Its Really Confusing When Youve Had A Traumatic Childhood, But Your Adult Life Has Been Really Traumatic

one of the worst parts for me about chronic illness is not having answers.

im a very logical and analytical person i love things to make sense i love patterns and reasons.

i have answers for pats of my health, and im so grateful for that, but the parts that i dont have answers for haunt me.

i think about it all the time. what if its not real and thats why theres no answer? what if im not explaining my symptoms right and thats why i havent had the right test that would give me the right answer.

i know logically that its a waste of time to think about, but i cant help it, i obsess over it. not understanding the world is one thing, but not understanding my own body? my own life? thats what gets me.

Shout out to people who use adult diapers

Shout out to people who have chronic UTI

Shout out to people who have catheters

Shout out to people who have urostomys

Shout out to people who still wet the bed

Shout out to people with kidney scarring

Shout out to people who deal with kidney stones

Shout out to people with kidney cancer

Shout out to people with kidney failure

Shout out to people who I didn’t mention but still have kidney/urinary tract issues

I love you, I know it sucks, the judgement sucks, the symptoms suck. You’re not gross, it’s okay to talk about it. Your suffering isn’t taboo, never let anyone treat you like it is.

i feel so disconnected from myself and my life, it kinda feels like im on autopilot or smth

life doesnt feel very real or tangible, it feels distant

i’ve decided on which story i want to tell first. very excitedddd

cries its so beautiful

I'm saving up for a bath seat and a wheelie tray that can be used in bed or on the couch... I know most of you are in a very similar financial position to me but if anyone out there has a few $ to spare, I'd really appreciate the help ✌️

my Ko-fi

this i always feel like theres basically two versions of “cant” because sometimes people say cant and they dont actually mean that.. they just mean its hard. and then they assume i also mean its just hard.

it genuinely so. so. no even have word for it. so profoundly exhausting that anytime any disabled person talk about can’t do something—full, wholeheartedly can’t, absolutely can’t, under no circumstance can, if no one help them or do it for them it not get done n they suffer whatever consequence include dying—that it always get FLOOD by so so many “same it SO hard for me but no one help so have to force do by self” n “am i? actually? not low support needs? because all these stuff u talk about so hard for me too n no one recognize it so have do it by self :(“ like you all not get it n not even know you not get it n not sure you all even capable of get it, n, ironically this time do mean, that genuinely, absolutely, no matter what happen, can’t

Bloom redesign 💙

Helping physically disabled people doesn’t mean manhandling us like we're pieces of luggage.

Ask how you can help, rather than going ahead and hauling us like sacks of human cargo. It's for both respect and safety reasons, by the way.

maddening that the media refuses to call nazi salutes what they are. HOW ARE WE HERE RIGHT NOW. fucks sake.