"There Are Many Types Of Monsters That Scare Me: Monsters Who Cause Trouble Without Showing Themselves,

"if they are enemies, let them stay enemies. They are enemies in the canon 😡"

Me: No they are lovers, hope that helps ❤️❤️

Richard : Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Camilla: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

Richard : Three of us saw it, Camilla. How do you explain that?

Camilla: *points at Francis* Sleep deprivation. *points at Charles* Paranoia. *points at Henry* Delusional personality disorder.

I don't know how many times I have to say this:

I DON'T NEED HELP

I just want to sleep and not wake up again

Is that too hard to ask?

I can't wait to listen to the new Taylor Swift album to adapt a new personality. Till now I have been: a lovesick highschooler, the girl next door, depressed college student, a popstar, a diva, a lovable goof, a snake, again a more mature lovesick highschooler, a storyteller, a dreamer and now..........let's see.

*Dazai, Chuuya and Sigma on their way back to Japan*

Chuuya: what the fuck were you doing with that anemic son of bitch? Can't you stop flirting with ANYONE you see for five minutes?

Dazai, gasping: how could I ever cheat on you? I would never do that, I was only entertaining him for our plan to work~

Chuuya: AND WHY WERE YOU CONFESSING YOUR LOVE TO ME? THAT'S DISGUSTING. THAT'S SICK

Dazai: Chuuya....we are literally in a relationship

Chuuya: I never said I took you back since you left!

Dazai: then why do you get mad when I flirt with other people?

Chuuya: I feel bad for them. I pity them for dealing with you!!!

Dazai: you are breaking my heart right now Chuuya, have a little mercy~

Sigma, in a corner fiddling with his fingers: I wish I was still unconscious....

Richard: who are them?

Judy: those are the weirdo greek kids, or as we affectionately call them "douchebags"

Judy: that little one is Francis Abernathy, he's rich as shit and cares about nobody.

Jud: he knows everything about everyone, that's why his coats are so big

Frank: they are full of secrets...

Richard: he looks cool.

Judy: whatever. See those two, don't be fooled, they are Charles and Camilla Macaulay, they are twins.

Jud: they might look like little angels but they are the one's who cause the real trouble.

Frank: they are also really incestuous.

Judy: the big blond one is Bunny Corcoran, he is one of the dumbest people you will ever meet.

Jud: he asked me how to spell "Metahemeralism"

Frank: he is the guy everyone loves to hate.

Richard: and who's the one in a suit?

Judy: .....that is Henry Winter, he is the leader of the group. He the richest, the smartest and the most insane out of all of them. How do I begin to explain Henry Winter....

Richard: I feel challenged.

Judy: it's okay, we can be your friends...

Richard: I am gonna go study greek, bye!

Judy: *sighs*

I feel very conflicted with my opinions on Dazai. He is not my favourite character, he never was. But I feel a weird sympathy for him at times when he is seen as a total villan?

He is not evil. I don't know how people mischaracterize Dazai as evil.

With the recent chapter 122, there are a lot of people who hate Dazai and want him to die for what he did to Akutagawa. For a second, I felt like that too. I can't see children being abused, not that anyone wants to see it, but I feel very emotional whenever I see hurt children. My first instinct was to hate Dazai too.

But Dazai isn't a responsible adult. Dazai himself was a 16 year old, trying to find meaning in life, guiding a 14 year old into the dark side. This isn't an older, experienced, manipulative man who knows what he is doing but a teenager who thinks he knows everything. Dazai himself ran away from home and was suicidal already at the age of 14, just the same lonely child as Akutagawa. But he found "meaning" in the Port Mafia, or at least trying to. When he gave his word to Akutagawa that he'll "certainly" find meaning in life, I don't think it's manipulation, Dazai himself believes in it. An adult putting you in a dangerous climate is very different than when your cousin tells you to smoke because "it's cool, dude"

I am NOT defending Dazai's abuse of Akutagawa, as I said before, I am not some Dazai superfan (which, Dazai being portrayed as completely innocent also irks me!). I want there to be balance in the conversation surrounding it.

Dazai AND Akutagawa were children, they were both trying to find reasons to live. They grew up in the Port Mafia. We have seen how cruel and unhinged Dazai can be during his time in the PM. We have seen Akutagawa, and his constant internal battle with good and evil. These two are not some heartless creatures, both of them are changing for the better. Dazai found proper guidance in Oda, and taking his words, he became a better mentor to Atsushi. Akutagawa was left in the PM alone, so he grew stone cold and ruthless until he saw the light again, because of Atsushi (in recent chapters his eyes are literally lighter)

Does Dazai feel bad for what he did to Akutagawa? No, at least not now or we don't know what he is feeling, I don't trust anything that comes out of his mouth. But he doesn't HAVE to feel bad. That's what morally grey characters are. If Dazai immediately repented for what he did, it won't be realistic or true to his personality. Yes, he is in the ADA, but he is NOT some great person just because he chose to leave PM, even he himself knows that! That's why he felt so shocked when Atsushi called him a good person. Dazai knows he is not a good person and that's why he doesn't repent for what he did to Akutagawa. We don't accept our mistakes easily, not when we thought of them as means to an end. Dazai truly believed what he did to Akutagawa was a pro and not a con. If he will change that perspective now, is more about his own character arc.

