Latest Posts by upstatecbguy - Page 2

7 days. Serious frustration setting in. She seems to have figured out how much power she has over me while I'm locked up. She wants me to agree to be in chastity 24/7 other than when she wants. I'm nervous, but I doubt I can refuse...

5am Friday July 3rd. Lock up... and go...

Can’t Adult Today | Get Yours Here

Femdom Punishment Ideas...

By Mistress Kylie,

This post contains all of the ideas I have been able to come up with or find on the internet for female-dominant, male-submissive scenes…

You’ll probably notice that a lot of the ideas are designed for use over many days and are associated with orgasm control. This theme emerged over time because orgasm control is so effective at heightening male desire. We use this list in a very simple framework when setting up scenes. First she picks one or more of the ideas below (either by hand or randomly) and makes rules and tasks out of them. Then, after a few days of suffering through them and pushing me to peak sensitivity, the frequency of rules and tasks increases (over a weekend, for example) and she adapts punishments from the list (or comes up with them on her own) to achieve a good, intense session.

So anyway, I hope you enjoy them and they inspire ideas of your own! Please note, though, that we haven’t tried all of them. Some of them may not be practical.

1) Hold Pennies Against the Wall

This task is very hard: have him hold pennies against the wall using only his fingertips — one penny per finger. Depending on how you position his arms, this can be easy or extremely difficult. Arms spread wide apart forces him to get his face very close to the wall and will tire his arms quickly. Same with his hands being very high up.

For every penny that drops, punish him. Keep the punishments severe enough that he really fears dropping a penny.

You can also make him hold a penny against the wall using his erect cock. This will force him to keep himself hard.

2) Controlled Orgasms

Rules that control his orgasms are the most effective and psychologically impactful rules you can impose. These rules also become good excuses for torment and punishment. The mix of wanting to orgasm and facing big punishments feels very exciting.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He has to earn orgasms –> After you have had five orgasms, he gets one. –> He chooses to undergo a punishment or humiliation in order to flip a coin. Heads grants him an orgasm. Tails gets him another punishment or humiliation –> He earns points toward his next orgasm by acting the role of the “perfect slave.” These can only be earned by doing things for you without being asked, and acting the part perfectly. 20 points per orgasm.

He must ask permission prior to orgasm.

He is allowed to orgasm, but doing so carries an automatic set of punishments or humiliations.

Every time he orgasms, he owes you a favor.

You pretend to believe that he will take any opportunity to have an orgasm, and go to great lengths to prevent it (chastity belt, lots of restraints, careful supervision).

After every orgasm, he must collect his semen and do something embarrassing with it.

Come up with a “training regimen” to teach him to resist orgasm. He wears a chastity belt until he can resist your best efforts to get him to come while you reach two or three orgasms.

He is forbidden to clean up his own semen if it lands on him.

He gets a very short window every day to bring himself to orgasm while you watch. The chastity belt goes back on at the end whether he succeeds or not.

He gets a set limit of orgasms per week, which he can trade like currency. (His limit could be one. Or one every two weeks. Just because he can trade doesn’t mean he needs a lot of them.)

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Instead of a promised orgasm, he has to edge instead and thank you at the end as if he had an orgasm.

Lengthen the time he has to wear the chastity belt.

Treat pre-cum as orgasms for punishment purposes.

Warn him about a severe punishment if he orgasms, then tie him down and ride him until he does.

During the time when he is permitted to orgasm, position his body so that he can’t prevent himself from coming on himself.–>Make him put his knees on the wall behind him so that his cock points toward his face

If you are on top and he comes, keep going. The sensory overload is really overpowering. Even though it feels great, it’s a good “mean” thing to do to him.

Punishment Ideas

Remember that if your slave just had an orgasm without permission, he’s less in the mood than he was before. So instead of a regular punishment, pick one that is more severe, and execute it after he’s back in the mood (possibly the next day).

