Hey So. Whenever I Read Fics On Ao3. 80% Of The Time I See Your User In The Kudos. Even In Other Fandoms

hey, is the same anon who asked about the playful punishments series! that’s not selfish at all, don’t worry! i also write, so i completely understand lol i don’t love writing characters who aren’t my favorites either. completely valid!!

thank you so much for the headcanons!! 💜

Thank you, love you, you're literally so sweet😭🥺

Me, looking at you in my inbox:

a few things with this

Not quite to the prompt, but imagine Horace is trying to alley-oop Halt over a wall or something and just....severely overestimates how much strength he needs to move this 5'3" wiry man and fucking LAUNCHES him into the air. Literally the most undignified scream anyone's ever heard from Halt as he suddenly know what it's like to be a bird. He's so lucky he managed to catch himself on the top of the wall bc he would have faceplanted directly into the ground on the other side. He still hasn't forgiven Horace and has banned him from ever speaking of it again

While he may not be the most delicate with injuries, if he's around, Halt is the first person Horace will go to if he's hurt, especially for stitches. Despite Halt's unintentionally rough treatment of bruises, he's actually surprisingly gentle when giving people stitches

When they were travelling together after Halt's banishment, Horace had to make sure Halt would eat. Halt was practically drowning in guilt and self-loathing at the time, though he tried to hide it bc he didn't want to make himself a burden on Horace. Unfortunately it manifested as Halt having little to no appetite for a good while after they first left Araluen, and once he noticed it Horace would subtly make him eat by refusing to start his meal until Halt had had the first bite

Halt also helped Horace practice with his sword when they first started travelling (before the Gallican knights anyways). At the time, Horace just figured Halt knew his way around a sword bc he'd had Gilan as an apprentice, but once he and Will learned a bit about Halt's past he connected the dots

Halt will poke fun at how much Horace eats, but also makes a genuine effort to ensure that he doesn't go hungry. He'll joke about Horace asking for seconds, but also subtly make his plate if you know what I mean

He also taught Horace the benefits of being a sarcastic little shit, only to immediately regret it when Horace inevitably betrayed him with it

One time Halt sprained his ankle really badly and absolutely refused to acknowledge it (bc he's Halt "Everyone Can Have Problems Except For Me Because It Would Make Me a Burden" O'Carrick) and Will just sent Horace a Look and Horace Immediately nodded and scooped Halt up bridal style to take him to the nearest infirmary while casually ignoring the violent death threats he's receiving

After book 8 when Will went ahead of them, Horace was trying his best to subtly make sure that Halt was okay. I mean, realizing that you're the last surviving member of your family besides a nephew you've met once would hurt, even if your family sucked like Halt's did. Horace wasn't very subtle and Halt noticed pretty much immediately, but he secretly appreciated the sentiment

There's more but I just can't think of them rn. I love them so much and I genuinely don't think their relationship earns enough attention

I need to see shit of Halt and Horace taking care of each other.

Or really just any content with those two. I love their relationship and their dynamic so much my two boys.

Continuing from that ask about Lucifer and Alastor's mom, do you think Lucifer even registers that he's gotten himself on everybody's shit list? Or is he oblivious to everyone except his daughter?

Honestly, when combined with his depression, his general disregard of sinners, and whatever else is going on in that head of his, I highly doubt it. He'd notice Charlie and maybe Vaggie - if only because he wants to get closer to her to get closer to Charlie, but his general opinion of sinners is so low that he just assumes the way they're glaring at him is just how they naturally are. I mean, in ep 5 he was giving Charlie an 'I told you so' speech where he said verbatim, "[...] Sinners are violent psychopaths who are hell bent on causing as much pain an destruction as they can." He literally sees them as nothing more than monsters who can't feel or do anything that isn't negative, despite the fact that everyone in the hotel he'd been introduced to besides Alastor had been relatively kind to him up to that point. They literally made cookies for his arrival and he didn't do anything but cringe in mild disgust

So I think that it's pretty safe to say that no, he didn't notice their anger at him

(Again, here's the original post and here's the follow up that prompted this ask, and here's the OP for the first post @that-hazbin )

hi! I'm trying to get other peoples opinion on this-

what do you think alastors human life was like?

sorry it took me so long to answer this one, I've been busy lol

are we talking about what I think for canon, or the headcanon backstory that exists purely for angst? Because those are two veeery different answers lol. I'll just answer the canon opinion, and maybe do another part about my headcanon if anyone's interested

