Latest Posts by welivetodream - Page 2

"I am always jealous. I am ALWAYS jealous. No matter how much I have. I am always wanting more. I can't be filled. I can't be enough. I can't get everything. I want more. I want more. And I have so much love, blessings, accomplishments, money, talent----more than I deserve for free and I still chase for more. I still scoff at other's happiness. I still wish for their failures. I pray for their downfall. I want to see them get beautifully destroyed, just because I don't want to see them succeed. I still want what they have even if in reality, I don't need it, I want it so they can't have it. I am so petty, so mean, so ill. No wonder no one likes me. I am filled with so much hate and despair and spite that I could never ever have enough"

~one of my unfinished novels. <3

*Kunikida calls Atsushi*

Atsushi: hello? Kunikida-san....what's up?

Kunikida: do you know where Dazai is? He left before doing any paperwork

Atsushi, *staring at Dazai and Kyouka eating shaved ice on the dining table*: no? Do I?

Kunikida *sighs*: are you asking me or answering the question?

Atsushi: I am sure.. he'll show up....one day

Kunikida: eh...fine. If you see him tell him to get his ass back to the office

*phone cuts*

Atsushi: Dazai-san! Look! I had to lie to Kunikida-san because of YOU

Dazai: awww you are such a nice person Atsushi!

Atsushi *rolling his eyes*: how did you even get my keys? The door was locked? Did you give him, Kyouka-chan?

Kyouka: *shakes her head*

Dazai: oh, I have a copy of your keys 😄

Atsushi: what.😨

Dazai: what?

Atsushi: HOW DID YOU GET MY KEYS?

Dazai: I made a copy of them before you got this apartment 😄

Atsushi: 😐😐😐😐

Dazai: ah don't worry, I have the keys of all the people I care about. Here's Chuuya's, I kept them with me all these years....

Atsushi: HOW WILL I NOT WORRY AFTER KNOWING THAT----

Asagiri really loves SSKK that's why he's killing everyone so they can have their gay ass reunion and say nice things about eachother and reassure eachother and support eachother in a mean way

Akutagawa: Stupid were-tiger lets everyone dieee

Atsushi, tears in his eyes because he is happy to see Aku: then why are you here bitch?

Akutagawa: to save you

Atsushi: 🫥🫥🫥

Akutagawa: because Dazai-san told me to! That's why I am gonna save you! For Dazai-san! For the mission!

Atsushi: well, I'll admit it's nice to see an.....ally

Akutagawa: yeah yeah sure...we are not allies..

Aya: I am right here. Stop flirting. The world is literally ending!

I am gonna take a break from TSH. Although it was because of that I started this blog. I have been very burned out with that book. I cleaned out my drafts. For the past three years of hyper-fixation made me learn about so many things. I have changed my opinions so much since I made my first post and it made me realise how you not only mature in age but also in your ideas about certain topics and characters.

It won't probably be my final post about TSH, I want to return to it a few years later to see it in a retrospective lens opposed to the rose-tinted one I wore when I completed the book for the first time.

My current thoughts on the characters;

Henry: loved him at first and I love him still. But for different reasons. I loved him when I first read the book because I was too in love with his character to realise the type of person he was. Even agreeing on his terrible decisions (ex: killing Bunny, bacchanal, etc...) but now I love him because he is so unhinged and terrible like the many morally grey/evil characters we all love.

Richard: for some reason I thought he was a good person who got wrapped in all this shit and wasn't bad. Now I think Richard is equally responsible for the tragedy by not reporting a murder and by being an actual accomplice to murder.

Camilla: my thoughts on her have changed the least. At first I used to think she was just the nicest of them. And then it changed to--- she is hiding a secret dark side or more layers we don't get to see.

Francis: I thought he was also the nicest, next to Camilla because he doesn't take any problematic actions. But it is his inability to take actions of his own that makes him bad. Although I still think he is underrated and often misunderstood

Charles: I couldn't stand Charles at first. And I can't just justify everything he did cuz he is terrible. It's just he is often used as a scapegoat to make Henry look better which I hate. He's a menace yes, but so is Henry!!!!!