Make him write out a coupon for a certain number of days spent in a chastity belt. Spend it whenever you like. If he picks a number that is lower than what you picked, make him choose again and double his next result. (You can choose to have him give you a number of orgasms instead of a number of days.)

If he comes inside of you, sit on his chest while his semen drains out of you. Tie him up until it dries.

Chain a heavy weight to his chastity belt for a while, giving him something he either has to drag by his balls or deal with as he does other tasks for you.

3) Edging

Edging is the practice of bringing someone very close to the point of orgasm and then baking off. It’s usually done repeatedly, which both increases sexual need and results in the closest thing to multiple orgasms for a man. You can force your Slave to edge himself a few times to increase his sexual need. Or, you can do it to him and punish him if he orgasms. This will force him to resist orgasm.

4) Must Volunteer Information

This is similar to the “Must Not Lie” rule, but forces him to give you extra details whenever he’s answering a question. It can be very useful, because he has to actively think about what other secrets he can divulge. Use it to force him to keep you aware of the things he’s thinking about.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He must tell you when he’s horny

He must go into detail about what he wants sexually and why

Whenever he’s asked a question, he has to answer it, and then say “Also…” and add more details.

He must try to help you come up with more effective punishments, more humiliating tasks, and tell you how he might try to get out of obeying you

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Since you can’t read his mind, there’s no way to know if he’s holding something back. Rely on punishments if you find out that he didn’t tell you something.

Punishment Ideas

This is a rule that focuses on helplessness and humiliation. It’s also oral, since he has to tell you things. If you catch him leaving something out, punish him accordingly.

Make him write out several punishments and rank them according to desirability. Pick one or more for him to go through.

Make him tell you the most humiliating punishment he can think of. If he disobeys again, he has to go through with it.

Take away his right to speak for a while. Use a ball gag or tape if necessary.

Tell him to apologize. Don’t accept his apology until he recommends a good physical punishment or humiliation for you to employ.

5) Must Keep Legs Spread

Here is a very simple rule that is designed to keep things awkward for him and emphasize that his cock and balls belong to you. Usually the rule is that his legs can’t touch his cock or balls while you are in the room. Tell him that you want to see his balls hanging down.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He must keep his legs spread whenever you are within reach of his genitals

He must spread his legs on command

When a Slave’s Been Bad

He must keep his legs spread at all times, just in case.

Tie his legs up by the knees and spread them out. Then tease him by doing things to him that would make him want to close his legs

Punishment Ideas

Breaking this rule is all about not giving you access to his cock and balls, or about him not putting them on display for you. Punish him accordingly.

Tie his ankles to his wrists. Then tie his elbows to his knees. Last, pull his cock and balls behind his legs and tie his legs together so that they are trapped down by his butt. Now he gets to keep his legs closed, but you have full access to the genitals. Torture them for a while until he becomes more compliant.

Since he won’t put his genitals on display on his own, take away all his clothes and tie him up in a full-body rope harness. That way he can stay on display for you until you get tired of him.

6) Must Obey

Make it unconditional that he has to obey you, or anyone you specify, and punish him if he doesn’t do it promptly or well. This is one of those rules that you’ll talk about a lot, bringing it up to him to remind him that he doesn’t have a choice (or that you’ll punish him severely) if he doesn’t obey.

Ideas for Normal Situations

Have him acknowledge every command with “yes ma’am,” “yes, mistress,” or similar.

Give him a time limit to obey. For example, he might get punished for not jumping to do what you say within three seconds.

If he’s being forced to obey someone else, have him ask that person to give you an evaluation of how well he did.

Test him by giving him a list of things to do while you are away. Demand proof that he did them.

