T3ht3h - ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

Golden bugs of Panama. Via u/Crassusempire

How to open a bottle using the Scientific Method.

I hate this school

A priest hooks a huge fish

Helping him reel it in, a sailor says “Whoa, look at the size of that fucker!”.

“Hey, mind your language!” says the priest.

Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, “Sorry father, but that’s what this fish is called, it’s a Fucker fish”.

Accepting the explanation, the priest forgives the sailor and takes the fish back to church.

“Look at this huge fucker” says the priest, spotting the bishop.

“Language, please! this is God’s house,” replies the bishop.

“No, no that’s what this fish is called, "says the priest.

"Oh,” says the bishop, scratching his chin “I could clean that fucker and we could have it for dinner”.

So the bishop takes the fish, cleans it, and brings it to the mother superior.

“Could you cook this fucker for dinner tonight?” he asks her.

“My, what language!” she exclaims, clearly shocked.

“No, sister that’s what the fish is called - a fucker”, says the bishop.

Satisfied with the explanation, the mother superior says, “Wonderful, I’ll cook that fucker tonight, The Pope is coming for dinner!”

The fish tastes just great and The Pope asks where they got it.

“Well, I caught the fucker!” says the priest.

“And I cleaned the fucker!” says the bishop.

“And I cooked the fucker!” says the mother superior.

The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely glaze, leans back on his chair, takes off his cap, puts his feet up on the table, pours himself a whiskey and says:“ You know what?, You cunts are alright.”

Y’all I finally got my Meds refilled (fucking Walgreens) and I’m feeling super inspired. I’m gonna bedazzle a machete stay tuned

My tablet’s still busted, but I wanted to do somethin cute for Halloween

Click to see what these silly ghosts are up to~

I walked by the new cat arcade today and I am shaken.

Tried doing colour but I thought fuck it, I’ll do black and white as usual

"I hate the word homophobic, it not a phobia, you're not scared, you're an asshole" - Morgan Freeman

Reblog if you're not homophobic

Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad.