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Confused noises

Someone please make videos of these ideas!

i think we as a society really need more sound-effect-based comedy, like just imagine the potential:

-person falling down the stairs, but theres a slinky sound effect evrytime they hit a step

-person falls into a bush or a tree or something, but instead of a regular leaf-russling sound, it makes like a SHLORP portal-sounding noise

-person gets stabbed or cut open except it makes either a paper-tearing noise or the crinkly noise of someone opening a bag of chips

-person jumps into a pool, makes a glass-shattering sound

-person taking a long smoke of a cigarette, but it makes a wet, slurpy, licky-sounding noise

never would I think I would see it on my dash

Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat

So they can tell what type of scp’s you can deal with.

Why are job interviews psychological warfare

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tumblr will always be a better website than twitter because you can only retweet a tweet once, whereas on this website if i really like a post i can make my followers scroll past it twelve times in a row

the way tumblr tags trend is so funny, sometimes it seems like if ONE post gets popular the entire tag trends.

I’m gonna do an experiment. let’s use the tag

uhhhhhh

#mole interest

I was reading a book (about interjections, oddly enough) yesterday which included the phrase “In these days of political correctness…” talking about no longer making jokes that denigrated people for their culture or for the colour of their skin. And I thought, “That’s not actually anything to do with ‘political correctness’. That’s just treating other people with respect.”

Which made me oddly happy. I started imagining a world in which we replaced the phrase “politically correct” wherever we could with “treating other people with respect”, and it made me smile. 

You should try it. It’s peculiarly enlightening.

I know what you’re thinking now. You’re thinking “Oh my god, that’s treating other people with respect gone mad!”

Happy Valentine’s Day.

The principal difficulty of having a Pokémon pick up your groceries for you isn’t getting it to understand the concept of a grocery list, but getting it to understand the concept of capitalism.

One might assume that Meowth is the exception, given that Meowth is literally the capitalism Pokémon; the trouble here is that, while Meowth does understand capitalism, Meowth also understands shoplifting.