Come up with a word you can use to tell him that you are giving him an order while he’s in public so that others aren’t aware that you’re giving him a command to obey.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Dramatically increase the number of things he has to do so that he’s kept very busy

Use toys, locks, and complicated tasks to make obeying very hard, such as –> Blindfolding him, then telling him to get a specific item that can only be identified by sight –> Chaining up his hands and then giving him something to type (with his tongue?) –> Give him an enema, and tell him he can’t release it until a task is done.

Give him tedious tasks, like writing out a sentence fifty times.

Punishment Ideas

Failure to obey you should carry the harshest punishments. The point of this game is to use punishments to force him to obey you. Therefore, the punishments have to be intense enough that doing humiliating and painful tasks is less miserable than going through with the punishments. Generally, you want to pick very painful or very humiliating punishments for this kind of error. Try to get him to call out in pain several times. He’s got a safe-word if you go too far.

Chain him up so he is completely immobile, then leave him like that for a while, maybe periodically torturing him.

Take away a sense or a privilege for a long time, such as use of his hands for 24 hours.

Add a couple extra rules to his list of rules

Make him pick a few punishments he would rather not be forced to undergo and then draw one randomly

Add a few days of slavery to his sentence

7) Must Become Hard

With this rule, the slave must force himself to become hard. This usually carries a time-limit, or is just a way for you to keep his hands on his cock, constantly fumbling with it. This has more to do with him having to make himself hard with you watching than it does with him getting hard. He is putting himself on display. Keep that in mind and see if you can think of ways to change things up.

Consider making him exaggerate the process so that it’s extra disruptive. Some ideas are to have him stretch out his cock, or use both hands, or kneel until it’s done.

This rule can be fun if he can’t use his hands to make himself hard. He’ll be left humping you or the furniture to comply.

Ideas for Normal Situations

When Mistress enters the room, slave has a certain amount of time to make himself hard.

On a schedule, such as once every three hours, slave has to make himself hard and present his cock for your inspection. If it’s not hard enough, or if it offends you in any way, he can be punished.

When seeing something arbitrary, such as a high heel, he has to become hard –> You might say, “You like skirts so much? Well, you’re going to show it!” And have him make himself hard every time he sees one on TV.

Upon hearing an arbitrary word, such as “songbird,” he has to make himself hard.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Instead of just making himself hard once, he has to become hard, become soft, and become hard again –> Add a time-limit to complete this task to make it harder.

Make it more uncomfortable for him by keeping him from freeing his cock from his clothes or adjusting it while it’s getting hard.

Forbid him to use his hands to make himself hard or simply tie his hands out of reach of his cock. This will make it much tougher, but still possible.

Make him stay hard for five minutes before he can let go of his cock or stop stimulating it.

Punishment Ideas

If he fails to become hard for you in time (or if he forgets), change the rule so that he isn’t allowed to become hard for a day. See if you can catch him breaking that rule and slap a chastity belt on him.

The next time he has to be hard on command, put him in a lot of pain by slapping at his balls with a ruler or squeezing them (or similar) while he is trying to get hard.

Make him get hard without physical contact on his cock of any kind. (This might be very difficult.) Tie him up to be sure that he can’t move, of course.

8) Must Use Specific Names

This is a rule in every slave contract: that he must refer to you by a name of your choice. You can extend this to involve other women or other people. Common examples are:

Ma’am

Mistress

My Lady

Goddess

Madam

Ideas for Normal Situations

He isn’t allowed to use your name.

He has to answer “yes, <special name>” whenever you give a command

Must call other men and women “sir” or “ma’am,” even if he knows their names.

Must be sure to state your special name before asking any question

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Once again, this rule is so common that it’s almost always in a contract. I can’t think of tougher ways to implement it.

Punishment Ideas

This rule is a vocal one, so punishments can involve the mouth or speech. But don’t let that stop you from popping him in the testicles for forgetting to say your name before a question. Just be sure to catch him every time.

Make him wear a ball gag for thirty minutes every time he forgets

Tape his mouth shut when he forgets

Make him eat or drink something (like alcohol?) every time he messes up.

