stsumugi11037 - stsumugi
stsumugi

A personal blog, this is as eclectic as my Spotify playlists.Zakkura, shigadabi, danganronpa, csm, Poppy the singer!I draw, I write, I game.Aroace, sex-pos., 21+, Taurus, INFP 9w8You can find me at: lunapony3 (ao3) and suumer1bolt1 (twt)

223 posts

Latest Posts by stsumugi11037 - Page 6

9 months ago
Scene From Come Into The Water By @jacksbile

scene from come into the water by @jacksbile

9 months ago

Commentary on aroace/lesbian “fujoshi”

CW: talk of porn (the good and the bad), sex, and gender. Pretty graphic language and imagery. Sex repulsed aroace people BEWARE.

I would like to start this off by saying I am an aroace lesbian. What does that mean? Simply - I don’t want sex, nor romance, but if I did, I know where I’d find it. I love WOMEN. All women. Any women. I also really like yaoi, and I’ve seen some minimal discussion about specifically women who love yaoi or BL, and I’d like to add my two cents.

Several people online seem to take “lesbians liking yaoi” as just a natural reaction to the overall market of fiction. That is to say, there’s not a lot of options. There is a side to yuri which appeals to women, yes. But the way I see it, it’s either magical girl or slice of life, or, written by a man. And most of the stuff written by men is porn - bad porn. Thus it doesn’t appeal to women who actually like women.

In the same vein there is hetero stuff, which some lesbian/aroace yaoi enjoyers say doesn’t appeal to them because the majority of it has a male/female dynamic that is skewed. Oftentimes the woman is portrayed as weak or perhaps just isn’t a correct representation of the lesbian/aroace consumer. So why even bother?

Anecdotal, but I have had this experience too. I have a hard time getting into any kind of hetero ship because the women are often unrelatable or worse - just uninteresting. I don’t like men, so why would I care if it was just some faceless dame and her super hot husband? I don’t give a shit about him.

I’ve found that I enjoy a lot of hetero ships from demon slayer. Some may find this contradictory because there has been some commentary on the usefulness or intrigue around women in demon slayer. I think the demon slayer women are very interesting, story wise and appearance wise, and they fit very well with the men I ship them with. That is to say - men in demon slayer are simps for beautiful, strong, independent women - and I eat that shit up.

Most hetero stuff, however, is victimizing the women. Knowingly or unknowingly. It’s sad that if I want to get my rocks off to Mitsuri x Obanai, I have to scroll through like eight pages of the same inflation, big tits big ass no tummy, fart porn all sourced from the deepest dredges of Apocrypha. In fact, most of the time if you have the balls to like a fictional woman enough to want to see her getting respectfully banged, the cisgender heterosexual gooner men have already beaten you to the punch - and now you see her with her face in a smelly man’s ass. (All real examples by the way)

So it’s not to say I don’t like yuri, or hetero, it’s just that if I want to see women getting railed - I’m very particular. As I should be.

Yaoi, some people on the internet say, sets the men it’s focused around on equal footing. Instead of the woman being the damsel or a plain sexual object, the uke and seme are usually just two dudes. Not to say there aren’t power dynamics in yaoi - just to say that those power dynamics don’t hurt my pride as a woman. It doesn’t victimize a girl for somebody else’s sick kicks.

Yaoi, at least the kind I read, also can have an element of one man (the uke) usually being pretty soft or feminine. Why? Well that’s a pure reflection of how I (and other people) view sex. There is the giver and the receiver, the top and the bottom, the dom and the sub. Not that those lines don’t get crossed - they do, all the time. But as good ol’ Tevye says about Anatevka… TRADITION! (Sorry. It’s 3 AM)

The way I see it, it’s a way of having that traditional dynamic (pretty soft bottom and strong handsome top) without victimizing a woman. I do the same with yuri ships - I absolutely love love love a stone top with a pillow princess. And also - and I say this with no sense of shame - femboys are cute. Women are the superior form. Soz. So it’s awesome to see a man invoking his feminine side. It’s not like it makes him any less of a man. No matter how many times my mom peers at my drawings of Cloud Strife and says, “She’s pretty.” It doesn’t change the fact that he is him.

Gender is a fickle thing. It comes and it goes. I used to have a very conservative view of gender, and even sexuality. I was a “gold star lesbian”, and wanted nothing to do with men (still do, irl). You know what changed me? You’re gonna laugh. My Hero Academia. Oh, did I say you were gonna laugh? I meant cringe.

