Audrey Was Really Gagging Everybody In D3.

How it feels going on Cobra Kai AO3 and trying to weed through all the porn to find good fics

I’ve actually started, y’know, writing that Cobra Kai rewrite-parody fic I brought up half a year ago so here’s a dialogue I came up with for way later in the game:

Tory: I heard you let me come back to school, so I guess I should apologize-

Sam, coyly: Apologize? Whatever for?

Tory: Look, if you’re gonna be like this, then-

Sam: For the first time you assaulted me? For the nightmares you gave me that centered around you breaking into my house to finish me off? Or, is it for the time you actually did that verbatim?

Tory, slightly uncomfortable: I mean…all of that, yeah-

Sam: Hahahaha. *stops smiling* Let’s get one thing straight, buttercup. I only let you come back here for two reasons. Because my parents wanted me to be the bigger person, and because I want my rematch. With no distractions, no secret weapons, no gang to back you up, one on one, on the mat, to the book. But if you come at me, hell, if you even look at me the wrong way before then, I will smite where you stand and then send your ass packing straight back to wherever you came from. Got it?

Tory: *takes a deep breath*….I’m sorry, I could fit you in my pockets, I can’t be afraid of you.

Sam: COUNT YOUR DAYS BITCH. *disappears*

To Fight A Class

Marinette had been different ever since Lila Rossi came back from her trip to Achu. Her falsified trip to Achu. Lila lied about almost everything, and Marinette’s class ate it up like chocolate. Marinette tried to call Lila out on her lies, however, Lila used every word Marinette spoke and turned it against the bluenette. And her class believed her! Even to the point where they stopped being her friends.

Lila made up tales about how Marinette would confront her in the bathroom and threaten her, send her mean texts (which she backed up with fake text screenshots), and she even lied about Marinette physically attacking her when she was alone. However, Lila decided to kick Marinette when she was already down. 

Lila created a fake text number and texted another fake number posing as Marinette and her cousin. Lila, using Marinette’s identity, ranted about how stupid her class was, how she was playing them from the start, going into extensive detail about how their dreams would never become true and how dumb they all were. After Lila showed the class this fake conversation, they decided to confront her. They berated her when she got to the classroom. 

Marinette denied everything, and this made the entire class angry. It made Alix so mad she actually hit Marinette, resulting in a suspension for both girls. Marinette was sad about losing all of her friends. And was almost akumatized 6 times in a single month, only being saved because of Tikki and Plagg fighting off the akumas. Marinette was now a social pariah. Her former friends started to bully her, trip her up, pour liquids on her sketchbook, and even berated her from time to time.

They truly believed that Marinette was a bully, and that hurt her. It hurt her so bad. Adrien still told her to take the moral high ground, that Lila’s lies weren’t hurting anybody, and let Lila realize that her lies are bad on her own. Adrien didn’t realize that Marinette’s lies were hurting her. One time, Marinette yelled at Lila about her lies, and a yelling battle broke out between Marinette and most of her class, Adrien standing by. 

Afterwards, Adrien came up to her and actually berated her and said he was disappointed in her. Marinette berated him back, said something along the lines of ‘I can’t believe I used to like you’, and told him to talk to her when he’s found a way to remove to stupid stick from his ass. Adrien still didn’t realize that he had no right to be disappointed in her, and still tried to talk to her. He eventually gave up, and said to Plagg, word for word, that Marinette was now ‘unsaveable’. It was that moment when Plagg started to change his opinion on his holder.

Things weren’t getting better in her superhero form either. Chat Noir had become even more flirting. To the point where Ladybug occasionally berated him for being so flirty and not concentrating on the battle. One time, when Ladybug berated him in the middle of a fight, Chat decided to be petty. Chat left the fight, leaving Ladybug to fight all by herself. Plagg pleaded with Adrien to go back into the fight, but Adrien thought it would be okay, right?

Wrong, the villain almost killed Marinette’s parents. After that, Ladybug and Chat Noir’s relationship became distant. Chat Noir continued to be flirty, but Ladybug acted like he didn’t exist. One day, during a fight, Chat Noir turned up the flirt and wasn’t even helping Ladybug. After the akuma was defeated, Ladybug berated him and told him to stop acting like this. This was all recorded. The media exploded in outrage and conflict. On one side, people were acting lenient and defending Chat, and the other side was full-on roasting him. This saddened Adrien, who acted like he was the victim here. It was at that moment where Plagg decided that Adrien Agreste was no longer worthy to be his holder. Marinette had been at an all time low in both of her lives.

