I’m Going For A Walk Again Just Like The One I Went On In The Winter

They should invent a new kind of Being Alive where it's not painful and it doesn't hurt constantly and actually feels worth it and you're happy for more than a few hours at a time

I'm oddly calm for all the things rushing through my mind.

I guess talking life through with my brother helps.

Not my real brother, of course.

But I consider him family.

I might be stupid and angry and cruel and mean and an absolute idiot, but i care, i really do.

I was barely thinking during any of what I did. I’m not sure if I was even actually happy.

Sometimes I wish you were able to stay that night.

And sometimes I wish I had said something sooner.

At Walmart because my mom found me on my walk and brought me an iced coffee and talked me through all of my problems and reassured me and for once we had a conversation without any arguments.

Oh here’s a quote from her by the way

“You’re very gifted at building worlds and personalities”

She meant that because I’m a writer but she doesn’t know that’s my entire life story

At least I’m being myself now, not that that’s working

I thought I knew who I was, but it was all a mistake.

I know who I am now.

I had an awakening today and I'm finally on the right path.

I'll keep posting. It's the only way we're able to face eachother right now.

I'm sorry.

reblog if ur doomed by the narrative

hey if you're seeing this please send me asks or something i wouldnt mind interaction.

I have a better relationship with my brother than I do with any of my real family.

SHE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND IM NOT INTERESTED