I’m So Tired I Need To Be Held Or Killed

The Paradoxical Character: 19 Unique Trait Pairings

Here’s a list of 19 wildly unusual, highly contrasting trait pairs that blend quirky or fantastical attributes. These could make for delightfully strange, otherworldly, or surreal characters:

Immensely Patient & Chronically Forgetful Character Idea: They can wait for years without complaint but never remember why they started waiting in the first place. Their endless patience is undercut by the confusion of purpose, creating an aura of timeless mystery.

Unbearably Charming & Involuntarily Invisible Character Idea: This character has charisma in spades but is cursed to flicker out of sight randomly. Their allure is magnetic, but people constantly forget they were even there, adding to their mystique and frustration.

Perpetually Cheerful & Pathologically Suspicious Character Idea: They radiate sunshine and kindness yet believe everyone is secretly plotting against them. Their optimism is baffling, considering they’re convinced of hidden dangers everywhere.

Mind-Reading Empath & Emotionally Oblivious Character Idea: Able to feel others’ emotions intensely, yet baffled by their own, this character has no clue how they themselves feel. They’re highly attuned to everyone else but entirely alienated from their own heart.

Limitless Curiosity & Existentially Terrified Character Idea: Endlessly fascinated by every detail of the universe, yet they’re constantly haunted by the fear of the universe itself. Every new discovery brings wonder and intense dread, creating a fascinating internal tug-of-war.

Brilliant Strategist & Hopelessly Absent-Minded Character Idea: A tactical genius who can plan a perfect heist, yet constantly forgets their own plan halfway through. They’re sought after for their brilliance but just as likely to wander off mid-operation.

Supernaturally Persuasive & Pathologically Indecisive Character Idea: They could talk anyone into anything—if only they could decide what they wanted to say. Their powers of persuasion are legendary, but they take forever to make a single choice.

Ancient Wisdom & Childlike Innocence Character Idea: Despite being impossibly old and wise, they approach every situation with the wonder of a child. They’re both sage and novice, baffling people who come seeking advice but receive only wonder-filled observations.

Obscure Knowledge Hoarder & Shameless Gossip Character Idea: They know every forgotten fact of history yet can’t keep a secret to save their life. This character’s deep knowledge clashes hilariously with their loose tongue, turning historical mysteries into idle chatter.

Zen-like Tranquility & Quick to Panic Character Idea: Usually the calmest person in any room, until anything unusual happens, at which point they’re the first to run. People turn to them for peace until their sudden freakouts reveal a hidden, hilarious irony.

Hyper-Logical Thinker & Ridiculously Superstitious Character Idea: Obsessed with logical consistency yet terrified of stepping on cracks or upsetting minor spirits. Their rationality makes them a master problem-solver, but they’re comically fearful of common superstitions.

Effortlessly Graceful & Magically Clumsy Character Idea: They’re naturally elegant in all they do, but objects randomly fly out of their hands or shatter in their presence. They’re revered for poise but cursed by chaos, creating an aura of unpredictable charm.

Telepathically Intuitive & Immensely Gullible Character Idea: Able to sense the unspoken thoughts of others, but easily duped by the most obvious lies. They sense everyone’s hidden motives but constantly believe in harmless nonsense.

Exceptionally Knowledgeable & Epically Lazy Character Idea: They’ve accumulated endless knowledge from books but refuse to do anything with it. They could save the world but prefer napping and observing others fumble around in ignorance.

Magnet for Coincidences & Cynically Skeptical Character Idea: The most absurd things constantly happen around them, yet they refuse to believe in coincidences. This character is a walking contradiction of fate and disbelief, surrounded by odd events they disdain.

Hyper-Attentive Listener & Mute Character Idea: They pick up every nuance of conversation and are incredibly insightful, but they can’t respond out loud. People find comfort in their presence but struggle to understand their silence and deep gaze.

Radiantly Optimistic & Obsessed with Disaster Preparedness Character Idea: Always smiling and convinced things will work out, yet constantly building bunkers and storing supplies. Their sunny outlook is shadowed by an apocalyptic readiness that baffles everyone.

Unbreakable Memory & Instantly Distracted Character Idea: They remember every moment of their life in perfect detail but are so easily distracted that they rarely finish sentences. They’re a walking history book if only they’d stay focused long enough to share it.

Boundless Energy & Always Asleep Character Idea: They have an endless zest for life and could do anything—if they could just stay awake. People are drawn to their energy, but they frequently fall asleep mid-sentence, leaving everyone in suspense.