And guess what? BUSTIER STILL EXPECTED HER TO BE AN EXAMPLE. Whenever there was an altercation, Ms. Bustier spat out some random bullshit about being a good example for the students, and being a good class representative. Marinette was still obligated to plan fundraisers, school trips, and events. She couldn’t take it anymore, and considered taking her own life. Instead, she quit being class representative and moved to Ms. Mendeliev’s class. Ms. Bustier tried to convince her to stay, but the class was adamant that they didn’t need a bully like her as their class representative. That was indeed false.

Max was the smartest kid in the class, just barely getting above Marinette, so they elected him to class president. They planned a bake sale fundraiser, and thought of everything, except the fact that Marinette always baked 70% of all the baked goods. They were convinced that they didn’t need her, so they just bought a bunch of baked goods. Some of them tried to buy from Marinette’s bakery, and were promptly told to leave. 

So, their fundraiser started, and was garbage. Most of the customers at the bake sale didn’t like what the class had brought and thought they were wildly overpriced for being store bought. Lila lied and said hers was homemade. In the end, they raised just 50 dollars. The class was kind of low about this, but were still convinced that Marinette was a bully that was unwanted and unneeded. Speaking of the blue-haired designer.

When she switched to Ms. Mendeliev’s class, the class was worried. They knew Lila lied and had turned the entire class into sheep, and thought Marinette was some sort of spy. But when they learned the full story, they comforted her. However, there were 5 students in the class who were absolutely furious about how Marinette’s old class had betrayed her. Aurore Beauréal, Roman Reyes, Mireille Caquet, Marc Anciel, and Jeanne Lémery. 

These 5 students walked up to the Akuma Class during lunchtime and absolutely laid into them about how they’ve treated Marinette. Of course, they defend themselves and Lila busts out the crocodile tears. This ends in a physical dispute between Jeanne and Alix, which ended with another suspension. Marinette’s new friends started to mold her into the helpful, confident, and kind girl she was before Lila told all those fibs about her. 

She brought pastries in for everyone, even Ms. Mendeliev, and Ms. Mendeliev soon grew to be her favorite teacher. Her new best friends were still furious and wanted to take the Akuma Class down. HARD. Marinette denied this action because she didn’t want to be involved with them again, but when she saw Mylene make a friendship charm for Lila, she quickly agreed and revealed that she had a trump card named  Chloé Bourgeois.

Over the time where Lila was taking over the class, Chloe knew she was lying. She even called her out on it once. That was obviously a mistake. Lila spread even more lies about Chloe being mean to her. She said that Chloe paid people to wreck her windows and even wrecked her windows as “proof”. This caused the class to exile Chloe as well, which Chloe didn’t care about.

But what Chloe did care about was that Lila took Sabrina away from her. The class knew that Chloe was a bully, so it wasn’t hard for them to believe that Chloe did it. Sabrina started slightly threatening her by saying things like ‘People don’t want bullies as friends’ and ‘You can’t use your money to threaten people’. When the class confronted her about being mean to Lila, she didn’t want to take it anymore and went to leave.

She noticed Sabrina didn’t come with her. She called to Sabrina, who simply said ‘I don’t want to be friends with a bully.’ This broke Chloe’s heart and caused her to be akumatized into the Princess Dignity, who tried her best to get to Lila and force her to reveal her lies. Ladybug considered letting her hit Lila with her Blasts of Truth, but eventually overcame it and defeated Princess Dignity. Marinette heard about it and went to go look for Chloe.

She found her crying in an alleyway, where she thought no one would see her. Marinette consoled the blond, who tried to deny any feelings at first, but she eventually caved. She told Marinette about everything, and even admitted she had started liking Sabrina as more than a friend. Marinette and Chloe actually bonded over this, eventually losing hope that their crushes will ever come out of the darkness. (Marinette’s being Adrien, Chloe’s being Sabrina.)

After Marinette introduced Chloe to her new friends and told her about their plan, the blond was all in. Chloe put on an act and apologized to the class. They accepted the apology, Lila actually hugged Chloe, and Ms. Bustier was so proud that she gave Chloe a present. The group had a plan, a rather unnecessarily complicated one, but a plan it was. 

They basically turned their fingers into metaphorical shovels and digged up dirt on everyone in that class, including the teacher. What they got was a gold mine of dirt.

They created a 40 minute video demonstrating all of Lila’s lies being disproved, and for the other half was recordings about the Akuma Class talking bad about each other and even some secrets that they had mentioned to themselves thinking they were alone. Her friends were ready to post it everywhere, but Marinette wanted to give them one last chance.

Her birthday was coming up and she was planning a party. She was going to invite her class. If they said yes, she would go small. If they said no, she would go BIG. When Roman passed out the invitation slips, the entire Akuma Class walked up to her table, insulted her, ripped all of their invitation slips and half, and threw them on Marinette’s table.

Marinette shed a single tear, before releasing a convoluting smirk. Any smirk Chloe gave would pale in comparison to the smugness in Marinette’s smirk. A smirk that made Lila Rossi a bit scared. Marinette replied with a simple, “Alright. Your loss.” They could hear the uncaringness in her voice. They expected begging, crying, and apologies. Not uncaringness. 

Two months later, the Akuma Class walked into school, confused. Everyone was talking about a party hosted by Marinette. They were suspicious and checked Marinette’s social media accounts and saw that 67 pictures were taken and posted by Marinette on the night of her birthday. She had met so many celebrities. Mostly because Jagged Stone was her step-uncle, but she had some connections of her own.

She had designed dresses for Taylor Swift, Gigi Hadid, Billie Eilish (i probably spelled that wrong), and many other artists and models under the identity of MDC. No one knew that it was her, except for her new friends of course, who she told a bit after they became friends. Marientte decided to reveal herself, and people were shocked that it was just a 14 year old girl.

Especially the Avengers, who she had handsewn suits and dresses for once. This was Marinette’s plan, to make her friends regret not showing up and meeting celebrities. However, thanks to a light good luck charm placed on Marinette by Tikki, her plan took an unexpected turn for the better.

Each of the class’s Idols showed up, Lois Lane (Alya’s Idol), Marshmallow (Nino’s Idol), Tony Hawk (Alix’s Idol), Daisy Ridley (Adrien’s Idol), and so many more. Nathaniel was especially hurt when his favorite idol showed up in the picture reel. When Marinette returned, the class berated her once more about how she should have invited them and how some of them could have met their idols and gotten sponsorships.

She then reminds them that she did invite them. They remembered what they did and looked a bit less confident. They still tried to retort and say that she should have told them that she was inviting their idols. She says that she didn’t, that Jagged invited them, they were still mad, but not as mad as they would be at the end of the day. Just as school was about to end, a video was sent to everyone’s phones in Francois Dupont, even some outside of school.

The first 20 minutes were discrediting every lie Lila told. Lila tried to refute it when she saw it, but there was no way to discredit cold hard evidence. The next 20 minutes were revealing secrets, insults, and lies that the class had kept from each other way before Lila even showed her face. Nino stealing from his competition, Alix cheating in multiple races, Kim insulting a lot of his classmates and cheating, Max not even being the one who built Markov, Mylene shown not to be happy in her relationship with Ivan and even ranting about the poor brute, Alya being racist to a dude who had happened to see Ladybug detransform and wouldn’t tell her anything, and so much more. The only ones who had no dirt to dig up were Ivan, Juleka, and Rose, who were relieved.

However, then something unexpected popped up on everyone’s phone screens. A little 6 minute video revealing Adrien to be Chat Noir, posted by Jeanne with the permission from Marinette. It also showed how hostile and petty Chat Noir had been to Ladybug all because she wouldn’t date him. This made people hate Adrien and Gabriel even berated his son for ruining his reputation. 

Adrien was about to go take it out on Marinette, but didn’t expect to be swarmed by a bunch of Kwamis. They stole his ring off of him and flew off, with Plagg stating that Adrien was no longer fit to be Chat Noir before following the rest of the Kwamis. This made Adrien extremely sad, but instead of Hawkmoth akumatized him first, he turned Adrien to the side of evil. Hawkmoth revealed himself as Gabriel and managed to convince Adrien to become evil. He gave him the fixed Peacock Miraculous and Adrien became a recurring villain to Ladybug. However, Ladybug had a new team.

Ladybug decided to give Miraculouses to the friends she knew would always be on her side. She gave Roman the Cat Miraculous, Aurore the Rooster Miraculous, Mirelle the Mouse Miraculous, Kagami the Dragon Miraculous, Luka the Snake Miraculous, and Jeanne the Ox Miraculous. She even gave Chloe the Horse Miraculous so that she wouldn’t have to worry about the secret identity thing again. After a few months of Adrien terrorizing the city as Feather Rouge, they finally defeated him, they threw his ass in jail along with his father and his assistant. 

