Might As Well Post This Here

True and real! I agree that gender binary is generally bad and in fact I wish that I could opt out of hormones completely without rapidly deteriorating my health.

That said, unfortunately having some binary sex hormones are generally necessary for long-term wellbeing and health. That meant that I had to choose between my birth guy hormones or woman-y hormones if I wanted to avoid a ton of health complications. I chose to transition to become hormonally more woman-y since switching hormones felt much more nonbinary than keeping the same ones, at least for me personally. (I also felt like I should definitely have boobs, regardless of my assigned gender at birth). However, I’m not a woman which makes the term trans woman a dysphoric self-identifier for me.

Now you might wonder, why do you ever need to talk about your hormonal transition? Well sometimes I really crave salty foods a lot or I really want a lot of cuddles or I have periods and I ideally like to qualify those lived experiences by noting my hormonal layout. Now sure, I could just say “I am an amab who now has the hormonal layout of a woman but I’m not a woman and I’m actually nonbinary. Anyway…” but that’s incredibly clunky. Instead, I like to have an easy and clear non-clinical self-identifier that signifies my hormonal transition to allow me to easily contextualize my experiences with my hormonal makeup.

I have also found that generally other people who have gone from guy hormones to woman-y hormones are generally similar to me in specific ways, and like most humans, I like to “find my tribe” so to speak. Having the short and clear label of transfem, especially within label based internet communities made it easy for me to find people that I especially vibe with. Without a short and clear label I would likely struggle to find other nonbinary amabs who hormonally transitioned to the woman-y hormones.

Side tangent: I disagree with you that the terms transfem and transmasc have to always correlate to birth sex. For example I have one nonbinary transmasc friend who is amab and the label transmasc is generally a good descriptor of them. They note that the term fits them well because they kept their amab hormones in their transition while embracing their masculine side throughout their social transition to being nonbinary. They also often feel more similar to transmascs than transfems or cis guys which means the label transmasc for them functions similar to me in finding their tribe.

For me, and for other nonbinary people I know, the terms transfem and transmasc help us find communities where we share the same hormones and smoothly communicate which hormones we have without causing dysphoria or feeling needlessly clinical.

I agree that imposing binary labels onto those who do not want them is wrong and I’m sorry that you have felt the gender binary reimposed onto you by the trans community via these labels. At the same time however, I still feel that the terms transfem and transmasc definitely have their place in the community and do not always coorelate to birth sex. Both can be true at once.

Really hate that the queer community's response to the creation of a gender trinary (girl, boy, and nonbinary, which is still not all-encompassing) was to... reinvent the binary. We just started grouping all genders into "masc/male-aligned" and "fem/female-aligned" and it's so fucking stupid. Even with the occasional allowance of "neutral/unaligned" it still maintains the binary as the standard. And then they don't let you use certain labels if you don't have the "right" gender alignment. The fuck.

My tattoo design

It represents wave particle duality which is a great metaphor for my gender: I am both a probabilistic wave and a discrete particle. I am constantly collapsing into a particle when I’m observed (you either know my position or my velocity but not both). When I’m not being observed I am a probabilistic wave of possibilities.

The two particles — one in the middle and another up and left from the center — represent why I continue to do anything, my reasons for existing:

The middle dot stands for understanding how the universe and everything in it fundamentally works — an aspiration that the fractal theory of everything helps me with.

The other stands for mutual unconditional love — especially the love I have toward my partner who is the first person I felt mutual unconditional love with.

I look forward to adding many more dots over my lifetime whenever I find a new achievable goal to strive toward. I hope eventually I will find both fixing the increase in societal inequality over time and fixing the increase in global warming achievable.

As of present both of those issues are far out of reach for me due to the immense inertia that both of them have and I don’t want to spend time fighting for one small shove against those boulders rolling down a mountain, a shove that might crush me in the process. I would rather figure out how to meaningfully change their paths for the better. Maybe that involves exploding the boulders. Maybe that involves flattening the hill. Maybe that involves adding a ramp to the hill so the boulders fly away, never to be seen again. Maybe that involves learning to be a Jedi so I can use the force on the boulders. I’m not sure what the solution will be but I know I’m not at the point where I can have a meaningful impact on either of them so instead for my well-being I would rather focus on issues that I do feel I can make a significant impact on today, in the hopes that eventually I will have enough wisdom and power to make a meaningful difference on those two big issues at hand.

The first link goes so incredibly hard

Resources 🌼

(Updated regularly)

🪷 Emergency resource: oh no I’m having a bad thought

🌻 Apps and Games

Finch: mental health app where you care for a little bird! Offers many features such as focus timers, rant zones, nature sounds, fun questions, and more! You can even make friends on it and send them encouragement :) (my friend code)

Adorable Home: a precious game in which you have a tiny spouse, cats, and a little house you can decorate! You can check in and enjoy peaceful music, different scenes, and upgrades through collecting tiny hearts you earn through easy tasks! A truly adorable and relaxing game!

Seashine: a game set underwater in which you guide a tiny luminescent jellyfish through the abyss. Beautiful, relaxing music and distant whale noises; some scary enemies, so if you have thalassophobia this might not be the one for you. Very calming otherwise though, and the creator is coming out with an enemy-free version soon in which you can just float around to the music!

Cat Snack Bar: an adorable app where you operate different business venues with the help of chubby, adorable cats! You check in periodically to collect money and update your venue, but otherwise it doesn't require much brain power. A very cute game to help you relax!

Webtoon: a comic app that allows you to browse thousands of creative and often relaxing webcomics! My personal favorite is Cursed Princess Club; it's a very clever and happy one with a lot of good messages!

1010!: a fun little game where you match up blocks. Fairly simple and satisfying, and you can update your backgrounds to fun designs!

Papa's Cupcakeria: a relaxing and satisfying game where you make cupcakes! And of course there’s a whole series of games in the Papa Louie universe to choose from that are fun and happy :)

🪸 Fun Websites

Neal.fun: features many creative pages you can visit such as— a stack of movable rocks, a page that shows how deep the ocean really goes, who was alive [insert year], draw logos from memory, and more!

mrdoob.com: a wacky website with lots of fun features you can draw and mess around with

boredbutton: for when you're bored out of your mind and want a pointless website to mess with!

theuselessweb.com: takes you to a completely useless website, such as a page where it rains corndogs or a page where you can create different forms of art.

ashortjourney.com: lets you take a small and beautifully drawn trip on a trolley and pick up/drop off tiny creatures!

Forestopia: allows you to explore images of forests and the things inside, with background forest noises!

boredpanda.com: full of memes, funny stories, and more!

listverse: contains many lists, some horrifying (so be warned for those) and some just fascinating!

🍄 Focus Sites and Playlists

rainymood.com: a site/app that lets you listen to rain for as long as you want!

asoftmurmur.com: lets you listen to a variety of sounds like rain, thunder, or a fire!

Open ocean: 10 hours of underwater videography of a spot in the ocean!

imissmycafe.com: site that lets you listen to the noises of a coffee shop! You can change the different noises too :)

Secret Forest Playlist: peaceful music; 2 hours

Rain on Leaves on a Forest Road in Autumn: rain in the woods; 10 hours

Haunted Village Halloween Ambience: eerie but quiet music; 3 hours

Relaxing Autumn/Fall Forest: sounds of wind, crows, songbirds, and creaking trees; 7 hours

Chill Beats for Worldbuilding and Writing: Fabulous lofi music; 1 hour

It's Just a Dream/Dreamcore: Very peaceful and ambient music; 4 hours

Autumn Acoustic: Autumn inspired songs; 5 hours

Sad Piano Music: beautiful piano pieces by Jurrivh; 6 hours

The Most Relaxing Waves Ever: beach noises; 8 hours

Have your own recommendations? Drop a comment or ask!

I neeeeed people to stop conflating femme with “gender-conforming lesbian.” Both butch and femme are inherently gender nonconforming because they’re based in redefining masculinity and femininity in ways that don’t involve men. That’s like half the definition. Some of us have all of our body hair. Some of us have short hair. Some of us don’t wear a lot of makeup, or any at all. Some of us feel more comfortable in a suit than a dress. Some of us are loud, angry, and protective. Some of us aren’t women. Femmes are not a monolith of soft and delicate cis girls and I really need to see more recognition of that on this site before I go insane.

Fuck.

@gaugevectormoron this was just too good to leave in the tags. Also yay it turns out I’m not alone in this specific oddity of mine :D

I have a question: has anyone else tried using their boobs’ nipples to scroll on a touchscreen or is this an insane person activity I have just attempted?

I tried to google it but it’s a pretty unsearchable query.

It's (mostly) done!!

brightgreendandelions.neocities.org

Flag Maker!!

the flag maker is finally in a presentable state :) not the embarrassing pile of default css it was on the first day...

i even added a little OpenGraph image preview!!

The three genders: masc, fem, and chaos

See : https://jfyfractal3.tumblr.com/image/739612919646568448