You Suck. You're Not Allowed Here. You Can't Join My Club.

My midnight snack. You'd think I was starving dude.

I'll sell you for a baconator

My version of self care is a wendy's baconator

I want Toriel to be my mom she's so good, and nice, and fluffy, I miss when my mom was nice and fluffy!

Trans problems: having the unfortunate ability to get both titty cancer and ball cancer in your lifetime

It's ctc mascot cause cannibalism is so relatable, he's me fr.

Can you have group chats on tumblr? That would be cool I think.

Protip: Your corpse will be delicious!

Oh these? No these aren't jolly ranchers, these are my own yummy snack, ranch ranchers (jolly ranchers made of real ranch!)

My version of self care is a wendy's baconator

My mom: I had such high hopes for you

Me: you make it sound like I'm already dead

Mom after a laughing fit: no but like you're not going to college

Me: I wont be a cliche forever in student debt

Mom: it's the American way!

Me: I don't like Americans!

Mom through both our laughter: HEY IM AN AMERICAN!

Me also through laughter: IT WAS A JOKE YOU BOOTLICKER!

Mom: it doesn't bring me joy

*much more laughing from both of us*

Our house could be a standup comedy show some days I tell you hwat

Being "Jr." or "the Second" is the real life equivalent of having to put numbers after a username.

“I’m John Smith, and this is my son, John Smith Underscore Sixty-Nine.”