Her class, after seeing the video, started fighting amongst themselves, eventually escalating to an every man for himself brawl in the classroom. Every student in the class was suspended, but with the video, they had enough expenses expelled. They all decided to blame Lila AND Marinette for this. They went to confront Marinette, even though they all hated each other. Only to meet a badass, angry,  pizza stick weilding Chinese mother who told them to fuck off (she didn’t say “fuck off” literally, but they could tell that they should by her tone of voice). 

They eventually got to Marinette, and tried to berate her again. However, her real friends were there to defend her and scare her former friends off. Marinette thanked them and was grateful to have real friends.

(This is the first fic I’ve ever written. I wrote it in like an hour. I was rushing. I’m sorry if it’s bad.)

PFFT-

Hawk and Demetri, making up and shit:

Robby, leaning to Sam: Oh my god, I thought they were gonna kiss.

Sam: What? That is an absolutely wild thing to thi-me too.

I forgot to mention this but I want yall to know I got something NASHTY planned for the Binary Bros in Season 3

Hypothetical Cobra Kai Musical Songs (Season 2)

WE BACK IN THIS HOE

Yall know what it is. What if Cobra Kai was or had a Musical? Well, this is what I think a couple of the songs in Season 2 would be like.

I was a little confused on what the first song should be but then it came to me. It starts as basically a celebration song between Miguel, Aisha, Hawk, and the rest of the cobras about how they won, they’re badass and all that. It’s trumpet heavy, with some guitars and drums. And then halfway through the song, Johnny cuts in and changes the whole vibe, talking about how they won unfairly, and admonishing them for their dishonorable tactics and cheap moves. His lines would be cold, strict and the music behind it would be mostly drums and perhaps a few trumpets, etc etc. Not quite sure of a name for it, ngl.

I try to think of at least one song for each episode in a season, but I’m drawing a blank on Episode 2. Hmmm. I guess a reprise of Pain is Power while the students are training in the cement mixer, sung by Johnny and Kreese.

Then, another Johnny song, wow, I’m really giving this man a lot of screentime, ion even like this guy. Anyway, it’s him explaining all of the Keene-Lawrence lore to Miguel, telling him about how he was never there for Robby because he could never build up the courage, and by the time he did, it was far too late. It would be uncharacteristically sullen, with a background track composed of violins, flutes, piano, etc. I think the song should be called Fall Again, and in the feel of the lyrics, I think it would be a lot like Die Together by Fabvl, primarily the chorus.

Episode 4 doesn’t get a song because I can’t think of one rip.

Next, maybe a short sonata during the Eli flashback at the start of the episode about how much of a fucking loser everyone thinks he is, ending with Hawk saying the last words in the present day. It’d be about a minute long, wouldn’t take up too much time. No idea what to call it, ngl.

Next, a dramatic ass song from Daniel about him admonishing Johnny for the vandalism of Miyagi Do, starting with pure accusations towards him and his dojo, and then him lecturing the students about the true nature of Cobra Kai, which results in half of the leaving as in canon, It would be exactly like Mastermind from the newest episode of Helluva Boss, well, not ‘exactly’, but like, the same genre and feel. I’d call it Too Far. 

I REALLY want to put a Kreese solo here in Episode 6, but I feel like that should wait until Season 3 since that’s the season where he’s the sole and biggest antagonist. So instead, I’m going to have a song with Johnny’s three friends on their road trip. After Johnny brings up how he brought the dojo back and allowed Kreese to put his grubby little hands on it, each of the friends launches into a musical number about how their lives went downhill after Cobra Kai and all the bullshit it put in their brains. Tommy’s section at the end would be especially passionate, all of this would really put some doubt in Johnny’s mind. No clue what I’d call it lmao, I’m sorry-

Next up, a song between Miguel and Hawk. It’s a song-rap battle type deal, think Fight of Our Lives from Descendants Rise of Red except significantly less cringe. So basically It’s Goin’ Down. It’s starts when Hawk reveals that he did all the vandalism and stole the medal, and it’s an argument that conveys that Miguel leans to Johnny and Hawk leans to Kreese. Hawk calls himself a revolutionary while Miguel calls him a criminal. …yeah I don’t have a name for this one either, I’m SORRY-

And then, a Robby and Sam love duet. Now, I do feel bad about giving Robby and Sam a duet like this and not Tory and Miguel (which is honestly just because I have no idea where to put it), but I think it works because imo Robby and Sam’s relationship was way more genuine and interesting than Tory and Miguel’s. I think Tory and Miguel got together just because the other was there. Anyway, this would be a short bop, in the same vein as Meant to Combine from Zombies the PEAKanimated series. I’d probably call it Sugar and Spice, because they go together like, well, Sugar and Spice. Also to show how Sam’s from a good place and a sweetheart (Sugar), and how Robby’s rough around the edges because he’s from a bad life (Spice).