#the answer I got is more detailed than I could ever hope #good writing

I found your red star fic and binged the entire thing over the course of, like, a week and loved every second of it. I read on with abject horror as Shera and Messar quickly became my favorite characters, despite knowing exactly how their tail would have to end. Their death was utterly heartbreaking by the way. You made me cry at work, so thanks for that.

Do you have any lore or character bits about the twins you want to share and, dare I ask, will they show up again later in the fic?

Haha, sorry I made you cry at work! If it’s any consolation, I cried a teeny bit writing their deaths. :’)

I do have a bit of twin lore stashed away! Here it is:

Shera and Mesar are nicknames. Their full names, only really used by their parents when they were in trouble, were Sheratan and Mesarthim.

They, like Hamal, loved to sing. The family could harmonize pretty well when they were together. Both of them wanted to make sure Hamal learned the songs that were passed down to them from their parents, as it was an important aspect of their culture in the old days.

Both of the twins gave up on the idea of romance early on in life, since they knew they would be always on the run and needed to prioritize Hamal. That being said, both of them were gay. Shera was exclusively attracted to other women and Mesar to other men. Neither ever got to act on this, however.

Shera prayed to The One Who Waits every single night, hoping her devotion would help Hamal when the time came.

Mesar liked to dance. Shera did not. Mesar didn’t let this stop him from forcing her into it every so often lol.

As one might imagine, some days were rougher than others. Shera often took refuge in meditation, whereas Mesar preferred walks through the wilderness. Knowing their fates wasn’t always easy, but they both did their best to cope with it without worrying Hamal.

Both had chores they preferred doing. Shera enjoyed foraging whereas Mesar liked to mend clothes. They divided up work based on who liked doing what, and this prevented a lot of fighting.

There were, however, still siblings and very much children themselves at points. When they did fight, the usual go-to strategy would be to sit on opposite sides of the camp and ignore each other while they cooled off. This also ended up working pretty well as it gave both of them a chance to think about the others’ perspective before finding a solution together.

Shera instinctively knew the exact moment Mesar died. She “felt” it, in a sense, and decided then to make sure her final stand mattered to some degree.

As for if we’ll see them again…the wedding is scheduled for the Blood Moon in hopes they’ll visit. Perhaps we’ll see them again! ;)

They’ll also eventually pop up in the Cowboy AU I’n writing. In that universe they’re both doing well, living their best lives!

Thanks so much for loving these two. I didn’t expect to get so attached to them when I first started this fanfic series, and I’m glad others like them as much as I do! <3

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Dungeons and Dragons - Fandom, Fantasy - Fandom Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Summary:

Travelers may often find themselves in strange places, and places may often find themselves with strange travelers. This story is the latter.

It's not something I've experienced much myself, and I am hardly a historical scholar, but I can imagine how genocide or oppression can hollow out a culture and leave the survivors with only the worst parts of it. How they only remember the way their people would run and fight and hide. How they only remember the jackboots in the streets, the insults hurled their way and the friends left to die. How no one remembers the way they celebrate because they haven't done so in so long. How no one remembers their stories because the ones who told them are dead and their books burned. How cruelty strips everything away and much of what is left must be cruel in kind.

But they still sing. They still dance. And they do so because joy is stronger than those who would see it stamped out. Because they are still here, and no amount of hate can change that.

Thinking about lambs, whose culture was joyous and loud and vibrant. Lambs who had a dance for everything and a song to match. Lambs whose caravans could be heard marching melodies across the planes. Lambs for who even a combat was done in step to a waltz.

Thinking about The Lamb, who only knows the mourning songs. The Lamb, who only remembers the dances that require a blade in their hands. The Lamb who whispers sad melodies as they walk hostile lands. The Lamb whose only connection to their lost people is in the way they would spill blood.

The Lamb who sings and dances anyway, because while everything else may be gone, they still have this.

Adventuring duo that's an artificer and their little wizard child whose first instinct when encountering a problem is to set it on fire and any implication that this is not the correct solution is taken as a challenge.

My most successful post is entirely based on other people's work. This is less a dig at myself and more a comment on how other artists lift me up and inspire me by being Just That Good.

Pro tip! Instead of doom scrolling for 8 hours at work, doodle your favorite lambs! Then hide them from your coworkers so they still think you're normal!

