Imagine Having A Devastating Piece Of Gossip (the Waynes Were Secretly Sleeping With Their Butler) And

Y’know that TikTok audio of that guy pointing at different people going “Daddy issues. Daddy issues! Chaos junkie, Mommy issues! MORE daddy issues. Obnoxious ASSHOLE issues. And YOU!… you seem kind of weirdly self-actualized as far as I can tell”?

Yeah, all of those apply to Cassandra Cain depending on which character you ask

Before I knew I was bisexual I was just insanely dramatic and weird around guys I liked. I had a crush on this guy in my ward - he was older than me, he played bagpipes and had a cheerful dog and an old Volkswagen bus that he worked on all the time. He also had nice scruff and unnaturally attractive hands and a good sense of humor, so I was like FULLY smitten.

I talked about him a lot and about how he was just so dang COOL, dang it, because he was so frickin’ cool. And I really liked him. I thought he was funny and smart and interesting and cool and fascinating and a bunch of other weird feelings I barely had the attention span to think about (I think my ADHD may have prevented me from coming out for a while tbh).

One day, I’m like 14-15, his dad is called to be my Sunday School teacher. His dad is this ex-military hardass with a chip on his shoulder for absolutely no reason and unattainable standards for his children. He spent most of Sunday School talking shit about his eldest boy and how he was rebellious and didn’t listen to him and how that was going to make him a bad adult and a bad son forever. How his son was too lazy and unmotivated to be successful because he didn’t listen to his advice on how to read the scriptures. He complained about how our generation was too weak to do things right and that our generation would surely be the one that brought the world’s downfall because of our laziness and sin.

And like, first of all, that guy can already go fuck himself for that. To clarify, that’s already stupid. BUT. He was talking about the man I had uncomfortable dreams about at least once a month. I couldn’t stand it. I’d get so mad I’d go home shaking sometimes because how fucking DARE he insult his hardworking stunning son by calling him lazy? For not reading the Bible the way his dad wants? When he’s already spending his time learning bagpipes? And fixing cars? And being cool? And cute? Who the fuck even cares if he uses the footnotes in the Book of Mormon? Who gives a rotten rat’s ass if he doesn’t use the scripture study manual his dad uses? He’s so cool he doesn’t even need it? So fuck off?

And eventually I got fucking Sick Of It and decided to mutiny. And by mutiny, I mean skip class. I’d just not go. And after a bit, adults started noticing and bugging me about it. At first, this was put off by small talk and excuses, but as my absence from Sunday School became more well-known, my excuses began to be rejected.

“Oh, Lizard, why aren’t you in class?” Uhm idk because my Sunday School teacher is mean to his kid and that makes me so mad wtf do you want from me? 🫠🤔

“Where’s your class, I’ll go with you!” Oh no ty I’d rather peel my own eyes than have my taste in men critiqued tyty 🩷

“Lizard, you should go to class, I’m sure they miss you!” And I miss the innocent days where my stomach didn’t hurt when a cool boy I knew was being belittled but unfortunately for us both those days are LONG gone and all that’s left is a budding psychosexual clusterfuck that will render me almost fully incapable of functioning for the better part of a decade so Bye Bye, sister Smith 🙂‍↕️

It had gotten to the point that ward leadership was involved. I was being approached by members of the Young Men’s presidency and the Bishopric to try and make me to back to class. They were telling me God had told them to find me and instruct me on my rebelliousness. This is where I implemented my secret weapon - women. Mormons are weird as hell about a lot of things, but especially about women. And I was GREAT with women. So to combat the leadership’s attention, I started helping women.

Our ward had a lot of new moms with babies who were, as babies tend to be, fussy. But for Mormon women the church is often their only social outlet, so they try to power through as long as they can even if it means enduring the exhausting ordeal of taking care of a fussy baby at church.

For what it’s worth, I have a lot of sway with babies. I got baby street cred. Me and babies have a rapport. I have always known this. I have always loved this. And in this crucial gay time in my faggot life my baby mind powers came in clutch - Every time I saw a member of the bishopric getting close, or a young men’s leader giving me side-eye, I’d start walking slowly towards class, passing by relief society. I’d wait until a mom’s baby had gotten too fussy and needed to leave the room, and I’d swoop in like a knight. “Oh, don’t you worry sister, I’ll bounce him a bit. You go back and hang out with your friends in class. You deserve a break.”

If it was a diaper change or something they’d tell me no. But if it was just some good old-fashioned baby fusses, I mean, they’d be moved almost to tears. They just got their social time back AND a free babysitter who is renowned as the Baby Whisperer. And because I was holding a baby as a favor for someone else, I of course could not reasonably be bothered to return to class.