Place a clothes pin on his tongue for a while

Make him hold something with his mouth

9) Must Kiss

Slave must kiss some part of Mistress under some conditions. Type of kiss, duration, and number of kisses are up to you. You could, for example, make him practice kissing until he gets it exactly right.

Body Parts to Kiss

Vagina

Ass

Feet

Hand

Mouth

Ideas for Normal Situations

You can assign different body parts to kiss under different situations. If he forgets or gets one wrong, he gets punished. For example –> He must kiss a chosen body part when you enter the room –> He must kiss your clitoris after you orgasm –> When Waking –> Before Bed –> While showering, he must constantly kiss your vagina –> When seeing something arbitrary, such as a high heel –> Upon hearing an arbitrary word, such as “songbird.”

When a Slave’s Been Bad

He must practice kissing the chosen body part. The more disobedient he has been, the longer he has to practice.

Instead of a simple kiss, you can make a complicated series of kisses that he has to get right every time.

You can put a blindfold on him before he kisses. If he misses the spot, he gets punished.

Punishment Ideas

Kissing is an oral act, so you might want punishments to involve the mouth. Here are some ideas.

Leave him in a ball gag for a period of time for every mistake he makes with this rule.

Force him to wear bright red lipstick and gloss (make his lips kissable) to remind him what his duty is.

Take away the use of his hands (using ropes or chains) and let him use his mouth as hands for a while. When he has had enough, give him a test to see if he has learned his lesson.

10) Must Wear Collar and/or Cuffs

You require your slave to wear a collar, wrist cuffs, or ankle cuffs, or any combination both as a symbol that you own him and so that you can quickly restrain him at any time.

Since the collar and cuffs can’t be ignored, it will force him to remember the situation he’s in. You might want to avoid making him wear a collar while he sleeps, but that is the only one you need to be careful about. Cuffs while sleeping are just fine.

Ideas for Normal Situations

When he gets up or gets home from work, he must lock a collar and cuffs on himself. Only you can unlock them.

He has to lock chains that hang freely from his collar and/or cuffs.

He has to sleep with wrist and/or leg cuffs on.

He has to lock himself to the bed when he goes to sleep.

He has to lock something embarrassing to his collar.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Not only does he have to lock cuffs on himself when he gets home, he has to lock his wrists together and his ankles together. You unlock him when you get home or by telling him where the key is by phone.

He must lock something very heavy to his ankle cuff. Like a locked bag of bricks, or a suitcase full of heavy items.

Make him lock himself to the toilet or to some other immovable object by running a chain behind it.

Punishment Ideas

Usually, the punishment comes from him unlocking the cuffs ahead of schedule. Sometimes this is necessary for safety or for other reasons (like a friend comes by), but you can still punish him for it. Simple restraint is perfect for that.

Run a rope or chain over a beam in the roof and raise his wrists as high as possible, maybe even making him stand on his toes. Tie it off so that he has to stand like that. Torture as desired. He won’t be able to stop you.

Before he goes to bed, make him wear short chains that either link his wrists, his ankles, or link a wrist to an ankle. You can also lock his wrists to a bondage belt.

Tie him in the frogtie and the chicken-wing tie at the same time. Torture him, make him walk on his knees and elbows, or just leave him stuck on the ground for a while.

Tie him spread-eagled on the bed. Use your imagination after that.

11) Flexibility, Strength, and Weight

I’ve combined three rules into one here. You can force him to reach (or maintain) a specific weight, achieve a certain degree of flexibility, or force him to gain strength. All of these require a test after a long period of time to see if he meets the goal. Failure needs to have a significant-enough punishment that it will push him to exercise and stretch for so many days to try to reach the goal.

It also gives you a convenient way to punish him in a way that will hurt for a long time. You can force him to do 100 situps, for example, and his ab muscles will ache for days. However, this can interfere with other games where you are pushing his body to its limits.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He has to lose a certain number of pounds by a certain date.