Akutagawa was just a kid, influenced by Dazai. He wanted to impress him, like we do to our parents. Like we fight tooth and nails to defend our parents mistakes and sometimes even abuse. He isn't ready to accept what Dazai did to him was wrong. But when he saw how Dazai treats Atsushi, I am pretty sure he felt like dying. Because imagine your parent treating their step children better than you, that's how I see Aku's jealousy to be like. Dazai was his mentor first, why is he praising and coddling this random guy who just came into his life? But Akutagawa doesn't hate Atsushi in particular, he hates the treatment he gets from Dazai. I think considering what's happening in recent chapters, just like how Atsushi overcame his conflicting feelings towards the headmaster, Akutagawa will do the same with Dazai.

Akutagawa carried the cycle of abuse, doing the same thing Dazai did to him to Kyouka, another 14 year old (she trained since she was even younger). But unlike Dazai, when Kyouka is finally free from PM, Akutagawa doesn't want her to come back to him, he stops abusing her, Dazai still is awful and manipulative with Akutagawa at times. He feels happy for Kyouka, because HE wanted someone to rescue him too. Of all the abused children, Akutagawa was the one who never got rescued. Akutagawa was abusive to Kyouka, it can't be erased because of his own tragic past, he also hit Higuchi and seem to answer everything with violence. This is why the cycle of abuse is so painful, Akutagawa was taught to be this way and he CHOSE to stay this way, until he made the bet to stop killing people with Atsushi. I don't think Akutagawa will ever go back to his own ways after this arc is over. You can't undo your past, you have to move on, keep walking, keep living and trying to do better next time.

I want Dazai to get some good old karma! I want him to face the consequences for what he did to Akutagawa. I want Atsushi to have conflicting feelings towards Dazai but I don't want him to hate Dazai. Atsushi understands people on a deeper level, he's going to try and change people no matter of their pasts. Akutagawa and Dazai aren't going to be on good terms ever, that can't happen. I want Dazai to stop treating Akutagawa like shit and I want Akutagawa to stop wanting validation from Dazai.

Now the final verdit from me, is Dazai evil? No. Is Dazai a good person? No. Can Dazai change? Yes. Did Atsushi have a huge impact on both Dazai and Akutagawa? Yes. Is Akutagawa already changing? Yes. Can Dazai be vile? Yes. Can Dazai be soft? Yes. Does Dazai deserve to die? No.

Morally grey characters cannot be good or evil. They are grey. Let them be grey. We shouldn't erase their bad sides and we can't act like they didn't do good. BOTH Dazai and Akutagawa are morally grey characters. They are just different types of grey. Akutagawa is speed running to the light and Dazai is stuck in the middle of the grey. People have the ability to change for the better or worse, no matter who they are.

Now let's be clear: Dazai and Akutagawa are not the same. Dazai is a much worse person than Akutagawa, what he did was not excusable considering he doesn't feel bad for what he did. That is why he cannot be a good person. Dazai isn't a victim of abuse like Akutagawa either, although I do believe he had enough problems already to screw his brain before he moved to PM, living in PM isn't exactly an environment to raise someone right, who is constantly called "the demon prodigy". He IS the demon prodigy.

No matter what Dazai did in the PM, I can't hold a child to the upmost standards. There's a reason why Juveniles have a seperate court. Juveniles shouldn't get death penalty. Dazai committed heinous crimes as a child. But he is NOT the only child who did this. Everyone in PM has committed several crimes. It's a fictional story after all. Because of that I can't HATE Dazai. I believe all children deserve to be saved, to be given a second chance. Dazai went to the ADA and started to use his dark sides for the good. I can't call him evil for his past, when he was a suicidal kid, mentally ill, having a god knows what tragic backstory. Yes Dazai was smarter than an average teenager, but if you have read "The Day I picked up Dazai", you know despite all that; he was just a kid.

A kid abusing another kid cannot be any less tragic. There is not one childhood loss. It's TWO childhoods lost.

(ps: I was scared to post this lol 😭😭😭😭)

My new headcanon is that neither Atsushi nor Akutagawa know how babies are made.

Yosano: and they were totally doing it!

Atsushi: doing what?

Yosano: the deed!

Akutagawa: murder?

Ranpo: they don't know

Yosano: you two want some sex ed classes?

Atsushi: excuse me? That sounds like a bad word!

Akutagawa: I am not coming to whatever that is, we are not children

Dazai, with shining eyes: you see when two people really loovvee---

Yosano and Ranpo: *restraining Dazai*

"It was good while it lasted. We eased eachother's boredom for a while. It's been interesting"

~Ryuk, Death Note.

ENTP: hey, what a surprise, you are calling me for the first time!

INTP: I need your help in killing someone

ENTP: I know you have a vengeance against the P.E teacher but you can't just kill him....

INTP: Not him! I want to kill INFJ.

ENTP: .....what...I thought you liked INFJ

INTP: Exactly, because of him I am getting neurochemical reactions in my brain that I don't like. I get anxious whenever I see him. I feel self-conscious and my heart pounds like crazy. INFJ reminds me of my grandma, mom and my favourite English teacher whenever he talks. He distracts me when he smiles. He needs to be eliminated.

ENTP:......I think you are in love.

INTP: SHUT UP ENTP, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE?