Maybe It’s Not My Weekend. But It’s Gonna Be My Year. And I’m So Sick Of Watching All The Minutes

My father tells me to be assertive. Yet, whenever I try to establish my boundaries with him, he dismisses them as if my boundaries don’t apply to him because — and I quote, “He is my father.” What good does that do me in the future? He makes it impossible to deal with.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

You can run away with me anytime you want.

Summertime by My Chemical Romance

Well damn.

Another year goes by and it feels like nothing interesting is about to happen. I mean for myself or my mental state. Or in the very least, be surprised and genuinely move with what goes on in the world. Not having to think about the deterioration of agriculture, economics, entertainment or whatever goes on just outside my window. It also feels like the order of things will just get a tad worse. Maybe I'm exaggerating, maybe I'm melodramatic. I'm scared I'll lose the energy to feel nostalgia about the past, or be thrilled about the future; or even have a sweet, natural high for living in the moment. Now I just feel so crappy that I'm barely having the energy to care even a little. Maybe I'm the one who's falling apart while life and the world is just going on. I'm starting to feel even worse for not looking forward to next year or at all. I can only see myself rotting away, curled up in my shell and be nothing. I'm eventually not be able to care and the people around me will hate me for it. Yeah, maybe I deserve it.