls heavy and his tip leaking.

Someone embarrassed you? Man or woman, Gojo is petty but so are you. So when someone wants YOUR, yes YOUR man, Gojo is all with it when you wanna flaunt your relationship. This man is dressing in a suit and taking you out for cocktails and shrimp. And you two are taking all the pictures, even feeding each other and being so lovey dovey it makes a lonely bitch SICK.

But when a man wants you? Gojo’s girl? Oh hell. Gojo is buying you new clothes just for you to wear around when you pick him up from work. (Only did it so he could be passenger princess and brag about his girl.) And when he sees that look of jealousy in those men’s eyes- he laughs. Sometimes he’ll whip out his phone and take a picture.

This mf ain’t letting shit go neither. You talk shit about his girl? Fish are in your vents. How? No one knows. You think it might be Gojo- but you got no proof.

You try and pull up on his girl? Gojo is videoing his gf whooping your ass. And he will be posting that shit.

Y’all I am actually so fucking high rn I’m about to green out I can feel in my lady halls ( . )( . )

Gojo fucks you like he hates you when he’s drunk.

Poll result imagine

Gojo had been knocking back shots all night. Celebrating that you’d agreed to be his finance, and accepted his ring. Lord he was happy. Got the girl of his dreams, the girl he’d been plotting over since kindergarten. The girl he has been in love with since fifth grade but he’d always sworn he’d been in love since y’all had a play date when you were both three.

It was just you and him. He didn’t want to be around anyone else for now except you. Even tho he did want to eventually show you off to all his friends.

He wore a button up shirt, the buttons unbuttoned, along with a pair of slacks. The belt unbuckled and the button unbuttoned, leaving his fly slightly unzipped. His glasses had been discarded on the counter and his hair was a mess. A sexy mess albeit.

And as he’d tap his glass on the counter and tip his head back, downing the shot— his eyes would remain on yours.

You weren’t much better. Just as buzzed as he was, and just as happy to be his and he be yours. You just wore his shirt and a pair of panties.

Hair still wet from your shower. You gave him a goofy smile, pulling him closer by his shirt. “What’s cookin’ good lookin’?”

“You are so corny.” A lot coming from Gojo, especially as he’d always crack the corny jokes. Letting you pull him closer, his hands resting on your hips. His forehead came to rest on yours, his eyes lidded as he stared down at you.

“Yeah? You like it.” You grinned, your nails gently raking down his chest before slipping them under his shirt. The feeling of your cold hands on his abs had them tensing, a quiet hiss leaving him.

“Maybe just a bit. But you know what I really like?” Leaning down, he whispered against your ear as he reached behind you, squeezing your ass with a grin.

You giggled, letting him pull you close as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “Yeah? You like me so much.”

“Oh absolutely.” Gojo pressed a kiss to your neck, following with a bite. Your breath hitched softly, nails squeezing slightly on his shoulders.

“My husband is so whipped.” You teased, your hand raising to tangle with the hair on his nape. Grown out from an old undercut as you tug it gently.

Gojo groaned into your neck, the title ‘husband’ had his body reacting way more strongly than it should’ve. Cock straining against his boxers, heart thudding against his chest. “Fuck, it sounds so good when you say it.”

You could smile before finally pulling his face from your neck and pressing your lips against his. His mouth tasted like Malibu, tequila, and rum with some shitty chaser. And it only made you more eager.

You trusted your fiancé, you’d spoken about drunk before, and you’d both decided that it was fine. You trusted one another and had a safe word already in place.

Plus. Being drunk made it more interesting.

Before you knew it, Gojo had you riding his face, thighs on either side of his head, his arms wrapped around them to keep you planted firmly on his mouth. His tongue putting in the work as he ate you out like a man starved.

He was groaning and moaning, his eyes rolling back each time you squeeze your thighs around his head. His hips pushed up into nothing, painfully throbbing cock pressing against his boxers.

Your hands ran through his hair and tugged, guiding him so his nose would bump against your clit and you could grind on his face. And Gojo was loving every fucking second.