As far as I know, it's been confirmed that Alastor's mother was colored, and at least hinted that she was Vodun (not sure on spelling there) I think that his father is also confirmed to be white, and I know we're all pretty sure by now that he was abusive. We know Alastor likely became a radio host, and was a serial killer (obviously lol) who hung around Mimzy frequently enough. For simplicity's sake, I'll say that Alastor was born in the year 1900, making him 33 when he died

Now, for the speculation. I feel like his parents only married when his mother got pregnant, which resulted in her being outcasted from the Vodun community. I believe she still would have taught her beliefs to Alastor, which probably angered his father, who was most likely Catholic based on the most popular religions in the area at the time. I don't know if it would be ore likely that Alastor's father killed his mother and Alastor killed him because of it, or if Alastor killed his father because of the abuse and lived with his mother until she died of illness. Either way, his father ends up out of the picture. For this, I'll say that his mother lived.

Something I don't usually see people take into account is that the US got officially involved in WW1 in 1917, and started drafting 18yo boys in 1918 - ironically enough when Alastor was 18. The law that prevents "the only surviving son" from being drafted wasn't even thought of until 1964, so Alastor wouldn't have been spared from the draft. I believe draft contracts were about 2 years long, so unless he was injured, Alastor would have spent about that much time in combat. He likely had PTSD from that, but they didn't know what that was at the time, so it would have gone untreated.

He gets home when he's 20ish, and eventually becomes a radio host, befriending Mimzy in the process, but he struggles when he comes home. Nothing seems to alleviate the awful feeling building in him since he came back, and then his mother dies. He snaps. Based on that pre-canon comic, Alastor typically targets predators/abusers ("I do hate those who can't show a little more respect towards those of fairer means"), which makes it pretty ironic (or purposeful) that his name literally means "Avenger".

He hears a woman screaming late at night on his way home, and sees a man cornering her in an alley. Maybe the screams remind him of his mother, or the things he saw overseas, or maybe he's just angry, but he picks something up and bludgeons the man to death. Later, he can't stop thinking about how good it felt to end such a miserable creature, so he does it again. And again. Until eventually, he's killed dozens of men just like his father, and he's reporting his own murders on a news broadcast for the police.

I like to think he didn't practice cannibalism until he got to hell. But if he did practice while alive, it probably would have been during the Great Depression. Times have gotten hard, and while he still has his job, money is tight, and it would be so much easier if he just took a cut or two from the man he just murdered.

However, he still has to dispose of the less edible bits (clothes, hair, bones, etc), and he does so in the bayou behind his house. One day though, there was a hunter who for some reason thought he was a deer. Barking Alerts Alastor of his presence, and he takes off, dogs close behind and baying loudly. Then a gunshot cracks through the air, and Alastor feels a split second pain in his head before collapsing to the ground. The bullet somehow didn't kill him, but it did paralyze him, so there's nothing Alastor can do to fight when the dogs eventually begin tearing into him. In the end, it was the blood loss that killed him as he was mauled, and it seemed like an eternity before he finally succumbed to that. (this is what breeds Alastor's severe dislike (read: fear) of dogs

this is pretty rough, but I figured I'd probably better just get it all out at once lol. Let me know what you think!!

Oh my GOD-

Scuttles, Alastor's antler crab lmao

Alastor does something to piss Scuttles off and he either just pulls Al's hair/pokes his scalp with his sharp little legs, or straight up abandons ship (as seen above - this happens about twice a week, it's just usually in Alastor's room)

(had to repost because i'm an idiot)

soooooouh, this happened the other day 😂

everything started from a conversation between me and @supdudes95 having hard times getting decent references of Alastor from the serie, then she had a fever vivid dream and THIS was born

I listened to Crab Rave on loop while doing this, i cant-

Reblogging this bc they've been practically invading my ask box and to show any followers who are uncertain that there's nothing wrong with reporting the blogs/delete the asks. Don't let someone scam you bc they stole a sob story from someone living through real crises

I would really like this trend of donation scammers sending anons to stop. I block them yet they still send anons. It's very annoying.

Heads up, there's going to be quite a few on here, because I have a lot to say on the matter. Mind the tags, there is some potentially triggering stuff here

Halt's back is covered with scars from beatings his father gave him as a child. He also has a nick on his left ear from where a bandit threw a knife that narrowly missed his head. The place where the poisoned arrow hit him in book 9 left a permanent discolored scar that always reminds Will how close he was to losing his teacher. There is a split in his right eyebrow and an accompanying scar that goes all the way up to his hairline from a close call with a bandit that actually knew how to use his sword. Halt has multiple scars on his scalp hidden by his hair from the number of times he's been hit on the head (there are other side effects as well, but I'll make a separate post on that later). The wounds from the Kalkara are still on his leg, and will cause chronic pain when the weather changes, or after a particularly long day riding. There are self-inflicted injuries on his inner thighs, the oldest being from his childhood, and the newest being from after Will was taken. He's not proud of them, but he is proud that he hasn't relapsed since - though he has come close plenty of times.

