A Time To Weep & A Time To Laugh.

[28/05/13]

are your excuses more important than your dreams?

need to get more motivation for mid-yearlies from somewhere

The sound of heavy rain while you are in bed.

it’s the smallest habits. how you spend your mornings. how you talk to yourself. what you read. what you watch. who you share your energy with. who has access to you. that will change your life.

“A healthy relationship is where two independent people just make a deal that they will help the other person be the best version of themselves.”

— Unknown

In one condition of the experiment, six flavors of jam were available for tasting: peach, black cherry, red currant, marmalade, kiwi, and lemon curd. In another condition, twenty-four flavors of jam were featured: the six flavors just mentioned plus eighteen others. In both conditions, customers who tasted the jam could then use a coupon to buy a jar at lower cost.

The key finding in the study was that the twenty-four-flavor table attracted more attention yet it resulted in fewer buyers. Shoppers flocked to the exciting array, yet most became overwhelmed and dropped out of buying jam altogether. Only 3 percent of those who visited the twenty-four-flavor table went on to buy jam. In contrast, shoppers who visited the six-flavor table were more able to decide which jar was right for them, with about 30 percent leaving the store with jam in hand.

The next week, I told Ian about the jam experiment and wondered aloud about whether he felt too overwhelmed by life’s purported possibilities to pick something.

“I do feel overwhelmed by the idea that I could do anything with my life,” he said.

“Then let’s get concrete. Let’s talk about choosing jam,” I offered.

“Am I at the six-flavor table or the twenty-four-flavor table?” he asked.

“That is an excellent question. I think part of making any decision in your twenties is realizing there is no twenty-four-flavor table. It’s a myth.”

“Why is it a myth?”

“Twentysomethings hear they are standing in front of a boundless array of choices. Being told you can do anything or go anywhere is like being in the ocean you described. It’s like standing in front of the twenty-four-flavor table. But I have yet to meet a twentysomething who has twenty-four truly viable options. Each person is choosing from his or her own six-flavor table, at best.”

Ian looked at me blankly, so I went on.

“You’ve spent more than two decades shaping who you are. You have experiences, interests, strengths, weaknesses, diplomas, hang-ups, priorities. You didn’t just this moment drop onto the planet or, as you put it, into the ocean. The past twenty-five years are relevant. You’re standing in front of six flavors of jam and you know something about whether you prefer kiwi or black cherry.”

- The Defining Decade by Meg Jay, PhD

I thought I was in the mood to be productive, but it turns out I just wanted to listen to music while looking at my calendar

The problem is a lot of people are scared to fail. They opt for not doing anything at all so their ego doesn’t get hurt. If you can’t risk failing you’ll never win. How can you commit to anything & succeed if you can’t even commit to yourself & conquer your feelings.