Tries To Be Better Than Percy And Fails.

YouTube: “Judging by your recent watches, we recommend: Why Are So Many SJW Characters Mary Sues?”

Me, who has been watching nothing but monstergirl ASMR roleplays for the past three days: “How do you keep finding me?”

Something i needed rn

Okay. Gardening 101; or “Auntie Sys I have a yard that’s currently a yard and don’t know SHIT or FUCK about how to make it not be a boring-ass yard.”

Step 1; go to your local landfill and get all of the newspaper you can. Cardboard will also work. If your neighborhood puts them out for recycling, go around and grab them all like a little newspaper goblin.

Step 2; acquire mulch. If you WANT, you can go pay for it at a garden store, but we’re all cheap lazy bitches here so screw that. Most landfills will collect yard waste and branches and chip them into woodchips, which you can get for PENNIES or FREE. Go load up on that good shit.

I like straw too, which I can get for barter because I am related to half the people around here and a solid 65% of my extended family are farmers. I give Uncle Daryl three quarts of elderberry jelly or a couple pounds of morels in spring and he loads me up with straw bales.

Step 3; figure what parts of grass you want to be not-grass, and cover that shit in newspaper, good and thick. 5-10 layers. It helps to wet the newspaper to keep it from blowing away as you work.

Now, cover that newspaper with a good thick layer of mulch.

Congrats, you’re removing the grass. It’ll starve to death under the mulch and newspaper and rot into compost. You now have garden beds and have not dug one single bit of sod.

If you can’t wait for six months to plant, pull the mulch aside, cut a hole in the newspaper, and dig out a plug of sod the size of the planting hole. Throw some compost in there and plant. Tuck mulch back around plant. Water well.

There ya go. Garden beds. In a year, when you pull back the mulch the newspaper will be almost rotted away, and the soil underneath soft and loamy.

Family exercise

Sister doing exercise video with my dad:

Dad multiple times: oh fuck you my body doesn't move that way

Sister as instructor says keep that 90 degree angle in your leg: oh shut up i don't have a protractor

Sister: walks away that was not fun

so what r ur thoughts on spider ham

And my healing abilities!

We are the Pride Knights, and this is our battle cry No enemy can shake us, as hard as they can try There’s a fire in our eyes that no hatred can kill A passion in our hearts that’s as strong as our will To our fellow queers who fight their battles on their own We promise to fight with you, you are never alone To our fellow queers who have fallen with the pain We thank you for your courage, your fight is not in vain

We are defenders of the right to be proud of who you are To love who you love and to accept every scar We are your knights, protectors of our pride Together we stand, together we ride

Thank you everyone for the overwhelming support you have shown for this project and for joining the @prideknights. Our goal is to let everyone feel and know they are valid no matter who they are. 

The website has been fully funded! Our next goal is to create armor so we can make empowering and inspirational Youtube videos! For anyone who wants to help: Be your local Pride Knight and support and empower others. You can get these designs on a variety of items in our store. The campaign ends on December 15. 

To donate £5 to the charity supporting the male victims of domestic abuse, text the message: MKDV46 to 70070

Click here to watch the video

back to school mind

i just said “you've got some dead nose on your skin” as if it was a completely normal thing to say, before realizing my mistake and cackling like a witch.

R E B L O G   T H E   P I G E O N .

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE