The Fact That This Is 100% Canon Dialogue… That Kara Got Those Journals For Lena In The End… When

kara "excuse me sir thats mine" danvers

tiny supercorp going home from work

All of these summaries of what the hell goes through their brains gives me life 😂😂

WHAT A YEAR THIS GAME WAS

okay, it’s minute 76 of utah royals vs portland thorns and in what is probably the most chaotic three minutes in all of 2019 soccer, this happens:

emily sonnett, in an accidental attempt to kick things into overdrive, proceeds to tap amy rodriguez like one of those rodents you whack at the carnival sending her headlong into the turf and lindsey michelle horan HAS. HAD. IT. i know what you’re thinking: isn’t sonny the star or this capital C chaos? no, it’s lindsey.

first of all, i’m in love with her. second, the great horan has spent this entire game pushing and screaming and shoving, so that fucks! but let’s get back to a-rod, who in the midst of falling face first onto the field, hears: RECORD SCRATCH-FREEZE FRAME-YEP, THAT’S ME and instead of clutching an ankle and wondering how she got into this situation until a foul is called, she springs from the grass like a cat on it’s 8th life and proceeds to yell, not regular, but BLOODY murder to the entirety of rio tinto stadium:

she is PISSED. she wants a foul, a red card, and probably the keys to a mansion in beverly hills at the rate the ref has pranced over to her defense— like okay law and order, we get it, you literally hold the cards afaksksk. if that weren’t nuts and granola crazy enough, a-rod decides soccer isn’t any fun without a chaotic outburst and i’d be out of a job (lol i wish someone would pay me to do this) and realizes: why accept this utterly plebeian form of justice when you can… start a brawl in the middle of the pitch!

she marches over to sonnett like she’s invading a small country or kicking off a protest in the street, sending her ponytail sashaying with the sort of supermodel swagger tyra banks would be proud of. if this were a made-for-tv musical, someone’s honor would be defended by a dance-off. but this isn’t hollywood and no one is pirouette-battling to a synth-pop beat. instead this is a friday night in sandy, utah and apparently that’s all it takes for 22 people to go from earnestly playing sports to completely fucking losing it. because let’s be realistic, this is a chaotic choice. screaming and pointing at a confused frat daddy junior is chaotic. defending your ten sheets to the wind teammate while also stopping her from starting a revolution is pure, that’s right, chaos. dagný brynjarsdóttir, appearing utterly unfazed by this whole thing but still managing to scream ‘HEY’ really loudly from two feet away is one thousand percent chaotic. and still more chaos ensues when lindsey and tobin arrive:

lindsey could maybe buy a little zen garden and rake some sand around but instead she settles for one tiny tap of aggression and low-key look at this restraint, she’ll be saving that energy for later. tobin however literally shoves two people, and maybe the earth’s center of gravity, into next week the way you would shove someone into on-coming traffic in the middle of rush hour. never mind the fact that her girlfriend (wife?) is wearing the same jersey as the enemy. never mind SPORTS BEING PLAYED. tobin, who historically cannot be bothered to spare one simple fuck for shenanigans, has stolen the flag of chaos and is now waving it wildly across the field. honorable mention goes to christine ‘get off my lawn’ sinclair for the arm swinging/head nod combo that seems to say, “yeah, and don’t come back to utah, either!” but take a look at one emily sonnett crossing the middle of the screen as she…

SLINKS QUIETLY AWAY??? WTEF. sonnett took one look at this family-dividing mess of a murder and said, ‘NO MA’AM, NO HOW.’ she is in and out of this crime scene like a thief in the night. she just, and i cannot stress this enough, strikes the match for this dumpster fire then floats over that river of chaos like a baby in a basket. AND LITERALLY NO ONE NOTICES because they’re too busy grasping at the last desperate straws of sanity. PHEW. even becky sauerbrunn is like ‘linds, chill’ and lindsey gives her a look like, ‘team usa, MY ASS.’

