HELLO.. I Got Accepted To Be A Writer In Here, Against All Odds 🤯 I’ve Never Done This Big Of A

Carmen: I never learned how to flirt. It wasn’t taught in class. I just let my autism flare up until she kisses me.

o great tumblr gods how do you resurrect a fandom years after it ended asking for a friend

the good stuff came late, sorry (chapter 3)

It's been a few months and besides the adults not knowing how to adult, everything has been fine. Honestly, do they not know how to feed a child? Davenport had to get a milkflower so the baby wouldn't starve to death one time.

Lucretia, he later learned her name, was actually pretty okay with keeping everyone in check, but she’s off traveling for general supplies more often than not.

Magnus, surprisingly, is next in line for being calm. Despite his burly figure, he carves new wooden ducks every week and made most of the furniture in the house, including the crib.

Merle is definitely the worst. Kravitz didn't know if that “I can fuck an onion” spat was real or a goof, but it turns out, that wasn’t even the most questionable if not disturbing thing he’s done. Kravitz feels bad for Davenport on those… special days.

“Can you make him adore literally anything else?” Davenport once said after he came back for a report.

“Come on, this isn't A Midsummer Night’s Dream. There's no special flower that can magically make someone love something else,” He dismissed him with a nonchalant wave of the hand, but after Davenport left, Kravitz thumbed through his spellbook because he sometimes ran into Merle in the woods and would greatly appreciate not to. For many reasons.

And last on the report of his new neighbors was the devil. Okay, admitidadly, he wasn't horrible for a baby, but there were other complications with him nonetheless. For one, he wasn't scared of Kravitz. Two, the infant actually pet Davenport when the bird was distracted. Three, he wasn't scared of Kravitz. Four, he created chaos wherever he roamed. Five, he wasn't scared of Kravitz. And that's just the beginning.

Davenport started playing with the kid against Kravitz’s wishes (“YOU DID WHAT!”), and turns out, now the child has four parents. Admittedly, one is a bird, but nevertheless, a parent.

Around five years after they moved in, the four humans went on a picnic.

The guardians started chatting, “Oh, Magnus, I saw a few dogs last town that let me pet them, and one of them gave me a newspaper.”

“I KNEW IT! DOGS SHOULD VOTE!”

“How the hell did you come to that conclusion?” Merle squints at him.

“Dogs can now read. Dogs. Should. Vote.” He glares at the small man.

Lucretia closes her eyes and furrows her eyebrows, but her small smile gives away her amusement.

The child, however, starts wandering towards the cliff’s edge. He starts picking flowers and putting them in his braid. His foot suddenly slips on the ledge and Kravitz groans, summoning vines to catch him and put him back on the grass.

Davenport gives him a sideways look, one brow raised, before nodding his head the other direction and looking to the side in a “okay then” motion before turning back to the humans.

It only got worse when the kid figured out television. He would watch romantic comedies, then cooking shows, then some overly dramatic series, then another romantic comedy, then a cooking competition, then a sitcom, and then repeat. Kravitz didn't even know there were that many shows. It wasn't long before the child started nodding along or arguing with the judge’s opinion on the cooking shows.

He got up from the couch during the show one day and recreated the dish himself before yelling, “That's how you do it, chucklefucks! Not that shitty-ass ‘oh, I’ll put this in for three minutes then plop in on a plate’ method.” He mocked the contestant with a low and goofy voice. “You gotta realize it's a full creation! It needs seasoning! Fuck!”

Kravitz snorted from the trees maybe a little too loudly.

The kid froze and his head snapped towards his direction. After a few minutes, he turned off the tv and went upstairs, leaving the food on the counter.

Kravitz could hear a muffled scream from the bedroom window and he grimaced because the kid had definitely heard something come from the forest.

———

“I covered for Davenport one day. Just one! And look where it got me!” He kicks a pebble into the brush.

He hears a shout.

“Nope. I’m out. I swear, if that's Merle, I’ll personally carve my eyes out.” He reverses his direction, mumbling, and walks away at the same pace as before.

But before he could get very far, he hears someone's snickers grow into a bellowing laugh. “So you’ve met him too?”

Kravitz freezes, takes a long breath, and turns around with a pained look.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Hi! I’m Magnus!” He was just as loud as Kravitz remembers him.