“F-fuck— Toru!!” You’d squeal, the pleasure had your brain short circuiting. Your thought process already thrown out the window from being more than sloshed with an array of alcoholic beverages, but with how good Gojo was working you with his mouth, lord the only thing you could think about was him.

“You taste so fucking good, pretty girl.” He’d groan against your cunt before shaking his head a bit, grinning when you’d moan louder. He knew you were close, the way your clit was throbbing against his tongue and your hole was clenching around the fingers he’d shoved inside was a tell-tell sign.

“Mm!” You could only loan in response as you felt an orgasm hit you full force. Your thighs clenching and your cunt tightening like a vice around his fingers.

Gojo moved you to sit on his lap as he sat up. His face, nose down, absolutely covered in your arousal, he only grinned and licked his lips.

Brows furrowed, face completely fucked out, you breathlessly murmured, “you are fucking filthy.”

“Mhmm, you gonna ride my cock? Let me put a baby in my future wife?” Gojo wrapped his arms around you, pulling you flush against him, your spazzing cunt resting directly on top of his bulge.

“Mmhm.” Nodding your head, you let Gojo move positions. You let him lay you on your back, and move you so you had the back of your thighs pressed against his chest, your ass resting just belong his cock as he pulled it out, letting it slap against your aching cunt.

“So good for me, shit. Not gonna last long baby.” He grunted, eyes already fluttering closed as you pressed down on his dick so it’d be squished between the lips of your cunt.

“Fuck me already, husband. Want it so bad.” You could only whine, and press you hands flat against his v-line, urging him to press inside you.

“Don’t gotta ask me twice.” Gojo was quick to slowly slide in, however, he didn’t stop to let you adjust, no he slid in straight to the hilt. Stuttered moans slipped past his lips, his hips struggling not to slam against you with how wet you were.

“O-oh fuck, want your babies— please, please,” you babbled mindlessly, the feeling of that big stretch had your mind blank. The feeling of his dick in your guts enough to make you crave him more.

“You can’t just that,” Gojo groaned, before finally giving in and pulling out, just to slam back into you.

His hands were tight around the back of your thighs, nails digging into your soft skin as he pounded into you. His pelvis flush against your ass every time he fucked his cock into your tight cunt. Groaning and mumbling incoherent shit about how you were his wife and he’d make you pregnant as fast as fucking possible.

Your nails rake down the top of his thighs, leaving behind bright red trails that had him hissing in pain, but it only had his cock throbbing.

One hand moved off your hips, and he leaned forward so low that your knees touched your chest. One hand on the bed beside your head as he balanced and put all his weight into fucking you.

“Toru~!” You’d cry out constantly, eyes rolling back as he managed to get deeper inside you. You swore you could feel him in your guts. But then again that could just be the alcohol talking.”

“S-shit, I’m not gonna last baby.” Quickly, he moved a hand down between your thighs and only your click. Moving into tight, quick circles. “Cum with me, pretty girl. Wanna feel you cream around me as I fill you up.”

Gojo’s filthy words had you whining, but you only nodded. The extra stimulation had your back arching and your nails raking down his back inside of his thighs. It didn’t take long before you were cumming around him and he was filling your puss up to the brim with his seed.

It left you both panting breathlessly, seamlessly melting against one another as Gojo pulled around and plopped down beside you.

He immediately wrapped his arms around you, his face pressing into your chest, buried in your tits. Your thighs wrapped around his arms and your hands gently raked through his hair.

Thoroughly sated and exhausted. Your head spinning as you felt your eyes forcefully close themselves.

“I love you.” Gojo smiled and pressed a kiss to the engagement ring on your finger. Before allowing himself to pass out with you.

why is privacy so eroded. I get treated like a nutcase if I say no, I don't want strange companies taking pictures of my home and putting them online for maps or whatever. I don't want to be in the background of your tiktok, and I think it's weirder for you to assume I'm okay with it than it is for me to politely ask you to refilm it so my face isn't in the frame. I don't enjoy handing my employer a list of every online account I have and feeling under surveillance when I'm just shit posting or sharing pictures of my cats or garden harvest. I don't want to hear your private calls on speaker on the bus, esp when the person on the line doesn't know you're broadcasting their words to strangers. I don't want an algorithm guessing what will piss me off the most so I spend more time online, engaging with shit I don't want to see or hear out of outrage. I don't want any of this. it's total ass.

Sukuna who...

—won’t let you leave his sight once he’s had you in his bed. After he’s fucking you for hours in multiple positions, and after a he ruthlessly dragged orgasm after orgasm from your poor cunt that your brain is completely empty save for him.

No, he’ll have all four arms wrapped tightly around you, keeping you utterly smooshed against his chest. No chance of escape. And anytime you try to squirm away from him, his arms just tighten around you. His teeth dig into your neck as a warning bite as he side eyed you.

His behavior only gets worse from the first time he’d had you. You quickly became his favorite concubine. Leaving the other women to get jealous, especially when Sukuna announced that you would take up a permanent residence in his bed chambers.

After an ‘accident’, the concubines attacked you, Sukuna had beheaded all of them. In one day— no, in one hour. You’d quickly taken root in his brain, and if you’d ask him he’d say you were like a parasite that demanded his affection. He just loved you.

And while you were happy to become the main focus of his attention, it wasn’t all good. Especially because Sukuna refused to let you out of his sight for majority of the day. Treating you as if you were some brain dead pup who’d shatter without him.

Now that was kind of pissing you off.

Especially when, if any of the male servants try to speak with you, he’d kill them. And eat them. That bastard.

One good thing, however, was every night, or whenever he wanted really, he’d have you pressed against him, cock fucking all the way up into your cervix. Constantly folded and malleable just for him as he’d force orgasms out of you even when you thought you couldn’t give anymore.

He was obsessed. Obsessed with you, your tits, the way your ass would jiggle every time you go up a flight of stairs or when he’d spank you for being ‘naughty’. He was obsessed with way you’d always draw him a bath after he’d been out all day, even when he demanded that that was a servants job. He didn’t push hard at all.

Every little thing you did, was perfect to him. Hell even when you’d get mad and eventually start screaming at him, your face just about going red. He thought it was so fucking sexy when you were pissed at him.

Of course, he’d never apologize verbally… but he would always make you ride his face or the large and freaky mouth on his stomach. For hours. Until you said you forgave him.

Yes, ever since Sukuna had taken your virginity that first night, he was a man possessed since.

𝘏𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘢𝘴𝘧 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵.

𝘚𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵,

Gojo with a 5’6”, D1 crash out woman, fine as hell, short ass hell, and willing to throw down no matter what.

And Gojo LOVES it. Idc idc idc idc I’ll die on this hill, Gojo loves seeing his woman beat another bitches ass.

He’s the type to hype you up on anything. You could be totally wrong and he’d be cheering for you, and probably videoing it so he could show his students how cool his girlfriend was.

Y’all are out on a day date. It’s hot, you’re wearing a pair of jean shorts and a bathing suit top, Gojo in a simple pair of swim trunks and a shirt. When I say it’s hot, I mean Alabama heat, I mean 100* and you can cook an egg on the asphalt.

But even though it’s hotter than the devils ass, you actually weren’t that pissed off. Until ya’ll had left the little lunch spot after eating.

You’d heard one of the girls leaving the restaurant say something about how weird ya’ll looked together, followed by some other wack shit.

“What was that?” Tilting your head, you took a few steps toward the girls. Your brows furrowed and a scowl pulling on your features.

The girls glanced at each other, before the other girl whipped out her phone and the other decided to be a little shit taller through and through.

“I think you heard me. Your boyfriend has weird fucking eyes.” She repeated, loud enough for Gojo to hear.

“Beat her ass babe!” Gojo yelled from his spot on the sidelines, phone up as he recorded.

“I swear to god I will bounce your face off this hot ass concrete if you keep testing me.” When she didn’t back down, you were quick to take your earrings out and pull your hair up.

The other girl was clearly not expecting you to follow through, eyes wide as she began to quickly try and copy your motions. However, your hand was tangled her hair faster than she could even take her right earring out.

To say you whooped that bitches ass would be an understatement. By the end of it your hair was a mess, your arms were bruised and you had scratches all over your shoulders.