Then a short Daniel and Amanda duet, mostly of their reconciliation, I’d take inspiration from ‘Wouldn’t Change A Thing’ from Camp Rock 2 (I think it was 2, I’m not sure). It’s mainly about Amanda talking about how the company’s going under because of Daniel’s obsession and Daniel opening up about the trauma and pain he faced at the hands of Cobra Kai and how he wants to stop them before they hurt other kids. But in the end, they resolve to come to a compromise. Calling it Priorities, because, well, that’s what it’s mostly about. 

For the next song, I’m thinking maybe a Johnny Daniel duet? About the stories of their past or something? It could take place when they’re all at the Mexican restaurant and Amanda and Carmen go to the bathroom. Honestly, not sure of this at all, I just wanted a song for the events of Episode 9 (and to prepare for the emotional sniper shot the next song is going to be).

Up next, Robby solo. Taking place after Daniel banishes him for the second time. It’s an emotional, orchestral solo about how Robby has been being abandoned and cast away his entire life, and how he thought he was finally in a place where he was valued, cared for, even loved, but then it all got ripped away from him like all the times before. You know how in all musical, there’s always one singer that’s just unabashedly a better vocalist than everyone else? I imagine that’s what Robby’s actor would be. So this one would just hurt to listen to, but also be heat. Think Waiting in the Wings from Tangled The Series. Actually, it’s EXACTLY like Waiting in the Wings from Tangled the Series. Legit can’t think of a better basis for this song. Maybe some Everything I Ever Thought I Knew from the same series. I’d probably call it Clockwork because of how he feels like everything’s repeating.

And then the finale song, taking place during the school fight. It’s absolute pandemonium with harmonies, clashing lyrics, all kinds of lyrics, each main teen rivalry would get a verse, it would be insane. First starting with Miguel and Robby’s lyrics, basically insulting each other about their places with Sam and Johnny respectively, Miguel takes cheap shots at Robby about how his father gave him up, weaponizing the information he learned in Fall Again, but then Robby claps back about how Miguel basically fucked over his own relationship with Sam. 

And then Hawk and Demetri, it’s a Hawk heavy segment of him hunting Demetri down, talking about how he can’t run forever and how he’s going to get what’s coming to him, mocking Demetri about his philosophy, maybe calling back to Under the Radar and Flip the Script. 

And finally, Sam and Tory, I would have Tory call Sam a Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing and tell her that karma’s come to collect her debt (only peak enjoyers know that reference). Tory heavy segment, very bitter, angry instrumental. And then when Hawk and Tory have Sam and Demetri on the back foot, Sam and Demetri launch into a sort of duet, reiterating Daniel’s teachings as they use their Miyagi-Do techniques to take down their aggressors. 

But then when it comes to Miguel and Robby, it’s way different, because it’s actually pure action until Miguel has Robby on the ground, and then Miguel apologizes. And that’s when Robby gets pissed, attacking Miguel as he wrathfully sings about how it’s dumb that Miguel thinks a sorry is supposed to erase everything. He’s blinded by rage until he accidentally kicks Miguel off of the railing.

And then Miguel gets a slow, soft version of the chorus, sung as he falls down the rail and his thoughts slow down to reflect on every action that got him to this point. It’s sullen until he’s cut off by the sound of his spine breaking on the stair rail. The screen cuts to black. And then Miguel sings the last words as the camera fades to him laying on the ground, blood pooling from his mouth.

“From here~” 

Okay, yeah, I think I cooked with that last one. Anyways, just like last time, feel free to suggest names and other songs you think could fit in. But overall, I hope you all enjoy.

I knew you’d love it

Hypothetical Cobra Kai Musical Songs (Season 3)

Sorry this took a while, school was cooking me like turkey. 

What if Cobra Kai was or had a Musical? Well, this is what I think a couple of the songs in Season 3 would be like.

First up is DEFINITELY a song about the community reacting to the whole karate war situation. It ranges from negative takes to positive takes, basically a bunch of random people singing and maybe some of the secondary characters can throw in their two cents. As a base, think Hatchet Town from Nerdy Prudes Must Die. Wow, crazy how that’s not the first time I’ll be referencing NPMD.The second to last verse is a mashup of everyone else’s. Anyway, I’m thinking maybe Johnny can have the last verse as he laments over what could’ve possibly gone so wrong. I’d just call it Aftermath, after the episode. 