It’s not what you think. Bakudeku actually traumatized me - not the ship itself but one story I read on AO3 that I now understand for the masterpiece of terror and grossness it is. I would drop it but I don’t want to draw any undue attention to it.

What changed my mind on gender was actually Tomura. It didn’t even happen on purpose, l didn’t see him and go, “Oh he’s pretty, let’s dump a little more estrogen into him”. I shipped him with Dabi, paired them off as two dudes gettin it on, and I was loyal to my m/m ships. I ignored the ones tagged “Trans Tomura Shigaraki” because my brain refused to compute it. But then… I ran out of male fics. Well ran dry. I was getting anxious. I needed my shigadabi fix and how to get it?

Well. Can’t be that bad for Tomura to have a pussy.

… huh. He’s cute.

Oh no.

And that’s how it happened.

Just like that, my worldview shifted. Proud to say I’m a lot more open to gender and sexuality, now. It’s sometimes hard to admit that I used to have such rigid views. It’s a bit embarrassing - but I was also 13. My Hero just gave me the push I needed to grow up.

I’ll wrap it up now.

If you’re a lesbian or if you’re aroace and you like reading yaoi - don’t feel bad. Don’t even question it. Fiction is fiction, we’re here for such a short time you might as well enjoy the things you consume, whatever that may be. It doesn’t make you any less of who you are. It might mean that you’re just a feminist. Or it might mean you have some issues with your gender you need to hash out. Or maybe it means you just like hot guys. Who cares?

Some people argue why lesbians and aroace people like yaoi so much. There are many different answers. I’m not really concerned with them, anymore, now that I’ve found my own. What does concern me is the amount of people who I assume are outside of fandom circles… never having heard of women (lesbian or not) enjoying yaoi or BL. Several reddit comments asked, “There are lesbians who like that stuff? I’ve never seen one.”

Lemme tell you, these people are missing something awesome in life. Yaoi written by women is like fucking crack.

Commentary On Aroace/lesbian “fujoshi”

Tags
10 months ago

Did you know! Ouppy and Kity are hugging! And kissing! And snuggling! And... Oh... Oh my...


Tags
10 months ago
This Is Uh Specifically Elf Cloud Because Im Both A Fan Of Ff7 And The Elder Scrolls

This is uh specifically elf Cloud because im both a fan of ff7 and the elder scrolls


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10 months ago
Sleepwalking
Sleepwalking
Sleepwalking
Sleepwalking

sleepwalking

1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
Girlfriends
Girlfriends
Girlfriends
Girlfriends

girlfriends <3

1 year ago

The ambivalence of life: the massage metaphor 

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

I'm going to get straight to the point: Denji is perfectly right to want to suffer - it's precisely what he lacked in his 'normal' life.

To understand this, let's go back to the chapter.

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

Introducing Denji as a CSM wannabe right at the start of the chapter isn't as insignificant as you might think, because this chapter helps to differentiate between CSM and a CSM wannabe.

After all, Denji could very well be one, and chapter 150 makes it clear that the protagonist's dream is to be a CSM, so he literally wants... to be a CSM.

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

But in order to become CSM himself, we have to understand what CSM is. And that's precisely where the difference lies between a CSM wannabe and Denji as CSM.

Part 2 has repeatedly shown that 'CSM' has become a marketing product, an idol for young people, a source of detestation for others, like express usurpers who have taken to the stage. In short, CSM's identity began to become more diffuse, questioned to the point where it seemed to escape Denji. So what is CSM? 

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

Well, let me ask you this: what's the first thing you think of when I mention CSM?

Most fans will cite the most traumatic and tragic chapters, shuddering at the mere mention of volume 9. There's your answer: suffering is the secret of CSM's identity. 

But let's move away from this more meta side, and get back to the chapter. 

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

I know that Nayuta being pushed aside and put in her place stung some people's hearts and it hurt me too! But Denji is right to push her away, cruel as that may seem. Because the complexity of Denji and Nayuta's relationship also lies in the fact that their relationship can have several negative sides.

Firstly, Nayuta is and remains the demon of control, a demon who can't help but have a hold, even over those she loves. And she has done this with Denji on one occasion: when she forbids him to see Asa again.