“... hi?”

“It's really nice having someone else besides the Tres Horny Boys around here,” his smile never wavers.

Kravitz pauses. “I’m sorry, who now?”

He laughs again, “Tres Horny Boys, me, Merle, and Taako.”

Kravitz stares at him. “... taco.”

“Yeah, the kiddo. The one with the blonde hair?”

“Someone named their kid Taco?”

It takes Magnus a second to register that, “Oh! HAH! No, no. It's spelled T-A-A-K-O, not like the food or anything. Sorry about that. It's confusing at first.”

“Okay, sure, why not.” He pinches the bridge of his nose.

“So is this your side of the forest?”

“What?” He looks up.

“Well, you’re a fairy, judging by your horns, and you know Merle and what he… gets up to in these woods, so you must have territory near here, right?” He elaborates.

Kravitz thinks of the impenetrable wall of poison-tipped vines created to separate his domain and keep it safe from the King’s forces that have been persistently attacking and dying from the barrier’s defenses and says, “Yes.”

“Great! Let's discuss what we can and can’t do, because I respect your boundaries and will tell Merle to stop if he's been… exploring your woods.” Kravitz thinks Magnus’s smile literally could not drop. He was probably cursed to always smile. The only reasonable answer.

“Uh, well. I would prefer no unpleasant run-ins with him, but other than that, I think you guys are okay. I’m not very demanding.”

“Great! I just gotta pick a few more berries, then I’ll be out of you hair. The kid really likes to cook, even if he never admits it.”

After a moment of silence where Magnus turns back to the bush to pick some blackberries, Kravitz twists around some branches to get ready to travel by tree and says, “Goodbye, Magnus.” before disappearing into the leaves.

——–

Taako knows he saw something. There's no doubt. It laughed. He’s not going insane.

“What the fuck.”

He’s pretty sure this is the same person who saved him from that cliff. After a while, he disregarded it as a dream, because moving vines— but it felt so real.

He took out a notebook Lucretia got him after a trip. She always gives him one when she returns.

Plan: meet shadow person.

Steps: ???

Great.

Steps: ??? Follow/go into forest. Maybe Bird knows something, since he lives there. Where does Bird live? Does he have a family??? More intelligent birds??? Is shadow person a bird?

No, that doesn't seem likely. Only humans could make that noise.

Steps: ??? Follow/go into forest. Maybe Bird knows something, since he lives there. Where does Bird live? Does he have a family??? More intelligent birds??? Is shadow person a bird? Ask about shadow person. Follow Bird? Would that be okay? Probably not. Do it anyways.

He has a plan.

He internally countered, only like 5%.

He returned with, shut it, me.

———

Lucas was very glad he took precautions. He secretly swapped the kid with another to ease the kingdom when the prince was safe after sixteen years. Of course he put on a show of burning all the spinning wheels, but he wasn't faking when putting in the effort towards destroying his magical neighbors. While his forces hammered against the barrier for twelve years, he looked towards ensuring the growth of his kingdom.

This provided a problem when the Prince felt more like a Princess.

Her mother instantly fitted her with all the correct clothes, pronouns, and procedures.

Her father had more work to do before being comfortable with this change.

He then saw an opportunity to make everyone happy.

———

“Uh, do you know where the castle is?”

Taako was trying to find Bird when this high-and-mighty horse rider just waltzed onto his favorite berry bush. He looks him over, “After you bumbling about, I’m surprised you even found someone.”

He has a pained smile when he says, “I’ve never came around here before. I usually like to have a moment of freedom when visiting new places, but I— uh…” he groans and hides his face in his hands. Peeking out, he continues, “I got lost in my thoughts, then I got physically lost.”

Taako snorts with a smirk, “I’ll make you a deal— you get your four-legged friend off of the best berry bush in this entire forest, and I’ll point you in the right direction.”

“Oh sh— sorry, I didn't know I was on a plant.”

“You’re lucky it wasn't one of Merle’s… adored plants."

The poor kid seems to be deciphering that.

“You don't want to know.”

“Okay….” He pulls on the reins and the horse backs into a clear patch.

“C’mon, a kid like you shouldn't get lost in the forest.”

“But… you're also a kid?”

“Yeah, but I live here.”

“Oh.”

Taako hears the sound of hooves and wooden wheels on the path and he rushes ahead, jumping up and tackling her.

Lucretia greets him with a surprised yelp, then laughter. “Taako! Don't do that!” She sat him down beside her before noticing the other person. “Oh— who’s this?”

“Random dude that stepped on my elderberry bush then asked me to point out the castle.”

“Oh, just follow this path, then take the first two left branches before turning right,” She motions to the road behind her.

“Thank you, it's been hours and my mother is probably worried,” He flashes a relieved smile.

“I wouldn't want to hold you any longer. Besides, I gotta take this rascal back home,” She ran her fingers through Taako’s hair.

“Sorry for stepping on your plant.” He took the reins and galloped down the road.

“Strange kid,” Lucretia mumbles before wrapping an arm around Taako and finishing the tail home.

———

After a long, unexpected trip, Barry was immediately ushered to the Queen and King, where the Queen squished his face and started treating him like her own son, checking if he was okay, complimenting him, and pulling him towards the room he’s staying in.

“Oh, you simply must meet my daughter— she's absolutely lovely. I’m sure you two would get along. It'll get boring in the meeting room with all the adults, so you two can chat. You are only three years apart. I’m sure you’ll get along swimmingly.” She kept on rambling, never giving him a chance to say anything.

Before he knew it, he was sitting on his bed and alone in the guest room.

Reflecting on every insane thing that happened that day, he thought, I’m going to sleep.

———

“Yes, m’am,” “My pleasure,” “No, I don't mind,” “It was a pleasure meeting you,” were only a few things she says day-to-day. It gets horribly boring, so she's packing and leaving. This isn't the life for her. She on her way to order fifteen blankets to tie up and escape out of the window, but before she could, she was called into the meeting room.

Sighing, she opens the large door to find herself with another two rulers. She quickly plasters on a smile and curtsies before sitting to the side of her father, like her mother, and facing the other royalties.

“You must be wondering why we called you here so late, Princess,” the foreign King addresses her.

He chuckles, “No, no. It's quite the opposite. We have come to an agreement that an arranged marriage with our two kingdoms will help both of our empires advance as sisters.”

Haha, back up. Her mind said. “Sorry?”

“Lup, darling, I know this is sudden, but it's a good solution. We can't have a bachelorette first in line, and this will give you enough time to get to know him. It was bound to happen, so this is the most ideal situation. Besides, I saw him earlier, and he's pretty cute.” The two queens lock eyes and giggle together.

I made a Willow skin for the TOH Minecraft AU by @pastatiger !! It’s a very very good au i love it

Update: whops the skin didn’t work, but I fixed it

(The top is for PE, the bottom for PC because the glasses have tinted blue that doesn’t tint in PE)

Y’ALL go check out @segasaturn0

they yeeted me a bootleg i’ve been dying to find and their page is 👌👌

Self promo of my actual favorite fic ever:

(Ao3 was attacked and I was so sad that I didn’t link an account just in case it took longer to get back online)

this is my sales pitch. HEAR ME OUT. You know how Player went to school for like One episode? And how he was a cryptid that entire time? And it ended TOO SOON? I took it upon myself to make Player attend school Earlier for even Longer. He’s always running off to do his secret tech things and his classmates try to find him online but he’s a ghost (taking after Carmen <3).

AND SPEAKING OF CARMEN. I’ve seen so many people try Twitter fics with her but they all fell through after a few chapters. SO AGAIN, It is my self-appointed duty to feed this fandom.

(also just in general, we barely get outsider POVs that aren’t associated with VILE (brainwashed Gray) or ACME (Julia and Chase) despite Carmen Sandiego being such a prominent figure (literally an international super thief))

Anyways yes pls read my fic it’s full of sillies and goofs and despite being YEARS after Carmen Sandiego ended, there’s so many of y’all??? Like wow I did not expect that many people to see this

Carmen uses emoticons (aka :) ;) :O :P :T ,’:| :’) variations) because Player texted her “:)” once and she lost her SHIT

She’s now on a mission to make every combination ever to exist

holy shit—

hear me out: into the owlverse

Some highlights of the collective screaming after the s3 trailer dropped ❤️

(All creators’ names are included in the photos)

with great power (watching across the spiderverse the minute it came out) comes great responsibility (writing a fix it fic)