So just like that, I was out of everyone’s sights. This went on for about a month before the straw that broke the camel’s back, which was that without my class participation the classes were quiet and awkward. I’d often take the brunt of Sunday school lectures by answering questions impulsively and over explaining myself enough that the clock could run out without anyone needing to do or say much. My absence meant everyone else was getting hit with the full unpleasantness of this guy’s bullshit. And so slowly, one-by-one, I had a group of about 8 kids on baby-holding duty. These new moms were so overjoyed, they and their husbands were both so actively in our corner that now chastising us was untenable. Now we had bargaining power. So the Bishopric approached us, confused beyond confused and uncomfortable beyond uncomfortable, and said,

“What’s it gonna take to get you back to class?”

The POWER I possessed in that moment was addictive. By being kind to the women of the ward and ignoring the Mormon de facto Rule of Law of following rules en-masse so the rule breakers feel left out, there were now so many people breaking ranks that we had effectively enacted a church boy labor strike. And they crumbled so fast it was almost like we had swayed God himself to our cause.

“I want brother assholedad gone. He sucks at teaching.”

I didn’t even have to say it. One of my rebels said it for me. I just nodded sagely and said “Yes, his class is not edifying. It’s better to not go and hold babies.”

And just like that, with a snap of my limp-wristed, Christ-wounding, bottom-brained fingers my faggot will was enacted. God’s revelation that brother shitdad was his chosen Sunday school teacher flipped on a dime. Suddenly brother shitdad was asked to be an usher and the fun dad of another one of my crushes was called in to teach us. I still stayed to hold babies a lot, but the rest of the class returned and all was well again.

Although I didn’t recognize it then, I think that was a formative moment for me in a lot of ways. I learned that being really persistently annoying will get me what I want from authority eventually. I learned that God’s will can be swayed by going in strike. I learned that ignoring men’s made up authority forces them to level with you as a person. I learned that caring for women, especially vulnerable women, can make a whole world happier. I learned that letting women rest can help them feel more love for the things that matter in their life. I learned that social bonds make everyone stronger and happier. And I learned that loving others in a gay way can change the world.

Be gayer. Read Terry Pratchett. I love y’all 💕

Now I REALLY need a StephCass MLB AU 😭

With Cass using mostly her fists to fight and Steph has to actively remind her to use the restorative power at the end. While Steph is wondering if she can just destroy the whole building and if she could get sued for that.

Also Steph using cat puns? YES PLEASE

Why are there not any StephCass Miraculous Ladybug Au's??? Why is this something I've never seen before?? Guys?? Just think about it, it would make so much sense!! Pls?? It came to me in a dream and I need someone to make my vision a reality. I am not okay over this, pls and thank you

You just know Stephanie is every supervillain in Gotham's least favorite Bat to fight. Half because she never shuts the hell up and half because every last one of them went through a phase of assuming she was the least threatening of the Bats until they actually went up against her and took a sledgehammer to the kneecaps. Whenever new blood turns up to Gotham looking to make a name for themselves the veteran rogues give them the same orientation speech. Do not let the wisecracking fool you, the blonde one is fucking crazy.

Welcome!

This is the account running Stephcass week 2024, and I’m Zel! The week will run from the 28th of October to the 3rd of November, using the prompts below. Feel free to do as few or as many prompt as you would like, and post the work on the day of the prompt.

Prompts!

Monday 28th: Rooftop tag/sparring

Tuesday 29th: Alternate universes

Wednesday 30th: Panel redraw/canon compliant

Thursday 31st: On the case/undercover

Friday 1st: Galas/wedding

Saturday 2nd: Civilians/Metas (superpowers)

Sunday 3rd: Childhood/monsters

Rules

1. No AI: this is a blanket ban and you will be blocked :)

2. No irrelevant submissions: the piece has to be Stephcass centric

3. Do your best to submit things on the correct day (this won’t be strict though)

4. Tag @stephcassweek and #stephcass week tag on your post so that this account can reblog it. For fic, post the link here on tumblr with these tags.

5. Don’t bash anyone’s creation (goes w/o saying)

Look through the tags of #arts and #fic to see creations! I will also tag reblogs with the day number so you can look through! Reblog this post to spread word etc! Have fun and good luck!!!

i hate david cain for doing cassandras hair before he sent her into that room. there are already so few tender moments he shares with her, but i think that one, the one we dont ever see, is the one that makes me hate him the most.

I love body horror Captain Marvel cause yeah, if he’s been dismembered why wouldn’t he just have his limbs move on their own like a cartoon while his fellow heroes watch on in horror

Batman: Gotham Knights (2000-2006) #22

I'm really glad that Elvis has made a such a resurgence lately. welcome to tumblr kings :)