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

She forbids it out of a desire to protect him, fearing that Denji will be taken in by yet another girl. This reaction depresses Denji, but he regains hope by acting as CSM, motivated by Nayuta herself because CSM is admired and loved by people. The first instinct at this stage would be to think that this is a bit contradictory: why push Nayuta away when she's the first to admire and encourage CSM? 

Because she hasn't grasped what CSM is all about either. I'll expand on that later, but for now, keep in mind that suffering is intrinsic to CSM. Even when she prevented Denji from continuing his story with Asa, she was preventing Denji from suffering, in itself, from experimenting. The same experience can be just as beneficial as it can be negative, and it's part of the game of life not to know the outcome of a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't go with others.

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

And that's what Nayuta has done, the demon of control has a happiness that's enough to be two, it's a demon that risks being alone so much that a single loved one is enough to make her happy. But that's Nayuta's idea, not Denji's. 

This chapter is an equation
Tumblr
You: ooooooookkkk Loulou not only are you late but now you see 'plus' in the chapter name so Fujimoto magically becomes a mathematician Wel

I'll come back to this a bit more, but for the moment I'm still going to follow the chapter. Denji almost comes to thank Barem and the others for burning down his house and his pets, but he's also aware that morality is being undermined and even talks to Pochita about it. And that's fascinating. 

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

Even though it may seem horrible, the loss of his animal family allows Denji to realise that he needs this suffering in his life, for many reasons. If Kishibe judged Denji as a man made to kill demons, it's because suffering makes him gloat, because it's the most intense experience he's had in his life.

Transforming himself into a CSM is a way for Denji to confront suffering; he has even internalised it since he was a child, making his body suffer to pay off his debts.

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 
The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

CSM is a creature made for suffering. When Aki became possessed by the Gun Devil, CSM was the culmination of Denji's suffering, his demonic form killing his brother. Just as Denji transformed into Pochita was saved by a dying Power.

The foundations of Denji, Aki and Power only consolidated Denji's relationship with suffering. This double facet, between love and suffering through grief. Pochita is another example, because becoming CSM was followed by an experience of mourning, the loss of Pochita who had merged with him. 

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

Suffering is as intrinsic to all species as are death and love because suffering is the result of both, the love we have for others is the cause of our suffering when they die.

CSM is this universality, with Pochita sacrificing himself to prevent Denji from dying, suffering every time the cable is pulled. And instead of fighting it, CSM uses it as the engine of his chainsaws. When Nayuta says that this is not the time for chainsaws, she wants to prevent her brother from suffering. But Denji understands that it's precisely when he's suffering that it's time to be CSM. 

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

Having your head and arms brutally chopped off hurts, fighting demons hurts, in short, transforming into a CSM physically hurts and must hurt. Imagine having a cable cut in half across your torso: it hurts, so why pull it? That's why Denji IS CSM, because it's when it hurts that he realises he wants to be CSM? 

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

Hybrids don't exploit this pain, demons like the Eternity Demon are even afraid of it, and that's what explains CSM's superiority: suffering exalts him and he uses it as a means to fight. When Quanxi cut off the weapons' heads, it was enough for them to admit defeat, while Denji calmly puts his head back on, not giving up the fight. 

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

Weapons can't die, but they can see others die, just as suffering can't escape them either. Either they see themselves almost as demigods, as prophets, or they can see themselves as great knights out to save the world.

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

Denji knows how to exploit his nature; he drinks blood at the slightest opportunity, tries to devour like a demon and is not afraid to use it, unlike the other hybrids. (Quanxi is an exception)

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 
The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

As the spear weapon starts to provoke CSM by saying to really scare them, CSM exploits being sliced in half. Suffering is the fear of weapons.

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 
The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

The whole thing also has a symbolic force, because we've been trying endlessly to cut Denji in two, his human life on the one hand and his life as CSM on the other. Cutting CSM in two won't do him any good, all he has to do is pull his cable.

But above all, the comparison with massage is a very good one, because it sums up life, this combination of good sensations and not-so-good ones. This is precisely what pitted Denji against Makima, that bad films or bad facets of the world and humanity must exist.

This time, part 2 doesn't boil down to this ideology; what Denji is saying is that to live is also to suffer, to be happy is also to have been unhappy. All these things are not mutually exclusive, they go together. 