He has to become flexible enough to perform yoga moves of your choosing

He must become strong enough to hold something heavy for a period of time

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Force him to exercise in a tedious and very challenging way, such as crawling to every room in the house fifty times.

Force him to exercise until he is too exhausted to stop you from overpowering him

Punishment Ideas

These rules require him to exercise so often and for so long that you need to have punishments that will motivate him to work through the pain and boringness of exercise over a period of weeks. Pick punishments that make him pale, or that are worse than the exercise itself.

Add a period of slavery for every pound he fails to lose by the deadline, maybe a week per pound.

Put together a list of extreme hard labor that he must do if he fails to make his goal. Make him do the work naked, in chains, or while wearing uncomfortable toys like a large butt-plug.

12) May Not Flinch

Slave is punished for flinching. Pulling away counts as resistance, just like saying “no.” You have free reign over the slave’s body. You can even make him act like he is happy when you touch him. But he can never show you the disrespect of moving away when you want to touch him.

Ideas for Normal Situations

Once he realizes what you’re reaching for, he must try hard to put that body part in your easy reach, either by moving closer, removing clothes, or assuming an agreed-upon position (like putting his hands behind his head).

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Add a line in your notes or itinerary to try to get him to flinch a certain number of times each day. Once he passes the test, this rule can be dropped. But be convincing!

Tie his hands behind his back, and tie those ropes around his balls. Then try to get him to flinch. If he moves, he will yank on his balls. Train him to hold very still by trying to get him to flinch.

Add extra physical punishments or humiliation if you catch him flinching. (Two punishments instead of one, etc.)

Punishment Ideas

Tie his hands and legs very securely so that he can’t flinch. Then give him several reasons to flinch while he’s unable to. That way, he can tell the difference between when it is appropriate to flinch and when it isn’t.

Tie or wrap his hands (which are primarily used to protect body parts) in very awkward orientations so that they are not only useless, but uncomfortable or awkward. For example, tape his thumbs together and secure them to the back of his collar with a short rope.

13) May not Say a certain word

This is both a teasing rule and a very serious one. Consider these two situations:

He is not allowed to say “no” to anyone.

He is not allowed to say the word “is.”

In the first example, you make it clear that he’s expected to do whatever anyone asks. This is a straight-forward and common rule.

In the second example, you pick a common word and wait for him to forget the rule, giving you frequent opportunities to punish him.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He may not use the word “no.”

He may not use personal pronouns (me, my, our) and instead has to substitute “the slave” for them.

He may not speak unless addressed by someone (asked a question, etc.)

You force him to use an embarrassing word for his cock.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

He has a limit of words (or sentences) that he can say, after which he must be absolutely silent. (If you have a hard time keeping track, just count the number of times he starts talking.

He may only speak while wearing a gag or with something held in his mouth.

Punishment Ideas

This is simple: if he speaks out of turn, focus on oral punishments. Bad tastes, gags, extremely hot foods, and so on.

Gag him for a while, possibly sacrificing a meal.

Make him hold something in his mouth. (Your freshly-worn panties, a jalapeno, or a piece of soap.

Make him conduct a complicated task with his mouth (such as sorting the sex toys, sorting your panties by color, and so on.

Thanks to Mistress Kylie, Her slave & femaledomination

The Greek word for return is nostos. Algos means suffering. So nostalgia is the suffering caused by an unappeased yearning to return.

Milan Kundera (via quotemadness)

Day 15

Day 15. Bartending locked up is strange. Oh well, here's to new experiences.