Julian: I don't have a lot to say cuz we rarely see him. All I can say is he is not the mastermind of the whole story. He's a John Keating gone wrong example.

Bunny: my thoughts on Bunny have changed the most. From HATING him to feeling sympathy and even bad for him. I still won't agree he is somehow the best person out there, cuz he is definitely not. Bunny is hated to an extent that he doesn't deserve. And ounce and for all, he didn't deserve to die (I take back what I said about him in the past)

Judy: ounce a queen 👑 always a queen 👑

So this is it. Thanks TSH for being the bane and reason for my existence since the pandemic.

~ 🕊️

Funny enough the only two people I would be friends with (or interact with) in TSH if I was in the book are-----Bunny and Richard.

I am sorry as much as the others are more interesting. They are also TERRIFYING.

Bunny is an asshole, but I have met and been friends with so many assholes and even Judy likes him, he's the least problematic in the grand scheme of things.

And Richard is basic in a way he will never admit he is, he has his bad moments but he's still not that out of touch.

Do I adore Camilla? Yes. Would I talk to her? Nope, she would scare me. I won't be anywhere near Henry. I'll observe Francis from afar and I'll have a small talk ounce with Charles just cuz he looks like a friendly person. And that's it.

Therapist: so let's unpack everything

Atsushi: everyone I know and love is dying one by one

Therapist: that's very unfortunate---

Atsushi: and they all died in front of me and I couldn't save them

Therapist: things like that aren't in our hands----

Atsushi: they sacrificed their lives for me....

Therapist: okay....this is really bad. How about we start with your childhood?

Atsushi: I was locked up in an Orphanage and suffered abuse and experimented on until they kicked me out when I was 18

Therapist: I don't think I can do this.

TSH but after Bunny's death, the rest of the gang start receiving mysterious messages about their secrets.

Like the twins are sleeping together, they killed the farmer, Richard isn't rich, Francis and Charles have a thing, they tried to escape jail by going to South America, Richard knew about the farmer but kept quiet, Henry and Camilla are secretly involved, Henry tried to kill Bunny with poison mushrooms, Henry and Julian's little kiss, Julian knew about the bacchanal etc.

At first they got these messages, they kept it to themselves. Finding letters and notes in their bags, pockets and books. They kept it to themselves until they went to Bunny's funeral.

And there one of Bunny's nephews runs to them and gives Henry a note addressed to them in a familiar handwriting.

"Did you think you got me buried under the snow? That you got rid of me? I am not gone bitches, I am still here, and I know everything.

- Kisses, B"

Henry Winter will ALSO tell you to look at wild ferns, and then push you off a cliff while you are looking for said ferns 🌿

Henry Winter will ask you for calculations about poison mushrooms and then try to frame you for killing HIS best friend

Richard missed a bullet, literally, when Henry killed himself. Or he was gonna get framed and into the prison because of Henry.

That's why he always made Richard do his errands at first, he was trying to collect fake evidence.

*Akutagawa and Atsushi fighting*

Dazai: *playing "Kiss Kiss Fall in Love" in the background*

....................................

Atsushi: I really HATE Akutagawa

Dazai: you mean you love him?

Atsushi: no.

....................................

Akutagawa: jinko gets on my nerves and my mind 24/7

Dazai: so you like him

Akutagawa: no.

....................................

I want to see a TSH pov but from

✨ Julian's Version ✨

Julian knew about the bacchanal yes but he clearly had no idea that the farmer and Bunny were killed by the others, that's why he left immediately cuz he couldn't deal with the truth and the responsibility. Throughout the book he is confused about where all his students are and what they are doing, why they are acting like that. I just want to see him spiral as he figures things out. To see what they have become. Because of him.

