My Problem Is Saying I Don't Give A Shit About What Anyone Says And Yet Seeking Validation From Them.

TSH Holiday season Headcanons (adjusted timeline):

Bunny dressed up as Santa and gave Francis, Henry, Charles and Camilla handcuffs (Richard wondered what exactly was it's purpose, kinky or metaphorical)

Camilla and Henry baked a Rum and Champagne flavoured cake

Richard dug snow for two hours in front of Dr. Roland's office and tricked him into getting 1k for it. (He then spent all of it in expensive gifts for the other four and Julian)

Francis watched old movies while drinking and smoking from dawn to dusk

Charles and Camilla made a snowman outside their house

Bunny and Henry had a fun (& angry) snowball fight

Camilla and Richard went to the Christmas market to buy goodies

Judy Poovey gave Richard a nice suit for the party and let him keep it (Judy! Bless her!)

Richard dropped by Francis's and had a lunch consisting of only drinking (and a Maraschino cherry or two)

Henry gave Richard his old books as a gift ("I am sorry I didn't have time to buy something better" "Henry....these are first edition copies! Isn't this enough?" "But it's second handed" "FIRST EDITION COPIES!")

Julian threw a big party for the class and invited his famous friends to it (Richard was wrecked when some Californians asked him about his dad's oil business)

Bunny kept asking Richard why his gifts were so "cheap". Henry and Francis were burning with rage

Henry doesn't like the holiday season but obliged to go to only Julian's party

Charles got wasted and slept in Julian's bathroom (you know how mad Henry would be at him for that)

Bunny took a lot of pictures of Charles in a bathtub wearing a Santa hat for their New Year's greeting crads

Francis and Camilla went home together to watch Christmas movies

Bunny and Richard carried Charles home (Henry was apologising to Julian, who thought passing out drunk is the holiday spirit)

Then all of the gang played charades together (Camilla won, Francis was second, Bunny and Richard were okay and Henry lost by a landslide. Charles was sleeping on the couch humming "Jingle bells")

My new headcanon is that neither Atsushi nor Akutagawa know how babies are made.

Yosano: and they were totally doing it!

Atsushi: doing what?

Yosano: the deed!

Akutagawa: murder?

Ranpo: they don't know

Yosano: you two want some sex ed classes?

Atsushi: excuse me? That sounds like a bad word!

Akutagawa: I am not coming to whatever that is, we are not children

Dazai, with shining eyes: you see when two people really loovvee---

Yosano and Ranpo: *restraining Dazai*

The way Richard thought all the guys---Henry, Bunny, Charles and Francis (who actually was) were gay in one way or another. Except for Camilla, she can't be sapphic, cuz that'll ruin his fantasy of her..... No wonder he was disappointed about the bacchanal, he missed the orgy he dreamed of 😂😂😂😂

*At the dinner table*

Tamaki: Mommy, can you pass me the salt?

Kyoya: here you go, Daddy.

Haruhi, in her head: Am I the child in this situation?

Haruhi: Tamaki, I wasn't aware when I married you that we also married Kyoya

Tamaki, dramatically: don't tell me you didn't know Kyoya and I are a two in one package?

Kyoya: I thought I couldn't leave you alone with this idiot, so I strung along. There is no better motivator than self interest.

Haruhi: eh? Whatever.

Chuuya, singing in the kareoke: I wanna key his car, I wanna make him lunch

Dazai, whispering to Atsushi: Chuuya sounds so desperate

Chuuya: I wanna break his heart and be the one to stitch it up

Dazai: .....wait

Chuuya: Wanna kiss his face

*Dazai, smirks*

Chuuya, making a fist: with an uppercut

Dazai: oh no....

Chuuya: I wanna meet his mom, to tell her, her son sucks!!!

*ADA and PM laughing in the background*

Dazai, slamming his glass: why doesn't he love me, dammit!

Oda: maybe you should calm down a little; following him around and spying on him would come off as creepy to him.

Ango, massaging his temples: I have no idea how you haven't gotten arrested for spying!

Dazai: maybe because we are fucking criminals that work in the Mafia, Ango? I don't think Chuuya would report ME to the police of all people....

Oda: what if he reports you to the boss?

Dazai: the boss is the one who gave me the idea of spying on Chuuya to get his attention! He has been helping me all along!

Oda:......

Ango: that sounds like him.

*Meanwhile*

Chuuya: that idiot mackerel has been following me around for a week! Can you stop him?

Mori: interesting, have you thought of giving in and going out with him?

Chuuya: of course no----wait a minute! THAT'S your question? Shouldn't you stop that crazy ass behaviour?

Mori: I have decided to send you two on a joint mission to Hawaii....for a month.

Chuuya: huh? What will we do there? Have a honeymoon?

Mori:....

Chuuya: NOOOOO

What would you do in a trolley problem? Hit the 5 people in your way or save them and hit a spectator?

Hufflepuff: I would not like to hit anyone but if I had to.....the spectator. Because killing one person is better than 5.

Gryffindor: I would hit the 5 people, it would be wrong to kill an innocent bystander.

Ravenclaw: try to stop the trolley somehow or else jump off the trolley, I can't handle responsibility.

Slytherin: hit the 5 people, then reverse the trolley and hit the spectator. No witness, no crime.

There's a Olivia Rodrigo song for every emotion. (I LOVE ALL OF THEM)

Brutal: I hate this world so much

Traitor: I got cheated on/my friend found a new friend

Driver's license: I miss my ex/ex-friend

1 step forward, 3 steps back: toxic relationships and issues you can't leave

Deja vu: I can't believe he/she/they replaced me!

Good 4 u: oh so you have moved on from me...sure...ahahhah...I am not mad...hahhahah...(ur dead)

Enough for you: I changed everything about myself because ur shit

Happier: maybe you can be less happy, there are some sensitive people around!

Jealousy Jealousy: self explanatory (also "everyone thinks he’s so smart, wonderful Potter with his scar and his broomstick" ~Draco Malfoy)

Favourite Crime: I know u are a felon and a criminal but you have a sweet side and a tender heart only I can change!

Hope ur ok: (cries) address the letters to the holes of my butterfly wings (cries some more)

Atsushi really said "I can fix him" AND HE DID

sskk makes me ugly cry (both romantic and platonic)

Every time I hear "Do we need more?" I spontaneously combust

Henry: let's kill Bunny.

Francis: sounds good

Charles: no problemo

Camilla: I don't care if you do

Richard:....okay? Yay, killing bunny!!!

Me: YOU ARE GONNA COVER UP A MURDER BY ANOTHER MURDER????? I KNOW WE HATE HIM,BUT MURDER, HENRY SERIOUSLY! AND RICHARD WHY ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO GET INVOLVED???? DIDN'T YOU COME HERE FOR THE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE, IS MURDER A COLLEGE EXPERIENCE????

Also, me: wait I already knew Bunny was getting killed why I am so surprised.....I had forgotten it was coming?

Also, me: fuck Bunny, let's kill him!