But when the boyfriend of the girl exited the restaurant and began running at you, Gojo was quick to put his phone away and step in front of you. His hand plant firmly in the man’s chest to shove him back. “Back the fuck up.” He demanded, before giving him a shit eating grin, “your girl already embarrassed herself enough. Don’t make it worse by forcing me to knock your ass out.”

To say you were pleased when the guy just scooped up his girl and quickly walked off to his truck, would be an understatement.

Crossing your arms, you smiled up at your boyfriend. “You are so sexy when your like that.” You teased, your smile widening when Gojo pulled you in by your belt loop.

“Oh yeah?” Gojo leaned down to plant a kiss on your lips, onto to pause, “Your hair is nappy.”

“Don’t play with me.” You glares at him and pulled away, pulling your hair into a messy bun.

“I’m kidding- baby wait up! Let me love you!!!”

I hated this… been watching glee because I’m bored asf right and now this shit has rubbed off on me cause what is this 😀

How do I catfish old men into giving me money? I’m broke as a dog and need my fix

garden injuries part 3 when??? i loved the first two parts 😛

coming soon dw dw

People don’t talk enough about how borderline PAINFUL taking Satoru’s cock would be. He’s a big man, over 6’3, with big ass hands and big ass feet. Of course his dick would be big too. Virgin or not, everytime he fucks you, he makes you feel like one regardless. Taking Gojo’s cock doesn’t become easier overtime, but you two manage to make it work out. The way his dick curves into your sweet spot, his tip borderline trying to break into your cervix, bruising it everytime you all fuck. He leaves you with cramps in your stomach, making you take a day or two off from work, while his big ass hands become your personal heater as you recover.

Hear me out—

(I’m high as shit and I just thought about this)

“Baby can you hear me?” Large hands cradled a pale face. Thumb gently rubbing under your eye. “Come on, eyes open.”

A small groan sounded from your throat, eyes opening— only because they were being pried open by your boyfriend.

“There she is,” Relieved, Gojo sighed softly and rested his forehead against yours. “Thought you’d gone into a coma or some shit.”

“No, get off me you heavy bastard.” You weakly pushed at his shoulders. Your body felt heavy, weak. Your head ached and your eyes throbbed as they got used to the light. “What even happened?”

“You wanted to play fight… and the rest doesn’t matter,” He laughed awkwardly, bright blue eyes looking anywhere but your beautiful face.

“Quit being a knowledge prude. What happened? I can’t remember.” You sat up fully, hand against your head as you scooted down the bed. Legs dangling from the mattress.

Gojo rolled his eyes but his lips quirked into an amused grin, “You can’t remember what happened but you can remember to be a little shit?”

An annoyed smiled forcibly rose to your lips, “little shit huh?”

Gojo stared at you for a few moments, cheeks flushing in embarrassment as he looked away, “I— you ran at me… and I picked up and,” pausing, he peaked at you, then the very big bruise on your head that was slowly starting to knot and slowly, the embarrassment turns to guilt. “And, I dropped you on accident. On the head.”

You stared at him for a moment before looking away. Before little stifled snorts and giggles began to slip.

“Are you— are you laughing?” Gojo looked at you bewildered. Expecting you to be mad, maybe even cry? At least then he could tease you about that then.

“Imagining you actually freaking out and crying over me is kind of funny.” You give him an amused smile. It wasn’t often you could really tease Gojo. But seeing the little red streaks down his cheeks was a major tell tell.

“I did not— whatever.” Leaning forward he pressed his lips to yours o an intimate kiss. Soft at first only move into a deeper rhythm when he leaned in further. Slowly pinning you down on the bed, only to try and run his fingers through your hair—

“Ow!” Quickly pulling away, you held his wrist in a grip to keep his hands away from your sore and bruised scalp. Tears began to spill from your eyes, bottom lip quivering.

“Fuck I’m sorry- you okay?” Quickly moving to cup your cheeks, brows furrowed in concern. “You need a doctor.”

Although, the cries turned to a giggle. It was just too good, after so long of being teased, he fucked up and now it’s your turn. You were going to milk this for all that it’s worth. “You cryin’?”