Artists are: @stychu-stych, @theshepherdshound, @bamsara, @aveloka-draws and @ane-doodles.

Call me a contestant on Hell's Kitchen that is being yelled at by Gordon Ramsay because I'm cooking up some Shit.

Making a fic about this, but to get to the existential horror we are going to have to go through some regular horror first.

Lots of people depict ascension to godhood in cult of the lamb as a horrifyingly dehumanizing thing. There are some cases where the lamb completely loses themselves or even becomes something more akin to a force of nature rather than a person. This is often foiled very well with Narinder learning how to be a person and enjoy the world around him. It results in the potential for a very interesting plot where the lamb is doomed by the narrative while Narinder can be saved by it. It does beg the question however:

What if they say no? What if they decide the story doesn't get to end that way? What if they break divinity over their knee and pull their still-beating happy ending from the open chest of the narrative? What if they never stop fighting for that life they never got to have, even if it is against the very thing that saved and enabled it? A narrative that seeks to doom them against a lamb too willful and stubborn to let that happen.

Well, you know what I think!? No??? Me neither.

A group of hooded figures watch from high in the trees as a lone lamb picks flowers from the forest floor below.

"Something's off..." An opossum shifts in his perch on a branch. "The crown, where is it?"

The badger on the branch next to him flashes a manic smile from underneath his black hood. "That's the thing! They lost it! They're vulnerable. Grendal, you and me, we can be the ones to finally kill them."

Grendal fidgets nervously with the pick he grips in his hands. "The way I've heard it, they've fought gods Flitch. You think we can take that?"

The badger next to him scoffs, rolling his eyes at a cowardly opossum. "Please. All the power they've ever had, it all came from their fake god. Can a fake god stand up to the might of the bishops?"

Grendal shrinks down into his arms, "Well... no...".

"Exactly. And guess what, they don't even have their fake god's power anymore!" Flitch grabs his compatriot by the wrists, and shakes them, as though he could wring the cowardice out. "They've lost the crown. They're nothing now. Just a little lamb, waiting for slaughter."

"Right," Grendal gives the signal to the others waiting in the tree tops "just a lamb"

Half a dozen warriors drop to the ground below, armed to the teeth with picks, knives and magic of the old faith. The lamb is outmatched and outnumbered, all on their lonesome carrying nothing more than a basket of flowers, and a bag slung over their shoulder.

They hardly seem surprised by their sudden appearance. Stopping in their path, they simply stand there; hands folded in front of them, quiet and relaxed, waiting patiently.

"Just a lamb. Just another sacrifice."

---

Grendal gapes in horror at the carnage around him. Corpses cut to pieces and burned bodies surround The Lamb, blood dripping down the steel of their blade as they stare at him expectantly.

It had all happened so fast; the violence, the killing. He believed himself to be an expert, but how many times has The Lamb danced this dance? Dozens, hundreds of times? How foolish was he to think he could fight that?

Shakey hands raise his pick at the lamb. They don't react. They don't need to. What threat could one fool pose to such an efficient killer?

There is a long, agonizing moment where neither of them move, each staring at the other, waiting for their next move. Eventually, The Lamb begins to step toward the terrified heretic.

Grendal drops his blade, falling prostrate before his target. "Please, spare me! I was wrong! I shouldn't have come after you!"

He hears the sound of hooves on dirt as they approach him, and flinches as they kick his weapon away. "Please..." he sobs "I'm sorry."

Gently, a bundle of flowers and two rolls of bandages are placed before him. "Your friend, the badger, he still breathes." They motion to a body leaning against a tree at the far end of the clearing. "Clean and apply pressure to the wound. Grind the flowers into a paste and lather it on the cut when the bleeding slows. It will stave off infection and help with clotting."

They rise from where they crouched before their assailant. "Work quick, and you should be able to save him."

"...why?" Grendal cautiously brings his eyes to meet The Lamb's. "Why not just kill us?"

Their mouth turns down, and eyes droop to the forest floor. "Because I never wanted to in the first place."

Can you draw Leshy trying to convince Lamb and Narinder to go to couples therapy?

i love leshy, he has many secrets. not sure if he's very successful in convincing them so much as outright forcing them?

i don't think he uses his perceptions kindly though. but given that his providence was chaos it would've been important for him to immediately read everyone. the others would've likely been fine at it for like.... other gods, but leshy i assume does this to everyone just to fuck with them

i did also eventually settle on what it was that leshy traded with the mystic seller as the last trade any of the bishops did