Now, Episode 1 has a ton of moments that could be musicalified, but I narrowed it down to just two, the second of which being a reprise of Fall Again from Season 2, but this time sung about and to Miguel as he’s in comatose.

Okay so, I completely forgot that Miguel wakes up from his coma in Episode 1, I had a song idea for that I guess I can just put it here. It’s like Courage in Me (Christina Vee Cover) from the Miraculous Movie had a baby with Scarface. It’s a blood-pumping, dance-rock track about Miguel fighting to wake up from the coma, lighting the fire within him to win in the mind tournament his comatose-ness was portrayed as. I’d call it Power In Me, and yes I know it’s dangerously close to Courage In Me, shush.(Off topic but I’m surprised they haven’t used Scarface on the show yet).

Now, to Episode 2. This episode is kind of all over the place in terms of events, so I was only able to find one place where a song would be appropriate. Remember that hypothetical Kreese solo I mentioned in Season 2. Here it is, at the tail end of the episode. It’s called Black and White, and it’s inspired by Be Prepared and military rock. He basically sings about his world view, about how all their lives they’re told to be good, but good is a matter of perspective. He tells his students that their enemies view themselves as heroes, and them as villains, and that they must shed their weakness like true cobras. It’s basically just Kreese’s villain song.

Hmmm, from what I’m thinking, I can’t come up with a song for Episode 3. This might change as I continue through the doc. For now, just imagine a reprise of Clockwork.

Next is an admittedly odd choice, but it’s a Kumiko song. It’s a ‘Colors of the Wind’-esque song about their past and their connection and how far Daniel’s come. I don’t have many thoughts on it and honestly it’s just a song I put in because 1, I feel like this musical’s become too rock heavy, and 2, I didn’t want to leave two episodes in a row songless.

However, what I will NOT call an odd choice is my next song, a Chozen solo. It’s basically Chozen telling Daniel about Miyagi’s forced-to-kill scenarios, and teaching him how to do pressure points. He explains that defense takes many forms. I’d probably name it True Devotion, but it’d be one of those songs where the name doesn’t pop up in the actual song because I’m not too sure about the name.

HAZBIN HOTEL SEASON 2 LEAK SPOILERS ALERT 

Now, I don’t know where to put this, but I’d really like to fit a Tory villain song somewhere, I mean, she’s a genuine cartoon villain in Seasons 2-3. Her song would be….okay, I know it’s very bad to spread leaks, I myself was pissed after I watched this because I thought it was a fanwork and later realized it was a leak, but it’s just perfect for comparison. It would be almost exactly like Like Gravity from the Hazbin Hotel S2 leaks. I imagine it would have Kreese as ad libs pulling her to the dark side. I’d call it Run Dry, with the lyric “And now the patience well’s run dry”.

ALRIGHT LEAK SPOILERS OVER

Afterwards, a Sam solo taking place after the arcade fight, all about how afraid she feels of Tory after the school fight. She admonishes herself for being too cowardly to save her friend, admits that she’s terrified of being hunted and hurt like that again. She also links fighting Tory to Miguel’s injury, which is just not great for her. It’d probably be similar in genre to Familiar from Steven Universe, a soft, boopy, sad song that makes you feel bad for the gorl. Maybe I’ll call it Frozen, link it with the lyric “Frozen in fear” maybe? Not exactly sure. I’d probably base it on like, the first verse and chorus of Speechless, the hopeless tone of it would be pungent in this song. A unique idea for this is that it’d be short, like a minute and a half, for reasons you will find out later in this post.

And now…for the Binary Bros.

After the arm-breaking thing, you’d expect me to have a song idea for them right. WRONG. I have THREE song ideas for them, but they can’t all coexist because giving them like, 3 songs seems like dragging the issue out. One of them is a duet, and the other two are solos for both of them, so I’ll dive into them now.

The duet first. Kind of off-topic but did you know that Diary of a Wimpy Kid has a musical? Well, there’s a song in this musical called ‘Dear Diary’, and that song has the exact vibe I want for this one. I want it to be both of them lamenting and wondering how their friendship could’ve gotten to this point, and how they both still yearn for each other (platonically or romantically if you’re into the ship), despite being on opposite sides of the karate war. 