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 
The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

That's why Denji wins against the weapons, because he won't fight against the suffering they'll put him through, he'll use it to the full, knowing that behind it all there'll be a good feeling. And that seeing the positive side even in pain is nothing other than hope.

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 
The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

Denji himself says that life is a superposition of all these facets. There are things we may never get over, but they don't stop us from moving forward. That's why this chapter is incredible, because Denji doesn't accept suffering as a demon when he's fighting, he wants to accept it in his life too, Denji's life, he has to experiment without Nayuta's permanent approval. 

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

Denji has lost many people close to him, including his pets. It is precisely through their loss that he wants to suffer. Because suffering is the privilege of the living.

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

Chainsaw Man is nothing more than 2 entities reunited to survive together.

CSM's laughter is symbolic of this, and chapter 151 made an explicit reference to chapter 82 when Makima starts laughing despite the paroxysm of suffering for Denji, who has just seen Power die. What Fujimoto does is bring together the previous antagonist and the protagonist, to bring out the essence of his work.

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 
The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 
The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

Both Makima and Denji laugh despite the horror of the situation as the mask finally comes off, Makima presents her plans and Denji realises what Chainsaw Man is. In short, laughter is the symbol of letting go, as the mask finally comes off. And all this sums up Chainsaw Man, this confrontation between comedy and tragedy, this strange association.

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 

Readers, don't fight the suffering of the characters either, you're reading CSM precisely because of it. You want to suffer just like CSM. So have fun with it.

The Ambivalence Of Life: The Massage Metaphor 
1 year ago
My Personal Au Where Instead Of Light Being Kira He’s Actually Hannah Montana
My Personal Au Where Instead Of Light Being Kira He’s Actually Hannah Montana
My Personal Au Where Instead Of Light Being Kira He’s Actually Hannah Montana
My Personal Au Where Instead Of Light Being Kira He’s Actually Hannah Montana
My Personal Au Where Instead Of Light Being Kira He’s Actually Hannah Montana

my personal au where instead of light being kira he’s actually hannah montana

1 year ago
🌈DANGAN CARE BEAR AU I HALF ASSED AND DIDN’T FINISH🌈
🌈DANGAN CARE BEAR AU I HALF ASSED AND DIDN’T FINISH🌈
🌈DANGAN CARE BEAR AU I HALF ASSED AND DIDN’T FINISH🌈

🌈DANGAN CARE BEAR AU I HALF ASSED AND DIDN’T FINISH🌈

1 year ago

Listening to “Goofy Goober” trying to forget that not only am i on my period and have a cold, but those two things are the reason I may run out of attendance points and lose my job. It’s okay to cry in front of your boss right? Next on my spotify queue is “Numb” by Linkin Park

1 year ago
Math Is Unhuman And Unnatural.

Math is unhuman and unnatural.

Source: Tumblr

1 year ago

The Hashira meeting was so funny because they were like

🦋: We're more than likely gonna kill you but I am curious👀

🔥: He broke the rules; we have to kill him😀

💎: We gotta make it look real good too✨

🪨: Oh we must put this poor boy out of his misery with the quickness😭🙏🏽

💕: You guys would really kill this BABY BOY?🥺🥺

🐍: Not only are we killing him but we gotta get Giyuu's ass too😒

🌫️: I should make pasta tonight 🤔

🌪️: Today I think I am going to cause problems on purpose😈

🌊: 🧍‍♂️

1 year ago
This Pic Goes Hard Feel Free To Rb💯💯💯

This pic goes hard feel free to rb💯💯💯

1 year ago
stsumugi11037 - stsumugi
stsumugi11037 - stsumugi
stsumugi11037 - stsumugi
stsumugi11037 - stsumugi

tgck au in which Himiko is a normal high school girl (she is pretty much the same, shes not a villain tho + her big bro is Jin) who despises heroes until one day an accident happens in her school and UA students come to save the day! Since then she became Uravitys biggest fan-

As for Uravity... She just cant forget that girls smile

Both hoping to meet each other again-

And they will!

Just... A few years later

(Part 2 soon)

1 year ago
“there You Are, Nagito-chan!!”
“there You Are, Nagito-chan!!”
“there You Are, Nagito-chan!!”
“there You Are, Nagito-chan!!”
“there You Are, Nagito-chan!!”
“there You Are, Nagito-chan!!”

“there you are, nagito-chan!!”