Will has a couple lash marks from his time as a slave, and the nerves in his fingers and toes are damaged from the exposure he suffered through in the yard. He has exactly one scar on his wrist from an attempt on his own life, but thankfully Halt recognized the signs from his own experiences and put a stop to it before he got worse. The incident was actually what lead to Will learning of Halt's own struggles, though Halt didn't tell him that the issue was right behind him rather than a long time ago.

Alyss has a scar along her palm from a deep cut from when she was first learning to use her dagger. She wasn't being irresponsible or anything, but she had dropped it and reacted on pure instinct by catching it. Unfortunately, while she did catch it, her hand had wrapped around the blade. She's still a bit embarrassed by it, and she learned the number one rule of a falling blade the hard way: let it fall and get clear, DO NOT try to catch it.

Jenny has countless burn scars on her hands and arms from accidents in the kitchen - both as a student to Chubb, and in her own restaurant. There are so many that the nerves in her hands have been damaged to the point where she is completely unable to feel texture.

George is completely content with the only major scar he has being from the arrow he was hit by in Nihon-Ja.

There's more swimming around in my brain, but I'm tired and this post is long enough as is.

This is your invitation to talk about what scars you think the RA characters have and how they got them

Crowley, in a hospital: Halt, what's my blood type?

Halt: A Positive

Crowley: Well, I guessed wrong - call a doctor

I saw those tickle hcs for Alastor and…Could you do Lucifer ones too? I love how ler you make him in your works, he’s precioussssss

Luci is one of my absolute favorite lers for Alastor because he's one of the only people who can genuinely overpower that deer twink, so yes, I will do some headcanons for you <3

This man is an absolute MENACE to society as a ler

He's primarily ler, though he's not apposed to being gotten back - he just absolutely refuses to let someone get him back. They have to earn it (cough cough looking at you Alastor cough cough)

His teases are absolutely evil because his favorite way to tease is whatever method makes his victims blush and stutter the most

His favorite spot to tickle also just so happens to be whatever his victim's most sensitive spot is, because he's mean like that

His favorite targets are Charlie and Alastor - Charlie because he loves making her smile, and Alastor because he loves bringing him down a peg and making the big bad Radio Demon a flustered hysterical mess

Whoever his target is changes how evil he is. If he's tickling Charlie, he'll keep the teasing toned down to mildly embarrassing and avoid completely wrecking her because he doesn't want to be too mean. Alastor on the other hand....let's just say if he isn't crying with laughter and begging for mercy by the end of it, it probably wasn't Lucifer

He's also started to tickle Vaggie more, though he's still hesitant because he doesn't want to cross her boundaries

Wings wings wings

Angelic feathers tickle WAY MORE than regular feathers, and Lucifer has 3 pairs of wings to attack people with. He's left Alastor squealing on multiple occasions by just using his wings

He likes playing games with whoever he's tickling, and saying stupid little nursery rhymes (ex: 3 little piggies, anticipation games, etc.)

This man gives the absolute WORST raspberries. He had a lot of practice when Charlie was little (which was a lot longer than most humans are little for lol) and he made up all sorts of excuses about needing to practice to get his skills back once he got to the hotel. Necks, sides, bellies, and backs are all primary spots for raspberries

Likes to let his victims flail a bit - it makes it funnier for him when they try to escape despite knowing they won't be able to

Charlie inherited her violent escape attempts from him - they both buck and thrash like there's no tomorrow whenever they're tickled

That's another reason why Alastor is such a fascinating target for him. Alastor's instinct it to curl up and take it. He'll squirm, but he won't fight, and Lucifer thinks it's one of the cutest things ever. Also, he loves the way Alastor just kicks at the air - never actually aiming for anything, just trying to get his energy out

He's always been huge on giving people cheer-up tickles, and never really considered punishment tickles until Alastor started violently bratting in his general direction, which Lucifer of course took as a direct challenge

hello its me- haunting your dashboard and askbox once more haha-

i saw this somewhere else but I don't remember where; what would hell's version of winter be like? I remembered your headcanon about alastor getting cold easily and I would just like to share my vision.

so hell has an extreme climate- we know that- so winter is basically Antarctica. not alastor-friendly AT ALL, it only ever happens once in a blue moon in hell so he's never really had to deal with this before. the whump possibilities are endless lmao. all-around suffering for the deer man.

do with this what you will! no pressure ofc, this is more like a concept you could make your own story or au with so i'm not sure if it counts as an ask- but do whatever you wanna, and if you did ever do a fic, (if that be a series or a one-shot) I would love to make a comic or cover as a Collab! :D

PLEASE never apologize for haunting my dash/asks, this blog is very ghost-friendly!!!!! All ghosts are allowed to haunt as they please!!