(also I am just interested in Julian, like what was his deal? What was he doing all day? The book didn't have enough Julian. I wanted to know him better)

The way Richard thought all the guys---Henry, Bunny, Charles and Francis (who actually was) were gay in one way or another. Except for Camilla, she can't be sapphic, cuz that'll ruin his fantasy of her..... No wonder he was disappointed about the bacchanal, he missed the orgy he dreamed of 😂😂😂😂

"I love you" ❌❌❌

It's boring, overused and predictable

"Just the two of us?"

"Do we need more?"

✅✅✅✅✅✅✅

Dazai saves Chuuya's number as "My financial help" because he borrows/steals a LOT of money from Chuuya. And one day Atsushi reads the call ID accidentally when Dazai is on phone and talking to Chuuya, and Atsushi only sees "My finance", which his brain interprets as "My fiancè".

And......

Atsushi with flowers: Congratulations, Chuuya-san on your engagement. I guess you are keeping it low-key now 😄

Chuuya, confused: what?

Dazai, gasps: woah Chuuya you are engaged? Who is it?

Atsushi: Oh come Dazai-san, you can't lie to me. You and Chuuya-san are getting married

Chuuya: WHAT???😨

Dazai: did you hear that Chuuya? We are getting married!!!!🥰

Yosano: congrats you two 🍷

Kunikida: at least tell your colleagues about your marital status...

Kyouka: I have to tell Ane-san this, she will be furious

Kenji: a wedding in the agency!!!! I'll bring a cow for the dinner!

Junichiro: I can't believe you two went through with it! Congratulations!

Ranpo: Will there be a huge cake in the wedding? Or else I won't come 🍭

Fukuzawa: does Mori know about this?

Chuuya: WE ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED. WHERE DID THIS COME FROM

Dazai: Chuuya now this is peer pressure, we HAVE to get married 😚

Chuuya: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO CHIPPY

*ten years later*

Dazai: Thank you Atsushi-kun for getting Chuuya to marry me

Atsushi: Dazai-san, you two have divorced three times by now

Dazai: Fourth time's the charm!!!

Julian: where's Bunny?

Richard: doing stuff

Julian: where's Henry?

Richard: trying to stop Bunny from doing stuff

Julian: where is Charles?

Richard: trying to stop Henry from stopping Bunny from doing stuff

Julian: Camilla?

Richard: trying to stop Charles from stopping Henry from stopping Bunny from doing stuff

Julian, sighs: let me guess Francis is stopping Camilla?

Richard: no, he got tired of all this, drank a lot of vodka and took a nap

Julian: then why pray are you here?

Richard: I am trying to stop you from stopping Camilla from stopping Charles, from stopping Henry from stopping Bunny from doing stuff.

Julian: I can't believe I pay the college for shit like this....

The reason Bunny gets a shit load of hate despite him being the only one who is NOT an accomplice to murder is because of one simple thing:

His personality.

That is the reason we can't feel bad for him. We as a society have considered Homophobia and sexism one of the worst things you can ever do. Which is true.

Murder is justified in certain situations, especially when it's in a fictional universe/story, not saying Bunny's death was justified, but we can excuse murder----even the law excuses murder at times. It's something grey and understandable in certain situations. We have liked; even loved characters who have killed others simply because it is in a fictional story.

The reason we draw the line at Bunny's behaviour is because, Homophobia, Racism, Sexism/Misogyny as well other forms of discrimination are NEVER excusable. When someone says a slur, you can't excuse that by comparing them in terms of morality with other characters. In modern society, we don't accept slurs and derogatory remarks.

Maybe in the 90's and 2000's when the book was new and fresh, people might not have cared about Bunny's behaviour much, maybe they even sympathize with him and loved him, because it was a DIFFERENT TIME back then. We cannot tolerate things like that anymore and it makes people harder to sympathize with Bunny.

Other than all that, Bunny is annoying a lot of the time. He is not the loveable goof he thinks he is. He scams his friends. He is cocky and arrogant. He is dumb and condescending. He says the worst things at wrong times. He puts people down. He pokes fun at others weaknesses. And the more you see of him the worse he gets. Even to the point you wish he dies.......

And he does. It's in his death that Bunny is more humanized, as most people are, in death.