(komaeda went missing while everyone was playing at the beach and the girls went to fetch him lol)🦀 the beach police successfully escorted komaeda back to the beach🙌

bonus: the library dwellers📕 there are not enough books in the library for all of them!

1 year ago
Komaeda’s Sloppy Nut Treat
Komaeda’s Sloppy Nut Treat
Komaeda’s Sloppy Nut Treat
Komaeda’s Sloppy Nut Treat
Komaeda’s Sloppy Nut Treat
Komaeda’s Sloppy Nut Treat
Komaeda’s Sloppy Nut Treat
Komaeda’s Sloppy Nut Treat
Komaeda’s Sloppy Nut Treat
Komaeda’s Sloppy Nut Treat

Komaeda’s Sloppy Nut Treat

(Inspired by this post)

1 year ago
They Are GIRLFRIENDS My Lord!!!
They Are GIRLFRIENDS My Lord!!!
They Are GIRLFRIENDS My Lord!!!
They Are GIRLFRIENDS My Lord!!!

They are GIRLFRIENDS my lord!!!

1 year ago
The Wip For This Comic Had Been Sitting In My Comp For Two Years And After Redrawing Most It I Finally
The Wip For This Comic Had Been Sitting In My Comp For Two Years And After Redrawing Most It I Finally
The Wip For This Comic Had Been Sitting In My Comp For Two Years And After Redrawing Most It I Finally
The Wip For This Comic Had Been Sitting In My Comp For Two Years And After Redrawing Most It I Finally

The wip for this comic had been sitting in my comp for two years and after redrawing most it I finally got around to finishing it. So Happy Birthday Nagito. It only took two years but here it is.

1 year ago

playing ffxvi for the first time

If I don’t get my ass on a chocobo in FIVE SECONDS im going to make the Nibelheim tragedy look like a fucking joke


Tags
2 years ago

silent hill games should be on girls go games

2 years ago
Silly Besties
Silly Besties
Silly Besties

Silly besties

(Should have put this before but pls don't tag this hinanami ty :])

2 years ago
The Plot Is That The School System Is Awful Right

the plot is that the school system is awful right

2 years ago
Pinkie Pan By Leapinglambs

pinkie pan by leapinglambs

2 years ago

I think one of the main reasons why sdr2 is my fav is that the cast feels much more natural and united compared to the other groups

Like the thh cast has a very scattered feel to them, with people mostly being by themselves or in a very small group (and sometimes, the people in said groups aren't really that close). When I think of the groups in thh, the only ones that spring to mind that seem actually CLOSE is Sakura-Aoi, Mondo-Taka & Makoto-Kyoko

And V3 then has very clearly defined groups that mingle with each other and... not much outside of that. We have stuff like Tenko-Himiko-Angie, Miu-Kiibo and Shuichi-Maki-Kaito. Outside of groups, characters usually don't have very unique or meaningful dynamics or interactions

Sdr2 on the hand have very fleshed out relationships and dynamics with EVERYONE. Like, yeah of course there are still established groups like Sonia-Kazuichi-Gundham, Fuyuhiko-Peko and Akane-Nekomaru but even then those groups mesh and mingle well with the rest of the cast

In thh & V3 I find it hard to imagine unique and interesting interactions between a lot of the characters, but in sdr2 you could give me any combination of characters and I'd be able to imagine them interacting in a fun and interesting way

They're also the only class I could genuinely imagine all getting along and having fun together outside the killing game. But they're not all friends either, which makes the unison and feel of the cast more natural and fun! Hiyoko-Mikan aren't friends. Fuyuhiko-Mahiru aren't friends. But they still have meaningful and interesting dynamics with each other

Not only that, but even if you take each character seperately I genuinely like them all. Like, actively like them. Yes, even Teruteru and Hiyoko. I find each and every one of them compelling in their own way. I like Kazuichis well-meaning stupidity, I like Gundhams love of life, I like Ibukis cheery attitude, I like Mikans care for others, I like Pekos devotion. I enjoy them all

I don't have a good way to end this just. sdr2 cast my beloveds

2 years ago
*Married Life Playing In The Background
*Married Life Playing In The Background
*Married Life Playing In The Background
*Married Life Playing In The Background

*Married life playing in the background

This idea was probably funnier in my head

2 years ago
A Princess And Her Knight..

A princess and her knight..

An Aerith x Tifa royal au I couldn’t get out of my head.. 💖

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