Andrew Cuts Cake Pieces From The Middle, And It’s Not Even Because He Doesn’t Like The Edges - It’s

i just love the twinyards. many thanks to them for being tiny, terrible terrors that i love with my entire heart. either one of them could stab me or punch me in the face and i would thank them

okay so in ch 3 of tfc andrew says they should throw a talent show to see what else neil can do. basically what i’m getting at is,, imagine if the foxes actually had a talent show ??? oh my god the Chaos that would ensue-

neil: this is it

matt: how can all your stuff fit in one (1) dufflebag??

neil: i only pack what’s necessary

matt:

matt: 🎵 look for the... baRE NECESSITIES, the SIMPLE BARE NECESSITIES🎵

neil:

does he cut a square out of the middle? or does he make it triangular so it looks like a regular slice? or hell, does he just cut a circle out of the middle and steal the core of the cake? (i can totally see him doing that)

re: this post

andrew does all three because he’s an Asshole™ and likes to mix things up, but his favourite is the 3rd bc it causes the most outrage :)

same energy as “i can walk” “proud of you, didn’t ask”

I thought of this interaction whilst shopping today & laughed out loud in the dairy aisle.

@jensen57 @jingerhead @twirlingflurry This is all your fault. Enjoy the novel.

I will start this off by saying, write whatever the hell you want. I don't have to interact with it. But also really think long and hard about why you are writing them that way. Why do you need to change these characters so completely to enjoy them? So yes write whatever you want, but also think a little when you do.

This is all in reference to this post for context. Now I will rant.

I hate to be mean but I think some of you need the actual slap in the face that is there is no justification for this whatsoever. Whatever "oh he's overcoming his trauma, oh he's friends with her because this and that, oh it's because he's allowed to now," bullshit you want to come up with is worthless to anyone who has any grasp on the characters and their personalities.

Neil avoids Allison for pretty much the entire series. He barely even likes her. The only time they interact in canon is when it is actually necessary for them to do so. The one time they're ever alone is when he has to ride with her and they literally do not say a word to each other. He never seeks her out, even for the coverup in TRK. Wymack sends him. On top of all of that, she is also the person who outed him and Andrew to their entire team against their will not even 2 days after a very traumatic event solely to win money. And you can argue that they don't really care because they don't acknowledge it at the time, but I will calmly direct you to the scene at the cabin when it is brought up again at a much less traumatic and stressful time and both him and Andrew react very negatively to it.

Neil also hates shopping, and gossip, and drama. So tell me where exactly their personalities and interests line up. And listen I know that she is a deeper character than that but I am speaking solely to these situations where they also tend to erase her personality too. And I am all for hc's where she cuts his hair or her and Nicky (who canonically enjoys it) shop for him. But please explain to me where exactly "Neil's bestie Allison picked him up for a goss sesh and then they went to the mall." fits into canon. Literally one example. AND very very importantly. Neil isn't gay, he is demisexual. GBFs are already a harmful stereotype, so maybe don't erase an ace characters identity and his canon character in general to fit him into the role of one. Like seriously what the fuck.

Getting into that more, since when has Neil been this hyperfeminine allo "sassy bitch" who blushes when someone looks at him. I will say this, I think a lot of us in the fandom recognize that it has grown a lot in the last year and there are a lot of young fans now who probably should not have read it. But they did, and now they're here. And now Neil goes skirt shopping because they fit his slender waist and long legs oh so well. Oh wait, Neil's 5'3. Oh wait, Neil's a man. Oh wait, since when did he ever express anything but anxiety and discomfort about showing his scars. Sorry, I just forgot that the entirety of canon and Neil's characterization exists for a second there. On that note, the word blush (or any variant) doesn't exist in canon outside of describing 1) exertion (you know from the sport they play that requires strength that might, just maybe, mean Neil is muscular) and 2) Maria Hemmick being a horrible person. And then I read one of these posts and someone looks at Neil and he flushes red. Since when. I feel like I don't need to explain how that is ooc.

In that same vein, what is with the characterization of Andreil as a whole in these. Andreil is just such a special ship. They go against pretty much every relationship norm. They fit so well together because they are so similar. Neil is just about as emotionless as Andrew throughout the books in case anyone forgot. But because they've turned him into this hyperfeminine caricature Andrew now needs to fit into the strong manly uncommunicative toxic boyfriend who will Defend At All Costs and like mf growls now. People don't growl so what the fuck is with that. In reality, Andrew lets Neil handle his own problems. Because Neil can handle his own problems. I don't know why I need to stress that when it is canon and obvious. He doesn't need Andrew to throw someone out the window because they looked at his scars wrong in the crop top he and Allison bought. As you can probably guess he doesn't because that would never actually happen if he were in character, but I'll reiterate it here anyways for the sake of ranting. They also fucking talk to each other. I don't know where y'all got the idea that Andrew never asks questions or like says words to Neil when he is so serious about consent (as he should be) and half the reason anyone bet on them being a thing in AFTG was because Neil is the only one he talks to most of the time.

On to other topics.

I like Matt in canon. He's an interesting character who has overcome a lot. But I cannot stand him in fanon most of the time. He literally acts like the fucking dog from UP half the time and that is the only way I can describe it. Yes, he is friends with Neil. Yes, he is also kind. You know what he also is? He's a recovering addict. He's a flawed person just like every fox. He's a traumatized person just like every fox. He has an actual personality and life outside of being nice to Neil. Maybe consider giving him that next time.

KevAaron just kinda spontaneously appeared out of the depths of hell and I don't know how to shove it back in there. I have met young fans that ship it exclusively (yes, instead of Andreil). I'm fairly certain people just went "ah here is a character we haven't tried to ship Kevin with yet" and ran with it. They never once have direct dialog in the entire series, despite living together, being in the same group, being on the same team, and partying together. Apparently they "have similar trauma" but like guys.. if that is the only link you have for a ship I have very very many questions. Especially if you're going to bash KevThea for the same reason (I don't ship KevThea either pls don't come for me I'm just making a point). If you feel the need to break up KateAaron's happy, healthy canon relationship to shove a character into an mlm ship that has absolutely no bearing in canon and basically requires it to be written ooc please reconsider that ship. 

I will end this by saying, in the nicest way possible:

If you need to change so much about the characters to enjoy them and the series, did you really enjoy the series?

my guy matt is such a speedy driver that andrew didn’t even catch up to him on the way to the mountains like... oh my ajm, driving with matt would be a mix of wholesome, chaotic, and absolutely terrifying

oliver wood crying after they lost the quidditch match and ignoring that harry almost died gives off VERY strong kevin day and neil josten vibes except lets be real, neil would be more upset about losing than almost dying too

neil likes sweet things, just not artificial sweetness. it’s canon that he likes fruit, which is packed with natural sugars!! i think that this also translates to people for him - if someone has a mask up or seems too nice (re: renee, bee, etc), he tends to be wary of them. he really just craves authenticity 

i don’t think neil ever really let himself fully come to terms with and grieve for his mother’s death. he just kept running and couldn’t stop, and he didn’t really have time to think about it with everything that went on during his freshman year. plus like... he was constantly casually looking for blood under his nails?? like this boy needs some serious help oh man