And it is SOOO frustrating because he is the sanest person in the entire class. The most normal and least indoctrinated in those beliefs.

Bunny Corcoran is a character I wanted to like. But he kept getting on my nerves and I found others more interesting than him. And after reading the book several times I can appreciate him more. Although I don't agree with so many theories about him being a "good" person.

Bunny doesn't need to be good. He doesn't need anyone defending him. He doesn't need excuses for his personality. He is annoying, sometimes endearing; he makes your blood boil and he's still gone too soon. His death is a tragedy. He wanted to live. Forever.

Bunny is Bunny

You love, you hate him, or you don't care about him

His existence is necessary for the story and it's time we don't fight about if he was an angel or the devil

He was a person. A deeply flawed, complex person. And we should appreciate him just for that.

~🕯️🕊️🐇

NOW TELL ME THIS IS NOT AKUTAGAWA SIBLINGS CODED (specifically, Gin)

"We've taken different paths

And travelled different roads

I know we'll always end up on the same one when we're old

And when you're in the trenches

And you're under fire I will cover you"

"If I was dying on my knees

You would be the one to rescue me

And if you were drowned at sea

I'd give you my lungs so you could breathe

I've got you brother"

"We're living different lives

Heaven only knows

If we'll make it back with all our fingers and our toes

Five years, twenty years, come back

It will always be the same"

(doing this again cuz it was fun)

*Atsushi and Akutagawa got called to Aya's school*

Teacher: Aya punched another student and broke his nose. Both of them fought.

Atsushi, anxious: SHE what? She never acts like that please believe me! I apologise for her actions

Akutagawa, looking at his watch and tapping his feet: do we have to pay damages?

Atsushi: this is not the time for that? Aya-chan, apologise!

Aya: I am not apologising! Daddy, that kid said you are a terrorist and dad is a criminal

Atsushi: no we are not

Akutagawa: we aren't?

Atsushi, gritting his teeth: you're not helping here

Teacher: it's okay...Aya and the kid can talk it out tomorrow and say sorry.

*they get home*

Aya: you're mean, I was defending you!

Atsushi: why am I the villain here. Why aren't you reprimanding her, Akutagawa?

*Akutagawa leans towards Aya and whispers in her ear*

Akutagawa: so who won the fight? Did you?

Atsushi: RYUUNOSUKE----

*Akutagawa tying Aya's hair*

Aya: Ahhh are you trying to kill me? You can't even make pig tails?

Akutagawa: if you complain too much I'll use rashomon to tie it up

Aya: HEY that's not fair!

*noise and smoke from the kitchen*

Akutagawa, rolling his eyes: jinko I thought you could cook

Atsushi: uh yeah I can cook basic things. Your kitchen is too advanced for me!

Aya: I don't want to eat burned toast again papa

Atsushi: I know honey, I'll make sure it's only slightly burned

Akutagawa: now did you do your homework?

Aya: what homework?

Atsushi: what homework?

*Akutagawa making a science project and Atsushi writing essays*

Aya: are you sure you two can do this? You haven't been to school before

Akutagawa: I am smart enough to do it unlike a certain weretiger---

Atsushi: oh you SHUT UP--

(shhhh BSD is about two rivals raising a little girl together like it's buddy daddies)

*TSH memes from incorrect quotes generator part 2*

____________________________________

Richard : Looking left cause you don’t treat me right

Francis : Looking right because you left

Charles : Looking up cause you let me down

Camilla: Looking down cause you fucked up

Henry: What is wrong with you guys

____________________________________

Henry : Favorite horror movie?

Richard : It

Charles : Saw

Camilla: Annabelle

Francis: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

____________________________________

Richard : Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Francis : Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Charles : Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Camilla: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Henry: My moral code, is that you?

Richard :

Richard : I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

_________________________________________

*TSH memes from incorrect quotes generator part 1*

____________________________________

Henry , walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Richard : Hey.

Charles : Hi.

Camilla: Hello.

Francis: Hey!

