Charles: How Can You Possibly Justify Cold-blooded Murder?

Me at 13: ugh all these girls are soooo drama, I am different. I don't even wear pink and listen to pop songs. I guess I am 'not like the other girls'.

*cringe*

Me at 17: loves pink, doesn't like jeans and wears dresses and skirts, watches chick flicks, listens to mainstream pop, worships Taylor Swift, waits for the MET gala every year, loves gossip, watches Chanel, Dior, Balenciaga fashion shows, watches video essays on celebrity culture and media, follows fashion historians, hates sports, hates video games, hates most "boyish" activities and wishes I was in a Jane Austen novel or a Nicolas Sparks movie.

Me: I guess I am the other girls I used to talk about

As the winter approaches I think back to the time Richard Papen tried to stay without a heater or proper roof at the hippie's house during the cold winter of Vermont.

If that isn't peak Californian behaviour, I don't know what is.

Also, the irony of Richard being saved by Henry WINTER is so funny.

Henry was so nice to him during this time because he was trying to indoctrinate Richard into their group further, before revealing the murder they all did and getting him in their side instead of Bunny's. Although my heart wants it to be a genuine friendship between the two. Richard was never truly friends with them, at the least not with Henry. He was used by Henry again and again, whether it be doing small chores, keeping secrets, trying to frame Richard with the poisonous mushrooms and so on.

Richard was fucked the moment he stumbled upon the twins, Bunny and Henry in the library.

TSH but after Bunny's death, the rest of the gang start receiving mysterious messages about their secrets.

Like the twins are sleeping together, they killed the farmer, Richard isn't rich, Francis and Charles have a thing, they tried to escape jail by going to South America, Richard knew about the farmer but kept quiet, Henry and Camilla are secretly involved, Henry tried to kill Bunny with poison mushrooms, Henry and Julian's little kiss, Julian knew about the bacchanal etc.

At first they got these messages, they kept it to themselves. Finding letters and notes in their bags, pockets and books. They kept it to themselves until they went to Bunny's funeral.

And there one of Bunny's nephews runs to them and gives Henry a note addressed to them in a familiar handwriting.

"Did you think you got me buried under the snow? That you got rid of me? I am not gone bitches, I am still here, and I know everything.

- Kisses, B"

"I love you" ❌❌❌

It's boring, overused and predictable

"Just the two of us?"

"Do we need more?"

✅✅✅✅✅✅✅

"That's the real sickness here, your righteousness and hypocrisy. It's the simple fact that you can't live by the rules you set, yet you still pretend. This is your world. You bulit this. If it's too strict, tear it the fuck down. But don't look at me. Don't take your hate out on me, I just got here. And I have no clue where to go, because from the moment I arrived, all I was ever given were orders. 'Smile. Open up. Cross your legs. Speak softer. Scream louder. Be quiet. Be confident. Be an angel. Be a whore. Be a princess. Be anything you want to be'...."

~Assassination nation, 2018.

I don't want a boyfriend (not yet; I am not emotionally mature enough to have one), I just want a guy I can drag around to everywhere I go without either of us getting romantic feelings.

Just pals being pals

(doing this again cuz it was fun)

*Atsushi and Akutagawa got called to Aya's school*

Teacher: Aya punched another student and broke his nose. Both of them fought.

Atsushi, anxious: SHE what? She never acts like that please believe me! I apologise for her actions

Akutagawa, looking at his watch and tapping his feet: do we have to pay damages?

Atsushi: this is not the time for that? Aya-chan, apologise!

Aya: I am not apologising! Daddy, that kid said you are a terrorist and dad is a criminal

Atsushi: no we are not

Akutagawa: we aren't?

Atsushi, gritting his teeth: you're not helping here

Teacher: it's okay...Aya and the kid can talk it out tomorrow and say sorry.

*they get home*

Aya: you're mean, I was defending you!

Atsushi: why am I the villain here. Why aren't you reprimanding her, Akutagawa?

*Akutagawa leans towards Aya and whispers in her ear*

Akutagawa: so who won the fight? Did you?

Atsushi: RYUUNOSUKE----

My main character syndrome is so high that whenever I get into a problem I just go "this is how the plot is supposed to be, it will help in my character development"

Atsushi: I don't know why you look up to Dazai-san of all people?

Akutagawa: why shouldn't I? He is a genius

Atsushi: well, he doesn't eat his vegetables

Akutagawa: what....

Atsushi: he naps during work hours, doesn't do his paperwork and spends most of his time making elaborate plans to annoy Kunikida-san

Akutagawa: you don't know him, he is the Port Mafia's demon prodigy, his ruthlessness and capabilities have no limits,the greatest, youngest, Port Mafia executive that's ever-----

Dazai: Atsushi-kun~

Atsushi: what is it now?

Dazai: I got stuck in the oil barrel again! And I mixed some random pills I found in the drawer. My head hurts, I think I need your help in doing my paperwork today~

Atsushi: why don't you do it in the afternoon?

Dazai: I am hosting a tea party for Ranpo-san, Kenji-kun and Kyouka-chan!

Akutagawa: .....

Atsushi, rolling his eyes: Yeah. Ruthless and capable my ass!

There's a huge difference between living and existing. If all you do is exist, when would you live?

~my biology teacher