Morning Princess…

---> Jealous

So about a week ago my wife/mistress @learningdomme decided to create a new online dating profile for us as a couple looking for a girl to join us and more importantly join her while I’m made to watch. She has also put on the profile that I’m in chastity and has also posted a picture of my locked cock in one of the smallest cages that I own…. Once I saw this I questioned her (dumb move) and was told that I WILL be locked on at least one encounter when/if it happens… I guess I’m just along for the ride (or to have my face ridden) now…

I often see some things that people said on the Internet that are so stupid I can’t bring myself to correct them because I know that will only cause them to reply, and I couldn’t possibly deal with another stupid thing they say

Feelings in words

Perfect in every way

Something new from amazon. It's a little smaller than I'm used to, so I'm going to keep the key for a day or two, but if all go's well I won't have to have a padlock dangling around all the time.

Some people think that to be strong is to never feel pain. In reality the strongest people are the ones who feel it, understand it, accept and learn from it.

powerofpositivity.com (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

I think about you. But I don’t say it anymore.

Marguerite Duras, Hiroshima mon amour (via thegoodvybe)

Thinking about locking up again, but I don't have a key holder right now. Suggestions?

New Dom(me) tip: the unsafe word

Since I’ve been on here, it’s been an exceptional pleasure to see so many new people getting more involved in BDSM. One of the first things they learn is that you never play unless it’s safe, sane, and consensual and that your safe word is your safety net for consent.

I cannot stress how crucial this lesson is for all people new to BDSM; understand it and learn it well.

But one thing they’re often told is that a safe word isn’t always safe.

One of the many examples of this occurred just last month. R and I had decided to do a heavy pain scene. Although not always a “natural sub”, R can be an extraordinary masochist.

That night we started with quite a firm spanking before tying R up and moving to the flogger. Within a few minutes she was moaning and rocking her hips up to meet each hit, literally dripping as the impact radiated through her body.

We progressed from the flogger through to the paddle, crop, and finally the cane, R’s moans coming with less frequency as she started to breathe deeply and slowly. This was no cause for alarm, she goes to her happy space when she’s in that type of pain and just allows it to wash through her. It’s a meditative trance which always leaves her completely exhausted but utterly blissed out.

However, I became aware that something wasn’t quite right. She wasn’t just quiet, she’d gone still. I put the cane down and checked in with her, as I always do in some form before increasing the intensity in any scene. My instinct was correct, she was awake but she wasn’t present, in fact when quizzed, she wasn’t even sure what impact toy I’d been using 10 seconds earlier.

I untied her, carried her to the shower and held her in my arms as she slowly came back to earth.

The purpose of this story is to demonstrate just how truly dangerous it is to rely solely on a safe word to determine when you stop a scene. At that point, R had no grip on reality or even the sensations she was experiencing. Had I been waiting for her to safe word, I would easily have done significant damage and she would most likely have gone into quite serious shock during the scene.

In many instances, despite the fact that they are fully aware of the risks of the scene, a sub or bottom won’t have the ability to safe word.

Not only does this occur when they go into a “sub space” but also if they decide to play while under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or any other time when their mental faculties are impacted. While that is generally not recommended (especially with inexperienced people), it’s a simple fact that a lot of subs/bottoms love that sort of play and have established a solid enough rapport with their top to decide to do that.

As a Dom(me)/top, you have an extraordinary responsibility to ensure that you have control of the scene. It’s a duty to not only immediately stop the scene upon the use of a safe word but to also know when to call it on behalf of your partner.

Ceding all power to only stop a scene today the use of the safe word is not only lazy, it’s potentially deadly.

I’m not the first to write about Safe, Sane, and Consensual vs Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) so make sure you educate yourself. RACK play can be unbelievably intense and a huge turn on, but it really should be conducted between two (or more) very experienced players who have played before. This is a conversation you absolutely must have with any new partner and you should know him/her well in a sexual sense before trying it out.

Yes, there’s a risk, especially in the early days, that you’ll stop a scene earlier than your partner would actually have liked. But a scene can be recommenced, and the atmosphere rebuilt pretty quickly. But your partner will be safe in the knowledge that they can trust you with their body.

Have fun, play hard and play safe.

Yours,

The Gentleman