Henry : I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Bunny: We were out of Doritos.

_________________________________________

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Richard : Thanks fam!

Henry : oh no

Charles : *cries* I love you too

Camilla: Sounds fake but okay

Francis: *A flustered mess*

Bunny: can i get a refund

____________________________________

Henry : Time for plan G.

Richard : Don’t you mean plan B?

Henry : No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Charles : What about plan D?

Henry : Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Camilla: What about plan E?

Henry : I’m hoping not to use it. Bunny dies in plan E.

Francis: I like plan E.

____________________________________

*Dazai losing his mind over Fyodor being alive*

Chuuya: boy you gotta chill, we can catch him again

Dazai: we NEVER caught him in the first place!

Chuuya: Don't worry we will find him and catch him this time. The rest are fighting too they'll be okay.

Dazai: I CAN'T STAY CALM RIGHT NOW CHUUYA

Chuuya: who are you so worried about??

*sometime in the past*

Dazai: why are you always worried about things, it's not good to be this anxious

Atsushi: it took me a long time to find a family, I feel scared of losing them

Dazai, caught off-guard: losing? You will never lose us. We are the sticking kind

Atsushi: what will I do if I am alone ounce again?

Dazai: if it makes you feel better even if everyone else is gone, you will always have me

Atsushi: Dazai-san!!!🥺

*present time*

Dazai: CHUUYA WE NEED TO GO BACK TO JAPAN RIGHT NOW, someone needs me!!!

Chuuya: geez okay, let me hijack a helicopter first

Nikolai: I can take you with my ability

Dazai: what are you doing here right now???

Nikolai: I was taking selfies with Dos-kun's hand *waves the hand*

Chuuya: you're going to Japan too?

Nikolai: I need to meet the love of my life

Chuuya: you mean your enemy?

Nikolai: it's the same thing

Dazai, to himself: don't worry Atsushi-kun I'll come back. Stay strong. Kunikida will be with you until then.

I don't know about other characters but if there was a TSH adaptation on screen (which I hope is directed and written by Donna herself) then my fancast for Julian is Steve Carrel.

Julian is charismatic and friendly, all knowing or at least seeming so, a talker, a mystic type of person. He isn't young but has young features and greying hair but still handsome. He is supposed to make you want to listen to him all the time and Steve Carrel just exudes that energy.

*Someone on reddit*: Skk is toxic and I don't understand why people ship them. IT'S OVERRATED and doesn't make sense

*Me*: here we go again 🍷 I was waiting for this post all week

Dear people, let's enjoy FICTIONAL things without criticising others for enjoying things you don't like or understand, it is NOT that serious 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Seriously, talk about things that you DO enjoy, that's more important. We do not want to constantly hear people bitch about things we like again and again with the same fucking arguments.

I have a feeling people won't shit about Skk so much if they weren't two guys----just sayin' 🤷🏻‍♀️ (infact Asagiri would have made it canon himself, like he was planning to with sskk)

Can we just stop hating on things? I am tired of the same discussions.

Julian: Henry, what's the ONE thing I told you NOT to do EVER?

Henry: kill someone

Julian: And what did you do?

Henry: I killed someone

Julian:

Man literally left after he found out his students killed someone ☠️☠️☠️☠️

He's not gonna clean this mess

Atsushi: I am really sorry for your loss little girl 😔

Aya: why do my dad's keep dying

Atsushi: oh....did you have two dads?

Aya: uh huh, technically four

Atsushi: h-how did that happen

Aya: I have a biological dad, who was the worst thing in my life

Atsushi: oh sorry

Aya: then I got Kunikida and things were okay for while, then he died.

Atsushi, tears forming: yes I just saw that 😭

Aya: Bra-chan became my dad too, he thinks I remind him of his daughter

Atsushi: awww 🥺

Aya: he was killed by Dosto-whatever-his-name-is in front of me

Atsushi: not him too

Aya: then the Dosto-person became my new dad, which I didn't consent to, he took Bra-chan's body!