It would first show Hawk alone trying to convince himself that what he did was right, but then the mask comes off and he sullenly sings about how much he regrets what he did, and how the nature of his actions in the past few months are slowly starting to set in. It would have remnants of his sonata from Season 2 and it would all be about the regret.

And then Demetri’s verse would kick in, and it would have the structure of Under The Radar, but be as sullen as Hawk’s verse. Demetri is singing that he physically cannot believe that they’ve stooped this low as he looks over old pictures of the two of them, reminiscing on the old days and how good they used to be. He looks inward, thinking about how he could’ve stopped this, how he could’ve helped his friend before he turned to the dark side. 

And then the last chorus would start and it would just be a crushing duet between the two of them, both of them essentially saying the same thing with different words: I miss my friend.

I don’t talk about the visuals of these hypothetical songs enough, let me do it now. The visuals would be of them soaring through the universe, dodging planets and astroids and other astronomical objects to get to each other, which would represent how they’ve overcome every obstacle in their friendship until now. And then they would get to one planet, one half of it is black with the Cobra Kai logo, and the other is white with the Miyagi Do logo, and no matter how much they fly around it, the planet rotates to keep them both on their respective sides. They plant their hands on the planet, and the colors of their sides start to take over their bodies as they passionately sing the final lyrics. And then, when they repeat the last lyric, all of the visuals fade away and it shows them just standing with their heads against the wall, but it’s shown in a split-screen kinda way so it looks like their touching foreheads.  I don’t know if I explained that well enough, but this section is long enough.The song would be called My Other Half. 

On to the solos, first, Demetri’s, a few weeks ago I wrote a Demetri version of All 2 U from Helluva Boss, it’s not perfect but I put my whole writerussy into it. Anyway, I think this hypothetical song would be like a cross between All 2 U and Lost In The Woods from Frozen 2. In my mind, it has the emotional rawness of All 2 U, but the message is a mix of both. You know that one interview where Gianni says that Demetri can’t function without Eli, so I’m taking that and running with it. This song is basically Demetri’s mini-mental breakdown, where the mask comes off and he reveals just how much he has been hurting emotionally, having had his other half ripped away from him. It would have guitars, drums, just like the songs I mentioned as basises, it would be all around depressing. But it would end on a sort of happy determined note of Demetri saying he’ll wait for Eli to come back to him and see the light.The song would literally be called Back To Me. 

And then, Hawk’s solo, Hawk would try a little bit harder to keep the mask on, singing about how this is the right way and he deserves to be strong after everything he’s been through, he needs to be strong after all the ways he’s grown. And then it comes off as he sings, “But what if I’m the monster?” It’s basically everything his verse in My Other Half is but longer. I think it’d be similar to Loser Geek Whatever (casually steals @embryoed’s idea), but like, crossed with Micheal in the Bathroom. I’d just call it Monster. 

WOO finally, that section’s over. God DAMN. After that absolute trio of terror, I think we deserve a fun song.

This next song is called Who Are We, and it’s centered around Johnny, Miguel, and the rest of the soon-to-be Eagle Fang coming up with a cool name. It’s a kooky, chill, pump up fun song of Johnny trying to get the eagles hyped up in hopes that they’ll help him come up with a name. Everyone suggests horrid names. 

And then, next a Carmen solo. It’s basically that moment where she apologizes for blaming Johnny and that she was hurt by what happened. She exposits almost the whole story about their life, how they immigrated in from Mexico because Miguel’s father was a horrible man, and how he’s had complications his whole life and how she’d do anything for him, yada yada. I’d probably call it Historia De Nuestras Vidas, or ‘Story of our Lives’ in Spanish…probably, idk I used Google Translate because I cheated my way through spanish class last year. It’d sound slow and sultry like something you’d hear in a musical episode of a telenovela. Oddly I’d want the verses to sound like the verses in Bum Biddy from Eight Crazy Nights, which is funny as hell. That song just has a really good structure.

After that, a song that takes place in the appeal. It starts out with Kreese pulling a Kreese, waving his ex-military status and PTSD around like a get out of jail free card and claiming that Miyagi-Do started the violence, painting them as the villain and infuriating Daniel and Amanda.Then, Daniel steps in, singing about the true story of how it all started, which not a lot of people actually believe because of Daniel’s history. Then, Johnny interjects, actually supporting Daniel (partially), and sharing about how Kreese’s methods destroyed his life and sent him on a downwards spiral. It devolves into an argument until Miguel shows up, singing the last verse about how he was bullied before he started learning karate, about how there will always be bullies and karate is all about standing up to them. I’d call the song Karate Belongs In Northridge, but the title wouldn’t show up in the song lol.