so for the first time in her freshman frat boy life, emily ‘well what happened was’ sonnett decides to act like the only adult on the field and casually goes to check in with the ref. with the mass hysteria going on, it’s clear red refy has completely forgotten sonnett’s previous offenses and the gentle, some may even call it soft, elbow touch alerts him to the fact that her playing time is over but not forgotten. sonnett takes one long walk back to the bench and just when we think things have taken a turn for the mundane, lindsey love of my life horan decides, IT’S TIME TO RUN THIS MF TRAIN AGROUND:

lindsey takes one look at a-rod standing over the ball and charges over like some little christmas elf about to pilfer frosted cookies, yeets her a foot off the ground, and then casually scampers away because LINDSEY SAID NO ONE TREATS FRAT DADDY JUNIOR THAT WAY. LINDSEY SAID GAY RIGHTS. LINDSEY SAID WORLD PEACE AND DIVINE UNIVERSAL ORDER. she just launches her with the velocity of a ten-ton truck, backwards, WITH A FLIP. (another special s/o to dagný brynjarsdóttir because wtef do they pipe into the water in iceland that no amount of first-hand murder witnessing will ever phase her?? SHE LITERALLY LOOKS UP THEN LOOKS AWAY HOLY FUCK)

idk what lindsey is saying here but she’s screaming. and if you listen closely, you can hear laura harvey screaming. everyone is screaming. in fact, everyone is losing it. FFS WHERE ARE THE LOCUSTS?? but also, if ever you were going to order more soup for say, twenty-five people at an italian fast-casual restaurant and then encourage the waiter to throw in free breadsticks, it might look something like this?? maybe a teammate of club and country can help calm things down…

with an ass pat??? ad franch, my guy, it is too late for ass pats of tranquility. you tried. but that card the ref is hunched over is yellow and it has lindsey’s name on it. does she care? no. but for the rest of the game, lindsey will roam from box to box, leaving no square of grass un-crunched, daring any utah player, even the injured ones somewhere hundreds of miles away on a stationary bike slowly pedaling through rehab training, to challenge her. she is both lonesome cowboy and trusty hunting dog, tracking signs of royals blood through the vast plains of utah and that distant sound you hear? lindsey. howling in the name of emily ann sonnett at the crescent moon.

But did you see the way Paul Munsky ended up falling for Ellie instead of Aster?

Just right after Aster kissed him, he looked straight to Ellie’s window. At the start, all he could say about Aster was that she was smart and pretty, but if he was asked then what made him like Ellie (after everything they’ve been through together thus far) I bet he would’ve been able to list his own reasons the same way Ellie listed hers for Aster. And that scene!!! When he checked on her during the party, tucked her into his bed when she got hella drunk (which would mean he’d have to sleep on the floor maybe, idk), and he saw the letters she wrote for the food critics to give his taco sausages a chance… ah, the way he sat on that armchair maybe realizing what love really felt like for the first time. After the game where he scored, he looked for Ellie, not Aster. By the time he tried to kiss Ellie, he didn’t mind that Aster saw because his feelings had been made clear to himself. During the ending scene he looked like he had some stuff he wanted to say and couldn’t (knowing who Ellie wanted), but he still chased after her train.

And you know how he overheard Aster singing from out the music room window at first? He stopping during practice just to listen? We can actually see his affection shift to Ellie when he overheard her composing her song from out her window, and he also stopped to listen.

I know this is a gay coming-of-age movie, but part of it was also a straight dude falling in love with a lesbian. This storyline was blessed with such a soft, sincere, loving, understanding boy. All that concern? Helping Ellie’s dad prepare her college meals? Helping her pick out clothes for the seniors talent show? I’m wrecked —

I don’t appreciate any of y’all hating on him and you can fite me. Paul ended up redeeming himself from that “it’s a sin, you’re going to hell” comment just by caring enough to google about gay people so he could expand his perspective — so he could better understand Ellie. And of course there was the church scene.

Way to go, Paul Munsky.

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!❤️❤️❤️

avatrice stuff that i intend to finish

I'm actually unshakeable as a Pazzi truther because of what we went through with Preath lmao. Like everytime people act like we're in the trenches with these two, I just think omg y'all would not have survived Preath. And I honestly wasn't even there for the very beginning of the Preath era but I know that shit was insane levels of literal morsels of crumbs lmao.

As a Preath 2017 fan this is so true. The only content we got was zooming in on glasses, shadows and colors of shoes to see if they are together for years! This is literally a walk in the park at least they act like they know each other and not like Preath who tried so hard to pretend they didn’t even know each other on the pitch 💀The vibes are the same though and I hope one day we get as far with Pazzi as we did with Preath (hopefully it doesn’t take 9 years though!)

AND NOW PREATH ARE OPENLY TALKING ABOUT HAVING BABIES

Like we've really come incredibly far with those two and literally who would've thunk it.

Lmao technically, it's already been like 7 years with Pazzi too? But I really do believe the last couple of weeks (and I expect the rest of this summer) are slowly building there way up to a "hard launch" next year after Azzi leaves UConn.

As if we were the ones tying Azzi to Paige and not them, forgetting that other people exist.

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325

Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

Keep me updated? xx

You up? Alex Krokus