I Lurched Forward About 12 Times In Outrage (this Is Hilarious/very Well Done And I WILL Be Torturing

bitches be like “this is the best piece of literature i have ever read” and it’s either a book that took them six weeks to finish or a fanfic they read at 3 AM

Not a big fan of what melatonin has been doing to my dreams lately.

me, pouring three day old mountain dew baja blast down my sink: oh that definitely isn't supposed to go into my body

also me not even five minutes later: shit i should have just put ice in that and finished it

just to add: the same dog tried to run away yesterday as well when we were taking in groceries so obviously shes on a rebellious streak but noooo its my fault for being upset about being right

me: if you let the dogs go in without their leashes, they're gonna run away

my mom: no they won't

a dog: *tries to run away*

my mom: i cant believe this happened

shout out to that person on ao3 that wrote a bkdk fic of bakugou making bread that included possibly the easiest and best focaccia recipe i've ever made, you're so hot please marry me and give me the rest of your recipes

someone convince me to not drop this fucking class that i'm still failing after putting over fourty make-up-work hours into

me, leaning across the bar and twirling my hair: so, you come here often

en dash: you've used me 47 times in this one document– please just let me die

if the government didn't manufacture himbos for the weird kids in middle-high school, there would be chaos in the streets. ths government created himbos to keep the goths in check

despite it being my name and favorite color, i routinely forget how blue is spelled