This Joke Also Plays On The Fact That In Soccer Removing Your Shirt Is Explicitly Banned In The FIFA

How parental support can make a world of difference for a trans* youth. Learn more. Retweet. Share on Facebook.

Ooooooooh, @ave-puella added some closeups!  

A present I made for my dear friend @ave-puella.  You may recognize it as a short Temeraire fic she posted a little while back.  It’s done entirely by hand, and was my first time attempting borders and illumination.  I’m still figuring out gold leaf, but it was super fun to work with (there’s also some gold work on the border of the third page).  For those of you unfamiliar with the Temeraire universe, there are dragons, hence the second page border.

It was a heck of a lot of work, but was entirely worth it for her face and incredulous ‘what did you do?!’

[Image text: Say This! Not That! Unreal/insane, unbelievable/crazy, jerk/psycho, awful/stupid, bad/dumb, moody/bipolar, ridiculous/retarded, eccentric/mental case, dismantled/crippled, unruly/mad house]. Image by Upworthy. Read more at autistichoya.com.

Stanley Cup Playoff Drinks

Here are some drinks to celebrate the Most Wonderful Time of the Year! Just like the playoffs themselves, playoff drinks have to strike the tricky balance inherent to a winter sport being played in June, like seriously why did we ever let the California teams get good enough to make it into the later rounds it’s like a million degrees what the hell are we doing trying to play scoot and shoot on ice. These are some of my favourites for watching the Cup while in your cups.

The PIMs Cup

By Ethanbentley at en.wikipedia [FAL], via Wikimedia Commons

A playoff version of the classic British summer drink, prepare a fruit cup per your favourite recipe, but serve in a glass with a salted rim. Discretely brush off the salt before drinking, it’s just there to provoke horrified looks. Celebrate bright fruity spring flavours and your favourite heavily-penalized dillhole at the same time

Toast: To a different little shit who has his own towel in the penalty box each time you take a sip. Toasted players should be unique, unless toasting Brad Marchand, who is unique enough on his own. Like a proverbial river, you can’t step in the same Marchie twice

Garnish: A smug look at your friend having a shrieky meltdown that you would celebrate such a classless goon

The Playoff Beard

By Chris huh [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons

Mix a sex on the beach or a tangerini or similarly coloured drink and then serve in a scotch tumbler with a single pretentiously-large ice cube.

For some people loving sports means sometimes having to pass as Totally One Of The Guys, Nothing To See Here. This drink gives the option to do that while remaining true to an identity as a smouldering queer dumpster fire. Looks like a manly drink for manly men but tastes like an afternoon cackling at a matinee performance of one of the funny tragedies at Shakespeare in the Park

Toast: The patron saint of smouldering queer dumpster fires in the NHL, Tyson Barrie. Alternatively Tyson Barrie’s dignity, which needs all the help it can get, or the boat his cardiologist gets a little closer to buying every time he hits on a teammate on camera and then isn’t sure if they’re going along with it jokingly or are actually into it

The Flannel Shirt

Mostly I go for fruity drinks to celebrate playoff joy, but sometimes you need a soothing wintry drink for playoff heartbreak. The flannel shirt can be an excellent balm for postseason hard times. Feel free to play around with the spice mixture (allspice in the above recipe, but other mulling spices can also be good) for comforting nostalgia suited to you.

Toast: Those halcyon winter days when you happily doze by the cabin woodstove wearing nothing but Hilary Knight’s cozy flannel shirt. You hear the shoothing rythm of firewood being chopped outside and wait for her to come to come back in, face red from the cold, to cram herself into your chair and unwittingly light up your whole spine with her icy hands on your warm neck. The shirt smells like her and no one has even been mathematically eliminated yet, let alone blown 4-1 leads in the final minutes of game seven, been swept (or reverse swept), or knocked out by the same division rival for the second year in a row. You’re safe.

Did you run into the human one or the cartoon one? I feel that both would be very intereting to do coke with, but in very different ways

i just saw the grink lol haha

I’m almost entirely on board for this, but what about Christmas in Prison by John Prine?  Knowing who you live with I don’t think that’s one you can escape (plus it’s an amazing song)

List of Christmas songs that are acceptable in my household:

Fairytale of New York by the Pogues

that’s it.  that’s the only one.

The ice we skate

Is getting pretty thin

It signifies our youth

And pleasures chucked into the bin

Mercedes and James Hutchinson

HOOKED RUG

1920-1940

Fabric

Fenimore Art Museum

I love algorithms. I'm passionately fascinated by them. But it's always good to remember that no matter how clever they are, they have no judgement. This leads to things like this, where Google's top suggested story about the women's 800m Olympic final is a thread from the utterly repugnant Roosh V forums (I don't recommend reading it). This is why supervision and human intervention are so important. It's very helpful for companies like Google when people report this kind of inappropriate content. I reported this a few hours ago, but at the time of posting it's still up. If you want to help out, it's pretty easy. There doesn't seem to be a feedback link inside the little Olympics applet, but if you just search "800m athletics Rio 2016" and then scroll to the bottom of the page, there should be a feedback button.

As @eightfourone pointed out, goalies are not allowed to be captain under NHL rules (part of rule 6.1 says "No playing Coach or playing Manager or goalkeeper shall be permitted to act as Captain or Alternate Captain."). This is because the official role of captain has nothing to do with leadership, it just designates the player that speaks for their team to the officials. You'll see them at centre ice between games getting the refs to clarify why they made a call, or relaying messages to their bench from the refs (Often when a specific kind of penalty that is coming up too much in the game the refs will ask the benches to pay more attention and cut it out). As such, picking the person who has to slowly lumber to centre ice in all that goalie gear slows the game considerably.

The role has taken on all sorts of other baggage related to team leadership and has become a go-to for teams who can't figure out how to actually fix their problems. Just fire the coach and replace the captain and hey! You did things! It can't be the front office's fault anymore.

These charts do a GREAT job of showing the statistical bias towards the captain being the most skilled player instead. Fan bases and media invent all kinds of narratives about how it would be a snub otherwise.

To bring this back to goalies, this all led to a truly surreal situation back in the day where Roberto Lunogo (who else) was the captain without being the captain in any way:

On September 30, 2008, prior to the start of the 2008–09 season, Vancouver Canucks general manager Mike Gillis and head coach Alain Vigneault named Luongo the 12th captain in team history, replacing the departed Markus Näslund.[5] The decision was unconventional, as league rules forbid goaltenders from being captains.[79] As such, Luongo became only the seventh goaltender in NHL history to be named a captain, and the first since Bill Durnan captained the Montreal Canadiens in 1947–48 (after which the league implemented the rule).[5] In order to account for the league rule, Luongo did not perform any of the on-ice duties reserved for captains and did not wear the captain's "C" on his jersey. Instead he incorporated it into the artwork on the front of one of his masks which he occasionally wore for the early months of the 2008–09 season.[80] Canucks defenceman Willie Mitchell was designated to handle communications with on-ice officials, while defenceman Mattias Öhlund was responsible for ceremonial faceoffs and other such formalities associated with captaincy.[5] Centre Ryan Kesler was chosen along with Mitchell and Öhlund as the third alternate captain.[5]

↳ THE CAPTAINS OF THE NHL: BY THE NUMBERS

My Christmas card from @goddamnshinyrock just arrived and I’m so happy omg