Atsushi: this cannot get weirder

Aya: after all that Bra-chan came back to life for a min and gave me a new dad to replace him

Atsushi: and who's that?

Akutagawa: Princess, I brought your favourite doughnuts!

Atsushi: A-Akutagawa? What are you---

Aya: Oh here he is my new dad

Atsushi: you are a dad now?

Akutagawa: yes, it just happened recently. Jinko we have a child now.

Atsushi: W-We what?

I read your theory!!!!! It was very well researched and well written <3 <3

I could never do that much research tbh 😂😂😂

So this might seem a bit "naive" when I try to use the argument of not liking the theory just because it doesn't sit right with me personally.

I have also written a theory about Richard lying about things to a degree that he might have made everything up. (He's like a self insert Y/N lol)

I am not Christian or know much about religion either way to comment on those types of things.

All I know from what I understood from the text is:

Bunny knew Henry was after him, he was completely paranoid about that. Him and Henry have a very complicated relationship that we see very little of.

To me Henry pushing Bunny will always be important--- cuz the idea of Bunny watching Henry kill him is just heartbreaking.

Bunny considered Henry his best friend, he loved him.

To see someone you care about so much END your life is tragic. Especially since Bunny wanted to live; he wanted to live forever. He wasn't even dead for ages, so he was lying there in the snow and if he could process things and think. Imagine how he must feel when his best friend killed him!!!!

Richard and Bunny have limited interactions and I do not find their dynamic as compelling as Richard and Henry's is. Richard spent more time with the rest of the friends than he did with Bunny.

Despite knowing Richard has more hand in the story, I still am in the minority of people who actually do NOT want Richard to have an active role.

I like how things are from his POV, he is so basic and normal (to a degree)

He's basically the audience surrogate; reacting rather than doing things actively for story to advance.

And I just prefer Richard that way!

This isn't trying to retract from your theory btw! I love when people have their own theories and discussions it's very fun to see and argue about.

I don't like that particular theory for personal reasons, but I did enjoy reading yours!

It must have taken ages 😭😭😭😭😭 (my old theories are still in the drafts lol)

Am I the only one who hates the "Richard pushed Bunny theory" (⁠*⁠_⁠*⁠)

I feel like it takes away sooo much from Bunny and Henry's friendship/relationship

Richard pushing Bunny does NOT have the same impact as Henry, Bunny's best friend pushing him to death.

Ik we want Richard to be more involved in the story but we don't have to take away from the huge implications behind Bunny's death at the hand of his FRIENDS

Richard just came into Bunny's life. Henry knew Bunny for years and was the closest to him in the group. I would rather someone he knew for years betraying him than a person who's barely a friend to him 🤷🏻‍♀️

Am I the only one who hates the "Richard pushed Bunny theory" (⁠*⁠_⁠*⁠)

I feel like it takes away sooo much from Bunny and Henry's friendship/relationship

Richard pushing Bunny does NOT have the same impact as Henry, Bunny's best friend pushing him to death.

Ik we want Richard to be more involved in the story but we don't have to take away from the huge implications behind Bunny's death at the hand of his FRIENDS

Richard just came into Bunny's life. Henry knew Bunny for years and was the closest to him in the group. I would rather someone he knew for years betraying him than a person who's barely a friend to him 🤷🏻‍♀️

I want some chaos, SO hear me out----

I want Akutagawa and Lucy to kiss for some reason (accidentally or intentionally) so that Atsushi will have the "My girl crush and guy crush are kissing each other and it's both terrible and hot at the same time"

The chokehold this ONE guy has over the entire fandom is INSANE.

I am ofc talking about the apple of our eyes 🍎, the love of our lives 💕

✨ Chuuya ✨

WDYM he's underrated, overrated, perfectly rated, most loved, most debated, most iconic---babygirl, daddy, husbando, waifu, twink, blorbo, kin, scrunkly, malewife, king, princess, little meow meow, dog coded---best hair, best waist, best muscles, best face, best boy, best girl----

ALL while having less than an HOUR of screentime and appears once a blue moon?