Then…alright, you’ve had a break from the emotional hits, it’s time for another. 

Robby’s pseudo-villain song, let’s GO. I call it a ‘pseudo-villain’ song because honestly, compared to what I have coming up for this guy, this song is child’s play.

Anyway, it’s basically Crossing the Line from Tangled with more guitars, it takes place after he finds Miguel and Sam kissing, and he’s on his way to Cobra Kai. Like Clockwork, it starts with him singing about everyone who’s screwed him over, starting with Johnny, the sperm donor who abandoned him for years, made a weak attempt to reconnect just to be able to say that he did, and then replaced him with another teenage boy.

And then Miguel, who he felt he could never measure up to for anyone, the boy who took everything away from him.

And then Sam, who made him feel like he could be loved and then it turned out he was basically a placeholder to her.

And finally, the one that stung the most: Daniel. He made Robby feel important and that he had potential, only to throw him away at the slightest inconvenience. 

After that, he launches into the chorus, singing about how he’s putting the walls back up stronger than ever before, about how he’s learned from every betrayal and figured out that he can only trust and look after himself. He’s been the scapegoat for far too long, so he’s taking his life back, and Shifting the Narrative. (That’s the name of the song if you couldn’t already tell, which you probably could)

And then, no more songs. That’s right, Episode 9 doesn’t get a song, because we have to prepare for the next and final song: a Sam-Tory duet (kind of).

It starts with Tory, singing in a similar manner Hawk did when hunting Demetri in Season 2’s finale. She’s singing about how karma’s caught up to Sam and now she pays for everything she’s done. She calls Sam a snob, a nepotism baby, one of those people who thinks the world should all that usual rhetoric she used to throw around to excuse her actions, and Sam’s taking the brunt of her rant and attacks…until she shatters the Miyagi Do picture.

Every memory she’s had of Miyagi flashes through her mind at once, and she gets so pissed off that the trauma literally gets scared and leaves. It’s like an unforgiving, cold rage, which leads me into my next sentence: the reason Frozen is so short is because it’s the first half of this song. And now, we enter the second half: Avalanche. 

I literally wrote up these lyrics:

Every sting, every lesson, every tear, every second wasted petrified and fearing for my life

Every dream, every vision, every nightmarish decision piercing straight through my psyche like a knife

I’ve listened to all your baseless accusations, your bold and faceless condemnation

And it’s built up in my soul with the goal to take control until it all bubbles over like an avalanche

So yeah, this song is intense. It’s Sam saying she is DONE with Tory’s bullshit and beating her ass while singing. Honestly, I’d probably compare it to Stronger Than You in terms of message. Tory thinks she knows exactly who and what Sam is, but she hasn’t even begun to understand who Sam is, everything that she’s been through, everything that’s made her who she is today. And now, she’s going to show her. 

And yeah, that’s the last song of the season. An intense bop about Sam owning tf out of Tory. 

This was honestly the funnest season to conceptualize for so far. I especially liked thinking about Avalanche, if someone takes my idea and makes it a reality, that song is going to be therapeutic. And I do hope I broke some hearts with the trio of terror that is the binary bros’ songs.

These posts got a lot more attention than I though they would. Off topic, but sometime in the near future I’m thinking about writing a kind of Cobra Kai parody/rewrite fanfic, it would exaggerate some plot points for laughs while completely changing others, and I would structure it like a normal TV show (26 episodes per season). It would also be a jukebox musical, probably using the songs I used as basis’ in these post.  Would y’all read that? Let me know. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed, and as always, if you have suggestions, don’t hesitate to share.

Johnny is a bad person and an even worse father.

With that said, he’s my 5th favorite character of the show.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GAHD

This is basically the muted conversation from the teaser:

"Hey Demetri! Moon and I had one of those emotional talks, and we realized that my constant obsession with you was more than platonic. I'm actually bi and realized when she dated a girl, it's actually fine if I date a guy. I'm also going to mit!"

Demetri: "Eli I could've told you this the whole time. It was never about college, it was about the fact that I'm deeply in love with you and don't wanna be apart. I tried to get your attention 4 seasons ago at that party, stupid."

Eli: "Are we still binary bros then?"

Demetri: "NO! Binary boyfriends."

Cue the dramatic hug because the writers can't let two boys kiss

“Binary Brothers Forever” SHUT THE FUCK UP AND KISS ALREADY RAAAGH

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