As for your beautiful vision: I love it. I will help it grow and will nourish it until it becomes a beautiful whump monster right here on my little laptop. Not sure WHEN I will make it happen, but I WILL make it happen. For now though, I will simply add to this headcanon (expect whatever I add to probably end up in the fic lol)

Winter in Hell is quite the phenomena - only occurring around once every century or so. It doesn't stick to a set schedule though (Lucifer still shudders when he remembers that time that they had five winters within the span of a single decade.) They are also completely by surprise: the most notice Hell has ever had for a winter is that the temperature dropped five degrees in one day. The next morning, sinners couldn't even open their doors the snow was piled so high. And of course, it wouldn't be Hell if the winters were the normal length, no. Winters in Hell can be anything from six months to the record of three motherfucking years. The last winter took place in the late 1910s - about a decade or so before Alastor died.

As mentioned in my previous headcanon, Alastor is a Louisiana boy. And Louisiana did not receive a SINGLE FUCKING INCH of snowfall the entire time Alastor was alive (trust me I CHECKED, that shit is WILD). That means a few things. 1.) Alastor has never seen snow in his now 120ish years of existing. 2.) Alastor has never felt anything below 50°F his entire existence. 3.) Alastor is painfully thin, which means his body has no way to preserve heat. And 4.) Alastor does not appear to have any clothing besides his three-piece suit that he wears all the time in Hell's usual blazing temperatures with seemingly no issue. Of course, this means that his suit would do nothing for him in Actual Cold Weather since he's so used to it.

With all of this knowledge, the only conclusion I can draw is that once winter actually hits, Alastor is royally FUCKED. Especially considering that a winter in Hell is compiled of all of the worst things about winter. The cold air is dry, and the wind is sharp and biting - in the way that leaves your face stinging and your hands and lips splitting. Somehow simultaneously, the snow can change between huge flakes and straight-up sleet, which if you've ever been in sleet, you know it sucks major ass.

If someone doesn't give Alastor a heated blanket He Will Die. Alastor makes the mistake of going outside exactly twice (because let's face it, I love him but this man is too prideful to accept that the weather will kill him after only one attempt - he's Just A Bit Dumb). Both times he has to be rescued by someone at the hotel after he almost fucking freezes to death like An Idiot, and he manages to also get hypothermia both times because he refuses to do anything in halves. After he also almost freezes to death in his room (which is how they find out there's a draft), he's not even allowed in there, and they move him to a guest room right next to Charlie and Vaggie's room that Lucifer added a fireplace to. He alternates between the kitchen (the oven is very warm and Food), his room (the fireplace is very warm and the bed is cozy), and the couch in the lobby (the fireplace is very warm and the couch is cozy and also Alastor is antisocially social).

He is cold. He is miserable. He is perpetually shaking like an old chihuahua. Some of the residents thought it was funny at first, but that quickly stopped after the first Almost Death. They have to watch him because Alastor becomes very despondent, and if he stops shivering, he needs to be warmed up again. Alastor is more exhausted during the winter then he has ever been in his entire existence due to all the energy his body is burning trying to stay warm. He's sleeping more than ever, but he looks absolutely terrible - eyebags so dark they look like a goth guy's eyeshadow, hair a mess, and an overall very strained look about him. He also eats a lot less, so he begins losing weight which is the exact opposite of helpful in this situation. It gets to the point where Husk is willingly braving the elements to get to the butcher shop Alastor likes just to get sinner meat so he will hopefully get something in him.

This winter is the first time any of them have ever seen him willingly snuggle up to someone, and it's fucking LUCIFER because this little bastard puts out the most heat because for some reason that it part of being a seraphim. Lucifer for his part just kinda lets it slide because Alastor would probably die if he didn't and that would make Charlie sad. Ok, and he kinda reminds Lucifer of when Charlie was little and would snuggle up to him, but that's no one's business but his own. If he's a little softer with Alastor afterwards, and less easily provoked by the sinner, that is also no one's business but his own.

hooo, I really let this one get away from me lol. Hope you enjoy this, and please feel free to haunt me as much as you want!! And when I eventually get this pushed out, it would be absolutely fantastic if you decided to make a comic/cover. I absolutely love your art