Amen

Amen

You are relying on yourself. You want to do it all by yourself. You don’t want to believe, you just want to know. You have a million questions, well, that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but you just want the answers, you don’t want the one who answers, and that is very bad. He is withholding all the answers from you precisely because he is waiting for you to trust in him. Are you willing to trust him even if he never answers those questions? You are reluctant to rely on him, because the way he works is not how you expect of him. So you, stubborn and naive child, try to take things into your own hands. So you rely on yourself, striving to figure out the answers. How foolish. Don’t you know that everything, every little knowledge, whether good or bad, right or wrong, that mankind knows has been known only because God allowed us to know? Unless it is his will, you will never know, and his mysteries will be hidden from you. You are completely at his mercy, and you struggle to get rid of his touch, as if you know better. You don’t. You are fighting so many unnecessary wars, and you think it is noble, because at least you are fighting. No, not every war is noble, not every war is glorifying. You are fighting the wrong war. Your wars are futile, God never meant for you to struggle with yourself. These mountains you are carrying around, you were only meant to climb. And by carrying these meaningless baggages, you are steering away from your true course. It is impossible to please God without faith. Anything done without faith in his name, no matter how good it appears outwardly, adds no value to the Kingdom, and receives no glory from the Kingdom. You are doing “good” things without faith, you are doing them just because you think you should, with self-reliant struggling. That is why you are receiving no reward, no comfort, no joy, no peace. You did not let everything flow from a heart of faith, because your heart is empty, devoid of faith, filled with anxiety, filled with questions you compulsively and obsessively try to answer by human knowledge. You must stop. You must turn to him. You must pray first and foremost to want to want him. Until he becomes your utmost pursuit, all your other pursuits will continue being futile.